Chapter Text
"You know what? Look, I don't even know what to say to you, but one thing I do know. I think you should start learning to value yourself more, Izuku. And you have to stay more aware of things. After all, if everyone is special, then no one is special."
Those words had been hammering in Izuku's mind for months.
When he first heard them, he couldn't understand what Katsuki meant. Honestly, he didn't consider the explosive man the best of counselors when it came to feelings. But throughout that night, something gradually began to make sense.
At least, that's what he thought at the time.
Amid the conversations, laughter, and jokes shared among the former classmates of Class A, Izuku's eyes kept returning to Uraraka. And it was there, watching her gentle smile, that Katsuki's words gained a new weight, almost suffocating.
... How naive he had been.
Izuku remembered perfectly the exact moment they started dating. It seemed like the right thing to do. They got along well, Uraraka had always been amazing, and he tried his hardest to treat her the best way possible. They went out together, held hands, exchanged kisses... but no matter how hard he tried, something always seemed out of place.
He didn't feel like a man in love. There was no racing heart, no body shivering, nor the famous butterflies in the stomach that he saw in movies or heard friends describe. There was only a deep, warm, and comfortable affection, something that, at the time, he convinced himself was enough.
But it wasn't.
The young hero had everything: a beautiful and caring girlfriend, a stable job as a teacher at U.A., amazing friends, and the fourth place among the most influential heroes in the country. So why did he still feel... incomplete?
What was missing? What was wrong with him?
Why didn't the kisses truly fit?
Why, when they held hands, did he find it all so... strange?
Why didn't he feel that pleasant anxiety just from knowing he would see the person he loved?
Why did the voice that, no matter how hard he tried, the sweet and light voice he heard not seem right?
What was his problem?
He didn't understand. But he also wasn't an idiot. Izuku knew that Uraraka felt the same way, even if she tried everything to make it work. They were just lying to themselves and to everyone around them.
And that was how, after six months, they decided to break up and remain only as friends.
Izuku could still feel the absurd relief that took over him when the conversation finally happened. The sigh they both let out was so big and simultaneous that the two burst into laughter. It was as if they had spent months walking on eggshells, afraid of hurting each other, living a life that simply didn't belong to them.
"— I can't believe we took so long to admit that we simply don't work together — said Uraraka, still laughing through tears of relief."
Izuku couldn't agree more.
After that day, things finally returned to normal. He could breathe fully again. It hadn't been a bad experience, far from it, but he couldn't keep deceiving himself anymore.
However, with the end of the relationship, Katsuki's words returned to haunt him with full force. The phrase "special person" repeated nonstop in his head, like a scratched record.
He wished he could ask again what Kacchan meant by that. But since he started dating Uraraka, they had grown distant. Not in the same way as in middle school, but they no longer saw each other or talked with the same frequency as in the last eight years. They still did patrols together, yes. But it wasn't the same.
Izuku opened the chat with Katsuki for the umpteenth time. The last message was from three weeks ago. He muttered quietly, frustrated with himself.
— Teacher... teacher Midoriya... teacher! — shouted an impatient voice, finally pulling him out of his reverie with a start that almost made him drop his phone.
— Ah! What? Ah? K-Kota? What happened? — he exclaimed, looking at the teenager who seemed torn between tiredness and stress.
— You were murmuring again.
— Ah... sorry about that — he smiled awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck. — What are you doing here? Class is already over.
— The right question would be: what are you still doing here — Kota pointed out. — Didn't you have a meetup with your friends?
Izuku's eyes widened. He quickly looked at the time and panicked when he saw that only thirty minutes remained to reach the agreed location. He jumped up, shoving his things haphazardly into his backpack, promising himself he would organize everything when he got home, something he obviously wouldn't do.
— Ah! Thanks for reminding me, Kota! See you on Monday! — he said goodbye, running out of the classroom and leaving behind a young man already well accustomed to his teacher's absent-minded ways.
As he ran toward the subway, a warm euphoria began to spread through Izuku's chest with every step.
Finally he would see Kacchan again.
A silly smile bloomed on his face just from thinking about talking and spending time with him. He wanted things to go back to the way they were before. He knew he was the main one to blame for the distance, but he wouldn't accept staying away from the blond anymore. Not now that he truly wanted to understand what Kacchan meant.
After a quick stop at the nearest convenience store to buy some drinks, Izuku finally arrived at Kirishima’s house where the small gathering would be held. Awkwardly he tried to fix his tangled mess of untamable curls, but upon realizing it wouldn’t work, he simply decided to ring the doorbell.
As soon as the door was opened, a smiling Kirishima greeted him. The lively sound coming from inside the apartment indicated that most people had already arrived.
— Midobro! So glad you came, I thought you were gonna back out — the redhead greeted him with a side hug, strong and welcoming as always.
— When I was almost here, I remembered I had to bring drinks and had to run back to the shopping center — Izuku explained, lifting the bag with a slightly embarrassed smile.
Kirishima laughed loudly and took the bag.
— Good thing you managed to come. Come in, everyone’s already here — he said, making space for Izuku to pass.
While taking off his shoes in the genkan, Izuku felt his heart pounding hard in his ears.
“If everyone’s already here… that means Kacchan is here too.”
A huge smile spread across his lips as he mentally went over everything he wanted to tell the blond: how his students had progressed in the last few weeks, how he had finally managed to control the new suit perfectly, and, most of all, how much he was dying of missing him.
Missing that rough voice, that sharp gaze, that explosive presence that always managed to throw Izuku off balance. Even if not always in the best way.
As soon as he entered the living room, his eyes quickly scanned the familiar faces. When he didn’t find the pair of scarlet eyes he was searching for the most, a wave of disappointment hit him hard. Still, he kept the smile on his face as Denki approached him with a jump.
“Eijiro must have gotten confused,” he thought, trying to ignore the tightness in his chest.
— Midoriya! Thank goodness you made it, tell that stick-in-the-mud Iida he’s wrong! — Denki exclaimed, pointing dramatically at the former class representative.
— That’s where you’re mistaken. Midoriya will probably agree with me — Iida argued with his usual robotic movements, adjusting his glasses.
Izuku laughed as he was practically dragged to the table, sitting in the empty seat at the end.
— First, I need to know what you’re talking about.
— I just said that heroes should be entitled to three free traffic tickets a year! — Denki defended.
— “FREE”?! — Iida practically stood up from his chair. — That completely defeats the purpose of a ticket!
— But think about it! We save the city like five times a week!
— The Traffic Code doesn’t have a clause for “I saved the city, so I can park in the wrong spot”! — Iida shot back, completely outraged.
— See how stubborn he is? — Denki pointed at Midoriya. — Sero and Shinso agree with me, Shoto and Kirishima are on R2D2’s side. Just missing your opinion, Midobro.
Izuku looked at everyone present, who were anxiously waiting for his answer.
— Well, I don’t have a car, but taking into consideration that traffic violations are truly reprehensible and that tickets serve to keep drivers in line, preventing the increase of car accidents which, by the way, are still many. It wouldn’t be right to give heroes a free pass. That could cause outrage in a part of the population that already thinks heroes have too many privileges, but…
— No need to continue, Midoriya. With that we already know you agree with me — Iida considered himself satisfied.
— But — Izuku continued, raising his hand — there are moments when immediate action from a hero is necessary. If there are no heroes nearby or urgent backup is needed, an off-duty hero might end up parking irregularly in a life-or-death adrenaline situation. It wouldn’t be fair for him to have to pay a ticket for that.
— Wait, wait! Who do you agree with? — Kaminari asked, confused.
— I don’t agree that heroes should have “free” tickets, but I think it’s fair to be able to contest a ticket if it’s improper.
The rest of the group thought for a moment before agreeing.
— That’s a good option — Todoroki admitted with his usual calm.
— As always, you overthought it, Midoriya — Sero laughed, taking a sip of his beer.
Izuku smiled awkwardly and opened a can for himself.
The conversation naturally shifted and everyone went back to laughing while sharing life updates. Shinso talked about his work at the Hero Commission as an infiltration and interrogation specialist. Iida was preparing to take over command of the family agency. Sero was telling about a rescue mission in the Philippines, and Shoto had started Japanese ceramics classes in Takayama.
— Don’t tell me you’re going to learn Chanoyu too? — Kirishima asked, curious.
— Actually, I did think about that, but my mother wanted to teach me herself. We’re starting next month — Shoto said, with his usual calm voice, but with a small smile that betrayed his happiness.
— That’s cute, Sho — Sero said, giving a light shove to the bicolor’s shoulder. — Last Christmas, my mom insisted we go visit my grandma. She put the whole family to work making tamales. The last time I made that much I was about… ten years old. In the end, I left with tamale dough even in my hair.
— Oh right, you said your mom’s side of the family is Latino. Where are they from again? — Shinso asked.
— They’re from Mexico, that’s why I’m so caliente — Sero replied, winking playfully.
While everyone talked animatedly, Izuku listened with a smile on his face, but his mind was far away, stuck on a pair of red eyes and an explosive voice.
“Why isn’t Kacchan here?” he asked himself.
The main reason he had accepted the invitation to that gathering had been the hope of seeing him again. Not that he didn’t miss the other friends — he did, a lot —, but the longing he felt for Katsuki was different. Deeper. More… constant.
It was as if a part of him was incomplete without that presence that was both irritating and comforting at the same time.
— So, Denki. Are you and Jiro finally gonna get together? — Sero asked, changing the direction of the conversation.
— What?! Where did you get that from?
— Nothing much, you always had a crush on her — Sero replied, shrugging.
— I agree. I thought that now that your agencies are next to each other, you two would start a relationship — Iida admitted.
The blond smiled and scratched his head.
— I admit that during adolescence I had some feelings for her, but I don’t have them anymore — he said. Then a mischievous smile spread across his lips, the same one he made when he was about to drop some good gossip. — Besides, I think she’s seeing someone — he said, leaning forward as if to whisper. — I noticed she’s been laughing too much at her phone, stopping all the time to reply to someone. When I asked, she got red and completely defensive.
— Ohhhh, that’s interesting — Sero commented.
— Do you have any guesses who it might be? — Shoto asked.
— Not yet, but I’m thinking of following her one of these days.
— Following a coworker isn’t in good taste — Iida reminded.
— I’m just worried about her safety, what if the guy’s a psychopath?
— It’s very manly to worry about a friend’s safety, just don’t commit any crimes. I don’t want to have to bail you out of jail — Kirishima said, patting Denki on the back.
— And you, Izuku? Why are you so quiet? — Shinso asked, and everyone turned to stare at the green-haired man.
— What?
— It’s true, you’re just sitting there drinking quietly. That’s not really like you — Sero stated.
— Did something happen? Ah! Did you and Uraraka get back together? — the redhead asked.
— What?! No! — he laughed nervously. — She’s an amazing woman yes, but we discovered that as boyfriends, we’re great friends.
A smile appeared on everyone’s faces.
— Don’t take it the wrong way. You guys were a cute couple and all, but I still think you lasted too long — Shinso commented.
— Shinso! — Iida reprimanded.
— What? Everyone thought the same.
Izuku started laughing hard, drawing attention to himself. They weren’t expecting that reaction.
— You okay, Midobro? Having an attack? — Kirishima asked, worried, but finding his friend’s state amusing.
— It’s not that, don’t worry. It’s just that… you guys aren’t the first to think that. Actually, even my mom told me that. In a way… I think Ochako and I always knew our relationship wasn’t going to go anywhere.
— So it’s official. Our hero is back on the market — Sero raised his beer can in the air like a toast.
In that moment, Izuku noticed a perfect opening to bring up something that had been stuck in his throat for over an hour.
— Speaking of heroes… — he began, gripping the fourth beer can of the night tighter. — Do you guys have any news about Kacchan?
And then, as if they had just noticed the absence, everyone started questioning why Katsuki wasn’t there. Shinso let out a quiet comment: “So that’s why everything felt calmer today.”
Kirishima shifted uncomfortably in his seat and cleared his throat, drawing attention to himself.
— Actually… I didn’t invite Bakubro on purpose — he admitted. More than one brow furrowed in disbelief. — It’s nothing like what you’re thinking! I did it because… I’m worried about him.
— What do you mean? — Sero asked, adopting a more serious posture.
Kirishima licked his lips, searching for the right words. Izuku, on the other hand, felt a sudden fear tighten his chest.
“Did something happen to Kacchan?”
— Katsuki made me co-owner of his agency — the news hit like a bomb.
The silence was brief, soon replaced by exaggerated reactions.
— What? — Shinso asked, incredulous.
— Impossible! — Iida exclaimed.
— That doesn’t make sense — Shoto said, staring at the table as if it could give him answers.
— You don’t need glasses or something, bro? — Sero inquired.
— Did you read the contract right? Are you sure it wasn’t a pact with the devil? — Kaminari questioned, goosebumps.
— I’m serious! He threw the contract in my face and said: “Sign this shit here.” When I asked why, he said it was just a “formality.”
— Kacchan doing that? — Izuku murmured, almost detached from the conversation around him.
He knew Katsuki well enough to know that the blond would never share his glory, his agency, his achievement with someone “just because.” Something was very, very wrong with this story.
— Have you noticed anything different about Kacchan lately? — Izuku asked, desperately needing more information.
— Now that you ask… He’s been visiting his parents more. Most lunch times he spends there. Just this week he went there three times — Kirishima said.
— Wow… that scares me more than the pact — Denki commented. — But thinking about it better… the other day I called him to help me with the agency move and get this, he showed up!
— I invited him to eat after a patrol. I was waiting for the “no,” but he just started walking toward the restaurant. When he noticed I was standing still, he asked if my engine had seized because I was moving too slow — Iida recounted.
— Every Wednesday we play Go — Shoto said.
— We did five missions together and after all of them, we ordered Chinese food at my apartment. He slept there — Shinso completed.
— That’s nothing! He went to the festival at my mom’s restaurant and entered the contest for who eats the most chili. The bastard beat my undefeated uncle. To this day the old man is waiting for a rematch — Sero laughed.
Izuku immediately felt excluded. Everyone had something to share about Katsuki. Everyone seemed to see him with some frequency, had strange routines and recent moments with him. Everyone except him.
Until six months ago, it wasn’t like this.
Before he started dating Uraraka, they went out to eat together, visited museums and went to the movies. Kacchan participated in his classes, they practiced climbing and went camping. They frequented each other’s houses just to play or chat. Katsuki even helped him grade tests or plan school outings.
And now here he was, in complete silence, listening to the others talk about the blond as if it were something natural. Izuku knew the blame was his. He had started distancing himself thinking it was the right thing, that this way he’d have more time for Uraraka and less time to think about… impossible possibilities.
But even knowing that, he couldn’t stop the envy from boiling inside his chest, hot and bitter.
So loud were his thoughts that he barely noticed he had finished drinking two more cans in a row.
— All of this is weird — Kirishima said, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms. — But the weirdest thing is that lately he’s been disappearing out of nowhere, takes longer to reply and when he does, says he’s busy.
Sero let out a low whistle.
— What do you think, Midobro? Any guesses about what might be going on with Kacchan? — Denki asked.
Izuku, already with a few more beers in him and his chest tight with jealousy and longing, casually let out:
— Kacchan must be busy… Maybe he got a girlfriend.
The silence that fell over the room was deafening. All eyes turned to him.
— Wait… you don’t know? — Kirishima questioned.
Izuku furrowed his brow.
— What don’t I know?
Kaminari opened a huge smile as he stood up.
— MY GOD! YOU DON’T KNOW!
In that moment, Izuku felt an ugly heat spread through his neck and rise up to his face. And it was very far from being just embarrassment.
— Don’t know what? Stop looking at me like that!
— Wait, wait. We have to enjoy this rare moment, where we know more about Kacchan than Midobro.
Izuku felt like at any moment he would bite his tongue and drown in his own blood. He didn’t know if it was because he was completely adrift on any subject related to Kacchan, or because Denki insisted on using the nickname he had given Katsuki.
— Could someone who isn’t completely drunk explain to me, please? — he asked impatiently.
— Izuku… Katsuki is openly gay — Shoto said, direct as always.
Izuku immediately felt as if all the alcohol in his body had evaporated in an instant. His heart gave a violent leap in his chest.
— WHAT?!
Kirishima scratched the back of his neck, awkward.
— Dude, it was the biggest gossip in the hero world for over a week. There was even a press conference. Mineta threw a party to celebrate that one of the most handsome heroes “played for the other team.”
— I always knew. It was fucking obvious — Shinso stated, calmly eating a slice of pizza.
— Hold on… Here’s the video of the press conference — Sero handed the phone to a Midoriya who was still trying to process.
In the video was Katsuki, dressed in his hero costume, with his typical haughty attitude and unfriendly face in front of the microphones:
“— As has already been clarified, the man in the photo who was with me is my cousin. So you’d better leave him alone. If I find out anyone is following him, I’ll blow the bastard’s face off — he threatened and in the background of the video you could see his publicity team almost dying from his speech. Then, with a sharp smile on his face, Katsuki leaned forward holding the small microphone —. And just to finish, even though it’s none of you bastards’ damn business, but since you won’t stop busting my balls… Yes, I like men. Happy now, you bunch of parasites? Next question.”
Izuku was in absolute shock, processing every word.
He felt his throat dry and immediately looked at the date of the conference, and then he knew exactly why he hadn’t paid proper attention to that news.
The night before Uraraka and he had tried to take their relationship to a more “intimate” stage right on his birthday, but nothing went as planned. And that problem took over his mind for a good while.
And now thinking better, he vaguely remembered his students being excited about something, so that was it.
His mind was working a mile a minute. His distancing, the relationship with Uraraka, the excessive focus on the relationship… while Kacchan came out publicly and dealt with everything alone.
Soon his thoughts were invaded by a thought that left a bitter taste in his mouth.
“So there’s the possibility that Kacchan is in a relationship.”
But not like he imagined.
Not with some random woman like he had preferred. No, now he had to endure the image of a strange man next to Kacchan, saying things Izuku would never dare say out loud, touching places he would never allow himself to imagine touching, occupying a space that, deep down…
Izuku handed the phone back to Sero with a forced smile on his face, before the impulse to throw the device out the window took over him.
— Wow, I… I really wasn’t expecting that.
— I was. It was obvious — Shinso commented.
Denki let out a sincere laugh.
— Actually, we thought you two were gonna end up together — he admitted, looking at Deku. — When you started dating Uraraka, we got confused as hell.
Izuku stayed in complete silence, his chest tight.
— But Bakubro is too much. He just went there and said it, so manly — Kirishima commented.
— … Kacchan is amazing — Izuku agreed with a small and weak smile on his face.
— And that’s why I wanted you to talk to him, Midoriya — Kirishima said, staring at him seriously.
— M-me? Wouldn’t it be better if it was you? — in that moment he didn’t consider himself the best person for this task.
Kirishima shook his head.
— No, I already tried. He won’t tell me anything — he clenched his fists. — That’s why I hope you can. You two always had… that thing of yours.
— That thing of ours? — Izuku asked, raising an eyebrow.
— Yeah, that thing that makes it seem like you two share the same brain and know everything about each other.
— Kirishima is right. If anyone can get Bakugo to spill, it’s you — Hitoshi agreed.
— Exactly, Midoriya can be quite persuasive when he wants — Iida said.
Izuku stayed silent for a few moments, the whirlwind of emotions still spinning inside him and then nodded.
— Alright, I’ll talk to him.
For Izuku, arriving at Katsuki’s house was something he could do with his eyes closed, completely on automatic. The clock marked six in the evening and the autumn sky was completely dark, painted in a deep blue that swallowed the last lights of the day. The cool breeze carried the smell of moisture, leaves and earth, allowing the hero’s mind to wander through all the thoughts he tried, in vain, to organize.
Luckily, the day that followed the meeting with his friends had coincided with Katsuki’s day off, privileged information that Kirishima had passed on to him with a knowing little smile. And now there he was, standing in front of that familiar street, with his heart hammering against his ribs.
His hands were sweating so much that the bags of food threatened to slip between his fingers. He had dedicated an almost ridiculous amount of care to his own appearance that night: a long bath, where he stayed under the hot water for far too long trying to calm his nerves; he chose a more casual outfit, something less “nerd” than usual; he tried to tame the rebellious green curls with a little more effort; and, finally, he put on the cologne that he vaguely remembered Katsuki having called “bearable” years ago.
“Why am I doing all this?”
The question echoed inside him like a constant disturbance.
We’re friends, aren’t we? I just came to talk, to spend some time together like we always do. So why... why do I want so badly to make a good impression?
“It must be because of the time we spent apart” , he thought.
When he arrived in front of the house, he set the dilemma aside upon seeing Katsuki’s car parked outside. A warm feeling flooded his chest.
Thank God.
He had made the entire trip hoping the blond hadn’t gone out, since he hadn’t warned that he was coming.
In front of the door, his mouth turned into an arid desert. His heart was beating so hard it seemed to want to escape. Gathering all the courage he possessed, Izuku stretched out his finger and pressed the doorbell.
It didn’t take long for heavy footsteps to sound from the other side, accompanied by impatient and familiar grumbles that made a nervous smile appear at the corner of his lips.
When the door finally opened, Izuku was able, at last, to feel what it was like to be able to breathe again.