Chapter Text
“Commander Shepard is pregnant.”
Kaidan blinks. The past twelve hours have been the most intense and emotional of his life: they had found Shepard amongst the ruins of London only to discover that he was somehow still alive. Barely able to deal with the shock of it all, Kaidan pulled him out of the rubble himself, then accompanied him all the way to the hospital where he had stayed, waiting in agony for hours outside the emergency room. Only a few minutes ago was he informed that Shepard was transferred to the ICU, stable but in a coma. There was only a moment of relief, because immediately after he was brought into the office of the attending doctor, a Dr Wolff who, after updating him on Shepard’s condition, dropped this earth-shattering news.
“What?” Kaidan wonders if his physical and mental exhaustion has caused auditory hallucinations.
“Commander Shepard is pregnant,” she repeats, though a bit more gently this time. “Only a few weeks, but it is a miracle that the embryo has survived, even more so than Shepard himself.” She picks up a pen and a clipboard. “So, that’s why I brought you in here, Major Alenko. My team and I want to get some more details. From what I understand, you and the commander were in a relationship, but is there a chance that he was with anyone else in the past month?”
Before Kaidan realises it, a growl rumbles its way out of his chest, low and angry and possessive. However, he quickly catches himself and shame washes over him in an instant. Why is he acting like some brutish Alpha in response to a perfectly reasonable question to ask in such circumstances? “I’m sorry.”
Thankfully, Dr Wolff takes in a stride, only smiling at him understandingly. “That’s alright. I just wanted to confirm what the team was sure of anyway, since the commander has no mating bite on his scent gland.”
“Exactly, so how is he…?” The Alliance is very thorough in ensuring that its soldiers are kept undistracted and unburdened by the needs of their secondary genders. Birth control, scent blockers, rut and heat suppressants; you name it, the Alliance has it in generous supply and of the highest quality, along with strict rules that all personnel are to take them according to their personal cycles and requirements, making the chance of unplanned or accidental pregnancies practically zero while still allowing them to “get up to some fun” should they want to. The only exceptions are bonded pairs; call the Alliance romantic or sappy, but they do not get in the way of mates.
And therein lies the problem. Kaidan loves Shepard and Shepard loves him in turn, that is undeniable. But as in love as they were, they were also realistic; the month or so they were together was too short an amount of time to decide to officially become mates. So, it begs the question: how did Shepard get pregnant?
“That’s what I’m here to figure out,” Dr Wolff says, a calmness to her that Kaidan trusts. “Firstly, has Shepard ever missed taking any of his medication? Have you?”
Kaidan shakes his head. He has never been one to disobey orders from the Alliance. As for Shepard, he follows the rules where it matters, this being one of them. Especially for an Omega in his position, this was something he would not neglect.
Dr Wolff scribbles something down before continuing. “How often would you say the two of you had sex? A rough estimate is fine.”
Very quickly, memories of the many long, exciting, pleasurable nights they spent together flood Kaidan’s mind, each image as erotic as the last and none of them appropriate to talk about. “Well, umm…” he starts off, face heating up as soon as he realises it would be better to count the number of nights that they didn’t have sex, with two-and-a-half years’ worth of waiting and yearning being thoroughly made up for from the day they confessed their feelings for each other till the very last night before they returned to Earth.
Thankfully, Dr Wolff catches on easily enough. “Ah, I see,” she tries to say nonchalantly, though it’s obvious she’s suppressing a smile as she adjusts her glasses. “Nothing to be embarrassed about. Healthy sex drives are a good sign.”
Saving Kaidan from the mortification, she carries on. “Lastly, did you notice any strange changes in either of your behaviours or moods? Anything sudden or unexplainable?”
Recalling the past couple of months, Kaidan shakes his head again. “We were under a lot of stress, no surprise there, but other than a migraine or two for me and some insomnia for him, we were both fine.”
Dr Wolff hums, nodding along and continuing to make notes. She stays silent for quite a while after that, but mercifully, she doesn’t leave Kaidan stewing in his confusion for too long. “It seems to me, Major, that there is only one possible explanation: it happens in very rare cases, but even if a pair has not officially mated, an extremely strong scent bond can override all of the medication.” She releases a long exhale, tapping on the clipboard with the back of her pen. “Highly unlikely but not impossible. And not to be crude, but I think the… frequency at which you two went about it did increase the chances somewhat.”
Kaidan would have gone through another round of embarrassment if he had actually heard the second part of what Dr Wolff said. Instead, everything became muffled noise after “an extremely strong scent bond can override all of the medication”, these words and all their ramifications bouncing around in Kaidan’s head.
Despite not being mates, he and Shepard shared a strong enough bond to defy the odds.
Shepard is now carrying the product of said bond.
A child. Their child.
It was just over a week ago that Kaidan thought he had lost Shepard forever. Now, not only has he gotten him back, but he’s returned with a completely unexpected surprise.
Head spinning, Kaidan leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees and burying his face in his hands. Too many emotions are running rampant inside him, and to say he’s overwhelmed would be an understatement.
Seeing this, Dr Wolff is quick to respond. “Major Alenko, I do apologise for dropping all of this information on you. It is a lot, but for now, please know that my team and I will be monitoring the commander’s condition very closely. You can trust that he is in good hands.”
Kaidan doesn’t doubt that. But at this moment, he only wants one thing. “Can I go see him?”
“Of course. Let me escort you there.” It’s a short walk and an elevator ride away, but each step Kaidan takes feels both heavier and lighter as he silently follows behind Dr Wolff, just vaguely aware of the usual hustle and bustle of the hospital going on around them. It’s significantly less chaotic than it was the first few days Kaidan was in London helping out the rescue teams, but there’s still plenty of activity, what with the city having just barely escaped near extinction. A few of the staff recognise him, but aside from a few waves and nods they leave him be. He wouldn’t be surprised if the news has already spread.
But none of that matters when Dr Wolff stops at one of the ICU wards and waits for Kaidan with a sad smile on her face. Kaidan walks up to her, and bracing himself with a deep breath, turns to look through the window into the room.
Shepard is lying comatose on the bed with all manner of wires and machinery hooked up to him, an intubation tube sticking out of his mouth, and his left leg strung up in a cast. The exposed parts of his body that are not covered by the hospital gown are almost completely covered in cuts and bruises and burns.
Kaidan’s already fragile heart aches anew. It is gut-wrenching to see the great Commander Shepard like this, and yet, a small part of him is finding solace in the fact that he’s still alive, though only just.
He doesn’t dare go in just yet. This barrier of glass between them is one he is grateful for, needing it to prepare himself. “Do you know when he will wake up?”
“We can’t say for certain,” Dr Wolff sighs, and it is an answer that he was expecting. He might not be a trained doctor like her, but years of being a medic has taught him enough. However, what he doesn’t expect is that she follows it up with, “But he is a survivor, and with such a strong will to live, it’s bound to happen sooner rather than later.”
There’s a look in her eye that tells him she’s not supposed to say that, likely because it’s more of a personal opinion rather than a professional one. He’s grateful for it nonetheless, and it brings brief comfort as the next question slips out before he can stop it.
“... And the baby?”
A pause, then, “Still a little early to tell if there’s been any permanent trauma, but for now, all signs are showing that it’s healthy.”
Something twists inside Kaidan’s heart at that answer. A tangle of relief and fear.
He falls silent once again. From beside him, Dr Wolff says, “We can decide the next course of action when he wakes up.”
Kaidan nods. He does not ask the next question that troubles him. What if he doesn’t?
Another sad smile tugs at Dr Wolff’s face. “I’ll give you some time alone with him. Feel free to take as long as you like,” she says before walking away.
Even then, it takes Kaidan another minute before he feels ready enough to enter, opening the door with a shaky hand. When he closes the door behind it, any noise is immediately filtered out, with only the whir and occasional beeps of the machines filling the air. Kaidan drags a chair over to Shepard’s bedside, all but collapsing into it as he stares at the badly beaten face of the man he loves.
The cavern that had formed in his chest from the grief over Shepard’s presumed death was just starting to close back up, but now it feels like it has just been ripped open again by a different kind of pain - that of uncertainty, of being able to do nothing but wait.
Carefully, he reaches for Shepard’s closest hand, mindful of the IV needle as he pulls it to his face. The last time they touched like this was on the battlefield as they exchanged what they thought were their final goodbyes, Shepard cupping the side of his face as he said, just loud enough above all the chaos, “No matter what happens, know I love you.”
Kaidan had returned those three words, breathing in Shepard’s scent one last time, committing it to memory. Gunsmoke. Petrichor. Raspberry. A wild combination, but perfect for a man like Shepard.
(That should have been a clue. The Alliance-provided scent blockers are some of the strongest on the market and they rarely let anything past, so the fact that Kaidan managed to catch his scent - and Shepard his - from the very first night they spent together should have been a sign that their bond went deeper than they believed. However, the scents were still incredibly muted, so it didn’t set off any of their alarm bells, and Kaidan was too wrapped up in the “Shepard actually likes me back” high of it all to really care.)
He puts Shepard’s wrist to his nose and takes a deep breath in, trying to locate those smells again. Underneath the sterility of the hospital (one of many that had introduced aerosolised scent blockers into their ventilation system to prevent any untoward behaviour amongst patients and staff), he finds them, but they are all wrong. Overly ashy, damp, sour. It does work to calm him down a bit, but he still hates how powerless he feels, that his own scent is not enough to make Shepard feel better.
He takes another breath, and this time, he notices something. It’s so subtle that he thinks it's just the wrong-ness of Shepard’s scent that’s throwing him off. But he breathes in again, and it’s there, extremely faint but definitely there. Something new, foreign but comforting.
It takes him a second, but he eventually realises that there’s only one thing it could be. And when he does, a wrecked half-gasp, half-cry is forced out of him.
But there are no more tears left to cry. Kaidan had spent them all just a few hours prior as he cradled Shepard’s body in his arms while waiting for the rest of the rescue team, days’ worth of grief spilling forth like a broken dam. Now, only a sob of helplessness escapes. “John, I-”
He cuts himself off, because he doesn’t even know what he wants to say. He’s so lost in a way that he’s never felt before, exhaustion tearing away any and all fortitude he has left, the brave face he’s had to keep up over the past weeks finally melting away. Here, he lets himself fall apart in a way that he almost never has, so overwhelmed by everything that it’s almost difficult to breathe. Not that cares, but he can’t help but feel like the furthest thing from what a strong Alpha should be.
It’s at this moment that a memory resurfaces. Something Shepard had said back in the FOB.
“When this is all over, I’ll be waiting for you. You’d better show up.”
Somehow, this is what pulls Kaidan back together again. He moves Shepard’s hand to his own cheek, much like how it was the last time they saw each other. “I’m sorry I kept you waiting, but I’m here, John. I showed up, like I promised.”
And I’ll be here, waiting for you. As long as it takes.