Chapter Text
—————
Don't speak, no, don't try.
It's been a secret for the longest time.
—————
Change is inevitable. Sometimes, it arrives so quietly that you do not realize your life has changed until you find yourself standing somewhere unfamiliar, looking back at a life that no longer belongs to you.
Nothing stays the same. From a biological to an ecological standpoint, stagnation has always been the enemy of growth. The moment an organism ceases to change, growth ceases with it. Even the branches of our memories expand with every passing nanosecond of our lives, constantly reshaping themselves with every experience we encounter. Change is what keeps us moving. It is what keeps us living, breathing, and reaching for whatever comes next.
For Iori Utahime, however, the turning point of her life came much faster than she could have ever anticipated.
One moment, she was lying comfortably in her bed at home; the next, she was inside a dormitory room she had never imagined calling hers. One moment, she was eating breakfast with the familiar, incessant babbling of her adorable yet annoying younger brother; the next, she was sitting alone at a small table that could barely accommodate two people, quietly eating the omurice she had prepared for herself. One moment, she was wearing her Tokyo Tech uniform, rushing out of the house and catching the train ten minutes away from the university; the next, she was dressed in an entirely new uniform from a university that was still foreign to her, taking her time because the campus was only a short walk from her apartment.
The mattress wasn't as soft as the one at home. The room was quieter, but somehow, that silence made it duller. Colder.
Almost lifeless.
She had never imagined that living alone would feel like this.
Frankly, she never really felt that different from before. She had always been accustomed to being alone. Inside their home, she had been more like an ornament than a daughter—a precious teacup brought out whenever relatives or visitors came over, something to be displayed when it was convenient and forgotten when it wasn't. Attention was only given when it served a purpose, when her existence could be used to preserve the family's pride. Even in a crowd, she was the sort of person people could bump into without turning around to apologize or even offering a glance to acknowledge her existence. Inside school, she was someone deliberately ignored and deliberately mocked.
She never understood why.
She was just a simple girl who happened to swim against the current. Utahime valued modesty, education, and ethical and lawful behavior more than modern trends, parties, and the reckless pleasures of youth. As a result, she effortlessly possessed the very qualities that vulgarity found ridiculous—intelligence, elegance, discipline, and a sense of purity that refused to bend simply because everyone else had. To them, she was an outdated grandmother trapped in a young woman's body, living in perpetual uptightness and playing the role of the prim-and-proper schoolgirl nerd who needed to loosen up, stop burying her nose in books, and learn how to enjoy life.
But somehow, everything spiraled far too quickly for her own good.
Ever since she had been caught up in a ridiculous bet between teachers she never expected to become involved with, her life had revolved around a series of events she could no longer control. The change, though inevitable, became too rapid, too incomprehensible, and ultimately too overwhelming for her to process.
Her friends—Mei and Atsuya, the only two people who truly understood her, saw her for who she was, and appreciated her without asking her to become someone else—had finally decided to fight fire with fire. They had created a poison that would prove far more difficult to cure once it had seeped deeply into their blood.
The bet had been simple—make Utahime fall for her teacher. When she had fallen hopelessly enough and confess, he will be absolved from two years' worth of paperwork.
He was bold and good at it. He shows everyone how differently he treated her, making her gain even more members to her growing hate club. He makes her feel butterflies in her stomach, make her believe that something romantic was developing between a teacher and his student, as though she had somehow stumbled into the perfect dream. Then, after receiving confirmation of his victory, he would reveal the truth.
He had only been kind.
It had all been an act.
Utahime had been hurt. Deeply and genuinely offended. To her, it had been nothing more than another level of ridicule. Out of all the girls in that massive university, why would the most famous and notoriously flirtatious mathematics professor choose someone like her?
Oh, right.
Because she was the most uptight, serious-looking student of them all—the girl who excelled in practically everything except being "normal" according to their definition of the word.
Mei and Atsuya, who were complete opposites of her in nearly every possible way, couldn't bear to see their girl being toyed with like that.
So the comeback was simple too—
Utahime only needed to act like herself. She had to behave as though she were falling like a lovesick puppy, as if she believed every word he said and bought every gesture he offered. She didn't understand where the revenge was supposed to come in. Mei and Atsuya simply told her to act naturally and somehow, magically, he would eventually fall for her instead.
So she did.
And...
He did.
Now she was here, trying to start over.
Trying to bury everything that had happened and leave it behind.
Him included.
Gojo Satoru actually falling for her—head over heels, beyond reason, beyond restraint? Who would believe that? Even Utahime hadn't believed it herself.
Not until that night.
Those eyes.
Those tears.
Those lips...
Those trembling soft lips.
Those words....
It wasn't pretend anymore.
For the first time, it had felt real.
And right now, it felt truer than anything she had ever known.
She was certain of it. She had somehow managed to make him fall into his own trap. Yet why was he trying so desperately to grab her ankles and drag her into that pit with him?
He had found out about their plan. He was never the same after that.
Gone was the soft-spoken man. Gone was the gentle touch. Gone was the loving admiration in those cerulean eyes. Gone was the affection that had once felt so sincere.
"What happened to you... Gojo-sensei?"
The words left her mouth almost as a whisper. Her hand came to a halt while combing through her hair. Utahime's eyes remained fixed on her reflection in the mirror hanging on the wall, watching herself through the glass with an uneasiness she could no longer suppress.
It had been two weeks since the school year began.
She had been adjusting surprisingly well to the new atmosphere, all thanks to Riko, who had fulfilled her promise to help her settle in and look after her. She was slowly becoming accustomed to the differences between her old school and her new university, between her previous home and the small apartment dormitory she now occupied.
It should have been easier.
It would have been easier—
If only her mathematics professor wasn't constantly trying to corner her, seize control of her, and figuratively—and sometimes frighteningly literally—put a collar around her neck at every corner of the school.
He never stopped.
And this was becoming seriously alarming.
First, he had followed her here after discovering that she had transferred.
Second, she couldn't help but suspect that he had connections to the reason Mei and Atsuya had suddenly been unable to transfer with her, despite their requirements having been submitted successfully. It was even more suspicious when the university suddenly announced that there were enough slots available for them to enroll after previously claiming that there weren't. Something Utahime wouldn't have believed under normal circumstances.
Third, he had truly bought the school. It had been announced during the second flag ceremony, engraved in golden letters at the front of the university gate, that the institution was owned by the Gojo family. Many people admired his supposed humility, praising him for choosing to remain an ordinary faculty member despite being the heir to the family that owned the university.
Him, choosing to be her class' adviser than to become the dean?
Utahime knew better.
Fourth, he had appointed her class secretary, requiring her to visit him after every class to submit attendance sheets and reports, which is completely unnecessary.
Lastly—hopefully, mercifully, the last—he always seemed to know where she was.
Which class she was in, when she had vacant periods, who her newly found friends were...
Her phone number... her apartment dorm number. The time she left, and the time she returned.
Every little thing.
It was starting to terrify her.
How did she know?
It was easy. It doesn't even look like he's pretending. He is doihg this on ourpose.
He was everywhere.
Everywhere she went, somehow, he was there to remind her that he knew. He initiated conversations she was certain he couldn't possibly have known about unless he had been watching. He remembered every little interaction she had with other students. Every student she spoke to somehow seemed to make their way onto his radar.
He never crossed her personal space as blatantly as he had during the first day, but his touches had become impossible to ignore.
Especially in public.
Especially where other students could see.
She noticed the way his thumb slowly circled her shoulder whenever he was calm. The way his touch became firmer whenever she somehow managed to upset him. The way his eyes softened whenever she spoke to him. The way his gaze always found her first in a crowd, and every time she looked up, she found his eyes already fixed on hers. He always managed to stand beside her, behind her, or directly in front of her, even when there was barely enough space for another person. His voice became inexplicably softer whenever he spoke to her.
She was the only one he gave a nickname. The only one he casually patted on the head, the only one who received those seemingly innocent shoulder-side hugs, gentle strokes, lingering smiles, and laughter even when she hadn't said anything particularly funny.
It was bizarre.
Yet the students around them didn't seem to find it strange at all. They simply believed him when he acted as though the two of them were extraordinarily close. They assumed they had a long history together, that they had known each other for years, and that every touch between them was nothing more than the comfortable affection of two people who had simply been close for a very long time.
Sometimes, Utahime wondered whether they were genuinely oblivious. Or... perhaps they were simply too afraid of him to question anything. Because there was no way a teacher should behave like that toward a student.
He was an upgrade from the professor she had met in Tokyo. He had become worse—much worse.
But what frightened her most was that the people around her didn't condemn it.
They accepted it.
They normalized it.
And Gojo was taking advantage of every little bit of it.
The small ticking of the clock on her wall finally snapped her attention back to reality. She hadn't even realized how long she had been spacing out, staring blankly at her own reflection with half of her hair still uncombed. She glanced at the clock.
Thirty minutes before class.
She needed to finish getting ready and leave.
Forcing herself to move, Utahime continued combing through her hair before tying it into her signature two-ended pigtails. She didn't bother packing herself lunch. Riko had insisted that she would bring food for her instead, claiming that Utahime needed to taste her mother's cooking.
How lucky she was.
Sometimes, whenever Utahime spent time with Riko, she couldn't help but wish she had a life like hers—a caring family, a warm personality, people who admired and respected her, and a life that seemed so peaceful and uncomplicated.
A life far removed from her own.
Utahime sighed before dragging herself toward the campus, deliberately focusing her attention on the scenery around her instead. The trees swayed gently in the morning breeze, students passed by in small groups, and the familiar sounds of campus life gradually filled the air.
How ironic.
This was supposed to be the peaceful place where she could finally begin again.
Yet it was here that she felt the most restless.
She had never been afraid of going to school before. Now, she couldn't help the anxiety that settled over her the moment she stepped through those gates. Her mind immediately began racing with possibilities.
He could already be watching her. Maybe through one of those security monitors in his office or... through those cerulean eyes that had once captivated her.
Once.
Yes.
She had loved him.
No one could blame her for it. Falling in love with him had been almost impossibly easy. He possessed nearly everything a girl could dream of—an unrivaled face, a tall and well-built figure, extraordinary intelligence, effortless charm, an easygoing personality, a gentle voice, the manners of a gentleman, and, of course, a bank account large enough to make practically anyone's jaw drop.
But what truly made her fall was how he had been with her.
Gentler.
Kinder.
Softer.
He had made her feel seen in a way she had never experienced before. That was why she couldn't stop herself from falling, even when she knew she shouldn't.
Loved.
Past tense.
Was she certain it belonged entirely in the past? Or was she simply confused?
Because her heart still raced whenever he came near. It still stumbled whenever he spoke to her—or even spoke about her. His touches still made her breath hitch. Her heartbeat still thundered against her chest whenever she felt his presence. Whether it was fear or something else, she didn't know anymore.
Perhaps that was what frightened her most. She no longer knew what she felt, and she certainly didn't know what was inside his head.
"Utahime!"
A loud, cheerful voice in the distance pulled her out of her thoughts. She looked up and immediately saw Riko waving enthusiastically in her direction. Utahime forced the negative emotions bubbling inside her back down and pulled her usual gummy smile onto her face, giving her a small wave in return.
Oh, how she missed Mei and Atsuya.
Riko nearly ran toward her, practically overflowing with energy. The moment she reached Utahime, she hooked both arms around her. Utahime nearly stumbled sideways.
"What makes you so excited again?" she asked with a small chuckle, eyeing the visibly flustered girl beside her.
"Well~" Riko giggled. "I saw Gojo-sensei just before I saw you."
Utahime's entire body tensed. Her steps came to an abrupt stop before she urged herself to continue walking.
"He was so handsome today!" Riko squealed.
Utahime could only give her an uncertain smile. "R-really?"
Riko nodded furiously. "He saw me and greeted me!" A faint blush spread across her cheeks.
Utahime swallowed.
"W-where was he headed?"
She needed to know if it's really a coincidence that he had appeared only moments before she arrived or had he been waiting for her.
"His office! It looks like he just arrived."
Utahime nodded, trying to appear indifferent as her eyes instinctively drifted toward the direction of his office.
And there he was, standing against the railing.
Watching her.
Gojo's eyes met hers from across the distance.
Slowly, his lips tugged into a smirk.
Utahime immediately looked away. The hairs along her arms seemed to rise all at once. Her heartbeat doubled in speed, and before she could stop herself, she quickened her pace, practically dragging Riko along with her.
"Hey! Slow down!" Riko complained. "Why are you suddenly in such a hurry?"
Utahime didn't dare look back.
"We can't be late, you know?" she answered with a shaky laugh.
"But it's still early!"
She didn't care. This was the first time she had actually caught him watching her enter the school. He had never exactly been subtle about it, but today...
Today, he had been bold enough to smirk at her.
Utahime had been avoiding him ever since she arrived. Even when he always seemed to find a way to approach her, she spoke to him timidly and kept their conversations as short as possible. She never wanted their eyes to meet because she knew exactly what his gaze was asking of her.
He had already told her what he wanted.
She had refused.
She couldn't continue what they had left behind in Tokyo.
It was inappropriate.
It was unethical.
It was wrong.
He didn't seem to care whether she wanted it or not though. He wasn't the man he had been before—the man who had given her space, who had respected her boundaries, who had shown his love by quietly admiring her from afar.
That man was gone.
Now, he was forceful. Persistent. Almost frighteningly determined.
He still believed Mei and Atsuya were somehow responsible for her behavior. He couldn't accept that her decision to distance herself from him had been entirely her own.
The truth was, they didn't even know.
Utahime had never told them that Gojo was pursuing her.
As far as they knew, it was merely a coincidence that he had transferred to the same university as her. They believed he no longer cared about her.
Utahime intended to keep it that way. She couldn't afford to drag them into this mess—not when she had begun to suspect that Gojo was capable of doing something far worse than simply rejecting their transfer applications. Not after hearing the hatred laced through his voice whenever he blamed them for something she had willingly participated in herself.
She couldn't let them become another target.
The two eventually turned toward the other path leading to their building. Utahime quickly introduced another topic into their conversation, successfully distracting Riko from talking about their adviser.
Behind them, Gojo remained where he was. He watched Utahime's figure disappear up the stairs. Only then did he pull back his sleeve and glance at his watch.
Five minutes.
He waited.
Five minutes before continuing toward his office.
He knew it would take her approximately five minutes to reach her classroom when she was in a hurry.
Eight minutes on an ordinary day.
Ten when she was alone.
Seven when she was with Riko.
He knew.
He knew because he had been watching.
And he had been watching for far longer than she realized.
The moment he arrived at his office, the first thing Gojo did was turn on the monitors. He slouched into his swivel chair as one screen after another flickered to life. Room after room, corridor after corridor—every corner of the campus, every place Utahime went appeared before him.
She didn't know about these. She only knew about the monitor at the school gate.
Gojo leaned forward against his desk and silently watched as Utahime settled into her seat. Beside her was her ever-enthusiastic newfound friend—Amanai Riko.
He liked Riko. She was different from Mei and Atsuya, who were constantly hovering around Utahime and blocking his view of her. She was different from the girls in Utahime's previous class, who had spent their time glaring at her or talking about her behind her back.
Riko was kind to her. She helped her adjust, stayed by her side, and most importantly, didn't seem to mind the way he behaved around Utahime. She didn't find it strange. She found it cute.
A small smile tugged at the corner of Gojo's lips. He watched Utahime laugh at something Riko had said. A genuine laugh, a carefree one. It was the kind of laugh he hadn't seen from her in days.
That was what he liked about her friend. Riko brought out the natural Utahime—the Utahime he hadn't been able to see since they left Tokyo.
He couldn't blame her. He knew he had become bold. He knew he was being forceful. He knew that, from an outsider's perspective, he probably looked creepy. But could anyone really blame him? He had never felt this strongly about a woman before. Not once.
Utahime was perfect for him.
And he had been patient. He had tried doing things her way. He had given her time. He had tried to approach her gently.
—Only to discover that her friends had been manipulating her from the beginning, trying to make her act a certain way to get revenge for that ridiculous bet. They had influenced her decisions, encouraged her to distance herself from him, and convinced her to hate him even more.
That wasn't what he wanted to believe.
Because Utahime had told him that night that she loved him.
And he loved her.
For real.
He wasn't going to let anything come between them.
His profession?
Her status?
Their image?
He had thought about all of it. Carefully and deeply. He had made sure everything could work in their favor.
Still, she had changed.
She no longer smiled at him the way she had in Tokyo. Her eyes no longer carried the same warmth—only uncertainty. She couldn't even stay with him for five minutes anymore without finding an excuse to leave.
So he let her be.
For now.
He would let her do whatever she needed to do to convince herself that she could get away from him. Until eventually, she became tired realize that she couldn't.
Gojo clicked on one of the monitors displaying her classroom. His smile slowly faded. His eyes softened as they settled on her as he lifted one hand and gently touched the screen, his fingertips resting over the image of her cheek.
His voice came out quietly, carrying the same longing he had for her.
"What happened to you, my Hime-chan?"
The bell rang, signaling the end of the period. Around her, chairs scraped against the floor as the students began gathering their things, their voices filling the classroom with lively chatter. Utahime neatly arranged her belongings before placing them inside her bag.
“Quick, Utahime-kun! I’m super excited for you to taste Okāsan’s special dish!” Riko urged beside her, practically bouncing with anticipation.
Utahime smiled as she made one last check of her things. “All done!”
Before she could even properly sling her bag over her shoulders, Riko had already taken her by the arm and pulled her out of the classroom, talking nonstop about her mother’s homemade tonkatsu. They eventually settled on one of the benches outside the cafeteria, where the afternoon air was pleasantly cool and the surrounding campus had quieted down.
Riko brought out two bentos and handed Utahime the pink one. The moment she opened it, the savory aroma of sweet tonkatsu immediately reached her. The food was no longer warm, but it still looked delicious, the golden-brown pieces neatly arranged alongside the other dishes.
“Okāsan can’t wait to meet you!” Riko said with a cheerful chuckle as she handed Utahime a pair of chopsticks.
Utahime simply stared at the bento for a moment. Something about the sight made her think of her own mother. She wondered what it would have been like if her mother had prepared meals for her like this on ordinary days—not only when there was an occasion or when there was someone to impress. Perhaps she would have known what it felt like to come home and find something made especially for her.
“I’m looking forward to meeting your mother,” she finally said with a smile. “So I can thank her personally.”
After saying grace, the two of them finally began eating. Utahime couldn't help the quiet hum of delight that escaped her after the first bite. The tonkatsu was tender, flavorful, and perfectly seasoned.
“This is so good,” she said, taking another bite.
Riko grinned triumphantly. “I know, right?”
They ate happily beneath the peaceful afternoon sky, occasionally exchanging random stories and laughing over things that weren't particularly funny. For a brief while, Utahime found herself forgetting about everything else—the university, her transfer, Gojo, and the constant uneasiness that seemed to follow her wherever she went.
Then her phone suddenly lit up. The smile disappeared from her face almost instantly. Her hand hesitated before reaching for it. For a fleeting moment, she hoped it wasn't him.
Relief washed over her when she saw the name on the screen.
Mei.
She opened the message and tapped the attached photo. It was a picture of Mei and Atsuya sitting on their usual bench, with a crudely drawn stickman edited between them. A smile slowly curled at the corners of Utahime's lips.
Mei: Missing our princess :(((
If only they knew how much she missed them too.
“Who is it?” Riko asked curiously, eyeing her phone. It was the first time she had seen Utahime smile so genuinely while looking at her screen.
Utahime looked up, realizing Riko was still watching her. “Oh, it's just my friends from Tokyo.” She turned her phone around to show her the message.
“Awww, they're so thoughtful!” Riko smiled. “I wish I had friends like that too.”
The last words were barely above a whisper, but Utahime heard them. She studied Riko's expression, her brows knitting together.
“You have a lot of friends, Riko.”
Riko nodded slowly, her movements becoming more subdued as she returned to her food.
“Yeah. I do.” She paused before looking up at Utahime. “But I don't really have a permanent circle.”
Utahime fell silent. She had always assumed Riko had countless close friends. She seemed to get along effortlessly with almost everyone on campus, greeting people wherever they went and somehow managing to make even strangers feel comfortable around her.
“I’m a social butterfly, I know,” Riko continued with a small laugh. “But I never really had someone who stayed with me.” Her eyes softened. “Until you came here.”
Something warm bloomed inside Utahime's chest.
“I was really thankful when you transferred.” Riko gave her a genuine smile. “You're different from everyone else. You seem quiet and reserved at first, but you actually have this aura that makes people feel safe around you. Seen. Loved.”
Her eyes curved into crescents as she smiled.
“No wonder Gojo-sensei is so fond of you.”
Utahime nearly choked.
No—she actually did choke.
Riko immediately reached for the water bottle beside her, twisting the cap open and handing it to her.
“Are you okay?”
Utahime coughed several times before taking a hurried drink of water. “Y-yeah. I'm fine. Sorry.” She wiped the corner of her mouth with a tissue.
She really thinks their relationship is normal. Just how good was Gojo at manipulating the people around him?
“Gojo-sensei isn't fond of me,” Utahime muttered, lowering her gaze as she picked up another piece of food.
“Yeah, right.” Riko giggled. “Because he's really fond of you.” She returned to her bento, seemingly oblivious to the way Utahime had gone still.
Her chopsticks stopped halfway toward her mouth. Utahime quietly watched her.
Riko swallowed before continuing, starting to be aware she had struck a sensitive subject.
“I mean, he's such a sweet and nice professor. He always asks about you, gives you those little side hugs, pats your head, strokes your hair...” She smiled teasingly. “You're so lucky. I would study harder if it meant I could be in your position.”
Utahime's expression stiffened.
She doesn't even know what she's wishing for.
“Anyway,” Riko continued, mercifully changing the subject, “the deadline for the club lists is next week. Have you prepared the list of our names and the clubs everyone wants to join?”
Utahime quietly exhaled in relief. She was grateful the conversation had moved elsewhere.
“Is that really necessary?” she asked. “They didn't require anything like that in Tokyo.”
“Yes. Gojo-sensei said so.", Riko shrugged.
Right. For all she knows, he is just using this as an alibi to track her down.
"I suppose. I already did it anyway.” She nodded toward her bag. “Some of our classmates have already chosen their clubs.”
“Oh! I haven't even told you what club I'm joining!” Riko chuckled as she placed her chopsticks beside her bento. “I’m joining sports. The volleyball team.”
“I figured.” Utahime smiled. “I already put your name down on my draft.”
Riko's eyes widened.
“Really? You already knew?” She laughed. “You really are getting to know me!” Then she tilted her head. “How about you?”
Utahime lowered her gaze toward her nearly empty bento.
Just last Friday, Gojo had told her to join the Mathematics Club.
She didn't want to. She already knew he would be the adviser. Joining the Media Team again wouldn't help either. She would still have to interact with him. She needed something else, something unexpected. Something he wouldn't think of.
Something that would give her a place where he couldn't worm his way into her life.
“Can you suggest the best club to join?” she asked.
Riko rested an index finger against her chin, thinking.
“Hmm... What about the Theater Arts Club? You told me you like singing and dancing, right?”
She did. But Gojo knew that too.
“No.” Utahime shook her head. “I'm not very good at acting.”
Riko continued suggesting different clubs that seemed suited to her, but Utahime rejected every one. They were all too obvious. She needed something he wouldn't anticipate.
“I've already suggested so many clubs that would be perfect for you, and you don't want any of them.” Riko puffed out her cheeks. “If nothing interests you, then just join a sports club.”
An idea suddenly surfaced in Utahime's mind. Her eyes lit up.
“What if I join volleyball?”
Riko blinked.
“Uh... We already have a manager.”
“No.” Utahime shook her head. “As a player.” She straightened slightly. “I know how to play volleyball. I used to play back in middle school.”
Riko's eyes immediately brightened. She grabbed both of Utahime's hands.
“Really?! Then it's settled! Let's be teammates!” Her excitement was contagious.
Utahime only managed an awkward smile.
That's it.
Gojo had never seen her play volleyball when they were in Tokyo. Back then, he hadn't been nearly as obsessive about knowing every detail of her life. Perhaps, for once, she had found something he couldn't interfere with.
“What position do you play?” Riko asked, leaning closer. "I am a setter.
Utahime paused.
“I guess... libero?”
Whenever she had played before, she had been shorter than most of the others, so they usually assigned her that position. She wasn't particularly fond of diving—it had left her with more than a few injuries and lingering aches—but they had always told her she was good at it.
Riko's eyes sparkled again.
“Oh! Would you like to come with me to the tryouts? I can introduce you to my old teammates!”
“Sure,” Utahime replied with an awkward smile.
For the first time that day, she felt a tiny spark of relief. Hopefully, this could be hers.
Something outside of Gojo.
Something he hadn't chosen for her.
Something she had chosen herself.
And yet, as she gathered her things, a bitter realization settled quietly in the back of her mind.
Look at how far he had made her go.
She was doing things she had never even wanted to do—not because she suddenly wanted them, but because she was desperately searching for somewhere he couldn't follow.
—————
Don't run, oh, don't hide.
Been running from it for the longest time.
—————
Utahime dragged her feet to carry her toward his office. By now, the end of every school day had become something she dreaded. She knew exactly what awaited her—handing him the class attendance sheet and the daily report. Completely unnecessary, completely pointless, because Gojo had already made it clear that the papers were not what interested him. He was not playing the role of a good adviser.
He wanted her.
He wanted to have her to himself.
She stopped in front of his office door, her heart pounding heavily against her ribs. It had been like this every day. She might not see him throughout the entire day, but before she left the school, he always made sure to claim a few minutes of her time. Even if it was only five minutes. Even if it was only a brief conversation.
He always found a way.
Utahime raised her hand to knock, but the door opened before her knuckles could touch the wood. Her hand remained suspended in the air as Gojo swung the door open.
"Hime-chan!" He grinned widely. "Come in! I've been waiting for you."
His smile slowly shifted into a knowing smirk.
Utahime reluctantly stepped inside, keeping as much distance between them as the narrow entrance allowed. Gojo closed the door behind her and, as usual, locked it.
He was always doing that.
It made her uneasy, and at the same time, some small, shameful part of her felt relieved. At least if the door was locked, she wouldn't have to worry about someone suddenly walking in while he attempted something she couldn't explain to anyone.
Gojo turned toward her.
"So, have you made up your mind?" He gently guided her toward the sofa, motioning for her to sit.
Utahime stiffened as he settled beside her. She tightened her grip around the papers pressed against her chest.
"I-I am still thinking about it, Sensei."
A lie.
She had already made up her mind. She simply didn't want him to know what club she intended to join yet. She would submit the form only after she had officially been accepted following the tryouts. For now, she needed to keep it to herself.
Gojo's smile faltered for the briefest moment.
"I see..."
Utahime handed him the papers she had been clutching like they were her only protection. He accepted them and placed them on his desk without even looking at them. The moment the papers left her hands, his attention returned to her.
She immediately lowered her gaze and began to stand. Seeing this, Gojo caught her by the arm and pulled her back down onto the sofa. She landed beside him, startled by the force.
"Sensei, I need to leave."
She shut her eyes tightly for a moment before looking up at him pleadingly. Gojo could not help but stare into those golden eyes that had always managed to hypnotize him. She looked as though she were about to cry, yet somehow, even now, he couldn't help but think she looked beautiful.
His hand slowly rose toward her face. As his fingers touched her cheek, Utahime tensed.
"I haven't seen you the whole day, Hime-chan." His thumb moved gently across her cheek. "I missed you."
Her expression hardened.
"You always see me." She looked directly at him. "You always find a way to know where I am and what I'm doing." There was bitterness in her voice.
Gojo sighed. He placed both hands against her cheeks, gently turning her face toward him. Utahime immediately tried to pull away, but he held her still, studying her expression as though searching for the woman he remembered.
"You changed, Hime-chan." There was pain in his eyes. "Why do you treat me like this?"
Utahime nearly scoffed.
"You're the one who changed, Gojo-sensei."
Her voice trembled.
"I..."
She swallowed. Her breathing grew uneven as tears began gathering in her eyes.
"I don't know who you are anymore."
His eyes narrowed.
"I am the same Gojo-sensei you've always known."
His voice remained soft as his thumbs continued brushing against her cheeks. Utahime turned her face away, but he gently redirected her toward him.
"You are controlling!" Her tears finally spilled over. "You've gone mad, Sensei!"
His expression softened immediately. He wiped the tears from her cheeks with his thumb.
"I'm showing you my love—"
"You know this isn't right!"
She finally managed to pull his hands away from her face. Utahime stood and took a step backward.
"We can't be together."
"We can, Hime."
Gojo stood as well, immediately closing the distance between them. His hands settled on her shoulders as he pulled her closer.
She shrugged them off.
"No. What you're doing to me is inappropriate."
Gojo let out a quiet chuckle. The sound made her blink. He inhaled deeply and ran a hand through his hair before suddenly catching one of her arms and pulling her toward him. Utahime nearly collided with his chest.
"And what you did wasn't?" He stared directly into her eyes. "You love me too, Hime."
For a fleeting moment, his eyes softened.
"You told me yourself." His gaze dropped briefly to her lips. "And you responded to my kiss."
She hated this. She hated that he was right. But she also knew that he was deliberately holding that memory over her, refusing to let her bury the feelings she had desperately tried to leave behind.
"You played the game too." His grip tightened around her arm, making her squirm. "So if we had the same feelings, why should we stop now?"
He leaned closer.
"When everything became real?"
Utahime finally wrenched her arm free and pushed him away. Gojo allowed her to do so, watching as anger flashed across her tear-streaked face.
"I came here to start a new life and leave everything behind." She swallowed hard. "I transferred because I wanted to get away from you."
He had guessed it. The realization had hurt him before. It still hurt now.
The thought of Utahime leaving him behind was something he couldn't accept. Nothing in his life had ever made him feel this desperate.
"What we had before..." Utahime inhaled shakily. "It should be forgotten."
Her chest rose and fell rapidly.
"It shouldn't have happened in the first place." She looked up at him. "Gojo-sensei, please..."
Her voice finally broke.
"Please let me live a normal life."
He hated seeing her cry because of him. He didn't want her to be miserable. He wanted her to be genuinely happy—with him.
"You've seen how miserable I was."
His breathing became ragged as he stepped closer again.
"I've knelt. I've begged. I gave you space because you asked for it."
Utahime's heartbeat quickened.
"I don't show up as often as I used to. I have been subtle, just like you wanted."
He then reached for her face again.
"I kept everything a secret, just like you wanted."
No.
Utahime wanted to say it. He only looked subtle to everyone else. When they were alone, he crossed every line he shouldn't.
"You are being selfish, Utahime." His voice lowered. "Can't you see you're hurting me with the way you treat me?"
She couldn't believe what she was hearing. A part of her wanted to ask whether he was genuinely serious. Another part—the part that remembered how sincerely he had once loved her—whispered that perhaps he was.
"Haven't I told you that I've prepared everything for us?" His voice trembled with frustration. "Why are you still resisting?"
He stared at her.
"Why?"
Utahime shut her eyes tightly.
"I've already told you a million times, Gojo-sensei." She looked at him through her tears. "This cannot be."
"This can be." His voice grew louder. "I already made it possible."
He stepped closer.
"Why can't you just give in to your feelings? Are they still dictating—"
"No!"
Her shout cut him off.
"Stop bringing them into this!"
She pulled her face away from his hands.
"Any sane person would know that this isn't right. A teacher and a student shouldn't be together like this."
Gojo shook his head.
"You're being influenced by them. Love is never wrong."
"It is when it's like this!" Utahime cried out.
Gojo froze. He stared at her in disbelief.
"We can be together, Hime." His voice became quieter "It's only you who's thinking of yourself."
Utahime let out a bitter laugh, wiping her tears away harshly.
"You're the selfish one, Gojo-sensei." Her voice trembled with anger. "Do you think your actions aren't frightening me? I can't even come to this school without worrying that something inside you will snap and you'll do something worse to me!"
Gojo blinked. The anger disappeared from his expression. His eyes softened.
"I would never do anything to harm you, Hime-chan."
He sounded almost wounded.
"I love you."
If he hadn't done all those things, she would have believed him. She would have felt the same way.
"I never thought this was your way of loving a woman." A bitter, humorless laugh escaped her as she ran a hand through her hair.
She turned away, her fingers wrapped around the doorknob.
"If you think my love is absurd..."
His voice stopped her.
"You haven't seen all of it."
It was Utahime's turn to froze. She didn't turn around. She only heard his footsteps approaching.
Utahime finally looked back when Gojo reached for her hand. She remained perfectly still because she knew this version of him. His calmness scare her more than his anger ever could.
Gojo pulled her into his arms and wrapped her arms around him despite her protests. He buried his face against the side of her neck making her heart lurch and her entire body stiffened.
"I never give up once I set my eyes on something."
His nose suddenly brushed gently against her cheek.
"And I always get what I want, Hime-chan."
Her breath hitched. His warm breath brushed against her skin, and the expensive scent of his perfume filled her senses.
"S-Sensei..." Her voice was barely audible. "Let me go."
But Gojo's arms tightened around her.
"I will let you go far away from me." His voice was hoarse, sending a chill down her spine. "But I will never let you go that far."
His fingers gently stroked her hair as he finally pulled away, carefully fixing the strands that had fallen out of place.
"Not when I know you're only holding yourself back."
Utahime stepped backward. She opened the door, didn't bother closing it. The moment she was outside, she turned and sprinted down the hallway.
Gojo remained in the doorway, silently watching her retreating figure disappear around the corner. His expression was strangely calm.
"You'll give in soon..."
His eyes darted on the bracelet she made for him. One of his fingers played with its beads.
"My Hime-chan."