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For as startled as she was at first, Holly took to life aboard the Andromeda like a nightsider to Albequerque Drift. It took two weeks for her to learn Beka’s favorite midnight snack (meteorite clusters), where to find Tyr after a long shift (better to just not), and how Harper takes his coffee (he’ll take a Sparky, thank you very much). It took a month to learn a fraction of how much the makeshift family had been through, from insane high guard ships to insane high guard tweens.
Even with all this, it still took four months to manage to institute a movie night.
It started innocently enough. Trance found Holly on obs deck one day, finally looking how she SHOULD look after the hand the universe had dealt her. After a few minutes of casual conversation, Trance was able to break through in the simple, innocent way only she could. Within moments Holly was baring her sorrow and cracking apart into Trance’s arms, finally admitting that, while life on the Andromeda was wonderful, she was missing life on Earth. HER Earth, not what the Drago-Katsov had made of it.
Thus, movie night was born. Trance wrangled the crew into the lounge and declared every Friday night to be “Twenty-First Century Earth Education Night”, affectionately known as Tuf-Keen (only by Harper and Holly, but it made Trance happy anyway). They started with the classics: Citizen Kane, The Godfather, The Wizard of Oz. Then they moved on to slightly more “modern” selections: Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, Coco. No, Dylan wasn’t crying, there was something in his eye, dammit.
It was a tradition that even Tyr admitted added a bit of flair to life aboard the ship. The time spent as a crew brought them together in ways they couldn’t have anticipated and it created a desire to get to know the cultures of everyone on board. Films from Tarn Vedra, Beka’s favorites from childhood, even Tyr introduced a selection, “Restoration of Insanity”—though everyone agreed that future suggestions from Tyr would require a thorough background check in order to prevent further trauma.
Even with the slight hiccup here and there, everyone agreed that movie night was an incredible success. It brought them together in a way that only visual media can. Each week was filled with anticipation as the crew waited for their next selection.
Holly had been planning her choice for weeks, ever since her last turn. She had chosen The Sound of Music and decided to continue the musical kick with one of her favorites, Hamilton.
“You’re going to absolutely love it, I promise,” she insisted, settling herself onto the left side of the couch.
Harper was skeptical. He raised an eyebrow and fixed Holly with a side eye from the other side of the couch. “It’s a musical about a dead politician.”
“It’s so much more than that.”
“Everybody says that about dead politicians.”
Beka laughed, covering it with a cough while setting out the snacks. “Sorry, kid,” she smiled at Holly, plopping between her and Harper. “Other kid’s got a point.”
“Thanks, boss, I’m really feeling the love over here,” Harper said, grabbing a bowl and pelting Beka with kernels of popcorn.
Tyr reached over the arm of the couch and grabbed the bowl, lightly smacking Harper upside the head as he retreated back to his recliner. “And you question why I call you boy.”
Dylan chuckled, grabbing a bag of caphras jerky. “Children, children, does your Rommie need to separate you?”
“Don’t you drag me into this, they’re YOUR children.” Roomie levelled a glare at Dylan from across the lounge, but there was a slight uptick to the side of her mouth. She turned to Trance beside her on the dual lounger. “Tell me Trance—is there a future where I get through one of these nights without physically separating Harper and Beka?”
Trance hummed, a contemplative hand resting on her chin. “Signs point to no, concentrate and ask again.”
“Okay, okay, we get it, we’re all children,” Holly snatched the remote off the table. “But right now, we’re children that get to watch men in breeches rap about the American Revolution.”
For a while, everything went as it normally did. Dylan asked questions, Harper made remarks about the ‘realism’, Tyr steadfastly pretended to not enjoy himself. For the first half of act one, everything ran smoothly.
Then Aaron Burr began to sing.
Beka noticed it first. For the majority, Harper had been fidgeting, making comments, exhibiting his general inability to sit still for five minutes PLEASE. Then he quieted. His eyes were glued to the screen, his body finally still as Burr sang of his family, of control. Beka thought it was odd, but decided to leave it for the moment. The song ended, and slowly the ice melted from Harper into the previous fidgeting. Beka didn’t think anything more of it.
The musical continued.
Holly noticed it the second time. It wasn’t as obvious the second time, but she noticed him stiffen when Washington took center stage for the last time in act two. He waxed poetic of going home, reaping the rewards of his labors, and Harper’s face twisted into what Holly could only describe as a grimace. The crowd swelled with applause, even the crew in the lounge was moved to murmurs and awe.
“That was insane—”
“Incredible—”
“A fine man—”
Harper just sat, silently, a cloud of conflicting emotions covering his face. Holly leaned back and looked behind Beka, catching his eye for a moment. She raised an eyebrow and shrugged. You good?
A smile, if she could even call it that, slowly etched itself onto his face and he nodded. Fine. He turned back to the screen, elbows on his knees and body still.
The musical continued.
And Harper watched.
He watched people sing about a country, a world he had never known.
New York.
Immigrants.
Slavery.
Revolution…
The belief in a future.
The strings began, the militaristic cadence of the snare following and Washington took the stage for the last time.
Who lives, who dies, who tells your story?
This time everyone noticed.
Everyone in the room had gone silent. No jokes, no commentary.
It made it easy to hear Harper’s breath hitch in his throat.
Six sets of eyes found him, not all at once, but by the end of the song no one was watching the screen anymore.
His face was pale. His eyes were fixed to the screen, hanging onto every word.
It’s only a matter of time…
Harper choked. He finally tore his eyes away from the screen and hung his head, chin resting on his chest.
The song ended. Holly grabbed the remote and turned the screen off.
The lounge stayed quiet, only broken by the harsh rasp of Harper’s breathing. He raised his head, blinking rapidly.
Then he stood, hands clenched at his sides. “I’m going to bed.” Holly shifted, but he shook his head. She opened her mouth, but he beat her to it. “It’s okay. I’m tired.”
He started for the door and Dylan stood, blocking his way. “Harper.”
Harper continued, stepping around him. “Don’t.”
Dylan stepped in front of him. “Harper, what’s wrong?”
Harper slowly raised his eyes to Dylan.
Then he laughed.
Hard.
Everyone was stuck in a state of shock. Beka’s jaw was dropped; Tyr and Rommie were on the edge of their seats; Trance’s hands were covering her mouth; Holly’s eyes began to shimmer.
The laughter slowly became more strained, devolving into choked gasps before long. Dylan reached out a hand, placing it on Harper’s shoulder. “Seamus—”
Harper smacked it away. Tyr and Rommie immediately stood, but didn’t make a move otherwise. Harper shoved a finger into Dylan’s chest.
“You want to know what’s wrong?” His finger moved over Dylan’s shoulder, pointing at the now empty screen. “That’s what’s wrong.”
No one moved a muscle.
Harper’s voice rose. “That was Earth, oh fearless leader.”
“I know—”
“No, you don’t.” Harper interrupted, shoving Dylan. “You don’t get to say that.”
Dylan raised his hands. “Harper, calm down—”
The punch came so fast Dylan didn’t have time to react.
He staggered sideways, Rommie immediately finding her way to his side along with Trance. Beka and Holly rose from the couch, moving around the table toward Harper. Tyr took a step forward, a hand going to Harper’s bicep, but he didn’t even seem to notice. His eyes were locked on Dylan’s, forcing the older man to hold his stare.
Harper stood there breathing hard, eyes streaming and fists clenched. “You said you’d be there.”
Dylan’s eyes widened further before softening and filling with remorse. He waved Rommie and Trance away from his bleeding nose and stood. “I know.”
“You said you’d be right behind us.”
“I know.”
“We were there.” Harper’s voice cracked, anger fully breaking through the grief. “You remember that?”
Dylan didn’t say a word.
“Because I do.” Harper’s eyes were shining, but he refused to blink, refused to take his eyes off Hunt. “I remember waiting. I remember telling them you were coming, telling Brendan—”
He swallowed. “I told him we were gonna be okay.” Harper laughed again, bitter this time rather than hysterical. “I told him that because YOU told me.”
Dylan took a step forward. “Harper—”
“You left us.”
The words were a cracked whisper. Dylan would’ve rather kept the shouting. “We couldn’t get there.”
“I know.”
“You have to understand—”
“I KNOW!”
It was silent as a tomb. The ambient hum of the ship could be heard, louder than thunder.
Harper ripped his arm away from Tyr, running a shaking hand through his hair. “I understand perfectly!” He gestured to the rest of the crew. “Everybody was trying. You were trying, Beka was trying, I was trying!”
His voice broke and his eyes finally flowed freely. “And Brendan still died.”
Dylan’s face fell. Beka looked away, tears finally coming to her eyes. Tyr stared, brows furrowed. Rommie and Trance cast their eyes to the floor. Holly just cried, tears streaming silently down her face as she looked at Harper.
"I was all he had."
Silence.
"I was all he had and I—" Harper’s voice broke completely.
"And I left him.”
Beka moved toward him. Harper shook his head once, held up a hand.
"No."
She stopped. He looked back at the screen and swallowed. "I didn't even know what Earth was supposed to be."
His voice trembled.
"They had music."
The tears streamed down his face, faster now.
"They had theaters."
His shoulders began to shake.
"They had beauty."
He looked at Holly.
"They had you."
Holly's breath hitched. Her hands flew to her mouth, cutting off the whimper.
Harper looked back at Dylan. "People got to live there." He touched his chest. "I got the ruins."
"I'm sorry."
Harper froze. The words hit him harder than his punch had hit Dylan.
Dylan's voice was low. "I'm sorry I wasn't there."
Harper stared at him.
"I'm sorry you had to leave Brendan."
Harper's face crumpled. "You never said that."
"I know."
"I kept thinking..."
He covered his face. "You said I did good. Everyone went out to die and you said—" Harper couldn’t finish.
Dylan swallowed. "I'm sorry."
"And now everybody's gone."
Harper's hands fell, his voice was barely audible. "Everybody. My mother. My father. My little sister. Isaac. Declan. Siobhan. Brendan. Everyone I ever—"
His voice failed. He shook his head violently.
"Everyone."
Holly managed to catch him. She rushed forward as his knees started to wobble and brought him down gently as they collapsed completely. Harper clung to her.
"I don't remember," he sobbed.
Holly held him close, a hand coming up to his hair. "What?"
"I don't—" His breathing came in gasps, broken and stuttering. "Sometimes I can't remember their voices."
Holly squeezed her eyes shut. Harper cried against her shoulder.
"I'm the only one left, if… if I forget them, they’re gone, gone… I have to remember…” His fingers tightened around Holly's sleeve. "I have to remember everybody."
Holly held him as tightly as she could.
"You will."
Harper shook his head, his voice reduced to a breath.
"I'm so tired."
Dylan swallowed hard. Then his voice finally broke. “I’m so sorry, Seamus.”
Harper’s eyes squeezed shut. Dylan’s voice trembled. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there. I’m sorry you had to leave him.”
Harper sobbed harder. “I left him.”
Beka dropped to her knees, enveloping his other side. “I know.”
“I promised I’d come back.”
“I know.”
“I promised him.”
For a long time, no one spoke. No one moved. Blood and tears mixed on the deck between the Captain and the Engineer. Nobody said it would be okay. The only point of the lie is to comfort, and it would bring none. They all saw the truth:
Seamus Harper was born on Earth. He should have been born into the world Holly remembered, the world of beauty, of love.
Instead he was born into the ashes and left to mourn a home he’d never been allowed to know.