Fling (Me Into the Sea)

by Anonymous

Summary:

It slips out of Sage’s chokehold easily, but struggles more with getting Sage to release its long hair. It seems unwilling to hurt Sage or itself. “Wait! Wait, don’t go!” The creature snaps its head up to glare at Sage, and the growl it sends Sage’s way visibly rumbles its throat. Sage may, as he realizes now, be pushing his luck. Something to consider later. “Are you- Sentient?”

The look of utter disgust and offence the mercookie sends Sage tells him all he needs to know- which is that the mercookie is as sentient as Sugar, at least.

Or: Sage is a researcher who really wants to study the hot reclusive mercookie that saved him after he fell off a boat and into the ocean. What better way to get his attention again than to keep jumping into the ocean? After all, knowledge is worth everything, and this mercookie might know something about the mysteries that Sage has been trying to solve…

If Sage looks back on it, he can admit that getting drunk on a boat isn’t the smartest thing he’s done. On the bright side, it’s also not the dumbest thing he’s done!

 

It was a party on a yacht, of course Sage was drinking. Even if he had tried to abstain, someone had spiked all the non-alcoholic drinks anyways. It was unavoidable that he’d end up drunk, he doesn’t know why everyone is making such a fuss about it. Sure, Sage may have stumbled out onto the deck and taken a tumble over the railing into the open ocean, but he can swim! Not that he did, he was far too intoxicated. Point is, Sage ended up perfectly fine on the shore, and made a very, very interesting new discovery for his troubles!

 

After he’d fallen into the ocean and started sinking with little resistance, it wasn’t long before his brave rescuer emerged from the depths and swam him all the way back to the beach. Through his drunken haze, Sage had caught a close up glimpse of the mysterious creature while being carted back to land. It had a cookie face and torso, though its dough was covered in a fine sheen that Sage theorizes is what keeps it from getting soggy. Its hair was a beautiful gold, and its eyes were a mismatched greyish blue and pale yellow. And, the most interesting feature, it had a large fishtail, covered in scales as dark as a midnight sky and shimmering with gold. Sage hadn’t gotten a very good look at that particular part, being carried against the creature’s chest and all and also very, very drunk, but a glimpse was enough.

 

There’s no doubt about it, there’s merfolk in the waters! Oh, Sage is getting excited at even the prospect of seeing one again! While Cookiekind discovered mercookies hundreds of years ago, there has still been very little research done about the fascinating things. Mostly because, unlike other fish that can be caught and studied on land, merfolk are elusive and hide deep within the waters. Cookies, with their sensitivities to getting wet, are unable to do proper ventures into water without a plethora of gear that makes them very easy to swim away from. Oh, and that’s not even mentioning how hard it can be to find a pod! Merfolk travel often, typically never staying in one spot too long.

 

Which is why it’s imperative that Sage do this tonight. “Sage of Truth, please! You’ve barely recovered from last night’s fall! Your dough is still soft!” Black Sapphire is trying to reason with Sage, but there’s no way Sage is passing up a situation this perfect. If he can find the mercookie again while his head is screwed on tight enough to talk, then this could be the start of some amazing research! Sage tries his best to measure the distance from land by just eyeballing it, then decides that he’s probably close enough to where he was last night. Sage also checks the time, to make sure that the chances of the mercookie appearing again are as close to when it did last time. Who knows if the mercookie only shows around here at night. It may be nocturnal, and use its black scales as camouflage, but who knows? Who knows anything about mercookies?! This is so exciting.

 

Sage makes his way over to the railing of his houseboat again, only briefly stopped by his other assistant, Candy Apple, wrapping her arms tight around his waist. “Please! Please Sage, don’t go!”

 

“Oh, silly cookie! This is a relatively safe expedition! Just remember to set a timer for one minute and if I’m not starting to surface by then, to start worrying!” Sage gives the little cookie a bright smile, but it only makes her burst into tears. Hm. How dramatic! Sage trusts his ability to swim, and his assistant’s abilities to retrieve him.

 

Black Sapphire still hovers hesitantly around Sage, staring at him with a look that makes his distaste for this study very clear. Sage carefully pries the blubbering Candy Apple off his shirt, then happily jaunts all the way to the railing.

 

His cookie instincts briefly freeze him when he looks down at the drop into the dark water. It’s not far, a safe distance, but hitting the cold sea will still send him into brief shock. He’ll probably start flailing instinctively, wasting air on panic until he can get his bearings, but Sage accounted for that! He’ll be just fine at the end of this, if a little soggy. ‘Anything for knowledge’ as he so often says means anything. Sage will be the first cookie to do an extensive study on mercookies, or he’ll crumble trying! Though, he would prefer not to crumble trying.

 

Sage takes one deep breath, closes his eyes for confidence, then grips the railing and hoists his feet up onto it. Gravity does the rest of the work, Sage didn’t go up very safely on purpose, and he tilts over the edge. There’s a brief moment where all he can feel is the wind whipping around him and sending his beautiful hair all over his face, a moment where Sage feels gloriously weightless and safe. Sage always wanted to learn how to fly, like the magic users of old, but it’s been slow researching the forgotten technique of levitation. And it’ll be even slower now that Sage has set his sights on something more tangible! He put Sugar in charge of that research, so Witches knows when it’ll get done.

 

Sage hits the water, and as he predicted, his muscles instantly lock up from the cold and he nearly gasps. Sage squirms where he’s suspended within the water, but calms himself and lets himself sink. Sage definitely wasn’t struggling against the currents when he was drunk and drowning, and the mercookie still found him just fine. It’s an educated guess to say that mercookies must have some sort of advanced vision, at least compared to cookies. Sage, personally, can’t see a darn thing. He can see faint moonlight hitting the surface of the water above him, but it’s just plain darkness everywhere else.

 

…Yes, his lungs are starting to burn. How long has it been? Sage got so caught up in his thoughts that he forgot to count… how long did it take last time? Perhaps it had just been… a coincidence. Maybe he’d somehow, against all odds, managed to fall right in front of a travelling mercookie, and it’s no longer around. Ah, that would be a tad embarrassing…

 

He should probably start swimming now, the first layer of his dough is already starting to form cracks. Perhaps he should’ve crisped himself better before attempting this experiment. Oh well—

 

“Mph!” Sage yelps, though underwater the noise gets lost in bubbles, when large hands suddenly grab onto him by the waist. Not a moment later, he’s being propelled up towards the surface of the water fast, extraordinarily fast.

 

Being caught by a creature one doesn’t understand should probably make Sage afraid, but instead he’s ecstatic. Sage was right, as always! Oh, this is just perfect! Sage latches his arms around the creature’s shoulders, perhaps a bit too hard but it doesn’t say anything so it’s probably fine, and marvels at it. The dough under his fingertips feels—

 

“Gah!” Sage instinctively takes a large gasp of air in once his head breaches the water with a splash. That, of course, interrupts his thoughts, but he’s quick to look down at the creature holding him up in the water.

 

It’s exactly as Sage remembers! With tan dough and long, golden locks. Half cookie, half fish. Its torso is about the size of a plausibly tall cookie, not leviathan sized, but Sage knows logically that that means its tail is likely quite large. There’s also a blue star on the middle of its forehead that Sage hadn’t noticed before. What a strange marking, what purpose does it serve? Or perhaps it’s simply a birthmark? A defect? Oh, that’s right, it’s dough! It smells not of seawater nor fish, but vanilla. And it feels faintly slimy, as though coated in some sort of protective seal—

 

Sage startles when it hisses and glares at him with those pretty mismatched eyes, ones which perfectly match Sage’s, and Sage promptly loosens the death grip he has on its shoulders “Did I hurt you?” Sage asks instinctively because he’s polite, only to be dunked underwater. The ocean rushes fast around Sage. From where he’s held against the creature’s chest, he can look over its shoulder and watch the strong tail that’s likely swimming him back to shore, thanks to the gold glowing between each scale. What a beautiful display of bioluminescence.

 

The creature seems to know that cookies can’t breathe underwater, if it felt the need to save him twice. That, or it’s simply being territorial and sees the whole area as its territory. Though, if that were the case, it would probably be attacking him. It’s a shame that it’s swimming with him submerged in the water, as Sage can’t ask a single question like this! How is he supposed to figure out if mercookies can speak- or at least, if they can understand cookie tongues?

 

The mercookie surfaces Sage a few more times, but only long enough for him to catch his breath. It shows a level of care that reveals a superior intellect, and a level of rudeness too. Seriously, what kind of saviour doesn’t say a single word to the cookie they’re saving- for the second time? Or, wait, what if this creature doesn’t recognize Sage? Oh, so many questions and so little time. Sage can’t just let the mercookie slip out of his grasp again. He’ll apologize later maybe, but for now while they approach the shore, Sage wraps one arm firm around the mercookie’s neck and the other grabs a fistful of its hair near the base of its skull. The whine it releases is audible even with Sage’s head under the water. Interesting, everything is so new and interesting!

 

When the mercookie splashes onto the sand of the beach and drops Sage’s pathetically wet body down, Sage still refuses to let go. Though, that doesn’t stop the mercookie from trying desperately to pull away. It slips out of Sage’s chokehold easily, but struggles more with getting Sage to release its long hair. It seems unwilling to hurt Sage or itself. “Wait! Wait, don’t go!” The creature snaps its head up to glare at Sage, and the growl it sends Sage’s way visibly rumbles its throat. Sage may, as he realizes now, be pushing his luck. Something to consider later. “Are you- Sentient?”

 

The look of utter disgust and offence the mercookie sends Sage tells him all he needs to know- which is that the mercookie is as sentient as Sugar, at least. Still, they don’t speak, only shove at Sage and squirm in the sand with increasing intensity. That’s- actually, that’s a bit concerning, “Are you amphibious?” Sage doesn’t want to suffocate the thing! Just because they appear to have a cookie shaped torso doesn’t automatically mean they have lungs like cookies, after all. They definitely have gills, as the lines of them are visible where their ribs should be. The mercookie just hisses at Sage again, and this time they actually do sink their claws shallowly into the dough of Sage’s hand.

 

“Ouch— hey wait!” Sage had released the mercookie on instinct, and it’s clear that their speed is not limited to water, as they shove themself back into the ocean faster than Sage can even attempt to stop them.

 

Just like that, the experiment is over— but it’s a resounding success! Sage learned so much from this, and he’ll probably be able to infer much more when he organizes his thoughts later. And mercookies are sentient, that opens such a large door of possibilities! Perhaps cookies can learn to communicate with them, or trade with them, or—

 

“Sage!” Sage snaps out of his thoughts at once and whirls his head around. There, he finds that he’s been sat stunned on the beach long enough for his assistants to have docked and rushed over to him. “Oh crumbs, you’re cracking…” Black Sapphire curses as he hauls Sage onto his feet with Candy Apple’s help and starts assessing the damages.

 

“Let me see! Is it bad? Is Sage okay?” Candy Apple bounces on her toes, trying to get a better view of Sage’s bad arm. Indeed, a few faint cracks run through his soggy epidermis, nothing that won’t heal on its own after some time on land and some time around heat. If Sage posts himself up by a heater all night, he should be just fine to go again tomorrow!

 

That is, if he can escape his well-meaning assistants. Black Sapphire is already dragging Sage to Mystic’s house, and Candy Apple refuses to let go of his waist. Sage shouldn’t have let them see the damage… ah, really, he should’ve brought Spice and Sugar instead, they’d have a far easier time tugging Sage around and they’d care far less about him being injured.

 

—

 

Sage, as it usually turns out, is right. His assistants put him on bedrest for the night, which is fine, and the next night, which is not. Merfolk move often, there’s no telling how long Sage will be able to find this mercookie! Sage knows he needs to take advantage of this rare case, for the good of cookiekind. And, admittedly, himself. Hey, Sage is only a cookie, and that mercookie was very beautiful and strong. Is it so wrong to want to see them again?

 

His assistants seem to think so, which is why he sneaks out of his room through the window, nearly crumbles trying to get down from the roof, and runs all the way to the beach on his own in the dead of night. Truly, it could’ve been much safer if they’d just let him repeat last night’s events, but no matter. Sage doesn’t have the time to convince them of anything right now, especially not convince them that he’s perfectly fine to take a dip in the ocean.

 

Sage once again uses his houseboat to sail out, measures the distance to make sure he’s around the same place, checks the clock to make sure it’s the right time… the whole shebang. It worked last time, after all. This time however, Sage also ties a rope to the railing and lets it hang down into the water. He can climb it back up if need be. In fact, he hopes he will need to, because if he can convince the mercookie to put him on the boat then they’ll have much more time together above water. And also he won’t have to sail a second boat out in order to retrieve his own, the way he would if he gets deposited straight back on the beach.

 

It’s much easier to jump into the sea the second time, or third if you count his accidental fall. Sage once again cringes at the sudden burst of cold he gets from falling into the ocean, but this time he panics much less. Maybe Sage’s experiments have also had the side effects of training certain instincts out of him… something to note. Ah, these waters are really dark, aren’t they? It makes sense why a mercookie with black scales would seemingly only appear at night. Not that Sage has tried this during the morning, though he should at some point. Has he sunk deeper than usual? Oh, he also forgot to count again. Perhaps he should start swimming up, just to be cautious…

 

Sage almost does, but of course that’s when two increasingly familiar hands grab him and pull him close to the mercookie’s chest. Sage, once again, clutches at the hair at the base of their head, though it’s a bit harder to get a grip while he’s being propelled straight up in water. The moment Sage’s head breaches the water, he allows himself one gasp before starting to speak breathlessly, “Wait wait wait! P-put me back on the boat, would you? I’ll be just fine over there!”

 

The mer hisses at him, and looks extra grumpy about the tugging on their long hair, “You’ll just jump out again, won’t you?”

 

Oh. Oh oh oh! “You can talk!” The mercookie’s voice is rough, yet airy, and carries a slightly robotic monotone to it. The way they speak is undoubtedly a bit off compared to regular cookies, but they say each word with fluency. Sage feels like a dog with its tail wagging, and his expression must match the simile, as the reclusive mercookie sneers even further. “This is amazing! How did you learn to communicate in cookie language? Or, is it your species’ usual tongue? I have so many questions about merfolk for yo-uph!” Sage chokes and sputters briefly on water as the merman dunks him for just a moment, then comes back up.

 

“Questions…? Is that why you’ve been hurling yourself off boats for the past three days?” The way the mercookie says the questions makes it seem as though they’re more meant to be chastising than genuine. It’s rude, but Sage can work with rude! Sage can definitely work with a rude mercookie, as speaking to a mercookie at all is already unheard of.

 

“Quite so! Which is why, if you wish for me to stop, you’d do well to answer me.” It’s a brilliant plan, on the Sage’s part. This mercookie obviously has enough empathy for it to be effective, too. “First of all, what is your name?”

 

The mercookie stares down at Sage as if he’s disgusting, which makes Sage feel something he should probably look into. Then, they scoff, “You’re… ransoming yourself? How idiotic must you be?” Goodness, this mercookie is pretty. Still, that doesn’t mean they can get away with insults.

 

“Idiotic?!” Sage gasps in shock and horror. “I am many, many things, but I am no idiot! I am a scientist, a researcher, a cookie who will discover all the truths that cookiekind has yet to unearth!” Sage’s brilliant monologue would’ve sounded far more confident if his voice wasn’t quivering. In Sage’s defence, he’s still in the terribly cold water. When the moon looks down upon the Earthbread instead of the sun, everything is always much colder. And he’s cracking again, his legs this time, but that’s inconsequential right now. “I am the brilliant Sage of Truth, thank you very much!”

 

The mercookie scoffs and narrows their eyes. “You can’t possibly think this is a smart decision. What if one night I decide not to save you? What then?”

 

“Then I will crumble!” Sage doesn’t often lie, but… well, if the research demands it, he will. “And you don’t want that to happen.”

 

“What gives you that idea?”

 

“The fact that you’ve saved me three times now. Three’s a pattern!”

 

“…Is that truly enough evidence for you? What kind of sage…”

 

“The best kind- hmph!” The mercookie splashes them both back under the water, starting to quickly drag Sage all the way back to shore once more. Sage kicks and tugs on the mercookie’s hair in protest, but both his arms and his legs are weak from being soggy. What an awful limitation of cookie biology!

 

The same process as last night repeats, with the mercookie swiftly swimming Sage back to the beach with only brief pauses for air. How infuriating! Just when Sage thought they had been getting along!

 

This time, the mercookie is smarter, and holds Sage underwater while they slip their hair from Sage’s grasp. The events of the last few days catches up to Sage, and he’s unable to muster up enough strength to hold on. With little fanfare, Sage gets tossed lightly onto the sand, and the mercookie swims away faster than Sage can even get his bearings.

 

…Witches damn it, he’ll need to retrieve his boat tomorrow.

 

And, well, if he’s already going to be doing that then why not plan to visit the mercookie again? Sage will happily jump into the sea as many times as it takes to answer his questions! Sage smiles to himself and tries to push himself up, but remembers through failure just how soggy and crumbly he is. When Sage looks over the damage, he finds that some of the epidermis on a portion of his left leg has flaked off completely, leaving only the sensitive dermis underneath and a bit of jam. Now it’s a really good thing that Sage is numb from the cold. Still, there’s no way he’s getting on his feet anytime soon.

 

So the question is, does Sage crawl all the way home, making himself a spectacle for all those who see him and putting himself through a fair bit of pain… or does he simply sleep on the beach, wet and in the cold? There’s clearly one right answer, even if it’ll be sure to worry his assistants to death and make him catch a sickness of sorts.

 

Sage has slept in weirder places.

 

——

 

Predictably, Sage is correct once again! Of course he is, he’s the mighty Sage of Truth after all. After his little night camping on the beach, Sage did, in fact, catch a cold. Such a small thing, ordinarily, wouldn’t be enough to stop Sage from doing anything. And it isn’t! Sage’s assistants, on the other hand…

 

“Sage! Sit back down! You’re not well.” Black Sapphire shouts at Sage, who slumps back down in his bed. It was a halfhearted attempt to get up anyways, as Sage’s dough has been terribly weak. His assistants could very easily run him down while he’s in this state, so the chances he has of getting back out on the field are low. It’s not like Sage didn’t expect this sort of reaction, he knew letting his assistants wake up to find him missing and then unconscious on the beach would leave a certain sort of impression.

 

Still, Sage feels really, really restless. Which is funny, considering he’s on bedrest. He’s all bundled up in his bed with a wet towel on his forehead and two adorable assistants bringing him food, he should feel rested. And yet, all Sage wants right now is to jump back into the lovely arms of his reclusive mercookie— oh, he’ll just name them Recluse. There, much easier to think about! They never did give him their real name, so it’s only fair for Sage to nickname them.

 

The day passes quietly, mostly because Sage sleeps for half of it. As the night falls, Sage starts getting… worried. Candy Apple is still posted up in his bedroom, sitting on a chair only a few feet away from his bed. Her eyes are squinted with determination, and she’s sitting up comically straight in an attempt to stay awake. Black Sapphire had entrusted her to look after Sage for the first half of the night, with the promise that he’d guard Sage the latter half. She’s only partway through her shift and she’s already nodding off every now and then. Sage almost feels bad for her.

 

More than anything else though, he needs to get out of here. He’ll just kill two birds with one stone, oh how smart of him! “You know… You don’t need to stay here and guard me.” Sage speaks up quietly, feigning some sort of tiredness even after having slept a lot in preparation for his next excursion.

 

Candy Apple scrunches her nose up at him, “But the last time we left you alone, you ran out of the house and got sick! I can’t let that happen again.” Poor Candy Apple barely suppresses a yawn while she speaks. It’s not a bad thing for the Sage if she’s tired though, tired cookies are more agreeable.

 

Sage settles himself more comfortably on the mattress, looking like the picture perfect patient, sitting nicely in his hospital bed. “Oh come now Candy, you can’t possibly think that I’m able to make it all the way back to the beach like this! Have you seen the state of my legs?” Sage adds a bit of a whine to his voice, as though he’s mourning the temporary loss of his mobility. Candy Apple already seems to be considering Sage’s half truths, “So, how about you go run off and go to bed? It wouldn’t do for one of my best assistants to be tired tomorrow!”

 

“Best… assistants? Do you really mean that?!” Ah, it seems not even exhaustion can stop that high pitched squeal Candy Apple has. “Yes sir! I’ll go to bed right away so I can do super well on my work tomorrow! Thank you Sage!” Ah, Candy Apple! She really is the best assistant! And she must’ve been more tired than even Sage thought, based on the speed she runs off and sluggishness in her body when she does. Sage waits just a moment after she closes the door behind her, then stumbles up to stand on wobbly, cracked legs. He’ll have to show up in his pyjamas tonight, hopefully Recluse won’t mind.

 

After at least shoving on some boots, Sage peers out through his bedroom window and finds, predictably, darkness. But within that darkness, Sage sees a flash of pink, and right on time too. How conveniently odd of her. Sage certainly wont complain, that would take up precious time, time he uses to tug open his bedroom window and carefully climb out onto the roof. Like this, on a slant and unsteady, Sage can’t help but choke down a yelp with every inch he moves closer to the edge of the roof. Recluse better be happy to see Sage, after going through all this trouble! Or at least answer more questions. As much as Sage adores speaking with such a special specimen, he could do without the sneaking around and injury.

 

…How do you kidnap a mercookie? Wait, no, Sage probably shouldn’t. Recluse is sentient enough for that to be unethical. That wouldn’t stop Sage normally, but if he wants to publish his research and have cookies read it then he needs to follow some moral guidelines.

 

“You look… dreadful.” Eternal Sugar calls out from below, and Sage laughs a bit while he carefully grips the edge of the roof and slides his legs down into the air. Sage was never not going to jump off the roof, but making it as short of a fall as he can is just smart. “You’re lucky I owe you. I shouldn’t even be out here so late, I have an early shift tomorrow.” She doesn’t have the decency to even react when Sage drops heavily into the bushes surrounding his house.

 

Sage scoffs and brushes himself off while he stands up shakily once more. He’d angled himself just right to make sure the fall would be as painless as possible, but that just meant it was a bit painful. Still painful. Ow. “Oh cheer up Sugar! All you have to do is read dusty old scrolls in the lab tomorrow, this is true science!” Ah, the thrill of getting into hands on experiments… there’s no better way to understand something than to study it with all five senses. Sage tries to look as put together as possible while he limps over to Sugar’s motorcycle in his pyjamas. It doesn’t work, she still gives him a judgemental stare.

 

“Don’t expect me to do this every night, dear.” Sugar sighs, handing Sage a helmet and putting her own back on. “Do try not to fall off.”

 

“Do not mistake me, Sugar! I’m not some glutton for punishment.” Sage knows how to be safe, thank you very much! You have to know the rules before you break them, right?

 

“If you say so.” Sugar sighs, and once Sage is sat properly on the hot pink motorcycle with his arms around her, she sets off. Here’s hoping his assistants assume it’s anyone but Sugar when they hear the loud engine.

 

The drive down to the ocean is short, but Sugar refuses to drive on sand so they waste a bit more time parking her vehicle and carrying Sage across the beach. While Sage will be able to walk on the hard floors of his boat, sand is a whole different thing. He’s not quite strong enough yet to walk on it for now, he would’ve had to crawl without Sugar’s help. Once they’re on the boat together, Sugar lazily slumps down on whatever seat she finds first and leaves Sage to direct the boat. A good idea on her part, Sage prefers it to be this way. Like clockwork he sails the boat out, measures distance, checks time (he’s a tad late, oh well), and ties a rope to the railing. Sugar, for as much as she acts like she doesn’t care, still cares enough to at least stand on the deck and watch Sage jump into the ocean.

 

Which means she gets to watch as Sage sinks for only a few seconds this time, and is very quickly held back up in the water. Sage smiles widely and grips the familiar mercookie’s shoulders tight, letting his nails dig in just a bit, “Recluse! Were you expecting me today?”

 

The mercookie had looked ready to swim Sage back to shore immediately, at least until they hear the name and raise a brow instead, “Recluse…? What kind of name…”

 

“Well, you could always give me your real one-“

 

“No. It doesn’t matter. Why are you…” Recluse trails off as his eyes slowly drag down Sage’s frame, and then he scoffs with his brows pinched tightly together, “You’re an idiot, jumping into the sea while you’re in a state such as… this.”

 

Sage’s smile quickly turns into a sour frown, “We’ve been over this, Recluse, I’m not an idiot.”

 

“Then I must be easy to fool.” Recluse’s hands shift where they were resting on Sage’s waist, moving higher up to grip the sides of Sage’s ribs. Even underwater, the sensation makes Sage squirm and laugh just a bit. “Do not move… Actually, do not speak either.” Sage was just about to, but for the sake of letting Recluse do whatever he’s doing, Sage bites his words back with nothing but a huff.

 

From beneath the water, a sudden glow catches Sage’s attention- of course it does, it’s dark out here. It’s bright and golden, just like the bioluminescence under Recluse’s scales, but this time it emanates from Recluse’s hands. Sage watches with quiet awe as the glow turns to warmth, which swims through his body like a gentle wave. It starts at Sage’s ribs, under Recluse’s hands, then travels up and down into his shoulders and spine, then his hips and head, then his legs and arms, then his hands and feet… until Sage no longer feels cold inside the water. Recluse has their eyes facing downward, ignoring Sage’s gleaming ones pointedly. The warmth stays for a few moments, and then the glowing subsides and Sage steadily grows colder from the ocean’s water once more.

 

Miraculously, Sage feels… fine. Which is miraculous, because he felt awful just a moment ago! The fuzziness in his head has disappeared completely, and the bone deep ache in his dough has dulled to a soft bruise-like pain. When Sage glances down at his arms, he finds that they’re devoid of any cracks, and when he easily kicks his legs under the surface of the water, he can guess that they’re in much the same state. Sage has heard of this before. Sage has studied this before. A golden light said to mend doughs and cure illnesses. “You can preform healing magic?” Sage can’t help the loud volume that his voice slips out at, nor the way he tries to lean closer to Recluse. Recluse leans back and moves their hands down to Sage’s waist again, but their eyes remain downcast. “This is revolutionary! Such techniques have been lost for over a century!” That, at least, seems to finally startle Recluse’s eyes back up to Sage’s. A complicated expression graces the mercookie’s face, something shocked and maybe even fearful.

 

“What…?” They all but whisper breathlessly. “But how… Lost? Completely?”

 

“Yes! And I must say, I find it intriguing that you seem to care so much.” Why would a being who exists so far away from cookies care about whether or not they can use magic? Although, on second thought, perhaps it’s simply because this mercookie seems to have a lot of empathy. They do keep saving him after all. “Would you be able to teach me? If I can rediscover magic and teach the ancient ways to cookiekind once more, Earthbread will be all the better for it!”

 

Recluse looks back down at the water, eyes full with melancholy and their brows pinched with consideration, “No. I can’t. It’s not a technique that can simply be learned, the aptitude for it is genetic.” Recluse’s voice is somber, and their hands lightly clench and unclench around Sage’s waist. Sage notices the motion as a common nervous tic, only instead of fidgeting with clothes or an object, Recluse is lost enough in thought to squeeze Sage instead. “Cookies on land only gained that aptitude through mating with my species. I am simply… disheartened, to hear that those bloodlines have ended.”

 

Holy what? “Excuse me, interspecies mating? There was a time when cookies and mercookies had relations with one another?” This is… crazy! Sage thought he would simply study the biology and social customs of mercookies, not uncover ancient history lost to time! As far as Sage knows, there has never been any record of something as big as cookies breeding with mercookies. The notion creates a clear picture in Sage’s head, one of an idyllic world when mercookies and cookies coexisted and lived as one. Perhaps that was the secret to the magical success of the five prosperous kingdoms of old.

 

“Was there a specific kingdom involved?” Not much of what passed during the age of the five kingdoms has been rediscovered yet, despite that era seemingly existing for hundreds of years. If there was ever a time cookies and mercookies were close, it would have to be during that large gap of context. “The Cacao kingdom?” That one once stood next to the liquorice sea, and studies have shown that the waters there used to be plenty more merciful. “The Hollyberry kingdom maybe? They were known for trade across the oceans.” Recluse squeezes Sage hard, their face steadily growing more and more- petrified, quite frankly, though Sage doesn’t know why. Sage’s next guess is a shot in the dark, but pieces of that kingdom have been found in the waters, “The Vanilla—“

 

“Enough. Enough of your pointless speaking.” Recluse snaps, their voice taking on a commanding yet whining tone. Recluse dunks Sage underwater briefly, just for as long as it takes them to move over to the rope hung over the edge of Sage’s boat. Recluse holds Sage up, as though presenting Sage the rope. “Leave me. Now.” Sage must’ve upset the Recluse somehow… but how? All he did was mention…

 

“Ah! Hey!” Sage cries out in offence as Recluse gives his body a firm shake, and his hands flail up to grab the rope. “What if I don’t want to go? I’m not done with you yet. If you wish to leave then you can do so after you tell me why you’re upset, and what connection to the lost Vanilla Kingdom you have!” Sage can’t believe it! Based off how emotional the mercookie has gotten, Recluse must have some sort of personal relationship to the late Vanilla kingdom. Recluse seems to be a goldmine of information, just waiting to be dug up and unearthed from the depths of the sea. When Recluse glares up at him once more, Sage stares into those angered eyes with deeper calculation, and sees what he didn’t see before: Wisdom. Despite the mercookie’s youthful features, there is a deep wisdom in their eyes that tells of a well of bottomless knowledge, and something ancient.

 

Sage will uncover the whole truth, he decides, no matter the cost. Recluse growls at him, and sharp black nails curl into Sage’s sides, drawing a wince of pain from Sage, “Go. Now. Either you climb back onto the boat or I drag you to the beach.” Recluse’s voice is firm and nonnegotiable, “I trust you’ll choose the convenient option, for both of us.”

 

Sage scrunches up his nose, but he knows that being any more stubborn just won’t help. Sage isn’t usually one to back down but… well, Sugar is never going to help him again if he leaves her stranded here. Sage returns Recluse’s glare with one of his own determined ones, and scoffs just to make his displeasure clear “Huh. Well geez, fine. Fine! You’re bossy...” Sage gets a firmer grip on the rope with his hands, noting that Recluse still takes care to hold onto Sage for now. “Have a good day then, your majesty.” Sage says the words in clear sarcastic jest, but Recluse releases a monstrous shriek and suddenly dives down, disappearing deep under the water and leaving Sage hanging off the rope.

 

Very rude. And so, so very intriguing. With his arms and legs freshly healed, Sage is strong enough to climb his way back up to the boat. While he does, he ponders everything that just happened. With a memory like Sage’s, nothing is missed. Every twitch of Recluse’s face, every waver of their voice, every smothered tremble, all of it was catalogued the moment Sage saw it. All Recluse’s reactions point to the mercookie having a connection to the fallen Vanilla kingdom, or at the very least, a soft spot for it. But the Vanilla kingdom fell at minimum three hundred years ago- just what is the lifespan of mercookies?

 

“Sage, be a doll and hurry up won’t you, I’m— oh Witches.” Sage glances up to where Sugar is peering over the railing. Only, she’s not staring at him, instead she’s staring down at something in the water. Sage should probably focus on getting onto the boat again before looking down, but how can he not swirl his head around to see what’s earned such a reaction? “She’s…”

 

Sage’s Recluse is long gone, and a mercookie with pink hair now guards Sage as he climbs up. So, not only did Sage upset Recluse so much that the mercookie ran away, Sage upset them so much that they sent a friend to watch him? Like a damn babysitter?! The audacity! “Sage, get up here so I can jump in.” Sugar calls out, and Sage is far more stunned by that response than the shiny new mercookie’s appearance.

 

“What? Sugar, you- there’s no way you just fell in love at first sight or something!” Sage knows that look in Sugar’s eyes. It’s the same one she turned to many of her past lovers, before she scared them all away. Sage also knows that she’s dead serious, and if the mercookie isn’t the heroic type, dead too. With a drawn out groan, Sage starts climbing the rope faster. No sooner does he drop his wet boots onto the deck, does Sugar dive right into the water. Sage glances behind him briefly but upon confirming that the flustered mercookie isn’t planning to drown Sugar, Sage glances away again and focuses on himself. A chill runs through him as the cold night air harshly nips at his skin, his pyjamas certainly doing nothing to shield him from the element.

 

It’s a good thing Sage is the smartest cookie on Earthbread, and always has towels on his boat. Sage leaves for just a moment to grab one out of his room, then remembers Sugar’s… situation, and grabs a second one for her. He carries one of them in his hands and wraps the other around his shoulders on his way back to the deck. In the short time it took Sage to do such a simple task, he finds that Sugar has somehow managed to make herself look so desperate that the pink-haired mercookie is visibly nervous. Sage can’t hear what they’re saying over the ripping ocean waters, but he can look. The mercookie who has Sugar in their arms is tan, tanner than Recluse, with dark pink hair tied into a long bubble braid. When Sage’s gaze travels down, he realizes that the mercookie is just as naked as Recluse, with only one big difference- breasts.

 

So mercookies do follow the typical gender differences of cookies. Sage had an inkling that Recluse is male, but now he can say that for certain. Good to know.

 

Sage is sure Sugar will be hopelessly devoted to flirting with the mercookie for a good long while, until she gets too tired or the mercookie tells her to go away. So, Sage sits down on the deck and watches, just in case his Recluse comes back, or the mercookie displays some sort of behaviour that Sage can catalogue.

 

Hm. Actually, considering what Recluse said about interspecies romance, Sugar’s flirting may not be entirely hopeless. And it’s not even that Sage blames her for trying, the pink mercookie is certainly attractive- not as attractive as Recluse, but still beautiful. If Sage wasn’t more focused on research, he’d probably try wooing his mercookie too.

 

…Maybe Recluse would be more sociable if they got closer. Something to think about when Sage manages to get back on land.

 

Although, when Sage does manage to coax Sugar back to land, he returns home to two very unimpressed assistants. Fortunately, they both become easily impressed when Sage recounts the healing magic he’d been personally given by Recluse. That still doesn’t spare Sage the lecture (getting lectured by his assistants, how infuriating!), but it does get them to agree to letting Sage go out again the next night.

 

—-

 

Sage returns the next night, as is usual by now, and the only unusual thing is just how many people are actually on board with it. And on board his boat.

 

“Sugar, you’re not going to whine about it if the pink one doesn’t show up, right?” Sage sighs as he parks the houseboat, and Sugar sends him a boiling sneer. Distantly, Sage can hear his assistants bickering over who gets to use the camera to try and capture a photo of his Recluse.

 

“She has a name… Sage. Unlike yours.” Sugar utters in her usual slow drawl, but there’s an undeniable edge in her voice and a dangerous pitch to it, “Her name is Holly, and of course I’ll be very upset if she doesn’t show up again! Her and I are destined lovers!”

 

“Uh huh. Does she know that?” Sage knows better than to antagonize Sugar, but does so anyways. What’s a little fun between coworkers, right? Sugar only giggles smoothly at his response, which means that he’s angered her, and shes holding herself back. Thankfully, before she gets the chance to retaliate, Sage saunters over to the edge of the boat, “Now while your little mercookie is sure to not show up, watch with awe as I, the great Sage of Truth, fall straight into the arms of my dear knight in shining scales!” Sage sits on the edge of the railing, seconds away from dramatically tipping backwards and over the edge. He should just dive in like a normal cookie, but he’s a bit too high off the renewed strength in his dough and the excitement of uncovering so much knowledge.

 

“Be careful Sage!” Candy Apple squeals, rushing closer and fretting near the railing. It seems that Black Sapphire won the argument, as Candy Apple has no camera. Such a shame, Candy Apple surely would’ve taken a picture of his graceful fall.

 

Sage hits the water with a splash, and this time he managed to fight back the initial flailing and flinching completely. He’s certainly gotten better at this, as expected of Sage! And he has a plan today. After scaring off Recluse last night, Sage has decided that he needs a new approach. Taking a bit of inspiration from Sugar, Sage has come up with the idea to ask about the less… distressing topics, even though they are the most interesting. Tonight, Sage will ask about the social customs of the mercookies. Specifically, mating rituals and the like.

 

Yes, that’ll surely get Recluse’s attention, keep him from being in a foul enough mood to run away, and maybe if Sage is lucky, lead to a blossoming relationship. Because, well, Recluse would have the guts to tell his secrets to a lover, right? And Sage is single anyways, if he’s going to change that then it only seems right for it to be in the name of scientific progress!

 

…And the mercookie is a bit charming, Sage will admit.

 

Geez, he’s been sinking for a while. The moonlight of the surface has drifted far away. Actually, almost too far away. With how Sage’s lungs are feeling, if he doesn’t start swimming up now then he’ll crumble. Witches, did Sage upset Recluse that much? Would the mercookie seriously let him drown all for the sin of being curious?!

 

Sage starts to move, about to start swimming back up as best he can, when two hands grasp his ribs and swiftly ease all his worries. Then they pull him against- wow that is not Recluse’s chest! Sage doesn’t even need to look to know someone’s other than his usual mercookie has grabbed him. Whoever did is equally as fast as Recluse, and they swim Sage up in a hurry. They almost seem to cut through the water easier than Recluse, and over their shoulder Sage watches a dark tail with white glowing between the scales. It’s longer than Recluse’s. Here’s hoping this new mercookie doesn’t want to eat him.

 

For the first time in a while, Sage needs to gasp for air after breaching the water. It takes about thirty seconds for him to catch his breath, and on instinct he digs his fingers into the shoulders of whatever mercookie saved him.

 

“I… I’m so sorry. I was almost too late.” The mercookie’s voice is gentle, delicate even. It’s hushed like Sugar’s, but far less foreboding. Sage finally blinks his eyes open and takes a proper look at his new- eugh- babysitter. Her dough is a cool toned tan, and her hair is even lighter than Recluse’s, white and tied into a brain that’s draped over her shoulder. There are bits of aquatic plantlife woven into her hair too, something Sage hasn’t seen before. Like the other two mercookies Sage has met, she’s naked, aside from the green seaweed wrapped around her hands from fingertip to elbow.

 

Just how many of them are hanging around here? Perhaps there’s a whole pod of mercookies beneath the waves, so deep into the ocean that no one has discovered them yet. It would be much nicer to meet new mercookies if the reason wasn’t only because his Recluse is upset with him, “Did Recluse send you? Mercookie with the long blond hair? Because if he did could you tell him that I’d much prefer to speak with him instead? Not to insult your rescuing capabilities, but him and I have a certain ‘thing’ going.” This mercookie is… fine. She just lacks all the bite, all the edge, all the delicious drama that came with Recluse. She’s just… sad looking.

 

The mercookie blinks her red eyes down at him curiously, “Recluse…? Did he say that was his name?”

 

“Oh! No, no not at all, but he refused to give me his real one.” Sage pauses. Then smirks and tries to bat his lashes at the mercookie, “Say, you wouldn’t happen to know his name, would you?” She has to, if Recluse trusted her enough to save Sage in his place.

 

“I do, but I don’t want to disrespect him. If he refused to give you his name, then I won’t either.” Oh, boring. “I will give you my name, please, call me Lily.” Hm. She’s already much more… open, than Recluse. Maybe Sage can work with this. Lily starts slowly swimming Sage over to the rope hanging off the boat railing, but Sage quickly waves his hand around to get her attention.

 

“Woah woah! Hold on now, you may not be my Recluse, but I still have questions for you!”

 

“Questions? About what?” Lily tilts her head, and adjusts her grip on Sage so he’s a bit further away, a more comfortable distance for talking face to face.

 

“Why, about mercookiekind, of course!” Sage does a theatrical flourish of his hand, which only succeeds in splashing water on himself. “I desperately want to know more about your species, your society! My hope is that in researching your ways, I’ll be able to cultivate knowledge that can strengthen cookiekind’s understanding of our world.”

 

Sage’s words seem to strike a chord with the mercookie, as her eyes widen before she glances down with a melancholic smile. “I understand. I, too, wished for such things once.” She stares down at the water for a little longer, then back up at Sage, “I’d like to help teach you of the world below the sea, if only you’d tell me what has come of the cookie world above it.”

 

Ohhh! Now Sage can definitely work with this! Always good to meet a likeminded individual. “Then, kind Lily, won’t you tell me of the connection between mercookies and the five fallen kingdoms?”

 

Any confidence that had pooled there suddenly drains from Lily’s face at the mention of the kingdoms. Seriously, why is that such a sensitive topic? Sage is going mad from not knowing! “I… I’m so sorry, truly I am, but…” Lily’s hands shake faintly on Sage’s ribs, and her jaw clenches vaguely, “I do not deserve to tell that story. I do not deserve to tell any of the history of our kind, nor am I strong enough to face that guilt.” Geez, now Sage just wants to know more!

 

“So you’re saying I need to ask someone else?” Sage stays amicable anyways, unwilling to pry. Mostly because he doesn’t have time to dig through emotional stuff right now. “Would Recluse tell me, if we were… close?”

 

“I can’t say, he’s not very forthright anymore. Not very honest when he speaks to anyone.” There’s more sadness in Lily’s eyes as she says it, like she’s blaming herself. In fact, she’s been doing that this whole time! Just what could she possibly have done to feel guilty about everything? Or maybe she’s just that kind of mercookie. “If you ask me about the present, I can tell you that much.”

 

Fine. This is just a small roadblock. Sage always figures out the truth in the end, he doesn’t need to tear it out of someone so unwilling to tell, “Hm… Say, how about you tell me how a cookie would go about courting a mercookie?”

 

“Huh?”

 

“You know! Wooing. Getting together. I believe that there is something between dear Recluse and I!” Well, Sage definitely enjoys Recluse’s company, though there’s no telling how the mercookie feels about him. Lily stares at Sage like he’s spoken an entirely different language, then stares up in consideration and releases a small hum.

 

“Ah… Is that why he’s been thinking of you so much?” Lily ponders out loud, and it makes something spring up inside Sage’s head. It’s like a door opening, or a lightbulb turning on. “I suppose that makes some sense. You want to court him?” Lily moves now, elegantly sliding Sage through the water and over to the rope. Sage, now sure that Lily really is just the most useful mercookie, doesn’t even need much prompting to grab onto the rope himself. “I’ll help you, but first I need to go grab something. Stay right here.” Sage nods, and then she’s diving under the water and disappearing into the darkness of it.

 

Sage waits where he’s told, despite the cold seeping into his dough and the cracks that are no doubt forming on him again. Sage has come too far to be stopped by something like getting soggy. When he glances up, he sees that Sugar has taken to slumping over the edge of the railing in clear dismay, Sapphire is two seconds away from pulling the rope up, and Candy is now holding the camera. When Sage catches her eyes, she smiles widely and gives a big thumbs up. Perfect, that means they have some useable photos! Though, only of the mercookie’s top half. Sage would love to study their tails… just how close does Sage need to be with Recluse to be allowed to touch his tail? Hm…

 

Lily doesn’t appear with a splash, instead she pokes her head up from the water so quietly that Sage doesn’t notice she’s there until she nudges his side. Perhaps she’s an ambush predator then… or, wait, what even are the diets of mercookies? The composition of their faces read omnivore like cookies, but there’s always the possibility that they’re carnivorous, or herbivorous. “Give this to him, it’s customary to offer one to a suitor. If they accept, that’s permission to continue your courting.” Lily hands a beautifully shimmering clam to Sage, one about the size of a pocket mirror. “When you open it, there’s a pair of pearl earrings inside. If- Recluse, if Recluse truly does feel something for you, then he will wear it.”

 

“I see… and the way you tell if a mercookie is single or not is by looking at their ears.”

 

“Exactly.” Sage nods and carefully takes the clam in one hand, then slides it deep in a pocket on his shirt for safekeeping. “Now… What has become of the cookie world? Is the Great Plague still ravaging the lands?”

 

“The great plague?“ Sage has never heard of such a thing- sure, there have been plagues before, but none named the Great Plague.

 

Lily bites her lip before proceeding, her words drifting out carefully and hesitantly, “Yes… The great plague that felled the five kingdoms.” Lily whispers the words as though trying to hide them, and Sage can only barely hear her. But Sage is ever so glad he does, because this newfound detail is- incredible! What a revelation! It’s seems as though every mercookie holds such great knowledge of the history that was left behind in tatters.

 

“We didn’t even know that a plague was what ruined the five kingdoms.” Sage can’t help but feel elated. Just wait until the scientific world finds out about this! Sage- Sage’s head is working so fast that he can’t even think straight. “Tell me more.” Sage demands, and internally cringes at the way his tone slipped into a growl. That almost never works to convince people. And it doesn’t this time, only making Lily shy away from the intensity.

 

“I- I can’t. I’m sorry, it’s not my place.” She sounds like she’s two seconds away from bolting, and Sage gets the bitter realization that he must play nice or risk scaring away a second mercookie with knowledge he wants. Sage is a nice cookie, of course, playing nice is natural, but oh sometimes does he just wish he wasn’t a nice cookie. A very select few things would be made easier if he had the evil in him to threaten others into submission. But, at the end of the day, Sage advanced this far in his career through honesty and benevolence, no need to change now.

 

“Well, what can ya do? I’ll settle with you just telling me what to do if Recluse accepts the little earrings.”

 

Lily glances at Sage with a soft smile, drifting a bit closer to where he still clutches the rope in water, “Shouldn’t you mind your dough?”

 

“Inconsequential! This is far, far more important.”

 

“I’m guessing I can’t convince you otherwise. You remind me of myself, in many ways, though not all.” Lily places herself right next to Sage and gazes down at the water, and Sage can’t help but notice the wistful look in her eyes, “I hope you’ll make him happy. He hasn’t been for a very, very long time.”

 

—-

 

Sage had spoken with Lily until his dough all but screamed at him to stop, which is to say, it started escaping his body and flaking off into the ocean. Sages legs are once again in disrepair, and his biceps fare no better, but he still manages to crawl onto his boat the next night (not literally, he’d never debase himself like that). Armed with his hair tied in a braid and the clam with its pearl earring, Sage is ready to make Recluse fall for him. Sage really did try to appear put together tonight, but he’s sure most of his efforts will be literally washed away by his nightly plunge into the ocean. It’s quite hard to look attractive when you’re sopping wet and crumbling, Sage assumes.

 

Who knows though! Maybe Recluse likes them crumbly, and this’ll be a breeze. Sage hasn’t attempted to seduce anyone in a long while, hopefully he’s not too rusty… not that he was ever truly good at it in the first place. And why should he have to be? His alluring personality, unfathomable intelligence, and impeccable looks are enough! Usually.

 

Hmph. Well Lily did helpfully inform Sage last night that, at the very least, Recluse has been thinking about him. That’s a start. Whether the mercookie is thinking good things about Sage, only himself and the Witches know.

 

As always, Sage measures distance, time, and ties a rope to go over the edge of the boat. This time, however, Sage calls out just before he jumps, “Recluse? Clusie? It would save me a lot of trouble if you just got on the boat yknow?” Sage waits a moment. Nothing. Go figures, there’s no way Recluse could even hear him over the waves, and he’d need especially good hearing to hear Sage from under the water. Oh well. With humiliatingly trembling legs and arms, Sage hauls himself over the edge of the railing and lets himself fall into the ocean. It seems that Sage’s body is accustomed to the water now, only tensing up at the deep, piercing cold. Swimming with cracks in your dough always makes the water feel colder.

 

The misery caused by his freezing state soon fades away, as Recluse wraps his arms around Sage and tugs him back to the surface with little fanfare. It’s not a long trip back up, Recluse didn’t let Sage sink very much, but Sage still creaks his eyes open to watch Recluse’s glowing tail through the darkness of the water. It’s almost as beautiful as Recluse’s face. Almost. Once above water, Sage takes a breath and then smiles wide down at his mercookie, “Wow! That was quick! Ten out of ten, perfect save!” Be charming. Be attractive. Sage wraps his arms around Recluse’s neck, and leans his head on the mercookie’s shoulder, “Thank you very much, my lovely knight in shining scales…”

 

Recluse scrunches up his nose at Sage’s words, and slides his hands up to Sage’s ribs, “What is it that you want from me now?” Warmth slowly spreads throughout Sage’s dough, and when he glances down he can see the gentle glow of Recluse’s fascinating healing magic. And, Recluse isn’t complaining about the touch. How very kind of him!

 

Sage pushes a little bit further, pressing his face in closer to Recluse’s neck. For many species, the neck is a vulnerable spot, and allowing anyone close to it is a sign of trust. Sage is sure that it’s a bit different when the species is sentient enough to know Sage can’t do any real damage like this, but it’s the thought that counts! “Oh, only your time! Though, I won’t complain about having your healing as well.” Unfortunately, the consequence of having his head here is that Sage can’t read Recluse’s expression. He just has to trust that he’s succeeding. “Has anyone ever told you how breathtakingly gorgeous you are?”

 

Sage doesn’t need to be looking at Recluse’s face to know that the comment bothers him, as Sage feels every bit of Recluse’s shoulder tense up. “You…” Recluse grits out the words through a heavy sigh, his hands tightening around Sage’s body. Perhaps Sage has miscalculated… “Why? Why are speaking to me like this? Aren’t you going to badger me for more truths, instead of lying to my face?”

 

“Well I would but— Lying?!” Sage rears back so fast that he feels Recluse nearly scratch into his clothes, and his eyes go painfully wide as he looks at Recluse’s pensive expression, “Excuse you, I do not lie!”

 

“That, in itself, is a lie.”

 

“Well, I certainly don’t lie about my attraction. What good would that do me?”

 

“A lot, if you’re clever enough for that.” Sage is left achingly speechless for a breathless second. That no doubt leaves the impression that he’s hesitating, as Recluse scoffs, “I knew it. If you are attempting to charm me only for the sake of answers to my past, then I ask that you leave me at once.”

 

Oh no, Recluse doesn’t get to escape! At least, not with that nasty assumption stuck in his head, “Ah bup bup!” Sage flails his hands around, splashing water all over the two of them before eventually ending with one finger pressed over Recluse’s lips. Recluse has very nice lips, Sage notes before speaking, “You must be more foolish than I thought if you truly don’t believe that I find you stunning.”

 

Recluse glares down at Sage’s finger in a way that has Sage worrying that he may be about to have it bitten off, but then Recluse simply leans away. “You will get nothing from me.” Ah. Darn it… Time for plan B!

 

Sage was going to lead Recluse into this slowly, really, he was! But perhaps shock value will work better against Recluse, who can’t seem to stop thinking too hard. Sage keeps the finger that had been on Recluse’s lips right where it is, and with his other hand he reaches into his shirt. He’d sewn a pocket onto the inside of it last night, one with a zipper to make it even more secure. Carefully, ever so carefully, Sage pulls the clam out and holds it above the water. The clam must be a distinct casing for earrings of this nature, as the moment Recluse sees it, his eyes widen by fractions and his cheeks go faintly pink. “Well then, Recluse-“

 

“What are you doing? Do you even know… how did you-!”

 

“Oh please let me speak, my dear!” Sage ignores the hiss he gets in response to the pet name, and carries on with his whole spiel, “Recluse, I knew ever since I first glimpsed you that we were fated to be one-“

 

“Are you asking me to begin a relationship or are you proposing right now?” Recluse practically whines, lowering himself until only his eyes and up are exposed above the water all while still holding Sage up. His blond hair drifts softly with the rippling water, sticking to the surface of the sea like strands of gold leaf. Embarrassed and flustered, both reactions that could be equally as prosperous and detrimental. “Truly, if you are lying to me right now, then you are unbelievably cruel. And if you are not lying, then you are a fool of the highest degree.”

 

Sage can’t help but click his tongue and roll his eyes. Seriously, not even Spice interrupts him this much, and that cookie doesn’t ever care to hear what Sage has to say! However, the fact that Recluse has not yet fled nor ushered Sage away is another good sign. With a bit more confidence, Sage clears his throat and answers calmly, “I am no fool, and at the same time I am not a liar. As for what type of proposition this is… I suppose whatever it is that you’ll accept.”

 

Recluse stews there for a moment with a glare so hot Sage is surprised that the very ocean isn’t boiling. It takes a moment of patient waiting with a smile on Sage’s face, but the Recluse eventually lifts the rest of his head back out of the water, if only to frown at Sage properly, “You do not love me, Sage. How could you?” Sage is briefly thrown off his tracks when his name leaves Recluse’s lips with hushed delicacy for the very first time, then smiles all the wider for it.

 

“Oh, but how can you say that? I’ve always been clear with my wish to understand you, what’s more romantic than that?” Sage finally takes the chance to pull open the clam and present the pearl earrings, and Recluse closes his eyes like he can’t bear to see them.

 

“There are many things.”

 

“Name them, then.” Sage knows just by the seconds that Recluse stays quiet that he’d been lying. Recluse didn’t have any clue what could possibly be more romantic than understanding, but now searches desperately for a way to invalidate Sage’s affection.

 

“…Being there to catch someone when they fall.” Recluse starts, his unsure voice remarkably steady, “To care for them even when there is no benefit, even when you are not required to.” Recluse pins Sage down with narrowed eyes as though convinced he’s presenting an argument that could stump the Sage of Truth, “To still hold someone close even when all they do is bring you pain. All of that, and more, is far more romantic than something as fickle as ‘understanding’.”

 

Sage lets Recluse have this for just a moment. He tilts his head up to the night sky and furrows his brow like he’s asking the moon and stars for answers. Like he hadn’t already thought of a retort the second Recluse had finished his first sentence. Sage hums, drawing out the sound for a long moment and closing his eyes. When he opens them again and smiles towards Recluse, there’s a commendable amount of surety resting in Recluse’s eyes. Poor thing! “A fair point, my dear Recluse, though do forgive me if I’m wrong but…” Sage leans in closer and is unable to hide his smirk, “Is that not just what you already do for me?”

 

As close as Sage is, he can hear the quick inhale Recluse does when he realizes the hole he’s just dug himself into. Recluse’s mouth opens once, then closes into a grimace, then opens again at a more hesitant pace. Sage finds it adorable, but still cuts him off before he can spew any nonsense, “So, Recluse,” Sage leans back and brings the clam forwards, “Won’t you accept me?”

 

Recluse gazes down at the earrings, two shiny blue pearls, as though they are cursed objects. But they already both know that Sage has won. Recluse doesn’t say another word, just purses his lips and tucks some of his long, damp hair behind one of his pointed ears.

 

With little fanfare, Recluse plucks one of the stud earrings out of the clam and fastens it to the lobe with some difficulty. He does have to do it with one hand, since he’s holding Sage up. Sage is still congratulating himself internally and, quite frankly, trying not to freak out, when Recluse leans in. Instead of putting the second earring into his own ear, Recluse clumsily shoves the other stud into Sage’s ear. Sage had forgotten he even had his ears pierced, though now he’s quite glad that he did! It would’ve been quite painful and unsanitary to get his ears pierced in the middle of the ocean by an unqualified mercookie. Sage still winces at the dull pain of Recluse pushing the earring through the thin layer of dough that had regenerated in the small hole during Sage’s time wearing no earrings ever.

 

And just like that, Sage is courting a mercookie! How exhilarating! He’s probably the first cookie to do this in… oh, at least a few hundred years. This is a perfectly special honour fit for an exemplary cookie like Sage!

 

“And what now?” Recluse basically growls. Sage is sure he’s simply flustered. “Do you mean to suddenly sweep me off the feet I do not have?“ Sage thinks about that briefly while he puts the clam back into his pocket. Honestly, he hadn’t thought too much about this part, Sage didn’t actually expect this to work. Sage leans in close to the mercookie again, happily resting his head on Recluse’s shoulder once more.

 

“Well, I don’t have many ideas of what to do right now as we are, but I do have plenty of ideas for what we could do on land. Or, on my boat.” Sage can’t help but trail his fingers through some of Recluse’s hair. It feels only slightly different to a regular cookie’s hair, like regular hair coated in a fine layer of… something. Something that most likely keeps it from getting positively soaked. Recluse narrows his eyes at the suggestion.

 

Recluse’s flat voice comes out prickly, with every word holding a level of bite, “Was that your plan all along? To coerce me into an area where you will freely do whatever you wish to me?”

 

“Geez Recluse! You act like I’m sort of mad scientist.” Sage huffs, but as much as he wants to shoot Recluse a glare, he is quite comfortable on Recluse’s shoulder.

 

“You’ve done nothing thus far to prove yourself otherwise.” Recluse’s hands move now. Instead of holding Sage by the waist or ribs, one of his hands posts itself at Sage’s back and the other wraps under his knees. Like this, Recluse can lean forwards over Sage’s body to start swimming off somewhere without shoving him underwater. Interesting. And a bit infuriating. “I understand you want to be out of this dreadful water, so we will move elsewhere.” Sage hums in acknowledgement, curls himself closer to Recluse’s chest, and then tries to sneer at him through tone of voice alone.

 

“I get it, common ground and all… now then, don’t think I didn’t notice that you could’ve been swimming me around like this the whole time. For what reason have you been dragging me around underwater?!”

 

“You talk an insufferable amount.”

 

“And yet, you listen. And, I’ll have you know, you talk almost as much as me!”

 

“If you keep lying, I’ll only doubt you more.”

 

“You mean, you’ll lie to yourself more?”

 

“Hah…” Recluse doesn’t answer. From what Sage can see, which isn’t much through the dark, they’ve slowly swam back towards the shore, but not the beach. Instead, Recluse brings him closer to the cliffs, where the ocean waves lap at rocks and slowly erode them day by day. Recluse speeds up now, drawing nearer to the cliffs, and as they approach Sage sees an opening to an alcove of sorts where sand and water meet below a dome of rocks. It’s not unreachable for cookies, but hardly anyone would ever think to go there, and you’d need to swim or boat an awkward route around the rocks that poke out from under the surface of the sea. Recluse, being half fish and all, navigates around the spikes with ease, which tells of a practiced routine. Recluse must venture here often enough, to have thought of it so fast and made it here so efficiently. How charming of Recluse, to take Sage to his little secret hideout! Or maybe this place is popular with all the other merfolk, Sage isn’t sure. It’s empty now, at least, when Recluse glides through shallow water to pop Sage up on the sand.

 

“Well well! Isn’t this a nice place! Did you put me here because you know I can’t swim out without your help?” Sage prods playfully, and carefully leaves out the fact that he probably could swim out on his own if he wanted. It would be deeply uncomfortable, slightly dangerous, and no doubt zap all the energy Recluse’s healing had given him, but it is indeed possible. Recluse uses his arms to pull himself onto the sand beside Sage before responding, and Sage can’t help but marvel at how the water seems to slide right off of Recluse.

 

“Partly. I figured you’d be more inclined to treat me with respect now that you’d be stranded without me.” Recluse pulls the rest of himself out of the water, and Sage gets his first good look at Recluse’s tail. He already knew the colouring, black scales with gold dough beneath them, but now Sage can measure it. Of course, Sage only has his eyes to do so, but he gets a good approximation. Recluse’s tail is predictably the longest part of his body, from the very first scales on Recluse’s body down to the very tip of his tail fins, Recluse’s tail is around the same length as Sage himself. Recluse’s fins are a beauty themselves. His caudal fins are thin flaps of black, dark blue, and gold which line both sides of the tip of his tail, layered together in a manner similar to a palm tree’s leaves, only thicker. Sage is sure there’s a better comparison, but he’s too taken by Recluse’s bewitchingly elegant anatomy. Recluse has two more sets of smaller fins on each side of his tail, which are exclusively black. Pectoral fins, perhaps? It’s harder to name them when Recluse is only half fish. “I see I was mistaken, thinking that you’d show respect for me. Staring is quite rude.”

 

Sage backs away a bit, he’d moved closer at some point, and swiftly averts his eyes back up to Recluse’s face. That move obviously reminds Sage that Recluse’s face is quite pretty, and staring at it won’t help the embarrassing flush on Sage’s cheeks calm down. Sage ends up staring at the sand beneath Recluse’s long hair instead. “My apologies… didn’t I say that I find you attractive?”

 

“I hardly see how that has anything to do with you staring at me as though you intend to butcher me.”

 

“I wasn’t-!” Sage had only briefly considered what a dissection would yield! So briefly that it’s not even worth measuring how long! It’s a typical scientific curiosity. “…Hmph. Well, I don’t suppose you’ll be telling me your real name anytime soon?” Sage tries pathetically. At the very least, this should switch the subject away from… Sage’s more unethical thoughts. Sage wouldn’t act on them! Not with Recluse, at least. Oh Sage can’t be thinking about this right now…

 

Recluse scoffs, “You already know the answer to that. My name isn’t important- it only brings more harm than good.” Now what does that mean? Sage would ask if Recluse didn’t look one wrong word away from bolting. Even Sage knows his limits. Sometimes. “…In fact, I’d prefer if my name were anything else. Recluse… isn’t a bad title.”

 

“Ooh!” Sage moves a little closer, poking Recluse’s shoulder, “So I do know your real name!”

 

Recluse furrows his brows at Sage’s words and pushes himself up a bit more, consequently leaning into Sage’s hand. And, well, his is Sage suppose to resist splaying his palm over Recluse’s shoulder and collarbone? “What are you saying?”

 

“Recluse! That’s your real name, if you want it to be.” Recluse looks thoroughly stumped by Sage. He sits there with his eyes squinted and his mouth opening and closing like, ironically, a fish. Sage internally pats himself on the back, because rendering Recluse speechless is a very good response to garner compared to scathing retorts or panicked avoidance. Sage basks in the moment and takes the chance to slowly run his fingertips over Recluse’s shoulders and neck. Doing this, he can see if there are any differences in bone structure between the top halves of mercookies and cookies. Plus, he can feel that oddly water resistant dough. Plus plus, this is very indulgent for Sage.

 

Recluse finally ends with a withered huff, and his hand comes up to catch Sage’s wrist. Sage pauses, expecting to have his hand tossed away or worse, but Recluse surprises him by guiding Sage’s fingers down and over to Recluse’s ribs. Recluse hardly acknowledges his own action, but doesn’t complain when Sage scoots a bit close to peer at Recluse’s gills. “You are… odd. I would’ve thought you’d press me endlessly for my real name.”

 

“You’re not very normal yourself, you know?” Sage slowly moves his fingers over Recluse’s chest and sides, and finds that there are predictably very few differences between cookie and mercookie anatomy on Recluse’s top half. At least, from what Sage can feel by pressing against Recluse’s dough. That just makes Sage crave an X-ray of Recluse more, to see just how his tail connects to his body. “So how long can you stay out of water?”

 

“Hm… I think I’ve heard of some of my species lasting for a handful of hours or so. We start cracking after that.” Recluse tilts back by fractions under Sage’s hands, until he’s lying back against the sand and eyeing Sage carefully, “The same way cookies get soggy and crack, if we get too crispy we crack.“

 

“How intriguing…” Sage now checks each of Recluse’s arms, going a bit slower than he needs to maybe, just because Recluse seems to be relaxing. Sometimes, cookies are more pliant when relaxed, more agreeable. “Do you tend to leave water often?”

 

“No. Not myself, at least. I cannot speak for other mers. Though, I do know that for some, basking on land is a… nostalgic sort of tradition.”

 

“How so?” Sage fiddles with each of Recluse’s fingers, and notes that the webbing between each one is slightly more pronounced than is regular on a cookie. Not to mention the nails, which seem to be naturally black and sharp.

 

“I don’t know.” Sage could see that lie from a mile away, but once again holds himself back. Patience is key here, when you’re dealing with a flighty specimen. And, Sage supposes, his flighty… spouse? That’s a nice word for it. Sage finishes checking each of Recluse’s hands and moves his own again, this time down past Recluse’s ribs and onto his waist, briefly brushing over his bellybutton, then lower— and that’s when Recluse catches his wrist again. Oh well, Sage got pretty far this time! One day, maybe someday soon, Recluse will let him touch and study everything.

 

Sage’s own thoughts fluster himself sometimes.

 

“You’re insatiable.” Recluse grumbles, and Sage can’t even argue with that one, “You ask me so many questions, and yet I know nothing about you.” Recluse still isn’t letting go of Sage’s one wrist, and Sage accepts that he’ll have to deal with it.

 

“Well, what would you like to know? I do love talking about myself!”

 

Recluse pounces at the opening like a shark tasting blood in the water, “Why are you here? Why now? Why not… earlier.” Sage gets the distinct feeling that Recluse had let slip just a tad too much. It’s as though he’d been agonizing over that particular question for a while, so much so that Recluse couldn’t hold back when given the chance to ask it. Now, Recluse shifts nervously in the sand, and avoids Sage’s gaze. Sage can empathize with this scenario, he too had been like this, before he learned that he didn’t need to hold back for anyone else’s sake unless he wanted to.

 

“Well, that’s because this lovely island is situated right around a middle point between all five ruins of the fallen kingdoms! Of course, excursions across the sea towards any of them still take a day or two by boat, but it’s quite convenient.” Apparently, it’s Recluse’s turn to examine Sage, as the mercookie starts fidgeting with Sage’s fingers and arm. “My team and I, you see, are all scientists. Each one of us leads the research on the artifacts and magical whatchamacallits left behind in each of those kingdoms.” Recluse narrows his eyes curiously at Sage, and slowly starts pulling Sage down into the sand. Sage goes easily, barely focused on whatever Recluse is doing and more entranced by watching his reactions. “Of course, the second I learned that you existed here and so close to where I’m staying, I put my original research on the back burner. You’re far more important.”

 

Recluse toys with Sage’s wet braid, his gaze held down as he murmurs his next question, “Then… Which kingdom were you researching?”

 

Oh boy. Sage braces himself by tangling one of his hands in Recluse’s hair, just to make it harder for his mercookie to run away should he try to. “Only the most magically dense and unknown kingdom, of course! The Vanilla Kingdom.” The Vanilla kingdom’s ruins are the most shattered out of all of them, and just about everything in it is broken to pieces. That’s why it’s Sage’s job to study it, because only a cookie as smart as himself could possibly parse together anything out of the shredded remains. It’s not lost on Sage that the Vanilla kingdom is the same one that his dear Recluse likely has ties to.

 

Against all odds however, Recluse only subtly tenses up at the mention of it. Sage holds his breath while Recluse takes a breath. “I see. It was… a glorious kingdom.” Sage curls a second hand into Recluse’s hair, just in case, because he’s about to do something very, very risky. 

 

“So… Care to share anything you know about it? It would be great for my research if we had any leads…” Sage knows intuitively that he shouldn’t push, that Recluse had left him for a whole night the last time Sage mentioned the Vanilla kingdom’s name and that Sage should stop while he’s ahead. On the other hand, Sage also knows that you never get anywhere without asking questions.

 

Recluse, once again, doesn’t tear himself violently from Sage’s grip nor start ushering him back home. In fact, Recluse does the opposite by leaning in closer, closer, closer… until his face is pressed against the crook of Sage’s neck. Recluse is basically on top of Sage now, and Sage is both embarrassed by how easily he lets Recluse be there, as well as quite pleased to have Recluse there. Quietly, though not quiet at all when it’s being whispered directly into Sage’s ear, Recluse speaks, “Did you know it used to be atop floating islands?”

 

No. What? What?! “Floating? Like in the sky?” Sage is shaking, how- that wasn’t ever a possibility he considered, but it sounds… plausible. It would explain why the kingdom’s ruins resemble what would happen if you smashed a cake on the floor, why the geography the ruins sit on looks so impossible, why pieces of the kingdom are found so far from the centre of the ruins, why there are so many glyphs everywhere-! “You’re not lying to me, are you?” Sage nearly shouts as Recluse starts pulling away and sliding backwards, back towards the water.

 

“How would you know if I was or wasn’t?” Recluse grabs onto Sage’s ankle and tugs him into the shallow water at the lip of where sand and ocean meet. Sage flails, splashing water that he can’t even care about all over the place. “Would you believe what I say?”

 

“No, no Recluse come on! Tell me if you’re lying!”

 

“Hm… it sounds like a lie, doesn’t it? Floating islands… whoever heard of that?” Recluse gathers Sage up against his chest, and Sage tugs at his golden hair with frustration. It does nothing to erase the cruel smile on Recluse’s lips.

 

“This- this is big! This could mean so much for my research! You can’t just say that and-!” Sage nearly chokes as Recluse dips under the water with him, just long enough to turn around.

 

Recluse is still smiling when he lifts Sage back up, and Sage can’t help but be horrified by it, “I think it’s time for you to go back to land, isn’t it?” Sage can’t believe Recluse! Sage’s thoughts are running wild at the revelation, and Recluse won’t even tell him that it’s a real one?!

 

“No you can’t—“ Recluse holds Sage against his chest under the water, and starts swimming back out towards the shore while ignoring Sage’s scrambling of protests.

 

When Sage finds himself, once again, alone on the sands on the beach, he can only stare up at the moon in offence. Sage learned so much and nothing at all, he’s sopping wet and yet still warm, the angelic mercookie he decided to pursue is a teasing little imp, and…

 

Sage has to sail another boat out to retrieve his tomorrow. Witches damn it.

 

——

 

It takes two nights of arguing, bartering, and shamefully, begging, before Sage finally gives up on prying the truth from Recluse’s lips about that particular matter. Sage has put a note in for the rest of his team to do their best to study for evidence of the floating island theory, but since he’s occupied with Recluse and studying mercookies, Sage has very low expectations. Still, if it does turn out to be true, then… Sage really owes Recluse a thank you. The Vanilla kingdom has been obscured by mystery for so long, any knowledge about it would help immensely in decoding the secrets behind it. The floating island revelation paired with the ‘Great Plague’ Lily mentioned both feel like key pieces to the puzzling Vanilla kingdom.

 

Of course, Sage will not be thanking Recluse tonight. “My dear… Will you finally let me look at your tail? I brought a measuring tape today and everything.” Recluse hums atop Sage’s back, where he’s been lying and braiding Sage’s hair (very inefficiently, since it’s still wet). Recluse is so dedicated to taming Sage’s damp hair that the mercookie doesn’t even respond until the shoddy braid is complete.

 

“Only…” Recluse hesitates, then gently nips at Sage’s ear before continuing. It’s a habit of Recluse’s, and Sage theorizes that it’s an affectionate gesture for mercookies to do, since the earrings of love are also on ears. “if you let me tell you a story.”

 

“Pah! As if I don’t love stories. You’re getting ripped off right now…” Recluse rolls off Sage, lying in the sand of their hidden little alcove instead. Sage pushes himself up with his arms and sits on his knees beside Recluse’s hip, then draws his measuring tape out of the pocket on his shirt. “I’m not complaining, do go on.”

 

“There’s a catch.”

 

Sage raises his brows, pausing two seconds away from lifting up Recluse’s tail so he can get a measurement of the circumference. “Oh? And what is this catch?”

 

“I’m sure you’ll hate it.” Recluse smirks, and that alone tells Sage that he truly will end up hating this. “You cannot ask questions about the story while I am telling it, nor after I am finished telling it.”

 

Sage bites back a curse by biting the inside of his mouth. “Wow Clusie… you really love to torture me, huh?” Recluse only lays there lazily, blinking his eyes at Sage. Sage tries holding his ground for a moment, but he knows that Recluse isn’t one to give in unless there’s a very good reason. Sage, unfortunately, has no good reason other than him knowing he’ll want to ask questions. “Fine.” Sage manages to grit out between his teeth, “Deal. You’re lucky I adore you so.”

 

“Am I? Hm.” Sage lightly flicks Recluse’s stomach for the comment, then continues on starting to measure Recluse’s tail. Recluse sighs once and tilts his head fully back against the ground, eyes fluttering shut. “Well then. This story starts in a beautiful, thriving land, and with five rulers.” Sage’s hands twitch so hard he loses his grip on Recluse’s tail, as well as his measuring tape. So badly does Sage want to ask, because five rulers is so obviously related to the five fallen kingdoms but without confirmation that’s just speculation— no, no he needs to calm down, now more than ever. Sage is sure Recluse will stop the story if Sage tries anything.

 

Recluse continues, either blissfully unaware of the deadly glare sent his way, or blissfully aware of it. “The five rulers were good friends, you see, but their duties kept them apart. They ruled each of their kingdoms fairly. They lived by the ways of Resolution, Abundance, Truth, Passion, and Freedom.” Sage recognizes Abundance as a word repeated across many half translated scriptures found by Spice’s team while studying the Golden Cheese kingdom. Again, Sage yearns to ask, and again he bites his tongue and just focuses on measuring. “However, one of the rulers wanted more. She wanted better for cookiekind, and set about researching magic and studying the Witches to search for ways to make cookies stronger. All she wanted was for cookies to live freely, without the limits of their soft, brittle dough.”

 

Sage finishes measuring the circumference of the widest point on Recluse’s tail, moves his measuring tape down, realizes he forgot the number he’d just measured, and curses as he redoes it. “Unfortunately, she was not against reaching into the forbidden for her answers. To her, the good of cookiekind was worth any cost, was worth going to any lengths. One day, she travelled deep underground into a forgotten catacomb in search of knowledge, and opened a box that unleashed a great evil onto the world.” Sage has to stop and squeeze Recluse’s tail just to gather himself. He has so many questions, and nowhere to put them. He kneads the sides of Recluse’s tail liberally, perhaps in retaliation, then stops with a flustered scoff when Recluse only squirms and blushes slightly. Sage would jump at the chance to pleasure Recluse on any other day, but the mercookie decidedly does not deserve a massage right now.

 

Sage still files that away for later, though. “The Great Calamity, it was called. The ruler knew that she had put the other kingdoms in danger, and fell ill with guilt. In trying to better the cookie world, she had unwillingly doomed countless cookies.” Sage is careful while he measures each of Recluse’s thin pectoral fins. “Despite her despair, she also thought she was the only one who could possibly save cookiekind, and continued her research in a frenzy as the Great Calamity marked each of the five kingdoms as its payment. Payment for a crime committed thousands of years ago by a cookie long crumbled, when it had been sealed away.” The five kingdoms and the five fallen kingdoms, the Great Calamity and the Great Plague… how frustrating it is, to know that he’ll never know whether this is all real.

 

“Eventually, only a fortnight before doomsday, her studies payed off. She found a spell that would make cookies functionally immortal and safe from the Great Calamity’s jaws, but at the cost of abandoning everything about the life they once knew.” The five fallen kingdoms have no traces of any corpses, no jam or flour or dough left anywhere. Not a single trace of a life taken in the ruins of the kingdoms. “She hastily sent the spell to the other four rulers, and gave them the choice whether to use it or not. Then, she herself cast it, and her loyal subjects followed her into the depths.” The depths? Sage almost asks on instinct, but clicks his mouth shut just in time. He focuses on measuring Recluse’s caudal fins.

 

“One ruler followed her without question, though he lost many of his subjects in the process. Some chose to flee on their own, unwilling to give up the lives they once knew, while others were unable to survive the transfer.” Recluse’s voice goes tight, and he pauses for a moment, then seemingly forces himself to continue. “The third ruler to cast the spell did so only once the Great Calamity approached and razed her lands. She could not bear to watch her family live in fear and under siege, so she cast the spell and pulled them all into the depths.” The depths. The depths. What does that mean? “The fourth and fifth rulers both bravely attempted to fight off the Great Calamity on their own, but once they had suffered countless losses, they too cast the spell and escaped into the depths.” So they all went, then. What does all of this mean? Sage can only fit together some of this story with the five kingdoms, and it’s frustrating to no end.

 

And even more so when Sage realizes that Recluse is done talking. “That- that can’t be it! What happened after? Where did the cookies of the five kingdoms go?” Recluse sits up and opens his eyes, just so he can tease Sage with his expression as well as his words. Recluse sighs and flicks his tail once, hitting Sage in the face with his fins.

 

“Ah, it seems not even my sincerest request scan stop you from asking questions, hm?” Sage freezes up at the realization the he had just broken the rules, but the lack of any anger on Recluse’s face emboldens him. Sage slowly crawls back up to Recluse’s face, glaring at him.

 

“You can’t expect me not to ask questions after a story like that!” Just out of habit and for the sake of being difficult, Sage grabs two handfuls of Recluse’s hair and parks himself right in the mercookie’s lap, “The great Sage of Truth never stops asking questions! Nothing will keep me from- mph…” Sage learns that day, that there is one thing that will keep his from asking questions. How unlucky it is for that one thing to be Recluse’s lips pressing into his.

 

Sage’s hands slowly release Recluse’s hair, only for him to grip the mercookie’s shoulders tight. Recluse bites at Sage’s lips with sharp teeth, and Sage tilts his head and opens his mouth. Maybe it looks obedient, but it was definitely not! Sage just let it happen because he wants to study Recluse’s tongue… definitely. The smell of seawater is almost overwhelming, all coming from Sage’s wet state, but the notes of vanilla that always seem to follow Recluse overpower that scent. Recluse grips Sage’s ribs and shoves him back against the sand. Recluse must be well attuned to how long Sage can hold his breath, because he pulls back at just the right time to leave Sage gasping.

 

Sage is so, so very distracted. Through the foggy haze of affection, Sage still manages to murmur out one last question, “W-Would you at least…” Sage trails off when Recluse’s sharp nails start plucking at the buttons of his shirt, then shakes his head to focus, “Would you tell me if that story… was a true one?”

 

Recluse hums in consideration, and he leans down to press his lips over Sage’s shoulder and neck. When Recluse speaks, it’s in a hushed and sinfully hot tone of voice, “The truth hurts.”

 

“I know- but please?” Sage isn’t one to beg, prideful as he is, but he really needs to know! “Was that story true?”

 

“Hmph.” Recluse carefully undoes Sage’s shirt and pulls it open with methodical grace. Recluse is moving slow in a way that Sage logically knows is to give him the time to push away, but it just feels painfully teasing. “Sometimes, it’s better not to ask questions.” Recluse says simply, his lips brushing against Sage’s neck with every word. Sage is incredibly, sufferingly distracted. He’d usually stand his ground, but he can only laugh.

 

“Questions like, how are we going to do this?” Sage mutters through a chuckle as he threads his fingers through Recluse’s hair, a clear sign that he wants the mercookie to stay.

 

Sage can feel Recluse smile against his skin, as well as the way his tail slides around one of Sage’s legs and the way his hands move lower with reverence, “Exactly. Sometimes it’s just better to lie.”

 

“As in… lie, or lie down and-“

 

“Both, now be quiet or I’ll leave.”

 

Sage, with little complaint externally nor internally, holds his tongue. Sage has done dumb things, but choosing to lie in this moment feels like possibly the smartest thing he’s done in a while. And it’s so very rewarding, especially when Recluse’s lips meet his again.

Notes:

Thank you all for reading! I honestly didn’t plan for there to be so much lore, but things just… happened. I’m super thankful for anyone who found their way here and cared enough to read!

Quick question for anyone thinking of commenting, I’ve got two more fics that I want to start writing and I’m torn between which one to do first. Since I’m really 50/50 between the two of them, I figured I should ask for everyone’s opinion here!

Option 1: Audience Participation - Pure Vanilla goes to the circus and accidentally gets wrapped up in the lead performer’s show. Fortunately, all the trials Shadow Milk puts him through are relatively easy! If Pure Vanilla can just pass the third test, he can win a kiss from the jester. (This is kind of a humiliation tour for Shadow Milk)

Option 2: What Virtues Pray for - HealerFount! The Fount of Knowledge is corrupting, but at least he has his cute boyfriend to worry about him. Follow Fount as his rebellion driven relationship blossoms into a tender marriage and they escape from the village trying to execute Fount. (Healer teaches Sage what it’s like to feel mortal, and how to love.)

To clarify, this is just me asking which one we’d like to see first. They’ll both be written at some point <3

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 5 of ClownDownTown’s CRK Fics