Love is a gentle thing

by twoheadedcaIf

Summary:

Yoongi has always had an idea of how he wanted his first time to go, and he figured himself content to wait until then.

Ignoring the fact that he is 33 years old.

However, a conversation taking an unexpected turn has him second-guessing what he really wants, and maybe a change of plans is exactly what he needs.

Notes:

don't ask how this virginity trope one shot managed to get this long, i'm just as confused as you

It’s not necessarily that Yoongi has never had the opportunity.

He knows he’s attractive. It would be impossible for him not to be in his career. He keeps his hair slightly long, just enough to be able to tussle around a bit. People have told him his eyes are just on the right side of striking and intimidating, yet not to a point of being overtly off-putting. He’s aware that his tendency to remain unbothered by the things around him gives him an air of nonchalance that really does it for some people. And yet, here he is, 33 years old and still a virgin.

He’s not even certain why at this point. He has no trouble catching people’s eye, god knows if he outright asked someone, there’s a slim chance that’d be turned down, considering. He’s chatted up countless people, playing around with the idea of it in his head, pocketing numbers and not always turning down a wandering hand.

If anything, he typically has to be the one to pursue these kinds of interactions given that people so rarely approach him. While unintended, he knows his resting state leaves him appearing rather intimidating, so what he gets every time he’s at the club is flirtatious, hopeful glances. Thinking he’s the roughish type that will come to sweep them off their feet.

The few times people do approach him on their own, it’s done by the domineering type. It’s large men with poorly disguised expectations of how this will play out, thinking they can be the one to break past his barriers and show him a good time. While Yoongi can’t deny that having someone make him feel dainty and delicate isn’t… unappealing, the whole approach just isn’t right.

This is the issue he always finds himself coming back to. It’s not like Yoongi thinks sex is some sacred act that must be saved for marriage, or even that it has to be with the completely perfect person, but he can’t help but want his first time to be special in a way. Call him crazy, but maybe Yoongi wants to be taken care of a little, not just getting it over with on some random fuck.

So he pockets numbers, never ending up calling.

He gently turns people down once things start getting a little too heated.

Then he tells himself that it’s simply because of his job. He’s busy. He’s better off just focusing on the work, especially considering there is always more to do. He’d have to be so careful about it anyway, so why bother with the risk?

He’d also love to be able to blame his avoidance on a low libido, writing it off as a lack of care and indifference; but unfortunately, that notion has long since been insufficient. His sex drive operates with the intensity of a category 5 hurricane, yet he resigns himself to a toy every time.

So here he is, 33, a virgin, sitting at a bar alone while the other members are on the dance floor. He looks around aimlessly at the faces of strangers, inwardly resigned. He can make out multiple people that he’d be potentially interested in, yet here he remains.

While on tour, he can almost forget this whole dilemma, pushing it to the back of his mind to focus on the day-to-day bustle. But now that they’re on a brief break back in Korea, he’s perfectly aware that the other members will be taking this opportunity to find their own relief. It makes him ruminate on whether this abstinence is worth it. He wonders if just finding someone and going for it, even if it’s not truly how he wants it to be, would be better than waiting for who knows how many more years of sexual unfulfillment.

“Scouting your options?”

Yoongi whips around to look at the person who managed to slide up on the seat next to him without his notice. When he sees those big, gentle eyes and sweet smile, he almost laughs at himself for managing to be so caught up in thought that Jungkook was able to sneak up on him.

“Seriously?” Yoongi says with a joking amount of flatness. Jungkook laughs him off, leaning in comfortably into Yoongi’s space. Yoongi takes a sip of his whiskey.

“You know? How often do you hook up, actually? I feel like you’re always so busy, hyung,” Jungkook asks in an offhanded manner. The question is obviously a simple, thoughtlessly casual one. He has no reason to think anything of it.

And yet, it makes Yoongi tense up all the same. He never quite knows how to navigate these conversations—deflection, skirting the topic, or just simply not entertaining the conversation.

Or maybe tonight he’s feeling a little more self-pitying than usual, because for some reason, he does none of those.

“Never,” Yoongi says with a feeling of intense finality swirling in his chest, saying it so plainly.

Jungkook laughs. “Oh please, sure,” he teases. Yoongi smiles at Jungkook’s laugh, it’s an impossible sight to not look at fondly. With a pause, Yoongi looks away, choosing to fix his gaze on his drink instead.

“It’s like I said.” He spins the whisky around a little in the glass. “I don’t pick people up.”

“Yoongi, I’ve seen how people practically fall into your lap; you’ve got that whole cool-guy vibe going for you. You know you could take anyone home that you wanted, right?” Jungkook says, now in a more comforting way, seeming to assume insecurity.

“I know.”

Jungkook furrows his brow a little at that, obviously not expecting the response. “Alright then, that’s fair. I can’t say I took you for the bathroom hookup type though,” he jokes. Yoongi can’t help but feel a little amused himself, even if not for the same reason.

“Well, that would be because I’m not, so you assumed right,” he supposes.

He appreciates Jungkook’s presence because he’s sure this line of conversation would have him clamming up in front of nearly anyone else. Jungkook’s playfulness is nice, even if off the mark.

“Picky,” he teases. “I’m not sure what else you do then. How else are you getting sex?”

“I’m not,” he says. Jungkook’s expression turns slightly concerned, bless him.

“For how long?” he asks, then continues before Yoongi can respond. “You know, you really should be taking care of yourself more, taking more breaks. You’re going to work yourself into an early grave,” Jungkook goes on, impassioned.

Yoongi raises his eyebrows at the scolding, but doesn’t comment on it when he can’t help but find the concern to be sweet.

“Ever, Jungkook. I haven’t ever,” Yoongi answers bluntly.

At this, Jungkook looks visibly taken aback.

“Wait, you—”

“Yes.”

“What?” Jungkook adds, evidently bewildered. Yoongi can’t help but find the obviously dumbfounded look on Jungkook’s face to be incredibly amusing, despite the circumstances.

“Whatever you’re thinking, yes, that,” Yoongi says succinctly.

He doesn’t feel shame, but now that he’s outright confirming this to Jungkook, he can’t help but feel awkward, maybe a little meek.

Seeing this, Jungkook quickly reorients himself from his shock, seeming surprisingly guilty now. “Wait, I’m sorry, if you’re asexual or something I didn’t mean—”

“I’m not.” He cuts Jungkook off.

Now, Jungkook just stares at him, seemingly genuinely confused.

“So you can take anyone home you want,” Jungkook says slowly. “And it’s not that you’re not interested, but…” he trails off, a prompt.

Yoongi purses his lips a little, not sure how he wants to proceed from here. He knows Jungkook is being harmless in his search for some explanation, if anything he just seems concerned.

Yoongi must have taken too long because that undercurrent of concern seems to be taking center stage as Jungkook goes on. “Hyung,” he starts gently, “did something happen?” he asks, giving him gentle eyes. God, he really is just all eyes. Big, lovely, drownable eyes.

“Wait, what?” Yoongi tunes back into the conversation, what Jungkook was saying only now processing. “Oh, no no,” he waves off, “nothing like that. Nothing happened to me to make me… yeah.”

Jungkook visibly sags in relief.

Yoongi can feel the nature of this conversation starting to get to him. As much as he tries to feign nonchalance, that it’s not a big deal, he can’t help but feel the need to curl in on himself, shyness giving way to a need to recluse. Unfortunately, his now-visible shyness is giving him away, which means it’s unlikely Jungkook will be dropping this now that he knows Yoongi does, in fact, care.

“Am I missing something then? I want to understand, but I just don’t get it, hyung. Is there a reason you’re choosing to stay a-” he stumbles on himself, clearly not wanting to say the word, like it’ll somehow insult him. “You know,” he trails off.

Almost involuntarily, Yoongi groans. The strain this conversation is having on his psyche is going to be taking years off his life.

Jungkook seems to take Yoongi’s lack of response as a cue to continue. “You know, if you are just waiting until you’re married or something, you can just say that? Tell me to fuck off? I won’t judge you, I could never,” Jungkook says, all earnest and heartfelt. Yoongi can’t tell if how sweet he’s being about this is making Yoongi feel better or worse.

“I’m not—” he cuts himself off. “Actually, never mind. I am not talking about this here. I think I value my dignity.” Yoongi goes to take another sip of his whiskey, only to find the glass empty.

Yoongi is just starting to raise his hand to try to get the attention of the bartender for another drink, God knows he needs it, when Jungkook puts his hand on Yoongi’s and gently pushes his hand back down before he can manage it.

Yoongi looks at him, confused.

Jungkook’s hand is still resting on his and Yoongi can’t help but notice how the warmth of it envelops his naturally cold hand. It requires a herculean amount of effort to focus on anything else, but he does, because Jungkook is looking at him with pressed lips and a thoughtful face.

“Then let’s go,” Jungkook eventually says. “Come to my place, we can talk some more,” he offers.

While he doesn’t phrase it as a question, Yoongi can see it in his eyes, in the furrowed brows. Jungkook doesn’t seem to want to push, but Yoongi knows him well enough by now to understand that he doesn’t want to drop the subject either, not after he’s picked up on the importance of it to Yoongi.

Yoongi has kept this to himself for so long, harbored his confliction for years. Even though he feels an overwhelming urge to hide from this conversation and never bring it up again, there’s also… relief. Letting go. Staring at Jungkook, searching, he finds only pure intentions. Jungkook runs his thumb minutely across his hand, and Yoongi is helplessly endeared, lulled into a comfort through his presence.

And so, despite his better judgement, he breathes out an, “Okay.” Jungkook squeezes his hand before letting go with a nod and a smile.

“Let me go tell Namjoon we’re heading out, I was thinking about calling it a night anyway so this works out,” Jungkook says, carrying on as normal.

Yoongi smiles to himself, knowing Jungkook was only trying not to make Yoongi feel guilty about them leaving early. If anything, Jungkook had likely been planning to pick someone up himself.

Always so thoughtful.

“We’re going to your place, right?” Yoongi asks. Jungkook nods. “Let’s take your car then. But here, take my keys,” Yoongi says while shuffling around his pockets for his car keys before handing them over to Jungkook. “Give these to Joon-ah. We didn’t take enough cars here for each of us to drive to yours so he can just take my car,” Yoongi says, thinking of the other members. When they go out like this, they always try to condense into as few vehicles as possible, less designated drivers in that case.

“Oh, yeah, right. I didn’t think about that,” Jungkook laughs off. “Meet me by my car then? I’ll be right out,” he says.

“Yeah, let me just close my tab.”

The normalcy of the interaction helps. If he thinks too much about the conversation they’ll be having soon, he’ll work himself up into a stupor. Hell, he feels halfway there already.

“I’ll see you in a bit,” Yoongi finishes, and Jungkook nods.

And that’s what he does. Going through the motions, he closes his tab, leaves the club, then walks to Jungkook’s car. He decides not to say bye to the members, figuring that Jungkook letting them know counts as the courtesy of not simply disappearing. With his mind running wild, he can’t quite bring himself to handle a single potential question they’d ask.

He leans against the car door as he waits, hands in his pockets under the slight chill of night. He can feel the anxiety settling in now, the reality of what he’s walked himself into registering more clearly in Jungkook’s absence.

He’s a little baffled with himself. He’s never talked about this with anyone else before, and he can’t really say what brought him to drop the virginity bomb now. Maybe he was overdue in getting this off his chest, or maybe it’s just Jungkook. He always did have a way of slipping past his defences; maybe he shouldn’t be surprised at all.

He sees Jungkook come up to the car, pace shifting to a slight jog when he spots Yoongi. “Hi, hi, sorry to make you wait, they wouldn’t stop asking questions, you know how it is,” Jungkook explains with a smile as he goes around to the driver door. Yoongi does know, and he feels thankful for his decision to avoid that interaction altogether.

The drive is quiet. In any other context, it’d be peaceful. Jungkook is unusually quiet as well, but Yoongi can gather that he likely thinks he’s doing Yoongi a favor, letting him keep to himself. It’s usually what he needs, but something about this particular situation has him feeling vulnerable.

The quiet settles in his stomach like a weight, twisting his gut.

They get out and Jungkook enters the code to his gate, Yoongi shifting his weight behind him, waiting. They walk through the entrance, Jungkook holding the door open for Yoongi. They’re still quiet, but Jungkook has been giving him gentle smiles and looking at him with warm eyes, comforting, but glancing at him more than usual. It’s like he’s trying to gauge how Yoongi is feeling through studying his every move.

Yoongi feels the eyes on him like a physical touch. It’s overwhelming.

“Here, you go sit on the couch and I’ll be right with you,” Jungkook says, finally breaking the silence.

Yoongi takes a deep breath, trying to be subtle in his attempt to steady himself. He nods, fake casual, making his way through Jungkook’s dark home decor into the living room before settling into the couch. It’s like he suddenly doesn’t know what to do with himself, feeling more out of his element than he has in years.

Luckily, he doesn’t have to wait long before Jungkook comes walking in, two glasses of water in hand.

“I know you drank a bit, so I figured maybe you’d like some water?” Jungkook says like he feels the need to explain himself. It’s something so explicitly Jungkook that Yoongi feels a bit of the anxiety in him settle.

He got into this situation not by happenstance, he knows, it’s Jungkook. He’s sweet, he’s attentive, and Yoongi is helplessly fond.

“Thank you,” Yoongi says, sounding more earnest than is warranted for the small gesture, but it feels bigger to him.

“Of course,” Jungkook sits next to Yoongi on the couch. He sets the glasses down on the coffee table in front of them, scooting one of the glasses until it’s within Yoongi’s reach, then settles into the couch fully. He’s turned inwards, towards Yoongi, resting his elbow on the back of the couch, his head resting on his hand as he gives Yoongi his full, undivided attention. “Alright, hyung, talk to me.”

“Not much to say about it,” Yoongi says briskly, trying to brush it off. He may have gotten all the way here, but that doesn’t erase the awkwardness this topic inherently brings out in him.

“Yoongi,” he pauses, “it’s me. I know I’m your dongsaeng, but you know I’m here for you. That I’d never judge you.”

Yoongi sighs, settling in a little more himself, angling towards Jungkook in return as he mentally prepares for this conversation. “Maybe I'm fine with being on my own.”

“Are you?” Jungkook questions with a raised brow, genuine yet skeptical.

Yoongi doesn’t respond, not knowing how to, but his lack of response tells more than he’d like.

“I have to admit it, you really do have me stumped,” Jungkook remarks. “I mean it when I say you could get anyone you wanted. You’re pretty and you have your whole cool, silently brooding vibe going on,” Jungkook says in a tone that mixes a slight edge of teasing but a little more honesty than Yoongi feels ready for.

Yoongi has to fight down a blush at Jungkook unexpectedly calling him pretty. So overtly, like it’s obvious, but the description of his character is amusing enough to distract him from focusing on it too hard.

“Maybe I don’t want it to be just anyone,” he replies, avoiding eye contact.

When he pictures his first time, he can’t help but want it to be more than some awkward fumble, only focusing on the physical sensations: horny then satiated, a meaningless exchange of need and fulfillment. Maybe he’s being overly naive, but Yoongi wants it to be more. He wants to feel cared for.

Now that he’s having to actually tell someone this for the first time, he’s starting to wonder if maybe he is being ridiculous. People talk all the time about messy first times and laugh it off, saying it gets better. Yet, Yoongi does think it’s possible. Possible that losing his virginity could be an experience he could enjoy looking back on, that it could be something soft, something beautiful, warm.

Maybe he is ashamed to say it out loud. With a sense of embarrassment rising in him at a steady rate, he chances a glance back to Jungkook.

What Yoongi doesn’t expect to see is the obviously affectionate smile that has taken over Jungkook’s face. “I didn’t realize you’d be so sweet about it,” Jungkook says. From anyone else, it would sound like a teasing statement, mildly insulting even, but when Jungkook says it to him now, all he can hear is a mild hint of surprise, even endearment.

“Shut up,” Yoongi deflects, trying not to give off that he’s flustered. “Is that so wrong?”

“No, of course not,” his tone immediately turns to reassuring. “I think waiting for the right person is a good idea, to make it a good experience. I know the rest of the group doesn’t see sex as much of a big deal, but that doesn’t matter. You should do what’s right for you.”

Yoongi laughs a little quietly, a little thrown by the fact that he’s having a conversation with Jungkook about preserving his virginity. Honestly, the bizarreness of the situation is starting to hit him more and more. Jungkook has always been a comforting presence for him, he’s helplessly fond over his playful antics. He’s so gentlehearted, always wearing his heart on his sleeve, Yoongi has always felt a need to protect him.

And yet, here they are, Yoongi opening up in a way that feels like a freefall, an overwhelmingly exposed feeling, completely relying on the trust they’ve built that Jungkook will catch him. He feels skittish, but more than anything else, it’s just surreal.

But to hell with it, he’s gotten this far. There’s no point in trying to avoid the topic now.

“It’s not really about the right person, honestly,” Yoongi says.

This seems to confuse Jungkook. “Then what?” he questions, his head tilting further into his hand with a furrowed brow. He almost looks like a puppy.

Yoongi hesitates to answer, even knowing that the longer he stays silent the more obvious it is that he’s embarrassed. “It’s not that I think sex always needs to be special or that it should only be reserved as the peak of intimacy between two people that love each other. I don’t condemn casual sex, I just don’t think it’s for me. It doesn’t need to be special, but maybe I want something more?” he trails off, feeling self-conscious. “I don’t know,” he adds, giving in to his urge to avoid explaining through vagueness.

“More, what?” he says, because of course he wouldn’t let that go.

Resigned, Yoongi trudges on, “I just don’t want my first time to be some kind of fuck and dump thing. I know that’s crude, but I know any one-night stand I could have would just be impersonal, probably rushed too. So, yeah, I guess I do want it to be something.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that,” he says, his eyes conveying a kind of safety and comfort that Yoongi latches onto, needing the assurance. The anchor. “And you deserve that too,” he says with a firm tone, it makes Yoongi smile, feeling soft. “Who gives a fuck what anyone thinks honestly. There isn’t any rush.”

“So you think I should keep waiting.”

“I mean, that’s what you want, right?”

Yoongi pauses. “I think I’m tired of waiting,” he says quietly after a few loaded moments of silence.

Jungkook tilts his head back and forth, considering. “So maybe you start looking at options? It’s your choice, but if it is something that you want, you may need to take the initiative,” he says. “What about that friend from Daegu? You two seem close, I think he’d probably help you out.”

“I actually did consider that at one point, but I just think it would be too weird.”

“Hm,” he considers. “Anyone else you’re close with?”

“Not really,” Yoongi laughs. “You know how it is, I’m basically only close with you guys.”

“Anyone you’ve got your eye on?” Jungkook teases, wiggling his eyebrows with exaggeration.

It’s an obvious joke, but he still finds himself caught off guard. He tries to hide how flustered this makes him, but he can’t help but give in to the need to avert his eyes, maintaining any kind of eye contact feels too telling.

“I don’t think any of you would go for that even if I wanted to,” Yoongi says quietly, a level of honesty that shifts the mood of the conversation.

He knows that his facade of neutrality towards the topic is fading, exposing how insecure he feels. It’s embarrassing, but he tries to remind himself this is just Jungkook.

“Wait, why not?” Jungkook seems genuinely confused.

“I mean, the whole virgin thing…” he trails off. “Kinda a lot of pressure. Especially knowing this is someone you spend practically every day with,” he shrugs.

“I don’t know,” Jungkook starts, seeming to be more thoughtful about the hypothetical now that they’re discussing it. Yoongi thinks he can see some concern in his expression, but Jungkook doesn’t acknowledge it. “I think it fits what you’re wanting actually. We all care about you and would want to help you, so it wouldn’t be impersonal, and you’d be able to be with someone experienced.”

“Oh so you’re experienced,” he drags out the last word in a teasing way. “Humble brag.”

“You know what I mean,” Jungkook laughs. “But I get that it’s too weird for you.”

“It’s not really about that,” Yoongi corrects. “I’m not against it on principle. It’s just? I don’t know,” and maybe he doesn’t. His head feels like a mess right now, nothing feeling clear, completely unprepared for the direction this conversation has taken.

“It’s alright, hyung,” he assures. “I’m not offended that you want to put your trust in someone you feel closer to. I don’t mean to pressure you into getting with anyone, I promise.”

“That’s not what I meant, I’d sleep with you,” Yoongi says, freezing the second those words leave his mouth.

It slipped out before he could even entirely realize the implications. The full version of that statement would be 'I'd sleep with you if I were a virgin looking for somebody knowledgeable who'd treat me right.' But isn’t that exactly what he is?

“Do you want that?” he asks, expression carefully neutral, which in itself is an immediate tell that there’s more going on beneath the surface. The gentle, comforting look Jungkook has been giving him this whole conversation has now turned into an intense, almost imploring gaze. His eyes have always spoken for him more than his words.

Yoongi could lie. Say something sarcastic and laugh it off.

But in truth, the idea is rapidly gaining favor in his mind, the 'good' side of the scale multiplying in mass by the millisecond while the 'bad' side remains an ineffectual paperweight. He’s never considered Jungkook in this way, but he’s never been in a situation where he had to either. But, here he is, thinking about it.

In theory, Jungkook ticks all his boxes, both mental (there’s already plenty of trust there, and he knows Jungkook cares about him) and physical. Because he’s not blind. As much as he’s only ever viewed Jungkook under a platonic lens, it would be impossible to not take notice of how much Jungkook has grown into himself. His body honed from his strength, solid and toned, tattoos lining his body in intricately beautiful designs. His strong facial features combine to create the Adonis of a man that sits in front of him. He’s hot, there’s no question about that.

But that wasn't the question.

Does he want to sleep with Jungkook?

He knows better than to fling himself forward into anything that simply seems like a good idea, and yet—a shock to himself as this truth settles in him—he's pretty sure he does want it.

Yoongi shrugs, playing off his racing heart. "Is that something you'd..." Something he'd want? Something he'd like? Something he'd be willing to do?

"I'm asking what you want." His tone gives nothing away, which is uniquely tortuous.

As much as he appreciates how Jungkook is trying to give Yoongi the control in this situation, he wishes that he’d be less selfless for just a moment. Allow Yoongi to see what’s going on in his head.

"Would you do it? If I asked?"

For a moment the room is quiet enough to hear a pin drop, the silence feeling like a physical presence. Jungkook just breathes, his intense eye contact breaking as he looks to the ceiling, then:

"If you asked, I'd say yes."

And there it is.

The shock runs through Yoongi like a hit to the chest.

He’s not sure what he was expecting from all of this, but in all the potential directions he could fathom this conversation going in, this was not on the list. He never even considered it an option, Jungkook’s acceptance makes his mind reel as he reorients to take in this new information. But here he is, and the longer he sits with it, looking at him, the better the idea settles in him.

"I guess I'm asking,” he says, the words feeling monumental.

"You guess?" He sees the question for what it is, an offer to back out, to drop this and forget about it. Because he knows Jungkook would, caring and sweet, if Yoongi wanted to play this off as a misstep that he didn’t mean, he knows Jungkook would be endlessly kind about it. It would be an easy out.

But Yoongi doesn’t want that, not now that the idea has taken root.

"I'm asking."

In the silence that follows, Yoongi feels a wave of embarrassment wash him, like he's exposed himself. He feels almost stupid.

He knows there's no reason for it. Jungkook hasn't been judgemental about anything; it had been a frank discussion about sex, Jungkook only seeming to want to help. There’s nothing more to it, and this was just a logical possible solution to Yoongi’s dilemma.

That's all.

But it still feels a little like he's vomited out his soul for Jungkook, leaving it open on the table for scrutiny.

"Are you sure?" Jungkook asks. He sounds incredulous more than anything else.

Yoongi pauses, lingering in his glance at Jungkook as he searches across his face.

“Yeah,” he says, the one word feeling loaded with finality. A word that changes everything.

Jungkook lets out a breath. “Alright,” he says, seeming to be gathering himself. “Okay, um, what have you done before?”

Yoongi feels stumped for a moment, not expecting to move past the gravity of this shift so quickly; it feels abrupt.

“Nothing,” he says, trying to keep pace. And unfortunately, it’s true.

“Nothing at all?” he can tell Jungkook is trying to keep the surprise off his face, but he’s always been an open book.

“I guess kissing, but that’s it,” he says, memories of heated kisses that always lead to nothing flicker through his mind. He looks away again.

“Hey, don’t hide from me, please. You have nothing to be embarrassed about, not with me.”

Yoongi nods, genuinely appreciative of how gently Jungkook is treating him, even if it’s a little embarrassing. He mentally grips onto the comfort, using it like a lifeline as his mind whirls.

Yoongi tries to meet his face again only to find Jungkook to be overtly studying him. He looks away again under the intensity. He knows the way he’s not-so-subtly curled in on himself, feeling helplessly shy, has painted a telling picture of where he’s at right now.

“You need to relax,” Jungkook seems to settle on. “What can I do?”

“I don’t know,” he shrugs. “It’s not like I’ve been in this situation before,” he says, feeling bared open. He crosses his arms over himself, like that’ll somehow protect him.

“And you’re sure you want this?” Jungkook asks again, clarifying.

It makes sense considering how reclusive Yoongi has become, of course Jungkook would double check. But for all the anxieties wreaking havoc on his mind right now, they have not dissuaded him. He wants this, as much as it shocks him, but he does.

“I’m sure, Jungkook.”

Jungkook nods, then seems to ponder for a moment.

Still looking away, Yoongi feels himself jump slightly when a gentle hand comes up to his face, gently tucking some hair behind his ear. Suddenly, with his eyes back on Jungkook, it’s as if Yoongi is glued to his face. He couldn’t look away now even if he tried, not when he sees Jungkook’s intent expression, comfort in his eyes. Inexplicably, Yoongi almost feels the need to cry.

Jungkook is so gentle with him. He doesn’t think he’s ever quite been like this before. For all their closeness, their dynamic has always been that he takes care of Jungkook, comforting him, giving him advice, helping him however he can. Yes, in part because he’s the hyung, but so much of it is just because it’s Jungkook.

Now, with the tables turned, he can appreciate that the reason he can fall so easily into his comforting presence is because of the strong foundation of trust their relationship has built over the years. Yoongi would never hurt Jungkook, wouldn’t even dream of it, and he knows with a certainty that runs through his bones that Jungkook feels the same.

Jungkook runs a soft thumb across his cheek, Yoongi allows himself to relish in the feeling.

“Close your eyes.”

Yoongi looks at him, his soft eyes, and makes the decision to let go. Like he’s laying his heart on the line, he puts his trust in Jungkook, and he closes his eyes.

He hears shifting, and moments later there are lips pressing against his.

Tension seems to drain out of him, a breath leaving him almost involuntarily. Kissing is good; kissing, he can handle. Maybe he doesn't have a ton of practice, but he at least knows what feels good.

He kisses back, tilting his head just a little. This may be the only point in the night where he has any idea what to do; he's not letting it go to waste.

Jungkook’s lips are soft, dizzyingly plush as they press against his again, more insistently, opened just enough to feel warm. He leads, and Yoongi lets himself relax into it as the kisses blend together until it’s just their mouths moving against one another.

It feels good, almost unexpectedly so. It’s not that he thought Jungkook would be bad necessarily, but having only just started considering Jungkook in this way, he hadn’t really considered how good it would feel. Because, yeah, he admits it, he’s taken off guard by the skillful way he tilts and presses, just how amazing his mouth feels against his.

Of course Jungkook is good, his skills knowing no bounds, it’s ridiculously fitting.

Jungkook kisses like he acts: playful in the way he gently nips at Yoongi’s lips and shifts the tempo at his whim, and entirely devoted. Kissing Jungkook feels all-consuming, the longer it goes on, the fuzzier his mind becomes. There’s no space in his head left for anything else other than the feeling of Jungkook’s mouth moving against his, warmth cascading through his body in waves.

Yoongi sucks Jungkook’s bottom lip into his mouth and scrapes his teeth along it, nibbling at the piercing on his lip, trying to give as good as he’s getting. The soft sigh he gets in return suddenly has him too aware of the distance between them, the slightly awkward reach.

He suddenly feels too aware of his hands. Normally he's pressed close to someone while they're doing this and he's either holding them or stroking their hair or at least touching them somewhere else besides their lips.

His focus is drawn back when Jungkook’s tongue licks along his lip. He opens his mouth and gets a vague taste of maybe some kind of beer, but mostly just the taste of something uniquely Jungkook. Yoongi’s hand goes almost instinctively to cup Jungkook’s face, as if holding him there to better chase after that taste.

He's not used to doing this with the purpose of it leading somewhere, or with someone so sure of themselves. There's none of the lazy contentment in this kiss, every exploratory lick and nip feeling like intention.

On the one hand, he's glad Jungkook is leading because all he has to do is follow and let himself enjoy it, but on the other hand...

He's not used to being led, and it’s doing something to him.

Breaking the kiss for a moment, Jungkook keeps heavy eye contact with him that feels completely charged with tension. He moves to tug on Yoongi’s leg, and Yoongi lets him do it. Jungkook gently maneuvers Yoongi until his knees are on both sides of Jungkook’s, carefully straddling his lap. There's still space between them, but his arms are now draped over Jungkook’s shoulders as their mouths meet again, Jungkook’s hands settling on his back, holding him with care, not yet pulling him close, considerate.

He can feel the warmth through his shirt, and he's not sure if he's imagining how little he feels. He's not that small of a guy, but Jungkook’s hands seem to span his entire back, and sitting there in his lap, heart pounding as he lets Jungkook explore his mouth, Yoongi feels downright petite.

And when Jungkook’s mouth leaves his to skim over his neck instead? Yoongi can’t even stop the embarrassingly breathy whine that leaves him. He can feel those lips form a small smile against his neck, Yoongi almost wants to say something about it, but the thought is lost to him as kisses are pressed onto his skin.

Feeling almost frantic with it, he moves his hands from Jungkook’s neck to twine his fingers through his hair, tilting his head back and sighing as his lips continue to trail along his skin, pausing to suck and gently bite. Those fingers tighten when Jungkook drags the tip of his tongue in a line straight up the middle of his neck, Yoongi gasping at the spike of heat it sends straight to his gut.

Lips leave wet kisses along his jaw, hands slipping under his shirt and up his back—soft, large, warm. Yoongi finds Jungkook’s mouth again, kissing him hard, biting down on his lip, and he feels the way Jungkook’s hands tighten before he abruptly pulls away.

“Okay wait, we should talk about this,” Jungkook breaks away, sounding breathless.

The confused noise Yoongi makes would have him blushing if he wasn’t feeling so jarred by the sudden change in tempo.

Yoongi doesn’t answer verbally though, just gives him a look as if to say‘Well? Go on’.

Jungkook looks at his face, swallows. Yoongi probably looks debauched, but he trudges on. “What are you wanting exactly?” he asks.

Yoongi blinks. His neck still feels pleasantly tingly, and it’s distracting. He has to reorient himself into the conversation to answer him.

“Um, sex? I thought that was established?”

“That could mean a lot though,” he says, his hands still on Yoongi’s back, now rubbing slightly. God, it’s so hard to focus. “Blowjobs? Just getting each other off? Fucking? I need to know what you’re thinking of when you say sex.”

Well, that’s certainly a way to get him focusing on the conversation.

The longer Jungkook talks—low in a way meant to soothe, but just ends up sounding hot—the more helplessly flustered Yoongi feels. He’s almost in awe of how much his mere words affect him, feeling the effect of them sending sparks zipping through his spine. He tries not to show how much it’s getting to him, but he’s certain Jungkook can feel the way he clenches his thighs on both sides of his legs.

“All of that, I guess, but um, fucking is what I mean.”

“Do you want to top or bottom?”

‘Oh’, he thinks internally, realizing he hadn't considered there being options. Which, maybe that was silly of him, but at this point he can internally concede to how one-track-minded he is at the moment.

“I kind of assumed you’d top?” he admits.

Jungkook smiles, looking fond. “And that’s what you’d want? What you’d prefer?”

He thinks of Jungkook above him, fucking him, and the picture shoots off another spark of arousal that goes straight to his groin.

“Yeah,” he says with an embarrassing amount of breathiness, still picturing it.

Jungkook moves one of his hands away from his back, cold replacing the spot where the warmth of his hand had once laid, and takes it out from under Yoongi’s shirt. He gently lifts it to place his hand on Yoongi’s cheek again, cradling, a thumb gently moving across his cheek. It’s so soft, sweet, almost cherishing, and such a different pace from before. Yoongi can physically feel himself melt into the touch.

He’s past silent, wordless relishing now. All he wants is more of Jungkook’s touch, so he fully leans into the hand, not hiding how much he needs it. The wordless display seems to spur something in Jungkook, his other hand coming up to meet the other side of his face, now cradling it with both hands.

“Hyung, this is important,” he starts, getting his attention but never stopping the gentle caress of his thumbs across his cheeks. “I need you to talk to me through this, okay? I want you to do whatever feels good, but you have to tell me if you want something, and you need to tell me if you don’t want or like something. I want this to be good for you, but this will only work if you’re honest with me.”

“Okay,” Yoongi says, breathily.

“Okay?”

“Okay, yeah, I promise,” Yoongi repeats more firmly.

It seems to satisfy Jungkook, his hands moving down to his neck instead, but still caressing. It’s maddening.

“What do you want right now?” Jungkook asks.

Simple, innocent really, out of context at least. And yet, he can feel the way he clams up, the pressure of the question feeling like too much.

“I don’t really know what I’m doing Jungkook,” he admits, it sounds more pleading than he intended. “I just—it’s new for me, okay? I don’t know what to do.” There’s a palpable insecurity in his tone that he can’t disguise; self-consciousness rises in his chest at the open display.

“Hey hey shh, it’s alright. I’m not asking for you to dirty talk to me, hyung,” he pauses, “I mean, I wouldn’t be opposed,” he tilts his head with a tease, and it does lighten something in Yoongi. “But don’t overthink it. Just, right now,” one hand moves down from his neck to stroke his thigh. “What do you want?” he asks again.

It’s the culmination of it all. How clearly Jungkook cares for him. How he questioned Yoongi about his virginity not out of mere curiosity, but because he was concerned for him. How he didn’t hesitate to help Yoongi once he knew how, knew that it was something Yoongi wanted. That kiss. Yoongi may not know what he’s doing, but he does know what he wants.

“Kiss me, Jungkook. Kiss me and I’ll figure it out as we go.”

There’s no hesitation, the words set Jungkook off in an unexpected display of want; his mouth is on his in an instant. The heat returns rapidly, a wildfire in Yoongi’s chest before Jungkook murmurs against his lips, "Tell me if anything's too fast."

Yoongi hums an affirmation, eager to get back to being kissed senseless, but fumbles a bit when one of the hands on his back slides toward the front—he almost thinks Jungkook's going to reach for his cock already, not feeling at all prepared for that development to happen so quickly, but instead his fingers move up and gently pinch a nipple, and Yoongi’s lips just barely leave Jungkook’s as he moans. He feels his body flood with tingles in a way he’s never experienced before, the fingers he still has in Jungkook’s hair clench involuntarily.

“Fuck,” Jungkook exhales, almost thoughtlessly, eyebrows furrowed.

“What?” Yoongi asks, barely managing to stop himself from pleading for Jungkook to go back to whatever he was doing.

“Nothing, I just—” he cuts himself off. “You’re beautiful,” the words leave him like they’re an epiphany. His eyes flit across Yoongi’s surely wrecked face like he’s taking him in.

And somehow, out of every word that has been shared between them, this one hits Yoongi the hardest.

“Touch me, please.” It’s all he can say, not knowing how else to respond to such a declaration, but it seems to be enough to start Jungkook moving again.

Jungkook’s mouth is back on his while his hand goes back to Yoongi’s nipple. Yoongi tries to keep up with Jungkook’s smooth mouth moving against him, but he’s only barely able to react, too focused on the feeling of his nipples being rolled and tugged and softly pinched, first one, then the other, and back again.

“Doing so well,” Jungkook whispers against his mouth, Yoongi whines a little in response. He’s never felt more desperate in his life, and he doesn’t even know what he’s desperate for.

The whine seems to spur Jungkook, pulling away from his mouth to lift up Yoongi's shirt, forcing him to finally let go of his hair as he raises his arms to let it be tugged off and tossed to the side.

One hand spreads over his stomach, caressing lightly before settling on his hip. Jungkook nips along his collarbone, leaving a trail of wet heat beneath his skin. He's not biting or sucking nearly hard enough to leave a mark, he knows that’s for the best, but Yoongi can hardly contain the urge to tell him to do it anyways, that he wants it.

Yoongi is just about to give in and tell him it's okay, that he'd like it, when Jungkook dips lower and his mouth latches on to a nipple. Yoongi’s hands are instantly back in his dark hair again, fingers curling as he hisses in pleasure.

The room feels like it's heating up as Jungkook sucks on his chest, flitting his tongue quickly over each nipple. He lifts his mouth to blow on one, and the cold breath against the wet bud makes Yoongi squirm in his lap. Jungkook’s lips are back on him, alternating, biting down just enough to draw helpless noises from Yoongi even as he cradles Jungkook’s head closer to his chest.

The hands on his hips pull him forward and he gasps when his cock presses against Jungkook's stomach. He hadn't realized just how achingly hard he is, and the sudden pressure has him panting as Jungkook moves his mouth up his neck again.

He's hyper-aware of the thumbs rubbing his hip bones, the teeth scraping over his earlobe—he feels like he's only barely hanging on, and he restrains himself from just humping against Jungkook until he's finished. Driven forward by pure need, Yoongi can’t help himself as he tightens his thighs around Jungkook's lap and rolls his hips forward.

The low moan that comes from Jungkook sends as much of a shudder through him as the friction against his cock.

A sudden deep kiss, tongue licking into his mouth, and hands sliding over his ass, it feels like a tease the way he rubs there for a moment before they move lower, under his thighs, then Jungkook is standing up, lifting him easily.

Fuck, that’s hot.

Yoongi locks his ankles together, pressing his face into Jungkook’s neck as they make the short walk to his bedroom. The way Jungkook moves his thumb across Yoongi’s thighs as he carries him has a mix of arousal and a fuzzy warmth curling in his stomach. He feels hot with it, almost cherished. Wanting to return the gesture in some way, Yoongi begins pressing small kisses on his neck where his head is still buried, feeling the hands supporting him subtly grip tighter as he moves through the hallway.

Jungkook lays him down on the bedding and is kissing him again without even bothering to move his hands from Yoongi's thighs, so he keeps them crossed around his waist, blissful in the way Jungkook hangs over him as they kiss. Feeling covered and enveloped, the way Jungkook boxes him in with his arms braced on either side of Yoongi feels transcendent.

Wanting, needing to be closer, Yoongi tugs at Jungkook's shirt, trying to free his legs until Jungkook relents and sets him down completely before sitting up to remove his shirt, and Yoongi lets himself stare.

He’s seen Jungkook shirtless before, of course he has, but something about the context of the situation has shifted his perspective entirely. The silver chain hanging around his neck, emphasizing his pecs and collar bones; the intricate designs of his tattoos that highlight his toned arms; his wide shoulders that leads an alluring line down to his inexplicably small waist; the tight muscles of his stomach moving with his heavy breath. Yoongi feels like the air has been punched out of him as he eyes the display.

Silently mesmerized, Yoongi reaches out to touch, needing to feel him for himself. He watches Jungkook shudder as his fingers tentatively brush against the lines of his waist, stomach, but it’s as he watches the glide of his own hand against Jungkook’s skin that he looks down, that he notices the bulge.

Jungkook is hard.

It feels like a mind fuck. It’s one thing to know Jungkook wants to do this, to help him, but it’s another thing entirely to see the proof of this affecting him. That he wants his. That he’s the one that’s made Jungkook hard, and he’s barely done a thing.

He quickly lifts his gaze back up to Jungkook’s, only to find his pupils completely blown wide as he looks down at Yoongi lying beneath him.

This is a first, to say the least. Jungkook has never looked at him like this. There has never been even a trace of lust in Jungkook’s eyes when he looks at Yoongi. Jungkook scans Yoongi’s body and face like he wants to downright devour him, and seeing the proof of his undeniable want along with his hard cock feels unreal.

They’re in this now, entirely.

Yoongi is surprised by how much that doesn’t scare him. He isn’t scared, but he can’t stop the way his heart rate picks up.

“You alright?” Jungkook checks in, evidently having noticed the wide-eyed look Yoongi had been aiming at his pants.

“Yes,” he says, but he can’t deny the way his heart is pounding in his chest. He wants this, he knows he does, but the years of anticipation coming to fruition is getting to him, and he’s helpless to the way his nerves crawl like a vice to his throat.

Jungkook smiles comfortingly at Yoongi in response, then leans down again. The way he gently pecks Yoongi on the lips before moving only slightly lower, nuzzling his neck just beneath his jaw, makes Yoongi sure that Jungkook knows. That he understands. Because of course he does.

Seeing that smile that feels so intrinsically Jungkook seems to ground Yoongi in a way. The way his heart swells with fondness is familiar to him, a needed feeling in contrast to how unfamiliar the rest of this is. Reminding himself that this is Jungkook, lovely and sweet Jungkook, allows a soothing warmth to settle in him.

Jungkook is still lingering by his face, pressing gentle kisses against his neck. Yoongi breathes out, settling further into the bed as he reaches up to cradle Jungkook’s head against him, threading his fingers through his hair, holding.

Feeling Yoongi relax beneath his ministrations seems to be exactly what he was waiting for, because as he does, Jungkook slowly begins trailing lower. Yoongi keeps his fingers in Jungkook’s hair as he presses kisses against his skin. He trails his collarbones, brushes over his nipples again, and kisses his stomach with a paired caress. Jungkook’s silver chain trails after him, the cold slightly dragging across Yoongi’s skin as he moves over his body in an alluring display, it sends a shiver down his spine.

This is exactly what Yoongi has always pictured for his first time, it almost feels too good to be true. Every touch, every gaze, and every word feels adoring, the trust and care a palpable presence in his every action, and Yoongi feels it. For all his waiting, Jungkook had been there, and he had no idea how perfect this would be.

“Jungkook…” he trails off, wanting his attention but still basking in the gentle caresses.

“What is it, love?” Jungkook asks, tilting up from Yoongi’s stomach.

The pet name comes as a surprise to him, thoroughly catching him off guard. Yoongi smiles, feeling like a teenager in the way it makes his heart flutter. The fiery heat of arousal has settled down from before, which he had needed, but he doesn’t anymore, not when he eyes Jungkook’s still obvious erection.

“I want,” he pauses for a moment. “I want more,” he asks.

“Yeah?”

“Yes,” he confirms.

“Okay,” he breathes, almost to himself, looking at him in awe. “Okay, yeah, of course,” he says again, like he’s coming back into himself.

He reaches for the hem of Yoongi’s pants, seeming to be about to tug in a request for permission. He can literally see the way his hand curls around the fabric of the hem, pulling, before pausing and looking back up at Yoongi. “Wait, how much have you done before?” he asks.

“Nothing?”

“Nothing at all?” he asks, but goes on to clarify. “What about, like, fingering yourself?”

Yoongi flushes at the question, but it almost makes him laugh. It is a woeful understatement, to say the least. He imagines all the times he’s fucked himself on vibrators or dildos, desperate to get off. Yet, thinking of fucking himself whilst simultaneously staring at Jungkook looking up at him from below, still lingering low on his torso, it brings that earlier arousal rushing back into him with a force.

“I’ve uh,” he trails off, feeling awkward talking about this, especially now that he can feel his cock hardening again. “I’ve definitely done that. Toys too.”

“Really?” Jungkook asks, looking quite visibly shocked while his pupils blow up so wide and suddenly that it’s noticeable. Those big eyes always telling so much.

“Don’t act so surprised,” he says, slightly teasing. “What else did you expect from a 33 year old virgin?”

“Sorry, sorry, that’s uh, good to know though,” he says, snapping back into himself. “Fuck,” he adds, a helplessly whispered afterthought.

Jungkook’s mouth is back on him, kissing just above the waistband of his pants. He slips his hands beneath them again with a little more certainty this time.

“This is okay then?” he asks, tugging at his pants in question, double-checking one more time, because of course he does.

Yoongi nods with certainty.

So Jungkook begins to move, tugging on his pants as he begins to pull both his pants and briefs down in one go. Yoongi lifts his hips to make it easier.

While the burning arousal from earlier may have simmered, he is still rock hard just the same, so when his pants come off and his dick springs free, he can’t bring himself to look at Jungkook. To see his reaction.

“So pretty for me,” he hears Jungkook murmur, hands rubbing up and down his thighs.

Embarrassingly, it draws out a low moan from Yoongi. Jungkook means it; he can tell he does. The praise goes straight to his aching cock, making it even harder than it was. He looks down again and sees Jungkook watching him, seemingly satisfied now that he has Yoongi’s eyes again.

“I’m going to go grab some lube,” he tells him, withdrawing from his place over his legs and thighs.

Yoongi watches him as he gets up, opens a drawer, and digs around a little before pulling out the bottle of lube and a condom, returning to his place after a few moments.

“I’m going to start now,” he says while rubbing the bottle between his hands, warming it up, always so considerate. “If at any point you want to stop or slow down, let me know.”

Once again, not feeling up for being particularly vocal, Yoongi simply nods.

Settling over him, Jungkook adjusts the bed around Yoongi. He gently lifts his head and places a pillow beneath it, grabs another pillow to place under his hips, and runs his hands across the blanket beneath him as if some miniscule fold in the blanket is going to cause him discomfort. Yoongi smiles to himself, feeling helplessly charmed by Jungkook’s doting nature, how clearly he wants to make this good for him.

When Jungkook returns his attention to Yoongi’s face, he visibly brightens at the smile on Yoongi’s face. Like seeing it is a wordless praise that he’s doing good. The affection swells further in Yoongi’s chest and he can’t help the way he reaches out to tug Jungkook down into another kiss.

It’s a soft movement of lips, a slow drag, and it’s perfect. They break apart, still close enough to breathe in each other’s air, and Jungkook tucks some of Yoongi’s hair behind his ear. The touch sends a shaky breath through him, this entire interaction making him feel drunk on a warm buzz of both arousal and affection.

Then, Jungkook is down over his legs again. He places his hands between Yoongi’s thighs and begins to push them apart, settling between them. The sight goes straight to Yoongi’s groin, making him need to take a moment to collect himself, looking at the ceiling rather than the unexpectedly beautiful sight of Jungkook between his thighs.

He hears the cap of the lube opening, and that immediately snaps his attention back, not wanting to be caught off guard by the sensation of fingers in him. Jungkook squeezes out a generous amount of lube onto his fingers, rubbing them together to warm them up despite them probably being warm enough from the way he had done the same to the bottle itself.

Jungkook lowers himself further, pressing a kiss to Yoongi’s thigh that sends a lick of fire through his skin. Then he feels the wet press of fingers on his rim. He sucks in a sharp breath, the feeling unreal.

No matter how much he’s played with himself, absolutely nothing could have prepared him for the sensation of Jungkook running pressing circles around his rim, preparing the hole and teasing it in the same breath. He’s heard it before, of course, that being touched by someone else feels infinitely better than simple masturbation, but it’s another thing to actually experience the difference for himself.

Finally, Jungkook presses a single finger into him, kissing his thighs again to distract him from any kind of discomfort. It’s not necessary, not with how much he’s fucked himself, he’s well familiar with the feeling of being opened up. Yet, maybe he does need it, because the knowledge that it’s Jungkook slowly pumping his finger in and out of him adds an entire new layer to the experience. Burning waves of heat flow through him with each press inwards, each lingering kiss and suck to his thighs.

“Jungkook, Jungkook—” he says his name mindlessly.

He can hear the way Jungkook’s breath shutters in response to his ramblings, a thumb stoking his thigh insistently, but Yoongi can’t focus on it under the sensation of Jungkook’s finger slowly pumping in and out. He lets Yoongi adjust as he moves, every nerve in his body feeling pulled taut under his ministrations. Yoongi feels limp with it. And after a little more time of adjusting, Jungkook begins to tease the rim with a second finger. Despite knowing not to, Yoongi can’t resist the way he clenches down on it.

“Shh, shh, loosen up for me again, sweetheart. You’re doing so good,” Jungkook says soothingly, pausing to wait.

The words punch a tiny whine out of Yoongi, unexpectedly turned on by Jungkook’s use of pet names. His cock aches against his stomach from how hard it’s become, leaking steadily with precum. But it makes him focus, deliberately unclenching.

“That’s it,” he praises and lets the second finger press in.

Having noticed that Yoongi may need more of a distraction, Jungkook turns his attention to Yoongi’s weeping cock. Without warning, he licks a stripe from the base all the way to the top in one smooth motion, enveloping the tip in his mouth with a gentle suck. Simultaneously, he pumps his two fingers in and out of Yoongi.

Yoongi sharply arches into the sensations, waves of tingling pleasure washing through his body like waves, his entire body thrumming. As amazing as it feels, he still finds himself biting down on his lip to muffle the whine that wants to escape him. He feels unsure if he should even allow himself to show how much it’s affecting him, like it’ll make him seem too needy, despite that being exactly how he feels.

As Jungkook continues suckling on his tip, swirling his tongue around and pressing at the slit, Jungkook’s fingers begin to curl, searching, and that’s when he feels Jungkook’s fingers brush that sensitive spot in him. Stars burst across Yoongi’s vision and his entire body trembles like a plucked guitar string as Jungkook rubs firmly at the spot, circling.

Yoongi writhes in Jungkook’s hold, his head moving from side to side across the pillow as he lays there and takes in the sensations. He tries pressing his lips together to hold back more whimpers, but some sound comes out even despite his closed mouth.

Jungkook lets up from his cock with a final, long lick. “You don’t have to be quiet, let me hear you,” Jungkook says, then pauses. “I want to hear you,” he decides to amend, and it’s what Yoongi needs to hear.

Knowing that Jungkook wants this, looking down into his eyes and seeing the desire in them, the proof of his arousal.

It lowers his inhibitions, feeling himself loosen the tight grip on his control that he continued to try holding onto. It may have been a futile effort anyway, because when Jungkook presses in that third finger, feeling that stretch, Yoongi can only manage to feel a little embarrassed at the way he moans, hands reaching to tightly grip Jungkook’s shoulders in support.

Yoongi is surprised when he feels Jungkook’s lips back on his in an instant. Seeming unhinged almost, desperate in the way he kisses Yoongi with fervor.

“You sound beautiful,” he whispers against his lips, and he sounds genuine, breathless.

He can feel that Jungkook means it, that it’s not empty praise, and Yoongi relishes in it. In response, Yoongi lifts his hand to Jungkook’s hair, threading his fingers through the strands as they kiss again, Jungkook sucking on his tongue. Every touch leaves him feeling needier, like he can’t get enough.

Throughout the kiss, Jungkook continues pumping his three fingers in and out, hitting his prostate, stretching his fingers. The pleasure builds deep and hot in Yoongi’s stomach until he’s sure if Jungkook’s fingers don’t move on soon, he’s going to cum.

“Jungkook,” Yoongi breathes, Jungkook humming in response. “Jungkook, please, ah—” he cuts himself off with a high keen when Jungkook rubs at his prostate again. He can feel the way Jungkook smiles against him, the little shit. “Jungkook, I’m going to cum if you don’t stop,” Yoongi warns.

“Do you not want that?” he asks, pausing his hand but staying close to his mouth.

“No,” Yoongi says, with a level of emphasis that’s just barely on the side of joking. “I want you to fuck me.”

“Fuck,” Jungkook says, the words punching out of him. He freezes completely for a moment, as if trying to gather some kind of composure.

“Well, that’s the idea,” Yoongi lightly jokes. He means it though, with the way his cock is leaking in a steady stream.

Jungkook laughs, grinning while he presses one more kiss to Yoongi’s lips before moving back up. Yoongi’s fingers leave his hair as he moves away. From above him, Yoongi stares in awe at Jungkook’s beautiful face, smile, his light laugh still resonating in his mind.

“Your wish is my command,” Jungkook jokes back. It’s silly and ridiculous, and Yoongi loves it. He slightly smacks Jungkook on his stomach, the closest place he can reach, the action drawing out a few more chuckles from Jungkook, shaking his head.

Carrying on, Jungkook moves to undo the buckle on his belt, Yoongi only now noticing the contrast in their nudity. It has him further eager to get him undressed, to feel mutual in their exposure. It’s enough to drive him forward and take things into his own hands. With Jungkook watching him with a raised brow, Yoongi grabs the belt from Jungkook, undoing it and tugging insistently at his pants.

“You weren’t kidding,” Jungkook remarks with mummble.

Yoongi decides to ignore him in favor of getting these stupid pants off.

With the belt undone, Jungkook scoots back until he’s off the bed, tugging off the rest of his clothes in one go. When he comes back up after being bent to step out of his pants, Yoongi is able to take in the full size of his cock.

And shit—he’s big.

Based on the size of his bulge earlier, maybe he should have expected this, and while he’s already decided it's going inside him, he can't help but think he wouldn't have minded if Jungkook was a little less well endowed. Thick, flushed, and so obviously hard against his stomach. Certainly larger than any toy he’s taken thus far.

He’s intimidated, to say the least.

Taking notice, Jungkook moves back onto the bed and over Yoongi. “You’re alright,” he assures. “I stretched you well, but let me know the moment you want to stop,” he kisses his forehead. “I promise I’ll stop, you don’t even need a reason. Just say the word.”

He almost feels silly, he knows with complete certainty that Jungkook would never hurt him. Yoongi reaches his head up to lay a kiss on Jungkook’s lips. So as much as he is nervous, he doesn’t want Jungkook to get the wrong idea.

“I want this, Jungkook,” he murmurs, looking into his eyes.

And to emphasize his point, he wraps his legs around Jungkook’s hips, using the heels of his feet to tug him inwards. The action makes their cocks brush, arousal building back up in him further. They both groan, a mutual desire manifesting in the way they both rut against each other. It feels so good, the leaking precum from their cocks making the slight slide wet and hot.

“God, you’re so—” Jungkook starts, but never finishes the thought. “Okay, okay,” he diverges, moving his cock away from Yoongi’s in favor of reaching for the lube and condom that was set down beside them earlier.

Back over Yoongi, Jungkook rips the condom open with his teeth and rolls it on his large cock in a fast display of unfortunately telling skill and experience. It’s so inexplicably arousing that he has to look up and away from Jungkook to gather himself, want blazing anew in his stomach and straight down to his cock.

He hears the cap of the lube opening and he’s sure Jungkook is spreading it obscenely over his cock if the slick noises are anything to go by. Yoongi feels content to continue looking up, feeling so built up now that the sight alone may have been enough to send him over the age.

He feels it when Jungkook has lined himself up with his hole, a gentle pressure. He tenses again.

Bending back down and over Yoongi, Jungkook reaches up to cradle his face again, a uniquely pleasant feeling that’s beginning to feel familiar by now. “Loosen up for me, doll,” he murmurs, a thumb smoothing across his cheek.

Despite never having had sex, Yoongi has never considered himself to be the classic, blushing virgin stereotype. Yet, flushing under Jungkook’s soft attention, he thinks that may need to be revised.

Jungkook presses against his rim a little more insistently, and when he finds less resistance, he begins his slow entrance into Yoongi. He feels his legs involuntarily drop from their hold at the sensation, falling to both sides of Jungkook. Jungkook takes it in stride, holding his legs instead to support them in this position.

The stretch feels obscene.

At a consistent, slow pace, Jungkook pushes in further and further into Yoongi, pausing here and there to allow Yoongi to adjust, murmuring sweet assurances into his skin.

When Jungkook finally bottoms out, Yoongi feels his whole body shudder. Jungkook’s grip on his thighs seems to tighten and Yoongi hears the way Jungkook breathily moans. When Yoongi looks up at him, he sees the way Jungkook has thrown his head back, face scrunched in pleasure like he’s trying to gather his composure. The sight of Jungkook keeping such a tight, trembling grip on his control sends a lick of heat through him that’s nearly as intense as the stretching from Jungkook’s cock.

Every nerve ending inside of him feels raw and twitching, Yoongi hardly even feels embarrassed by the way he whines and clings. And Jungkook stays there, still, just letting him take it in and adjust.

“Sweet thing,” he murmurs. “You’re doing so well, look so pretty for me,” he says, rubbing Yoongi’s trembling thighs.

Yoongi nods nonsensically, like he’s silently taking in the words, the praise going straight to his head. He catches his breath.

“Do you want me to move?” Jungkook asks, never stopping his gentle caresses.

And Yoongi does, he wants more of Jungkook, more of this feeling, so he nods insistently.

Jungkook kisses him again before starting his slow movement, pushing in and out, thrusting at a gentle pace.

Yoongi takes it, head spinning with every press and shock of pleasure. He feels the way Jungkook moves around a little inside of him with each thrust, changing angles, like he’s searching.

When Yoongi feels Jungkook brush against that sensitive bundle of nerves inside him, he gasps—sudden and loud. Stars are bursting across Yoongi’s vision and his entire body trembles like a plucked guitar string, sharply arching off the bed. A sound escapes him that is high-pitched and raw.

Yoongi was not at all prepared for how quickly his entire body wakes, the low burn of arousal from before flaming into something ravenous and wild. Jungkook proceeds to rub and press at the spot and Yoongi’s hands scramble to grip the bed, tearing at the sheets in an attempt to hold on to something, anything.

“More, more, please,” he begs mindlessly.

“God,” Jungkook whispers as Yoongi writhes beneath him, involuntarily pushing back against Jungkook.

And things pick up. As if awakened, Jungkook’s thrusts become insistent, fast and hard, aiming to hit his prostate each time. Yoongi’s hands are still searching, grasping at things for purchase. Jungkook seems to take it upon himself to envelop both of Yoongi’s hands with his own. He twines their fingers together almost sweetly, holding them down up beside Yoongi’s head, using the new position for leverage. It’s a move that’s simultaneously comforting and desperately hot.

Maybe more on the side of hot.

And Yoongi is a mess, whimpering with Jungkook’s every movement, undone and trembling in Jungkook’s arms.

“Tell me if you want me to stop or slow down,” he huffs as his pace continues to increase.

Like this, Yoongi can feel Jungkook’s strength. With his arms holding Yoongi’s hands down on either side of his head, low and crowding against him, Yoongi feels enveloped. Jungkook moves one of his hands to grab hold of one of Yoongi’s thighs and proceeds to press it upwards to get a better angle.

It’s so good it’s unreal. Each movement is a fresh shock of pleasure, electrifying in its intensity.

Yoongi throws his head back in ecstasy, whiny breaths punched out of him as each thrust moves him up and down. With his neck exposed, Jungkook doesn’t waste any time getting his lips on him. Kissing, licking, gently sucking, it makes his heartbeat flutter like mad.

The combination of all the sensations: the stretch of Jungkook’s cock inside of him as it brushes against the sensitive nerves of his walls, the electrifying wave of tingles each time his prostate is hit, his hand still intertwined with Jungkook’s, held down beside his head, and the dizzyingly sweet kisses against his neck. He can feel that burning warmth inside him building up, and he knows he can’t last much longer. Yoongi struggles against it, willing himself back from that peak, wanting to hold onto this for just a moment longer. But he knows it, he’s going to cum.

“Jungkook,” he whimpers, barely managing to get the word out. “Jungkook, I’m going to cum, ah—” he cuts himself off with a keen.

“You’re perfect, you’re perfect,” he says into the skin of Yoongi’s neck. “Let go for me, whenever you’re ready. Just let go.” Jungkook moves slightly higher until his nose is at Yoongi’s jawline, kissing just beneath it and gently nibbling at Yoongi’s ear.

Then with the hand preciously on Yoongi’s thigh, he takes hold of Yoongi’s cock, keeping a tight grip and using the wet drip of Yoongi’s precum to quickly slide up and down. With each jerking movement, he draws wretched little gasps out of him. Yoongi tightens his hold against Jungkook’s fingers, his other hand moving to claw desperately at Jungkook’s back, clinging the best he can with trembling arms.

It’s so much. He can no longer pick out a single spot of pleasure as he feels his whole body thrumming with it, building in a crescendo until it reaches its peak, and he’s falling.

Yoongi’s voice breaking, he cries out, shuddering and sobbing and he’s coming—and oh god. He feels the way his head goes light and spinny as his cock jerks, painting his stomach white with come.

Jungkook drags out the pleasure as he holds his cock more tightly, rubbing at the head of his cock, still lightly thrusting against his prostate. Yoongi shudders and clenches down at the sensation, the aftershocks shaking through him.

“That’s it, that’s it,” Jungkook says, and Yoongi moves his head forward from the thrown-back position it had been in just enough to catch the way Jungkook is staring at his trembling body, utterly fixated and mesmerized, almost shocked. “You’re so beautiful,” he says, awed.

It somehow makes it so much better, seeing how much he’s affected Jungkook, the simultaneous care and desire in his eyes. It’s perfect, it’s so perfect, it’s everything.

Even so, he can’t stop the way the tingling pleasure begins to turn into overstimulation. He wordlessly whines and taps at Jungkook’s arm, the one he didn’t even notice had moved to cradle him. He can’t bring himself to make out any actual words, but Jungkook seems to understand immediately.

With utmost care, Jungkook begins pulling out of Yoongi, then quickly pulls off his condom in a move Yoongi hardly notices. An involuntary whine escapes Yoongi at the sensation of Jungkook leaving him, the emptiness. Jungkook tuts at him affectionately, holding him closer, hand to his head. And Yoongi lets him, limp in his arms, face pressed into his neck as he catches his breath.

“You did so good, love,” Jungkook says into his hair. “How are you feeling?” he asks, waiting patiently for Yoongi to respond, Yoongi needing time to reorient himself.

“Holy shit,” Yoongi breathes, succinct.

There’s no other words he could come up with anyway.

He feels the way Jungkook’s shoulders shake in quiet laughter against Yoongi’s head, still resting on his shoulder, the feeling bringing a smile to Yoongi’s face in turn.

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” he jokes. “Alright, I’m going to clean you up, just stay right here, alright?” he assures Yoongi as he begins setting him down, letting go of the careful hold he had on him.

Blissed out, Yoongi simply nods.

Jungkook leaves to go into the attached bathroom and Yoongi hears the running water of the sink. Yoongi lies in the bed in wait and relishes in the way every part of him feels satiated, every limb having a pleasant kind of soreness and an almost aching warmth in his chest, utter contentment.

Jungkook comes back with a damp cloth. He settles between Yoongi’s legs, still spread from the position they were in before, not having bothered moving. The sight of Jungkook between his legs is still beautiful enough to take his breath away. It feels unfathomable to him now that he could have ever looked at his sweet expressions and obscenely attractive physique and only felt a platonic kind of appreciation. Because he can acknowledge it now.

What he is feeling is anything but platonic.

Jungkook moves the pleasantly warm cloth over Yoongi’s body. He swipes off the cum that has spilled over Yoongi’s stomach, then sweeps the cloth down between Yoongi’s legs, wiping up any remnants of lube and cum.

The doting care with which Jungkook handles him is doing things to Yoongi’s heart that he can’t even begin to untangle. He watches Jungkook’s every move intently, fully taking in this novel sight now that his mind is more clear. It’s as he’s scanning Jungkook that he finally takes notice, looking down, he can see the way Jungkook is still rock hard. Pulsing veins visible and all.

It sends a throb of arousal to his gut that he didn’t even know was possible for him after coming so hard.

“Jungkook,” he starts, getting his attention but not quite knowing how to proceed.

“Hm?” Jungkook looks up to give Yoongi his full attention with a sweet smile. “What is it? Do you need something?” he asks, Yoongi only now able to take in the fact that he’s doing all this despite the frankly painful-looking erection between his legs.

“Jungkook, let me help you,” he says, letting his point be known with an obvious glance to Jungkook’s weeping cock.

“Oh,” he laughs off. “No, don’t worry about it, sweetheart, just let me take care of you,” he soothes, beginning to set the cloth down now that Yoongi has been properly cleaned up.

“No, I,” he pauses, “I want to,” he insists. “You’ve been so good to me, let me do this for you.”

“Yoongi, you don’t owe me anything. I wanted to take care of you.” He looks at Yoongi’s face. “I loved taking care of you,” he adds in an almost whisper.

If anything, it only spurs Yoongi on, feeling more insistent.

“I know I don’t,” Yoongi says, now leaning up from where he had previously been lying, closer at eye level to Jungkook now. “I know I don’t, but I want to.” He looks in Jungkook’s eyes as they search across Yoongi’s face. “If you’d let me. If you want me to,” he realizes he should add, not knowing if Jungkook even wants that kind of reciprocation from Yoongi, considering he technically only agreed to helping him.

That seems to get to Jungkook. “Of course I do,” he says, like it’d be some kind of insult to not want him to, he deliberates. “Okay,” he sighs, then he climbs back onto the bed.

Jungkook reaches for him with one smooth movement, crowds Yoongi down onto the pillows and kisses him deep. There’s no hesitation in the way he kisses Yoongi, lingering and fervent, he kisses like he wants to consume him. Without breaking the kiss, Jungkook reaches for Yoongi’s hand, dragging it down with a smoothly slow pace, a loose hold that Yoongi is sure is meant to allow Yoongi to break away if he wanted to.

He doesn’t.

Jungkook brings Yoongi’s hand to his cock, Yoongi immediately moving to wrap his fingers. It's thick, warm, and feels somehow entirely different from his own. Holding it in his hand now makes it all the more surreal knowing that he actually had this in him only a few minutes ago.

The mere touch of Yoongi’s fingers has Jungkook groaning deep into Yoongi’s ear, thrusting minutely into his hand. The sound sends an unexpected strike of hot arousal down to his core.

Yoongi suddenly feels he may understand what people mean when they say they get off on making others feel good in bed. And at that thought, he wants more, rubbing thoughtfully. Well, if there was ever a time to try it, by this point he knows he’d want to do it here, with Jungkook.

“Actually, uh,” he doesn’t know how to ask this, but Jungkook seems to interpret it negatively because he’s immediately pulling Yoongi’s hand away and leaning back up to read his face. It’s sweet, because of course he is, but it makes him groan, not wanting to shift the mood in this direction when he can already feel the pleasant heat returning. “No, no, not like that,” he starts, trying to soothe Jungkook’s concerned expression, “I just,” he pauses. Oh, to hell with it.

“Can I give you a blowjob?” Yoongi finally asks.

Jungkook’s eyes practically bulge out of his skull, eyes as wide as saucers, jaw slightly dropping in a comedic display of shock.

“Well don’t come yet,” he mutters jokingly.

“I’m sorry, uh, blowjob?” Jungkook repeats, incredulous.

“Ever heard of it?” Yoongi says dryly.

Jungkook breathes a laugh in disbelief, dropping his head down, his hair brushing Yoongi’s sternum. Jungkook takes a moment for himself, the sight feeling slightly vindicating to Yoongi after how much Jungkook has taken him apart thus far.

“Okay, yeah, sure. Blowjob practice. Great,” Jungkook murmurs.

Deciding he doesn’t want to wait, Yoongi grabs one side of Jungkook’s shoulder and intently pulls him to the side. He doesn’t use much force, Jungkook easily having the ability to resist, but he complies with the wordless request and turns over, lying beside Yoongi.

Without Jungkook over him, Yoongi lifts himself up and climbs over Jungkook instead, Jungkook immediately moving to grab his waist. Looking down at Jungkook from above feels like a religious experience, and from the way Jungkook is looking up at him, enamored, he thinks he may not be the only one thinking that.

After this whole night, he’s not taking for granted the opportunity laid out in front of him. He takes hold of Jungkook’s chin in one hand and lays a lingering kiss on his lips. Jungkook lifts up his hand to twine his fingers through Yoongi’s hair, still cradling, even now. Releasing himself from the kiss but without separating his lips from Jungkook’s skin, he begins moving down, Yoongi tilting Jungkook’s chin up to taste the sensitive skin beneath his jaw. The low breath that leaves Jungkook sounds heavenly.

Going further, Yoongi scoots back slightly to get easier access to Jungkook’s body, indulging himself. He kisses down Jungkook’s neck and tugs on the silver chain still lying on his chest, enjoying the way Jungkook gasps a little. Continuing, he runs his hands across the muscles of Jungkook’s arms, feels the slope of his small waist, his abs.

And god does he look good.

He lays kisses as he goes, enjoying the way Jungkook’s stomach seems to flutter beneath his mouth and hands due to his shaky breathing.

It makes him look up, wanting to see Jungkook’s expression, and the pause it required is worth it. Jungkook is watching him, utterly transfixed, mesmerized even, his jaw hanging open slightly. And fuck, his eyes. He’s looking at Yoongi like he’s actually considering devouring him. It makes Yoongi feel heady with it, that he’s enraptured Jungkook’s attention to such a degree. With endorphins running through him, Yoongi does an experimental lick up his abs, long and wet, while keeping direct eye contact with Jungkook.

Jungkook throws his head back with a groan, clenching the hand he has in Yoongi’s hair, sending pleasant sparks down his spine. Against Yoongi’s chest, he feels the way Jungkook’s cock twitches.

“You’re so hot, oh my god—fuck,” he says nonsensically.

Yoongi damn near grins.

He had no idea how much he would love this, but the want he feels to make Jungkook feel good, to make him fall apart further, well, it has him picking up his pace to move downwards.

Finally, he’s hovering over Jungkook’s pulsingly hard cock. He feels intimidated, he wants to touch him, to taste him—he does. And while he knows in theory how to do this, he feels suddenly hesitant, wanting to make sure this is good for him.

At the pause, he feels the fingers that had been in his hair begin to brush his head.

“You can still back out,” he assures. An amusing sentiment as he stares directly at Jungkook’s rock-hard, leaking cock.

To counteract him, he lays a kiss on the side of it, the sudden action making Jungkook jerk up in surprise. While out of his element, Yoongi is not a stranger to the art of winging it.

“I don’t want to back out.”

Yoongi licks a stripe up Jungkook’s cock without warning. In response, Jungkook’s jaw drops open in a soundless gasp, hips jerking up once again. In a way that feels almost scolding, Jungkook moves his hand to his hip, as if trying to will himself still. The sight feels like a liquid, hot arousal washing through Yoongi, nearly making him moan.

Encouraged, Yoongi moves up to Jungkook’s tip, taking it into his mouth as he swirls his tongue, trying to repeat the motion Jungkook did to him earlier. He takes in the taste of him, finding it to be alright, but the simple fact of being on him like this is more than enough to send shivers of pleasure down Yoongi’s spine. He quietly moans against Jungkook’s cock.

“Fuck—fuck—fuck, baby,” Jungkook groans, voice already sounding fucked out. Jungkook strokes Yoongi’s hair insistently, encouraging.

Yoongi begins trying to move his head down to fit more of him in his mouth. He feels his lips stretch around the size of it, trying to adjust to the way he fits in his mouth, rubbing against his tongue. Conceding to himself that he may have to take this slower than he initially wanted, having to pause every couple seconds to adjust, he uses one of his hands to grip the remaining part of Jungkook’s cock that isn’t currently in his mouth. He does his best to stroke it in a way he usually likes. He feels well rewarded by the low groans of pleasure from above him.

Jungkook’s hand moves downwards from his hair until it’s cradling Yoongi’s face again, his thumb stroking across Yoongi’s lips, taut from the way they’re stretched around him.

“You’re so pretty,” he murmurs.

He’s so genuine in his appreciation, it sends goosebumps down Yoongi’s skin.

He feels the strain in his throat beginning to grow the further he goes, having to breathe through his gag reflex. He begins to struggle a little, eyes growing teary, and Jungkook immediately notices.

“Don’t force it, love. You’ll hurt yourself,” Jungkook says, sounding audibly strained. He takes a steadying breath. “You’re making me feel so good, I promise. Just do what feels comfortable for you, it’s enough,” he says, before adding a more quietly mumbled, “you’re more than enough…” trailing off.

Yoongi wishes he could manage it anyway, deepthroat him the way he wanted to, but he knows that any attempt would end up being far more clumsy than it would be pleasurable. So he works with what he has.

He starts bobbing his head up and down over what he could fit into his mouth, sucking and twirling his tongue periodically. He feels the way drool drips down involuntarily, but Yoongi took this in stride and uses it to help with the slide of stroking what he couldn’t fit in his mouth with his hand.

“You’re doing so good, oh my god,” Jungkook chokes out, a thigh twitching under his clear effort to resist thrusting up into Yoongi’s mouth. Yoongi moans at the praise and he can feel the way the sound makes Jungkook’s cock twitch in his mouth. Jungkook curses unintelligibly.

Getting lost in the rhythm of it, Yoongi could feel the way his mind was going fuzzy.

Throughout his efforts, Jungkook continuously threads his fingers through his hair, lightly tugging here and there when Yoongi sucks particularly hard. The taste of the precum in his mouth, the way it twitches with each suck and lick, the sounds of Jungkook’s breathy moans, sighs, and quietly whispered praises.

He was buzzing with it, lost in the sensations, a frankly shocking amount of arousal coursing through him.

As the pace picks up, the twitching cock in his mouth becomes more insistent.

“Yoongi,” Jungkook breathes his name. “Yoongi, I’m going to come,” he says, gently pulling at Yoongi’s hair in encouragement to let go. Yoongi looks up at him, enjoying the view of Jungkook’s heavily breathing chest and the eyes that stay fixedly trained on him. The lingering, charged eye contact results in Jungkook closing his eyes and looking up, as if trying to find composure. “Fuck—Yoongi, come up, baby. I’m going to come in your mouth if you keep going.”

Yoongi hummed against him, enjoying the thought of it, of making Jungkook let go, to feel that good. The vibration the sound causes seems to spur Jungkook on, tugging more insistently at his hair while still still trying to be gentle with him. Yoongi can’t help but savor the way Jungkook continues to shudder beneath him.

“Yoongi, Yoongi, ah—” he tries to warn, cutting himself off with a moan, the building pleasure in him evidently making him less coherent in his persistence.

Yoongi sucks hard, continues stroking, and moves his head up and down only a few more times before he feels the sensation of come flooding his mouth, Jungkook moaning wantonly. Yoongi tries to swallow what he can, a fair amount still dribbling out, further slicking the slide of Yoongi’s pumping hand.

“Okay, okay, you freak,” Jungkook jokes, sounding completely breathless. “Come up here—come on, come up,” he insists, tugging at Yoongi.

He follows Jungkook’s insistence, moving up after pulling off of his cock, and in an instant Jungkook’s mouth is on his. Jungkook rolls them back over so he’s hovering over Yoongi once again, at a slightly bad angle with one thigh between Yoongi’s legs, one on the outside.

Yoongi thought some of their kisses prior were intense, but the way Jungkook is ravaging his mouth now is like he’s a man possessed. A hand to Yoongi’s face that he uses to tilt Yoongi’s head further, seeking a better angle for their mouths to slot together, Jungkook licking into him.

“You’re so perfect,” mouth still on Yoongi’s, not letting up for a second. “So beautiful,” he says, this time letting up from his mouth to press gentle kisses to the lids of his closed eyes. “God, do you know how lovely you are?”

Enjoying it, relishing even, Yoongi lies there and takes it happily. And while he’s enjoying the near-frantic way Jungkook is doting on him, it does not at all distract him from the way Yoongi’s cock is now throbbing, having become fully hard again after hearing the evidence of Jungkook’s pleasure that Yoongi had drawn out of him. Jungkook’s thigh between his legs does him no favors, and Yoongi cannot resist the way he grinds against it, Jungkook’s hurried attention seeming to only feed Yoongi’s arousal.

Feeling Yoongi press against his thigh, Jungkook completely freezes.

“Are you hard again?” he asks in disbelief, almost sounding in wonder.

“Uh, yes?”

“Oh my fucking god,” Jungkook groans, eyes closed as if lost in thought. “Alright, do you think you’re done for the night? Or do you want to come again? Let me make you feel good?” he asks. The question is genuine, but the desire that pools in his eyes is poorly disguised. “There’s no wrong answer here, I just want to make this good for you,” he assures.

At this point, he’s almost come to hate how kind Jungkook is being. Not in truth, but he feels it a little when he can’t stop the way his ceaselessly kind treatment makes his heart feel warmed over, almost fluttering.

Not wanting this to end, let alone remembering the euphoric feeling of coming under Jungkook and certainly not minding a redo of that experience, what he really wants is to make this last.

He lifts a leg to wrap around Jungkook’s waist as he’d done before, the other still straddled between Jungkook’s thighs.

“I want more,” he breathes.

Staring down at Yoongi from above, Jungkook’s gaze seems to drink him in, appreciative, wanting. He traces a hand up the thigh of Yoongi’s leg that’s now wrapped around him.

“Yoongi…” he trails off, almost lost in thought. “Can I try something?” he asks, before going on to assure, “You can say no.”

After this night, he thinks he’d let Jungkook do just about anything to him.

“Yes,” Yoongi answers, simple, nothing more needing said.

He lays himself out for Jungkook, heart bare to him.

“What, no questions? You’re not even gonna ask?” he laughs, a slightly teasing tone.

“I trust you, Jungkook, do what you want,” he says quietly, a confession, contrasting in its earnestness.

That seems to shut Jungkook up, eyes going wide. Those ridiculous, beautiful eyes.

“Are you sure?” he asks.

The way Jungkook is looking at him, like he’s turned on, like he wants this. Trying to keep his composure but unable to disguise the desire in his eyes. And Yoongi wants that, needs him to enjoy this too. He wants Jungkook to like this as much as he does, because Yoongi is coming to terms with how much he does, how much more to him that has become. So yes, he wants Jungkook to get something out of this too, for it to not just be a favor. The proof of it, that he’s doing something just because he wants to, well, it makes Yoongi want it just as much.

“I am.”

Jungkook waits a few moments before continuing. “Yoongi…” he trails off, saying his name like it’s something precious. “If at any point you want to stop, tell me. You can trust me and still not like something I do, you can say no.”

“I know.” And he does.

Jungkook breathes out then nods. “Scoot back on the bed for me then, sweetheart,” he asks.

Yoongi is eager to comply, dropping his leg from around Jungkook and moving up the bed. He can feel the slight nerves humming in him, but rather than anxiety, the nerves feel an awful lot closer to exhilaration.

Jungkook crawls low up the bed and settles between Yoongi’s legs. The vision of Jungkook’s slow movement as he eyes Yoongi up like he’s some kind of fucking predator is so obscenely attractive that Yoongi can’t hold back the involuntarily low groan that leaves him, never taking his eyes off Jungkook.

Jungkook grips beneath each of Yoongi’s calves, and suddenly, Jungkook tosses both of his legs over each of Jungkook’s shoulders, firmly tugging Yoongi down, then sliding his grip to the outside of Yoongi’s thighs to keep them stable on either side of his head. Yoongi’s breath hitches and his cock absolutely throbs in arousal at the motion.

Jungkook begins to trail lingering kisses up the line of Yoongi’s right thigh, bruising with the way he sucks. Yoongi feels himself getting worked up in record time, unable to hold back the way he mewls at each sensation, the wet trail of his mouth, the tight grip on his thighs.

Jungkook continues up, up, up, and further until his nose meets Yoongi’s ass, and suddenly Yoongi is catching up to Jungkook’s intentions.

Holy fucking shit.

Jungkook nuzzles further between his cheeks, absolutely unreal, and Yoongi is suddenly clenching his legs on either side of his head, heels pressing into his back.

“That’s good,” Jungkook murmurs. “Keep your legs there for me, baby.”

Yoongi groans.

Taking advantage of the way Yoongi is clenching his legs beside Jungkook’s head, keeping them stable, he lets go of his thighs and moves his hands to now spread Yoongi’s cheeks, exposing his hole. Jungkook does an experimental, wet lick at his rim and Yoongi immediately begins squirming at the foreign feeling, Jungkook keeping him steady with his hands. He blows softly on the now-wet hole, and Yoongi jumps at the sensitivity.

It feels so good he’s shaking with it, and he’s barely even started.

Jungkook wastes no more time, enthused by Yoongi’s responses. He licks further against his rim, pulling Yoongi’s cheeks further apart as he locks his lips around his rim and sucks.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck—oh my god,” his voice breaks off into a high-pitched noise, thighs shaking on either side of Jungkook’s head.

His tongue continues licking teasing circles around the rim before beginning to push the tip in. The wet slide of his tongue along his insides feels obscene, the sensitive nerves singing through his body, making his stomach jump. Jungkook pushes his tongue in further, almost thrusting to gain further entrance, and Yoongi is falling apart in his arms. Suddenly, all Yoongi is aware of is the heat of Jungkook’s tongue inside him, the tingling of his skin from where Jungkook holds him apart. There is nothing but sensation.

He cannot think, cannot even breathe. The pleasure turns his brain into mush, waves of throbbing heat washing through him. He wantonly moves against Jungkook’s tongue, wild with it as he writhes, thighs shaking as tiny gasps and keens fall from his lips.

“Open your eyes,” Jungkook says, pulling away minutely, still lingering close enough for his breath to be felt on his skin. Yoongi hadn’t even realized they were closed. “Breathe for me, love,” he soothes. Coming back into himself slightly, he realizes he’s panting heavily. Jungkook rubs his hands on his thighs, grounding him, waiting.

Yoongi works to steady his breathing, gulping in breaths, the tingling pleasure of Jungkook’s tongue still resonating throughout his body. Once his breath begins to come in fuller amounts, Jungkook seems satisfied, kissing his thigh again.

“Focus on me,” he insists, intently holding Yoongi’s gaze.

Yoongi reaches a slightly shaky hand up to Jungkook’s head, threading his fingers through the strands.

“Good,” he says.

It feels like a reward.

Jungkook’s tongue returns to his hole, a bit slower this time but no less insistent. The tempo slows, turning deep and sensual rather than the near frantic pace from before. Endorphins wash through his brain in a way that makes him feel floaty, but his grip on Jungkook’s hair keeps him steady.

The gradual building of heat under each new spark of pleasure feels so much sweeter, feeling each sensation individually. He moans and arches into Jungkook’s face, the wet feeling on his sensitive rim and the throbbing walls around his tongue is like a rich sparking of arousal that blossoms in his core.

He feels a sudden pressure at his hole, then Jungkook is sinking a slow finger into him. He takes it, moaning, tightening his hand in Jungkook’s hair and pushing Jungkook’s head against him, wanting more. Jungkook uses the finger to aid in the thrusting of his tongue, going deeper, then the finger curls, and Yoongi gasps at the sharp jump in sparking pleasure that runs up his spine, Jungkook having pressed against his prostate.

“Jungkook, Jungkook, ah, ah—” he whines his name, unable to do anything else.

With a final lingering lick, Jungkook removes his tongue, replacing it with a second finger as he continues the sensual thrust against his prostate.

“That’s it, that’s it,” Jungkook says, a low, gentle praise. “Doing so good, you look so pretty for me.”

And Jungkook means it. Yoongi knows he does, can feel it in the way he holds him, in the way their gazes meet and he sees the rapt attention Jungkook’s eyes hold on him.

Gradual waves of arousal and heat wash through him, a pleasure that builds and builds.

God, it feels, it feels—

He moans again, sinking into the feeling and letting go, allowing Jungkook’s fingers to coax every shiver and jerking spasm out of him.

Somehow, it’s so much better the second time.

There’s an ache to it now, the way he shudders and clenches down on the fingers inside him, but it adds an extra spark of pleasure that hadn’t been there before. Jungkook works him over, whispering sweet words that send his mind spinning. The pleasure gathers in his stomach until he feels the way he approaches that blissful edge, his entire body tense like a bow drawn to its limits, then he’s tumbling over that edge, finally coming with a moan that comes from deep within his chest. The orgasm that rolls over him now is long and lingering. Jungkook holds him through it, his fingers still moving, still wringing out every bit of pleasure in him.

The last of the aftershocks wrack through his body, and when Yoongi’s shakes of pleasure turn into tiny whines, Jungkook pulls his fingers out. Yoongi makes a quiet, bereft noise before collapsing like a marionette with cut strings, limp in Jungkook’s arms.

Jungkook puts Yoongi’s legs back down and moves until he’s holding Yoongi in his arms, cradling him, sweet and tender. Yoongi turns his head into Jungkook’s neck and breathes him in; he never noticed how good he smells. Clean, some kind of cologne, and an underlying scent that is purely Jungkook.

They lie there for some time, unmoving as Jungkook simply holds Yoongi, letting him come back down at his own pace.

When Yoongi’s rapid breathing slows down to a comfortable rate, still nuzzled into Jungkook’s neck, he feels the way Jungkook presses a kiss to the top of Yoongi’s head, slightly nuzzling against his hair.

“Stay here, sweetheart, let me go get you some water,” he says with quiet care. Detaching himself and gently moving Yoongi away from his neck, Jungkook uses featherlight fingers to brush the sweaty hair off of Yoongi’s forehead. “So lovely,” he murmurs, pressing a tiny kiss to Yoongi’s forehead.

Then he’s getting up, his touch lingering on Yoongi’s skin.

In Jungkook’s absence, Yoongi lies in the bed, staring at the ceiling, relishing his pleasantly worn-out limbs. He feels that warm, fluttery feeling in his chest.

Shit.

Jungkook returns then, having brought back the water he had initially gotten for Yoongi and him at the start of the night. Yoongi finds himself mildly amused at the completely untouched state of the water, knowing there was no way in hell he was going to be casually sipping that during their earlier conversation. Jungkook is at the bed now, setting the glasses down on the nightstand, then carefully adjusting Yoongi until he’s upright in bed, handling him like he’s something precious.

Jungkook hands Yoongi the glass of water, and he takes it with gratitude. He doesn’t hesitate to take long gulps of water, not realizing how thirsty he had become. He feels Jungkook settle beside him on the bed again, and Yoongi doesn’t deny himself the urge to lean against him. Soaking in his presence.

Yet, as their night clearly ends, Yoongi begins thinking about what the procedure should be. This is technically a hookup, right? Sure, the circumstances are different, but should Yoongi be leaving? Honestly, Yoongi cannot think of anything he wants to do less right now than gather his clothes and head back to his place, alone. But also, after how perfect Jungkook has been, he doesn’t want to overstay his welcome.

“Should I uh,” he starts, trying to sound casual. Jungkook turns to him, giving him his full, unbridled attention. “Should I go?”

“What?” Jungkook says, sounding caught off guard. “Why? I mean—do you want to?” he asks, still sounding surprised, and maybe, just maybe, a little disappointed.

“Isn’t that usually what happens? With hookups, I mean?” he trails off in question.

“Oh my god, hyung, no, of course not,” Jungkook breathes out. At Yoongi’s confused expression, he carries on. “I mean, sure, yeah, that is usually how hookups go. But you’re not just some hookup, Yoongi. You know that, right?”

He suspected, he hoped, but there’s a palpable relief running through him hearing Jungkook say it.

“Yeah, of course,” he tries to play off. “So I’m staying?” he double checks.

Jungkook smiles at him fondly and laughs. He leans in and pecks Yoongi on the head again. “Come on, let’s get you cleaned up,” he says, delicate and sweet. He tugs at Yoongi’s arms until he’s standing up. Yoongi’s legs feeling like actual jelly, and Jungkook takes immediate notice of the way they slightly shake.

He’s practically giggling, the little shit.

Shrugging playfully, Jungkook just simply—picks him up. He picks Yoongi up in a ridiculous bridal carry like they’re in some kind of rom-com.

“Oh my god—Jungkook, I can walk,” he insists as Jungkook moves them to the bathroom.

“Didn’t seem that way to me,” he teases, practically singing the words.

Resigned, Yoongi simply lets himself be carried. The dynamic feels familiar to him, the kind of interaction they would always have; Jungkook messing with him while he remains unresisting, accepting whatever it is Jungkook is doing with little protest. The fondness that blooms in his chest is equally familiar, and it brings an odd kind of comfort that this hasn’t changed.

Despite the massive shift that has just occurred in their relationship, it’s still them. It’ll always be them.

Jungkook sets Yoongi down on the sink, leaving him perched there as he moves to open the shower door and turn it on, waiting for the temperature to adjust. Once satisfied, he tugs Yoongi off the counter and leads him by his hand into the shower.

‘Oh, so now I can walk?’ he thinks to himself, almost wanting to laugh.

Jungkook moves them so Yoongi is under the shower stream first, Yoongi’s front facing Jungkook as they step inside and his back to the water. The warmth of the spray falling across his skin feels absolutely heavenly. He closes his eyes and sighs. He feels the hands that move to cradle his face, thumbs smoothing across Yoongi’s cheeks, holding him like he’s something precious. Yoongi reaches his arms out to Jungkook’s waist, gently pulling in, wanting him closer.

Jungkook follows easily, then Yoongi feels the way his head is gently tilted up and slanted as Jungkook meets his lips again in a sweet kiss. It’s nothing like the kisses they shared before, there is no longer any intention of it leading somewhere. It’s a kiss just to kiss, to enjoy each other.

And god, does he enjoy it.

He melts into the kiss, moving his hands up from Jungkook’s waist and up to he back of his head, twining in his hair. His wet hands in Jungkook’s still dry hair leave the strands feeling damp under his fingers. They press kiss after kiss against each other’s lips, only with the occasional nip and lick inside. When Yoongi trails his tongue across Jungkook’s lip ring, Jungkook lets out a content sigh, then moves down to wrap around Yoongi’s waist, enveloping him in his hold.

Jungkook pecks Yoongi’s lips once, twice, then moves to press a lingering kiss to the underside of Yoongi’s jaw. He lets up then, Yoongi opening his eyes to meet Jungkook’s, the smile warm on Jungkook’s lips as he gazes at him.

“Turn around, love, let me wash you,” Jungkook requests, turning him around.

“I can wash myself,” Yoongi feels the need to point out.

“Let me have this.”

And who is Yoongi to argue with that.

Jungkook leans across the shower to reach for a bottle of shampoo, opening the cap, pouring some of it into his hands, then rubbing them together until there’s suds.

“Tilt your head back,” he asks with a quiet voice, like the space between them now is something sacred, not to be disturbed.

It feels that way to Yoongi.

He tilts his head back.

Jungkook proceeds to gently massage the shampoo into Yoongi’s scalp; he hums at the pleasant sensation. Letting Jungkook work it into his hair for a few moments, Yoongi enjoys the content silence before feeling the need to speak.

“Jungkook,” he gets his attention.

“Hm?” Jungkook confirms, leaning to the side of Yoongi’s face so he can see his face properly.

“Thank you,” he says.

The words feel too simple for the magnitude of Yoongi’s feelings, for the thoughts running through his head now. The amount of gratitude he feels for how well Jungkook has taken care of him, that it was everything he had ever possibly hoped for his first time and more. But it’s all the words he has.

“You don’t need to thank me,” Jungkook says, tilting his head with a smile. “Yoongi,” he says. “I loved helping you.”

And it’s enough for now. Yoongi feels warm with it, smiling to himself.

The rest of the shower moves with a quiet care. Jungkook rinses out the shampoo from Yoongi’s hair, using a hand to protect any of the suds from going into Yoongi’s eyes. He runs conditioner through it, rinses it. Then he washes Yoongi’s body with gentle hands, moving his limbs delicately as he rubs the body wash into his skin.

The longer it goes on, the more Yoongi feels the fondness bubbling up in him, a smile involuntarily growing on his lips. After finally rinsing everything off, Jungkook returns to looking at Yoongi’s face and seems surprised to see the bright expression.

“What?” Jungkook asks, visibly happy as his gaze flits across Yoongi’s content expression.

Yoongi breaks the eye contact as he looks down, shaking his head minutely, just to himself. The smile never leaves his lips.

“It’s nothing,” he says through the smile. “Come here, let me wash you too,” Yoongi insists.

“Yeah?” Smile still on his face, damn near beaming now.

Yoongi simply indulges himself in a lingering look at Jungkook’s glowing face before wordlessly switching their places under the stream of water. He proceeds to copy Jungkook in gathering the shampoo in his hand, but rather than being turned around as Yoongi had been, Jungkook seems perfectly content to proceed while watching Yoongi directly.

Yoongi takes it in stride, slightly reaching up to wash Jungkook’s now fully wet hair, Jungkook leans his head down to help ease his access. Jungkook’s eyes flutter shut for a moment as Yoongi massages in the soap, but he opens them soon after in favor of training his eyes back on him. Yoongi pointedly ignores the stare, but he can’t help but feel the way he becomes slightly shy under it.

They finish up and Jungkook leads them out, grabbing a towel and thoroughly drying Yoongi off, slowly moving from his hair to his body in an attentive, tender way. Yoongi lets him do it, not wanting to protest at this point, even just out of courtesy. Sue him, he enjoys the way Jungkook takes care of him; it’s sweet and gentle and—fuck.

It’s something he needed more than he knew.

“You know,” Jungkook starts while finishing drying off Yoongi’s arms. “I know I said it during sex, but I meant it,” Jungkook looks at him. “You’re really beautiful, hyung.”

Hearing it now feels like a completely different experience than how he had ever heard it before. Not only in relation to now versus during sex, because he’s certain Jungkook has called him pretty even before then, but now, after everything. It feels like more. It’s different now. He feels his heart flutter.

“And you,” Yoongi insists in turn. “You’re so beautiful, Jungkook,” he says. And he means it, he means it in so many more ways than just physically.

There’s a quiet, eyes locking, then they move on.

Jungkook dries himself off in a much more brisk fashion, almost amusing in its contrast to the unhurried and careful way he took care of Yoongi. But then they’re back in Jungkook’s bedroom, and he’s fumbling in his drawers to find some clothes for the both of them. Jungkook tugs on a pair of briefs, then brings over the clothes he grabbed for Yoongi.

“Sorry if it’s a little big,” Jungkook offers as he hands him one of his shirts. One of the shirts that he knows is baggy even on Jungkook.

Jungkook does not look sorry.

“It’s fine,” Yoongi assures, fighting a smile.

He considers pointing it out, but he finds it amusingly endearing enough to simply let off.

Pulling on the shirt and briefs, he pointedly ignores the absolutely glowing expression on Jungkook’s face when the shirt is obviously too big on him, comically slipping off his shoulders. Jungkook happily replaces the blanket on the bed, repeatedly eyeing Yoongi as he does so.

Jungkook pulls back the new blanket, climbing in, then moving over, opening a space beside him. Yoongi watches him.

“You coming?” he lightly laughs when Yoongi remains standing there, still.

“Shush,” he mumbles just loud enough for Jungkook to hear.

Yoongi climbs into the bed.

Without hesitation, Jungkook wraps Yoongi in his arms, covering him completely. While he appreciated the shirt Jungkook got him, the soft material feeling pleasant against his skin, even despite the ulterior motives, he feels grateful that Jungkook didn’t put one on himself. He enjoys the way he can lay his head down on Jungkook’s bare chest, feel the warmth of his skin against his cheek.

He feels the comfortable lull fall between them, no words needing to be spoken as they lie together, fully intertwined. Yoongi draws aimless shapes against Jungkook’s skin, traces his tattoos, liking the feeling of Jungkook’s skin under his hand more than anything else. Jungkook holds him close, rubbing a hand along his back, his head buried in Yoongi’s hair as he breathes him in.

After some time, Jungkook squeezes Yoongi once, breaks the hold slightly to lean across from Yoongi to turn off the lamp, then settles more firmly into the bed and pillows, wrapping his arm firmly around Yoongi once again, tugging him in. The dark surrounds them, but it’s nice. There’s nothing Yoongi would change about this moment.

“Goodnight, Yoongi,” Jungkook murmurs quietly against Yoongi’s hair, reverent.

“Goodnight.”

He smiles, and in the darkness, it’s just for himself.

–

Yoongi finds himself dragged back into consciousness at the feeling of pecking kisses being pressed against his face. It’s incredibly disorienting. Yoongi scrunches his face in confusion, heavy eyes still closed, not quite ready to open.

“What?” he asks groggily, a general sentiment of confusion rather than directed at anyone.

A chuckle.

The pecking kisses continue being pressed to his face, Yoongi groaning in further confusion before prying his eyes open to assess whatever the hell is going on. He’s met with the sight of Jungkook, having just pressed a kiss to Yoongi’s cheekbone, coming up and finally meeting Yoongi’s now open eyes.

Jungkook’s eyes are bright and happy, and the way Yoongi’s heart flutters in his chest is the wake-up call he needed as his lagging mind catches up to the situation. Now, he’s pleasantly surprised, not having expected Jungkook to remain so openly affectionate even the morning after. Only bothering with that brief pause as they met eyes, Jungkook is back to kissing Yoongi’s face.

He can tell that Jungkook is enjoying the simple fact that he’s allowed to do this, and it’s precious. Yoongi allows him to go on for a few more kisses before he moves his hand to Jungkook’s head, stopping him by ruffling his hair in an affectionately familiar way. Jungkook stops to meet Yoongi’s eyes again, and the look he’s giving Yoongi is utterly enamored, practically glowing at Yoongi’s easy reciprocation of affection. It brings him pause, using the hand that’s already in Jungkook’s hair to now stroke his hair slowly.

Their eyes stay locked together for a few moments more before Jungkook leans fully down to lay a kiss fully on his lips. Yoongi lets out a breath, his other hand moving up to hold Jungkook’s face. They have a slow slide of lips, almost exploratory, like this new day warrants a new kind of hesitation.

“I made you coffee,” Jungkook murmurs against his lips.

“You did?” Yoongi asks, surprised.

“Mhm,” he drags out the sound, still pressed against Yoongi’s lips. “Decaf,” he adds, because of course he’s thoughtful enough to consider Yoongi’s aversion to caffeinated coffee.

Jungkook pecks him once more, tucks a strand of Yoongi’s hair behind his ear, then settles in next to Yoongi on the bed. Sleepily, Yoongi hauls himself upright until he’s sitting next to Jungkook, finding himself quickly pulled in and tucked beneath Jungkook’s arm. Yoongi glances back to Jungkook, almost in question, but Jungkook hardly even looks sheepish. He simply gazes back at Yoongi in such a soft way, seeming to be taking in Yoongi’s sleepy face. The longer Yoongi easily goes along with Jungkook’s whims, the more encouraged Jungkook seems to be, taking full advantage of every piece of affection he can draw from Yoongi.

Once Yoongi is entirely pressed against Jungkook, he hands Yoongi his cup. Yoongi thanks him quietly, genuinely grateful as he takes a sip, letting the heat of it soothe him.

It’s not like Jungkook has never made him coffee before. Plenty of the members have. It’s just—it feels different. Nothing about the action may have changed, but because Yoongi feels different, the whole action fills him with a warmth far deeper than the hot coffee in his hands ever could.

He shuffles back comfortably against Jungkook, settling in, and allows himself to relish in the contentment he feels. He just lost his virginity, and yet, the only thing he can think about is how throughout the whole thing, Jungkook was there: sweet, attentive, gentle. Jungkook has taken care of Yoongi more than he could have possibly fathomed, and even now, he’s here in the morning showering Yoongi in a kind of easy affection that Yoongi has never experienced before.

This is Jungkook, the Jungkook he’s always known. He’s playful, hardworking, and beautifully tenderhearted. And yet, he’s also sweet and careful in the way he kisses Yoongi, like he’s something precious to be taken care of. He’s gentle in the way he opened Yoongi up, how he fucked him, how he took care of him after. Every single moment they spent together last night was absolutely drenched in Jungkook’s tender affection. It’s still the Jungkook he’s always known, but he’s also so much more.

And Yoongi knows.

He knows he can’t go back to how it was before.

Yoongi breathes shakily, disguising the sound with another sip of his coffee. Jungkook remains blissfully unaware of Yoongi’s inner turmoil as they sit beside each other.

It’s terrifying, completely and entirely. Honestly, Yoongi hardly wants to think about it, what the consequences could be, yet he knows he can’t avoid it. He thinks he’d break himself apart if he doesn’t at least get it out in the open now, that if Jungkook wants this to have just been one night, Jungkook will have to proceed with all their future interactions keeping in mind Yoongi’s feelings for him.

Let Yoongi try to salvage his own heart.

He does know Jungkook cares for him, there’s no doubt about that. Yoongi never would have laid his heart open like he had if the years’ worth of trust between them wasn’t strongly established. But maybe that’s all it was. Yoongi bared his heart, Jungkook took care of him, because of course he did—he even seemed to enjoy helping him, like the saint he is—and Yoongi caught feelings practically overnight.

Like a fool.

He can’t fault himself, though, Jungkook makes it so easy. If anything, he’s more surprised it took him this long, it feels so obvious to him now.

Resigned to his fate, Yoongi allows himself a few more moments to bask in the easy affection between them. He twists his head until it’s buried in Jungkook’s neck and breathes him in. He doesn’t know if he’ll be able experience this again. Jungkook presses a kiss to Yoongi’s head, and he can feel the way he’s smiling against him.

It aches.

“Jungkook,” Yoongi starts.

“What is it, love?”

Oh well fuck Yoongi then—oh my god. He closes his eyes.

“I don’t,” he pauses. “Jungkook, I don’t think I can go back to how we were before. Not after last night.”

He lays it on the table. No sugarcoating.

“What do you mean?” Jungkook replies, his tone so carefully neutral.

Yoongi feels like it’s obvious, but he indulges, he lets go.

“I just,” he sighs, coming out from Jungkook’s neck as he sets his coffee down. “It was perfect. It was everything I ever wanted for that moment and more, and you were perfect, and I think I fell for you like a fucking fool, and you’re just so beautiful, Jungkook, and I—”

Yoongi’s rambling is cut off by the press of Jungkook’s lips. It’s insistent and hard, and honestly a kind of bad angle, but it’s so good. Yoongi is immediately grasping for Jungkook’s face, needing it, needing him. The kiss feels like sunlight settling on his skin, warming over him at every place they touch. It feels like relief.

“Oh thank god, fuck,” Jungkook lets out, the words sounding like they’ve been liberated. Jungkook presses another quick kiss to Yoongi’s lips, his hands smoothing down Yoongi’s face in a near frantic way that seems to be more for himself than Yoongi. “I was so worried, oh my god,” he repeats, head now hanging. He almost sounds like he’s about to cry, which has Yoongi’s heart dropping down to his stomach like a brick.

Yoongi reaches his own hands to Jungkook’s face, tilting it back up to look at him. “Hey, hey, what? Why were you worried? What’s wrong?” Yoongi asks in a rush, tilting his own head down to meet Jungkook’s eyes when tilting his up head hadn’t worked.

“You were so pretty, hyung” Jungkook starts, like it pains him. “So perfect, and the whole time all I could think about was how I wanted more of this, more of you, I didn’t want it to end and I couldn’t imagine letting you go after last night. I was so scared you were going to want to leave first thing this morning, hell, I think you almost leaving last night shaved a whole year off my life from the stress, actually, so thanks for that, I—” he cuts himself off. “What are you doing?” Jungkook asks. “Stop smiling at me like that,” Jungkook tries to sound offended but can’t withhold his own grin while looking at Yoongi’s big, gummy smile that had grown on his face the longer Jungkook went on.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he laughs. “No, please go on.”

“You know what, I don’t think I will actually,” Jungkook jokes. “I think you’re enjoying my pain, that’s very mean,” he jokingly scolds.

Not a single part of Yoongi wants to scold him back.

Yoongi laughs outright. He sags in relief, fully turning towards Jungkook now so he can embrace him properly, arms wrapping around his neck. Jungkook seems all too happy to return the gesture, encircling Yoongi’s waist with his arms and tightly holding him, hand stroking his back and holding his head.

The comfort is overwhelming in its entirety. He feels so ridiculously fond of Jungkook that he’s drowning in it. Whatever direction he was hoping this conversation would take, he hadn’t truly allowed himself to hope for the best-case scenario, but he was living in it. He lays in his arms for a while longer, wanting to elongate this moment for as long as it’ll last, but as is inevitable, he comes back to the present.

“So now what?” Yoongi asks, leaning back a bit with his arms still around Jungkook’s neck.

Even though they may want this, there are so many more logistics to consider, things to work out and talk about. How they want to do this.

Jungkook kisses him sweetly.

“Now,” Jungkook emphasizes, smiling, “I think I’m going to make you breakfast.”

Jungkook presses another kiss to Yoongi’s lips and begins to get out of bed, walking out of the bedroom, simply expecting that Yoongi will follow.

It’s surreal, but in the end, it’s simple.

Whatever happens, they’ll figure it out, they’ll be fine.

He joins Jungkook.

Notes:

okay but honestly man idek what happened here... one moment im trying to work on a long fic, the next i'm seeing an edit of metlife yoonkook and am suddenly 20k words deep in a one shot that was not supposed to be more than 5k MAX 😭😭

i hope you enjoyed...? i will try to work on that vampire au long fic again, so stay tuned if you’d like i suppose

anyways, thank you god for metlife d1 yoonkook, i owe you my life

my twitter if you'd like to come say hi :)