Chapter Text
Peter Parker was a liar.
Tony had accepted this fact after the fourteenth invented story of how he got his powers – from human experimentation, radioactive spider bite (what, like a werewolf?), to “born this way” sung to the tune of some radio song – Peter had gasped in offense when Tony called it that – which had made Tonys eyes roll to the back of his skull.
It was mostly harmless if not a bit amusing, and was almost starting to turn into a game: how far could Peter drag himself into a rabbit hole of stories while trying to either keep them connected or pretend that the other versions of the actual event never happened. Tony figured it was just Peters way of nicely telling Tony ‘none of his business’ with a few extravagant white lies.
Plus, this arrangement suited Tony fine. He couldn’t say he was the ‘sappy’ type, in fact the idea of having to delve one’s emotions made him sick to the back of his teeth. There was of course the far and few in-between outliers who Tony Stark would call with his troubles (extending from ‘arm gone’ to ‘coffee pods are missing’ both of which are treated with the same level of seriousness) but the kid? As Tony had awkwardly muttered to him after what was the worlds worst trip to Germany: ‘Just not there yet.’
Tony fiddled with a spanner, twisting it between his fingers watching the vein in his wrist move with the flexed muscles in his hand. He’d been told once that there was a famous muscle in the art world along the arm. Featured in a Michaelangelo sculpture, and that the acute detail in his statue had extended even down to the visible contraction in the extensor digiti minimi muscle. Boooooring. Imagine spending that long staring at the same hunk of marble?
He glanced up to the hologram of a red and blue mask. Mark 13? He’d run through a few test trials so far, none with Peter of course. Tony wasn’t huge on his reactions to anything mildly exciting. He’d either jump and go up and down like a puppy with a treat above his head and try hug him again God forbid, or start blubbering about how he doesn’t deserve the honor of a Stark Suit and yaddah yaddah responsibility little guy blah blah.
Either way it hurt to look at, like staring into the sun. He feared the world would take someone whose base expressions were so open on their sleeve and chew them right up. That’s why he added taser webs.
Tony frowned, he’d get Happy to drop the suit off. Plus, then he wouldn’t have to listen to whatever anecdote fantasy Peter had come up with on the spot about what the last 8 patrols around the same block of streets had been like and why his GPS tracker kept ‘falling off’ (not that Tony checked, it was just on the notes of pop-ups about the suit, again. Tony stressed with gritted teeth, not that he checked it.)
It was times like this that he was grateful for the distraction of an alert system, less so to see it pertained to the very spider in mention. A headline by some foul looking fellow with a broomstick mustache talking about a ‘Spider-Menace fighting Mutated Zoo Animals’ and some declaration of wanting to sue him for animal abuse. Which would of course require Peters identity to be revealed and more compelling evidence than what was being shown on screen. Of which Tony was watching Peter try and gently scoop up rabbits that seemed to mitosis-style multiply every time he picked one up, standing now whipping around in a sea of fur obviously confused at what a potential next move could be.
Oh well. Better than chipping away at marble.
-
By the time he arrived the winter sun had begun to set, casting an eery flickering light over the city of Queens as streetlights breathed a husky yellow glow into the city. Tony didn’t mind, he was more looking forwards to the prospect of entertainment and having been driven to the gate by one extremely joyful looking Mr Happiness Hogan.
“You know you can fly”
“and you think herding a petting zoo requires a gauntlet of armor?”
“Well if you’re not here to help what did you drag me out here for at 5pm? It’s winter Tony. I’m cold”
“Big penguin.” Tony pointed to Peter who had. With no need for further description. A big penguin.
“So, what. Were just going to watch him struggle? I could do that from home” Happy guffawed looking unimpressed.
“Lordy your miserable, why do I keep you again? Got a lighter at all times or something?”
“Because nobody else would babysit you and drive you to Queens at 5pm on a Wednesday.”
Tony was about to respond, he got as far as opening his mouth which was always a good sign before the penguin did the same thing – and with the loudest partially disturbing squawk-honk combo he had ever heard, promptly started blowing fire out of its beak.
“Oh sweet Jesus.” Tony barked a laugh, extending out his hand to summon his armor which crawled out from his fingertips (anyone who would claim he stole the idea from Thor would seem to genuinely offend him) watching Spider-Man try an aim the penguin flame thrower into the sky making an equally as disturbing noise of fright.
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Peter knew he was many things.
Helpful? He tried his best!
Smart? Well he didn’t wanna get a big head about it…
A superhero? Sure hope so!
A liar? Well maybe, but it was usually for good reason-
A penguin wrangler? Not so much.
Really, he should update his resume… Midtown Tech was starting to suggest things like ‘internships’ and ‘summer-jobs’ through the science programne and to the surprise of exactly nobody, his paperwork proving he had some semblance of an internship already was buried under a pile dating back 4 months in Tony Starks untouched office.
Which was fine – Mr Stark obviously busy being Ironman and all which really was great except for the fact Flash kept calling his internship fake and Mr Harrison has sorta given up defending him and-
Okay penguin at hand. Maybe ring that Mr Hogans voicemail and ask him to ask Mr Stark to sign the approval papers later. Yeah that would work, this time for sure!
Peter was pretty sure it was magic, he hadn’t so much seen the actual magic as much as had been dealing with the effect for a good hour now, leaping in between walls of constant multiplying rabbits and trying to convince a bison that could fly that the nice yummy grass in its enclosure was where the real party was, he had at first foolishly hoped the magic of the adélie penguin was just that it had now grown approximately to the size of a large human being. Now as he bent backwards trying to avoid torching the awning of the Queens Zoo café as the penguin trilled noisily Peter understood that such dreams were shortly washed away, much like his own personal dignity at seeing an almost – giggly?? – Tony Stark stomping over through the snow on the ground left over by an adorable looking deer thing (a pudu he would learn later looking through the Zoo Website) that had zig-zagged ice and snow everywhere it stepped.
“Mr Stark!”
Peter wheezed out from beneath the penguin, whose flame squawk was finally starting to tamper out as sparks and ash dribbled out onto Peters hands.
Peter yelped, dropping it and shaking his hand sorely and limply reaching out to where the bird was already running off to. Dropping his head with a groan before looking back up.
Tony laughed at him. Like actually just laughed before firing off a single iron glove to in front of the panicked bird, sending it careening back towards the zoo before it escaped down the street.
Peter was glad the mask was red. “Uh Mr Stark- What are you doing here?” He said awkwardly, no way of talking himself out of his situation. “I got this covered really-“ Peter started, waving his hands to try get rid of his mentor as if Tony was some sort of mirage.
“-Do you think Michaelangelo got bored?” Tony interrupted him. “Not important, what do you know about art-“ “-Well actually I-“
“Anyway, magic penguin beat you, well assumed magic. Either you’ve got some freaky animals here in Queens or something else has happened yeah?”
Peter blinked, “uh. Yeah, magic probably. I was hearing some reports about a strange... Sorcerer witch lady or something but honestly just assumed it was a joke.” Peter rambled, a truth though now he wished he made it sound cooler, say he had been hunting her down for weeks and she had bested him only now while fighting a giant chimera lion or something -
Aw but Mr Stark had already seen the penguin, and probably the rabbits too…
“Got some ‘reports?’ What you and all the other bug themed heroes?” Tony asked with a smirk, Peter rolled his eyes keeping his voice light “I’m an arachnid actually, and yes, me and Mr Lang are plotting a coup to take over Avengers Tower.”
Tony narrowed his eyes. Peter remembered now that Mr Stark was not a fan of Mr Lang post crawling into his helmet and mangling up the wires.
“Joking?”
Peter laughed and swung upwards, wanting a nice aerial view and perching on a streetlamp.
He liked joking with Mr Stark. He preferred bantering, smile smile smile.
Better than going home and dealing with the dreaded emptiness of home.
Back to home where he’d turn on the lights, stare the piling cartons of take-out in the sink before ordering more anyway.
Back to the house where May was dead.
Peter didn’t want to think about that.
He most certainly didn’t want to tell Mr Stark about it.
So he never did, May was always at work, busy helping kids in the neonate unit or out running errands. Everywhere that Peter wasn’t. At least the last part was true, but no. She was buried in a nice plot next to Ben where she had been for the past 3 months. Where she’d been since Peter in all of his superhero glory and catchphrases had swung a block away and come back to see his apartment building lit up in the blue and red glow of cop cars.
Where she’d been since Peter failed to protect the one person who mattered the most.
All for the sake of a few pieces of jewellery and Peters DVD player stashed in an alleyway when the tweaked-out housebreaker had tried to get away. Peter hadn’t even been the one to catch him, instead spending the night hyperventilating in the back of an ambulance with a shock blanket around his shoulders and a superhero suit stuffed in the bottom of his backpack. He’d pushed her, he’d pushed her and she fell ‘wrong’ they said. She hadn’t suffered, just one second there and the next gone at the same moment the neighbours called the police for the sound of glass shattering.
He’d never found comfort in that.
He didn’t know if it was meant to be comforting or if it was just something he was supposed to be told. Lots of rules when people die.
Yet somehow in the middle of it all Peter realised he had been completely forgotten. No CPS or foster homes or more than a ‘I’m so sorry’ at the hospital before he got up and walked out, spending the night at Neds to avoid having to stare at the counter that May had ‘fallen wrong’ into.
He called that Parker luck.
Peter also made both himself and Ned (and MJ who supposedly recognised the apartment building from the news- Peter never tell her where he lived) swear that as far as anyone was concerned, nothing had changed. It’s not like Peter would ever want to cause trouble at a foster home, he’d love to have been agreeable, really! But… sneaking out at night to swing around the city wasn’t exactly ‘living with people you don’t know’ material.
So, nobody got to know. It was his, his closest companion (plus the girl in his robotics class, she seemed nice though), and the flowers on Mays grave secret.
They couldn’t take Spider-Man from him. He couldn’t lose both.
A lizard with a pigeons head scuttled past him.
“That’s not right” Peter clicked his tongue distastefully at the sight, standing up and tilting his head. Exactly 20 seconds had passed. He was getting better at not being trapped in his head so much.
“So Mr Stark, not that I mind the uhh... Help. obviously but why are you here?”
Peter asked, grabbing the lizard as he swung back down onto floor level.
“Strolling around the neighbourhood. Saw a giraffe or something and figured I’d check it out”
“Queens Zoo doesn’t have a giraffe?”
“Well, must have been a strange looking donkey”
Peter accepted that, there was probably a donkey somewhere. He figured it was – like most things that existed within the gravitational orbit of Tony Starks attention span, boredom. Apart from the occasional magic witch there really wasn’t a lot of global Avengers level threats, especially not since the Avengers kinda stopped being the Avengers either. But he’d been specifically instructed by Happy not to ask about the ‘A word’ and Peter was great at tiptoeing that line with precision.
“Well I think its handled, I got all the big guys back in some cages till it wears off” Peter decided to be hopeful on the ‘when’ part of the fading spell. Standing hand on hip proud of his duty, pigeon-lizard still in hand. Pizard? He saw the zookeepers gently tempting the penguin back into a box, outside of the initial ensuing panic and disproportionate powers, it’s not like the animals were any less tempted by food and grazing peacefully then they had been before.
Tony looked disappointed which made Peters stomach sink. What had he done wrong?
“Right, well back to my statues then” Tony grumbled turning his back, Happy looked vindicated for something Peter didn’t understand. He held out the pizard for answers as he returned him safely back into an exasperated looking womans arms before swinging back up to his perch near the awning. Wiping feathers off the suit and frowning underneath.
He could see from here Tony and Happy driving off, avoiding the fritz-mania of people clambering to look as the cursed animals were loaded back away and snow was being cleared up. The duty was done by all means, and really the sun was starting to set so Peter may as well call it a night. But… Going home?
With a quiet thwip, Peter swung out over the city. His backpack was nestled safely in-between the wall and a dumpster near Midtown Tech, having made it a habit to go out right after school and slinging it over his shoulder. Peter paused, standing on the wall of a building completely sideways and staring towards where his apartment was. Then back towards the darkening city. Where horns of the last traffic rush of the day blared and the connection road that took anyone traveling from Queens to Manhattan.
Anything was better than the apartment.
Peter swung between the roads, eyeballing a familiar shiny black car and trying to get as low as possible without causing a traffic accident and landing with a quiet thump onto the top of it. Knocking once on the sunroof... Then twice just in case the first one hadn’t been obvious.
It opened at once, like a secret room Peter thought giddily, his glee only diminished by the fact Happy was yelling quite loudly about wanting to make the roof electrified.
Peter watched from the spot he was stuck to as Tony manually wheeled up a screen between him and Happy, before turning to look up at Peter through his sunglasses.
“You’re on my car” he spoke matter of fact. Peter nodded enthusiastically.
“If you dented it, I’m billing you for it, get ready to work picking berries or spider on commission.”
Peter lifted a hand, checking to make sure there was no Spider-man hand imprint and wobbling slightly, missing the way Tony lurched forwards as he did.
“Car is okay, I wanted to talk to you about the magic lady?” Peter asked shrugging his shoulders up awkwardly.
Tony considered this for a second and shrugged, patting the seat next to him once and shuffling sideways. Peter slipped in through the sunroof and pretended he couldn’t hear Happy cursing.
“You smell like a wet dog.” Tony observed crinkling his nose. Peter cringed, “well... I was just in a zoo.” he mumbled as he pulled the mask off over his head and shook his head a few times to try and get rid of the mask-hair.
“Okay c’mon out with it, you can’t land on a mans car and climb in through the sunroof without something of worth here” Tony said crossing his arms with that same hint of a smile that made Peter figure he wasn’t really annoyed.
“Right- Yes. Okay. So, I had some reports of this woman running around, it started off as just sounding like some crap from Times Square had spilled out to Queens, yknow like a weird mascot or something. But then I saw it too, this real creepy lady- Oh no that’s mean, she wasn’t creepy. Okay well she was but that’s just cause she was freezing people to take their money, but I guess that’s not making her creepy its just her actions?-“
“Peter.”
“Sorry. But it was creepy!” As if that was what the chiding was for.
“She was doing all sorts of weird stuff anyway, freezing people and using this weird mist stuff to bend the lamp posts around and I started chasing her and she started jumping rooftops. Which isn’t an issue that’s my shtick... Yknow like why try out-jump the guy who can swing around but maybe she doesn’t know who I am. Anyway, she disappeared around the zoo and I lost her, mostly because a bison started to fly at me, which. That may be the scariest thing I’ve ever seen. But I was like” He estimated a few inches with his fingers, “this close. To getting her.”
Tony was squinting at him his mouth slightly agape.
“And this is all…” He paused as if figuring out how to phrase it, “the absolute truth and nothing but the truth?”
Peter blushed, he only waved around the truth when it came to his personal life thanks very much!
“Yes!” Peter insisted furrowing his brows trying to convey his seriousness. As much as one could do after being inconvenienced by multiplying rabbits and smelling like a penguin was possible of anyway.
Tony raised his hands in mercy looking sideways. “Calm the farm” Peter would not miss the animal-themed insults, he hoped something else bad would happen without such loaded potential for teasing. Then felt bad about wishing something else bad would happen.
“Okay so witch lady, well that’s not my forte kid, and to be honest I don’t know if its yours either. I don’t think your aunt will like me very much if you get hit by a spell and turned into a red and blue tarantula. I can get in touch with the right people to figure out which doo-lally magicians escaped the hat.” Tony hummed crossing his arms and kicking his legs up against the back of Happys seat. Peter frowned, he very much didn’t like being told was was ‘too big for his boots’ as Mr Stark had once put it. Allowed to fight Captain America but not chase after witch ladies? Make it make sense!
“She was in Queens” Peter sputtered defending his decision. “Plus it didn’t look like much of it was really hurting anybody, like even the animals it was more just a distraction thing right? I mean whos gonna get hurt from a bunch of rabbits” Peter laughed trying to downplay it frantically.
“So, she was dangerous or she wasn’t?”
Peter opened his mouth to try figure out what level of danger was considered Spider-Man appropriate before shutting it again and clicking his tongue.
“Really Mr Stark I can handle it I just wanted to let you know- Yknow just in case. Mission debriefing, right?” Peter fumbled, swiping dirt off the outside of his mask.
“Alright. Get out of my car now. Yeesh, gonna have to clean the leather. Smells like penguin breath” Tony sighed as the car slowed down and climbed out, Peter whipped his head around. Tugging the mask back on and hesitantly getting out, looking up in awe at the Avengers Tower. It was never any less impressive.
“Have you been here before?” Tony asked looking down at Peter with an eyebrow quirked. Peter paused and shook his head.
He had, but not for a while. It had been a field trip when he was about 8, not that his elementary class was allowed anywhere beyond the lobby and the ‘museum’ which was essentially a shrine to Mr Stark, but it had been enough of an impression that Peters entire childhood bedroom had been redecorated in the theme of Iron-Man, plastic mask and all that May used to say he barely took off.
Tony clapped his hands together, “good! Grand tour incoming. I’m hoping you have some spare clothes in that ratty bag of yours? No offense kid but if were gonna do the whole Spider-Man is an affiliate of mine thing you need to get the zoo smell out first.” He lowered his hand as if to pat him on the shoulder before lifting it back up and sticking his hands in his pockets and walking towards the door whistling.
“Climb to floor eight, I’ll let you in from there, so you don’t scare everyone in the building.” He called pointing upwards before disappearing inside.
Peter slumped forwards as soon as he was alone, catching one final stink eye from Happy who followed Tony inside. He stared up at the quite tall almost condescending building, a twinge of excitement at the premise of being able to actually explore the Avengers Tower.
Peter sighed, jumping in place to energise himself and pushing back the anticipatory fatigue of manually climbing up eight stories before running forwards and leaping up onto the side of the building.
Far better than going home!