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how do i know you feel it (how do i know it’s true)

Summary:

Willow is scared of her own anatomy. Michaela shows her that she shouldn’t be.

Notes:

hi! i have never written fic before and this has no beta :-) so if it sucks that’s none of my business!!! lesbyler for life!!! idk how to tag okay bye i’m posting this into the ether. pls comment if you like this or think i should continue. i wrote this partially during a lunch break on my phone and right now with a pounding headache <3 the things we do for lesbyler

title is from the downtown lights by the blue nile

Work Text:

It all started because Willow had heard a group of art students on campus talking about figure drawing and anatomy. She had overheard them saying that some vaginas were plain unpleasant to look at. She couldn’t believe she was hearing this from fellow artists who in her opinion, should be the ones to appreciate the human body the most. Either way, it made her spiral into thinking about her own body and what someone might think of her most intimate parts one day.

This lead to her blurting out what she had heard to her best friend Michaela, wondering aloud if maybe she had an unpleasant looking vagina and didn’t know it.

“I’m just nervous. What if it’s not nice to look at?! What if I finally have sex with someone and they’re disgusted?” Willow exclaimed. She had her eyes staring down at the quilt cover, legs crossed, embarrassed that she was even bringing this up.

“Willow, I think whoever you’re with is just going to be happy to be down there.” Michaela tried reassuring her.

“But what if it’s ugly? What if it doesn’t look normal? Nothing else about me is, so why would this?”

“Willow!” Michaela gently grabbed Willow’s hands, bringing her closer. “You’ve never been normal. You’re the most special person in the world.”

Willow bit down on her bottom lip and stared up at Michaela in wonder, always surprised at how much tenderness she held for her.

“If you’re that worried…” Michaela hesitated, her hands getting a little bit clammy against Willow’s soft ones.

“What?” Willow whispered.

“I mean…You could show me.” Michaela rushed out her words as if they could burn her up if she said them any slower. “You trust me right? I could just…have a look, and then someone has seen it and you don’t have to be worried.”

“Of course I trust you, Mick, but won’t that be weird for you?” Willow’s nose scrunched up in embarrassment, her cheeks reddening as the conversation went on.

“We’ve literally fought monsters together, I don’t think this will be weird for me.” Michaela said. “And it’s us. I don’t feel weird, at least.”

“Okay, I guess if you’re sure it’s not weird. But you have to be honest!” Willow exclaimed. “and pinky promise you won’t look at me strange afterwards.”

Willow let go of Michaela’s hands and shimmied further up the bed. Her nervousness was starting to creep in, hardly believing that this was about to happen. What even was happening? Willow had come out to Michaela and the rest of the party in their last year of high school, not wanting to go off to college with any secrets from her best friends. When Michaela had told Willow that nothing would change between them, she was filled with relief.

A part of her had wished Mick had said “Yes! Me too!” But that obviously hadn’t happened and so she tried with all her might to put for deep feelings for Michaela aside and stay focused on staying close friends in college.

They had moved to New York for college together - a plan they had never strayed from wanting to do since their early teens. Willow was accepted to Tisch and Michaela to Columbia, all thanks to the hush money from the Government.

They had just finished up their first year of college and had settled in Willow’s single dorm room, having just got back from a party neither of them were really interested in being at.

“You can back out, you know.” Michaela told Willow, sensing her nervous energy. “You can forget I suggested it.”

“No, I’m okay. Just…be patient with me?” Willow couldn’t quite make eye contact but could see Michaela’s kind smile and knew what she would say.

“Of course, Wills. Always am. You know that.” Michaela grazed her hand over Willow’s knee, a touch of comfort. They each held a pinky up, intertwining them for a moment, making a silent promise to not be strange after all is said and done.

“Okay. I’m gonna take my pants off, I guess.” Willow said in a hushed tone, unbuttoning her wide leg jeans, unzipping them and tugging them down her hips and off. She had on some light pink bikini briefs with dainty lace on the edges, a little bow right at the centre of them. “Um, is this still okay?”

Michaela huffed a breath, her reality starting to crash down on her a little. “Yeah-I-yep. Of course, Wills. You can keep going.”

Willow took on the encouragement and slipped her fingers below her underwear and gently, slowly pushed them down her thighs, not quite all the way off. Feeling shy, she clamped her thighs together before Michaela could see her. “God, I can’t believe I’m doing this.”

Michaela laughed. “Maybe it’s a rite of passage between all best friends.”

“Uh-huh. I’m sure.” Willow rolled her eyes but let out a chuckle as well, taking her underwear all the way off.

Willow let her legs fall open slightly as both of their laughter settled and suddenly, neither of them could remember what it was they had been laughing at.

Michaela edged a little closer on the bed from where she was sitting cross-legged at the end of it. “Well, are you going to let me see?”

“Yeah, I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do.” Willow admitted, chewing hard on her bottom lip. She was an avid chapstick user but at this rate, her lips (the ones on her face at least) were going to be drier than sandpaper.

“Why don’t you spread those pretty thighs for me, huh? Let’s start there.” Michaela said boldly, with no idea where the rush of confidence had come from. All she knew was that she suddenly couldn’t wait any longer for Willow to be spread open for her viewing pleasure. She had never had those thoughts for a woman before, at least none that she had acknowledged.

Spurned on by Michaela’s words, some of Willow’s shyness vanished and she opened her legs further, her entire pussy on display in the lamp-lit room. Willow kept her eyes on Michaela as she leaned closer and looked down at every part of her vulva.

“Wills, it looks completely normal to me. I don’t know why you were so worried. It’s gorgeous, even. I mean, I’ve only seen mine so it’s not like I’m an expert on genitals,” Michaela paused to laugh at herself, “but I gotta say…yours is, um, it’s pretty. Of course it is. Pretty and pink, just like your lips. I think I maybe need to take a closer look though, I mean, if you’re good with that.” Michaela stuttered this last part out - she was feeling a little bit dazed now and just wanted to get closer to Willow. She would beg if that’s what Willow wanted.

Willow turned red, not believing the words coming out of her best friend’s mouth, never having imagined she would hear such a thing. “Sure, I guess you can’t have an accurate opinion from that far away…”

Michaela smirked, “Exactly.”

Willow could feel herself twitching, she knew she was getting wet. And she was getting very wet, very fast. She knew if Michaela got closer, she would see her pussy glistening, but at this point she didn’t even care. Let her see how soaking she makes you.

“Why don’t you reach down with your fingers and really show me?” Michaela said as she changed her position, her face coming closer between Willow’s spread legs, now only a few inches away - so close that Willow was sure she’d be able to feel Michaela’s breath on her most intimate parts the next time she opened her mouth.

Willow did as Michaela said, obeying immediately. Her fingers touched her inner lips and spread them so Michaela could get the full picture. Her hole, now dripping a little, was on complete display for Michaela to look at. Her clit was begging to be touched at this point - tucked nicely at the top. “Is that good?” Willow asked.

“Jesus Christ, Wills. Yes. God. I-“ Michaela took a quick loud breath, rubbing a hand over her face before looking up at Willow’s face, something slightly deranged about her expression. “I think maybe I should touch you. To really make an informed opinion, you know. It looks good, god, it looks - I can’t even string a sentence together. Your pussy is fucking beautiful, Willow. I can’t believe how wet you are. Can I touch you? Will you let me?” Michaela was rambling now, desperate and beside herself that she hadn’t thought to want this before, to want Willow.

“But you’re straight, Mick. You don’t want that.” Willow responded, but every part of her was dying to say Yes, please, touch me everywhere. I want to feel you everywhere.

“Wills, I don’t think a straight girl wants to touch another girls vagina. And that is very much what I would like to do right now. I don’t know what my sexuality is, but I can tell you that I have no doubt in my mind that I want to feel how wet you are right this second and I want to do that with my hands and with my mouth. God, I want to get my mouth on you so bad, baby. So fucking pretty, can’t believe you were worried. The pinkest, juiciest, prettiest pussy I think I’ll ever see.” Michaela was filled with lust now, hands coming to Willow’s inner thighs, eyes darkening as she willed her best friend to believe what she was saying to her. “Say no and I’ll stop right now. But, I think you want this too. Tell me what you want.”

Willow was whimpering now. She knew she was going to say yes. She had dreamed of being touched by Michaela. This was bizarre.

“Yeah-yes, please, Mick. I do want it. However you want. Just touch me, please.”

“Gonna make you feel good, baby. Look at you. So desperate for it already.” Michaela came closer now and started peppering kisses up Willow’s thighs, delighting in each sound that came out of her mouth the higher up she got.

Michaela lifted her hand and gently swiped her right thumb over Willow’s clit, leading to Willow bucking up and letting out a loud moan, absolutely caught in pleasure from being touched by another person, Michaela of all people, for the first time.

“Good girl. That’s it.” Michaela praised her as she brought her head forward and laved her tongue against one side of her inner lips, feeling Willow’s wetness on her tongue. She repeated it on the other side and then did a long swipe of her tongue all the way up from Willow’s opening up to her clit. Once she reached her clit, Michaela put her arms around each of Willow’s legs and put her hands on her lower abdomen, lightly pushing her down further into her face. Michaela started a frantic effort of tonguing at every part of Willow’s pussy she could reach, focusing on her clit and lightly pushing her tongue at her hole to taste her and spread her wetness all around.

“How’s that feel?” Michaela asked, taking a quick breath before diving back in for more. She reached her right hand back down and lightly pressed a finger against Willow’s opening. “Is this okay? Can I put it in?”

Willow moaned out a quick yes, her head completely back against her pillow and spine arched impossibly, already feeling like she was going to cum from only a few minutes of Michaela’s mouth on her.

“So good, so good, uh-yeah, that’s it, Mick, don’t stop what you’re doing.” Willow breathed out in between sweet moans. Michaela heard her loud and clear, not stopping as she sucked on her clit and started to insert a finger into her wet opening, welcoming her in easily.

Michaela moaned against Willow’s clit, feeling her own pussy completely soaking her underwear. She continued to push her finger into Willow further, and as soon as it was in all the way, she slightly pulled it out and pushed back in gently, hearing the squelch from how truly wet Willow was. Willow reached down in absolute euphoria, grabbing onto Michaela’s hair, feeling extremely close to orgasm as Michaela went to town on her clit and fucked into her with her long finger faster and faster.

Willow moaned uncontrollably as she felt the orgasm wash over her, legs squeezing around Michaela’s head as she let out one loud ‘Mick!’

Michaela licked at Willow a couple more times before Willow whimpered and moved away. Michaela lifted her head and smiled softly at Willow, wiping at her mouth a little and taking a few long breaths. Willow caught her breath and smiled just as softly right back at Michaela.

“Are you sufficiently less worried now?” Michaela said to Willow, a smirk taking over the soft smile she did have on her face.

Ha-ha, yes actually. If you have to ask.” Willow rolled her eyes now. She hesitated for a second. “Was that- I mean- are you okay with what just happened?”

“Willow, I literally just came untouched from eating you out. Yes, I’m okay.” Michaela laughed, and Willow joined in.

“Did you actually?” Willow asked, shocked.

“Yes.” Michaela climbed up the bed to lay next to Willow, both looking at each other in wonder now.

“Wow. I mean, I’m glad. And thank you. Really. That was…it was amazing.” Willow was blushing now, grateful for what Michaela just made her feel. “Maybe I could return the favour one day, if you’d like.” Willow offered, already bracing herself for rejection even though she didn’t really need to after what was just the last hour of her life.

“I’d really like that Willow. Let’s get to sleep now, though. We can talk about it more in the morning.” Michaela put the blanket over both of them and wrapped her arms around Willow’s waist, cuddling like they had been since they were five years old.

“Okay. Night, Mick.”

“Good night, Wills.”

They both stayed up a little while longer, both of them thinking about where their friendship was going to go from here, knowing there was probably no going back to what it was but both excited about which direction it could take.