Chapter Text
i used to waste my time dreaming of being alive
now i only waste it dreaming of you
"Did you pack everything?" was the first thing Jude's mom asked as he loaded the bags into the car. "Laptop, chargers, socks, toothbrush?"
"Yeah," he replied without turning to look at her, straining to shove the last large suitcase into the trunk; maybe it would be better to put one in the back seat. "Don't worry, I got everything."
Jude's mom nodded and looked at him for a few more moments before turning and getting into the car.
It took a few tries to get the trunk fully closed, but he managed it eventually. Jude scanned the ground around him, just to make sure nothing was left behind, and sighed in satisfaction before grabbing the backpack near his feet and hopping into the back seat.
Jobe had already been sitting in the car for a while, his uniform crisp and neatly pressed as he stared out the window at the house entrance; he was listening to music so loud Jude could hear it bleeding through the earbuds. Jobe hadn't spoken to anyone all morning, sporting a massive scowl and giving off such a sour smell that Jude had practically forced him to put on the scent patches because his scent was making their mom anxious.
He and Jobe were both alphas, just like their dad. Jude's mom was a soft-spoken omega who rarely let emotions get the better of her, but if there was one thing that clearly made her nervous and affected, it was when one of the three of them deviated from their normal scent. Jude tended to be the one who paid the most attention to the emotions he let spill around her; he'd always been the most sensitive and thoughtful of the bunch, not to mention affectionate to the point of being a bit clingy.
The whole ride was quiet and uncomfortable; Jobe didn't look away from the window once, and Jude tried to distract himself with his phone. It hadn't always been like this, this oppressive silence and nervousness hanging in the air; in fact, when Jude's dad still lived with them, the rides used to be loud and fun, everyone trying to talk over each other and be louder than the rest, Jude and Jobe fighting over snacks or sodas while their mom tried to calm things down from the front seat, though deep down Jude knew she was watching the scene with affection. Her scent never lied.
In the last few days, she'd also started wearing scent patches most of the time, and Jude could see that Jobe was the one most affected by the whole situation. He was still very young, and being deprived of his own mom's scent was clearly messing with him. Jude got anxious sometimes too without her scent, but he was three years older and could understand that it was better not to smell anything at all than to know she was angry and hurt all the time.
The drive from their house in Birmingham to the boarding school took about three hours, and Jude gave up on his phone halfway through; the battery was dying ridiculously fast and he spent more time with it plugged in than unplugged — Jude needed a new phone yesterday, but with so much happening lately, this was just another problem he didn't want to dump on his mom. He'd been saving his allowance for a few months to buy one himself, but Jude had a bit of a serious problem with online game cosmetic addiction; there was nothing more tempting in the world than the way the buy RP button stared at him at 2 a.m.
Jobe was the first to get out of the car when their mom pulled into the school parking lot, and Jude saw in the rearview mirror how she frowned and looked at him with concern. He didn't want to interfere with what Jobe was feeling, especially since he himself was taking the divorce better than anyone in that house, but their mom already had enough on her plate to worry about her youngest son going through a phase; maybe Jude really should talk to him.
He grabbed his backpack and got out of the car when his mom opened the trunk. The parking lot was full, with families hugging and saying goodbye to their kids, counselors calling everyone to form lines and handing out tags for luggage identification; nothing different from last year. Jude had been studying here since he was 15 and was pretty used to the system.
"Are you coming home in October?" his mom asked while helping Jude unload the bags.
"Yeah, probably," he replied. "If I don't have too much going on here."
His mom just nodded, and Jude could see her brows still furrowed in that worried way; he took a deep breath and peeled part of the scent patch on his neck, doing his best to make his scent calmer and more comforting.
"I'll keep an eye on Jobe," he said, setting the bag down and turning to face his mom.
His mom nodded her head several times, swallowing hard. "Do you think it's too soon? Maybe I should have left him at regular school."
"He's fourteen, he'll get used to it," Jude snorted. "He's not that little kid anymore, mom."
She sighed and ran a hand over her face. "Jude… Your dad and I—"
"I know," he interrupted, flinching back slightly from the awkward topic. "You don't need to worry about me, it's Jobe who isn't taking it well."
She glanced at Jobe, who was still leaning against the car hood, face glued to his phone screen and earbuds shoved deep in his ears; Jude was willing to bet money he'd go deaf one day listening to music that loud.
"What do I say to him?"
Jude looked at her with one eyebrow raised, a small smirk playing on the corner of his lips. "I don't know, you're the parent here."
His mom smiled faintly, but Jude could see she was still upset. He put an arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer; she wrapped her arms around his back and pressed her face right against his neck, breathing deeply. Jude was taller than her, had been for a couple of years actually, and he never imagined he'd be the one comforting his own mom. He didn't know how to feel about the whole situation; the divorce didn't affect him as much, Jude already knew it was going to happen sooner or later, he just never imagined he'd be the most mature of all of them.
They pulled back, and Jude's mom picked up Jobe's bags. Jobe finally pulled his earbuds out when they stopped in front of him, his face still closed off and the bad mood only a pre-teen alpha could pull off.
Despite the scowl, he still hugged their mom and said goodbye, grabbing the bags from the ground and walking with Jude toward the gate.
"You okay?" Jude asked, stepping closer to him.
Jobe scoffed and rolled his eyes, but didn't offer any more response than that. Jude gave up trying to start a conversation; it was better to let him marinate in his own emotions for a while than to poke a wound he wasn't ready to stitch up yet.
He and Jobe split up at the luggage identification line, after Jude helped him stick the name tags on his two blue suitcases; Jobe didn't look back as he headed toward the counselor for his grade’s line, and Jude tried not to feel hurt.
Jude found Declan and Jordan in the orientation line. Jordan had one hand on his nose, loudly complaining about everything and everyone around him.
"What's up?" Jude said as he approached, dapping both their hands before turning to Jordan with an amused look. "What's your problem today?"
Jordan let out a scoff. "This horrible alpha smell in the air, it's giving me a headache. Why isn't anyone wearing the patches properly?"
"You've been coming here for almost three years, you know no one wears the patches on orientation day," Declan replied, hands in pockets and a lazy expression on his face as he stared at Jordan. "You should be used to it by now. It's an all-alpha boarding school, what scent would there be? Of pudding?"
He turned to Jude, raising his eyebrows and nudging his arm with his elbow, as if to say ‘am I right?'. Jude let out a little laugh.
"I have no idea how you guys get used to this," Jordan looked at them, irritated, while scratching his nose one more time with his palm and crossing his arms. "I hate this place, I hate being surrounded by a bunch of stinky people. To me, the only acceptable thing among alphas is punching each other."
"Should we start beating you now then?" Jude said, and Declan laughed loudly, shoving his shoulder.
Jordan flipped them off and turned forward, sneezing a few times. The three followed the counselor's line to the main hall, where the dorm assignments were being distributed. When he filled out the form for dorm release, Jude chose to leave blank the field asking if he had any preference for rooming with his peer from the previous year; the experience had been terrible, the guy couldn't stop leaving dirty underwear and socks scattered around the room and Jude suffered all year. Since Declan and Jordan always chose to room together — they'd been there since 14 and Jude arrived a year later, he was usually at the mercy of fate and luck when it came to who he'd be stuck with for a whole year.
Please, let it be someone cleaner this year, at least that, he thought as he looked at the list and searched for his name.
Dorm 340, third floor, Jude Bellingham x Erling Haaland.
"Haaland?" Jude said out loud, reading the name one more time.
Declan leaned in closer to look. "Could it be the son of the guy who played for City?"
"Must be, how many Haalands are there?"
Jude turned and followed his friends out of the main hall, the three heading toward the cafeteria to grab the orientation day lunch.
"He should have been playing for some team, then, what's he doing in an English boarding school?" Jordan asked, squeezing himself between Jude and Declan; his nose was red from all the scratching.
"I don't know, I just hope he cleans up his own mess," Jude grumbled, getting in line to get some food.
The three of them ate lunch together, chatting about the summer. Even though all three of them had spent most of their summer break gaming together until the early hours of the morning, Jude hadn't managed to see any of them for a single day. He told his friends about the situation back home, kind of briefly, so he wouldn't have to get into any uncomfortable details, and after a few words of support, the topic quickly shifted to something more comfortable.
After lunch, Jude said his goodbyes and headed to his own dorm. As he climbed the stairs, he prayed again that he wouldn't have any issues with his roommate this year; ever since his parents enrolled him in the boarding school, last year was the only time Jude had really felt angry about being in that situation. He was someone organized and a bit methodical, and there was nothing that annoyed him more than having to clean up other people's messes.
Yeah, he could have just left things as they were, after all, he wasn't anyone's maid, but Jude genuinely couldn't do it. He couldn't live in a pigsty – which his dorm would definitely have become if it was up to his last roommate – and just not do anything about it. He had even asked a few times to switch rooms, but he had no success with those attempts.
The dorm door was open and his bags were near the doorframe; when Jude stopped at the door, his new roommate was already inside, stacking folded clothes on the dresser that was on his side of the room.
Jude stared. He was very tall and very blonde; his uniform was messy and he'd already taken off his tie, leaving it tossed on the mattress, the sleeves of his white shirt rolled up to his elbows and his hair pushed back.
"Hey," Jude called, knocking on the door a few times to announce he was there. The boy lifted his head and Jude could see that his eyes were a striking blue. "You good? I'm Jude," he stepped into the room, extending a hand for a handshake.
"Hi," he replied, stepping away from the dresser and shaking Jude's hand firmly; his hand was big, too. "Erling, I guess you're my roommate."
Jude nodded and noticed his strong, yet understandable accent. His hair touched the nape of his neck and the front fell under his eyes; his eyebrows were also very blonde and he had some very light freckles scattered across his cheeks.
He let go of Erling's hand and turned to grab the bags at the door. Jude set them by his bed, took the backpack off his shoulders and dropped it on the mattress, unzipping it to pull out his laptop, headset, and mouse. If he could, he would have a proper PC, but since he spent most of the year away from home, a gaming laptop was the most obvious choice and guaranteed he wouldn't go a whole year without playing something.
Jude wasn't a complete introvert, far from it actually. He was part of the school's football team and could socialize easily; people liked him and he had a friendly, inviting scent; it just happened that most of his hobbies, aside from football, involved locking himself in his room, face buried in some monitor and ruining his eyesight.
"Do you play anything?" he heard Erling ask.
Jude looked away from the bed and turned to face him. He was standing pretty close, looking over Jude's shoulder at his setup, his blue eyes shining with interest.
Jude stepped back a bit, slightly embarrassed. "Uh, yeah. Mostly League."
The spark in Erling's eyes got brighter. "Really? Me too! What lane do you play?"
"Jungle, actually."
"Nice, I play top," he stepped back a bit and smiled, hands behind his back; Jude noticed that a few buttons on his uniform shirt were open. "We should play together sometime."
"Sure," Jude agreed, more out of politeness than actually wanting to play with him; not that Jude was the world's best League of Legends player, but he already had too many people to carry, if he considered Jordan and Declan.
Erling's smile got a little bigger and he turned back to continue unpacking; Jude did the same. Jude could see from the corner of his eye that Erling was organizing the clothes on the dresser with care, each piece folded neatly and placed in a designated spot; Jude shifted his gaze to the shoe rack behind the door — Erling's shoes were stored neatly, instead of being thrown around the carpet.
Thank God, Jude thanked silently, feeling a bit more upbeat about the start of the school year. At least his roommate wasn't a complete slob.
"Do you mind if I don't wear the scent patches in the room?" Erling asked sometime later, when Jude had already finished organizing his desk and started unpacking his clothes.
Jude looked at him. "’Course not, mate, it's your room too."
Erling nodded and took the opportunity to pull the patches off his wrists and neck, tossing them into the trash can under his own desk. Jude quickly looked away and swallowed hard as his scent started to fill the room; a bit warm and sweet, different from most alphas Jude had met. He cleared his throat quietly.
"I think we're gonna get along," Erling continued, and even though Jude wasn't looking at him, he could almost hear the smile in his voice. "I'm excited to see how the rest of the year will go."
Jude nodded, still unpacking his suitcase. "Me too."
Jude's first week flew by without much drama; he went to classes and spent most of his time with Declan and Jordan. The two didn't have the same schedule as Jude, and normally that would've bummed him out, but having Erling around made up for his best friends' absence during class.
Erling was right; they really were getting along. Erling was really talkative, but Jude didn't mind because he was the same way. They had five out of eight classes together and shared the same tastes in hobbies, entertainment, and jokes. Jude also got used to Erling's scent filling the room pretty quickly.
He didn't wear the scent patches in the dorm either, and after a couple of days of getting used to it, their scents mixed in the air and became something comfortable, even nice to smell. Erling wasn't overly territorial and could share the space with Jude without any issues, except for the fact that he liked to leave his scent on things. Clothes, blankets, objects, and on Jude.
It wasn't that big of a deal, actually. After all, Jude grew up surrounded by more alphas than omegas — he also liked marking others with his scent, whether it was a hug, a hand on the neck, or a light touch; Jude understood the urge and the instinct.
Right now, for instance, it was the weekend, and Jude was watching the rookies' tryouts to get on the school team. He was the captain, so his word carried a lot of weight with the coach when choosing new members. Four guys from the team had graduated last year, and they were almost desperate for a new striker.
So, it seemed like divine providence that Erling was one of the best players Jude had ever seen.
Jude had looked him up online on the second day and found out that, yes, Erling was really the son of a former pro player; he'd even played for some Norwegian teams when he was younger.
"Why did you stop?" Jude had asked when he confronted Erling with the info.
Erling just shrugged. "It wasn't much fun anymore."
Jude couldn't get it, for real. He stared at Erling in disbelief. "Your dad's a famous ex-footballer, why not take advantage of that? You've already inherited the talent."
Erling laughed, his eyes still glued to his laptop screen. He was playing a solo ranked match; he'd insisted a lot on Jude playing with him, but Jude had refused every time. Jude had a rank to protect, and he needed to know Erling's real skills before committing to a new duo.
"The world isn't ending tomorrow," he replied, distracted as he flashed away from a gank. "When I want to start playing again, I can ride the nepotism wave and get into a club. Like you said, I've already inherited the talent."
Jude just shook his head, still in disbelief at the injustice of the world. If his dad had played for a team as big as Manchester City, Jude would never have stepped foot in a boarding school.
Erling's indifference lasted only until the next day, when he saw Jude's kit. He seemed interested, and Jude couldn't help but puff out his chest when he mentioned he'd been team captain since last year. Just to stir the pot a bit, he dropped the info that they needed new players, and that was enough for Erling to sign up.
Now, as Jude watched him play, with Declan and Jordan sitting on the stands next to him, Jude couldn't hold back his impressed reaction. Erling was seriously good; he was fast, aggressive, and played like the tryout was worth more than just a spot on the school team.
"Imagine this guy running at you in a real match," Declan had said, shaking his head in awe. "I'd just pass the ball straight to his feet and get out of the way."
"Terrifying," Jordan agreed. "He's huge; must be the Viking genes."
Jude frowned and looked away from Erling to his friends. "What do you mean, Viking?"
"Well," Jordan uncrossed one arm and held out a palm, still watching the match. "He's Norwegian."
Jude snorted. "So now every Norwegian is a Viking?"
"Well, technically speaking…"
"He was born in Leeds, Jordan."
Jordan rolled his eyes. "He could've been born on Mars for all I care; you're not gonna convince me that's not a baby Viking."
"He's almost two meters tall, Jude," Declan leaned over to look at him while talking. "Plus, he's an alpha. Omegas must go crazy when he’s around."
Jordan huffed, shaking his head. "All for him and none for us."
"Nothing left for us…"
"You both are ridiculous," Jude rolled his eyes and went back to watching the match.
When the tryout ended, Erling took off his jersey and ran toward Jude, who was coming down from the stands to the sideline. He was sweaty, with a huge grin on his face, his blonde hair held back from his eyes by a hair band.
"What did you think, Captain?" was the first thing he said when he got close to Jude, peeling the scent patches off his wrists and crumpling them in his hand. "Think I've got a chance?"
Jude shook his head, smirking. "I'm completely impartial and professional; I can't give you that information."
"Right, right," Erling laughed and put an arm around Jude's shoulders, pulling him closer. "Are those your friends over there?"
Jude looked where Erling was pointing, toward Declan and Jordan. "Yeah, one's our goalie and the other's one of the midfielders."
"Cool," Erling nodded before looking away from the stands and back at Jude's face. "Let's go talk to them."
He started pulling Jude before Jude could say anything, rubbing his wrist gland on Jude's shoulder to leave his scent.
That's what Jude meant when he said Erling marked everything and everyone. And seriously, he understood the instinct; he had the same instinct, knew that sometimes you did it unconsciously and that, most of the time, it didn't mean anything major, just alpha stuff.
But there was a huge difference between the two; so big, in fact, that Jude wondered if all the similarities they shared could overcome it. He wondered if Erling would still act that way with him, touch him the same way, leave his scent on him the same way, if he knew what Jude really liked.
Jude realized he was different from the other alphas at the school last year.
At first, he thought he was just imagining things; he was young and hadn't had any real contact with an omega yet. Jude entered the boarding school at fifteen, and the years he spent at regular school didn't really count for figuring out what he liked or being sure about what he didn't.
The only omegas he really knew were his mom and the neighbor's daughter, if he was being honest. He hadn't had his first rut yet, so at first, he was sure things would change when it actually happened. What made that hope vanish was realizing he just couldn't get into the conversation when Declan and Jordan talked about omegas; when they started telling stories about the omegas they saw during summer break, their scents, the curve of their necks, how good it must be to hold one in their arms, or pin one to the mattress.
He knew it was normal to talk and imagine that kind of stuff, especially at their age, and for a long time, Jude tried to jump into the conversation. For a long time, he tried to pretend he was more interested in omegas than he really was, but the truth was, he couldn't feel the desire. The idea didn't interest him, the scent of an omega didn't turn him on, and not to mention the more explicit stuff.
Because while Declan and Jordan imagined holding a delicate, sweet omega in their arms, marking their neck, or doing whatever else could happen, Jude imagined the same thing, except the target of those fantasies was usually another alpha.
While Declan and Jordan imagined running their hands over soft curves, Jude imagined gripping another alpha's waist. While they talked about slick and the needy voices, Jude imagined lying on top of someone as strong and tall as him, fighting to see who would take control. While his friends talked about that soft, hypnotizing scent, Jude found himself wanting to roll around in the scent left on his skin after one of the team's matches.
Maybe he should've taken more time to process this info and this discovery. Maybe he should've panicked a bit, or cried for being different from everyone else. But with his parents' divorce, Jobe isolating himself, his relentless pursuit of the Challenger rank, and him becoming team captain, Jude just decided he didn't have time to freak out about being... alphasexual(?). Whatever, it didn't matter. It wasn't like this changed Jude as a person, or how he interacted with Declan and Jordan; he didn't feel any less of an alpha for wanting to sleep with one.
The discovery didn't change his life at the boarding school that much. Yeah, Jude was sexually attracted to alphas, but not these ones around him. He'd known most of them since he was fifteen; he'd seen some pretty embarrassing and questionable stuff up close that killed any interest Jude might've felt now that everyone was really becoming full-blown alphas. He also didn't have much interest in the alpha girls living in the other building after the football pitch, but he was almost certain that was because he was gay.
Still, Jude avoided opening his eyes in the showers or looking anywhere except the faucet in front of him; he'd rather not risk starting to find one of them attractive, especially naked in the showers. Each floor of the boys' dorm had a communal shower, and the place was as lovely as you can imagine. The idea of being naked and surrounded by the gender that sexually attracted you is interesting until you smell the place and remember, oh yeah, it's a bunch of kinda gross alphas.
Honestly, Jude preferred it like this. It wasn't just because he didn't mind liking alphas, that it meant others wouldn't mind either. Jude was almost certain Declan and Jordan wouldn't stop talking to him or ostracize him for it; but they'd definitely ask too much and make some awkward jokes, and Jude didn't have the patience for that.
Soon he'd graduate, so he wouldn't have to worry about any of this anymore. Sure, it was kinda depressing to spend his whole adolescence and get almost to twenty without even having kissed anyone on the lips, but Jude's circumstances were pretty extraordinary, so he figured he deserved a break. He’d just have to finish this year and the next, and he'd finally be free to really think about and explore that part of himself.
And, even though Jude was now rooming with an alpha who was really different from the others at the school, nothing should change. And yeah, now Jude had to force himself to look away, trying really hard not to think about Erling walking in without a shirt, or deciding to come out of the showers just in a towel to change in the dorm, or the way he liked to talk while touching Jude, or how their scents mixed in the air and how all of Jude's clothes smelled like him. And yeah, now the matches were going to be harder with Erling on the team, and Jude really needed to force himself to look uninterested. And yeah, all of this was messing with his head a bit, but nothing needed to change.
The possibility of Erling liking the same thing as him was practically zero, and that fact alone was enough to kill 70% of any interest Jude might've had. They were becoming friends, and that was already more than enough. If Jude was being honest, he didn't even know if he wanted to explore all these feelings right now.
And that's how his September went by; Erling integrated into his life with ease; into his friend group, his team, and into that spot reserved for a duo that actually knew how to play League without Jude needing to work miracles so they wouldn't drop ranks.
Jude wasn't greedy, never had been; just that was enough.
It started getting difficult after the first autumn break.
Jude had spent the weekend before the 30th trying to convince Jobe to come home with him; Jobe threw a fit and refused every time, to the point where Jude got annoyed and told him he was going whether he liked it or not, period. He didn't like being the annoying older brother, but Jobe was really getting on his nerves.
In the last few days, he'd picked up this nasty habit of running away from Jude during lunch. It was hard for the two of them to see each other during the day since Jobe was three grades behind him and his dorm was on the completely opposite side of the building from Jude's; the only way they could talk was during lunch and class breaks, but Jobe had figured out he didn't have to talk to Jude if he didn't want to.
Jude would see him from a distance with some friends; at least then, Jobe was always laughing and engaged in some conversation, so Jude managed to calm his fear that Jobe felt alone and isolated at the boarding school. But he figured out pretty early that Jobe's good mood didn't extend to him.
"I just think it's ridiculous, that's all," he was complaining to Erling as he stuffed some clothes into his backpack; he and Jobe were heading out early tomorrow to catch the bus back to Birmingham. "It's not my fault our parents are splitting up."
"Sometimes he might think it's his fault," Erling replied. "I was really unbearable and prickly because of my mom too."
"Yeah, but the difference is your mom died," Jude grumbled, shoving a shirt into the back of the bag with anger; his scent was starting to sour. "Our dad hasn't died, he just moved to a different neighborhood. It's not even fifteen minutes from our house."
"He's fourteen, Jude; to him, it's the same as dying."
Jude huffed and dropped the backpack on the bed, turning to look at his roommate. Erling was sitting in his desk chair, one leg draped over the seat and the other propped up on the desk, all twisted up and slouching, while he queued up a solo ranked match on an alt account. He'd practically begged Jude to play with him, and Jude almost agreed until he saw that Erling was dead set on playing Irelia.
He wasn't as bad as Jude had imagined, but he could be pretty irritating when he wanted to be. Most of the time, he listened and obeyed when Jude told him to stay back or think more about macro than individual play; the rest of the time, he was the typical top laner who couldn't understand why the game couldn't just revolve around him.
When Jude told him that, Erling looked at him in indignation and asked why not. Jude explained that if he wanted Jude's gameplay to work around him, he'd either have to learn to play in another lane or pick a champion who could actually carry the game. As for why his first choice was to play Irelia, Jude had no idea.
"You need to learn to play with a free camera if you want to use that champ," Jude said, stepping closer to the chair and stopping behind him, watching him play. "You're wasting her skills playing like that."
"Free camera makes me dizzy," Erling replied without taking his eyes off the laptop screen.
Jude raised his eyebrows, an incredulous look on his face as he watched the worst Irelia gameplay in the world.
"That combo is wrong," he shook his head, crouching down slightly beside Erling's face. "The right order is E, ultimate, Q, auto-attack, E, Q again, auto-attack again, then the final Q, then you back off. You weave the W in between that."
"Ugh," Erling grunted loudly and rolled his eyes, completely ignoring what Jude said.
He decided to just let Erling do it his way and stay quiet while he went into a fight he definitely wasn't going to win. As soon as the gray screen appeared, Erling turned to him with a tight smile; Jude snorted and turned back to continue packing his bag.
"Congrats, now you're going to be under your turret for twenty minutes."
"They're going to ask to surrender anyway."
"And that's exactly why I'm not playing on my main account with you until you give up on that champ."
He heard Erling chuckle as he turned to the dresser to grab some underwear. Jude still had some clothes at home, but his favorites were all here at the boarding school.
"Are you staying here for the whole break?" Jude asked after Erling had accepted the surrender and gone to lie on his own bed.
"Yeah," he replied, elbow propped on the pillow and head resting on his hand, watching as Jude moved around the dorm. "I don't have family here, and it's not worth flying to Norway just to spend four days at home."
"And what are you gonna do here all by yourself? Most people are heading home."
Erling shrugged one shoulder and flopped onto his back, hands behind his head with his eyes closed. Jude tried to glance casually; one of his legs was stretched out on the bed, the other bent with a foot resting on the mattress, and the shorts he was wearing were sliding down his propped up thigh. Jude looked away again, blinking fast.
"I'll probably spend all these days gaming," he heard Erling reply. "Alone, since my duo hates me and won't play with me."
Jude let out a quiet little laugh at the drama. "I've already told you what you need to do for me to start playing with you again."
"You don't have any faith in me, do you?" His voice came out a bit hurt and betrayed.
"Not much," Jude agreed, just to add more fuel to the fire. Erling threw a pillow at his back.
The next morning, before Jude left to meet Jobe in the main hall, Erling decided to completely mess up Jude's second-to-last year at the boarding school.
"Be safe on the trip," he said when Jude stopped at the door, backpack on his shoulders and phone in one hand, tangled with the charger. "Good luck with Jobe; try to talk to him."
"Thanks, mate, I'll try," Jude replied, turning his back on him and opening the dorm door.
He was almost out the door when Erling spoke again:
"I'm gonna show you something really nice when you get back."
Jude froze on the doorframe, one foot already outside the dorm. It was like the world suddenly went silent; the only thing Jude could hear was his heart starting to race and blood rushing to his ears. He turned to look at Erling again, very slowly.
"What?" he said, breathless, a nervous laugh escaping him. Erling was standing in the middle of the room, hands behind his back and a huge grin on his lips, the posture of someone ready to misbehave. "What do you mean?"
Erling swayed on his heels and shrugged; his eyes were a striking, bright blue. Jude's heart felt like it was about to jump out of his mouth as they stared at each other in silence.
Jude waited for what felt like an eternity, but Erling didn't say or do anything else besides return the look. What is he talking about? What does that mean? Jude's thoughts seemed to be racing at 200 kilometers per hour. Did he notice something? Did I do something different? What the hell is this?
His scent must have started to get anxious because Erling finally let out a little laugh and took his hands from behind his back, raising them in a 'calm down' gesture.
"You're gonna like it, don't worry," was all he said, which only made Jude more anxious and nervous.
Jude couldn't do anything but swallow hard and nod once, turning to leave the dorm and slowly closing the door behind him. He stood there for several minutes, staring at the dorm door across from theirs, feeling his cheeks get hot and his heart still pounding. What was that? What was Erling talking about? Does he even have any idea what he just said to Jude?
Jude's phone vibrated and snapped him out of the trance he'd fallen into; he blinked a few times and looked at the screen. It was a message from Jobe asking why he was taking so long. He took a deep breath one more time, glanced at his own dorm door, and then headed down the stairs to the main hall. Jobe was standing near the exit with his backpack on, scrolling through his phone and earbuds in his ears; he saw Jude approaching, glared at him in annoyance, then turned and walked out of the hall.
Normally Jude would've been mad at that attitude, but after what Erling did to him in the dorm, any emotion other than shock had been pushed to the background.
On the bus ride, Jude had his headphones on but wasn't listening to anything; Jobe was leaning against the window while Jude sat in the aisle seat, staring at a fixed spot on the floor, his right leg bouncing up and down anxiously. He couldn't stop thinking about what had happened at the school; the way Erling looked at him, that smile, his hands behind his back, and the way the red t-shirt draped over his shoulders. What did he want to show him?
He couldn't stop his mind from wandering, imagining everything from the most innocent stuff to the complete opposite. A mix of fear and anticipation started bubbling in Jude's stomach, and he began biting his thumbnail; maybe he should've stayed at the boarding school.
"What's your problem?" Jobe interrupted his thoughts; Jude jumped a bit and turned to look at his face. He was holding one of the earbuds, frowning.
"What?" Jude replied, confused.
Jobe looked down at Jude's leg. "Stop that. And why do you smell like that?"
He blinked a few times. Like what? Jude felt himself go pale; he didn’t smell turned on, did he? He sniffed a few times, trying to tell, and finally decided to get up to reach his backpack on the rack above them, searching the pockets for the scent patches he was sure he'd packed; he knew he wouldn't be able to stop thinking about Erling, and he'd rather die than let his little brother smell what was going on inside his head.
Jobe kept staring as Jude sat back down and put the scent patches on, first on his wrists and then on his neck. When Jude finished, he shook his head.
"You're weird," he grumbled, but he didn't put the earbud back in. Jude saw the opportunity.
"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked, in the most neutral tone he could manage.
Jobe looked at him again with one eyebrow raised. "About your weirdness? No, thanks."
Jude huffed. "About Mom and Dad."
Jobe looked out the bus window again, his jaw tightening as Jude watched his profile.
"No," he said, short and sharp.
Jude considered letting it go and keeping to himself, but Jobe still didn't have his earbuds in, and Jude knew he wouldn't open up on his own; he was always the kind of kid who preferred to keep things inside and cry desperately later when he couldn't take it anymore, and Jude was always too sentimental to watch him suffer alone.
"You can be mad, it's fine, and I'm not gonna say you're wrong, but I want to understand what you're feeling," he said carefully, running his hand over the scent patch again with apprehension; should he take it off? "I was upset when I found out too."
Jobe let out an ironic laugh. "You? Upset?" He turned to look at Jude's face again, blinking rapidly. "Doesn't look like it. Actually, it looks like you don't even care about our family."
Jude raised his eyebrows, genuinely shocked. "Why do you think I don't care?"
"You're acting like nothing happened, like Dad didn't leave, and like isn’t been weeks since we could smell Mom," he let out a shaky sigh and blinked hard; Jude knew he was probably about to start crying, Jobe was just as sensitive and sentimental as him. "She doesn't even take off her patches when I hug her; it's like she's punishing me for something."
Ah, Erling was right. He really thinks it's his fault.
Jude felt his expression soften and put an arm around his shoulders; Jobe let out a low growl but didn't make any more effort to get out of the touch or pull away.
"She's not punishing you for anything," he lowered his voice, leaning closer to Jobe's face; his scent had become very sad and hurt, and he'd looked down at his own lap, his hands fidgeting. Jude decided to take one of the patches off his neck to make Jobe focus on his scent. "She's just upset and sad; she probably thinks showing it would hurt you more."
Jobe sniffled, and Jude pretended not to see a few stray tears fall onto his jeans. "If she's that sad, why are they getting divorced then? Wouldn't it be easier to just stay together?"
Jude stared at his profile, not knowing what to say. The truth was, he had no idea why they were splitting up, hadn't even asked; who wants to know the details of how their parents' marriage failed? Jude would guess it was because the relationship wore down over time, rather than some dramatic reason. His parents had never even marked each other, so part of Jude, when the divorce news broke, thought they hadn't made that choice specifically because of this scenario, since, unlike a marriage, a mating bite was forever.
But he couldn't tell Jobe that; he was already upset enough, and Jude didn't want to make him sadder.
"Jobe—"
"And you're acting like it's no big deal," Jobe interrupted, sniffing more with a shaky voice. "Like you can't hear Mom crying at night, you’re smiling and playing and walking around like our lives haven't changed."
Jude suddenly felt bad. "It's not that I wasn't sad," he started, hesitantly. "But someone needs to stay calm to balance out the panic, right?" He made the little joke carefully, paying close attention to his face; Jobe rolled his eyes again, this time more amused than annoyed, and rubbed his palm over his nose. "You can talk to me if you want, you know that, right? Try talking to Mom too, but carefully. She'd definitely be honest with you."
Jobe didn't answer, and Jude pulled him closer until he was lying with his head on Jude's shoulder; Jobe made some sounds of protest but eventually accepted the position, and Jude pretended not to notice him turning his nose until he managed to get a few good sniffs of Jude's shoulder.
The rest of the trip was quiet, and when they went to meet their mom at the bus station, Jobe had a softer expression and was talking to her when she asked how their month was. Jude's mom looked at him with a look that was as hopeful as it was confused; Jude just smiled and turned his face to his phone; they'd understand each other sooner or later.
Jude managed to hold it in for two days before sending the first text.
His conversation with Erling had very few messages since they were almost always together; the most they sent each other were TikTok and Reels links and photos of class notes they shared. Jude didn't want to look desperate, but he kind of was. He'd spent two of the four days of the autumn break thinking about what Erling had said, what he meant, and why he'd said it that way.
jude
what are you up to?
Erling replied fast; he never took long actually, unless he was in the middle of a match or playing football with some of the school boys.
haaland
just got back to the dorm
was in the library studying a bit
how's it going with jobe?
jude
it's okay
we talked and he opened up a bit
he's still pouting around, but at least he took his earbuds out and is talking to our mom
haaland
he'll get used to the idea soon
does he like football?
jude
yeah why?
haaland
we can play the three of us when you guys get back
you're back on the 31st, right?
jude
yeah
we're leaving in the morning
haaland
you guys taking the bus?
jude
yeah mom can't drive us to school
haaland
damn
at least it's friday
we can play the whole weekend
there's a clash
jude
need 5 people to lock in a clash
even if we call jordan and declan we're still missing a support
and no one wants to play with declan in bot, he's trash
haaland
lmaooooooooo
i'll find a support for us
and forget bot
play for me on top and i'll carry you, baby
jude
give up on that crippled irelia and maybe i will
haaland
:(
what do i gotta do to get you to give me a chance?
Jude stared at the message for several moments before swallowing hard and locking his phone screen. He got up from the couch and headed to the kitchen to find something to drink in the fridge; his mom had bought him some energy drinks, and Jude didn't think twice before grabbing a can and popping it open in a hurry.
He knew that, realistically, Erling didn't have any ulterior motives when he said things like that; he couldn't possibly know that Jude would read that message and feel embarrassed over what his own brain conjured up, nor could he know that Jude had been practically shaking with anxiety for almost two days just because Erling said he'd show him something nice.
Jude downed half the can in one go while staring out the kitchen window; the trees had already lost almost all their leaves, and the day was gray and cloudy. Winter would be starting soon, and he'd only see his mom and dad at Christmas break. He should be spending time with family instead of standing in the middle of the kitchen, almost having a meltdown, thinking terrible things just because a cute alpha — who didn't even know Jude swung that way — had said something a little too suggestive to him.
After finishing the energy drink, Jude crumpled the can and tossed it in the trash before heading back to the living room to flop onto the couch; mustering the courage to open Erling's messages again. He hadn't sent anything else after the last text, and Jude stared at the keyboard for a few moments before deciding to man up and reply to his friend.
jude
i already said just stop playing with that champ
obey me this one time and i'll play for top every game
Erling, as usual, replied almost instantly.
haaland
"obey me" ??
should i call you dad too?
Jude replied with an eye-roll emoji. Erling sent back a ridiculous sticker, and the conversation died for fifteen minutes until Jude took a deep breath and gathered all his courage to ask:
jude
what do you wanna show me?
He started biting his thumbnail while staring at the phone screen, watching as Erling typed.
haaland
it's a surprise
jude
i don't like surprises
haaland
you'll like this one
it's something you've always wanted ;)
Jesus Christ.
Jude felt his cheeks burn and locked his phone screen again, throwing the device to the other end of the couch and covering his face with his hands; his heart was practically jumping out of his ass.
How did he find out? Am I that obvious? If Jude could, he'd dig a hole in the living room floor and bury himself in it right now.
He couldn't talk to Erling for the rest of the break. To be honest, Jude couldn't do anything else after that, and his mom even started looking at him with concern. How did Erling find out? Jude wasn't careless, and he was pretty sure he'd never said anything weird or looked at Erling differently. It made no sense for him to know; it made even less sense for him to say those things.
When he arrived at the boarding school late on the morning of the 31st, he said goodbye to Jobe in the main hall and climbed the three flights of stairs to his own dorm. He stopped in front of the door, mentally preparing himself for practically everything, before grabbing the doorknob and stepping inside.
The dorm was empty, and Jude let out an involuntary sigh of relief. Then, he felt Erling's scent spread through the entire room, and something warm slid down his back. Jude took a deep breath, closing his eyes slightly, letting Erling's scent fill his lungs and take over his whole body. He hadn't even realized he'd missed it — some of the shirts Jude had taken to Birmingham carried the other alpha's scent too, and unconsciously, he'd worn them the whole break. Jude's own scent was faint in the room after being away, so Erling was everywhere in the dorm; every piece of furniture, every fabric, every blanket. The windows were all closed too, so Jude couldn't fight the urge for long.
He dropped his backpack on the floor and flopped onto his bed, legs dangling off the mattress and arms spread out. He didn't know how much time passed like that, lying there with his eyes closed, almost floating out of his body while breathing in Erling's scent; inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly, just him and the sound of his heart beating at his fingertips.
Eventually, the dorm door opened, and Jude lifted his head from the bed, slowly opening his eyes to find Erling standing in the doorway, staring at him with raised eyebrows and an amused expression.
"Tired from the trip?" he asked, stepping fully into the dorm and closing the door behind him.
Jude felt his mouth go dry and nodded as he looked Erling up and down; Erling was wearing a black long-sleeve shirt and dark blue sweatpants, his hair pushed back, and his feet covered in a pair of white socks. He was holding his phone in one hand, and a thin silver bracelet was on the wrist of the other. He smelled like soap and the various fantasies that had plagued Jude's mind during the four days he was away.
Erling walked over to Jude's bed and sat on the mattress beside him, interlacing his fingers in his lap and smiling as he looked down at Jude's face.
Oh my God, what is happening?
"Want to see your surprise now?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.
Jude's eyes went wide. "N-now?"
Erling laughed when Jude stammered and got off the bed, extending a hand for Jude to take.
Jude stared at Erling's hand, his lips slightly parted. His scent was a mix of fear, anxiety, and anticipation. He grabbed Erling's hand, deciding right then and there to start wearing scent patches in the dorm.
The blonde pulled him up with one hand, and Jude had to blink several times, his gaze darting quickly to where Erling's hand still held his, before snapping back to his face in a hurry. What is he going to do to me? Oh my God?
Erling dragged him over to his own desk and sat Jude in the chair, standing behind him and leaning over to grab the mouse, his other hand resting on the wood, his face very close to Jude's.
He did his best to control the scent coming off him while Erling fiddled with the laptop. Jude was so focused on that he didn't even notice what Erling was doing.
"I spent four days on this," Erling said, a little laugh escaping as his eyes sparkled while he stared at the laptop screen. "You'll never doubt me again when I say I can play with any champ in the game, or that I can carry you."
What?
Jude frowned and turned to the laptop screen. Erling had opened the match history of his alt account, and Jude could see he'd won several games and been MVP in most of them, playing only Irelia. He also saw that Erling had managed to climb the account to Emerald rank.
He wanted to show me his League of Legends rank. That was the surprise.
And okay, what did Jude really expect? Seriously. What was going through his head? Did he think Erling was going to make a move? Tell him he knew what Jude liked and that he liked the same thing, and that they should, I don't know, explore it together? Why was Jude disappointed?
Because, yeah, he could feel the disappointment taking over his body and had to struggle to keep it from showing in his scent or body language. Of course it would be something like this; Jude had no idea why he thought it could be anything else.
"You climbed to Emerald in four days," Jude said after clearing his throat, looking away from the laptop to Erling.
"Not just that," he raised a finger and laughed. "I learned to play with a free camera."
Jude raised his eyebrows. "That actually shocks me."
"Who knew you knew what you were talking about, huh?" He tilted his head and shoved his hands into his pants pockets. "I obeyed you and did what you said, right? Now it's your turn."
Jude's eyes went wide. "My turn for what?"
"You said you'd play for me if I could carry, and I can. Focus on me, and I'll get you to Grandmaster in a week."
"Oh," Jude relaxed in the chair. "Sure, that works."
Erling stared at him with a confused expression for a few moments. "What's that look?" He laughed. "What did you think it was?"
Yeah, Jude, what did you think it was?
"Nothing," Jude let out a nervous little laugh, trying to hide it. "I'm just kinda tired from the trip and I'm not a huge fan of surprises, that's all."
Erling seemed to believe him, and they quickly changed the subject. After Jude's heart calmed down and the meaningless disappointment passed, he realized how much he'd missed talking to Erling about anything, how easy it was to talk to him and feel comfortable, even though they'd only become friends a month ago.
Jude decided he was going to tell him. Someday.
The day came sooner than Jude expected. Much sooner, actually.
November 5th was cold and drizzling. Jude woke up to the sound of rain tapping against the window, almost thirty minutes before his alarm went off. He even thought about going back to sleep, but his full bladder made the choice for him before he could.
He got out of bed and stretched, grunting softly while staring at Erling's bed. The blonde was sleeping on his stomach, face turned toward the wall, one foot dangling off the side — he was just too big for the bed, so whenever he stretched out fully, some body part always ended up hanging off. Erling never slept in a shirt either, so Jude could see his back rising and falling softly as he breathed, smooth skin dotted with a few freckles. Jude stared until he started feeling warmer than he should, then averted his gaze, grabbed his toiletry bag and toothbrush from the dresser, and headed to the communal bathroom.
The bathroom was empty, and Jude let out a satisfied sigh; maybe he should wake up this early every day. He did what he had to do, fixed his hair, then went back to the room to put on his uniform. Erling was still asleep in the same position. When Jude was finally ready, his alarm and Erling's went off at the exact same time.
Erling grunted and slapped his desk until he found his phone and shut off the alarm. Jude watched with a smirk as the blonde rubbed his face into the pillow and turned to look at Jude standing in the middle of the dorm, his eyes heavy with sleep.
"Why are you already dressed?" he asked, his voice rough with sleep.
"Woke up early," Jude shrugged. "If you're going to shower, I'd recommend going now before the showers and bathrooms get packed."
Erling grunted again and made a big show of it before getting out of bed. Jude watched in silence as he walked around the room grabbing his own towel and hygiene products, his sweatpants sliding down his hips and bare feet padding out of the dorm and closing the door.
Jude clenched his fists, staring at his messy bed, shifting his weight from one leg to the other and squeezing his hands into fists. He took two hesitant steps and sat on Erling's mattress, reaching out his right hand and touching the tip of his fingers to the pillow. Jude lowered himself slowly, his heart beating so fast and hard it almost felt like it could be heard in the dorm. He pressed the tip of his nose against the pillow.
A shaky breath escaped his lips, and he swallowed hard before pressing his face against it, inhaling deeply. Erling's scent. It was a mix of the expensive shampoo he used and his natural scent, and Jude felt his shoulders relax as he breathed, his chest starting to vibrate with a low rumble. It had been so long since he'd heard that kind of sound come from himself, since he was Jobe's age and would lie with his face against his mom's chest. The feeling of being safe, belonging to someone, and owning them back.
At that moment, Jude finally understood when Declan and Jordan talked about omegas, their eyes shining and cheeks turning red. At that moment, he wasn't so different from his friends; he understood desire, fantasizing, and wanting to hold someone in his arms. He understood anticipation, anxiety, and that intense urge that left you breathless. At that moment, he was just another seventeen-year-old alpha experiencing these feelings for the first time.
He suddenly realized what he was doing and scrambled off the bed, his gaze darting to the dorm door. He almost melted with relief seeing it was still properly closed. Jude ran his hands over his face and let out a grunt, then opened his desk drawer to grab the scent patches. He'd forgotten to put some on his thigh glands before getting dressed, so for today, the ones on his wrists and neck would just have to be enough.
Not even a minute after Jude finished putting on the patches, the dorm door swung open.
"Let me tell you, the guy in 342 was more irritated than usual today," Erling barely made it inside before launching into the gossip. "He must be getting close to his first rut because I swear he growled super loud at me when I walked past him."
Jude let out a little laugh and turned to him, ready to agree, but then he saw that Erling had once again forgotten to bring his clothes to change in the bathroom and was standing there in just a towel. The fabric was tied so loosely that Jude thought it was going to fall off every time he took a step. His chest and shoulders were red from the hot water, his wet hair dripping onto the carpet and down his neck. The curve of his waist made Jude's mouth water.
He could only look away when Erling grabbed the hem of the towel.
"Why don't you take your clothes to the bathroom to change?" Jude scolded, clicking his tongue and feeling his cheeks heat up as he turned his back on him.
"Between showing my dick to you and showing it to twenty other guys, I choose you always," Erling replied.
Oh my God, shut up. Jude's cheeks burned even hotter. You don't even know what the fuck you’re saying.
Erling finished getting dressed, and the two headed to class together. This was one of the few classes where they didn't sit near each other; Erling sat more toward the front, and Jude sat toward the back. It was a small victory, because at least Jude could look at him without any obstacles.
He didn't know how to tie a tie, and Jude had noticed that right from the start; it was always crooked, too loose, or sometimes even backward. Erling also thought the blazer was optional, no matter how many scoldings the monitors gave him for it in the school hallways; the white shirt was never tucked in properly, and he always ended the day with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He had no idea what he did to Jude’s head.
Jude didn't care about what was happening in class at all. His eyes were fixed on Erling: the way he held his pen, how his blonde hair fell over his ears; how the white shirt stretched over his shoulders, the tip of the scent patch peeking out over the crumpled collar. The way the uniform pants draped over his legs and the blue veins showing on his forearm, because he was so pale you could see them. Erling's scent was still swirling in Jude's mind, so strong and intense that Jude could almost feel it in his throat, could almost taste it, feel the heat.
Erling turned toward him and caught Jude staring. The two locked eyes, not looking away for a few moments; the classroom suddenly felt empty and silent, the moment stretching out for what felt like a lifetime. Hearts racing, hands sweaty. Slowly, a smile spread across Erling's lips; beautiful, tempting.
Jude wasn't religious, but in that moment, he even started praying.
Let me get what I want, just this once. Let me get this boy for myself.
Today's training session was moved indoors because of the rain. Training and games were some of the only times Jude could turn off his brain without any trouble; he loved football, loved playing, and loved winning even more. Even though he'd thought games would be difficult with Erling on the team, Jude was pleasantly surprised to find he was wrong; Erling had a natural talent with the ball that was downright jealous-worthy. He was fast and could intimidate even his own teammates.
Jude liked playing next to him, especially because it was one of the few times he could touch Erling without it being weird. He could jump into his lap, pull him by the waist, bury his face in his neck, feel his hands on his legs and thighs, and listen to his heavy, ragged breathing. All under the excuse of celebrating a goal or a win. Erling didn't hold back on the touches either, and Jude would always go to sleep after the training or matches with his heart racing, swearing he could still feel Erling's hands on his body.
While training and matches became easier and more fun with Erling around, the locker rooms turned into hell on earth.
The locker room smell was strong — a mix of a bunch of sweaty alphas talking loud, in various stages of undress. Jude didn't have a problem with the scent; he'd gotten used to it by his second year at the boarding school. But things always got more heated in those moments; it was way too easy for a conversation or a joke to escalate into a fight or a competition over who could growl the loudest.
Jude was sitting on the locker room bench, his jersey tossed somewhere in a corner, as he peeled the scent patches off his neck and listened to the other guys' plans for the weekend. They were planning to head to the city center and spend money on food, drinks, and games. If Declan, Jordan, and Erling went, Jude would probably go too. Maybe he'd even bring Jobe — a friendly overture and an attempt to patch up the rift that had opened between them.
"You guys don't get it," Djed said louder than everyone else, stepping closer and sitting down next to Jude on the bench. "We have to bring Jude; he has the biggest allowance on the whole team. He's footing the bill." He laughed and threw an arm around Jude's shoulders.
The noise level went up; everyone seemed to agree with the idea of taking advantage of Jude's wallet. Jude rolled his eyes, laughing along.
"Haaland's dad is a football player," he replied, pointing a finger toward Erling but still looking at Djed's face. "He's got more money than everyone here combined. Go bleed his wallet dry."
"Ex-player!" Erling shouted as most of the team swarmed him to demand money or ask for a loan.
Jude watched the scene laughing. Erling had even climbed onto the bench to dodge the Spanish Inquisition going on around him, eyes wide and hands raised. He was shirtless, wearing only his uniform shorts and knee-high socks, his blonde hair a bit damp with sweat.
"You're coming with us, right?" Djed asked, leaning closer to Jude's ear to whisper. "I've got a friend who wants to meet you."
Jude turned to him with a smirk. "A friend?" He raised an eyebrow, a playful look on his face.
Djed grinned the same way. "You like guys, right? He's cool, a cute omega who loves the same video games as you."
"And why are you talking about me to your friends?"
Djed shrugged. "He saw you in a photo I posted on Instagram; he got interested."
Jude let out another little laugh and shook his head. "I don't know, mate. Not in the mood for anything right now."
"Nobody said you had to date him," Djed rolled his eyes. "You always act like this when I try to set you up. I'm starting to think you don't like omegas."
He laughed, and Jude joined in, like the idea was just absurd. You have no idea, Djed.
"If it's not for the omegas, let's go for the good food," he continued, and Jude nodded, putting a hand on his thigh and giving it a few pats.
"I know exactly what 'good food' you're interested in, Spence," Jude raised his eyebrows.
Djed slapped the back of his head, grumbling and rolling his eyes. Jude laughed and couldn't help but let his eyes run over Djed's back and ass as he stood up from the bench. Before Erling showed up, Djed was the only alpha Jude found interesting on the whole team; he was the only one Jude stole discreet glances at and felt shy around when they touched too much. Jude still thought he was cute, and his scent was definitely good too, but right now, Erling had taken up most of the space in Jude's mind reserved for that kind of interest and attraction.
Jude finally stopped looking and, almost automatically, searched for Erling again in the locker room. To his surprise, Erling was already staring back; head tilted, eyes curious, expression blank, looking at Jude almost without blinking. Jude's heart skipped a beat and he swallowed hard. Did he see me talking to Djed? Did he see me staring too much?
He looked away from Erling, stood up from the bench, and headed for the showers, trying not to feel anxious. So what if Erling saw? It wasn't exactly a secret what Jude liked; it's just that nobody had stopped to ask. He would answer honestly if they had asked. Maybe.
Erling didn't mention anything while the two headed back to the dorm. He didn't say anything while they played a few games together, or even when they lay down in their own beds, scrolling through their phones in the dark. Jude even thought he wasn't going to say anything, but then he heard Erling's phone go silent and practically felt the other alpha staring at him.
"What?" He looked away from his phone and turned his head to Erling.
Erling was lying on his side, head propped up on his arm, looking at Jude's face with wide, round eyes.
"Djed asked me to convince you to meet his friend," he said, an amused smile on his lips.
Jude huffed. "I'm not in the mood to meet any omegas."
"Why not? You don't like boys?"
Jude felt his cheeks get hot. "I do."
Erling nodded, licking his lips, still not looking away from Jude. "I like them too." Suddenly, Jude's mouth went completely dry; he forced himself to blink and looked back at his phone screen. "Is there anyone waiting for you in Birmingham?"
Jude shook his head. "No one, I'm just not interested."
Erling stared at him in silence for a few moments. Jude started getting anxious as he held the gaze.
"Djed showed me a picture of him," he commented. "He's cute, short. I think you'd make a cute couple."
"You're picturing me with a short omega under my arm, Haaland?" Jude laughed, a bit nervously, making the joke to try and dissipate the tension. Erling didn't laugh along, but shrugged, a small smile spreading across his lips. Jude shook his head. "Not my type, sorry."
"And what is your type?"
Jude snorted and dropped his phone onto his chest. "I don't know."
They fell silent again, and Jude could almost hear the tension crackling in the air. The conversation was getting strange and a bit dangerous; he was running out of excuses for why he wasn't interested. For better or worse, Erling didn't let him marinate in the anxiety for long.
"You don't like omegas, do you?" His voice came out low and deep; he didn't even blink while staring at Jude's face.
Jude stared back, his mouth drier than a desert as the silence stretched on. He even thought about denying it, about making up some excuse, saying he lied and actually had someone waiting for him in Birmingham; but honestly, it was better to rip the band-aid off all at once.
"No," he finally admitted, for the first time saying it out loud.
Jude could feel the tension in the air rise, so strong and thick you could cut it with a knife. Erling didn't react, just kept staring at Jude without moving in the bed.
"Not betas either," he finally said. It wasn't a question, but Jude nodded anyway. Erling licked his lips. "So what do you like?"
"How many options are left, Erling?" He shook his head.
"I want to hear you say it."
Jude's heart skipped a beat, and he felt something cold take over his stomach. Why? Jude thought, almost desperate. Why do you want to hear me say it?
"Alphas," he said, almost a whisper, his heart pounding in his ears. "I like alphas."
Erling didn't react, and Jude didn't know what was worse: the silence and lack of expression, or hearing some disgusted exclamation or unfunny joke. He waited, almost holding his breath, for anything; he stared at Erling's face with total attention, looking for any movement that indicated what he was thinking, what he thought of Jude, if he was disgusted or interested, but the other alpha didn't move.
"Is that a problem?" Jude asked, wanting to vanish into thin air.
Erling shook his head. "Nope," he said. Jude felt some of the weight on his chest disappear. He waited and saw the smile on Erling's lips grow bigger, more mischievous. "This must be paradise for you, then."
Jude frowned. "What do you mean?"
"Locked in a boarding school all year with only other alphas?" He shook his head, his eyes shining even in the dark of the room. "It's either paradise for you, or torture. Looking without being able to touch..."
Jude shifted in the bed, feeling himself get hot. "It's more the second option, actually," he said, laughing nervously.
"Yeah? Never kissed one?"
Where is this conversation going?
"No."
"Never? Not even back home?"
"No," he repeated. Erling nodded and stayed silent for a few moments. "And you?"
"I've never kissed an alpha," he replied, his tone playful and a little laugh escaping.
Jude rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I figured."
"But if you're talking about omegas," he continued; Jude got a bit tense. "I've dated two."
Jude looked away at the ceiling, taking a deep breath. Of course Erling had dated omegas; Jude didn't even know why he was surprised and feeling... this.
"Just kissed?" He asked anyway, not even sure if he really wanted to hear the answer.
Erling stayed silent for a while, and Jude found it strange; he looked back at the other alpha's face and saw him blush for the first time that night.
"Kisses and a few other things," he murmured, squeezing the blanket between his fingers and looking away. "But if you're asking about anything else, I... hm, I'm still... you know, a virgin."
"Oh," Jude licked his lips, looking at him. "Me too," he said, just because he thought he should share the info too.
Erling looked up at Jude's face again. "Yeah? Have you had your first rut yet?"
Jude shook his head. "No. And you?"
"Me neither."
Of course not, he and Erling were the same age; Jude didn't even know why he asked. Maybe he just wanted to hear Erling say it out loud too. They stared at each other in silence for several minutes.
"I don't mind that you like alphas," Erling finally said. "Not at all."
Jude nodded but couldn't say anything. He should have felt relieved to finally say it out loud and not lose a friend, but the feeling taking over his body was something else: warmer, more desperate, waiting for something. Anticipation.
Erling smiled again before lying back down on the bed and going back to his phone. Jude took a long time to fall asleep that night, his heart beating very hard and his breathing coming out a bit ragged.
The tension finally broke a week before the Christmas break, on December 15th.
The rest of November passed for Jude in a way that felt almost slow and torturous. After the conversation with Erling, things changed in a subtle way that made Jude feel like he was vibrating inside his own skin. Erling didn't pull away or change how he treated Jude; he still left his scent on Jude whenever he could, maintained the same level of physical contact, and still sat next to him in every class he could.
Jude should have been relieved to have confirmation that their friendship was stronger than the awkwardness of seeing an alpha who liked other alphas, but the feeling dominating him was frustration and near-desperation.
Because yeah, Erling still touched him and treated him like before, but that was exactly the problem: Erling still touched him. He still hugged him by the shoulders in the school hallways, still picked him up during practices and games, still pulled him close by the wrist, bent down to speak in his ear, and looked him right in the eyes every time they talked. It wasn't that big of a deal before, but now it had become almost unbearable.
Even more unbearable was the fact that Erling now knew Jude didn't see every touch as platonic, but he certainly didn't know that his touches, specifically, affected Jude in a way no one else's did. Jude wasn't going to tell him — knowing your friend likes other alphas was one thing, but knowing that said friend looked at you with less-than-noble intentions, imagining you doing and saying things that would make anyone with a shred of modesty blush, was another.
The conversations between the two had also evolved to a new level now that Erling knew Jude's preferences: a level so suggestive it bordered on sexual.
Not that Jude had never talked about sex with anyone before, or that he'd never heard others talking dirty around him; the difference was that before, Jude couldn't really jump into the conversation or get carried away since no one knew what kind of dirty talk interested him — he could only pretend to be interested up to a point when Declan and Jordan brought it up. After Erling joined their group, those kinds of conversations started going on a bit longer, because the blonde had no shame or shyness when talking about that stuff, but Jude could usually just tune out his own mind and drift off to another plane of existence when the topic came up.
Now that Erling knew what Jude liked, he had no shame asking the most uncomfortable questions in the world. Jude wouldn't mind answering, really; the problem was that he was a virgin who had never even kissed anyone, so he didn't even know what to say when Erling brought that up.
They had just finished training, and Jude was sitting on the stands, breathing hard and drinking from a water bottle when Erling sat down next to him. It was pretty cold, but at least it hadn't rained today, so practice happened on the field as usual. Their next game was a week away, the second-to-last one before the Christmas break.
"You were bossier than usual today," was the first thing Erling said when he sat down next to Jude.
Jude huffed and shook his head before looking at Erling. He was wearing a long-sleeved shirt under the team jersey, his knees were a bit red, as were his cheeks and the tip of his nose, and he was a bit sweaty despite the cold.
"I'm not bossy," Jude grumbled.
Erling let out a little snort of a laugh. "You are. You love bossing me around."
"When have I ever been bossy with you?"
"You love dictating what I have to do when we play League, you love dictating what I have to do when we play football, you love complaining about how I clean the dorm," he listed the points, even holding up his fingers to illustrate. "You're bossy and have a nasty habit of growling and pouting when others don't do what you say."
Jude rolled his eyes. "If I don't tell you what to do in games, you act like you're the only one who knows how to play football or League. And I've already said that shoving clothes into a drawer isn't the same as putting them away. I thought you were more organized than that," he said; Erling looked at him with a smirk. "And I don't growl at anyone."
"You do growl," Erling sat more comfortably on the stand, spreading his legs wider and resting his elbow on the back of the bench, head in his hand while still looking at Jude with the same smile. Jude made a Herculean effort not to look at his legs. "You growled at Djed during training when he didn't make a pass; I thought you two were going to fight. If that's how you treat the guy you have a crush on, imagine the others."
Jude's jaw dropped in shock. "Who said I have a crush on Djed?"
"And you don't?" Erling laughed. "I saw the way you looked at him that day in the locker room."
Jude felt his cheeks heat up and looked around, just to make sure no one was too close to overhear.
"I don't," he mumbled, shy. "It's normal to look."
Erling didn't answer, and even though Jude wasn't looking at the other alpha, he could feel Erling's gaze burning into his face. They stayed silent for a few minutes, Jude's gaze fixed on the other boys leaving the field and heading toward the locker room.
"What do you like about him?" Erling finally asked, his voice lower; Jude felt immediately that the mood between them started to change.
"What do you mean?" He played dumb.
"What do you like about him. What attracts you, what makes you look."
Jude swallowed hard and looked away at the water bottle in his hands, shrugging.
"I don't know," he said. "He's cute. Tall too."
"And what else?"
Jude finally looked back at Erling's face. The other alpha was staring at him with wide, round eyes, the cold wind making some strands of his hair sway.
"He's cool, too. Easy to talk to. A bit stubborn, but in an engaging and fun way."
Erling nodded, as if he understood what Jude meant. They stared at each other while the blonde licked his lips. "So that's your type, then? A tall, stubborn alpha who's going to give you a hard time and make you frustrated."
Jude shifted on the bench and scratched his ear with one hand. "I guess so."
"Is that why you like alphas?" He seemed to have moved closer, spreading his legs even wider on the bench and tilting his head more. "You like the fight? An omega would probably listen to you without questioning too much, but that wouldn't be fun to you, right? You want an alpha to make you work for it."
Jesus. What kind of bizarre conversation was this?
"What is this, a psychoanalysis session?" Jude laughed nervously, trying to change the subject. "Why all this interest in what turns me on? Are you gay?"
"Yeah," Erling laughed, his eyes shining. "And I'm just curious."
Jude shook his head and didn't say anything else, his heart beating fast. This was what he meant when he said Erling had a dirty mouth and an overly active imagination. It was fine when he wanted to talk about those things with Declan and Jordan, but it was different somehow when he talked about it with Jude; there was a different kind of tension in the air that Jude had to struggle to ignore.
Erling stood up from the stands and stretched out fully, grunting and sighing as his back popped. He and Jude locked eyes for a few moments until Erling moved, standing right in front of him, extending a hand.
Jude stared at Erling's hand with hesitation before finally grabbing it and letting the other alpha pull him up. Jude felt his heart race even more when he tried to pull his hand back and Erling held on tighter.
"And what about me?" he asked softly, looking down at Jude's face.
Jude blinked rapidly. "What about you?"
"I'm taller than Djed," he smirked, a stray strand of golden hair stuck to his red cheek. "I'm more stubborn too, and I give you more of a hard time. Am I not your type?"
Shit.
Jude didn't know what to say, and suddenly he'd forgotten how to breathe. Erling kept staring at him with that same expression, and Jude felt like laughing out of sheer desperation. What does this mean? Why do you care if you are my type or not?
The silence must have stretched on longer than usual, because Erling laughed, let go of his hand, and stepped back.
"I'm messing with you, mate, relax," he shook his head and turned to head toward the locker room. "Don't take too long or you'll miss dinner."
Another weird interaction, later that same week, happened during the game.
They were tied with another school since the first half, and Jude was starting to get impatient. Even though he didn't like admitting it, Erling was right when he said Jude was bossy and got irritated when others didn't do what he told them. Jude was pissed, mostly at Declan, because he kept pushing too far up for the attack and leaving a hole in the midfield — a hole Jude had to struggle to fill.
The equalizing goal they conceded happened exactly because of that: Declan was way up front when the counter-attack came, and Jude alone couldn't stop it.
"What the fuck were you doing up there?!" Jude shouted at him as the goal went in and the other team gathered to celebrate. "That's not your spot!"
Declan's eyes went wide at the tone, but he quickly narrowed them and huffed. "Someone has to push up for the attack, Bellingham!"
"And that someone isn't you," he got right up in Declan's face, almost nose-to-nose, speaking through gritted teeth. "Haaland's already up there; do your fucking job right."
Declan growled low at him, and Jude felt the blood rush to his head, genuinely pissed off. He was probably about to do something stupid, like shove Declan or worse, but then someone grabbed him firmly by the back of the neck, pulling him away. Jude got even angrier and tried to break free, but the grip was too strong; he looked up and saw it was Erling holding him, pulling him back so the game could restart.
"Calm the fuck down," the blonde murmured low, close to his ear. "I'm gonna win this game for you."
Erling shoved Jude forward by the neck before he could respond or say anything. Jude wanted to go at him, to prove Jordan right when he said that between alphas the only acceptable thing was trading punches, but then the game restarted and he had to focus on more important things. He was still boiling with rage as he waited for Erling to keep his promise.
Jude managed to intercept the ball in midfield and took off running; he looked around, thought about passing it forward to the box, but Erling was offside and the play would be wasted. Out of the corner of his eye, Jude saw Djed on the left, unmarked and in a good position. He passed the ball to Djed and shouted for Erling to drop back a bit.
Erling obeyed, and Jude had to hold himself back from pushing forward more; Declan was out of his fucking position again, and Jude knew he'd have to work some miracle in this midfield if their attack didn't work. Djed managed to carry the ball down the wing near the box, looked quickly to the side, and saw Erling standing right there; Jude watched the cross with his heart almost jumping out of his mouth.
Erling kicked the ball without hesitation, without thinking, aggressive like every striker had to be; the impact was so hard Jude could swear he heard the sound of the kick, the goalie didn't even have time to think.
The stands exploded in noise, but Jude seemed to be watching everything in slow motion. He saw the exact moment a huge smile spread across Erling's lips, saw him turn toward him, blonde hair swaying and cheeks very red, eyes huge and fixed on Jude's face, arms open and running toward him.
Everything snapped back to normal speed when Erling wrapped his arms around Jude's thighs, lifting him off the ground and spinning on the grass; they collided with a lot of force and Erling lost his balance, the two of them hitting the ground hard, the blonde landing on top of Jude and knocking all the air out of his lungs. Jude let out a groan of pain as Erling rubbed his face against his neck, right over the scent patch.
"I fucking told you," Erling said in his ear, before pulling his face away from Jude's neck to look him in the eyes; they were pressed together from the hips down, legs tangled, and Erling propped one hand on the grass and grabbed Jude's cheeks with the other. "That one was for you, baby. Never forget I'm the only one who can give you what you want."
Shit. Jude didn't even have time to say anything; the other boys arrived shortly after to celebrate too, but his and Erling's eyes stayed locked on each other even with a bunch of people jumping on top of them and screaming. Jude could still feel Erling's hips pressed against his and the heat radiating from his skin, despite the cold; he could still feel Erling's lips almost against his ear and still hear the echo of the words. Jude was so turned on he couldn't think.
The vibe in the locker room was all celebration and partying; everyone was cheering, and they even lifted Erling onto their shoulders while he laughed and bowed. Jude wanted to join in the celebration, for real, but what had happened on the pitch wouldn't stop looping in his head. The other boys thought he was distant because of what went down with Declan, but every time Jude locked eyes with Erling, he could see that little smirk on his lips — he knew exactly what he'd done.
Jude tried not to get mad, but it was impossible. Erling hadn't lied when he said he gave Jude more of a hard time than any other alpha, and now he seemed to have found another way to torment him. It wasn't funny at all, and if it were anyone else, Jude would've already started a fight — not that he was violent, but he admitted he was impatient and quick to anger; his fuse had always been short, and as he'd said, he was sentimental. In every sense.
And what made him even angrier was that he couldn't stay mad at Erling; he couldn't keep up that irritated expression or that spicy scent when he looked at the other alpha's cute face. That was the most frustrating part of all.
He showered in the locker room with his eyes closed and made sure to put scent patches on every possible spot on his body; he didn't trust himself not to think about what Erling had done and get turned on again, especially since he couldn't just jerk off to get it out of his system, not when he didn't sleep alone and there was no way to hide the scent of what he did.
Most of Jude's November passed like this, in this mental torture. Erling had made it his life's mission to torment Jude in every way he could; he touched too much, looked too much, and said too much shit. Everything sounded suggestive to Jude's desperate ears — every "good morning," every "what do you want to do tonight?", every "why are you sitting so far from me?".
Every touch, every look, every hug and smile; it all lit a fire inside him that threatened to turn into an inferno with the slightest provocation. It was making him climb the walls, stay under the showers longer, and risk hypothermia from all the cold showers he'd been taking lately. Jude was suffering so much he could barely wait for the Christmas break, just because he'd be spending two weeks away from Erling and would probably be able to jerk off until his dick fell off.
Jude had never felt this before, even after discovering he liked alphas. Never felt this desperation, this urge burning him from the inside out, this thirst that couldn't be quenched. And he hated himself for it; he hated that all his plans and the control he had over his own life had slipped through his fingers so easily, all because of a boy who didn't get the concept of personal space.
And then December 15th arrived.
Jude woke up that morning with a strange feeling in his chest; you could call it a sixth sense, but he was sure something was going to happen today. He and Erling got ready for class as usual, complaining about exams and assignments as if things were normal between them, as if it hadn't been weeks since Jude started wearing scent patches inside the dorm, to the point where his own scent had almost completely vanished from the room.
He'd turned and walked toward the door when Erling put a hand on the wood, stopping Jude from opening it. Jude's heart did a flip-flop in his chest; he could feel Erling standing behind him, too close and definitely full of intentions of making Jude freak out for the rest of the day.
"We're watching a movie tonight," he said, his voice normal, like their position meant nothing special. "There's a horror movie I'm in the mood to see."
Terrible idea, Jude thought, staring at his big hand resting on the door. Absolutely terrible. This is not going to end well.
But even though his common sense was screaming at him to say no and use his upper head for once in his life, Jude still agreed and said sure, they could watch whatever movie Erling wanted. He wasn't the biggest horror movie fan in the world, but there was no way he could say no to Erling.
Jude spent the whole day bouncing his leg up and down, anxious about what was going to happen at night. It's just a movie, he tried telling himself. It's nothing big, nothing's going to happen, calm down.
When classes ended, they walked back to the dorm side by side. Jude said he was going to take a shower, and Erling agreed, saying he'd organize the dorm for their movie night; Jude didn't know what needed organizing, but decided not to ask too much. He grabbed his towel, a sweatpant, and a long-sleeved shirt and headed for the bathroom. He really tried not to build up expectations or feel so much anticipation, but it was practically impossible.
He finished his shower and put on the scent patches — on his wrists, neck, and thighs. He was guessing he and Erling were going to be too close during this shenanigan, and he didn't want to risk him sensing anything weird in the air. He was so nervous he actually stopped at the dorm door and did a breathing exercise before finally opening it and stepping inside.
Erling had taken the mattresses and laid them on the floor between the two beds, with both sets of blankets and pillows mixed together, and a bunch of snacks and energy drinks on the desks. Jude stared at the scene with his lips slightly parted.
"What?" Erling asked when he saw him staring, one eyebrow raised and a smirk on his lips. "We're both too big for one bed. Trust me, you'll see it's more comfortable this way."
Jude didn't doubt it would be more comfortable; the problem was something else entirely.
It looks like a nest. It looks like you made a nest for the two of us.
He decided not to say anything and just accepted that this would be another night of intense torture. Erling decided it was his turn to shower, and Jude watched with a mix of relief and a tiny bit of disappointment that this time he'd actually grabbed some clothes to take to the bathroom.
Jude waited for him to return, sitting on the mattresses with his legs crossed, leaning against Erling's bed while he bit his nails. Through the window, the sky had already darkened and a fine rain had started to fall; he tried to focus on the sound of the drops hitting the glass so he wouldn't think about the situation he was in.
What were the chances of anything actually happening? Jude wasn't delusional, but he wasn't blind or an idiot either — Erling had definitely been treating him differently ever since he found out Jude wasn't into omegas. There was genuine curiosity, and then there was testing the waters, and whatever Erling had been doing lately looked a lot more like testing the waters than anything innocent. That was the part that got to him the most: what exactly was he looking for? What did he think he was gonna get by treating Jude like that? Watching Jude's interactions with the other boys at the boarding school like a hawk, making sure to be around all the time, asking that kind of question. It was flirting, Jude knew that much; the only question now was whether it was genuine flirting or just some sadistic way of killing time.
Erling came back about twenty minutes later, wearing sweatpants and a school t-shirt, his hair damp. He smelled like shampoo and paradise, and Jude felt like melting into the blankets and pillows.
He grabbed his laptop, turned off the room lights, and sat down next to Jude, searching for the movie he wanted on some streaming service.
"What movie are we watching?" Jude asked, leaning in closer to look at the laptop screen.
"The Conjuring 4," Erling replied, finding the movie and turning up the volume. "You're going to like it."
Jude doubted it, since he hadn't seen the other three movies, but he didn't say anything. He tried to focus on the movie for the first twenty minutes; it had something to do with a cursed mirror and someone's daughter, but Jude had no idea who those characters were or why he should care. They were both almost lying down on the mattresses, their backs propped against the pillows leaning on Erling's bed, the laptop on the blonde's lap.
Jude's effort to understand the movie lasted until Erling moved closer, pressing his thigh against Jude's and draping an arm over his shoulders. Jude tensed up and looked away from the screen to his face; Erling was watching the movie intently, raising his eyebrows and letting out a few exclamations with every line and bad jump scare that appeared. Jude's heart started pounding hard.
He wondered if he should be doing this, if he should pull away and break the tension building between them. But then he realized he wanted it; a lot. He wanted to be like this, with the side of his body completely pressed against Erling's, feeling the heat of his body and almost drowning in the wonderful scent he had. Why deny it? Why pull away? When would another opportunity like this ever come up again? Jude sighed and relaxed under his arm, tilting his head until it rested on the other alpha's shoulder. He pretended not to see a curve appear on Erling's lips while he kept watching the movie.
Erling's hand moved closer to Jude's neck, his thumb lightly stroking the scent patch, subtle yet not so subtle at the same time. Jude shivered and stared at the screen without really seeing what was happening.
"Take this off," Erling whispered, still stroking the scent patch; his voice soft and deep.
Jude swallowed hard and lifted his head from his shoulder, looking at Erling, who had also turned to face him.
"Why?" he asked, his voice rough.
"I want to smell you. I've missed your scent."
Jude let out another shaky sigh and said nothing more. Erling stared into his eyes for a few moments before starting to gently pull at the edge of the scent patch; when Jude didn't protest, he pulled harder and carefully peeled the patch off until it came free.
Jude's scent slowly began to fill the room, warm and obviously interested. He saw Erling close his eyes slightly and take a deep breath before bringing his other hand to the other side of Jude's neck and removing the patch there too. He crumpled both of them and tossed them somewhere in the room, his eyes dropping to the curve of Jude's neck as his pupils dilated.
Erling looked into his eyes for a few seconds before going back to watching the movie, moving closer than before, the hand that had been caressing Jude's neck moving up into his hair.
If this is your way of killing time, congratulations, Erling Haaland. You're more sadistic than any psychopath I've ever seen.
Maybe it's divine punishment for Jude stepping outside the natural order and liking alphas; or maybe it's a gift, too. Either Erling was born in the deepest parts of Hell — perfectly crafted to torment Jude's life and torture him in ways no one else could — or he was one of God's favorite creations. Whether born in Hell or Heaven sent, it didn't matter which, Jude wanted him. More than he'd ever wanted anything in his life. He finally understood what it meant to desire someone to the point where you can't breathe, and finally understood why some people go to such lengths to mark each other for the rest of their lives.
Jude also forced himself to focus on the movie, his hands moving under the blankets until he managed to place one on Erling's thigh, hesitant at first but then firmer when he saw the other alpha let out a sigh. Jude's scent started to smell turned on.
There’s no turning back now.
The tension rose as they both pretended not to know what was happening; Erling's hand stroking Jude's hair while he breathed heavily. Jude bit his lip when he sensed in the air that Erling was getting turned on too; squeezing his thigh lightly and breathing deeply.
Do something. For God's sake, do something before I do. Give me an excuse so I don't have to take the first step.
Jude's prayers were answered. Erling grabbed his hair and tilted his head to the side, moving his own face until his nose touched Jude's scent gland, breathing in his scent deeply and sticking his tongue out until it touched Jude's skin, as if he wanted to taste it. Jude couldn't hold back the loud moan that escaped him and squeezed Erling's thigh hard, trembling under the other alpha's touch, all kinds of reason and coherent thought fleeing his body in a rush. He watched as Erling used his free hand to take the laptop off his lap and set it aside on the mattress, before bringing it to Jude's waist, sliding it under his shirt and gripping his waist tightly.
Jude removed his hand from his thigh and grabbed Erling by the bicep and waist, pulling the other alpha on top of him, lying down fully on the mattress and giving Erling more space to continue sucking on his neck. He felt more than heard Erling's moan, followed by a low growl before the blonde pulled away from his neck and pressed his lips to his.
Yes. Yesyesyesyes!
Jude didn't hesitate before opening his mouth and pushing his tongue against Erling's, his soul almost leaving his body at how good everything felt, at how delicious his mouth was; the hand on Erling's waist sliding under his shirt and gripping the skin of his waist tightly, pulling him closer, wanting to go inside him and disappear there, merging the two of them together.
He felt Erling's hips press against his and couldn't hold back another moan when he felt the other alpha's erection against his thigh. Jude's hands were trembling as he pulled Erling closer, even though there was no way they could touch any more than they already were. He started kissing and sucking on the blonde's tongue almost desperately, gripping his body tightly.
"Slow down," Erling whispered against Jude's mouth, a smirk appearing on his lips. "No need to rush, we have all night."
Jude let out a shaky sigh and nodded. "Sorry," he murmured, trying to take a deep breath and deciding to let Erling take the lead since he seemed to have more experience in this department than Jude.
They kissed for what felt like hours, their scents mixing in the air and making Jude's mind go blank. Erling shifted until he was fully between Jude's legs, his cock pressing against Jude's as he started to move his hips; slow at first but getting clumsier and more impatient as time went on.
Jude couldn't control the sounds coming out of him, couldn't stop groaning while he sucked on the blonde's tongue, while he shoved his hands under Erling's clothes and ran his fingers over the warm skin. He felt himself shaking with need, wanted more but didn't know how to ask, didn't even know if he could still speak while Erling sucked and bit his lower lip.
"Your scent is so delicious," Erling said, murmuring, almost high, the hand on Jude's waist sliding down to his thigh and grabbing tightly, lifting it until Jude had his leg wrapped around Erling's hip; the change in angle almost made Jude's brain fry. "You have no idea how much I've missed it."
"Yeah?" Jude sighed, rubbing his cock against Erling's harder; he was so wet he thought he might start leaking through his pants.
"Yeah," Erling nodded, a smile spreading across his lips. "So fucking much."
Everything was so good, Jude thought he was close to reaching nirvana and transcending matter, as dramatic as that sounded. There was nothing better than feeling Erling hard and grinding against him, than feeling his hands and mouth, than feeling his scent take over every corner of that dorm; Jude doubted he'd function normally after this, that he'd be able to focus on anything else now that he knew what Erling's amazing mouth tasted like and how his moans sounded, how he trembled every time Jude ground against him the right way, how his blue eyes rolled.
He wanted to make it last longer, wanted to stay like this all night, but Jude felt dangerously close to cumming. He didn't even have the mental capacity to be embarrassed about finishing so fast or about being about to mess up his own pants, without even feeling Erling's touch properly on his cock. Erling also seemed close; he'd pulled his mouth away from Jude's and buried his face in his neck, groaning loudly and trembling; so fucking hot.
"Sorry," Erling said, voice shaking and breaking, a string of sighs and low moans slipping past his lips and getting lost in the skin of Jude's neck. "Wanted to make it last, but I don’t think I can," he let out a breathless laugh when he finished.
It's okay, Jude thought, but he couldn't say it out loud or put it into words; his mouth was watering. We'll do this again. And again. Every day. Please.
"Can I cum?" he asked, his voice coming out breathless, his hips starting to move without rhythm.
"Fuck, yes," Jude replied, grabbing him by the hair with one hand to make Erling kiss him again.
Erling started moving faster, and Jude felt the moment he shook all over, his lips falling open against Jude's mouth, a low grunt escaping from the back of his throat as Jude felt his cock pulse against his own while Erling came. Jude couldn't hold back and finished right after, throwing his head back into the pillow as a deep sigh escaped him.
Jude felt his whole body go limp as ecstasy took over every pore; he tried to catch his breath, eyes still closed, but then he felt Erling grab his cheeks and slide his tongue back into his mouth, stealing all the air Jude had managed to gather.
This kiss was lazier and messier than the others. Jude wrapped his arms around his waist again, feeling the mess in his pants spreading across his skin, feeling Erling's own mess soaking into his pants. He already wanted to do it again.
They broke the kiss and Erling pulled his face back a bit to look at Jude; hair falling over his forehead and touching Jude's forehead too, lips red and swollen, cheeks flushed; beautiful, he was beautiful, Jude wanted to keep kissing him all night.
Mine, mine, mine, mine. Say you're mine, take your clothes off, let me get under your skin.
A loud scream made them both jump and turn their heads toward the laptop; the movie was still playing and probably near the end, Jude had even forgotten what they were doing before.
"I guess that answers my question," Erling said, still looking at the laptop screen as a smirk appeared on his lips.
"Which one?" Jude asked, out of breath as he looked at him.
Erling let out a little laugh before turning back to look at Jude. "If I'm your type or not."
Jude felt his cheeks heat up and rolled his eyes, pinching Erling's waist lightly and wrapping both legs around him.
"Shut up, I like you better when you're quiet,” his voice came out a bit steadier, but he was still shaking and the scent coming off of him was still too needy and clingy for an alpha.
Erling smiled more and bit his lip. "Yeah? You like me?"
Jude huffed and pulled him by the hair again, kissing him once more and deciding to ignore the stupid question and all these stupid little shakes. There were thousands of more interesting things they could be doing right now instead of talking.
Jude woke up the next morning before the alarm again.
For a few moments, he was confused; this wasn't the ceiling he was used to staring at. Jude blinked a few times, his eyes opening wider with every blink. He looked to the right and furrowed his brow when he came face-to-face with Erling's chair legs.
"Huh?" he murmured, then turned to the left, this time coming face-to-face with Erling himself, sleeping right next to him.
Last night flooded his mind in a strong, violent wave: the sounds, the touches, the heavy breathing, the scent. The scent of both of them was still impregnated in the room; all the windows were closed, and Jude even felt a bit light headed from the scent of both of them in every corner of the place. Erling was lying on his stomach next to him, blankets around his hips and shirtless; Jude's eyes started wandering without his permission. On Erling's waist, right there on that curve between the ribs and the hip that had Jude staring hypnotized, were some finger marks — fingertip marks left by Jude. On his hip skin, at least on the part not covered by fabric, were some scratches and more finger marks; Jude hadn't even realized how hard he'd pulled Erling close yesterday.
Jude's heart raced in a pathetic way. It really happened. It wasn't a wet dream; it really happened. Erling and I kissed yesterday.
And it wasn't just once. After the movie ended, Jude couldn't let Erling get off him while the credits rolled; he couldn't take his legs off Erling's waist or his hands off his skin. Erling took his shirt off at some point, saying he was hot because of the two blankets and Jude's touches — actually, Jude thinks that was the reason, because honestly, he hadn't paid attention to a single word coming out of the blonde's mouth while he watched Erling kneel between his legs, pupils dilated and lips red, taking off his shirt while staring at Jude's face. The situation almost made Jude go to his early grave, and he got hard again in a ridiculously fast way; Erling saw and let out a little giggle, cheeks red, before lying on top of him again and kissing him.
I'm in love, was the only thing going through Jude's head while Erling smiled against his lips, while he interlaced his fingers with Jude's. I'm in love with this boy; I want to disappear inside the curve of his smile.
Jude sat up quickly on the bed, clutching his chest. Not that it was a huge surprise; he'd already suspected he felt something for Erling just by the way he'd been acting the last few weeks, but he thought it was just a silly crush, like he'd felt for Djed and the Starbucks barista at the Grand Central, not full-blown love.
Then, alongside the shock and surprise of discovering he was in love for the first time, Jude realized his boxers and pants were full of dried cum.
He buried his face in his hands, embarrassed, and tried to count his breaths to calm down. But it was almost impossible, especially since everything he'd said last night kept playing on an endless loop in his head — all the moans, all the sighs, every single phrase. Erling's voice. Jude looked at the blonde through his fingers, still sleeping like an angel.
"Can I cum?"
"Can I cum?"
"Can I cum?"
"Can I—"
Jude scrambled out of the mattress fast, holding on to his desk to keep from landing on top of Erling and waking him up. He climbed over the blonde and moved frantically around the dorm in quiet desperation, grabbing his toiletries, a towel, and his uniform. He almost ran out of the dorm.
That had been one of the fastest and coldest showers Jude had ever taken. The showers were empty because of the hour, and he could barely look at himself in the mirror while brushing his teeth and fixing his hair. Erling had left a mark on his neck, but luckily for Jude, it was right over his left scent gland, which could be easily covered by the scent patch.
(Jude stood there for almost a full minute running his finger over the mark with his lips parted, practically drifting to another world, but he didn't need to tell anyone that.)
He headed back to the dorm and opened the door slowly. Erling's alarm still had about ten minutes left to go off, so Jude wasn't surprised to find him sleeping in the same position as before. Jude dropped his toiletries on his desk and carefully stretched to grab his phone, then left the room and went to his first class of the day without the guts to even look Erling in the face.
Jude sat at the desk with his chin in his hand, his leg bouncing up and down. He didn't regret what happened last night — not even a little, but he was really embarrassed. He was embarrassed by the way he acted, the way he talked, and the sounds that slipped out of him. He looked like a desperate virgin, which wasn't a lie, but it wasn't cute either. And Erling probably didn't care much, since he kept up and actually initiated, but still, Jude wanted to crawl into a hole and disappear.
Jude's first class of the day was one of the ones they sat next to each other in; their desks pushed together because they'd been partners since the start of the year, and Jude couldn't think of a worse day for that to be their first class.
Was Erling going to be really pissed that Jude ran off? It wasn't out of disgust or regret; Jude hoped he could explain it to his friend without too much trouble. Actually, if Jude could, he'd spend the rest of the day wrapped in their nest and in Erling's body, maybe really touch him in the ways he actually wanted instead of just dry-humping, even though just thinking about it made his heart skip a beat.
Jude still called it a nest, but was that really what Erling had made? Maybe he just wanted to pile the mattresses and blankets and pillows together with no other intention; Jude never imagined he'd get stuck on that detail so hard. But Jude couldn't help overthinking it — it had been way, way too long since he'd last slept in a nest, since he was about seven and his mom still let him and Jobe sleep in her nest, squished between his dad and her, almost floating in the perfect scent of family. Jude didn't even know he missed that, that he wanted it again. As an alpha, he didn't have an urge to make nests, but he couldn't deny that there was something really comforting about being in one.
Especially being in one with the person you were in love with.
A noise at Erling's desk made Jude jump in surprise and snap out of his daydreams. He turned and saw Erling standing next to the desk, the notebook he’d thrown at the desk to scare Jude had fallen open on a page full of notes, Erling's neat handwriting standing out against the paper, and he was staring at Jude with one eyebrow raised, his hair slightly messy and his tie crooked, his shirt half out of his pants.
Jude swallowed hard as they locked eyes and the other boys walked into the room. Erling didn't say anything, Jude didn't either, and the silence between them lasted until the teacher came in and told everyone to sit. Erling turned his face forward, his expression blank and his jaw tight; Jude started feeling anxious.
Shit, I should’ve waited until he woke up, he thought, looking away and bouncing his leg faster.
Time dragged on while Jude stared at the front of the room without paying attention to what was happening, his chin resting on one hand, his brows furrowed. He felt Erling's thigh pressing against his under the desk and his heart almost jumped out of his chest; he looked at the blonde without turning his head. Erling was lying on his forearms on the desk, his mouth and nose hidden in the crook of his elbow, looking up at Jude's face. His eyes were very round and his light lashes caught the winter sunlight coming through the window; some blonde hair was falling over his forehead and cheeks, and his white uniform shirt left his bicep clearly outlined, making Jude gulp.
Jude stared and stared and stared, finally stopping to bounce his leg and pressing it against Erling's. He felt the heat coming off the other alpha like a fire taking over him. They spent the rest of the class like that.
When the class ended, Erling stood up from his desk and waited for Jude besides it. He looked at the blonde with a hint of awkwardness, then got up and walked out of the room with his head down, Erling following right behind him.
Jude figured Erling would at least wait until they were back in the dorm to say something, so he was surprised when Erling grabbed him by the nape of the neck and started pushing him toward an empty classroom. Jude couldn't hold back a low growl; Jude might be a lot of things, but he was still an alpha, and getting grabbed like that — twice, no less! — was ridiculous.
Erling just let out a little snort and squeezed harder, pushing Jude into the room and closing the door after him. He finally let go and went over to the windows facing the hallway, pulling the blinds to give them some privacy, ignoring the other alpha's grumbling.
He turned to Jude and walked over to the classroom door, leaning against the wood with his arms crossed, one eyebrow raised, head tilted to the side. Jude felt the irritation start to give way to nervousness again.
"I thought you were gonna give me a morning kiss, at least," Erling said after a few moments of silence, still looking at Jude with that same expression. "I felt like a prostitute, you know? I got you off and then you ran away the next day."
Jude felt his cheeks get very hot and ran a hand through his hair. "Sorry," he said, his voice coming out thinner than he liked. "I shouldn't have left like that," he sighed and looked at the ceiling for a few moments before looking back at the blonde. "Erling, about last night—"
"What? You regret it?" Erling interrupted, a smirk on his lips, but Jude could see his feet fidgeting.
"No," Jude shook his head. "Not at all. I liked it. A lot, actually," the last part came out lower than the rest.
Erling raised his eyebrows, and Jude saw his shoulders relax. "Then what's the problem?"
Jude shifted his weight from leg to leg. "I'm an alpha."
"Yep, I noticed," he nodded sarcastically.
"Since when do you like alphas?"
Erling let out a little laugh. "Ah, so that's the problem then? You think I don't like the thing?" He pressed his lips together, but Jude could see he was trying to hold back a smile.
"And you like it?" Jude spread his hands, more nervous than he wanted to admit about the possible answer.
Erling shrugged. "I like men. Doesn't matter if it's alpha or omega."
"And betas?"
"Er," he lifted a hand and scratched behind his ear, looking at the floor, before crossing his arms again. "Actually, no. The lack of scent bothers me."
"Ah," Jude was surprised, didn't know what to say.
"But that doesn't matter," he turned back to Jude's face, leaning more against the door and opening his legs a bit. "And I don't care that you're alpha either. If I did, I wouldn't be hitting on you for weeks now."
Jude's jaw dropped, and he stared at Erling in shock for a moment. "You were hitting on me?"
Erling frowned. "Wasn’t it obvious?"
"I thought you were treating me normally."
Erling looked at him like Jude was slow. "What's normal about me asking what turns you on?"
Well, shit, when he put it like that…
"You talk about this kind of stuff with Declan and Jordan too," Jude shrugged.
"You're crazy," Erling laughed. "You really don't pay attention to what we talk about. The moment you hear 'omega', you drift off to another world."
"Fuck, sorry if I don't wanna hear the guy I'm into talking about knotting another man," Jude threw his hands up and rolled his eyes.
When he finally realized what he'd said, Erling's smile was already huge.
"Yeah? You’re into me, then?"
Jude swallowed hard. "Don't play dumb," he said quietly.
Erling let out another one of those annoying little laughs and beckoned Jude closer with his index finger. Jude hesitated for a few seconds before walking over to him and stopping in front of Erling. The other alpha licked his lips and reached out to grab the waistband of Jude's pants, pulling him closer and closer until their hips were pressed together. Jude let out a shaky breath, looking automatically at Erling's lips before tilting his head up slightly.
"Does that mean I can kiss you whenever I want?" Erling said softly, his voice deep and his hands holding Jude by the hips, the other alpha pinned between his legs.
"Yeah," Jude replied in the same tone, grabbing Erling's biceps with both hands, eyelids heavy.
"Really? You're gonna stop wearing the patches in the dorm too?"
"Yeah."
"Does that mean I can do the same thing to you I did yesterday? And more."
Jude started getting turned on. "Yeah."
"You're not gonna run off from our nest again, are you?"
Jesus Christ.
"Was it really a nest?" he asked, looking Erling in the eyes.
"Of course it was," Erling laughed again, shoulders shaking. "What did you think it was?"
"I thought it could be one. I didn't know you made nests."
"When my mom was alive, one of our house rooms was reserved for her nest. She always let me and my siblings help her set it up," his smile got softer, a little melancholic. "I didn't lose the habit."
Shit, now Jude felt really bad for being hard.
"Cute," he said, embarrassed. "I also thought of my mom when I was in the nest with you."
Erling's expression went from soft to disturbed in seconds. He stared at Jude with furrowed brows and mouth open.
"What?" He was perplexed.
"Not like that!" Jude rushed to correct it. "I meant that my mom also let me get into her nest when I was younger!"
The blonde's shoulders relaxed, but he was still staring at Jude a little disturbed. "Don't ever say that again," he shook his head. "Especially with your hard dick on my thigh. How could you tell me you were thinking of your mom while we were having sex?"
Jude pinched one of Erling's biceps. "Stop, you understood what I meant. And we didn't have sex."
Erling let out a little snort. "Then what exactly did we do, my prince?"
Jude felt his heart speed up with the nickname. "You don't have sex with clothes on."
"Ah," Erling nodded and smirked again. "If you wanted me to take your clothes off, you could've just asked, love."
"Just like you asked if you could cum?" Jude raised an eyebrow.
Erling's smile got bigger and more mischievous. "Mhm," he said, moving his face closer to Jude's, their noses touching. "I'm very, very polite, you know? Wanna see again?"
Their lips touched and Jude let out a sigh. One of Erling's hands left Jude's hip to grip his jaw, his tongue lazily meeting Jude's. Jude put an arm around Erling's waist and the other over his shoulders, his hand tangling in the blonde hair almost automatically, melting against the other alpha's body.
"Want to watch a movie again today?" Erling asked softly when they finally parted their lips for a moment, that same smile still on his face.
Jude smiled too. "Only if it's a horror movie."
"Oh, you can bet it is, I have a very, very good one to show you."
They kept kissing, not caring that they were locked in a classroom.
The rest of the week before Jude's Christmas break went like this:
He went to class with Erling, went to practice with Erling, played League of Legends with Erling, and at night he lay in their nest in the middle of the room with Erling.
They'd already been glued to each other before, but now that no look and no touch had to be hidden or disguised anymore, it was hard to find one without the other somewhere nearby. Jude fell asleep and woke up smiling, wrapped up in a pile of blankets and the other alpha’s legs, clutching and holding onto him like Jude was going to wake up in the middle of the night and run off. His neck, under the scent patches, was covered in little marks, but noticeable enough that Jude had to rush to cover them up in the locker room; there wasn't a single piece of his clothing left that didn't smell like Erling.
If Jude used to be excited about Christmas break and spending two weeks away from Erling, now all he wanted was for time to just stop right where they were; with Erling sliding his foot along the skin of Jude's thigh, creeping up the inside of his shorts leg and smiling like he wasn't doing anything wrong while Jude rummaged through the dresser for some warm clothes to wear. The plan was for the two of them to join Jordan, Declan and the other boys from the team downtown, buy some Christmas presents for their families and do something fun.
That was the plan, right, but Erling was making life difficult for Jude right now.
"Why the rush?" Erling said. "It's only 11 in the morning."
"Only?" Jude looked at him over his shoulder, one eyebrow raised. "We agreed on leaving at one."
"Exactly," Erling looked at Jude with the same expression as the other alpha. "Two more hours."
He was sitting on Jude's bed, hands propped behind him on the mattress, wearing a long-sleeved shirt and one of the team's uniform shorts. It was the 20th; he and Jude were leaving the boarding school tomorrow morning, and once a month the dorm monitors did inspections of the rooms, so it was with a heavy heart that Jude had to take apart their nest. Erling had said they could build a new one together as soon as they got back from Christmas break, and only then did Jude's pout disappear.
"Only two hours," Jude stressed the word, turning back to the dresser and pulling out some folded clothes he figured were warm enough. "Two hours isn't enough for me to pick an outfit, shower and get ready."
"But damn," Erling exclaimed, sounding surprised. "How do you not do that in two hours? Did you become a Louis Vuitton model or something?"
Jude rolled his eyes, even though the blonde couldn't see it. "You're the one who grabs the first thing you see and calls it good enough."
"Yeah. And I still look really hot."
Well. Jude couldn't argue with that.
The foot that had been creeping up Jude's thigh disappeared, which was both good and bad — good because now Jude would finally be able to focus on what he was trying to do, and bad because the contact, distracting as it was, felt really, really good. Jude let out a quiet sigh.
Erling got up from the bed and stood behind Jude, his hands going straight for Jude's waist and pulling him back until his back was flush against the blonde's chest; Jude swallowed hard when Erling's scent started to shift and his fingers slid under the fabric of the shirt Jude was wearing.
"I wanna try something," Erling said quietly, sliding the tip of his nose behind Jude's ear. "I swear it'll only take a second."
Jude sighed again, leaning his head against Erling's shoulder and giving the blonde more room to start kissing and nibbling on his neck; he didn’t have any issues in admitting he was really easy.
"Try what?" he asked.
Erling smiled against the skin of his neck and turned Jude around in his arms. Even though it had only been five days since Jude's first kiss, he'd discovered he had a real talent for it — at least when it came to kissing Erling. Jude's arms wound around the blonde's shoulders and he closed his eyes, losing himself in the taste of Erling's mouth and the way their scents mixed in the air. He didn't even notice Erling started walking them across the dorm until they were both standing at the edge of Jude's bed.
"Sit here," Erling pulled back from Jude, sitting down on the mattress and patting his own thigh twice.
Jude bit his lip, staring at the bulge in his team shorts, which left absolutely nothing to the imagination. He barely thought about it before kneeling on the mattress, one leg on either side of Erling's hips as he settled into the blonde's lap. Erling held the back of his neck with one hand and kissed him again, harder and deeper this time.
There was something genuinely transcendent about feeling Erling's cock get hard, and Jude didn't care how gay that sounded. And it was so easy to get him turned on; just the day before yesterday, a few hours before they took the nest apart for the monthly inspection, he and Erling had been lying there cuddled up, talking about how their families usually spent Christmas and the cultural differences between them. Jude had decided to turn his own shyness off and make the first move this time; he raised a hand and ran his fingers through Erling's hair, letting them rest at the nape of his neck and tugging lightly on it, looking Erling right in the eyes and letting his own scent make it more than obvious what Jude was imagining.
Erling stopped talking mid-sentence and his cock got hard so fast that Jude genuinely worried his blood pressure would drop, but before Jude could voice his concerns or make a silly joke, Erling had pinned him down and started kissing him almost desperately.
Now wasn't any different — Jude could feel Erling's erection pressing against his own as the two of them made out loud and wet, fingers tangled in Erling's hair, because Jude had also discovered he really liked pulling it, and Erling liked having his hair pulled even more. All they'd done so far was dry-hump with their clothes on and ruin an absurd number of boxers and pants, so when Erling pulled his mouth away and lay back on the bed, Jude hurried to follow, but a hand on his chest stopped him.
"Stay there," Erling said, voice hoarse and a little breathless, keeping Jude seated in his lap. "I wanna try something."
Jude nodded, his own heart pounding hard. Erling licked his lips and grabbed the hem of his own shirt, pulling it up to his mouth and biting the fabric between his teeth. Jude stared at his chest and abs with his pupils practically turning into two little hearts, lips slightly parted. He couldn't control his own hand, which slid from the little blonde hairs below the other alpha's belly button up to one of his pecs, squeezing the muscle tight and rubbing a pink nipple with his thumb; the sound Erling let out sent shivers straight through Jude's soul.
Erling took a deep breath and grabbed the hem of his shorts with one hand, pulling them down and letting his cock slip out. Jude stared at it with wide eyes as it bounced against his abs.
Jude had never stopped to look at another penis that wasn’t his own, especially not after he realized he liked other alphas – nothing in the world should be worse than getting a reputation for staring at other people’s dick. He'd never seen Erling's before, and not because the blonde hadn't tried, so Jude couldn't help but stare a second too long. It was big and thick, with a vein running up the side, the tip wet and reddish. The most beautiful thing Jude had ever seen; even Jude's own cock gave a little throb.
"What?" Erling asked after Jude had stared for a full minute without blinking.
Jude looked away, up to his face; Erling had furrowed brows and red cheeks, looking shy.
"It's big," was the only thing Jude could say.
Erling let out a little snort through his nose. "I know."
"Why is it so big?"
"You're gonna have to ask God about that one."
Jude looked back down and reached out for Erling's erection; he touched the base with his pinky, then spread his palm open, measuring Erling's cock from pinky to thumb. Jude's eyes went wide; it fit in his hand with room to spare.
He glanced up at Erling's face, who was watching him with an impatient look.
"If you don't stop staring, I'm gonna shove it in your mouth," Erling said.
Jude trembled.
"Well," he cleared his throat, still looking at Erling's face. "I wouldn't complain."
Erling moaned. "Fuck, shut up."
He grabbed Jude's wrist almost desperately, making the other alpha wrap his fingers around his dick while his left hand dropped Jude's shorts to let his own erection out too. Jude barely had time to groan before Erling wrapped his hand around Jude's cock and started jerking him off. Sometimes Jude forgot he was left-handed.
Jude matched Erling's pace, his thighs trembling. Erling's cock was so hot and wet, Jude didn't need anything to make the slide easier. The wet sounds filled the room, along with the moans escaping from both of them and the mixed scent; Jude had never felt anything better in his life. Erling's hand was so big and firm, it almost covered Jude's entire cock, and even though he wasn't as big as Erling, Jude wasn't small either.
"Why didn't we do this before?" Jude found himself saying, the words coming out before he could think about them.
"I don't know, but we can start doing it every day now," Erling's voice came out rough.
Promise, Jude thought.
"Hold both of them," Erling said, letting go of Jude's erection and shoving both hands inside his shorts to squeeze his ass hard. "Fuck, your ass is so perfect."
Jude bit his lip hard to keep from moaning loud and held both of them with both hands, still keeping the same rhythm, throwing his head back when his cock touched Erling's, mouth open.
Everything was so good, Jude's mouth was watering so much he thought he might start drooling. Erling pulsed in a steady rhythm in his hands, and every time Jude slid near the base, he could feel where his knot would be when Erling hit his first rut. Jude couldn't help but imagine what it would be like to share a rut with him; what scent would fill the room, the noises the blonde would make, if he'd ask to mark Jude's neck.
Just the thought was enough to make something inside Jude almost explode, and he started moving his hands faster. He didn't take long to come, moaning deep and louder than he should have for the time of day. Erling squeezed his ass really hard, almost tearing a piece of Jude off, growling and making him tremble.
Jude forced himself to open his eyes and look down, just as Erling came too. The way the blonde trembled underneath him, the feeling of his cock pulsing in his hands, his head thrown back and mouth open, watching him cum all over his own abs and the mess of the two of them mixing on his skin and the blonde hairs under his belly button; the sight alone almost made Jude cum again.
Jude's heart was pounding in his ears as he breathed hard, undecided whether to look at Erling's face, his abs, or close his eyes and let the ecstasy carry him away. Erling's hands were still inside his shorts, gripping his ass, like he'd been doing this for forever. Jude realized he didn't care at all.
"Jesus," Erling finally said once they both caught their breath.
Jude couldn't hold back an awestruck little giggle. Fuck, there was no feeling better than what Jude felt after cumming and making Erling cum too.
"We really should do this every day," Jude said.
Erling nodded enthusiastically and Jude couldn’t hold back a huge smile. They looked at each other for a while before Jude looked away at his chest and felt the heat start spreading through his stomach again. He didn't know what came over him, but when he realized it, he'd already lifted his hands to grab the muscle. The blonde stared with one eyebrow raised as Jude squeezed and played with his nipples.
Suddenly, Jude found himself leaning down, not even caring if he was ruining his own shirt with cum, just to put his mouth on Erling's right pec. He licked the nipple and rolled his eyes before closing his lips around it and starting to suck.
"What are you doing?" Erling asked, his voice a little shaky, and his hands squeezed Jude's ass involuntarily.
Jude took a while to answer, too busy sucking on his nipple and making sure to leave a purple mark behind.
"I like your tits," he finally said.
Erling let out a little offended noise. "I don't have tits!"
Jude looked at his face with one eyebrow raised, pulling back just enough to say: "Then what's this here?"
Erling huffed, cheeks red, but Jude could see the goosebumps on his neck.
"Get your mouth off and get off me."
"Get your hands off my ass, then."
Erling pouted. "I don't want to."
Jude shrugged and went back to sucking his nipple, this time giving a little attention to the left one.
In the end, they were almost an hour late for the plans Jude had been so worried about.
erling 💕🥰
next year we'll spend christmas break and new year's at the boarding school
jude
the school's gonna be basically empty
what are we gonna do for two weeks in an empty school??
erling 💕🥰
play checkers 🙄
what do you think we'll do in an empty school??
don't piss me off
jude
wow
rude
🖕🏾
erling 💕🥰
you're acting dumb on purpose
empty school = empty dorm wing
empty dorm wing = we can make noise
which means we can fuck!
jude
like, for real??
you're gonna let me fuck you?
erling 💕🥰
uhhh what weird shit you’re thinking about??
we'll have to check that out properly
might even start a fight lol
jude
and why do you think i would let you do it to me?? 🤨
erling 💕🥰
i don't think anything lol
and if you just wanna keep jerking off that's cool too
but i have a feeling you're gonna ask me to fuck you one way or another
jude
what a bizarre conversation wtf lol
aren’t you at the airport?? don't you have any shame typing this stuff in public??
erling 💕🥰
no ☺️
and my flight got delayed because of the weather
i'll get home almost at night.
jude
so you just decided to torment me then
i see
erling 💕🥰
actually, i'm already missing you
did you know i stole one of your hoodies?
jude
really? which one?
erling 💕🥰
the oversized red one
it was the only one that fit me
and i noticed you hadn't washed it, so it's got plenty of your scent on it
i'm actually wearing it right now
jude
yeah?
and did it fit you well, love?
erling 💕🥰
[photo.]
"For God’s sake, Mom, open the windows," Jobe's voice sounded loud and indignant. Jude jumped and looked away from his phone to his younger brother. Jobe was staring at Jude with furrowed brows and a hand over his nose. "What the fuck is that smell?"
"Hey, watch your mouth!" Their mom looked at Jobe in the rearview mirror with an irritated expression. "I told you I don't want any of you talking like that," she grumbled, but she still opened all the car windows anyway.
"What smell?" Jude asked, confused.
"I'm the one asking you. Did you get yourself a boyfriend?" Jobe started waving his hand in front of them, trying to dissipate Jude's scent from the air.
Jude felt himself getting shy and realized their mom was trying to look discreetly through the rearview mirror. He shifted in his seat, nervous.
"No," his voice wasn't convincing at all. "It's nothing."
"I don't even want to know, actually," Jobe rolled his eyes and looked back out the window. "If you're gonna keep smelling like that, put some scent patches on. Nobody wants to know the details of your love life."
Jude looked at their mom in the rearview mirror and saw her nodding slightly, wearing an expression just as embarrassed as his own. Fuck, his scent must really be making it more than obvious what he was thinking right now.
He locked his phone screen and searched through the smaller pockets of his bag for the scent patches. It wasn't entirely Jude's fault, honestly. Who wouldn't get excited seeing the person you like wearing your clothes? Saying they already missed you enough to want to carry your scent to another country?
It had only been a few hours since he and Erling said goodbye at the boarding school, full of promises to text each other constantly until they saw each other again. Jude wasn't gonna lie, he had actually felt a little sad when leaving. It was only going to be two weeks, but for his young, lovesick heart, it felt like an eternity.
They exchanged gifts this morning; Jude had bought him the new Manchester City season jersey, and Erling had given him a bracelet with Jude's name engraved on it. He didn't even wait to get far away before putting it on.
Jude had never felt this before, never done this before — exchanging gifts, stealing secret kisses behind the stands of the boarding school's football field, touching another person's body like Erling was letting him touch every day. Everything was new and exciting and fun and good; every look and every smile, every touch and word exchanged, everything messed with Jude in a way that made him not recognize who he even was. Even his grades had improved, because everything he did with Erling was fun, even studying. His mood had gotten better, his performance on the team too, and even his relationship with the other boys, because now Jude was more patient and less bossy, even.
The sun shone differently, the snow fell in a prettier way, the world seemed more colorful; there was nothing better than what Jude was feeling. He didn't even care anymore that it would be the first Christmas and New Year his family wouldn't spend together — just the thought that someone was waiting for him to come back, someone who missed him enough to take something of his to another country, made Jude forget about anything else that was messing with his peace at the start of the school year.
It was funny, almost a little pitiful, and kind of scary, but above all, it was good in a way he'd never felt before. And he didn't care at all if anyone knew or noticed, it wasn't anyone's business, and nothing in this world would make him feel bad or embarrassed for liking Erling this way.
He picked up his phone after putting on the patches and looked back at the photo Erling had sent, biting the inside of his cheek to stop himself from smiling like an idiot.
Erling was sitting in a chair at the airport; the photo was taken from a bit above, he was wearing the hoodie's hood, and his bangs were falling over his forehead. He had a smirk on his lips, and the hoodie's collar was wide enough for Jude to see his neck and the red mark on his clavicle that Jude had left before they said goodbye; one of the hoodie's sleeves was rolled up to the middle of his forearm, the one Jude could see, and he admits he tapped the phone screen twice to zoom in on the veins in his forearm. It was the kind of photo you usually sent to a boyfriend or girlfriend, and Jude's heart even skipped a beat. He didn't waste any time before saving the photo to his phone gallery.
jude
looks good on you
erling 💕🥰
hmmm does it?
i like it better on you though
i wanted something that smelled like you.
jude
you can take as many clothes as you want
erling 💕🥰
what about you?
did you take anything?
jude
yeah
two shirts
erling 💕🥰
which ones?
jude
the long sleeved ones
that you use as pajamas
erling 💕🥰
send me a photo of you wearing them
preferably with nothing else on lol
NOT NOW
don't wanna get hard in the middle of the airport
jude
you're lucky i'm not wearing any of them
because you put me in a tough spot in the middle of the car too
erling 💕🥰
yeah?? niceee
gonna wanna play something when i get home?
jude
wouldn't you rather rest from the flight?
erling 💕🥰
it's only two hours
won't even have time to get tired
jude
if my family isn’t up to do anything i’ll call you on discord
erling 💕🥰
ok
i'll wait
don't forget my photo!!
Jude didn't know how to take provocative photos, but it didn't hurt to try, right?
He and Erling texted the rest of Jude's trip while the blonde waited for his flight to finally be cleared. When the car pulled up in front of their house, Jobe and Jude helped their mom unload the luggage and carry it inside. The first thing Jude noticed was their dad's scent as he walked through the door — probably the first thing Jobe noticed too, because he dropped the suitcase and backpack right by the door and ran into the living room.
"Dad?" Jude heard Jobe call out; he set his things aside and walked into the living room too.
Their dad was getting up from the couch with his arms open to hug Jobe when Jude walked in. He stared at the scene looking a bit confused, brows furrowed, and turned to shoot a meaningful look at their mom; she just shook her head slightly and headed to the kitchen.
"You came home?" Jobe asked, still hugging their dad tight, rubbing his face against his shirt.
Their dad let out a nervous little laugh, hugging Jobe back. "No," he said, glancing quickly at Jude. "But I'm spending the holidays with you guys."
Jude saw immediately that Jobe stiffened. "Oh," he said, pulling away as his scent started turning a little sour. "Got it. I'll go put my stuff away."
Jobe turned around, grabbed the suitcase and backpack he'd dropped by the door, looking irritated, and rushed upstairs with heavy footsteps. Jude sighed and walked over to their dad.
"He's not taking it well yet," he said while hugging him.
"How is he at boarding school?" Their dad asked once they pulled apart.
"Good, he has friends. On weekends, when I can, I take him out and play football with him. Though he prefers hanging out with his new friends more than me," Jude shook his head, smiling faintly.
Their dad let out a sad little laugh and sighed too, brows furrowed as he looked toward the stairs. It's gonna be a wonderful Christmas, from what I'm seeing, Jude thought as he excused himself to put his own things away too.
The atmosphere in the house was heavy while Jude and his parents did their best to disguise it. The first two days were some of the hardest since the day the divorce news broke. All the work Jude had done since August to help Jobe forget about what was happening at home crumbled in seconds. And Jude understood it was a shitty situation for everyone, but Jobe wasn't making it any easier; he answered every question or interaction rudely, rolled his eyes when his mom and dad were talking, stormed out of rooms slamming doors. Jude could see their mom was hurt and their dad was starting to lose patience, but both knew fighting wouldn't improve things, so everyone walked on eggshells around the topic.
The only good part was that Jude could just pull out his phone and start texting Erling whenever the vibe at home got too suffocating. Erling always replied almost instantly, like he kept their chat open 24/7 just waiting for Jude to message him.
Unlike Jude’s, Erling's break seemed to be going really well. He sent pics of everything he was doing; the food he was eating, pictures with his siblings and dad, long voice notes about his family's plans, how he'd run into some friends, and practically begging Jude to kick Declan off bot lane and put one of his friends in his place. Jude felt a twinge of jealousy, he wasn't gonna lie, but it was just dumb teenage stuff from someone who'd never dated anyone before, so he decided to ignore it.
Truthfully, he didn't even know if he and Erling were actually dating. They hadn't discussed anything, and realistically, it had only been a few weeks since their friendship took a sharp turn and completely changed direction. He wasn't gonna just come out and ask Erling what they were; was there a faster way to scare a guy off than that? And Jude didn't even think he needed labels, as long as they kept talking, touching, and treating each other like that, and as long as Erling wasn't doing this with anyone else.
On Christmas morning, Jude went downstairs and found some presents under the tree. His dad was already there, and Jude hugged everyone wishing them a Merry Christmas. Jobe had dropped the bad mood when he saw the gifts with his name on them, and they all had breakfast together. For a few moments, it didn't even seem like his parents were divorced and one of them no longer lived at home.
After breakfast, Jude nearly ran upstairs to talk to Erling.
jude
merry christmas
[photo.]
Even though Erling had said he wanted a more provocative photo of Jude wearing his clothes, Jude felt too shy to send anything like that; so he just put on one of the long-sleeved shirts and took the picture. He was sitting in his computer chair, the collar of Erling's shirt covering his nose and mouth while he made a peace sign with his right hand; the sleeves were too long on him, and Jude noticed a bit embarrassed how the fabric covered most of his hand.
Erling didn't take long to reply.
erling 💕🥰
really
merry christmas to me INDEED
you hate me
jude
why?
erling 💕🥰
how can you send me a photo like that while i'm in the middle of my family??
jude
there's nothing wrong with the photo
erling 💕🥰
there's you
wearing my clothes
wanna kiss you
jude
wanna kiss you too
so much
erling 💕🥰
your eyelashes are so long
and your eyes are so beautiful
holy shit
be still my beating heart
Jude spent the entire day with a goofy smile on his face and giving off the most lovesick scent he'd ever smelled in his life.
His good mood only lasted until Christmas dinner. Everyone was chatting normally, and for the first time since Jude got to Birmingham, the mood was light and relaxed. His mom had made a wonderful Christmas dinner and Jude almost cried while eating her food; not that the boarding school food was that terrible, it was bad, but not that bad. It's just that there's nothing better than mom's cooking.
His parents were talking to each other and Jude was watching the scene with a small smile. He missed this; their family always loved gathering up, always loved touches and physical affection. The hardest part was getting used to the fact that these moments wouldn't be routine or expected anymore. Apparently, Jude wasn't the only one noticing the interaction.
"You guys are getting along way too well for a divorced couple," Jobe complained, his voice bitter and his face irritated.
Everyone at the table turned to look at Jobe with wide eyes; Jude almost dropped his fork on his plate.
"Of course your mother and I get along," their dad replied, frowning. "We like each other."
"You don’t fucking like each other at all!"
"Hey!"
"Watch your mouth, I already told you—"
"If you guys liked each other, none of this would be happening!"
Jude dropped his fork on his plate and ran his hands over his face, taking a deep breath as everyone started talking loudly. He'd been feeling like this was going to happen sooner or later, but he was at least hoping it would be after Christmas, or at least they would wait until he finished dinner.
"How can you act like nothing happened?" Jobe kept going; Jude saw the moment his eyes filled with tears. He turned to their dad and said: "How could you just leave without saying anything? I just woke up one day with mom telling me you don't live here anymore!" He turned to their mom, "And you lock yourself in your room and cry and don't explain anything either! You won't even let me smell your scent anymore!"
Jobe started crying and Jude saw the expression on his parents' faces shift from irritated to guilty. He decided he didn't want to listen to the horrible conversation that would follow and got up from the table. This was also Jobe's moment to vent and let out the anger he was feeling. No one complained as he turned his back and walked up the stairs to his room.
Jude didn't feel bad admitting to himself that he had no interest in knowing why they divorced — he was also confused and hurt at first, but he was tired of spending almost a whole year being the emotional crutch for the entire family. He was tired of having to act like the adult in the house because his parents were too busy with themselves to realize their youngest son was suffering the most from the breakup. This time, they could deal with the problem on their own.
He sat on his bed, back against the wall, and pulled his phone out of his pocket. Jude didn't even know what came over him when he opened the chat with Erling and started calling him on video.
When he realized what he was doing, Erling had already answered and Jude didn't have time to hang up anymore.
"Hi," Erling's huge smile appeared on the screen. He was walking down the stairs at home, his hair combed back and his eyes shining; Jude noticed he was holding a baby in his arms.
"Hi," he replied. "Sorry for calling out of the blue, we can talk later if you're too busy."
"I'm not," Erling shook his head. Jude saw him walk into the kitchen, prop the phone somewhere, and step back a bit. Jude could see he was wearing all black and the baby was dressed in a Santa suit. "I was gonna text you too."
"Yeah?" Jude couldn't help but smile. "And who's this?"
"This is Oskar," Erling's smile got even bigger and he brought Oskar closer to the phone for Jude to see his little face; Jude had never seen eyes so big and blue on a baby before. "He's two years old, he's my sister Gabrielle's son."
"He's adorable. Hi, Oskar," he waved at the camera.
"He's the family's favorite thing right now," Erling pulled Oskar away from the camera and buried his nose in his neck, giving a loud sniff and making Oskar giggle. "He's the first grandson and first omega in the family since my mom."
"So you can already tell he's an omega?"
"Yeah," Erling pulled a chair and sat down with Oskar on his lap. He leaned closer to the camera and tilted Oskar’s face a bit so Jude could look at his neck. "See this little bump here?" He ran his finger over it. "It's his scent gland starting to form. Gabrielle took him to the pediatrician and his blood test showed he's probably an omega. I'm absolutely sure he is, his little scent is just too good."
Erling brought his face back to Oskar’s neck again, taking a deep breath once more, eyes closed. Jude's heart was practically aching from so much emotion. He didn't even know that seeing Erling holding a baby was something he wanted, but now that the image was in his head, Jude couldn't help feeling even more in love. He took a screenshot.
"It's been a while since I held a pup," Jude said. "Nobody in my family has little kids."
"I didn't even know I liked pups until Oskar was born, to be honest," Erling said, but he was still looking at Oskar's face and making funny faces. "Now every time I see him, I wanna steal him for myself."
Jude laughed. "Do you want kids?"
"I don't know, I never stopped to think about it. I'm too young for that stuff."
"Not now, obviously," Jude rolled his eyes. "In the future."
Erling shrugged. "Depends on who I'm married to."
Jude's smile got a little smaller and he was grateful Erling wasn't looking at the camera. He could read between the lines: depends if I'm with an omega, was what he meant.
Jude knew he was looking for trouble thinking about this stuff, especially since him and Erling had nothing and Erling hadn't said anything weird. Well, nobody could accuse Jude of underthinking things.
"But how's your Christmas going?" Erling said, pulling Jude out of the spiral he was almost falling into.
Jude let out a heavy sigh and ran a hand over his neck. "Not as good as yours, apparently."
"What happened?" He looked at Jude with furrowed brows, looking worried.
"Jobe finally had a meltdown and started fighting with my parents during dinner. My dad came to spend the holidays with us and he didn't take it well, so I just left the table and decided to come to my room."
"Oh," Erling's expression softened. "Can't blame him, can we? From what you tell me, the news came out of nowhere. When did they get divorced?"
"Mom said they were separating in April," Jude said. "But the divorce was only finalized in July."
"Must've been really nice for your brother," Erling smiled faintly and shook his head; Oskar shifted on his lap and rested his little face on Erling's shoulder, thumb in his mouth. Jude took another screenshot. "Your parents get divorced and the next month your mom sends you off to a boarding school in the middle of nowhere. I'd have been pissed too."
"I'm not saying he's wrong to be mad, I'm just tired of dealing with everyone," Jude admitted quietly.
"I know, love," Erling rested his cheek against the top of Oskar's head; his eyes were shining bright and Jude's heart raced at the pet name. "You did the right thing by stepping away from the fight. They can sort it out themselves."
Jude couldn't hold back. "I miss you."
He felt his cheeks go hot the second he said it. Erling smiled again.
"I miss you too," he replied. "I was serious when I said we're spending the next Christmas break at the boarding school."
Jude laughed and bit his lip. "Works for me. I think I can come up with a convincing excuse."
Erling's smile turned mischievous and Jude could almost feel like he was about to say something dirty, but a woman appearing on camera interrupted him.
“Okei, gje meg guttungen tilbake, du he hatt han heile kvelden," she said, and Erling looked up from Jude to her face. She leaned down a bit and Jude was surprised by how similar they looked as she looked at him. "Åh, kem e han fine vennen din?”
“Han e min kid no, gå vekk," Erling replied. "Og det e typen min.”
“Typen din? Sia når? Ka heite han?” She turned to Erling with one eyebrow raised and a smirk.
“Jude. Men han veit ikkje at han e typen min enno."
Jude tilted his head hearing his own name.
“Så sei det, då. E et mirakel å se deg nær fine gutta. Gje meg guttungen tilbake, han treng å spis," she held out her arms.
Erling moved Oskar to the other side. “Eg kan mata han. Gå tilbake te festen.”
“Viss han starte å grina fordi han e svolten kommer eg te å slå deg," she leaned down again until her face appeared on camera and waved at Jude. "Hei Jude!”
Jude smiled and waved back before she stood up and walked out of frame. He saw Erling stick his tongue out at her back before looking back at Jude, switching which arm Oskar was on.
"Your sister?" Jude asked.
"Yeah, Oskar's mom. She wanted to take him back."
"Hm," Jude raised an eyebrow. "And what were you guys talking about with me?"
Erling's eyes went wide. "You understand Norwegian?"
"Of course not, but I understand my name, duh."
Erling laughed and pushed the chair back a bit more, lifting Oskar into his arms and looking away from Jude. "None of your business what we talked about, mister. Google it."
Jude rolled his eyes. "Asshole."
Erling didn't bother to respond and started tossing Oskar into the air. Jude's heart almost came out of his mouth.
"You're gonna hurt him, Erling!" he said, a little scared.
"I'm not," Erling shook his head. "He likes it, look at the size of his smile."
And indeed, Oskar had a huge smile, letting out lots of giggles and little noises while Erling tossed him in the air and caught him back in his hands. Jude didn't think he'd survive this call; the fight earlier didn't even feel like it had happened.
"Does Gabrielle know you're treating her pup like that?" Jude smirked.
Erling stopped tossing Oskar in the air and looked at Jude suspiciously. "No, and you're not gonna tell her," Jude shrugged, as if to say 'no promises'.
Realistically, Jude had no way of telling Erling's sister that the blonde was throwing her son up and down, but it felt nice imagining that one day he'd have that kind of closeness with his family, it made Jude's heart feel warm.
"You and your sister look alike," he said.
"The whole family does," Erling said, getting up from the chair with Oskar on his lap. "Look at this." He turned around, walking to the fridge and grabbing a photo off the door, and came back to sit in front of the phone. "This is one of the last family photos we took before my mom got sick."
He held the photo up to the camera and Jude leaned closer to get a better look. He spotted Erling almost instantly; shorter hair, hugging a woman Jude would guess was his mom. She was wearing jeans and a floral shirt, blonde hair tied in a ponytail, and a big, shiny smile. Erling was taller than her.
"How old were you in this picture?" Jude asked.
"I was about to turn 15," he replied, starting to point at everyone else with his index finger. "That's my dad, Alfie. This tall one here is my older brother, Astor, and my sister-in-law. Then there's me, my mom Gry, Gabrielle, and my other sister-in-law — Gabrielle's wife and Oskar's other mom."
"I've never seen such a blonde family in my life," Jude laughed, and Erling joined in.
"A few weeks after this photo, Gabrielle announced she and her wife were expecting Oskar." He pulled the photo away from the camera, looking at it with a soft smile. Jude stared at his expression and Oskar's tiny hand curling into the alpha's hair. "My mom was so happy. She was really excited to be a grandma."
Jude wanted to hug him. "You and your mom look alike too."
Erling chuckled quietly. "Nah, I take more after my dad. But Gabrielle is the spitting image of her." He leaned the photo on the table and gently traced his mom's face with his finger, head tilted. "I miss her a lot. Everyone in the family does, honestly, but I'm sure it's way harder for my dad."
"Were they together for a long time?" Jude asked softly.
"More than 20 years." He finally moved Oskar's hand away from his hair when the baby started tugging hard; Jude waved again when Oskar noticed the camera. "And it wasn't just marriage, they were mated, too."
"Wow," Jude raised his eyebrows, surprised. "That must've been really hard."
"It was awful," Erling looked back at Jude's face. "At the time it was just me, her, and my dad living together. When it happened, Astor and Gabrielle had to move back in with us. My dad got really, really depressed. I thought he—" Erling stopped himself, frowning, then shook his head and kept talking. "Anyway, things got better over time, but it's the kind of missing someone that never fully goes away."
"I can't even imagine," Jude swallowed hard, feeling a lump in his throat. "I'm sorry, Erling."
Erling shrugged and smiled. "It's okay." He turned back to Oskar and leaned down to sniff his neck again. "I'm gonna go feed him. Can I call you later? Or are you gonna sleep early?"
Jude nodded way more enthusiastically than he'd like to admit. "Sure, you can call me whenever you want."
Erling stared at him through the camera for a few moments, head tilted to the side, small smile on his lips. He glanced at something behind the camera and leaned in, speaking quietly:
"I wanna try something when we get back to the boarding school," he waggled his eyebrows suggestively as he finished.
Jude immediately got shy. "How do you have the nerve to say stuff like that while holding a baby?"
Erling laughed. "Relax, he only speaks Norwegian."
"He speaks?" Jude asked, surprised for some reason.
Erling stared at him like Jude was an alien. "Of course he speaks, Jude, he's not a doll,” he turned to Oskar. “Kan du seie Jude?”
As if calling Jude an idiot, Oskar decided this was the perfect moment to say: "Jude!"
"See?" Erling replied, looking satisfied.
"I thought he was too little to be talking already," Jude mumbled, embarrassed.
"You don't know anything about kids, huh?" He shook his head and laughed again, then squinted. "Don't change the subject, I'm just giving you a heads up."
Jude shifted on the bed, a mix of nerves and anticipation running through his body. He licked his lips before asking:
"And what is it that you wanna try?"
Erling let out a little snort through his nose and stood up from the chair with Oskar in one arm. He reached out with his free hand and grabbed the phone, bringing it close to his face to speak while walking out of the kitchen:
"You'll see." The sounds of conversation started getting louder; Erling got close enough to the phone that Jude could only see the curve of his jaw and a good part of his neck skin; all the little marks Jude had left on him were already gone. "All I'll say is prepare your ass."
Jude's eyes went so wide they started to burn. "What?"
Erling laughed loudly and hung up without answering; Jude doesn't even know how long he stared at his phone screen without moving or blinking, frozen on the bed like a statue.
I'm fucked, he thought. Hopefully not in the literal sense.
The rest of the week went by slowly and torturously. He decided to just ignore the heavy mood at home and act like the Christmas dinner fiasco never happened; Jobe and his parents seemed eager to forget too, so the day after Christmas, everyone sat down for breakfast at the table like none of them had gone to bed crying.
Jude didn't know how the conversation ended, and Jobe didn't seem super excited to tell either, so he decided it was better to talk to his younger brother when they were back at the boarding school.
He slept in Erling's shirts almost every day of those two weeks, so much that the other alpha's scent was almost fading from them. Every time Jude sniffed the fabric and smelled more of his own scent than the blonde's, the more Jude wanted the days to pass so he could see Erling again.
On New Year's, as soon as the clock struck midnight, Jude pulled his phone out and opened the chat with Erling; he was typing the message when Erling's arrived first:
erling 💕🥰
happy new year baby
i can't wait to see you
Jude's smile nearly split his face in two.
jude
happy new year, erl
me too
i can't wait
i think i got used to sleeping to your snores
erling 💕🥰
nice try
i know i don't snore
jude
yes you do lol
i'll record it one day to prove it
erling 💕🥰
yeah, i'm also gonna record something super cool to show you
Jude quickly locked his phone screen and shoved it in his pocket when his mom came over to hug him; his cheeks were burning and his fingers were twitching. He tried his hardest to control the scent coming off him so his mom wouldn't notice anything.
He'd be lying if he said he wasn't nervous about what could happen when he got back to the boarding school. The only tricky part for Jude when he realized he liked other alphas, was when he figured out how two alphas actually have sex with each other.
In theory, it wasn't that different from how a male omega and a male alpha fuck; the parts are all the same, but the crucial difference is that omegas could get wet and are basically built for it, whereas Jude... not so much. Sure, there were really good lubricants out there and he'd seen a few... ahem, videos about the subject, but if he was being honest, he'd always imagined himself being the one on top, pinning down another alpha underneath him, all clingy and whiny while Jude slowly fucked into him until he got used to it. He'd never even stopped to imagine that he could be the whiny, clingy alpha in question.
And even though Erling was bigger than him in more ways than one, he'd never stopped to think he'd be the one getting fucked by the blonde. Mostly because he'd never really imagined the two of them having actual sex. When he thought about Erling, he imagined them kissing, scent marking each other, and jerking off together — that was basically everything they'd done so far. It wasn't that Jude didn't want more, he just never stopped to think about the logistics.
But Jude was suffering from anticipation again; Erling hadn't even said what he wanted to do, and "prepare your ass" could mean anything, right?
Right?!
Jude couldn't stop thinking about it. On the 4th, while his mom drove him and Jobe to the boarding school, Jude felt like he was gonna fly out the car window from all the butterflies in his stomach. He knew Erling was already at the school; he'd arrived the day before and sent Jude a photo of their nest already made, with the caption: 'just missing your scent now to be perfect.' Seriously, what this boy did to Jude should be considered a crime.
Just thinking that Erling had gone to the trouble of getting everything ready for when Jude arrived, tidying up the dorm, stealing his clothes, making it obvious he missed Jude's scent around him — that alone was enough for Jude to convince himself it was worth at least trying to be the bottom. And also, nothing stopped them from switching positions, right?
Jude said goodbye to his mom in the parking lot and followed Jobe to the main hall. The two of them said a quick goodbye before heading to their own dorms; Jude's heart was racing with both fear and excitement. He walked into the dorm and let his shoulders drop when he saw Erling wasn't there.
Jude shut the door and left his suitcase near the dresser, staring at the mattresses and blankets on the floor of the dorm with a big, goofy smile on his face. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath — it had only been a day since Erling got back, so his scent hadn't taken over the whole room yet, but what Jude could already smell was enough to make his body relax and something hot start spreading through his stomach.
He took off the hoodie he was wearing and opened one of the dresser drawers to put the piece of clothing away; he was wondering if he should unpack now or take a shower and eat something, when the dorm door opened.
He lifted his face and saw Erling standing in the doorway; phone in his right hand and earphones in his ears. He stared at Jude, surprised for a few moments, before opening a huge smile and taking the earphones out. Jude smiled back as the blonde closed the door and tossed the items onto his own dresser, then walked over to Jude and hugged him around the waist.
Jude put both hands around his jaw and tilted his head up to kiss him, a satisfied sigh escaping his nose as Erling's tongue tangled with his. The other alpha bent down a bit, grabbed Jude by the thighs, lifted him up, making Jude let out a surprised noise before wrapping his legs around Erling's waist.
"You have no idea how much I missed you," Erling said against his mouth, walking Jude through the dorm until he was standing in the middle of their nest.
Jude smiled against his lips. "Yeah?" he asked back, kicking off his shoes with his feet and tossing them somewhere in the dorm. "Very much?"
"Very, very much," Erling emphasized, lowering Jude in the middle of the blankets and pillows and lying down between his legs. "Missed your scent, your smile, your voice, your mouth. I think I'm gonna die this summer break."
Fuck, Jude hadn't even stopped to think about summer break. Normally he'd be excited to go home and spend a whole month away from this place, but now the idea caused more anxiety than any good feeling. A whole month away from Erling? When Jude could barely handle two weeks?
"I think I’ll die too," Jude said, his hands sliding down Erling's back, over the curve of his waist and ass, slipping inside the blonde's shorts and pulling him closer by the ass to press Erling's erection against his own. "I don't even wanna think about it right now."
"Hm," Erling smiled against his mouth again, starting to move his hips slowly. "Then I'll give you something else to think about, then."
Unlike what Jude had imagined, they didn't do anything other than kissing and rubbing on each other for almost two whole hours. When they finally pulled apart, Jude's lips were swollen and numb, and the two of them had already mixed their scents all over the nest.
Erling helped Jude unpack the suitcase and the backpack, and then they both went down to the cafeteria to eat something. Declan and Jordan were at the cafeteria too, so Jude and Erling sat down at the table with the two of them.
When night came, Jude had even forgotten why he was so nervous earlier. The mood was cozy and Jude was lying with his head on the blonde's shoulder; they'd already had dinner, taken a shower, and now they were watching some stupid TikTok videos on Jude's phone, wrapped in the blankets with their legs tangled together.
At some point, Erling had stretched out one hand to lift Jude's chin and start kissing him. Jude tossed the phone somewhere on the mattress and didn't waste any time holding Erling by the hair.
Erling was shirtless and just in sweatpants, so his whole body and skin were very easy for Jude's restless fingers to reach. He squeezed, pulled, and pinched until his heart was satisfied; his mouth sliding from Erling's lips to the blonde's neck, rubbing his face against his right scent gland and marking the other alpha with his mouth and his own scent. Jude wasn't even shy about hiding that he was turned on; he pressed his cock against Erling's, his hands on the blonde's waist, feeling him grind and press back.
"Can I try something?" Erling's voice came out breathless while Jude bit and licked his neck.
Jude took a deep breath. "You can," he whispered back.
Erling kissed him one more time before pulling back and kneeling on the mattress between Jude's legs. Jude stared at his body with a mouth full of water, his broad shoulders and messy hair, his red neck and goosebumped skin, his erection marking through the sweatpants. He bit his lip and lifted his hand to touch Erling's cock while the blonde stretched toward his desk drawer, groaning as he searched for something.
He found what he wanted and closed the drawer before turning around; Jude tried his best not to freeze on the mattress when he saw Erling holding a bottle of lube, but he couldn't hide it.
"I'm not gonna—" Erling started to say and cut himself off, his cheeks turning red as he shifted on the mattress, shy. "I'm not gonna... put it inside you," he looked away and ran a hand over his neck. "I just wanna like... rub my cock on your ass a little bit."
Jude blinked a few times.
"Oh," he finally said, after a moment of silence. Relieved and embarrassed at the same time. "Okay, that's fine."
Erling looked back at his face, eyebrows raised, surprised that Jude had agreed. "Really?"
Jude nodded, shrinking his shoulders. He cleared his throat and looked at the lube in Erling's hand. "What's that?" He reached out to grab the lube and started reading the label. Smooth texture, water-based, blah blah blah, until something made him stop and raise his eyebrows. "Unscented?"
"Yeah? Why would it have a scent?" he asked, looking at Jude with a confused expression.
Jude shifted on the mattress, nervous. "I thought you'd want, I don't know..." he cleared his throat. "I thought you'd want to smell the scent of slick and omega while we do this."
Erling's expression went from nervous to confused, then surprised, and finally irritated. He furrowed his brows and huffed, shaking his head.
"And why would I want to smell an omega scent on my alpha? Are you trying to piss me on purpose?" he said, jaw tight.
My alpha.
My alpha.
My alpha.
Jude pulled him by the neck hurriedly; their lips collided hard enough for Jude to be sure one of them would have a bruise tomorrow, but he didn't care. Erling let out a moan in his mouth, surprise mixed with pain from the violence of the kiss, but he didn't pull away. He kissed Jude with the same enthusiasm, his hands going for the hem of his sweatpants while Jude felt his mind float with what the blonde had said.
My alpha. Fuck, at that moment Jude would do anything Erling asked, without a shadow of hesitation. Erling could even say he'd changed his mind and really wanted to fuck him, and Jude would turn around and stick his ass out for him to fuck without thinking twice.
He pushed Erling's hands away from the hem of his pants and lowered the fabric himself, kicking the sweatpants and underwear somewhere in the middle of the blankets, handing the lubricant back to Erling's hands, still kissing him as if the blonde were going to disappear if Jude pulled away.
"You liked what I said that much?" Erling asked against his mouth, a smug smile appearing on his lips as he ran his hands along the inside of Jude's thighs.
"So fucking much," Jude didn’t even tried to deny. "You have no idea, Erling. You have no fucking idea what you do to me."
Erling let out another little laugh, more shy this time, and put a hand on Jude's waist to make him turn onto his stomach; Jude accepted the position change without hesitation, pulling one of the pillows and placing it under his hips, snuggling in until he was comfortable in the nest.
"Fuck," he heard Erling curse softly, throwing one leg over Jude's thighs and squeezing his ass hard with one hand. "I love your ass."
Jude bit his lips to hold back a smile. "There's nothing special about it."
"Only you think that," Erling let out air through his nose, and Jude turned his head back to look at him.
The blonde squeezed his ass for a few more moments, alternating sides, before sighing again and lowering his sweatpants to the middle of his thighs. Jude looked at his cock with his heart pounding hard, biting his lip more while he stared at the wet tip. So big; there was nothing Jude liked more in the world.
Erling uncapped the lube and spread some on his left hand; his blue eyes looked up to meet Jude's while he spread the liquid on his own erection and started jerking off. Jude let out a quiet moan and let his head drop onto the pillow, watching hypnotized, his own cock pressed against the pillow under his hips; he was so wet it was leaking.
"Can I?" he asked, completely unnecessary since there was no chance Jude would back out now.
Jude nodded quickly, his eyes jumping between Erling's face and his cock. The blonde set the lube aside in the middle of the blankets and grabbed Jude's ass with both hands, taking a deep breath as he spread the other alpha's cheeks apart a bit to start sliding between them.
The shock that ran through Jude's body made him tremble and close his eyes involuntarily, all his attention dropping to the spot where they were touching; the strength of his grip on Jude's ass, the shaky sigh that escaped his lips, the feeling of him sliding and touching Jude in a place he'd never imagined he'd want to be touched — everything was so good, so intense; Jude couldn't help but bite the pillow.
Erling started slow, cursing softly and staring at where they were touching with pupils very dilated, lips slightly parted. Slowly, as the two of them put their shyness aside, he got more comfortable moving faster and moaning a bit louder; squeezing Jude so hard it was like he wanted to take a piece of Jude away with him. He could feel the tip of Erling's cock rubbing against his hole with every movement, and soon the long, calm slide gave way to a desperation and clumsiness that were making Jude's head spin.
"So good, Jude," Erling moaned, a bit louder than he should've, considering the dorm walls weren't the thickest. "You gonna let me fuck you one day? Gonna let me knot inside you?"
Jude buried his face in the pillow, both from shame and the nearly uncontrollable lust that ran through his body. He gave up holding back and put a hand under his own body, grabbing his own dick and starting to jerk off in the same rhythm as the other alpha's movements.
He didn't answer, but he couldn't help but imagine. At that moment, he'd let Erling fuck him as much as the other alpha wanted, but he thought that was a thought to have when his mind wasn't so taken by lust, when he probably wouldn't even remember his own surname.
It'd be easier if I were an omega, he started thinking, almost delirious as he felt his eyes roll back with Erling's scent taking over every sense of him. I'd get wet for him all the time; he could just slide right inside me.
This kind of thing had never, ever crossed Jude's mind before. He'd never felt inadequate or wrong in his secondary gender — quite the opposite, actually. He really liked being an alpha, and he'd never had problems accepting that he liked other alphas like him. This was just more proof that Erling had messed with Jude in a way that wasn't normal; he'd just shown up one day in August, turned Jude's world upside down, stolen all his control and all the plans he had for himself, and left in its place this suffocating, desperate, wonderful, and perfect feeling that Jude never wanted to stop feeling, never wanted to go without.
He could do anything, be anything, as long as this continued to be his and only his for the rest of the year. The rest of his life. Forever.
"Can I cum?" Erling asked, his hands still squeezing Jude's ass hard enough for Jude to think there'd be a mark left behind; so polite, so beautiful, mine.
"Yes," Jude's voice came out breathless and a bit broken as he started jerking off faster to try and match the other alpha's orgasm.
Erling moved one more time, and the tip of his erection pressed harder against Jude's hole. Jude held his breath, mouth falling open as Erling's cock slipped over it and he felt the blonde cum all over his back.
Jude came almost at the same time just with the sound Erling let out; hoarse, deep, and masculine, his scent taking over every corner of the dorm, his hands still holding Jude's body, like the other alpha was going to disappear.
Jude's mind short-circuited a bit while he came in the pillow, squeezing the base of his own cock and feeling where his knot would be after his first rut. I hope we go into rut together, Jude thought as Erling collapsed on the mattress beside him, breathing hard and with a red face. I want to be the first and only one to see that.
Jude gathered all the strength he had left to move and lay his head in the curve of Erling's neck, trying to catch his breath and gather strength to go clean up. The other alpha threw an arm around his shoulders, pulling him closer, tilting his face to kiss Jude's mouth; warm, perfect, he smelled like all the deepest desires Jude had ever had in his life.
He didn't know who started purring first, him or Erling, but when Jude realized it, he was already rubbing his face against the blonde's neck, grabbing him by the waist without caring about the dirty hand; desperate to disappear inside his skin.
"That was the best thing I've ever felt in my life," Erling said after several minutes, when they'd both finally managed to calm their breathing.
Me too, Jude thought but couldn't say, too busy looking at his beautiful smile, the sweaty skin, and feeling his chest vibrate. I think I love you. I hope summer never comes.