Chapter Text
If you were to have asked MJ how she would expect someone with amnesia to get their memories back, she would’ve told you something along the lines of “probably in slow intervals when certain things trigger their memory”. What she wouldn’t have told you, is “in the middle of her graduation afterparty while trying to get drunk”.
So when she’s absentmindedly fiddling with her broken black dahlia necklace while sipping on a beer, reminiscing on her last four years of MIT, and the memories hit her like a freight train, she thinks her reaction is reasonable. Sure, she’s spilt the rest of her beer all over herself in shock and everyone within a ten metre of her is staring at her like she’s a lunatic, and Sure, the next second she’s running out of the party while her boyfriend shouts confusedly after her, but can you really blame her?
MJ leans against a streetlight, gasping for air while her head is in overdrive. Every last, miniscule memory from the last four years comes flooding into her brain, patching up holes and blurry faces with Peter Parker.
Holy Shit. Peter.
The first emotion that MJ feels is anger. How could Peter do this to her? Not come and find her like he promised? Peter had lied to her. How could he have done that? The anger simmers in her gut in an ugly, twisted, way, and she really wishes Peter was right in front of her so she could yell at him.
The second emotion that MJ feels is sadness, laced with concern. She missed Peter, even if her brain couldn’t consciously realize it. That explains the everlasting ache in her heart, and the weird emptiness and brain fog she feels when she thinks about her high school days. Why hadn’t he reached out? Did something happen? Was he hurt?
And that’s how Ned finds her, an equally shell-shocked expression on his face. He’s breathless, like he’s been running, and his eyes are full of tears.
“Peter” He says simply. That’s all that needs to be said.
“Peter.” MJ echos.
And then they’re crying.
When the initial tears have dried, the anger has waned, and an excuse to leave the party early has been created, MJ and Ned immediately get to work. Two train tickets back to New York are booked for the next day (three weeks ahead of schedule), and every news article about Spiderman in the last four years has been organized in one ginormous spreadsheet. It’s a blur and it’s messy and holy fuck when MJ finds Peter Parker she is going to punch the daylights out of him, but plans are made and MJ is able to find a friend from high school who can host her and Ned for three weeks before their actual planned move. It’s a lot of organizing and calculations and leaves MJ no room to feel anything but stressed.
The real emotions hit MJ when she is alone in her room, packing her bag. At first it’s just watery eyes, then a tear, and then she’s pressed against her door sobbing into her hands because no matter how angry she is, above all else, she misses Peter. She misses his laugh, the way he stared at her like she hung the stars, the way that he never failed to make her feel better even when literal monsters were attacking them. She misses the way he held her, like he was ready to fight anything that even thought about hurting her. The ache never really went away, even when the memories did. I’m going to find you. MJ thinks to herself. Just you wait, Peter Parker.
That night, MJ just lies in her bed and remembers all the moments that were stolen away from her. They’re hers again, her memories, and her love, and her life, and she laughs and she cries until she falls asleep.
Asher <3: Hey babe, we’re still on for tonight? [10:26 AM]
The message comes through when MJ is already on the train to New York. Shit. She forgot about Asher. Ned seems to have noticed her troubled expression, because he nudges her shoulder with a questioning look. MJ simply flips her phone screen over to Ned.
“Shit, what are you going to do about Asher?” Ned asks. “He’s a good guy”
“I know,” MJ says grimly. “He’s done nothing wrong and he treats me well, but I just… don’t feel the same way I did with…” she trails off, leaving the end of her sentence unsaid. Ned understands.
MJ: Asher I’m so sorry but I’m going to need to cancel. Something came up so Ned and I are going to New York. [10:30 AM]
Asher <3: New York?! The move isn’t for another three weeks?? [10:31 AM]
MJ: Something happened with one of our high school friends. We used to be really close, so we felt that it was right to go back. We only found out last night and everything was so hectic that it slipped my mind to tell you. Sorry. We’ll be staying with a friend until our apartment is ready. [10:33 AM]
Asher <3: Okay. See you in three weeks. Safe travels! [10:34 AM]
Ned shrugs when she shows him the texts.
“Are you staying with him?”
“I don’t know”
The four hour train ride feels like centuries. Sometimes Ned and MJ sit in silence, sometimes they reminisce on high school memories, this time with no fuzzy edges or blurry faces. MJ pulls up her spreadsheet of articles on Spiderman, spanning from grave injuries to heroic acts. She feels particularly sick after reading a headline about how Spiderman had been shot multiple times while stopping a bank robbery. Too selfless. Always too damn selfless.
“How could he do this to us?” Ned whispers, at a moment where the air feels particularly somber. MJ doesn’t know the answer to that question. She really wishes she did.
When they reach New York, it feels more like home than MJ has ever felt before. Of course, in her four years at MIT, she’s been back to New York plenty of times. Mostly for family reasons, and there’s been some instances where she’s met up with a friend or two from her high school decathlon team. There’s always a piece of New York in her heart, but she’s never yearned for it like she does at this moment.
The next few hours after they reach New York is a blur. MJ and Ned meet Cindy at the terminal, and it’s all smiles and greetings and hugs. Before MJ can really fully process anything, she’s sitting on Cindy’s couch, a hot coffee in her hands, listening to Cindy talk about everything from her own studies to Betty Brant’s promotion at the Daily Bugle. Fondly, MJ remembers their high school decathlon team. After a bunch of disaster field trips and near death experiences, they were a pretty tight knit group, until near the end of Senior Year when they started to drift apart. She still keeps in touch with most of them individually, and is always glad to see them when she returns to New York, since most of them decided to stay local. In retrospect, she realizes that the decathlon team started to grow apart after Peter left the school. What else changed in his absence?
"We should get together, you know” Cindy seems to almost read her mind. “Our high school decathlon team, I mean. I know we’re all grown up now, but don’t you miss them? I see them one on one sometimes but it’s not the same as being all together” She’s staring wistfully at her wall, where a framed picture of the decathlon team hangs. It’s in Washington, D.C, a day before nationals. Everyone is standing together, bright, happy smiles plastered on all of their faces, arms wrapped around each other, and it’s like they haven’t got a care in the world. MJ wishes she could feel like that again. Just once. Happy and carefree and innocent.
“I agree,” Ned says. “It’d be nice to see everyone again”
Cindy frowns, eyes still fixated on the picture.
“Listen, Ned, I’ve been meaning to ask you. What kind of pose are you making in that picture? It’s so unnatural, it’s like you’re putting your arm around someone who doesn’t exist” She says, only half teasingly.
MJ looks more closely at Ned in the picture. Cindy’s right. Ned’s arm is suspended in the arm awkwardly, as if there was supposed to be another person beside him.
Because there was.
“Uh. I don’t know?” Ned responds, voice laced with uncertainty. “I don’t remember what I was doing, to be honest. What an odd pose” He’s trying hard to not sound suspicious, but failing miserably. Luckily, Cindy doesn’t seem to pick up on his tone. She smiles a little, and then excuses herself to the bathroom.
Silently, MJ feels another pang of grief. All these memories, all these experiences that had Peter in them, erased like nothing ever happened. Empty space in photos, gaps in memories, wiped from existence. How lonely of a life must Peter be living?
Ned taps her shoulder and snaps her out of her thoughts.
“How come we’re the only ones who suddenly remember Peter?” He whispers.
MJ really wishes she could answer Ned’s questions.
Ned’s Spidey-Tracker app goes off at 2 AM. If this was a normal day, MJ would’ve probably thrown something at Ned’s face and told him to silence the damn app before she finds a way to delete the code, but because it’s not a normal day she grabs her bag and follows him out of Cindy’s apartment. Ned’s eyes are fixated on his screen, and he excitedly exclaims that the Spiderman spotting was only two blocks from Cindy’s apartment! as he sets off at a brisk pace. MJ feels like she’s following a grown man playing Pokemon Go by the way Ned is swinging his phone like a compass, but she sure does not have his Spiderman fanboy app on her phone, so she really has no choice. She sighs.
Suddenly, a blur of red and blue swings above the two of them, and Ned screams. It’s a feral, animalistic sound, and Spiderman lands on the building across from there and whips his head around frantically, (probably looking for an innocent pedestrian getting mugged or something, if MJ had to guess). His eyes land on the two friends, and he freezes.
"Spiderman!” Ned shouts, waving his arms like a madman, voice thick with emotion. MJ stands next to him, and she can already feel the tears start to prick in her eyes. Spiderman doesn’t move. He opens his mouth, then closes, then opens it again, like he’s trying to decide whether to say something or commit to his cosplay as a fish.
“W-what can I do for you?” He stutters, voice uncertain and cracking midway through his sentence. Spiderman sounds like he’s going to break down in tears, and MJ will not let him. He does not get to be the one who’s sad right now.
“Well, you could start by getting your ass down here and explaining yourself. You have thirty seconds” MJ states in a matter-of-fact tone of voice. And then for good measure, adds,
“Peter Parker.”
Spiderman falls off the roof.