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Lights shone through the window as it illuminated the kitchen counters currently littered with empty red plastic cups, each cup had some black ink written on it with the names of random people. The scent of the home was filled with alcohol that burned his nostrils as he made his way pushing against people in the crowd. He walked to the main area of the home and his eyes lingered on the beautiful strawberry blond strands as he saw the man that he has been in love with for over a year with a fellow classmate obviously flirting with him.
Akutagawa knew that falling in love was useless and that his studies should always come first, but this man this dazzling man that never failed to make Akutagawa smirk broke through his rough exterior and made him feel loved. So loved that he went to a party knowing that he was there when normally Akutagawa would be at home reading a book for his literature class.
Chuuya went closer to the classmate as he reached for his cup of beer and his arm brushed against the others, the classmate turned their head up to look at Chuuya and they stared deeply into each other’s eyes. Akutagawa knew he should look away but he couldn’t, his hands started shaking as he held his bottle of water as he saw the classmate lean into Chuuya’s face.
Of course Chuuya the most popular man in the frat at college would never even dare date a guy like Akutagawa, the sickly nuisance that is too standoffish that most of the girls and guys avoid at all costs.
He ran through the crowd of people and out onto the balcony to get some fresh air, the stars shining bright in the sky as he looked up. He took a deep breath as he looked down at the streets below booming with parties as it’s a college dorm house area. His throat was dry as his body filled with raging jealousy, jealousy for that classmate that got to take Chuuya’s lips on his own, jealousy over someone being worthy enough for Chuuya to warrant his attention.
He unscrewed the cap off of his water bottle and took a deep gulp of the water and hissed out a quiet ’fuck’ as he threw the bottle on the floor and sat on the ground. Akutagawa regretted coming to this party badly. Just as he was about to stand up to leave he heard the door slide open and he looked around to see who entered the balcony. It was Chuuya, the last person he wanted to see after his slight breakdown.
He stood up and turned around to face him wiping off the water from his mouth and dusting off the dirt from the floor off of his black denim jacket and pants. Chuuya was holding a red cup filled with most likely beer and in between his fingers he also held a pack of cigarettes. “Mind if I take a smoke?” That question rang in Akutagawa’s skull as he was still embarrassed being seen in that pathetic state by the guy he likes.
He stared at him for longer than he should have and then looked away from him finally regaining his composure to deliver an answer. “Yes you may, I can leave.” Just as Akutagawa was about to pass him Chuuya stopped him by saying “Nah stay.” Akutagawa did as he said and stayed. The temperature outside was a nice cool breeze.
Chuuya set his cup of beer down on the railing as he took one cigarette out of the pack, Akutagawa watched the entire time seeing how the cigarette laid in between his lips the same pair that one person has kissed and the one he wishes he could capture for himself. He looked away and grabbed the railing tightly, Chuuya notices and scoots closer to him.
“Did you want a cigarette? I have enough to share.” Akutagawa didn’t want the cigarette rather the person the cigarette was attached too but he wasn’t going to say that so he looked at him gently shaking his head ‘no’. Chuuya looked forward at the sky and spoke out, “You have never smoked have you? Do you want to try my cigarette?”
Akutagawa has never smoked in his life due to his chronic illness but at this current moment he disregarded it in favor of taking a drag of the cigarette Chuuya’s lips touched. “I wouldn’t be opposed to trying yours.” Chuuya laughed at the formal way of speech done by Akutagawa as he took the cigarette out of his mouth and gave it to Akutagawa.
Akutagawa held it up to his lips gently resting it in between as he took a slow breath he felt the cigarette smoke fill his mouth and throat, it felt murky and a slight burn seeped down his esophagus. It tasted thick and slightly bitter a flavor that he has never tasted before. When he took the cigarette out of his mouth he blew out the smoke and a large cloud flew in the breeze. He gave the cigarette back to Chuuya.
“So how was it?” Akutagawa looked at him and coughed as it began to irritate his lungs, Chuuya moved closer to him and gently rubbed his back to help him as his coughing fit continued. Akutagawa covered his mouth with his elbow and as he noticed it easing he leaned upwards and walked back. “It’s just a coughing flare up nothing to fret over.” Chuuya grabbed his cup of beer and handed it to Akutagawa. “Take a drink of this, it might help your throat.”
Akutagawa looked down at the beverage and then looked back up to Chuuya’s face filled with concern. “I highly doubt beer would help soothe my throat, but I appreciate the gesture.” Akutagawa gave the cup back to him and then went back to looking at the sky, Chuuya looked at him as he began smoking his cigarette again. Akutagawa’s face silhouette was enhanced by the moonlight. Chuuya looked at his hair it was short and ink black with white tips in the front. A very unique hairstyle for a literature student.
Chuuya knew who Akutagawa was prior to this party, he saw him do multiple presentations at the university for the fellow literature classmates. Akutagawa always spoke in a sharp manner with very little regard for feelings, but one day Chuuya walked past the classroom Akutagawa was in and heard him saying a poem. His voice as he spoke showed a clear sign of pain, like his whole heart was ripped out of his chest and laid bare. That moment was the moment Chuuya fell for him.
He knew Akutagawa wouldn’t like him because they are from whole different worlds, one full of loneliness and isolation the other full of parties and getting drunk kissing random strangers at clubs. So when he saw Akutagawa walk by as he was kissing a random classmate he rushed to go follow him. Hoping he wouldn’t think he is a taken man and he desperately needed to clear the air. But now he is so close to Akutagawa and he took a smoke of his own cigarette, the one currently in his mouth. He craves more than just this. He wants Akutagawa to kiss him so badly and lay his heart bare onto him like that one poem.
Akutagawa turned his head to face Chuuya as he saw the moonlight hit Chuuya’s beautiful blue eyes, they shone like stained glass. Chuuya moved closer and their shoulders hit each other. Chuuya unlit his cigarette and put it on the ash tray, now using his free hand he brought it up to Akutagawa’s cheek gently pushing his hair behind his ear. He leaned in close to his face their noses gently brushing each other. Akutagawa can feel and smell his breath the scent was not bad to him even though it was the smell of alcohol and cigarettes. Akutagawa swallowed and leaned in more, their lips gently touching but not fully connected.
“May I kiss you?” Was said by Chuuya, Akutagawa breathed out “Yes.” And that was it their lips connected in a gentle kiss. It was utterly perfect, Akutagawa tasted of herbal tea it was very pleasant compared to his own beer taste. Akutagawa lifted his arm up to Chuuya’s head grabbing the back of it to pull him in deeper. Chuuya was pleasantly surprised by Akutagawa’s eagerness to have him closer. The pull of his hair caused him to groan out in pleasure. Akutagawa enjoyed hearing that as he began increasing the pace of the kiss from a gentle one to one full of passion. He bit Chuuya’s lower lip and moaned out as he inserted his tongue into his mouth.
The sensation sent chills down Chuuya’s spine and he gasped out as he lost his breath, he wrapped his arms around Akutagawa’s neck to help keep him balanced due to their hight difference. Once they finally parted both of their faces were flushed and they both were panting trying to collect their breaths.
“Fuck, you kiss hard.” Chuuya spoke out as Akutagawa covered his mouth looking away from him. “I got ahead of myself apologies.” Chuuya grabbed his arm pulling him back into a second kiss, Akutagawa’s eyes opened wide in shock as he assumed Chuuya would walk away from him to find someone less intense and eager than him. Chuuya pulled back and looked around to see if anyone was watching, there was no one else around so he put his hands up Akutagawa’s t-shirt feeling the way his skin stretched around his waist tightly. It sent a rush of arousal down to Chuuya’s groin.
“What are you doing?!? We are on the balcony of a random persons home.” Akutagawa groaned out as his body filled with goosebumps. “I have craved feeling you for so long…” Akutagawa paused and took a step backward. “What do you mean by that?” Akutagawa couldn’t wrap his head around that a man like Chuuya would ever wish to feel the body of a sickly man like him. Chuuya’s body was toned not buff but toned and he had sun kissed skin with freckles, he looked alive while he looked like a corpse at deaths door.
“Your poem you read one day during one of your classes, it was so beautiful. The way your voice sounded as you spoke so full of emotion. It hit me hard. Ever since then I have been sneaking glances of your presentations and reading your poems you post on the college forums. I have been craving having a taste of your passion directed at me.” Akutagawa was speechless. Chuuya the man that he saw as a beacon of light saw him as that as well.
“I have been craving you for sometime as well, ever since I saw the way you smiled at me while I did one of my presentations my heart felt warm. I never thought a human being could make me feel like that.”
They both stared at each other as the realization that they both are idiots sunk in. “Man every single time I would kiss someone I would imagine it as you.” Akutagawa looked away and responded back. “I wrote so many poems about your smile in my free time.”
They both walked closer to each others and Chuuya reached up to grab Akutagawa’s face as Akutagawa grabbed Chuuya’s hands. “Would you like to go on a date with me Akutagawa?” Akutagawa closed his eyes and leaned downward capturing his lips in his own, he pulled back and said “Yes of course I would like to go on a date with you.”
Both full of happiness as they finally secured the thing they wanted most.