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The night, Roy would describe later, was akin to the time and space between when a firework lit and when it exploded. Tense, full of anticipation, and it was all he could do to hold his breath.
Then the fireworks lit up the sky.
Bright and beautiful, dancing with Riza under the stars, the buzz of drinks and sounds of their allies, their friends letting loose and taking one night off from the terrible nightmare that was their life. Because this was it; they were celebrating the end of a horrible time. And sure- sure Roy had wanted to go to his apartment, which had been empty for years, drink some rum or vodka and lose himself to the numbness. lose himself like those innocent people had lost their- But no. Maes had dragged him by the collar. Throwing him into the field that only hosted the soldiers he had mentally adopted. A young radio cadet, Furey. Havoc, someone whose dry humor and quick-wittedness had kept Roy sane on the missions he had been given this past year. The blonde beside him, keeping his team alive. Even Breda, his information broker who somehow got dragged into his own, and of course, his best friend and brother Maes.
And her.
So they danced. They danced and drank and laughed. Their joy and relief of being free settled over them like a weighted blanket, and for one single second, Roy could breathe. The giddy happiness was catching like the plague that had swept through the towns of late.
Roy and Riza were the first to head off, leaving Havoc and Maes to their game of charades, which Maes was most certainly cheating at by how loud Breda had been laughing. Even the timid Fuery was clutching his stomach, tears in his eyes as he leaned into Breda's side. The two were trying to stay upright. The mass only gave him and Riza sloppy salutes. Maes winked with a 'Führer Mustang,' which gained him snickers, but the trio quickly mimicked him.
Both Riza and Roy stumbled back to their shared room, happily drunk as they giggled over the men who had quickly become theirs. Roy whispered how he was going to blackmail Grummen into letting him keep them. Maybe not Hughes though. Riza threw her head back and laughed, an act that nearly drew Roy to a dead stop because- she was beautiful. The war had tried to squish that light from her. Yet- yet here they were. The other side of hell. Somehow alive. With Riza shining just as bright as she had been before the war.
It was when giggles turned to whispers, leaning against each other turned to soft touches that Roy found himself leaning closer to Riza, her knowing eyes softening in the moonlit light. And the yearning mirrored in both of their bodies was what slowed the fireworks to a wisp of smoke.
Riza gently pressed a hand to his lips, her breath feathering his face. Roy opened his eyes, letting them roam her face, looking for any kind of discomfort or unease, but… instead he found something that somehow hurt more.
"We can't."
"No one has to know." He whispered back, desperation slipping through the cracks. Riza looked heartbroken but shook her head, an apologetic smile on her lips.
"But we would." Roy's breath caught. A sudden urge to cry took him off guard. Instead, he took a deep breath, and he reached up, gently brushing over Riza's cheek. Her eyes never once left his. But he could see how her body automatically leaned into his touch. It would be so easy. So easy to cross that line.
With a sad smile, Roy stepped back.
"Perhaps it's time to choose new dreams." He commented as casually as someone commenting on the weather, despite knowing the weight his words held. But Riza scoffed, her eyes narrowing.
"You know it isn't." Roy inclined his head almost reluctantly. The unspoken truth hung between them like a noose. He would give it all up for her, and she would never forgive him for it. A lose-lose situation. Even if they tried, Riza would blame herself, and Roy would spiral. The two drowning themselves in misery, losing themselves in the process of trying.
The smoke swept away in the wind.
Boundaries being drawn, and neither of them willing to cross them. Not for the price.
And so, that night they slept as close as they dared. Knowing tomorrow the bubble of happiness would shatter, and they would have to deal with reality. Roy would have to face the sins he burnt, whilst Riza would need to deal with the corpses she left behind. But most of all, they would need to ignore the tension between them. A craving neither could bear to give in to. But if for tonight, their hands found each other's in their dreams… well, no one needed to know.
Years passed and the duo carried on as usual. Publicly distanced as a colonel and lieutenant should be. But privately they toed that boundary, dancing a dangerous game, waiting to see who fell first. Every brush of skin, every private moment shared, the looks that would get more heated, and Roy felt his resolve crumble just a little. But each time, he would step forward, and Riza would fall one step behind. Colonel and their lieutenant. They rose in ranks. And Roy focused himself on clawing closer to his dreams.
But one by one, the pillars he had built began to fall.
He gained two kids, the strangest and most recent adopted into his little group after he had nabbed Falman. Alphonse would talk with Fuery for hours about radios and cats. Falman having in-depth chats with Edward. Havoc and the boys playing around, Havoc being a big brother to the Elrics in ways that even Roy had to laugh sometimes. Breda taking them aside and teaching them lifehacks with a wink. Riza taking the boys out for dinner as they would talk about random things, Edward coming to Roy whenever he needed to blow off steam. The both of them sparing with words, an amusement that perhaps not many would understand, but it worked for them. Alphonse coming to him whenever he needed to feel human again, Roy doing his best to give them anything they needed. And slowly it truly felt like Team Mustang had never been without the brothers. These two fiery souls soon became a solid part of their family. Each one of them willing to sacrifice their lives to keep the young souls burning bright. Roy right there at the forefront, fighting tooth and nail to protect his kids.
And yet- and yet life did not allow such graces.
He watched in a muted coldnessas Edward's eyes darkened with the loss of Nina. He felt how Alphonse grew colder, more reluctant to open up. And yet, Roy did his best. He stood strong for his boys. Giving them as much hope and support as he could without being overheard, knowing the military would take any affection as a weakness, and he- they couldn't afford that. So he worked behind the scenes. He nudged them towards that which they seek. But it had changed them. And Roy knew that life would keep throwing shit at them, but he was determined not to fail them. Not again.
A phone call.
Then, Maes was found in a phone booth.
The pillar that had held him up from day one fell hard and fast. His best friend. His brother was gone, dead, murdered. Roy had held himself strong for the funeral, for Gracia and Elicia. But- Roy wasn't a robot.
Only in the safety of his apartment did Roy finally let go of that strength. Roy sobbed in Riza's arms in the dead of night. She alone was there to see how his heart shattered into thousands of pieces. Alone did Riza help put him back together again, cradling his fragile heart with gentle hands and soft tears.
But the cries of Elicia followed him to the bottom of his drink till the first rays of light.
From there, things only got worse and spun out of control.
One by one, his pieces were taken.
Edward and Alphonse on a path he couldn't assist with, danger around every corner, Havoc wheelchair bound, the rest of his team scattered to the wind. And his queen. His beautiful, strong queen being kept far from his grasp, dead center in the enemies' hands. Right beside Führer Bradley. Leaving him alone, defenceless, and terrified.
Check.
But he hadn't chosen his team for nothing. They worked in the shadows. Using every connection and favor Roy had garnered. Roy plotted a historic coup against the military and the demons hidden behind the blue. And they succeeded. Literally fighting against a god, starting a civil war, killing monsters, you know- the usual Friday night shenanigans.
Yet-
The Taboo.
Roy had never felt so violated in his entire life. disgusted. pathetic. useless. And Riza- Riza stood there with a blood-soaked neck, pale, clammy. A breath away from death. She could have died; she could have died, and Roy couldn't do anything to stop it. His queen had nearly been taken.
And Roy? Well…
Roy snapped.
The tightrope they had been balancing on for years snapped. And it was Roy who made the first move.
They were in the hospital; Roy had just finished making his rounds on the team. Havoc and Breda were already having arm wrestling tournaments with Falman as their judge, Fuery in the corner fiddling with another radio he somehow got a hold of. (Roy couldn't bring himself to question how the man had gotten that one past the nurses, but the grin bordering on manic had Roy dreading the answer, so he tactfully ignored it.) Even Olivier and Alex were making a full recovery, Olivier content in barking orders to the grief-laden Northern briggs soldiers, and chatting with a normal housewife.
Roy was moving on and making sure Edward and Alphonse were okay. Alphonse, the beautiful, perfect boy, was whole again. And getting actually to hug him? Feeling his kid breathe in his arms, warm and safe? Well, even Ed couldn't fault the tears. And Edward! Roy didn't think he could be any prouder of his boys. And he made sure they knew it. Perhaps it had taken much longer than he meant it to, but he finally left their rooms, heading for the last person on his list now that he knew the rest of his people were safe.
He pushed open the door, ignoring the cock of her gun as Riza blinked over at him before the realisation hit and she sighed, placing the gun beneath her pillow. Roy just watched her in the darkness of the room, only lit by the moonlight that slipped through the blinds. The bandages on Riza's neck stood out against her skin, and Roy swallowed. Between blinks, the white replaced with red. Riza said his name with only a hint of concern, her voice snapping him back to reality, and Roy sighed, taking a seat beside her. His hand automatically reached for hers. The woman returned his grip, as if she too needed to know he was right here. Alive.
"I can't keep pretending not to love you." Riza tensed, trying to pull her hand back, but Roy kept his grip. Refusing to let her put distance between them. Not now. Not again. Riza's expression tightened, and she glanced away towards the door.
"Roy…" He shook his head.
"Let me finish." Riza glanced back, looking unhappy but kept her lips sealed. He took that as permission to continue and went on. He tried to find the words around the lump in his throat. "We've never once denied the fact that we love each other. And I would usually be content to keep the charade up between us, but this time I-" His voice caught, and Riza's expression softened, her hands turning so she could hold his more comfortably. Her eyes were only for him. Yet his own wandered down to the bandages. "I've never been so scared," he finally admitted.
"Me too," She said softly. Roy let out a humorous chuckle. His fingers curled around her wrist, fingers pressing into her pulse. The steady beat grounding him.
"I nearly lost you." He whispered. "I nearly lost you, and all I could think of was I hadn't told you I loved you. And that-" the words failed, and Roy fell silent. His eyes fell to their hands. He wasn't truly sure that words could describe the pain and heartbreak at losing the one that held his heart. He had already lost his brother. To lose Riza as well? Roy couldn't imagine a harsher agony. He didn't think he could carry on without her.
Silence fell between them. Only their breathing and the faint hospital buzz could be heard.
He wasn't too sure how long they stayed in each other's company. Roy knew Riza was thinking, and well- he was a little worried about what she would decide. He wasn't stupid. It was still illegal even with the plans to make Grumman the Führer, but, well, they could try and keep the fraternising between their team. They already knew he was in love with Riza… but if she said no. Roy would back off. Of course he would. But he wasn't sure he would be able to stitch that part of his heart back together.
Finally, Riza took a breath.
"You aren't the only one who was scared." Roy lifted his head, but couldn't yet meet her gaze. "When they pinned you down- forced you to-" Her breath cut off with a sob, and Roy's eyes snapped up. Riza was barely holding back tears, looking at him like Roy was about to disappear. He was moving before he could process anything, instantly lunging forward and wrapping his arms around her. Riza clung just as tightly to him, her body shaking.
She didn't cry.
As ever, Riza was stronger than he was.
"We nearly lost each other." She whispered so quietly he had to strain to hear her despite her lips close to his ear. "And my biggest regret was never allowing us." Roy felt his pulse pick up, and he pulled back to look at Riza carefully. The sheen in her eyes was distracting, but there was no evidence of the tension that had been there to begin with. No look of apology, not even one of worry. Just… acceptance.
oh.
oh.
He swallowed and stared at her, his eyes flicking down to her lips before lifting back up to catch her gaze. A single question in his eyes. Riza's lips quirked up in a smile, and she lifted a hand to cradle his face. The action left him breathless, and he could tell his cheeks were bright red. She brushed over his cheek with such tender care that Roy nearly started bawling then and there.
Even with explicit permission, Roy just couldn't bring himself to make the first move, and Riza could see it plain as day. Roy had played his turn; now it was in her hands. And hers alone. She chuckled lightly and tugged him forward.
Her lips caught his.
Roy could say confidently and unbashfully that he had dreamt of this. Well, perhaps more than just a kiss, but even so. That barely held a flame to what it actually felt like. Rather than the fireworks he had been expecting, their lips moved together like pieces of a puzzle that belonged together. The warmth in his chest felt like the hearth that one would return to.
Kissing Riza was like coming home.
As it turned out, admitting they loved each other and finally giving into their affection was less of a change than they had thought it would be. In fact, Roy would argue with a pout that nothing had changed. No scandalous office time, nor being dragged into a cupboard for some alone time. No. They just kept going. Riza still threatened him to do the paperwork he hated, rolled her eyes when he flirted with her, and the team didn't notice a single thing. The only thing that changed was that once they were home roy could freely kiss and touch Riza, dragging her into cuddles and loving rants about alchemy. Falling into bed with each other and waking up wrapped around each other.
In fact, the only big thing that did change was the fact that Riza moved into his house, and she wasn't the only one. Once Ed and Alphonse were healed enough, they decided to visit their hometown for a couple of months before Edward got bored and the duo decided to move to Central. Taking a shot at university.
And perhaps a year later, Riza would roll her eyes at Roy and dig out the adoption papers he had kept hidden for years, taking a pen and signing them before leaving them on the table for the Elrics to see. Roy had anxiously waited for the blow-up, but Edward took one look at the papers, snorted, then signed them with a grumble of "'Bout time, bastard." None of them mentioned how his ears were bright red, nor the fact that Alphonse had teared up and 'accidentally' fallen into Roy's arms for a hug.
And not even a year later, the fraternisation rules were demolished; by a smug-looking grumman who had ordered Roy to his office as he sat at his desk, saying in no terms would they be allowed to marry without him officiating the wedding. Roy had laughed so hard before agreeing, and he challenged the old man to a game of chess like old times.
The night, Roy would describe later, was akin to the space between when a firework lit and when it exploded. Tense, full of anticipation, and it was all he could do to hold his breath as Riza, dressed head to toe in white, walked down the aisle. Alphonse beside her, and Edward stood beside him. He could feel his tears falling freely as he took in how ethereal she looked. His vows were a mess whilst hers were perfect.
Obviously.
Roy's eyes slid over to the empty seat beside Gracia, who gave him a soft, sad smile. He knew Maes would be proud of them all; he would probably be standing beside him as his best man, sobbing louder than him and embarrassing him. Grumman finished with a grin and a wink.
"You may now kiss the groom." Roy laughed, and Riza smiled, dragging him down into a kiss.
Fireworks lit up the sky.