Curren Chan and Friends Cook Italian Food and Commit Unforgivable Crimes

by A_Lovely_Night_Sky

Summary:

Curren Chan: First… here❤

Curren snaps the pasta in half.

Sounds of Earth: …

Satono Diamond: …

Curren Chan: Huh? What’s wrong, you two? Your faces aren’t cute.

Curren Chan announces an Italian cooking stream and recruits Sounds of Earth and Satono Diamond to help. What begins as a cute kitchen collaboration becomes months of merciless training and hate crimes against the Italian people.

Creator’s note: I’ll likely release a complete breakdown of how this format was made, along with the Python tool for generating works like this, once development is complete.

Join the Umamusume Fanfic Community Discord:
https://discord.gg/63VcUnUk87

Notes:

Yeh I gave up fuck this honestly, I had an original idea for this see the following link:

This is the original formatted version
https://storage.googleapis.com/ardin-dev/curren_chan_cooking_stream_reader_corrected.html

☀ LIGHT☾ DARK

● LIVE

FOLLOW✓ FOLLOWING

Curren Chan and Friends Cook Pasta128,427 FOLLOWERS128,428 FOLLOWERS

Curren Chan's Video Kitchen

📌PINNED ANNOUNCEMENTDon't forget to follow and check out my other socials for more streams and stories!

LIVECurren Chan's Video Kitchen

Curren Chan

Hi, it's Curren Chan❤ Today's video is a cooking stream❤ Ah! You're all worried, right? But it's okay! I invited teachers today❤

Sounds of Earth & Satono Diamond

Enter at Curren’s signal—Earth in a blue T-shirt, Diamond in a white “Kitchen” shirt.

Sounds of EarthITALIANO

Ciao, signore! Dato che oggi prepariamo un piatto italiano, la cucina italiana è la mia specialità!!

ENHello, sir! Since we're making Italian today, Italian cuisine is my specialty!!

Satono Diamond

I'll be helping too❤

Curren Chan

Thank you both for coming today❤ Then let's start with pasta❤

Sounds of Earth

Excellent! There are many different kinds of pasta, you know. I prefer tagliatelle.

Satono Diamond

The flat kind, right? I like the ones that look like ribbons. They're cute.

Sounds of Earth

Farfalle, yes. They certainly are beautiful, with a lovely appearance like you girls.

Curren Chan

There are lots of kinds, but today we'll use normal pasta❤ Try to guess what I'm making❤

Curren Chan

Takes out the pasta...

Curren Chan

First... here❤

Curren Chan

Snaps the pasta in half.

Sounds of Earth

...

Satono Diamond

...

Curren Chan

Huh? What's wrong, you two? Your faces aren't cute.

Sounds of Earth & Satono Diamond

Silently pull stockings over their heads as Curren tilts her head.

Sounds of Earth & Satono Diamond

Earth produces a bag of macarons. Diamond readies a rolling pin.

Curren Chan

You two, why are you taking out cute macarons?

Sounds of Earth

...

slide

Satono Diamond

...

slide

Sounds of EarthITALIANO

...Fallo.

ENDo it.

snap

Satono DiamondITALIANO

Sì.

ENYes.

Sounds of Earth & Satono Diamond

At Earth’s finger snap, Diamond crushes the macarons with the rolling pin—again and again.

Curren Chan

What are you doing?

Sounds of Earth & Satono Diamond

Remove the stockings and glare at a completely baffled Curren.

Sounds of EarthITALIANO

Ma che cosa ti passa per la testa!! Spezzare la pasta!! Sei posseduta dal diavolo!? Se è così, dimmelo subito e chiamerò un prete!!

ENWhat on earth are you thinking!! Breaking pasta!! Are you possessed by the devil!? If so, say so quickly and I'll call a priest!!

Satono DiamondITALIANO

Vattene!! Diavolo!!

ENBegone, devil!!

Sounds of Earth & Satono Diamond

Diamond points a wooden cross at Curren while Earth raises her voice even further.

Sounds of Earth

Why would you break pasta in the first place!! It becomes hard to wrap around a fork and hard to eat!!

Satono DiamondITALIANO

Non siamo bambini!!

ENWe are not babies!!

Curren Chan

Why are you both angry?

Sounds of Earth & Satono Diamond

Because you broke the pasta!!!!

At Curren, who did not understand what mortal sin she had committed, the two instinctively shouted in Italian in perfect sync.

Curren Chan

Puffs up and shows them the recipe she used as reference.

Curren Chan

Curren looked at a proper recipe today, okay?

Sounds of Earth

Show me!!

Curren Chan

It's an UmaTok video, but...

Sounds of Earth & Satono Diamond

Watch the video—and immediately raise their voices even more.

Sounds of Earth

This is an American recipe!! Look at a proper Italian recipe!!

Satono Diamond

That is the country that puts pineapple on pizza!!

Curren Chan

Mmm!! If you're going to say that much, then you two show me how it's done!!

Sounds of Earth

You said it! Then we shall show you!! Diamond-kun!!

Satono Diamond

Yes!

Sounds of Earth & Satono Diamond

Diamond opens a bag of tagliatelle while Earth fills a large pot with water.

Sounds of Earth

First, boil the pasta! Everyone knows that!!

Satono Diamond

Will bacon be all right?

Sounds of Earth

Since we don't have time to prepare anything from scratch, let's use a little extra bacon... Also, because I want to add umami, I think we might add some peperoni I brought for pizza. What do you think?

Satono Diamond

Good idea. I'll chop it finely.

Sounds of Earth

Please do.

Curren Chan

Silently keeps the smartphone camera rolling as the two work with practiced hands.

Sounds of Earth

First, put bacon and chopped peperoni in the frying pan and sauté them. Normally we would add guanciale, but since we have none today, we substitute bacon and peperoni.

Satono Diamond

Adding butter at the right time may be good as well, don't you think?

Sounds of Earth

Excellent idea. If we want richness, let's do that.

Satono Diamond

I'll make the sauce.

Satono Diamond

Adds egg yolks to a bowl and takes out a block of cheese.

Satono Diamond

The cheese we'll use is pecorino.

Curren Chan

Huh? You don't use fresh cream?

Satono Diamond

We do not. True carbonara is made with simple ingredients.

Satono Diamond

Answers while grating the cheese into the bowl.

Satono Diamond

Add 0.5 times as much cheese as you think.

Curren Chan

That is a weirdly precise digit.

Satono Diamond

Once you have added enough, season with black pepper.

Sounds of Earth

The pasta is boiled.

Satono Diamond

Please.

Sounds of Earth

Adds a little pasta water to the sauce and to the pan of sautéed bacon.

Sounds of Earth

Do not waste pasta water! You would waste the umami.

Sounds of Earth & Satono Diamond

Earth combines the pasta and bacon while Diamond readies the sauce.

Satono Diamond

Ready.

Sounds of Earth

Please.

Satono Diamond

Adds the sauce at Earth’s signal.

Satono Diamond

Cuts the heat and quickly combines the pasta and sauce.

Satono Diamond

Plates the carbonara beautifully and finishes it with more cheese.

Sounds of Earth

This is true carbonara!!

Satono DiamondITALIANO

Buon appetito!!

ENEnjoy!!

Curren Chan

Wow... the plating is beautiful...

Sounds of Earth

Plating is part of cooking...

Curren Chan

Then... I'll eat.

Curren Chan

Twirls the pasta and takes one bite—then freezes as the flavor hits like lightning.

Curren Chan

I've made it... I've made it several times before... but what was everything Curren made until now...?

Satono Diamond

Is it delicious?

Curren Chan

Yes... very...

Curren Chan

Sets down her phone and bows deeply to the two of them.

Curren Chan

Please, both of you... teach Curren... how to cook...

Sounds of Earth

Are you sure you want us?

Curren Chan

Yes... Your carbonara moved me...

Satono Diamond

The training will be strict, Curren-san.

Curren Chan

That's okay! Curren will endure it!! I'll work hard so I can make delicious homemade food for Onii-chan!!

Sounds of Earth

Lets out a small snorting laugh.

Sounds of EarthITALIANO

Per amore... Molto bene. Seguici!!

ENFor love... Very well. Follow us!!

Curren Chan

Yes!!

NEXT COURSEAND AFTER THAT...Practice Kitchen

Sounds of Earth

Adjust the time and heat properly! You'll burn it black again!!

Curren Chan

Yes!!

Satono Diamond

Not approved!!

Curren's...

Satono Diamond

Taste it properly!! Once you put it on the plate, you cannot redo it!!

Curren Chan

Yes!!

Sounds of Earth

Not approved!!

Painful and strict days of training...

Sounds of Earth

Do not make cute arrangements!!

Curren Chan

But cooking needs color too...

Satono Diamond

At your current level, you do not need such things!!

Sounds of Earth & Satono Diamond

Not approved!!

...continued.

TIME SKIPSEVERAL MONTHS LATERTraining Kitchen

Curren Chan

How is it...?

Curren Chan

Presents the two of them with a pizza made using everything she has learned.

Sounds of Earth

Slowly stands after tasting the pizza while Curren waits anxiously.

Sounds of Earth

Gently places a hand on Curren’s shoulder as she lowers her head.

Sounds of Earth

Congratulations... you pass...

Curren Chan

Earth-san...

Satono Diamond

As proof of your passing, please accept this...

Satono Diamond

Offers Curren the rolling pin from back then. Curren accepts it and hugs it tightly.

Curren Chan

Thank you, both of you... I'll treasure it for the rest of my life...

Thanks to the two's passionate instruction, Curren's cooking skill (Italian only) had improved dramatically...

In exchange...Home Kitchen

REWINDIN EXCHANGE...HOME KITCHEN

Tap the IN EXCHANGE divider again to close.

Curren Chan

How is it, Onii-chan? Is it good?

Onii-chan

Yeah, it's delicious.

Curren Chan

I'm glad... Earth-san taught me. Next time I'll make lasagna for you.

Onii-chan

(Why is she wearing black rubber gloves the whole time...?)

Curren Chan

That's all for today's cooking stream! See you next time❤

Curren Chan

Tosses the thin rubber gloves onto the cutting board and gives the camera two thumbs-up.

For some reason, Curren Chan became someone who always wears thin black rubber gloves whenever she cooks...

● STREAM ENDEDTHANKS FOR WATCHING!

Curren Chan and friends have finished cooking pasta. Thankyou For reading, I'll release a tool to create this much later if you would like that. Remember that Curren is always the cutest. There is no one cuter than her.

120 STORY MESSAGES4 SCENES128K FOLLOWERS

END OF STREAM ARCHIVE

Notes:

Join the Umamusume Fanfic Community Discord: https://discord.gg/63VcUnUk87

 

 

Original format which was interactive:

https://storage.googleapis.com/ardin-dev/curren_chan_cooking_stream_reader_corrected.html

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 9 of Crack Fic
• Part 1 of Experimental Works