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“You know, Father really doesn’t like it when you brood in the rafters.”
The voice echoing throughout the church startled Kurt from his thoughts. He glanced down over the side of the massive wooden beam to see a man with a pair of sunglasses and a white walking stick standing in the aisle. The man’s presence surprised him. He wouldn’t have thought anyone in New York would be visiting a Catholic church in the middle of the morning. Anyone, that was what the local Father said was common. But perhaps this man was not a common man.
“Many apologies, mien freund.” Kurt replied, not yet ready to leave the rafters. He was a newcomer to the city, and he didn’t want to cause any kind of stir. Standing in an ancient church looking like the devil had historically not worked out well for Kurt Wagner. But the man didn’t let him off the hook.
“If you don’t come down, I’ll have to tell on you. God’s honor and all.” The man replied with a lilt in his voice, clearly enjoying teasing the young mutant.
“God’s honor?” Kurt replied, also enjoying the humor and finally climbing down from his perch, careful to stay mostly in the shadows, “I’m afraid I’ve never heard of that.”
“Never heard of the eleventh commandment? Thou shall not sit in a holy ceiling?” The man cocked his head up at the now vacant spot in the rafters. Kurt burst out laughing. “I must have missed that one in seminary.”
“If you went to seminary, you are certainly doing better than me. I’m only here because I have a running bet with the Father of how many days other than Sunday I can show up to wrestle with God.”
The man laughed, but Kurt heard a little hitch in his voice. He let it pass, but the man was becoming more interesting by the second. “Well,” Kurt began, “You’ll have to come back another time if you want to see the Father. He stepped out for a coffee run.”
The man shook his head. “Father and his coffee. He’s got a bit of a problem. Not that I’m one to judge.”
“We all have our sins.” Kurt said quietly. There it was again, the hitch in the man’s voice. There was clearly something on his mind. While we’re here, Kurt thought, I may as well try to help him. “Did one of your problems bring you here on a Monday morning, when most people have a job to get to?”
“Interesting question coming from the man hiding in the corner. Come sit down if you want to talk. I won’t bite.”
Kurt thought about it for a moment, then went to join his new friend. He didn’t seem like the kind of person to be alarmed at the sight of a blue devil. After all, he lived in New York City. The place where strange people are born and bred as far as the world was concerned.
As it turned out, Kurt didn’t need to be worried about how his appearance would be taken. As he approached the man, he got a closer look at the object in his hand. What had seemed at a distance like a walking stick Kurt could now see was a cane for a blind man. The man continued to look forward as Kurt sat in the pew in front of him, and Kurt could see his reflection in the red lenses. Like Scott’s, thought Kurt.
“How did you know I was up there?” Kurt asked once he was settled in the pew. The man smiled. “I think the sound of breathing and quiet prayers in the ceiling would catch anyone’s attention.”
“Fair enough.” Kurt answered, pushing more of his smile into his voice so the man could easily follow the conversation. “So, do you have an answer for my earlier question?”
“I think I’m entitled to ask a few questions first, seeing as it is my church,” the man began, “Let’s start with your name.”
“Kurt Wagner.” Kurt replied as he held out his hand, realizing a moment too late that the man wouldn’t know he held it out, only somehow he did, and shook the outstretched palm amiably. Kurt thought the man would mention the fact that his hand only had three fingers, but no comment came. Perhaps he assumed it was a disability like his own.
“And yours?” Kurt countered.
“Matthew Murdock.” said the man.
“Any more questions for me, Mr. Murdock?” Kurt asked.
“Call me Matt. And I suppose I’m curious as to why, what was it you said, you are here on a Monday morning when most other people have a job to get to?”
“I am not like most other people.” Kurt said playfully.
“Oh, do tell.” Matt replied.
Kurt supposed there was no harm in telling him. The X-Men were famous before the fall of Genosha. Matt Murdock seemed like the kind of man to stay informed. Kurt was sure he knew all about what had been going on lately.
“I’m here to question God.” Kurt finally said. It all came pouring out in a moment. He told Matt all about what had happened in Genosha, about Gambit’s death, and about how worried he was for Rogue. It felt good to talk to someone on the outside of it all. Matt was a good listener.
“I saw our world crumble down to its worst qualities last week. I suppose I came here looking for a purpose in all of it.” Kurt said when he was done with his story.
Matt didn’t respond, so Kurt continued. “I’ve walked with God for many, many years. And I see his blessings easily, even in the hard things. When my mother abandoned me, I met a new family. When I was hated and chased away in my German monastery, I was given the chance to introduce the people there to mutants. There’s always been some good in the worst moments. I suppose I’m just having a hard time finding it this time.”
Kurt hadn’t poured his heart out like that for anyone but God in a long time. He wanted to stay strong for his family. But it felt good to get it all out in the open. Matt continued his silent, stoic demeanor. Kurt began to think he would never answer. Then he said:
“Are you sure there is a blessing this time?”
Kurt was taken aback. “I’m sorry?”
“Not a very Catholic answer, I know.” Matt said. “But one does have to wonder. Maybe the dark is just dark this time. The destruction of an entire country. The death of friends and family. Maybe this is just people doing what they do best. Being darkness without light.”
“A person doesn’t come to that conclusion without a lifetime of reasons.” Kurt said, working out the reason for that hitch in Matt’s voice.
“I certainly do have my reasons,” Matt said, “and we don’t have the time to get into all of them today. But as much as I believe in God’s blessings, don’t you think we kill his light with our darkness? Maybe we just cast too heavy a shadow this time.”
Matt Murdock had a way with words. Kurt thought about his answer for a long while, filling the church with pregnant silence. Finally, he spoke.
“Did you know some flowers grow better in shade, Mr.Murdock? And that some of the most interesting, intricate creatures live in the depths of the deepest ocean? The jungle floors are filled with darkness day by day as the trees block the sunlight, and yet there is so much life. I don’t believe there is any shadow God can’t bring light into, Matt. Not even one like Genosha.”
Matt smiled, then stood. “Thank you, Mr.Wagner. I… needed to hear that.” He started to leave, then turned and faced Kurt again. “I’ll be praying for you and the rest of the mutants, Kurt. I hope you find the blessing you’re looking for. And for what it’s worth, you’ve got a friend in New York City who’s always here to listen. One who had best be getting to that job he’s supposed to be doing.”
“It’s worth a lot, Matthew Murdock. Where might I find you, if not at an old Catholic church in the middle of the morning?”
“Nelson and Murdock, Attorneys at Law. If you need a friend or a lawyer, find your way there.”
With that, Matt turned and left the church, his cane clicking against the pews. Kurt watched him until he got into a taxi outside, then turned his attention to the front where the statue of Christ on the cross stood.
Lord, thought Kurt, thank you for the blessing.
With that, Kurt stood and disapeared, making his way back home.