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“Everything’s great, Mrs. Way.” Frank's smile grew as the small, platinum haired woman was tight on his heels. It was the third time he’d tried to slip away to the basement, but with no success. It had already been twenty minutes of talking about Mikey’s college project, the repeat visits from the raccoon in the back yard, and being interrogated about how his classes were going. Of course, he wouldn’t tell her they weren’t going well. He’d been missing classes here and there to play shows out of state, and it was starting to show in his grades. But that wasn’t important right now. Right now, he just had to nod along while she paced from the stovetop to the fridge.
“You know Frankie,” she paused to wipe her hands on her apron, “you really should get Gerard to come out with you some more. He’s been huddled up in there for weeks. Sometimes I worry he doesn’t have any friends.” Guess she didn’t know about her son’s nightly habits. Gerard wasn’t necessarily a party animal, but he definitely wasn't absent from the scene either.
“Ma..” a creaking door and groggy voice floated out from behind Frank, “Let him come downstairs. You can catch up after we’ve worked for a bit…” Gerard stood with them now, plaid pajama pants hanging low on his hips and hair pointing in a million directions. The corner of Frank’s lips turned up, but only slightly. He could tell Gerard had just woken up.
Donna Way scoffed, drawing Frank’s attention away from her son over to her, “ You act like I’m such a bother, Gerard.” Her hands waved him off in an exasperated fashion.
“You’re never a bother, ma’am.” Frank turned up the charm, nose crinkling as he smiled and slowly backed up until his shoulders were pressed to Gee’s chest. Before Donna had a chance to thread yet another conversation together, Gerard grabbed Frank by the neck of his shirt, called out a swift goodbye to his mother and slammed the basement door closed behind them.
“You have to have the last word with her, Frankie, or she’ll never let you leave.” Frank heard Gerard mumble as he hopped down the stairs into damned near darkness. He still couldn’t wrap his head around how anyone could live in such a dim and gloomy space, but it seemed like Gerard thrived here. His mixed media paper sprawled over the desk, comics and copies of Playboy littered the floor by his bed, and a bat encased in resin on the bookshelf? Maybe it was best not to ask.
This also wasn't the first time Frank had been down here — this was just his first time seeing it during the day. The first time he tiptoed through, he had kicked the corner of the side table and knocked over one of Donna’s crystal vases. He was still paying that one off, but Gerard’s mom had cut him some slack after he promised to come over and have dinner with her sometime.
Just as his sneaker hit the basement floor, he was pulled from his thoughts when a warm hand snaked around the nape of his neck, spinning him to face the tired eyes he’d been dreaming about all week. Not that he could let Gerard know that. This was all supposed to be casual, right? Yeah…it was all casual.
Lips crashing against his in a haste, Gerard's long fingers tangling through Frank’s own messy hair, yanking his head back. “Fuck Gee…” he murmured at the pull, completely caught off guard. Normally it was Frank who had to lead, but he had a feeling coming in that it would be different since it was Gerard who initiated the meetup. Frank giggled breathlessly against the kiss and strained to pull himself away long enough to speak, “Not even a hello? Or how are you?” The last word fell weakly as teeth dragged against his neck, biting into the soft spot above his collarbone. Gerard’s clumsy hands fumbled with the zipper of Frank’s hoodie, yanking it off his shoulders and tossing it toward the stairs. No answer? No problem.
Frank returned the kiss, sloppy and rushed, teeth colliding while his hands grasped the sides of Gerard’s face. There was the faintest scratch of stubble where he had missed a day of shaving, “So this is what you called me here for, huh? Not because you missed me?” Frank smirked. Gerard’s solitary moan in response was enough of an answer. They moved as a unit across the room, trying not to trip over piles of dirty clothes while stepping on each other's toes. The back of Gerard’s legs hit the frame and they toppled together onto the mattress, heavy breaths and erections straining against fabric. The room filled with an air of desire, both trying to get the other undressed first.
“God Frankie..” Gerard hissed through clenched teeth and tugged open the button on Frank’s jeans. Frank’s shirt had ridden halfway up his chest from the fall, with Gerard littering his hot skin with open mouth kisses as he worked his way lower on his torso. Any normal person would be on cloud nine right now, but Frank? Frank felt…undesirable. Used. Maybe not in the sense that he wasn’t wanted, given the hot art student with his mouth wrapped around Frank’s cock, but was that all he was good for? Sex? Was that all anyone ever wanted out of him? He couldn’t help but wonder considering this was always the end result when Gerard reached out.
A swift pass of Gerard’s tongue brought Frank out of his thoughts and back to reality, realizing he had been staring straight into the eyes of Jesus Christ hanging on the cross above Gerard’s desk. “Fuck…” he moaned — for more reason than one — and let his head fall lazily onto the pillow.
Gnawing on his bottom lip to stifle the noises he desperately needed to release, Frank’s eyelids were heavy with lust as he watched Gerard’s cheeks hollow around his cock, taking all of him to the back of the throat. Tears welled in Gerard’s eyelashes after testing his gag reflex one too many times, and the sight itself could’ve made Frank come on the spot. Gerard looked so beautiful like this – so hopeless and willing to please. He needed to stop Gerard before this all ended way sooner than he wanted it to.
“Come here..” Frank cupped Gerard’s chin and guided his face back up to his own. Gerard’s lips were warm and swollen as he pressed them against Frank’s hungrily. His eager sexual appetite combined with the need to get closer was starting to mess with Frank’s head. Of course he was fine with just having sex, no strings attached made everything easier. But Frank didn’t want easier with Gerard. Frank had been battling this craving for Gerard for weeks now.
They’d first met during an impromptu jam session at Geoff’s after a late night show. Everyone was still rearing from the performance and needed to get some creative juices flowing. Frank, unfortunately, wanted nothing more than to be at home in his bed. He hadn’t been feeling inspired since he started college. His passion for music had turned into a class credit and he was forced to produce what used to come so naturally to him – forced to change things that sounded perfect to him, but were considered incorrect by academic standards. But when he walked into the room that night and saw the shaggy haired artist clad in a Smashing Pumpkins tour shirt and an oversized flannel, something inside of him shifted. Then Geoff introduced the two, and the rest was history.
Gerard had become sort of a muse for him -- secretly. The way his hair fell over his face when the wind blew inspired an entire song in Frank’s mind. A gentle guitar melody filled with soft notes and dreamy riffs. Hell, Frank could’ve filled an entire library with lyrics just about Gerard’s smile.
Except Gerard wasn’t the type to settle down, he learned. Gerard, when he wasn’t holed up in his bedroom, was getting around town. It was the unsettling charm and creative genius that drew people in. Frank had heard stories of his escapades and late night visits to others in their circle. Delusion kept Frank from accepting the truth, but he knew better. Gerard was a free spirit – not the type to be locked down by a single person. Frank hated it. He wanted to be next to Gerard when he woke up in the morning. He wanted Gerard to love him in the same unforgiving way that he loved Gee. But that wasn’t how all of this worked. So he had to take whatever attention he could get.
“Get on your stomach.” Frank pulled away from the kiss to order harshly, cutting the thoughts short. It was getting too gentle – too intimate to be casual. He needed to get a grip and get control of the situation – fast.
“You could say please.” Gerard teased as he laid on his stomach. Frank had already locked his emotions away and simply shook his head.
“Too late for that.” Frank snapped and positioned behind the artist. He couldn’t be mad at Gerard for not understanding his feelings – he didn’t even understand them, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t fuck his way through the frustration. It was how he dealt with most of his problems – by burying them in somebody else. He was a bit of a hypocrite in that sense, but he never felt the same passion as he did when he was with Gerard. The same passion that left him thinking about Gerard long after they had finished. “Arch your back.” His words were heavy as he stroked his throbbing erection, shaking his head to get rid of the haze of thoughts.
The sight before him was breathtaking. Gerard — hair clinging to the sweat on his forehead with flushed cheeks and practically begging for Frank’s cock. Frank almost couldn’t stand the whimpering that fell from pink lips after his hand had trailed over Gerard’s hips. Frank was so lost in his desire, he nearly missed the sound of the door handle turning at the top of the stairs.
Donna’s sweet voice called down into the room, “Gerard? Honey, did you get the mail today?” Followed by the creak of her shoe on the top step. Followed by another. Then another.
“Oh fuck–“ Gerard hissed as he shot up from the bed, lunging to the opposite corner with his hand desperately reaching to pull up his pants.
Frank scrambled, making too much noise for someone who was only supposed to be studying. He slammed his back into the wall, nearly knocking the wind out of himself, and yanked a pillow over his lap. There was no time to fight with his jeans before Donna’s body became visible on the staircase. He just prayed it wasn’t obvious that his ass was on full display.
The two locked eyes as Gerard’s mom landed on the last step. Gerard dropped his head, hair falling in his face as he laughed under his breath. “Gee? Did you get the mail today or not?” she repeated, annoyed with his lack of response.
All Gerard could do was scoff at how oblivious his mother was to the situation laid out in front of her. They were both very blatantly trying to catch their breath and Frank had his pants down to his thighs, grasping the Star Wars pillow case against his crotch like it was the last life preserver on a sinking ship. She was just looking around the room like everything was normal. “No, Ma…it’s Sunday..” he said softly, chin resting on his chest.
She paused for a moment to take in the information, gasping once it had finally processed. “Oh! Oh you’re right, aren’t you. Ha! Look at me.” Donna giggled to herself and spun around to leave, but not without surveying the room one last time before looking back at Gerard, “You know, you should really clean up in here…it’s starting to get that smell again.” Then quickly disappeared up the stairs.
Frank couldn’t contain himself longer than a second after the door shut. His laughter echoed loudly through the basement as he shoved Gerard’s shoulder.
“Please shut up.” Gerard’s face was buried in his palms, humiliation radiating.
“Oh come on, Gee...” Frank shifted to sit next to Gerard in bed. As embarrassing as it was, he wasn’t about to have Donna ruin this, “Don’t let that get to you...” The tip of his nose brushed the shell of Gerard’s ear, nipping teasingly at his earlobe. A quiet groan was pulled from Gerard’s throat and it was like the intrusion had never even happened.
In a matter of seconds, Gerard was pressed into the mattress with Frank on top, hands grasping viciously at each other and tongues tangling together. Frank’s jeans were down to his knees now, the fabric of Gerard’s flannel pajamas rubbing against the sensitive head of his cock.
Frank's hips ground down and a pathetic whimper escaped Gerard’s pretty mouth. Separating their kiss, Frank took his lip ring between his teeth and he smiled a real smile. As desperately as he wanted to tear into Gerard, he wanted to savor this moment. Gerard’s legs draped around his knees, his hands tracing the hem of Gerard’s shirt and the perfect pale skin underneath as he looked up at Frank with the hungriest hazel eyes he’d ever seen. This image was a memory that would hang beautifully in Frank’s mind forever. Even if Gerard never felt the same intimate feelings as he did, he could always just lean back on these times where he could play pretend.
Gerard must have noticed Frank’s staring, lacing his fingers behind Frank’s neck to pull him back in for a kiss – so full of desperation you would’ve thought that he needed it to survive. Frank’s left hand slid lower between the two of them and reached into Gerard’s pants to slowly stroke the head of his cock – already coated and slick.
“Oh you’re ready, aren’t you?” Frank's voice was just above a whisper, his hand slow and methodical. His breathing picked up, the excitement was the most challenging part to get over. Take your time, he had to remind himself. Who knows if you’ll get to do this again if Gerard moves on to another.
After a few tormenting minutes of Gerard squirming under Frank’s unrelenting watch, he reached his right hand up and pressed his index and middle finger against Gerard's pouted bottom lip, “Open.” And just as commanded, he obliged. Frank pushed the two fingers against his tongue, “Now suck.” His cock twitched as Gerard’s tongue wrapped around his fingers.
“Open..” Frank hummed after using his free hand to push one side of Gerard’s pajama pants off. After the first interruption, he didn’t want to leave him completely exposed if it happened again.
Frank pulled his hand free from Gerard’s mouth, sitting on his heels to look at him once over before nudging his thighs open wider. Gently and slowly, he pressed one finger inside, watching as Gerard sunk deeper into the mattress.
He leaned forward, hovering over Gerard’s mouth before moving his finger in and out. A hand latched on to Frank’s bicep, the other wrapped itself in the sheets below them. Their lips locked together, starving for one another’s taste. Frank would’ve thought he would’ve been used to it by this point, this was their routine, but the way he writhed underneath him never failed to make Frank’s dick even harder.
Another finger earned a back arching up from the bed, their cocks brushing sent a shudder down Frank's spine. “Fuck…” he groaned into Gerard’s mouth and continued to pump his fingers.
A few minutes of intense kissing passed before Frank reluctantly asked, “Ready?” and yanked the silver wrapper out of his pocket. His head lulling to one side as he tore open the corner with his teeth and slid the condom on.
“Yea…yes..” Gerard answered almost too quickly and hiked his legs up farther. He had propped himself up onto his elbows to watch as Frank withdrew his fingers, lined up and leaned in — jaw slacked and lashes fluttering shut. He couldn't keep his eyes off of Frank as he continued to thrust, lost in delirious sensation. Gerard fell onto the bed, hands wandering under Frank’s shirt, desperate to hold on to anything possible. His fingers dug into the exposed skin while Frank’s rhythm never faltered. Damn guitarists.
Frank’s arms planted firmly on their side of Gerard’s shoulders, hands gripping the sheets like his life depended on it. He snapped his hips, the ancient springs in the mattress creaking loudly underneath them. There was no chance that Gerard’s mom couldn’t hear upstairs, but she had a radio on when Frank had walked in that he hoped would cover the noise.
“Touch yourself, Gee. Shit…you look so good like this,” Frank praised through gritted teeth, letting out a sharp breath as he tried to keep his composure. He was getting so close.
Gerard's cheeks lit up red, but he didn’t hesitate to take his own flushed cock in his hand. Slow strokes pulled pathetic groans from his throat.
All Frank could focus on was how tight Gerard felt around him while he buried deeper and deeper with each thrust. The feeling of the fingernails stinging into the back of his thigh was just the push he needed to keep up the pace.
“Frankie...I’m gonn–”
“Fuck. Me too.” Frank cut him off, panting and squeezing his eyes shut to try and earn just a little longer in the moment – that familiar pressure building in his lower stomach.
Curse words fell between the sounds of skin on skin as Gerard came; hot and sticky ropes covered his stomach and hands. The commotion along with sight is what sent Frank over the edge in a matter of seconds, eyebrows knitting together and panting loudly as his muscle locked.
After a minute of silence with their foreheads pressed together, simultaneously trying to catch their breaths, Frank carefully pulled out and fell onto his back beside Gerard. He shut his eyes and just allowed himself a moment of peace, listening to the soft breathing next to him.
“You just get better and better every time...” Gerard laughed under his breath, turning on his side to face Frank, who looked like he could fall asleep. Gerard scanned his profile in silence, appreciating the soft features of his face.
“Oh quit…” Frank could feel Gerard’s eyes on him.
“I’m serious. Ever since we’ve started hanging out and doing…y’know…this, you’ve outdone yourself from every time before.” Gerard chirped behind Frank after he had crawled out of bed to dispose of the condom in the small trash can next to his desk. He made a mental note to take that out before his mother did.
Frank chuckled and shook his head, “You don’t need to try and flatter me to keep me coming back, Gee...You just have to call.” He cleared his throat and snatched a tissue out of the box on the desk to clean himself up. As long as Gerard continued to show interest in Frank, Frank would be there to please. Whether that was for sex or as a friend.
There they were, the words Gerard was dreading. There were small things in Frank's behavior that told him he was getting too close; the phone calls in the middle of the night when Frankie was drunk, the way he clung to Gerard’s side at parties, and now this. He would be lying if he said he felt nothing for Frank, but that was the problem.
Gerard couldn’t trust himself to settle down. He knew he had a wandering eye, and whether he wanted to admit it or not, he had a serious commitment issue. He couldn’t even make plans to hang out with his brother, let alone keep someone else happy in a relationship. The last thing he wanted to do was lead Frank down a path that was sure to end poorly. He needed to rip the bandaid off here and now.
“Frank.” The sudden authority in Gerard’s voice pulled his attention away from the zipper on his jeans. Gerard had moved to the edge of the bed now, pajama pants twisted off center like he had pulled them up in a rush. The look on his face made Frank’s heart sink – this was it.
“Frank…I really don’t know if we should do this again…I don’t think it’s good for you.” Gerard dropped his gaze, hands preoccupied with the blanket he was sitting on. “I think you might be getting too attached and I’m not the kind of person you should be getting attached to.”
Frank focused on something on the floor, mind racing a million miles a minute as he processed what was happening– how quickly they went from sharing an intimate moment to this. He knew what was coming, maybe he had manifested it, but he never expected it to hurt like this.
The air in the room was still, neither of them moving as Gerard’s words hung heavy around them. It had been such a sudden flip.
There was a lump forming in Frank’s throat when he opened his mouth to speak, “Got what you wanted and…that’s it, huh?” His words were harsh and he knew that, but at this moment he really didn't care. He sucked air in through his teeth, eyes still locked in one spot as he shook his head. It was all he could muster up without truly being malicious.
Frank handled rejection like a dog handled being forced into a corner; biting words, gnashing teeth and threatening to bite. “Should’ve known this was how this would end. How could I be so stupid? Of course you never wanted to see me outside of your bedroom.” Frank snapped, zeroing in on Gerard, who continued to sit with his head down. He silently begged for Gerard to look up – to apologize and change his mind. He didn’t.
“I think you need to leave…” was all he said.
Frank’s nod turned into a shake of his head, “Yeah…alright.” He said, hesitating at the bottom of the stairs and shrugged his hoodie back up his shoulders. “See ya, Gerard.” The words escaped his mouth like venom.
In seconds, his hood was over his mess of hair and he was at the top of the stairs. He stumbled into the kitchen, nearly scared the life out of Mrs. Way who was propped at the kitchen table with the newspaper and a cigarette.
She raised her drawn-on eyebrows and peered at him over her readers, sitting up a little straighter when he shut the basement door behind him, “You leaving already, sweetie? Well, I thought for sure you were staying for dinner!” She tapped her cigarette into the ash tray at the center of the table cloth and stood to meet him half way through the room.
“Yeah, Mrs. Way. I just um…I have to get home. My mom just called.” His voice caught weakly in his throat.
“What a pity.” She frowned with disappointment, gently rubbing his arms before pulling him in for a tight, motherly hug. Frank couldn't lift his arms enough to return the favor, but could feel the pain of his emotions rising in his chest. He had to get out of there as fast as possible.
“I’m sure I’ll be seeing you again soon.” He lied quietly, giving her a small nod as a goodbye and walked out the front door.
The afternoon sun was starting to set as he made his way down the concrete steps, focusing on the wide strides he had to take before he got to the gate. Frank paused for a second, burying his hands in his pockets to hunt for his cigarettes and lighter. He flipped open the top, settling one of the cigarettes on the corner of his lips before tucking them back away. After a few failed attempts to spark the flint, a couple of curse words and a burn on his thumb, he finally got the damn thing lit.
The October air bit at his cheeks as he stood in place, taking a long inhale from his cigarette. “Fuck…” he whispered to himself and shoved open the wrought iron gate. His mind raced, heart ached and stomach twisted as the reality of the situation settled in. Frank was, once again, the thing he feared the most – alone. His nose was getting stuffy when he reached up to wipe his jacket sleeve over his face.
He let his head hang, kicking the fallen autumn leaves beneath his sneakers. Maybe this needed to happen. At least he could use the cold breeze as an excuse for the tears that pricked the corner of his eyes when he got back home.