Work Text:
It’s been nineteen days since Ash’s disappearance. Nineteen days, almost four hundred fifty six hours of Ash going through horrors unimaginable to Ewron. Nineteen days of Ewron trying his hardest to get any clues about the man’s location. Nineteen days of working talking to people, desperately trying to find someone, anyone who would be interested.
Barely anyone cared.
Ewron felt like he was screaming on rooftops for a solution to an impossible problem. Not only regarding Ash, but his own health as well.
The amulet worked, to an extent. Elf quickly caught onto the fact that it didn’t really heal him. It stopped the physical symptoms from manifesting, from hindering with the work he still had to do for the Dark Federation. It was a temporary solution, like putting an adhesive bandage on an open fracture. He felt how with every day his body got weaker and weaker. With every passing day he felt the energy drain from his body, like a balloon with a small hole, where air is slowly getting out. Any spells became impossible to make, rituals taking such a heavy toll on his body he passed out a few times.
Most noticeable were the flowers he began to choke on.
At first, he was sure the coughing was simply another consequence of radiation taking over his body. He didn’t bat an eye when the shortness of breath became more prevalent. He was dying anyway and any hopes of finding the cure were crushed a week before. It was just a matter of which symptom would get to him first. What actually caught his attention was coughing up flower pieces, specifically lavender flowers.
He didn’t know what that meant at all.
Ewron, being thrown onto the island like everybody else, didn’t have much memory from what happened before. He knew he’s an elf, a long living species with shapeshifting abilities specifically. From what he manager to gather when talking to his polish friends early on, his spells used to be powerful ones. He also had a library, apparently a family heirloom he shared with his sister. An access to that library could have been crucial to learning what was happening to his body and how to fight it off. Yet, Ewron’s will to fight that specific issue died down when he was with Tina.
Tina noticed, of course she did. She was a gentle soul, sensitive to everything happening around her. She called him out on not telling her everything that’s been happening with him health-wise. And no matter how much Ewron tried to redirect the conversation and change the subject, she would not bugde. She’s simply a caring friend like that. In every other situation Ewron would be so honored to be able to call her his family member.
Hearing her explain what “hanahaki” was made his already barely functioning heart stop working for a second.
Of course she knew what his diagnosis was. Ewron didn’t know what exactly she went through in life, but the recognition that appeared in her eyes when he showed bloody flowers was more than enough for him to know all he needed to. He would be sad for her, if she wasn’t delivering him what was another death sentence.
An illness that manifests itself through growing out flowers in one’s lungs? One that appears when someone is in an unrequited love? So many questions have flooded his mind. Most of which he could not even voice out loud, because–
“Who are you in love with, Ewron?” Tina asked, looking him straight into eyes.
Of course, he knew who he loved. He knew it was about a tall man with glitches on his dark brown skin, like he’s trying to break out of a digital simulation. A man with black and purple hair, whose preferred hairstyle was a long braid. A man who walked into every room like he owned it himself. The Supreme Leader of Regime, one that promised to take down The Federation. An assassin, who promised to kill everyone, take down an entire server with him.
Ash, who, in retrospect, loving was easier than breathing.
Until that moment Ewron did not try to categorise his feelings in any way. He knew they had a greater purpose. He offered his life to the man, with words and with his actions. A man, whose daughter he brought back from amongst the dead, a ritual for which he spent too many hours trying to remember. Ash knew everything about him and Ewron knew everything about him in return. The trust they built throughout these months was, in his personal opinion, unbreakable… Even if their last interactions were tainted by a weird misunderstanding from Ash’s side. The elf was sure he’d reach a mutual understanding if they had a chance to talk. They always did.
In the end, Ewron didn’t respond to Tina. For some reason, he was sure she found an answer she was looking for, as she didn’t ask him again. Instead, she just moved on, telling him how to get rid of the curse– illness. He could either find someone who would perform a surgery to remove all the flowers from his respiratory system (with which all emotions and memories related to his loved one would disappear) or he could confess his feelings and hope the other person reciprocates, which was impossible in current situation.
Both options, in Ewron’s personal opinion, fucking sucked. He was dying anyway, so he might as well go out from being too in love with someone who apparently did not want him back.
After that talk his symptoms started to get worse every day. Or maybe it was a culmination of radiation catching up. He wasn’t sure anymore.
Which brings him to day nineteen without The Supreme Leader. He’s burning up, laying in just his undergarments on top of his bedsheets. He feels physically weak, barely able to lift an arm up for more than few seconds. Tremors go through his body every few minutes. The amulet, still hanging on his neck, is his only anchor in this situation. Despite its origins being in the Nether, it brings him a cooling feeling to the place on his chest where it’s laying. To all of that, he is choking on flowers every know and then. He’s glad he put a bin next to his bed the night before, so he can just spit out the flowers there.
Ewron wonders if this is his end. If that’s how he will go out – on an island away from any civilization, in his small cottage on a hill. On an island, where only his animals will find his decaying corpse. He wonders what will happen after this death. Will anyone notice? Will anyone wonder about his whereabouts? Will anyone check on his animals, dead and alive?
Will anyone break Ash out?
Ewron’s own heart starts to hurt. He turns so that he’s laying on his back and puts an arm over his eyes. He can’t go out like this. It can’t be his end. He can’t die before finding the man. He can’t let the Federation have him in their custody forever. He can’t break the promise he’s given to him.
He starts to wheeze, for nth time this day. After the coughing fit goes away, he puts away the bin and just lays there. Nighttime is coming and with it an escape from reality in a form of sleep. Ewron hopes he wakes up the next day.
-
Ash is back. Ash is back.
Ewron’s physical state is awful, he’s a one step away from passing out on the spot. Only thing that keeps him up is the adrenaline still pulsing through his veins from the stunt they pulled.
Despite it all, he can’t help but feel lighter inside.
He’s sitting on a floor, back resting on Ash’s bed. He, Don and Katie had put the man to sleep, all being concerned about his physical and mental state. Saying he’s in need of proper rest. After trying to talk with Don about how weird their whole escape plan was, he went back over to Ash’s room in the Pantheon.
Partially because he wishes to be around Ash at all times, partially because he is scared his own time will come too soon. He has seen his reflection in the water earlier that that. He also saw the way Ash looked at him, face full of concern, despite what he himself went through… He’s also paranoid. Scared Ash will be taken away once again. Not that he has more fighting capabilities to fight Cucurucho himself, but he can now take Ash away faster than that white bear makes it up the elevator to his room.
Now, that he’s sitting with his back turned to the man, he can listen to his breathing. It’s calming.
What’s surprising is that flowers stopped creeping up his throat. They’re still here, present in Ewron’s body, but he besides occasional wheezing they didn’t show themselves. Not since Ewron saw Ash for the first time again. It makes him wonder…
Why? What is different now?
Nothing has changed. Nothing is different. They got Ash out, but they didn’t have a chance to talk face-to-face. No words were exchanged between them, none that would suggest anything romantic happening between them two. They looked at each other (Ewron tried to ignore the worried stare he kept receiving from time to time), the elf held other man up by his arm so that he didn’t face plant onto the Pantheon’s pavement. That’s it.
Is his mind so delusional that all that was enough for him? Or is it the adrenaline keeping him going, giving him a false sense of security?
Ewron sighs loudly. He feels his heartbeat slow down, body finally catching up that there is no danger around. He turns around a little to see how Ash is doing only to see him sitting up, staring directly into Ewron’s eyes.
“Why–“ Ash starts, voice hoarse. He cleans his throat and tries again. “Why are you on the floor?”
“Well, there aren’t any chairs around,” Ewron looks around the room with ugly décor. Ash doesn’t take the bait like he usually would. “Where else should I be?”
He sees Ash move his head around. The glitches, usually only visible only on a top part of his face, have taken over his entire face and partially hands, which are laying close to Ewron’s face. He wonders what purpose do they serve. While he is busy admiring, Ash starts moving his whole body more to the left side of the bed.
“…come here,” he says, patting the now empty space.
“Why?”
“Lay with me,” Ash moves his head to the side, like he’s embarrassed. Ewron stays quiet for a second too long, because Ash takes it as a rejection. “No, never mind, ignore it,” he says as he lays down, back facing Ewron’s side of the bed.
“No, no, no, no, no,” Ewron says as he stands up, taking his shoes off in the process, “I didn’t say no.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, ‘oh’,” he sits on be bed, only slightly worried about if they’ll fit in that tiny ass bed, “now move your ass or I’ll fall down.”
And he lays down, facing Ash’s back. The other man is laying motionless, like he isn’t even breathing. Ewron makes himself comfortable and wonders what now. It feels awkward, being so silent in one bed. They’re acting like they’re strangers who have no choice but be cramped in a small place instead of two close friends, who just went through hell and back. He swallows the uncomfortable feeling of flowers that are slowly creeping up.
“You’re… cold,” Ewron notices out loud, mostly to distract himself.
“No blood circulation,” Ash replies, his posture now more relaxed.
“Oh, right.”
They stay silent for another moment, after which Ash turns around to face Ewron.
“We’re both…” he starts, voice more quiet than previously, “not doing too good, aren’t we?” Question is laced in worry. Ewron is glad he can’t see the face Ash must be making.
“I’m not the one who was kept in Federation facility,” Ewron tries to match the volume of other man’s voice. Ash snorts.
“Yeah, well. I’m not the one looking as white as the walls,” Ash tries to keep his voice lighthearted and Ewron appreciates it. He’s not up for a heated argument where he has to watch what he’s saying.
Ash moves a bit closer to the elf, and puts his head close to Ewron’s collarbones. He can feel taller man’s breath on his skin, which gives him chills. Just a little.
“You smell nice,” he hears mumbled, “like… like a lavender.”
Ewron stills momentarily. His heartbeat picks up. He is unprepared for this. He didn’t know. He never planned on telling Ash about the flower illness infecting his lungs, specifically seeing the state he came back in. Ash noticing on his own that something is wrong was expected, radiation was getting the worst of him after all. He planned to tell about that and omit the hahanaki or however the name of the illness went.
Ash notices something is wrong, of course he does, and he sits up, leaning on his arm. Ewron feels his heavy gaze on himself.
“What is it?”
Ewron tries to reply. Say something, anything. Yet all that happens is an upcoming cough with a very familiar aftertaste. Within seconds he starts coughing, turning away from Ash. He can explain the cough, he absolutely can not and does not want to explain the lavender flowers that come with it. Ash immediately rushes to help him, patting him on a back slightly.
Luck is clearly not on Ewron’s side, because one of the flowers he coughed out slips out of his hand where he squeezes them all in his fist tightly. Ash looks at it, extremely confused at first. Then an awful sound oh recognition comes out of his throat. Ewron curls into himself, not ready to hear it.
“Hey, hey,” Ash says after a while, you’re–“
“I don’t want to hear it,” he cuts the other off, voice hoarse. Petals still in hand. He feels awfully vunerable. “Let’s just pretend nothing happened.”
“…okay, for today,” replies comes and Ash is moving again. He hugs Ewron close to his chest. He is now a little spoon. The coolness coming off of Ash’s body is soothing for the elf. “Let’s… sleep for now.”
Ewron nods, ready to ignore all of their problems for now. Ready to ignore the entire world actually – the upcoming war, Federation’s breath over their heads, Multi’s crazy reactor, everything. It doesn’t feel important in a place where he feels Ash hold him tight.