Chapter Text
"Truth or dare?" He pondered over it a second, "Sure, I'll play."
"Ok then, Pan." Devin smirked, locking eyes with Felix, as though that single glance told him everything he needed to know, about what was about to unfold.
"Truth or Dare?"
With a mischievous glint in his eyes, Peter answered, "Dare."
"...I dare you, to get up, and kiss the person that you admire most in the circle, on the lips."
Felix's eyes widened as though it only just hit him what that look had meant.
He told Devin that in confidence, it was the sort of thing people talked about when bored on patrol late into the hours of the night...so he was told. Devin talked about how he thought Rufio was the one for him, how he came to realise it after a close call with Hook. So Felix thought it was only fair to say how he felt about Pan. He doesn't even know how their strange aquantenceship came about. He recalls Peter putting them on the same guard shift and questioning why he ever thought that was a good idea. In his eyes they weren't really friends or at least not in the conventional way, more-so two people in a friendly competition for attention.
"Excuse me, Devin." Peter spoke as he stood, snapping Felix out of his daydream.
Devin continued to watch Felix as though he was waiting for a big reaction, Rufio sent him an encouraging look and the other lost boys waited around with barely contained excitement and curiosity.
It was no secret to anyone who stumbles upon this island, of both a blessing and a curse, that Felix was the most loyal to Pan. Through thick and thin, it didn't matter how questionable his intentions could be at times, Felix was always there by his side. So, if some of the other had seen the quiet longing in the boy's eyes, nothing had been said aloud, however, inside they were cheering for him.
It didn't matter though because not even a second later Peter was planting a delicate yet passionate kiss upon Wendy's lips.
"Now that's fucked up..." Devin trailed off.
He watched as everyone's faces dropped but he doubted that they could even begin to understand how much more that sight hurt him. He felt his stomach twist and not in a good way. It felt like his heart had been ripped harshly out of his chest and torn to shreds before it was finally crushed in front of his eyes. It almost hurt him more than they did. He thought he found a family here, a home, but for the first time in forever since that night, he heard the sound of that ethereal music floating in the air from his pan flute.
"I-I gotta g-go" He managed to quietly stutter out.
"Felix," he could see the apology written all over Devin's face.
For a second there he had almost gotten his hopes up. He was fool to think Pan would ever look at him that way.
But they were crushed before anything could be done, so he just got up and started to leave. Too lost in their own trains of thought and the sight of Peter and Wendy, most hadn't noticed that the Second in Command was no longer amongst the group. And neither was his supposed rival.
"I'm fine," he whispered, just loud enough for Devin to hear.
He kept his back towards him knowing full well that the moment he looked back his mask would slip, and everything would just fall apart. He would fall apart. He didn't know where he was going, just that he had to get out of there.
"FELIX!" This time Devin's voice came out a bit stronger, echoing slightly in the abyss of the woods. It was just the two of them now and despite knowing better he turned around to face him.
"Don't put the blame on him, we're only human after all." Felix spoke, though whether he was trying to convince Devin or himself was unknown.
And after everything, everything that he had said, everything that he had done, Felix was still so loyal to Pan. And Devin couldn't seem to work out why.
"He ought to learn after 400 years, he can't be so blind to this, so I AM putting the blame on him." Devin matched, the venom I his tone clear as the night sky over Neverland.
"Peter is the one I admire, the one I want."
Devin stayed quiet a moment, not quite sure how to respond.
"Peter."
"What about Felix?" He finally spoke up.
"What about Felix?"
"That's it. I've had it with you." The frustration clear and evident in Devin's voice. "After almost 400 years how the hell can you be so blind too."
"What?" Confusion was written on his face for all to see.
See, despite his usual stoic appearance he, just like most in the island, was still a boy. One of the older ones for sure but a boy none the less.
"He's not good for you, and I'm tired of seeing you hurt and let down by every little decision and choice of his. Tonight...tonight went too far I'll admit that, but I should have stepped in sooner."
He paused, waiting patiently for Felix's reaction.
"It's nothing more than a cruel joke designed for me by some higher power. I'm sick of it, why me."
"Whatever"
Devin's carefree response messed with the boy's head.
"Whatever?"
"He doesn't deserve you, or your loyalty," he started. "And I know that he saved you, he saved most of us, but he doesn't give you the time of day so why do you give him every second and breath you have."
Felix never thought about it that way, but he had been brought up with the belief that everything came with a cost. So maybe he should have questioned some things, but growing up with them taught him not to, whether he understood why or not. Given this, it's rather unsurprising that he stood by Pan for so long; after all, he had saved him. In turn, he believed that he owed the boy king his life, and no one ever wondered why.
"The thing is," Devin continued, bring Felix's attention back to him.
"He doesn't know what he has, and he won't until he doesn't have it anymore. So as much as it hurts, take a moment not to think of him but of you, and what it is that you want, what you really want. Hell, take more than a moment, take day, a week, a month, hey, even a century if that is what you want, what you need."
"But where does that leave me." He asked in a small voice, lacking his usual off-putting aura of authority.
"With the time to discover who you are." Devin responded wit a gentle pat on the back in an attempt to comfort him.
Suddenly a smirk made its way onto Devin's face.
"You know what, since Peter loves games oh so much, I say we give him a taste of his own medicine."
With a tilt of his head, Felix asked, "What did you have in mind?"
"How would you like to play game, Felix? A love game."
Felix stared at him as though he'd finally lost his mind.
It's not that he didn't know that Devin was right. Peter did love a good game, and he did want to give him a taste of his own medicine, but was this really the best way to go about it. To play with his feelings.
Felix had earned his place as Second-in-Command through undying loyalty to Pan no matter what. Was he really that willing to give it all up, and for what, an unrequited crush.
Yes, yes he was. Because despite being on this Island for 400 years, he was still a child. Maybe one of the older ones being one of the few lost boys that were between the ages of 16 - 18, but a child, nonetheless. And children are petty. They are smart, creative, curious, and petty.
"Let's do it," he smirked.
He was going to play this game with Devin, give Peter a taste of his own medicine and he was going to enjoy it.