Work Text:
___________Inko__________
Today is a painful day. The apartment is quiet, save it be for the soft words being sung over a single handheld speaker in the middle of the room. Cleaning the apartment isn’t very hard when you can use the work to draw your own mind away from unwanted thoughts. Inko Midoriya takes the initiative and cleans their apartment by herself for the first time in years.
She sweeps. She cleans, and wipes, vacuums, and rearranges, dusts, and then wipes anything and everything she can to keep herself from drifting to a place she would rather not explore. Maybe this is her avoiding it. Maybe she could fully let the floodgates open. Finally letting herself process it all even if it has been years since that crushing day. But she doesn’t.
Instead, she relishes in the feeling of dust on her hands, the smell of chemicals that grazes her nose. Swaying to the calm ambiance of the radio music filling the apartment.
Mrs.Midoriya moves in tune with the music finishing up the last of her deep clean. While cleaning does help with staving off the issue, escapism can’t help keep the storm at bay forever. She has done it all. There is more work to be done except for maybe in Izuku’s room or her own. She chooses the less invasive of the two options and opus for her own living space.
Cleaning the room wasn’t physically hard.
Sure it did need a lot of work, it was more so a large pile of smaller tasks than a large one. So she dusts and tidies as much as she can before grabbing some clean covers for her bed.
It was emotionally draining though.
The woman lays out the sheets on her bed working with a small amount of reverence. It would be a lie to say that she dreads this cruel ritual of hers. This bed holds so many memories. They may not deserve to cause so much damage but they never intended to in the first place.
When Inko has finished with her work tears threaten to open the floodgates Inko has worked so hard to keep sealed. She can’t have that. With a swipe of her fingers she clears the tears in her eyes hoping to stave it off just the tiniest bit longer. She turns eyes lingering on the bed that had been left cold for all these years as she departs towards the kitchen.
What to do now? She chooses to make herself a nice cup of tea. The action isn’t too hard. If she is going to break down she might as well be comfortable.
Luckily enough for her, Izuku wouldn’t be coming home from school for a few hours at least. She has plenty of time to grieve away from the watchful eyes of her son. He doesn’t know the full truth after all. She couldn’t bear to look him in the eyes and tell him the truth when she was still lying to herself. She tries her best to keep their broken family together. If that means omitting the truth then so be it.
Today is a painful day, one that every time it repeats Inko is left reliving things she would rather not think about. Right. Today is the day where she relives the stray phone call she received at work. She relieves the tears. Experiencing in grave detail the moment when she heard the sound of the agent’s voice as he told her the news. The silence before the breakdown. Spoken words no one expects to hear. Words no wife should ever hear.
It has been years since that day yet the memories are just as crisp as they were back then. The image of a torn arm laying on a table along with other chunks of similar flesh. The faces of the heroes involved in the incident, apologetic yet numbed to the loss. Their words are hollow as if recited hundreds of times over, practiced methodically.
“Am I speaking to Midoriya Inko at the moment?”
“Yes this is Midoriya Inko, hello, what do you need from me?”
“Ma’am we believe that your husband has been caught in a villain attack.”
They do little to calm her own thoughts racing through her head as she tries to process everything spinning around her. Inko remembers her own numbness as she sat down in a house that would no longer be filled with the sounds of her beloved.
What hurts the most is Hisashi never should’ve been anywhere near the incident in the first place. Why was he there instead of at work? What would he have been doing on the roof of a building only a few days after Izuku was diagnosed quirkless? Why would he-
<Alone again.>
<I haven’t felt this way.>
Today is the anniversary of the day that Inko Midoriya’s beloved Hisashi left this earth. He was caught up in a stray villain attack several years prior, unable to make it out of the encounter with his life.
He was on a nearby roof when a villain fight broke out and he consequently was caught up into the crossfire. Or that is what the papers say.
A villain and a hero took the fight to the skies accidentally hurtling the man off of the roof. He fell several stories and was knocked unconscious. The fight raged on as several other villains laid waste to the surrounding area further damaging his body in the process.
They never found his full body, only bits and pieces here and there. The largest part of him found was his left arm which they used to identify him. Found clutched in his hand tightly despite the dismemberment was a note that read only a few shaky words scratched out in haste; “I am so sorry Inko, forgive me for leaving you this way. Take care of Izuku for me. Goodbye.”
She still has the letter, it keeps her tethered to his memory in more ways than one. She had to be strong for Izuku, it was her husband’s last wish.
<Eighteen years~ But I am alone again.>
Inko had opted not to tell her son of the circumstances of his father’s death. Instead she makes up a story that she has half convinced herself is the truth. A story that tells of a father who left his family for their sake. A father who left in order to set up a better life for his wife and kid.
At first it was hard, faking the cheer for Izuku’s sake. Without Hisashi, bills were tighter, time was shorter, life was greyer. It took more effort to smile, to be present, when all she wanted to do was curl up in a ball and grieve.
The woman knows her son well, this is for his own sake. If he knew the truth her selfless little ball of sunshine would blame himself for the events of that day. Blame himself for all of their hardships. She could never resign him to such a fate. So instead she takes it all for herself.
<Come back, I’m scared.>
Inko chose to keep up a facade, caring for her son on her own. When he started going to school she had a lot more time on her hands. She picked up a few more shifts at the clinic, stayed a few more hours. Clocked a bit more overtime. Nowadays she is at work more often than not.
Sometimes the days are just as miserable as the day that Hisashi left them, a misty cloud hanging over each and every action that Inko makes. Sometimes work is the only thing she can bring herself to do. In moments like that the image of her son smiling despite being bruised and battered hurts all the worse. Is she really helping her son as much as she thinks?
Inko stares at a lovely photograph of their broken family before it was broken, tears welling up in her eyes that she can no longer keep from spilling out. The photo was taken only a week before the accident during a family trip to the beach. The warm droplets drip down her cheeks as she grips the picture frame ever so tighter.
Pictures are painful. So, there are only a few present in the Midoriya household. One of these pictures is always kept hidden away from visitors hidden only for times like this. When the hurt is too much to bear, when grief threatens to swallow everything and drag Inko into the abyss. A lifeline to stop herself from falling down far enough that she can’t or won’t come up for air.
___________ Izuku ____________
A boy walks home silent footsteps accompanying his thoughts. Today is gloomy just like any other no matter how intensely the sun beats down on the pavement.
Mom could already be home by now but he’d rather not head home quite yet. It wouldn’t be surprising if she wasn’t at the apartment though. She hasn’t come home very often lately. Probably because today is the anniversary of… that day.
Instead of his usual route, Izuku makes his way down to a nearby trash beach. Dagobah has become his little hideaway for days like this, when the world wishes to beat him down extra hard or when he needs a little alone time that doesn’t involve being stuck in the suffocating scent of stale air and dust of the apartment. Sure, he probably shouldn’t be coming to a beach full of sharp metal and disease infused trash for fun but what can he do?
He’ll get kicked out of anywhere else because he has no money and wandering the streets as a quirkless kid is much more dangerous than any infection he could get from a scratch here. Izuku learned that after the string of random kidnappings he went through about two years ago. Besides this place has a lot of scrap that he can use to build things which is his favorite thing to do after taking his notes.
Izuku takes a seat on what looks like a retro television from the pre-quirk era. Funny how a relic like that found its way to this beach. He knows for a fact that most of this trash was not here twenty years ago, mom was the one who told him to take a trip to dagobah a few years ago and according to her it was once a gorgeous beach not in fact a trash dump.
The kid lets his mind wander as he takes out his notes to touch up some information he observed in a beetle between a warper and death arms earlier that day.
Mom tries to keep everything clean whenever she has the time to. Unfortunately that window of time has been getting smaller and smaller over the past few years. She has to take care of their rent and everything else. Izuku gets it, he really does. It's just a bit lonely sometimes. He hardly sees her outside of weekends as of late. Even then mom can get called in to work at any time. (which she has, quite often.)
Is it so much to ask for a bit of time with his mom? No, that might push her over the edge. Inko already has enough on her plate without his useless presence staining her life.
She was the only one that stayed with him after the diagnosis, he’d rather not lose her right now.
<You were my everything>
She used to call him so affectionately. She still does… but now it’s more forced. Izuku can see the pain lacing her eyebrows and her slightly clenched fists.
Back before that day that changed everything, life was so carefree. They could both live freely without a care in the world. Mom didn’t have to worry about paying the bills. Or having to take care of a quirkless kid as a single mom. Dad still loved them and came home everyday from work with his arms outstretched. He would pull Izuku and his mom into a big hug and the warmth of his smile would brighten up the room. Back then, Dad still talked to him instead of running off to the United States without a single word.
<My sun my stars my galaxy>
The kid sniffs as tears start welling up in his eyes.
Maybe this is all his fault. If he weren’t here then mom wouldn’t have to worry so much. If he weren’t here then maybe dad wouldn’t have left. They could have been happy together if he was never born. Maybe maybe maybe maybe… there is no good in asking maybe. What's done is done. Izuku is here now and that won’t change any time soon. He didn’t choose to be born. He didn’t choose to be quirkless. He didn’t choose to be beaten, or laughed at, or ignored. In fact he hasn’t wished for anything other than to be loved. Isn’t that all that everyone is ever wishing for? To be known and recognized, and loved as much as they choose to love others.
<If you were my everything,>
<Without you I’m nothing at all.>
The freckled boy shifts his weight atop his seat consisting of a big pile of junk. He wipes his tears with the sleeve of his gakuran. Charred debris rubs off as he wipes it. The ash stings his eyes as the tears flow once more.
Funny how little it takes to send some to the brink of causing their own demise. Funny how a few simple words can make someone wish to be able to gaze at the sea and not think about lying on the seabed 10,000 leagues below. Funny. To be able to see a knife and not wish it was plunged into their heart. To see a bottle of pills and not wish to eat them as if they were candy, downing the bottle in one moment of decision. If only they could see. If only he could hold a rope and not wish for it to be around his neck. A few words is all it takes and one action can end it all.
Sometimes one bad day is all it takes. Sometimes it’s an entire lifetime of buildup that makes it so that one block sends the tower falling over.
The ocean is beautiful today.
Izuku collects his things and leaves Dagobah Beach while he still has the strength to walk away from the beckoning waves.
<And you love me>
The apartment is quiet save for the sobs that can be heard from his mother’s bedroom. Considering it's still that day it would be best to check in on her. Maybe he could make her a snack of sorts?
<Although you never got the chance to say it>
____All for one____
Somewhere else in Japan a notorious supervillain mourns his disconnection from his wife and child. It’s that wretched day again and the pain still hasn’t left. One would think that living this long could have softened the blow. But what can he do? His face is half missing and he is stuck on life support despite his many many healing quirks he has stockpiled over the years. It’s Infuriating at best and torturous at worst. He can barely move. He can’t see squat without his quirks for assistance. Even then, it's not quite the same at all. If he can’t function at his best then he can barely function at all. That’s no way to be if you’d like to care for your family.
<I know you love me>
Now he is so separated from the two he loves the most that he is forgetting their faces. Now the only things he can remember is his little boy’s voice and the feeling of his little hands. Now he barely remembers the taste of his wife’s cooking or the sound of his son’s laughter. He misses them so much it physically pains him daily. This is for the best.
<And I pray to God that I never forget that>
He didn’t want to do it but his fight with all might has rendered him no longer able to keep up his appearance as Hisashi midoriya. So instead he faked his death and allowed his family to at the very least. It’s best to keep to the shadows for now. What’s worse is that his kid is quirkless, poor kid is just like his younger brother. Quirkless and weak, but loving and bright at the same time. He would’ve loved to provide for the kid but it’d probably be best to keep away from him as best as he can. Villany is no place for someone who is quirkless. Besides, Inko would take care of the kid right?
<I love you>
<As much as I hate those three words>
Nothing good ever comes from love. Loving someone means admitting that you are weak enough to need their presence. And acknowledging that you will be able to bear a life without them in it. Losing his dear brother made him realize that fact. He had pushed too hard. Loved too intensely for him and now he is no longer here. Sure a remnant of his soul resides within that pesky and illusory hand-me-down of quirk but it would never be the same as hearing his brother's voice.
Even in the midst of it all the voice of his beloved Inko twists with that of his brother. He is mourning the loss of his wife before her death.
Everything should be cared for. Everything should be fine, even better now that he isn’t in the picture. He should be relieved to know that no harm will come to his Inko and their son. It should be good.
Then why does he worry for the family he was not worthy to have?
<But darling, the harder I fall in love>
<The worse that it hurts>
Why does it hurt so much to know he would never see them again with his own two eyes?
And that he is forgetting their memory?
<I love you>
<Please don’t leave me>
<I finally find you>
<And you’re on your way>
He can’t remember his Izuku’s face anymore.
And soon enough even Inko’s voice will be gone.
------- Months Later -------
<Alone again.
It’s been like this for
I don’t know how long
But I’m still alone, my dear>
A small green haired teen stands at the steps of the home he had lived in for all of his life. He sighs as he picks up a beat up yellow and red backpack from the front of the steps. With one small sweep a pair of emerald eyes looks over all that he is leaving behind for the last time.
It’s forced moving day also known as eviction day for those who like to use more specific adjectives for Izuku’s current predicament. He hadn’t meant for it to get this bad. He really had tried his best to pay the rent! But there is only so much a kid can legally do for money before people start asking questions. He even had to sell a large majority of his All Might merch just so that he could have enough money to pay for food each week. Inko surely won't be back anytime soon considering that the kid hadn't seen her face in over a month now and that she hadn't paid rent for the last three.
There is nothing left for him at this house. Inko won't miss him. The neighbors won't miss him. And everyone at school definitely won't either. Which means there is no one tying him down anymore.
<Come back I'm scared.>
The kid takes a deep breath. This is it. He is homeless, parentless, and friendless so there shouldn't be anyone left to mourn his presence here. Everything he has is strapped to his back. Izuku's breath catches as he takes his first step towards the nearby mountain and the next chapter of his life.