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Shen Wenlang struggled to his bed; the almost immobilizing pain in his body paled in comparison to the agony he felt in his soul. The endless emptiness that filled every minute of his life was the punishment he so richly deserved.
Soon. He thought with both delight and sorrow. He had never been much of a believer in God, but now he clung with all his might to the faintest possibility that there was life after death and that he would soon be reunited with Gao Tu and their son.
His breathing became labored as he struggled to lie down in bed, with effort he laid his head on the pillow. He had survived three months. Less than the doctor who had treated him had predicted, more than he would have liked.
His mate-seeking syndrome had been difficult to manage while Gao Tu was missing, but it had become far worse when the omega had passed away. His body and soul knew that the person who completed him was no longer in the world, and little by little, his life was fading away.
And Shen Wenlang was grateful for that. To live one more minute without Gao Tu was pure agony.
His mind conjured up the last moments with his omega. The desperate race through the hospital corridors where his mate was taking his last breaths. Gao Qing's sobs as she opened the door for him. The unnatural paleness of the man the loved. His last look. His last breath.
He had arrived too late.
The lack of pheromones from the alpha father, coupled with years of suppressant and inhibitor abuse, had been too much for Gao Tu's fragile health. His omega's body hadn't been able to withstand it.
At first, Shen Wenlang blamed everyone for his death. Gao Qing for not calling him sooner. Hua Yong for not helping him find his mate. His own omega father for hiding him.
But in the last few weeks, bedridden and immobilized by his syndrome, everything fell into perspective. He was the real culprit.
Did the others act wrongly? Yes. Some more than others, especially Ying Yi. But Wenlang is the real responsible. He was the one who failed to see the person in front of him, who didn’t recognize his own mate beside him for ten years. If only he had acknowledged in time the treasure that life had given him. Now it was too late.
The alpha closed his eyes as he tried to breathe. Soon. He didn't have much time left in this world. He could feel it.
If God exists, and forgives him, he will soon be with Gao Tu.
Shen Wenlang breathed his last with a smile on his face.
Shen Wenlang felt his head split open with pain, making it impossible to open his eyes. The sounds were too loud, and his skin felt like it was on fire. The last thing he remembered was his inability to breathe.
“President Shen... I have a question.”
The words paralyzed him instantly. His voice.
He tried to open his eyes again, but the pain still prevented him. The silence that followed convinced him that he had imagined the soft voice.
“What if...? I mean, hypothetically.”
Was he hallucinating?
With great effort, he managed to open his eyes. And the sight before him left him breathless. Gao Tu stood at his desk in the office he hadn't visited in months. Nervous and pale, but as beautiful as he remembered. Was this heaven?
“Gao Tu?” He asked, his voice trembling.
The man didn't seem to notice the emotion in Wenlang's voice and continued talking.
“What if an omega gets pregnant with your child?”
The question froze him in place. What was happening?
Shen Wenlang felt his breathing quicken and had to hold onto the desk with both hands to avoid falling, even though he was sitting in the chair. Was this some kind of punishment? Was this what his eternity would be? Would he have to continually relive the moment he lost Gao Tu forever?
“Mr. Shen?”
He heard Gao Tu's voice approaching and with effort turned towards him. The omega had walked around the desk and stood beside him. His hands were raised as if he were trying to help him.
“I think you're having a panic attack.”
Shen Wenlang could do nothing but observe him. His face so close, even more beautiful than he remembered, his cupid's mouth so tempting, his eyes sad and sweet. He swallowed hard and very slowly extended a hand until it lightly touched Gao Tu's. The contact was electrifying. And real.
Gao Tu was standing in front of him. It was him. He didn't understand how or why. But it was the omega. Alive.
Slowly, he stood up from the chair and faced the man he loved. Carefully, he brought a hand to Gao Tu's face and gently stroked it. It really was him. He didn't understand what was happening, but he didn't care. His omega was there, right beside him.
The image suddenly blurred, and Shen Wenlang panicked, believing that the other man was disappearing, until he realized that it was his own tears flooding his eyes. With his other hand he took the other side of his face, to make sure that it really was Gao Tu who was standing there in front of him.
A sob caught in his throat, and a few tears rolled down his cheek. With a desperation he had only felt in that hospital where he had lost him, he grabbed Gao Tu tightly and slammed him against his body. His arms wrapped around him tightly. Another sob escaped his lips, and more tears fell. Even so, he continued to caress him with his lips, to hold him even closer to his body.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. Please, please. I’m so sorry.” He heard himself say.
“President Shen?”
The omega's trembling and confused voice made him realize that he wasn't acting the way Gao Tu expected.
And, frankly? He didn't care.
Nothing mattered anymore, except holding Gao Tu in his arms.
His eyes traced every inch of the omega's face, his pale, sickly skin, the deep dark circles under his eyes, and the fear and confusion in his doe-like gaze.
Wenlang rested his forehead against his and took a deep breath. The scent that washed over him was faint but persistent. Sage. It was barely perceptible, and a few centimeters further away he wouldn't have been able to smell it, but being so close... It was divine. The perfect scent; not too sweet, but fresh and inviting, unassuming yet beautiful. Just like the omega to whom it belongs.
“I am so sorry, my love. So sorry.”
“Mr. Shen... I don't understand... what's happening?”
The tremor in Gao Tu’s voice made him take a deep breath and pull his face away from his omega, though he didn't let go. Wenlang didn't think he was capable of stopping the embrace. He needed to have him right there, with him. He feared that if he let go, Gao Tu would vanish.
He lowered the hand that was holding his face to his waist and felt his ribs. He had lost weight. He could feel it in his hands and see it in the suit that hung looser on him.
That, more than anything, made him realize that, whatever was happening, it was real. If this were just his imagination, he knows he wouldn't picture Gao Tu as sick, the way he already was at this stage of the pregnancy. His imagination would have created him in perfect health, because making him suffer was unthinkable.
Health. Gao Tu and their baby were in poor health. He had to take them to the doctor, start treatment immediately, and halt the future that awaited them.
“President Shen?” Gao Tu was still looking at him in fear, apprehension, and if he wasn't mistaken, a glimmer of hope.
With great effort, Shen Wenlang pulled away from him, yet still couldn't let go, so he took his hand. He needed to feel him, to make sure Gao Tu was there.
Without saying a word, he began walking toward his office door, tugging gently on Gao Tu’s hand to lead him along, while using his other hand to pull out his phone and call his driver to have the car ready for immediate departure. The omega followed him, still fearful and confused, yet without a word of complaint. And that sight tugged at his heart. After all, how many times had Gao Tu done this? Followed him without question? And how many times had the alpha failed to expect anything else? How many times had he taken it all for granted?
He wanted to tell him a thousand things; he wanted to explain everything to him. And he would, but only when they were in the privacy of his car.
Minutes later, they got into the car, and Wenlang instructed the driver to take him to HeCi Hospital.
He saw the omega open his mouth to protest or perhaps ask for an explanation, but Wenlang interrupted him with a question.
“Or would you prefer to see your personal doctor? That might be better; he is well-acquainted with your entire medical history and will know the best procedure.”
Immediately afterwards, he told the driver to change course to the clinic Gao Tu visited often. The vehicle started moving, and the alpha turned to give the omega his full attention.
With one hand still clasping one smaller hand, Wenlang brought the other toward Gao Tu's face.
“Listen to me carefully. I’ll explain everything better later, but the important thing right now is for us to know how to improve your health and the baby's.”
He pressed his hand slightly against Gao Tu’s face when he felt the other man trying to pull away, but only to halt the movement, without applying any real pressure.
“Shh. Don't be scared. Gao Tu, I know... I know you're the omega from the night of the banquet and that you're carrying my child. But, my love, don't be afraid. I swear I'll explain everything to you later, but for now, you just need to know that this makes me happy. That you have nothing to fear. That I only want to take care of you and our child.”
“Wenlang?” Gao Tu’s voice sounded choked with suppressed tears, and his insecurity and hope seemed to be battling each other.
But the alpha could only experience the sheer pleasure of hearing his name spoken by his beloved. For years, Gao Tu had addressed him only formally, and he was certain the omega hadn't realized he had used his first name.
“I love you, Gao Tu; I love you more than life itself. And I have loved you for years. It’s just that I was too blind and too much of an idiot to realize it.”
The omega let out a sob and clung tightly to him. The alpha wrapped his arms around him and gently pulled him close, until there was no empty space left between them.
“Am I dreaming?” Gao Tu asked in a voice filled with anguish, and Shen Wenlang closed his eyes in agony.
He had created that uncertainty and that pain. With every word, with every careless phrase, with an unfounded prejudice.
“I still don't know if I'm the one who is dreaming.”
He gazed out the car window at the passing streets and buildings, watching the afternoon bathe in a soft orange glow, all while continuing to hold Gao Tu close against his body.
The omega had pressed his face against his neck, and Wenlang could feel his warm, moist breath against his skin, sending delicious shivers through his body. In the few minutes that had passed since they fell silent, Gao Tu seemed to have drifted off to sleep.
He gently adjusted his position to make the other man more comfortable. Then, tentatively, he began to release pheromone, soft and calculated, designed to calm Gao Tu even further.
His hands itched to remove the patch he knew the omega was wearing at the base of his neck, but he held back. He would never again take anything from Gao Tu without his permission. And he had to start right then.
Now that his mind had settled and his body was at ease with his omega nestled against him, he was able to make sense of what had happened over the last hour. He was certain that, somehow, he had gone back to the past; he didn't know how or why, but it was the only explanation.
As he had already reasoned, there was no dream or fantasy in which Wenlang would conjure up a suffering Gao Tu. If this were a fragment of his deranged mind or a product of his own illness, he was certain he would be imagining a Gao Tu in perfect health, glowing with vitality. After all, his omega had already suffered too much, and Shen Wenlang would not allow him to continue suffering, not even in his own mind.
He felt Gao Tu draw in a breath, letting the pheromones Wenlang was releasing enter his system. A soft purr vibrated against his neck, and the alpha had to close his eyes against the surge of possessiveness that washed over him. He was releasing his pheromones to help his omega, not to mark or claim him. He took a deep breath and tried to calm the part of his body that was stirring in response.
Fortunately, at that moment the car began to come to a stop, signaling the arrival at the clinic.
He gently caressed his secretary's face to wake him. Gao Tu's beautiful eyes opened, bewildered and alarmed, but Wenlang planted a soft kiss on his forehead to reassure him.
Wenlang reluctantly moved away from him to get out of the car, but as soon as they were both outside, he took Gao Tu’s hand. He was developing some sort of separation anxiety, he could tel, likely due to the tragedy of having lost him once before, but right now, that wasn't what mattered.
They announced themselves to the receptionist, and the woman showed them into the waiting room. The doctor ushered them in almost immediately, despite there being other patients waiting. That made the alpha realize just how serious Gao Tu’s condition was, given that the doctor was willing to see him without an appointment and with a fully booked schedule.
The doctor first fixed his gaze on their interlaced hands, then on Shen Wenlang’s face. His expression was stern and accusatory. The alpha felt his temper rising and bit his lip to keep from saying anything inappropriate. After all, the doctor was entirely justified in looking at him that way. He still remembered the words spoken the last time he had been in the doctor's presence, words Wenlang had replayed over and over again following Gao Tu’s death.
“When the receptionist told me both of them were here, I thought it was an emergency like the last time, but I’m glad to see I was wrong.” He spoke in a soft voice, looking mostly at Gao Tu.
And Wenlang realized something that was quite obvious now that he had all the information, but which had gone completely unnoticed in his previous life: the doctor genuinely cared about his patient.
“So, what is the reason for this visit?”
Wenlang took a deep breath before speaking, squeezing Gao Tu's hand reassuringly.
“I recently learned that Gao Tu is an omega rather than a beta, that he is carrying my child, and that he suffers from severe hormonal and pheromone-gland dysfunction. We are here because I want to know the appropriate treatment to ensure his health and the baby's. Cost and time are no object.”
He felt the beta’s judgmental gaze, and the alpha was grateful that the other man said nothing about what he was surely thinking regarding him. He didn't need a doctor to remind him how blind he had been. Besides, it wasn't practical; right now, only Gao Tu’s health mattered.
When his omega is in perfect health, he will let the beta tell him everything he thinks of him. And Wenlang will accept it with grace.
“As I told Gao Tu the last time he was here, what he needs now is to stop using any kind of inhibitor or suppressant, including the patch he is currently wearing. Furthermore, he needs the alpha father's pheromones. That would be the bare minimum to begin his recovery.”
He said this reproachfully, looking at the omega, then turned toward the alpha with a very serious expression.
“Ideally, what is needed is a complete mating bond, with a permanent mark, frequent intercourse, and a constant flow of pheromones from the alpha mate.”
The information left him momentarily breathless. He had been bracing himself for months of medical treatments and hospital visits, fighting every minute to restore his omega’s health. Yet, what Gao Tu had truly needed was a normal alpha-omega relationship, perhaps one a bit more intense than most, given the need for closeness to ensure a constant flow of pheromones. That was exactly what Shen Wenlang had been ready to provide, above and beyond any necessary medical treatment.
The news brought back the agony that had haunted him for months: Gao Tu had died because he had failed to provide something that should have come natural: the product of a relationship between two people in love.
He turned his face toward Gao Tu just in time to see a flush settle on his face and spread down his neck. He wondered if the flush would extend to his entire body, and for a second, he pictured it. Gao Tu would look beautiful, naked in his bed, with that flush all over his body.
He shook his head slightly and cleared his throat to banish the image. It was not the time to get distracted by fantasies.
He let go of Gao Tu's hand to wrap his arm around his shoulders and pull him close.
“That is something I am totally willing to do. Not just for your health, but because I love you.”
He whispered the declaration into his ear, intending for only his omega to hear it; however, the look of approval he found on the doctor's face told him he hadn't managed to keep it just between the two of them.
“And is there anything we need to do medically?”
“Not for the moment. We will have to monitor Gao Tu's progress and make adjustments if necessary, though I don't think that will be the case. I would also like to run a compatibility test between the two of you, as I suspect your compatibility must be very high, given that you managed to conceive despite your pheromone dysfunction.” He directed the last part at the omega. “And please, take off that patch as soon as you're in a safe place.”
The doctor took a form and handed it to them after filling it out.
“Here is the compatibility request form. Hand it in at the reception desk so they can schedule an appointment for you.”
Both of them stood up, realizing that this was the doctor's way of indicating that the visit was over.
Without letting go of his shoulders, Wenlang guided Gao Tu toward the exit; Gao Tu was still looking at him uncertainly, yet with a faint trace of relief and hope. The alpha lightly kissed the omega’s nose, causing him to wrinkle it briefly.
“You look like a little bunny. Mmm, I like it, my bunny.” He said, savoring the word.
Gao Tu let out a soft chuckle that made Wenlang fall in love all over again.
A somewhat awkward silence settled over the penthouse as they entered. Wenlang guided Gao Tu to the sofa and left him seated there alone for a few seconds while he went to fetch a pitcher of cool water and two glasses. The conversation to follow would be a long one, and he didn't want it interrupted, not even by thirst.
When he returned, he set the water down on the coffee table and sat beside the omega. He turned his torso and took the other's hands in his own, causing Gao Tu to turn toward him as well.
“I still don't know if all this is just a delusion induced by my mate-seeking syndrome, and I'm actually still dying in my bed and not with you here.” He began speaking and saw Gao Tu frown; fortunately, the omega did not interrupt.
“It might be hard to believe, but today I woke up in the past. In my office, with you asking me the question that would haunt me in the future. I know it sounds crazy, but I can offer proof; I know things I couldn't possibly know unless you, or someone very close to you, had told me. Like how it was your mother who gave you your first suppressant when you were still just a child. She did it so your father wouldn't find out you're an omega and exploit you the way he did her. Gao Qing is the one who told me this.”
Gao Tu stood there with his mouth and eyes wide open; before he could say a word, Wenlang followed up with what he was certain was irrefutable proof.
“I know you’ve recently been thinking about a name for our child. And that you haven’t told anyone yet. Gao Lele. Although I hope you’ll agree to us calling him Shen Lele.”
Gao Tu let out a sob.
“What…? How…?” His voice was broken and bewildered, and a little awed. “Him?”
Shen Wenlang realized that Gao Tu didn't know the baby's sex yet.
“Yes, it's a boy. Sorry, I didn't realize you might not have known yet.”
“A boy?”
He spoke in wonder, bringing one of his hand, still interlaced with the alpha’s, to his belly. Wenlang felt an indescribable emotion upon realizing that this was the first time he was touching his omega’s belly, touching the child they created.
For a few seconds, they simply enjoyed the intimate moment, open palms covering Gao Tu’s stomach, fingers interlaced and caressing one another.
“So you're from the future?” Gao Tu broke the silence, his voice trembling and still filled with disbelief.
“It's the only explanation I can find for this situation.”
He let him process the words for another moment.
“Why... why are you here if you're from the future?” He asked in a near-whisper; the fear of the answer that would follow could be heard in his voice.
The S-tier alpha closed his eyes and took a deep breath. There were many things he could say to him, but only the truth mattered. If he wanted to build a future with Gao Tu, one where the omega was healthy and happy by his side, he would have to be completely honest.
Then he began a detailed explanation of everything that would have happened from that day on. He told him how he had answered the question Gao Tu had put to him that morning, and he had to witness his pained reaction upon learning that his answer had been to get rid of the child. He took him in his arms and let him cry, let him release the pain.
Then Wenlang went on to recount everything that followed: his resignation, the meeting at the restaurant orchestrated by the omega's father, and his disappearance. He described the desperation with which the alpha began searching for him, the onset of mate-seeking syndrome, and the agony of the months that followed.
“Then, for the first time in the months since you disappeared, I heard from you. Your sister called me one morning to tell me you were in labor and that there were complications, that the alpha father's pheromones were needed. I rushed out and headed straight for where you were. But it was a long journey, taking many hours. The uncertainty was killing me; I didn't know what was happening or if I would make it in time. I went straight from the airport to the hospital where you were. But... but...”
Shen Wenlang burst into tears and covered his face with his hands to hide the pain. He felt Gao Tu's arms wrap around him.
“But you arrived late.” The omega concluded, with the same pain mirroring the alpha's.
“Yes.” He wept harder as he held him tighter, as if making sure he was still there, that it wasn't a dream or a fantasy. That Gao Tu was truly holding him. “You took your last breath the moment I held your hand. As if you were waiting for me to do so.”
“That must be what happened. I have loved you since the moment I met you; I am sure I needed to feel you one last time before leaving.” He said in a broken voice. “Lele?”
“I'm sorry. I lost him too. I'm so sorry, my love; it's all my fault.”
He felt Gao Tu’s tears wetting his neck, followed by a fresh wave of tears from Shen Welang. They wept together for a few moments in silence, simply holding each other tight and clinging to the assurance that it hadn't happened yet.
“What happened next?” Gao Tu asked a while later, his voice sounding a bit more composed.
“I blamed everyone. Your sister for not calling me sooner; Hua Yong for not helping me find you, despite all the influence he wields; and my omega father for helping to hide you and not caring whether I needed you or you needed me. Who, by the way, has been pretending to be dead all this time.”
Gao Tu lifted his head from his shoulder to look at him in disbelief. “What?”
“That is not important right now.”
“What do you mean it's not important? Of course it is. Your father made you believe he was dead?!” The omega spoke indignantly.
“Gao Tu, my love. I’m not saying it isn’t important or that I won’t have to deal with it later. I’m saying that right now, at this moment, it isn’t important. Not more than having you and Lele alive, right here with me. How can I focus on that when life is giving me this miracle at this very moment?”
Gao Tu seemed to melt at those words, and, with a flushed face, returned to his previous position of hiding his face against the other's neck.
“Do you really love me?” His voice sounded doubtful and hopeful at the same time.
“More than life itself. I lived three months with your departure etched into my very being. Every day after you left brought constant pain, yet it paled in comparison to the agony of outliving you.” He cupped his face in his hands to look him straight in the eyes. “I love you. I have loved you all this time. That explains the jealousy, the need to have you close under any pretext. But I was an idiot who didn't know himself, who couldn't recognize what he was feeling. I love you, I loved you, and I will always love you.”
Gao Tu’s eyes sparkled behind his glasses, and his smile widened, shy yet beautiful. His breath brushed against Wenlang’s face.
“I love you, too.”
Wenlang couldn't contain the euphoria he felt in that moment; he leaned in to kiss him but stopped himself. He promised himself he would never take without asking first. “Can I kiss you?”
“Always.” That was all the answer he needed before pressing his lips against his beloved's.
He had imagined countless times what it would feel like to kiss Gao Tu. But those moments were intertwined with the pain of knowing he would never have the chance to taste the omega’s mouth.
Yet, against all odds, life had granted him this opportunity. It was far better than he had imagined. Gao Tu’s lips were full and soft, delicate, just like his heart. He moved them with a mix of shyness and passion. It was intoxicating. He lightly bit the omega’s lower lip, eliciting a soft moan and causing the other to part his lips just enough for the alpha to slip his tongue inside, gently caressing the tongue that beckoned him.
The heat inside his mouth was maddening; Gao Tu’s hands caressing his back only emboldened him further, making him want more.
With slow, deliberate movements, he placed one of his hands over the base of Gao Tu’s neck, right over the patch. The omega tensed up, realizing what the alpha intended to do.
He moved his lips away from Gao Tu's to whisper in his ear. “I’m going to remove your patch. Don’t be scared, don’t overthink it, I know your scent. It’s beautiful, delicious, so uniquely you, and it drives me crazy. I know I’ve said nasty things about it in the past, but those were always lies I made up because I thought it belonged to someone else, to an imaginary person who was stealing your attention away from me.”
No sooner had he removed the suppressant than the aroma of fresh sage permeated the apartment, completely enveloping Wenlang without overwhelming him. The scent of iris, deeper and darker than he ever remembered it being, answered the call, enveloping Gao Tu, making him moan involuntarily and go limp in the alpha’s arms.
He kissed him again, and this time the kiss was returned with greater fervor. He lost himself in the sensation, just the two of them, the heat of their mouths meeting, their lips brushing against each other, their tongues caressing one another.
Gao Tu's hands were on his back, trying to slip under his shirt. The skin-to-skin contact was electrifying, even though it was just a single finger on his back. Effortlessly and with great gentleness, he lifted Gao Tu from the sofa as he stood up.
“I’m going to take you to my room, undress you, make love to you, and mark you. I am going to make you completely mine.” He said, as Gao Tu wrapped his legs around the alpha's waist. “If you don't want to go on, now is the time to tell me, my love. I'll wait as long as you need.”
And it was true. Even though the mere thought of not making him his right then was killing him, he would do whatever Gao Tu needed.
“Don't stop. Please.” The omega said, his breathing quickened by passion.
And Wenlang had no intention of ever stopping.
Months later
Gao Tu's forehead was bathed in sweat, his face flushed from the exertion. Shen Wenlang, standing by his side, wiped his face while holding a hand that was gripping his tightly.
“One last effort, my love.” He said to him gently.
“As your husband said, one last effort, Mr. Gao. One more push and your son will be with us.” The midwife's voice was heard near them.
Shen Wenlang focused on his omega's face and did not want to look toward where the doctors were working to bring his son into the world. Gao Tu grasped both of his hands, closed his eyes, and pushed hard. And the baby's cry that followed was glorious.
“Time of birth: 00:01 am.”
Wenlang heard the nurse make the announcement. And his heart gave a massive leap. The day was over. The day he had dreaded so much, the day on which he had lost everything in the other future, had come to an end.
And his son had been born into a new day.
The child was brought over and placed on his omega's chest. Gao Tu shed a tear as he kissed the baby's head.
“Hi, Lele. Hi, baby, I love you so much.”
“We love you so much.” Shen Welang said, kissing his son's forehead first and then his husband's.
Gao Tu rested his head against the pillow and looked at him with a tender smile.
“We made it through the day. Just like I told you we were going to do it.”
His always reliable and stable omega. Wenlang was a bundle of nerves from the very first moment of that day, whereas Gao Tu was calm, despite being the one in labor.
“A’Tu…”
The omega steadied Lele with one hand, and with the other, he caressed the alpha's face.
“Here we are, safe and alive. You can breathe now, my love.”
Shen Wenlang looked at the clock on the wall and smiled. It was a new day. A new Life. A Second Chance.