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Kon was like the anchor of Tim’s life, and Tim was like the light in Kon’s. They’ve always been there for each other, they’ve always been the bestest of friends, they’ve always been inseparable.
People said that Kryptonians and Bats tend to get along despite their differences, and they weren’t wrong. At some points in time, people would even suspect that they could potentially become… lovers!? But everyone else only laughed at that idea. Kon laughed at it as well, but deep down, he wished that it were true.
He loved Tim long before he even understood how it was okay for two people of the same gender to date. His love for Tim only grew stronger and stronger as the years went by, and he could even quietly admit that he was somewhat… happy when Tim and Stephanie broke up all those years ago, but has he ever confessed his feelings to him? No.
Not once did he buy him flowers or chocolate, only the occasional gift that could easily be mistaken as “something between friends.” Not once did he make a flirty comment. However, the times he did could certainly pass as a joke. Not once did he reveal his romantic interest in Tim; he’s gotten exceptionally well at masking and hiding his feelings.
He didn’t know what his plan was. Should he keep this profound love for his friend a secret, an idea that only lurked in his dreams? Or should he confess and risk their already amazing relationship over his own needs?
The decision has been lingering in his mind since forever, and it has only gotten harder when he had received the heartbreaking news that year.
A year ago from now exactly, Tim came to him with the news that he had gotten a boyfriend. His name was Bernard Dowd.
Kon cried to sleep that night, and he feels incredibly wrong in the angry sense for doing so. Yes, he’s happy that his best friend finally felt comfortable enough with a person to start calling him his boyfriend, but his heart aches the more he thinks about it. About how he wasted all those years hiding his feelings. Because he was such a coward, he had lost the one and only chance he had to spend the rest of his life as Timothy Drake’s partner.
The options linger in his mind again, as he stares into the red sunset, laying on nothing but air, suspended hundreds of feet over the giant city of Metropolis. Keep his feelings for Tim a secret, or confess his love even when it’s already too late?
A part of him even considers purposely breaking Tim and Bernard apart just so he could regain his chances back at being the love of the former Robin’s life, but he knew this was just a selfish desire and that he would emotionally crush the two all for his own needs. That was a wrong thing to do, and even if he has done a lot of bad things already, hurting his friend’s heart was just not a line he’s ever willing to cross.
Perhaps he should just keep his love for Tim a secret, a secret he would carry to his grave. He’s not willing to confess, because confessing only means a possibility of ruining their friendship and how they view each other. Their friendship means too much to him. In some ways, this sole relationship he has might as well have saved him from making a lot of stupid decisions.
As his mind was drifting away from this universe, a sudden buzz in his left pocket pulled his thoughts right back into his head. He lets out a tired exhale as he puts his hand into his pocket, pulling out his phone from his leather jacket. His heart dropped to his stomach the moment the screen lit up and he saw that notification.
Tim: Hey… You may know this already, but it’s me and Bern’s anniversary. We both thought it would be fun if you joined us for dinner. After all, you’ve been my friend for so long, this is kind of like an appreciation feast, you know?
He hesitated a bit but eventually opened the messaging app. It was true… he was invited to dinner for Tim and Bernard’s anniversary. He didn’t know how to feel, or if he should even accept it or not. He could easily make up an excuse, saying he was needed for a mission or that he was off-world… but Tim was smart. In fact, Tim was the smartest person he knew. He would quickly realise that he was lying, and what would happen then? He doesn’t want his friend to think that he purposely declined his invitation because he was being rude or that he didn’t want to hang out. Truthfully, he did want to hang out, but it would just be awkward with Bernard.
Gosh, what was Tim thinking inviting him for this!? He’s supposed to be the smart one, he’s supposed to know how horrible of a situation it would be to invite a friend over on a date with your boyfriend, especially when that same friend has had a crush on him for years… But Tim doesn’t know that. He doesn’t know that his best friend actually has been head over heels in love with him for eons. He probably just thinks it would be a fun little hangout.
His thumbs hover over the digital keyboard, and after a long hesitation, he reluctantly started to type.
Kon: SURE!! Which restaurant do you have in mind???
Tim: Remember the place that was rebuilt after getting destroyed by our fight with Firefly last month? Bernard loves the food there, and so do I, so I thought it would be a great place to eat and spend the night.
Tim’s response was fast, as if he had been staring at his phone and waiting for Kon to reply. It only made him a bit suspicious, but he shrugged it off. He was probably just excited. After all, this was
his anniversary.
Kon replied with a thumbs up emoji before turning off his phone and placing it back into his jacket pocket. As much as he didn’t want to go, he knew that he should be a good friend and go anyway to show his support and show how much he cared for Tim. He would have to change out of his outfit first, though… As careless as he could be sometimes, he wasn’t going to cause a ruckus by showing up at a restaurant as Superboy.
Tim’s heart was racing as he sent that text. Inviting his best friend on a date with his boyfriend, and especially on their anniversary was not something smart to do, which was ironic because Tim was supposed to be the smart one who makes the right call on hard decisions like these… right?
He isn’t the egoistical type of guy, but he knows that he’s intelligent in many ways… It’s kind of hard not to get the gist when you’re constantly getting praised by friends, family, and even strangers. He has an amazing sense of awareness of his surroundings, he’s a quick thinker, he’s a good puzzle solver, he can read emotions well, and yet… he supposes that he isn’t very smart when it comes to relationships. He’s always been aware of how hard it was for him to develop friendships and let alone keep them, but he really realised how terrible he was at this when he and Stephanie broke up all those years ago.
But the thing is, it wasn’t even meant to be his fault. He needed a break, and Steph understood that. She was the most supportive and understanding person ever, and she still continued to support Tim when he came out as bisexual and started dating Bernard, but he still can’t help but feel like a jerk. Stephanie should be mad at him, and yet she isn’t, and Tim should be happy about it, but he isn’t.
He’s scared. Scared that he isn’t a good friend. He has a tendency to drive away the people he loves whenever he becomes an emotional trainwreck, because he keeps all those negative emotions to himself and he distances himself from others to keep himself from harming them, and yet he still somehow does. He’s horrified at the idea of losing any of his friends because of some stupid, small, uncontrollable mistakes, and the one he’s the most scared of losing is Kon.
Kon has been his best friend for years, always fighting by his side and putting up with him at his lowest. He’s been a more supportive person than his family even, and Tim is so grateful to have him in his life… though he doesn’t know if he shows that gratitude enough for it to be obvious how thankful he really is to have someone like him by his side. Ever since he reunited with Bernard, he’s been spending more time with him outside of fighting crime than with anyone else.
And why wouldn’t he? Bernard’s a wonderful person. He’s one of the only people that Tim found a sense of comfort in. He feels as if he could freely be himself around him, and he loves that feeling. For so long he has hidden who he truly is because he is scared that people won’t like the real him, yet Bernard has somehow broken that invisible wall that hid his true self and truly reached out to him. Every night, the moment he finished patrol or whatever crime he had to deal with, he’d immediately text Bernard to see if he’s awake so he could chat with him.
But has he shown enough love to his friends than he had shown to his boyfriend? A person would understand when a friend starts spending more time with their loved one, but it always gets to a point where it eventually grows to that friend believing that they are just not important anymore. What about his team, Young Justice? When was the last time they got together as friends and actually hung out? And what about his family? When was the last time they had a family movie night?
DING!
A message from Kon… a reply to his question. But he looked at the time, and it stayed the same. Has it really only been a few seconds since he first sent that text? With all that thinking and stressing, it felt like it had been over an hour, and yet it hasn’t.
Kon: SURE!! Which restaurant do you have in mind???
Kon’s reply was simple, straight-forward. He accepted the invitation, and Tim was happy, but stress only continued to build up in his stomach as he thought about the ways it could go wrong.
He tried not to think, to stop his mind from making up fake scenarios, and instead quickly typed a response to his friend’s text.
Tim: Remember the place that was rebuilt after getting destroyed by our fight with Firefly last month? Bernard loves the food there, and so do I, so I thought it would be a great place to eat and spend the night.
He typed quickly and sent it without a second’s hesitation, but the moment it occurred to him what he wrote, he cursed himself internally for how horrible of a text that was. Why did he abbreviate so much? Tim wasn’t much of a texter, and everybody knew that. Great, now Kon will know something was up with him.
He tried to push it aside however and focused back on his phone. Kon reacted to his last message with a thumbs up emoji, and just like that, Tim sighed in relief that the scary part was over and all he had to do now was wait and hope that things go well.
But why was he stressing so much about this small situation anyway? Maybe he misses his friends and feels bad that he hasn’t paid attention to them much lately, or maybe he’s scared of how the whole dinner will go in the first place. Gosh, why do emotions have to be so complicated?
He then felt a hand on his shoulder and jumped, only to remember Bernard was next to him, and they were standing right outside the restaurant, waiting for a waiter to let them in. He’s been overthinking so much, drowning in his own stressful thoughts, that he had forgotten where he was and who was around him.
“You okay?” Bernard asked softly, a look of slight concern in his eyes.
Tim turned his phone off and nodded, relaxing his tense shoulders.
“Yes, sorry… Just overthinking,” he answered. “Do you think inviting Kon over was a good idea?”
“You thought it was a good idea, and I trust you,” he replied. “I don’t know much about that guy… haven’t really interacted with him since you first introduced me to him all those months ago, so it would be nice to meet him again.”
Right. Kon and Bernard have only met once, and it was to introduce them to one another. Gosh, why didn’t Tim remember that? Now he’s almost sure this night won’t end well, but it’s too late to tell him not to come, because first of all, that would just be rude… cancelling last second on a friend. And second, with how fast Kryptonians move, Kon would probably already be nearby by now.
And just as that thought protruded in his mind, he hears a familiar call from the left. Although it was late, there were still a couple of people out, either hanging out with a loved one, taking a walk, or simply enjoying the nice, fresh air. Amongst those people, however, stood out a face Tim could recognize from even the crowdiest of rooms.
Kon.
When Tim would call the Kryptonian for help in uniform, he would rush to his side in seconds no matter where he was on the globe, making the biggest and flashiest entrance whilst conjuring up a snarky comment as well. He would understand not doing that usual routine when they were simply meeting up, in civilian clothes, in public at a restaurant, but he can’t help but miss that annoyingly comforting entrance. When was the last time they fought crime together?
He really needs to contact his friends more often.
“Heya, Tim!” Kon exclaimed happily as he walked up to him, waving his hand around as if he were a young child.
That’s one thing Tim loved about that guy. Kon would always make him laugh at even the most stressful situations. And although he would often act on impulse and make stupid decisions, that charm was the one thing that made him special.
He returned the wave and smiled as Kon stopped next to him, and that’s when he realised that he wasn’t wearing his signature round shades. He looked into his eyes, and that’s when he truly realised how beautiful they really were.
Kryptonians all have magical and gorgeous eyes, shining so brightly as if they were made of the stars of many galaxies, but he never once got the chance to really look into the eyes of Conner Kent. It was mesmerizing in some way.
“Hi, Conner! Nice meeting you again,” Bernard smiled as he reached his hand out to shake the Kryptonian’s hands.
Kon examined him for a second before finally returning the handshake, giving him an awkward smile. Tim couldn’t blame him for that, though. This was only their second time meeting, he’d feel a bit awkward as well if he was in any of their positions.
There wasn’t much to talk about other than catching up, but they still chatted for a while before a waiter finally called for them and gestured for them to follow her to their seats.
It was an hour past the regular dining time, but the restaurant was still somewhat crowded with families, friends, and other people. Tim couldn’t blame them, it’s hard to find a cheap restaurant here in Gotham that still served high quality food that didn’t poison you after just one bite.
They eventually made it to their table and took a seat. It got quiet after that, an awkward silence filling the air as they ran out of stuff to talk about.
The dinner was going exactly like Kon had expected. They have tried bringing up topics to talk about, but it quickly died out. He was always good at talking to people and making new connections, but somehow, all those social skills disappear whenever he tries to speak with Bernard. The only reasonable thing he thought to do was to just go silent and let Tim enjoy this anniversary with his boyfriend.
The food they ordered had come not long ago, so Kon distracted himself by focusing on the food, but he couldn’t bring himself to eat despite it being decently good. His stomach sank every time he heard Tim giggle at a silly comment Bernard made, and he could only bite the inside of his mouth to make sure he didn't accidentally cry in front of the two and embarrass himself every time he sees them flirting and hold hands.
And although he hates to admit it, he is sure that he is acting this way because of this extreme jealousy he feels towards Bernard. He doesn’t dislike the guy, he feels as if they could get along pretty well if he tried hard enough, but every time he sees him and Tim together, hugging, kissing, flirting, holding hands… it makes his chest tighten up and his heart races. Deep inside him, there’s constantly a little voice screaming how it should’ve been him, how he should be in the blond’s place, and yet he’ll forever be stuck with the “best friend” label.
It hurts, it really sucks, but he learned to deal with it.
So now, he is poking at his food with his fork, staring at the plate and drowning out the sounds in the room. The less he listens, the less it’ll hurt.
“—salt, please?”
A voice snapped him out of his brooding and he realised way too late that he hadn’t heard Bernard talk to him.
“Sorry?” He replied, scratching the back of his head awkwardly.
“Can you pass the salt, please?” He repeated.
“Oh.”
Kon looked to the side and grabbed the small container of salt to pass it over to Bernard. The boy smiled and thanked him before going back to doing his own thing. Kon could only think to look out of the window and stare at the passerbys.
“We don’t really know each other well, uhm… What about some icebreakers?” Bernard asked, placing the salt back on the table.
Kon turned his head back to look at Bernard only to glance down at the table again as he met with the boy’s eyes. Tim concentrated on eating, but Kon could tell that he was secretly listening to them talk and hoping for them to somehow bond.
“Oh, uh… sure,” he replied.
“I noticed you haven’t touched your food much, so I assume you’re either not hungry or you don’t like it. What is your favourite food, if I may ask? I specialize in cooking, maybe I can make you something the next time we meet.”
“I like burgers… and rhubarb pie,” he replied with an uncharacteristically quiet voice.
Kon looked to the side and focused on the silver knife laying on the untouched napkin, and although he couldn’t see the blond’s face or expression, he had a pretty good guess that Bernard was expecting a more engaging answer.
“Kon, are you okay? You’re acting—” Tim started to speak, but got cut off as a man with a voice he didn’t recognise approached them whilst coughing like he had been choking on water… or perhaps his own saliva.
The man reeked of alcohol, the smell reaching him before he even had the chance to lift his head up to look at the stranger walking towards them.
The man looked like any average Gothamite, and although confused looking, alcohol-smelling, drunk middle-aged men were a fairly common sighting in the city, the fact that he was approaching them in this restaurant full of people was in fact ever so slightly concerning.
“Hey! Hey, you guys,” the man spoke loud enough for the neighbouring tables to glance at them in curiosity.
“Can we help you?” Tim asked, seemingly trying to not provoke the man as he spoke with a steady voice.
Kon knew how dangerous the city was and how easily you can accidentally pick a fight with the wrong person by even just simply looking at them in a slightly weird way. And the fact that there weren’t superheroes at the moment means that they would not be able to fight him without causing any suspicion amongst the other people in the room.
“You… I saw you two holdin’ hands and flirtin’,” he slurred as he waved a finger at both Tim and Bernard.
Yeah. He was definitely super drunk.
“Yeah. What’s wrong with it?” Bernard spoke, getting a bit defensive now.
“What are you, gay or sumthin’? That’s disgusting,” he groaned, putting his hands on the table.
Kon couldn’t tell if it was to steady himself from falling over or if it were to look menacing. Either way, the man being here alone was annoying him enough, and he already knew where this conversation was about to go. He’s met a few homophobic people before and he doesn’t feel like sticking around long enough for this to escalate any further.
He slammed his hands on the table before Tim or Bernard could reply and stood up, staring at the drunk man the entire time.
“As much as I would love to fight right now, this is not the time. Can’t you just, I dunno… go somewhere else?” he asked, trying to control the volume of his voice despite being pissed off at the same time.
He usually loves the attention given to him at any occasion, and he’d always embrace it, but the last thing he wanted at this moment was for them to cause a scene. After all, he was already kind of in a bad mood, and their jobs as civilians with secret identities is to not attract any attention to themselves while out in public without a suit and mask on.
That act only made the man angrier, however, as he stood up straighter to make himself look stronger.
“Don’t run away from this, I’m jus’ sayin’ that these two homosexuals should do their li’l gay stuff elsewhere. There’s people tryna eat, y’know?” He spat, waving his hands around as he scrunched his face in disgust, grimacing at the two.
Kon turned his head to glance at his side and he could see Bernard ready to leap up and tackle the man down, and he was willing to watch that happen but he knew that the only possible outcomes wouldn’t be good.
Tim stood up as well and let out an annoyed exhale before placing a hand on Bernard’s shoulder to calm him down.
“Come on guys, let’s just pay for the food and leave. We really don’t need to deal with this right now,” he said disappointedly as he took out his wallet and opened it.
“Yeah, that’s right. You faggots better get the hell outta ‘ere!” He spat.
And just like that, with those words said, Bernard leaped up and started arguing with the man, screaming insults after insults at the man’s face as they went back and forth with offensive words and phrases. Tim dropped his wallet and pulled Bernard away from the man, gripping his arm tightly as if to tell him to calm down. And eventually, he did, thought only enough for him to stop cursing out at the man, who was still snarling at them.
“Hey, you and Conner should go wait outside. I’ll pay for the food and deal with him… Please, I don’t want this to be the reason our anniversary was a flunk,” he spoke quietly.
Bernard glanced at him like he wanted to protest but seemingly understood and nodded, gesturing for Kon to follow as he quietly walked out of the restaurant, but not without a few stares and murmurs amongst the people watching.
The chatter died out the moment they walked out, the cool air hitting Kon like a bullet as he realised how hot it was in the restaurant. It was kind of nice, though, being away from all the people and getting some fresh air. For the first time, it felt nice not having all the attention on him.
“You okay?” He asked after a bit of hesitating.
He didn’t exactly know what he was meant to ask Bernard after that, especially since they weren’t close, but he felt like not saying anything was worse than anything else.
Bernard looked at him and laughed half-heartedly.
“Ugh, yeah… Sorry. I was just so hyped for this day, because I love Tim, right? I couldn’t wait to have a fun anniversary with him, and especially with his best friend,” he started to rant, looking down as he swayed back and forth. “And I have been so scared as to how this day would go, because I really don’t want to somehow mess all this up and lose him. I guess I just— Sorry, I didn’t mean to vent like that. I guess today has just been kind of tiring. What about you?” He finally asked, looking over at Kon with a smile.
“Me?”
“Yeah, are you okay? It doesn’t take a detective to know that you’ve been acting off. Even if I don’t know you that well, I could tell something was bothering you,” he explained.
Kon looked to his side, facing away from Bernard as he thought of what to say.
“Yeah, something is bothering me, but I don’t… I don’t think you’d want to know.”
“Why not?” He asked.
“It’s about… It’s about Tim,” he sighed.
“What about him?” Bernard asked, a bit of caution in his voice now.
“I’m sorry, but I don’t think you should know about this… It’s probably for the best—”
“Hey. I know we don’t talk often, but I’m always here to listen. You could tell me what’s on your mind, it’s the least I could do for pouring my emotions on you all of a sudden a second ago,” he reassured him. “That and my awkward attempt at getting to know you better a minute ago.”
Kon looked over at Bernard again and he was slightly shocked by how sincere his expression was, as if he was actually willing to listen to him and help, and all of the sudden he feels bad for being jealous of him for so long despite not being able to control it.
His whole life, ever since he first opened his eyes, he’s been feeling this need to prove himself to everyone. To Lex, to Kal-el, to Lois, to the world. He needed to prove that he wasn’t just another Superman clone, that he was his own person with his own life, personality and feelings. This entire time, he’s been wanting to be Bernard so bad he has forgotten about his own life.
“It’s just… Keep this between us but, I need to confess that I’ve had a crush on Tim for longer than I could even remember, and I still do. Ever since he got together with you, I guess I’ve gotten a bit depressed and I’ve been feeling all these uncontrollable negative emotions. Of course, you and Tim are a cute couple, and I am so happy for you two and I will never want your relationship to end, but I’ve been keeping these feelings for him a secret for so long, I… I don’t want to keep them to myself anymore, so thanks for listening I guess,” he ranted.
He half-expected Bernard to get mad, to shout at him for “trying to steal his boyfriend,” but instead, the boy simply nodded and gave him an understanding smile.
“Of course, I’m glad you got that out. I won’t tell anyone, but I personally think that you yourself should go up to Tim and tell him that, it might feel better if you do. And it may be awkward, but if he were to somehow hear from someone else in the future, it would just be even worse,” he suggested. “If he is a good friend— and I know he is— he’d understand, and I’m sure that there would barely even be any tension or awkwardness between you two after a few weeks.”
“Not that I’m saying he isn’t loyal, but aren’t you scared that he’d… change his mind about his feelings after this?” He asked.
“I’d obviously be sad if he were to break up with me, but I’d still support him if he were to decide that he also has feelings for you. I’ve seen how you two talk and look at each other, and I’ve always assumed that it was just a really good friendship that you two share, but… I wouldn’t be surprised if he likes you,” he said, the sadness in his voice becoming evident despite his obvious attempt at hiding it.
“Hey, I know Tim more than you do, so you can trust me when I tell you that he will not ever leave you, especially not for me. He loves you, and I know that for sure,” he reassured.
Bernard opened his mouth to say something, but then quickly decided against it and instead smiled.
“Tim’s about to come out. Go talk to him about your feelings, and tell him I had to go and that we should make up for this tomorrow afternoon. Feel free to tag along as well!” He laughed.
Kon laughed as well, the jealousy he had towards Bernard suddenly all gone.
“Nah, I won’t show up tomorrow. You guys deserve to have your own fun. Be safe, though.”
Bernard smiled and waved goodbye before running off, Kon watching as the boy turned a corner and disappeared from view.
Tim took a deep breath as he walked out of the restaurant. He stayed back to pay for the food as well as argue with the drunk old man who decided to call them slurs, but it ended quickly when a worker jumped in and threatened to call the police for “causing a ruckus.”
He would want to forget about that, though, and enjoy the little time he has left with Bernard until he is forced to go back. But when he looked up, he could only spot Kon leaning against a street light, his boyfriend nowhere to be seen.
He walked up to Kon and looked around, a bit confused as to where Bernard had gone off to.
“Hey… where did Bernard go?” He asked as he stood himself next to the Kryptonian.
“He asked me to tell you that he had to go and that he’s willing to meet up tomorrow afternoon to make up for today,” he answered.
Tim lowered his head as he put his hands in his pocket, shivering a bit from the cold air that blew onto his skin.
Bernard had to leave? Gosh, he can’t help but feel incredibly dissapointed. He wanted this to be a fun night to celebrate their anniversary, but instead, a drunk old man had to come along and waste their time.
But Tim blamed himself more than anything. He should’ve picked a different time, a better location, a nicer place to celebrate. Bernard probably thought that this was the worst date ever.
“Tomorrow sounds nice… did he tell you where he wants to meet up?” He asked.
“He probably texted you, I don’t know,” he replied. “Hey… can I talk to you about something?”
Tim looked up to meet his face and noticed the visible distress he was in. Something was on his mind, and he couldn't help but feel a bit scared for what he was about to say next.
“Of course, what is it?” He asked cautiously, trying to make out the possible probabilities as to what he was about to say.
Kon looked into the distance, the wind blowing on his hair perfectly enough for Tim to be able to read his expression clearly. He was nervous… and Kon was never this nervous to tell him something unless it was personal.
“Bernard… he’s quite a special guy, huh?” He eventually spoke.
“Yeah…?” Tim replied, raising an eyebrow.
The Kryptonian swayed around on his feet for a few more silent seconds before finally glancing back at him and meeting with Tim’s eyes.
“You know how I told you I’d be happy, no matter who you chose?”
Tim nodded, but that question worried him enough that he felt his heart sink. Why was he asking this? Does he not like Bernard? If that’s the case, it probably won’t affect the future much, but Kon doesn’t seem like the type of person who would hate someone like Bern so easily after just their second meeting.
“Well…” he continued. “I always thought you would choose me.”
“Oh.”
Oh.
Kon had a crush on… him? For how long? Why did he only tell him this now? Based on his previous statements, he could only guess that this crush has been going on for a while now. So why was this the first time he’s hearing about this? And how did he not realise before? He’s a detective for crying out loud, he should notice things like this! Gosh, he had so many questions, yet his mouth couldn’t seem to sound any of them out.
Kon seemed to have guessed what he was thinking of by just looking at his shocked expression, and leaned his head back as he opened his mouth to explain.
“I’ve loved you since we first met, and I never confessed until now, because… I was scared. Scared of rejection, scared of what it would mean in the future, scared of how it would affect our relationship, because I knew deep down that you’d never feel the same way. The day you came out as bisexual was the day that I finally thought I’d have a chance, but then you met Bernard and you told me you started dating and I realised that I waited too long and missed the opportunity to ask you out. I bought you flowers that day… Threw them out the moment you left,” he started to explain.
“I’ve always had this headache of a decision lingering in my mind ever since the beginning; confess my love or leave it a secret. I didn’t want to confess, because along with my fears, I didn’t want to ruin your already perfect relationship with Bernard, so for the past years, I’ve been broken by my needs. I didn’t know when to give up, and I didn’t know how to live with all these bottled up feelings. But now that I’ve truly met Bern and really got a chance to think about all of this, I have decided that I am over it. My crush on you may stay, but I think in the past few months, I have learned to accept the fact that I won’t get anywhere by not moving on. So… yeah. I’m getting over you.”
Tim was truly flabbergasted. All of this was going on, and he never noticed!? But most importantly, Kon has been dealing with this burden for years, keeping it all to himself without anyone else questioning him or asking if everything was okay. But he had to admit, he masked it all way too perfectly, and that fact scared him a bit, because he wouldn’t know when his best friend was struggling. He wouldn’t know when he needed to help, to comfort him.
He thought about all the things he said, and he feels as if this had opened his eyes to a whole new subject. He’s been so focused on his own life, on learning new stuff everyday through fighting crime and patrolling with Bruce, he never realised how much stuff he could learn from his friends if he just paid attention a bit more. The strength of faith and the harshness of reality is really a pain in the ass, but it’s what we have to live through to learn and adapt through our past mistakes and make better decisions in the future.
“I… I never knew. I don’t know what to say about this,” the words stumbled out of his mouth as he rubbed the back of his neck, not daring to meet Kon’s eyes.
“Just… I hope we can still keep this amazing friendship and I hope knowing all of this didn’t change the way you see me as a person and a friend. I… I want to be alone for a bit—”
“Wait!” Tim stopped him before he could turn away. “Of course we can still be best friends, and although this may have changed the way I see you slightly, it changed for the better if anything. I get that you want some time alone… I respect that, but before you go, I just need to tell you that I love you and that you can always tell me anything, okay? We’re friends, you don’t need to feel the need to keep something hidden from me. Whatever happens, I’ll always think of you as my bestest of friend. Just… remember that.”
Kon gave him a smile and opened his arms, and for a second, they just hugged in silence before he eventually broke it and took a few steps back. He looked around, and after making sure nobody could see them, he flew off in a flash but not before waving goodbye.
Tim waved back and stared at the dark night sky where Kon had disappeared. He continued to stare even when the Kryptonian was long gone, focusing on the patterns in the sky and clouds. There weren’t any stars because of the horrible pollution in the city, but he remained mesmerized.
This anniversary may not have been the greatest, but at least this night was something memorable, a day Tim would never forget. Because even if he loves Bernard and forever will love him and remain loyal, he will forever find it hilarious that Conner Kent will never know that Timothy Drake had had a crush on Superboy for months that year they met.