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English
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Published:
2026-08-10
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814
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1/1
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A Murder? Or Worse...

Summary:

A crossover of Psych and House where a patient in the hospital House works at is either murdered or has mysteriously died with no indication why...
(loosely based of the episode Open and Shut of House M.D.)

Notes:

For EllaScreams!
Sorry if this isn't my best I'm still trying to improve my writing skills (I feel like I messed up House's character)
Don't forget to eat something, drink water, and take your medicine!
<3

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

House woke up in a terrible mood, not only did he run out of his precious Vicodin stash, his patient had mysteriously died during the night. House had found the right treatment to cure the young woman, seeing as it was a bee sting which caused Systemic vasculitis, yet she was dead in her bed in the morning with no signs of struggle or sickness. Because of the absolute absurdity of this case, Cuddy decided to call upon Santa Barbara's finest psychic, Spencestarr aka Shawn Spencer, and his partner in crime, Gus TT Showbiz or Burton Guster.

"Gus! C'mon don't be a paranoid schizophrenic, I'm sure everything will be fine~"

Shawn couldn't even finish his sentence before a sarcastic voice sounded from inside the room "If your friend here is sick, the psychiatric unit is down the hall. Now, are you two the idiots they sent to solve this case?"

"Only Santa Barbara's finest, House. Heh. Who the hell names their son House?" Shawn looks back at Gus and they both fist bump before House interrupts their momentary excitement.

"Well maybe if you thought about it or used the brain that I'm guessing you have, you'd realize it's my last name." He glared at the two. "So I'm stuck with you two psychos huh?"

Shawn looked at him fake hurt: "Oh my god. I understand not liking someone but are you saying I'm not a psychic!"

House mocked sympathy, deadpanning: "Oh no! I hurt the poor psychics feelings! I can feel the spirits crushing what's left of my soul." He sighed and took a small white medication. "So, since I have no choice to work with dumb and dumber, lets get this over with. She had systemic vasculitis and was fine last night when I left at about 10 o'clock. When I got here this morning Cuddy had told me she was dead and you Dumbos were coming."

"Okay, so can you explain what the hell systemic vasculitis is?"

"I thought psychics were all knowing... So what happens is the body, I hope you know what that is, and its immune system starts attacking itself. It caused the kidneys to fail randomly, AKA for you genius, her tummy got an owie and she got sick."

Gus responded: "Isn't Systemic vasculitis incredibly rare? I'm a little smarter than Shawn, I'm Gus, a pharmaceutical salesman."

House sighed, "well at least one of you isn't completely nuts"

"GUS! I'm sensing something!"

"what?"

"I'm sensing two things" he dramatically paused, "FIRST. This woman was murdered. SECOND and far more importantly, do they have any chili fries around here?"

House stared dumbfounded at the two waiting not so patiently for the answer. He rubbed his forehead and sighed, "Two blocks down the street, it's a food truck called Dino's"

After a much needed snack break, Shawn and Gus came back to explain the story.

"THE SPIRITS HAVE TOLD ME!"

"Shawn we're in the wrong room..."

Shawn smiled sheepishly at the patient who was sitting in the bed staring at them. "If you want the crabby old bastard with a cane he's next door."

"take two" he mumbled before strutting into the room with the bastard holding a cane "THE SPIRITS HAVE TOLD ME!"

"No shit Sherlock" House replied in a fake enthusiastic tone, "I'm pretty sure they heard you back in Santa Barbara."

"Okay then Mr. I'm-too-good-for-a-psychic-detective-because-I-can't-keep-my-patients-alive! I've got three~ I mean four~ nope wrong way.. I've got two words for you.

SUCK IT!"

House glared at Shawn, and slightly intimidated he explained the story...

"This woman was murdered. I'm sensing that her husband wanted an, an open marriage?"

House looked surprised and nodded.

"Yes I can see her now..." He quickly scanned the room seeing there was a few kleenexes filled with ruined makeup and tears. "IT WAS THE HUSBAND!!!! HE WANTED HER DEAD! and I know how he did it too!"

"OH please holy psychic Shawn Spencer tell me how he did it!"

Shawn side eyed House before putting his fingers to his temple and mumbling nonesense...

"Sugar no. Orange juice. Candy. GUS!" he cried before placing his free hand on Gus' bald head.

"SHAWN!" he sighed playing into it, "You mean diabetes? what does that have to do with this?"

"C'mon son it's like those murders we've seen on TV! I'm sensing the husband was diabetic, he just gave her some insulin... Do you guys have any thingys for that?"

"You mean a test?" House stood up and he realized that it made perfect sense. He called Chase and they immediatley started running tests to find that Shawn's conclusion was correct!

"You know that's right!" Gus smiled and fist bumped Shawn.

"Y'know as crazy as this sounds, I think you two aren't that awful..." House mumbled...

Shawn gasped excitedly before House threw the two out of the patients room with a small smile on his face.

Notes:

HIHIHI sorry if this isn't that good I've had a migraine
Either way I hope you have a great day!