Chapter Text
One-hundred and fifty days. It has been exactly five months since Curly had crashed the Tulpar, and five months since I found out about the pregnancy… I am so tired, but I can barely bring myself to blink anymore, at this point I only eat because the thing in my body demands it.
However, I have come up with a way that fixes all of our problems together.
I peer around the corner as I carefully make my way to the medical bay. There is no sign of the captain which means I have to be quick before anyone else catches onto what I’m about to do. Running on pure adrenaline alone, I shakily reach into the lockbox and snatch what is left of the painkillers, the weight of it makes my heart drop to my stomach.
“Okay.” I swallow hard knowing that there is no return from this, but this was no longer about me. It was over the moment I applied for this position at Pony Express anyway.
There is only one working cryopod left, Swansea told me about a month ago, and we agreed that if anyone was going to get rescued it was going to be Daisuke… I turn to take in the view of the broken scenery for what will be the last time, then, I walk inside locking the door behind me. With a long exhale, I press my back against the metal door clutching the pills to my chest tightly.
“Gghhhn”
A breathy groan from across the room catches my attention, it was Curly; his burnt fleshy body shuffling barely an inch while his jaw stretches agape.
“Curly…”
I could tell he knew what was going on, I just knew he wanted to tell me to reconsider my actions, that there is always going to be another way. But my head shakes.
“It’s okay,” I reassure him; however, I get no response as the room buzzes with static from the vent in the corner.
I pushed myself from the door and settled on the chair beside his bed. I couldn’t bear to look him in the eye, Curly was the reason we were stuck in space to die, he didn’t listen when I begged him for protection.
But, despite everything I held no anger for him… At least… Not anymore.
I fiddle with the lid, “I don’t know why you did it, although, at the end of the day I don’t know you at all… I just wished you were honest to me; I could’ve helped you.” I could hear his dry breaths scratching like sandpaper, it was agonizing to witness him in such a vulnerable state.
Aside from Curly’s breathing and the electrical cracks above us, the door rattles frantically “Anya! Anya! Are you okay there?!”
It was the bright intern himself trying to pry the door open with great desperation. I swallow as a wave of guilt washes over me. I wanted to answer the young man, to tell him that everything was going to be okay, but I just couldn’t.
Soon the rattling stops as Daisuke sprints away from the room, possibly to get help. I just sat there silently as the pill bottle remained in my hand, maybe it was for the best that it ended this way… Pony Express let us go before we even made it to Earth, and with no savings and no backup job to help pay off the degree that I failed miserably, is there truly anything to live for?
That’s without mentioning the fact that I would be carrying an unwanted baby to term and dealing with the consequences after. Maybe, this was Curly’s sick way of saving us, even if it isn’t I did prefer that narrative over any other option.
Time passes painfully slowly, but eventually footsteps make it over to the door. “Anya, I brought Jimmy! We’re here to rescue you, don’t worry! Don’t panic!” Daisuke from the other end sounded completely out of breath. Another voice cuts him off, and my breathing quietens down.
“Hey, I heard the lock’s broken!” It was captain Jimmy; he sounded mildly irritated which greatly contrasted with Daisuke’s panicking.
“Hey! Anya! Can you hear me!?” Jimmy continues.
I lower the bottle slowly and sigh “yeah… I can hear you, Jimmy…” My hair hangs down as I keep my head low. The captain on the other side mutters in agitation almost pacing the floor, his next words were practically inaudible to me.
However, amongst the few cracks and pops of electricity, there were moments where I was able to pick up a few key phrases, “medical stash… in there…this…bad! Did you really…Back into it?!”
I bite my lip, digging and peeling off flakes of dry skin before I stand. The silence that follows becomes deafening to my ears as I quietly pace the room just waiting for anything.
“Anya.” I brought my hands to my chest, clutching onto the pills once more.
“Anya, is the door stuck?” He finally asks, almost identical to a parent asking if their kid stole something. The irony was so sickening I could feel the slight sting in my eyes, and immediately my throat tightens.
I hesitate to let out a shaky exhale, “No..”
Immediately Daisuke interjects “Huh!? What do you mean?!” I shake my head and turn my attention to Curly, who unfortunately had no other choice but to witness it all without having a say in the matter.
Jimmy responds, his voice stern “look, we’re all… Stressed!” I stop pacing and finally turn to the door to see what new excuse he’s going to come up with now. “But you can’t go breaking down at EVERY. LITTLE. HARDSHIP!”
I wipe my eyes and slow my breathing while he slams his fist on the metal.
“Open.The.Damn.Door!”
The sound echoed in the med bay, which terrified me for the most part, but once the sound died down the initial fear faded away, as if I finally felt some sense of peace, of power over my own self. The cards were finally in my hands, and I was no longer going to be Jimmy’s prey.
“You were right.” I shake my head and my shoulders slump. “You were right all along… I should’ve done this from the beginning.” I look at Curly for just a moment, who just chokes out a groan.
I turn back to the door, reaching towards it but hesitate at the last moment, popping open the painkillers instead and tipping a few at a time in my hand carefully counting each pill until it reaches the lethal dosage.
“I always believed that our worst moments didn’t define us… Didn’t make us beyond repair.” When I hear no response, I close my eyes and lean against the office desk shaking my head.
“You think I wanted this?!” I finally speak up, I choke on my words, “make no mistake, this isn’t my worst moment, far from it.” I place the half empty bottle down beside me looking at the bunch sitting orderly in my palm.
“It’s the best one I’ll ever make…” I stand walking towards Curly, now contempt with the choice I have made.
Jimmy slams on the door once more, “open the door!” I finally settle on the floor by Curly’s head.
“I’ll take care of it…”
I take a deep breath shuffling the pills in my palms before downing them in one gulp. The taste was bitter, and without water it was like shoving chunks of gravel down my throat.
But you know what? None of that is going to matter to me anymore, because if I did this right I will die of an Oxycodone overdose and Swansea can do his part and get Daisuke in that cryopod before Jimmy does.
I couldn’t help but chuckle, it might possibly be the medicine taking a hold of me or it could be the imagery of dying of a medical overdose as the crew’s only nurse. The next few moments were a pained blur; I tried to swallow but my mouth was so dry that my tongue felt like razors to my cheek.
I groaned, clutching my stomach, am I sweating? Why is it so cold? The moment my arms moved, I couldn’t breathe… It hurts… It hurts so bad... At this point, the only thing I could even hear was what I can assume to be my heart racing loudly, while the experience was disorienting with vision blurs and nausea like no other, I swear when I bent over, I saw chunks of blood… Or was it all blood…
Time itself was too fast and too slow at once I forgot where I was. Then… Darkness.
I don’t know how much time went by, but it has been dark for longer than I had planned…
However, for a very small moment, and for some reason, there was no longer darkness as I was able to slightly open my eyes.
And I saw something just outside the med bay door. The figure, presumably human by the silhouette, rushes to the med bay.
But just as the stranger makes their way to the threshold. Things go dark once more...