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It had seemed easy in Shen Qingqiu’s head as they flew back to their inn. Luo Binghe had been hit with a strange wifeplot flower, and nearly every strange wifeplot flower could be reversed through papapa. Ergo, he and Binghe would need to papapa, and then the effects of the flower would be gone! That might have been an intimidating prospect early in their relationship, but they weren’t fumbling virgins anymore. They understood each other’s bodies fairly well at this point!
Except, Shen Qingqiu realized as he stared at Luo Binghe in the privacy of their inn room, he did not understand this body at all.
Luo Binghe was very gentle as she removed the outer robe Shen Qingqiu had draped over her shoulders, and then much less gentle as she removed her own torn robes. Shen Qingqiu opened his fan with a snap and hid his face behind it when Luo Binghe exposed her chest.
“Shizun?” she asked, tuned in to his reactions as always. “Are you feeling well?”
Shen Qingqiu forced himself to lift his gaze from the sword scar that stretched over the swell of her left breast. “Binghe is the one afflicted with some strange flower,” he deflected. “This master is perfectly well in comparison.”
Luo Binghe’s eyes narrowed, calculating for a brief moment before her expression cleared and she smiled coyly. “Is Shizun going to help this disciple understand her particular affliction?” she asked, batting her eyelashes suggestively.
Agh!! That expression had no right being as lethal as it was, regardless of Luo Binghe’s form! Shen Qingqiu thickened his face and stepped closer. Luo Binghe’s eyes glittered when he reached out a hand to her, and her expression fell when he only pressed his fingers to one of her acupoints.
“Your qi seems to be flowing well,” he said, keeping his voice even and his gaze above her collarbone.
“Shizun should investigate more thoroughly,” she said pointedly.
Shen Qingqiu sent her a look and scolded her with a light pinch. “Binghe is not subtle.” Still, he stepped away again and began removing his remaining robes. Delighted to be getting what she wanted, Luo Binghe stripped herself of her pants and laid down on the inn bed. Really! Insatiable, this one!
As Shen Qingqiu climbed into bed after her, he tried to tell himself this would be even easier than normal. Surely straight sex was less complicated than gay sex, right? He didn’t even have to deal with the Heavenly Pillar for once!
He had topped before, of course. It had taken some whining and cajoling from Luo Binghe before he gave in. It went… fine. Luo Binghe certainly seemed to enjoy it, for the novelty if nothing else. Shen Qingqiu was a little too busy trying not to immediately embarrass himself as soon as he got his dick wet. He did, admittedly, get some sick satisfaction out of seeing Luo Binghe flushed and whining underneath him, but he still found it difficult to keep up with Binghe’s stamina even from the other end. Somehow his hips still ended up sore afterwards! It was just easier to let Luo Binghe do the work most of the time. Still, they had switched positions a handful of times since then, usually when they were both worked up but Shen Qingqiu didn’t want to spend the next day limping.
Looking at Luo Binghe laid out before him now, he thought maybe he might prefer the Pillar. At least he knew how it worked.
“Shizun?” Luo Binghe asked, sensing his hesitation. “Is something wrong?”
He mentally slapped himself. Get it together! Luo Binghe is sensitive! Do not make her cry just because you’ve never seen a pussy before!
“Binghe has to tell me what feels good,” he said, rubbing his hands along her outer thighs.
“It always feels good when Shizun touches me,” Luo Binghe said unhelpfully.
Shen Qingqiu pinched her thigh and put on his stern teacher voice. “I mean it. You must tell me what feels good and what doesn’t. This master is… inexperienced with this anatomy,” he admitted, praying that he wasn’t actually blushing to add to the blushing virgin look.
Luo Binghe looked like she was about to take pity on him, but at his last sentence, confusion crossed her face. “Shizun… has not been with a woman before?”
“Give this master some face,” Shen Qingqiu grumbled, avoiding her gaze.
“I knew Shizun’s first time with a man was with this disciple, but I thought…” she trailed off. Shen Qingqiu pressed his lips together in a flat line and said nothing, waiting for her to draw her own conclusions. He knew the original goods had a reputation for patronizing brothels, but if he’d ever gotten laid, this Shen Qingqiu certainly hadn’t been around for it!
Whatever conclusion Luo Binghe came to, the confusion slid off her face only to be replaced with a smug expression. “This disciple will do her best to assist in Shizun’s learning,” she said, spreading her legs a little wider.
Shen Qingqiu sent her a withering look. Don’t make it sound like you’re some kind of research assistant! And stop being so smug about stealing your teacher’s virginity a second time!!
He said none of that, of course. Instead, he sat back and forced himself to properly inspect what had replaced the Heavenly Pillar. The Heavenly Flower, perhaps? Hm. He’d workshop it.
It’s not that he’d never seen a woman’s vagina before! He’d watched porn! Not much porn, since he preferred the written variety, but still! He knew what it looked like! He’d also read thousands of words of dubious quality describing them, which had to count for something!
This was just the first time he’d dealt with one personally.
It looked… normal enough, from the outside at least? Not that he was the best judge. He cautiously slid a finger between her outer lips, spreading them. They were already slightly wet, which must be a good thing, right? Luo Binghe made a pleased little hum, which also seemed like a good sign.
Beneath the outer folds were more folds, these a darker color. He slid a finger between those next, trying to seem like he wasn’t just fumbling about. His finger prodded at a dip, and Luo Binghe twitched away from him with a startled noise. He immediately withdrew his hand in a panic, but she quickly grabbed his wrist before he could get far.
“No, it’s okay!” she reassured him. “I was just surprised. It feels different.”
Shen Qingqiu pursed his lips. Of course it felt different! It was a whole new set of bits down there! Still, he let her guide his hand back to its questing search, though he avoided where he’d poked prior. They would need to work up to that.
Foreplay was the most important thing he and Binghe had learned about over the course of their sexual relationship. Getting right to it could be fun, sure, but the experience was usually much better if Luo Binghe took his time working him up first. The principle should be the same here.
The clit was an important part of that, right? That’s why there was so much fuss about finding the clit, which Shen Qingqiu had always thought was ridiculous. It was always described as a button in his smut novels; shouldn’t a button be obvious? How hard was it to hit a button?
Shen Qingqiu stared down at Luo Binghe spread out before him. He didn’t see a button anywhere.
He continued to poke around blindly, praying that this wasn't a horrible mood killer. Fortunately, Luo Binghe really had meant it when she said it always felt good when Shen Qingqiu touched her; just having his hands on her at all was usually enough to get her excited. Still, he was more keyed into her reactions than ever, searching for some indication that he was on the right track. He finally got it when his finger pressed against something higher up on her cunt, and she twitched, a startled whine escaping her.
“Binghe?” he prompted, cautiously rubbing that spot.
“It feels good,” Luo Binghe confirmed, a light flush on her cheeks. “Shizun can press harder.”
Shen Qingqiu obligingly rubbed with a bit more pressure, then switched to his thumb when it became more obvious where he was supposed to be touching. He supposed it was kind of like a button, in a sense. Press here to make Luo Binghe squirm and whine! Gaining some confidence, he found a good hand position where he could rub firm circles around her clit while also toying with the rim of her entrance with the pads of two of his other fingers. He didn't quite have the confidence to actually enter her yet, but just the rim seemed sensitive enough, based on Luo Binghe's pleased little gasps.
Once he figured out what he was doing with his hand, he realized he should probably be paying attention to the rest of Luo Binghe's body. He leaned down and pressed warm kisses to her abdomen, noting the ways her muscles twitched under his attention. Even in this form, Luo Binghe had retained her sturdy muscles, preserved under the layer of fat that she'd gained over the years since their marriage. Shen Qingqiu lightly dragged his teeth over her sensitive flesh, delighting in the way she shivered.
He then moved up to her chest and allowed himself a moment to admire it. He'd never really been a boobs guy himself; even as a straight man in the modern era, he'd sneered at the guys who drooled over anime girls with their huge bouncing tits. For some reason, it was different when it was Luo Binghe. Her chest really was a ridiculous size – was she going to need to worry about back pain?? – but, well, it was Binghe after all. Of course Shen Qingqiu couldn't help but get distracted by her tits! Who could ever resist Binghe?!
He leaned down and mouthed at her chest scar. He really doubted the sensation there was any different from anywhere else, but Luo Binghe always seemed especially reactive when he paid attention to it. Predictably, when she realized where his mouth was, her hips gave an especially large twitch. Unable to react in time, Shen Qingqiu's fingers slipped and prodded just inside her entrance. Luo Binghe moaned, and when Shen Qingqiu tried to pull his hand back, she grabbed his arm.
“Shizun, please,” she begged, her eyes wide and watery. Dammit, she knew how weak Shen Qingqiu was to that expression!
He obliged and slid a finger – just one! You can't just skip straight to two, Binghe, you know better!! – deeper into her. Even around just his finger, the sensation was so much more than he expected, hotter and wetter and softer than anything he'd felt before. He abruptly imagined how it would feel around his dick and had to bury his face in her chest to muffle his groan. Luo Binghe let out her own pleased moan, rocking her hips against his hand.
“Shizun feels so good,” she moaned. He clenched his other hand on her breast – when did that get there? – making her moan even louder.
“Don't call me that,” he snapped, though the scolding effect was definitely ruined by how obviously mortified he was.
“Husband,” Luo Binghe corrected herself with a whimper, and oh, that was actually worse. Better to avoid letting her talk at all, he decided, moving further up to kiss her on the mouth.
Luo Binghe kissed back just as clumsily and enthusiastically as ever. She'd gotten much better at it over the years, but her excitement often overpowered any skill. At least she didn't bite (as much) anymore. Shen Qingqiu was happy to kiss her and swallow her pleased noises.
Shen Qingqiu wasn't sure how much time passed like that – it was hard to keep track of that sort of thing with a moaning protagonist writhing underneath you – but it eventually became clear that something needed to change. For the sake of his wrist, if nothing else. Luo Binghe's mouth was wonderful, and his free hand was still kneading one of her obnoxiously perfect breasts, but his more occupied arm was wedged at an awkward angle between them, and his hand was starting to get sore from trying to stimulate Luo Binghe both internally and externally.
Luo Binghe seemed to agree. “Husband,” she breathed against his lips, “Husband, this disciple needs more.”
Part of Shen Qingqiu's brain complained that it sort of ruined the point of calling him husband if she was still calling herself disciple. The rest of Shen Qingqiu's brain immediately began freaking out about the rest of her words. More?! Oh god!!! He knew what more entailed! He knew this was all building up to the final act, which would involve– ahem. But he couldn't just skip to the end, could he?! This was a whole new part of Luo Binghe's body, one that had never experienced any of that before! Ignoring the way that thought went straight to his dick, what if he hurt her by rushing straight to the end? There had to be some way to bridge the gap, a way to give her more without giving her that.
Before he could pussy out (ha!) he pulled back and shuffled down until his head was between her legs. Luo Binghe clearly realized what he was intending to do based on the gasp she let out, but he refused to embarrass himself further by looking at her face. He gathered all his nerve and dove in.
The high pitched moan she let out as he licked her cunt was extremely gratifying. The taste wasn't really all that different from before, still rather musky and something uniquely Binghe. He hadn't blown Luo Binghe very often before – seriously, that dick was far too big!! – but he wasn't entirely unfamiliar with oral. Giving head was still giving head, right? The principles should be the same.
This method was somehow even more effective than his fingers had been. Luo Binghe's gasps and moans became more frantic, and she writhed underneath him as he sought out her clit. He rolled it under the flat of his tongue, pleased by the sound that forced out of her throat. He employed the same tactics he'd used when sucking Luo Binghe off. He kissed and licked between her folds, making her squirm, then wrapped his lips around her clit. She clawed through the sheets when he sucked and massaged his tongue against her clit, and when he tentatively scraped his teeth against the sensitive nub, she nearly screamed. Incurable M, indeed!
He slipped in another finger, doing his best to massage her inside while the rest of his attention was focused on her clit. He vaguely remembered seeing a post at some point about spelling the alphabet with your tongue. If his old English tutor knew this was what he was doing with his English lessons, the man would've probably fainted from shock, but it wasn't like Shen Qingqiu had much other use for English these days!
Luo Binghe seemed very pleased with the alphabet practice happening between her legs, if the way she was insistently rocking against him was any indication. Shen Qingqiu had to take care not to smash his nose on her pubic bone with the way she was canting her hips.
Eventually Shen Qingqiu ran out of Latin letters and had to resort to gently teasing her with his teeth while he tried to decide whether he remembered enough from his brief attempt to teach himself Japanese to draw kana on her cunt. It was at this point that Luo Binghe decided she'd had enough.
“Shizun,” she moaned, clenching around his fingers. “Shizun, please put it in.”
Shen Qingqiu was not able to bite back his groan in time. Young lady, if you keep talking like that, your shizun won’t have anything to put in! He reluctantly lifted his head, though his fingers continued to methodically stretch her. “Is Binghe sure?” he asked, still attempting some caution.
Luo Binghe looked up at him with her big pitiful doe eyes, which was absolutely lethal in combination with the raw sex appeal exuding from the rest of her. It should not be legal to be so cute and sexy! It was going to be the death of this old master!
“Shizun,” she repeated, pushing her bottom lip out in an artful pout, “Won’t you please this wife?”
Shen Qingqiu swore he stopped breathing for a second. He pulled his fingers out – perhaps too quickly, based on the hitch in Luo Binghe’s breath – and lined himself up. He pushed in as carefully as he could manage, clinging to the last threads of his self restraint as hard as he could. Holy fuck. His few times topping had not prepared him for this, for how wet and soft she would be, for how it would feel squeezing around his dick. Luo Binghe made a choked noise, and he forced himself to stop about halfway through.
“Is Binghe okay?” he asked, rubbing his hands along her thighs in a way he hoped was reassuring. His dick wasn’t anywhere near as huge as the Heavenly Pillar, but it was certainly bigger than two of his fingers, and anything new entering a previously unexplored place was sure to be overwhelming!
Luo Binghe shook her head fiercely, tears appearing on her lashes. “Feels good,” she said, though her voice cracked. She shifted her hips slightly, making Shen Qingqiu slip in another small fraction. “Husband should keep going.”
Shen Qingqiu grit his teeth. He would not come before he was fully sheathed! He refused!! “We should take it slow,” he insisted, for his sake just as much as hers.
Luo Binghe was done with taking it slow. Shen Qingqiu only got a second to register how her eyes flashed before his back suddenly hit the bed. He opened his mouth to reprimand her for their change in positions, but all that escaped him was a loud moan as Luo Binghe sank all the way down in one go. Luo Binghe’s moan was much more self-satisfied compared to the half-choked noises she was coaxing out of him with every shift of her hips.
“Binghe!” he scolded, though the effect was ruined by his voice pitching higher when she rolled her hips.
“Shizun knows this wife is not so fragile,” she said, looking far too smug above him. Shen Qingqiu made a strangled noise and covered his face with his hands. Luo Binghe laughed, and Shen Qingqiu hoped it wasn’t obvious how much his heart pounded at the sound.
Things devolved very quickly after that. In the early days of their relationship, they’d fumbled through sex for a variety of reasons. Mostly because neither of them really knew what they were doing, but also because Luo Binghe’s enthusiasm could get a little out of hand when coupled with the weapon of mass destruction that was the Heavenly Pillar. Now, however, she’d been disarmed of that weapon, and she could let her excitement run wild. She demonstrated an impressive amount of strength as she bounced on his lap, riding him like her life depended on it. Who was the stallion here, ah?!
It was all Shen Qingqiu could do to keep up with her. He put his hands on her hips in an attempt to guide her, but it quickly became clear she didn’t need any help. Their teeth knocked together uncomfortably when she leaned down to kiss him, but with some shuffling, he managed to sit up enough to kiss her neck. The noises she was making were mortifying (though not nearly as mortifying as his own noises, which he was desperately trying to ignore) but he couldn’t deny that it was nice hearing just how much she was enjoying herself.
That is, until she started talking too.
“Feels so good,” Luo Binghe panted. Her hands were planted on Shen Qingqiu’s chest, and he was struck by a bolt of fondness when he realized how much restraint it was taking for her to avoid clawing him. “Shizun, does it feel good for you too? Ah, we should be like this all the time. Husband, hn, husband should let this one sit on his lap while he grades papers. Oh, or during Peak Lord meetings.”
Shen Qingqiu was well used to Luo Binghe’s exhibitionist fantasies, but he still felt he should discourage such behaviors. Unfortunately, most of his capacity for higher thought was being obliterated with every bounce of Luo Binghe’s hips, so his only way to scold her was to bite sharply on her collarbone. This only spurred her on even more, gasping and tossing her head back.
“Mn, but then they’d get to see you like this,” she said, and Shen Qingqiu cursed internally. Still on that train of thought?! “Shizun is so handsome, so beautiful.” She lowered her head to drag slightly too sharp teeth along his earlobe. Shen Qingqiu would deny the noise he made in response until the day he died. “Only this Binghe should get to see Shizun like this.”
An exhibitionist and possessive?! Pick one, dammit! Shen Qingqiu groaned and tightened his grip on her hips. “Binghe,” he panted, cursing at how desperate his own voice sounded. “Binghe, I won’t last.”
He’d intended to make her ease up a little with that statement, wanting it to last longer for her sake, but his words had the opposite effect. Her hips increased their speed, and her hands slid over to pinch and tease at his nipples. Shen Qingqiu wanted to complain – only one of them had breasts, and it wasn’t him! – but all that escaped him was a whine. Kissing with any finesse was still impossible, but that didn’t stop her from leaning down and sucking on his tongue like she could swallow it into her own mouth.
“Husband,” she murmured against his lips, “Won’t you let this one feel you?”
Shen Qingqiu came with a shout, clutching her hips so hard he worried it would bruise. Knowing Luo Binghe, she would keep the bruises if it did. Distantly, a thought drifted out of the white noise rushing through his ears: oh fuck, should they have used protection?! Guiltily, all he could do in response to that thought was press his face into her neck and moan. Oh well. Too late now.
After what felt like an eternity, he collapsed back into the bed, panting for breath. Luo Binghe was still seated on top of him, looking far too satisfied with herself.
“How did your Binghe do?” she asked, her eyes wide and innocent like she was asking for feedback on an essay, not sex.
“Do you really have to ask?” Shen Qingqiu protested weakly, though he already knew the answer. It didn’t matter how many times they did it, Luo Binghe was always eager for praise. “Binghe was very good.”
Luo Binghe predictably glowed with happiness under the praise, and he was reminded that he still had not pulled out when he felt her clench around his softening dick. On that note…
“Did Binghe come?” he asked, finally letting go of her hips to stroke her thighs. He went slightly pink when he saw that he had in fact left handprints on her hips.
“I’m not sure,” Luo Binghe admitted. Shen Qingqiu frowned. Not sure? How could you not be sure about that kind of thing? Though maybe it really was more subtle for women, which is how so many women got away with faking their orgasms. Dread jolted through him. He would not be one of those men whose girlfriends faked orgasms to make their boyfriends happy!!
Misunderstanding the look on his face, Luo Binghe quickly started reassuring him. “Shizun has made me feel very good, though! This disciple is happy with just Shizun’s pleasure–”
“Absolutely not,” Shen Qingqiu said, sharper than he intended. He was wracking his brain for anything he hadn’t tried yet. There was one thing he remembered showing up in a PIDW chapter. He’d mostly skimmed it like he usually did with the sex scenes, and he’d have to be careful not to overdo it, but… “Let this master take care of you,” he said, gentling his tone.
He carefully lifted her off his lap, steadfastly ignoring the mess she left behind, and shifted so he could sit up a little better with her on his thighs. She went easily when he guided her into a kiss, one hand cradling the back of her head. His other hand drifted lower, and she shivered when he brushed his fingers against the ticklish stretch of skin where her hips met her thighs. He smiled against her lips, then steeled himself. He focused his spiritual energy in the pad of his thumb, just enough to cause a light buzz in the air, then pressed his thumb to her clit.
Luo Binghe jolted like she’d been electrocuted. He almost panicked, terrified that he’d overdone it and hurt her, but one look at her expression disabused him of that notion.
“Sh- Ah! Shizun!” she moaned. She threw her head back and clutched his shoulders, trembling from head to toe.
“Binghe likes it?” he asked unnecessarily. She nodded, gasping, so he carefully increased the energy. Tears filled her eyes, but he could tell these were the good kind of tears for once, so he leaned in to kiss them off her cheeks when they fell, rubbing his thumb against her clit in firm circles.
“Binghe’s doing so well,” he murmured, pressing his mouth to her jaw. He was hardly aware of what he was saying, almost drunk off her pleasure and his own post-nut bliss. “So good for this master, my beautiful Binghe. Just let go, that’s it.”
He pressed his thumb against her clit hard enough that it probably hurt, but that was enough to send her over the edge. Luo Binghe clung to him, her claws pricking his shoulders, and her whole body went tense as she convulsed on his lap. Her moans were more like gasping sobs, like she couldn’t get enough air in her lungs. He worked her through it, only withdrawing once she started making weak, oversensitive whimpers.
He sat back against the pillows and rubbed her back as she came down from her orgasm. It was like every bone in her body had been replaced with jelly, completely limp against him. When he nudged her face towards him, her expression was that of utter contentment. It was so cute that he couldn’t resist kissing her again, this time without any urgency.
“How are you feeling?” he asked quietly when they finally pulled apart.
“Mm, Shizun made me feel so good,” Luo Binghe mumbled, snuggling closer. The squish of her breasts against his chest suddenly reminded him of why they were in this situation in the first place.
“That was probably enough to clear the pollen from your system,” he said, stroking a hand through her hair. “Though it may take a bit to take effect.”
Luo Binghe was still and quiet against him, her face hidden in his neck. Eventually she wiggled even closer, pressing her mouth under his ear. “Shouldn’t we try again?” she murmured, her breath brushing against his earlobe. “Just in case?”
“Wh– Now?!” Shen Qingqiu exclaimed. He knew Luo Binghe had impressive stamina, but he was still just an ordinary man! He couldn’t get it up again that quickly!
“Mm, this wife could go again,” she purred, her hand sliding between them meaningfully.
Shen Qingqiu leapt to his feet, tossing her to the other side of the bed. “I’m going to call for a bath!” he declared, slightly too loud. He scrambled to grab his inner robes, not daring to look back and see the pout on Luo Binghe’s face as he made his quick escape.
That pollen better wear off quickly, or else Shen Qingqiu’s dick won’t survive!