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“Yura, I’m home!” Otabek locked the door behind him, took off his coat and shoes at the entryway and walked towards the living room. He dropped down onto the sofa and let out a sigh of relief.
“Thank god I managed to finish the lessons early today. The long weekend even starts tomorrow, which is a bonus. This means I can spend some more time with my precious tiger,” he smiled to himself knowing that he is able to laze around with his lover for the rest of the day.
Otabek then noticed the eerie silence in the apartment, striking some nervousness in him. Usually he hears Yuri’s voice, more so his rather creative curses, or some sort of movement in the apartment when he comes home from his coaching lessons. He glanced at his watch at saw that it was just past 3pm.
“Yuri should be home, he had practice until 12 today,” he muttered to himself.
“Yura? Are you there?”
Silence.
Otabek called out again. “Yura!”
If he wasn’t panicking before, he definitely was now. Yuri always made sure to inform him if he was going to be late or if he was going out before Otabek gets home. He quickly took his phone out to check if he had any missed calls or messages from him. There was nothing, in fact, the last message from Yuri was yesterday when Otabek asked him if they needed anything from the grocery store.
The panic now settling in further forced Otabek to check each and every room in their apartment. He ran to the kitchen with a bit of hope that Yuri was there, though that hope flew right out of the window when he opened the kitchen door and saw no-one inside.
“Shit! Yuri this isn’t funny, you know. If you’re there please answer me!”
He made his way to the bathroom and once again his hope was crushed noticing the absence of his lover, slamming the door shut he ran down the corridor and checked in their guest bedroom. He flung the door open with no Yuri in sight. He then hurried to their bedroom. He was so anxious since this is the last room in their apartment.
Otabek paced back and forth in front of the door, shaking with nervousness and muttering to himself, “What if he’s not here? What am I going to do? I don’t even know where he is, there’s no message or call from him and he isn’t acknowledging his presence when I call out to him. Just calm the heck down Otabek, you can do this. Nothing will be solved if you’re panicking this much. For all you know he might be sleeping, you know how he is when he’s asleep. Just get your shit together and open the door already!”
Taking a deep breath, he willed that Yuri is inside and he’s safe. Slowly turning the door knob and pushing the door wide open, his gaze fell upon Yuri sitting on the floor, cross-legged with a teddy bear (that Otabek had constantly received at the end of his performances in each of his competitions) in his lap. He observed the tiger print headphones on his lover’s ears that Otabek had gifted him for his birthday.
“Explains why he didn’t respond,” Otabek thought to himself, internally sighing with relief his lover was safe and scolding himself to check the all the rooms next time before he starts panicking.
Yuri’s back was slightly turned towards the door so he didn’t notice Otabek standing at the entrance of their bedroom, so he carefully sat down where he was stood and leaned against the door frame, wanting to soak in the cute sight of his lover.
“You know, Otabear, your owner is so cute. He’s the hero that everyone wants but can’t have because he’s mine.” Yuri squeaks and nuzzles his face into the bear’s torso then places the bear back into his lap and continues speaking to it whilst stroking the top of its head and both of the ears.
Otabek gawks at the scene unfolding in front of him. “Did Yura just call the stuffed teddy bear ‘Otabear’? And wow he still remembers my nickname from my figure skating days,” he thought to himself. He muffled his chuckles with his sleeve and carried on witnessing his lover being childish with a stuffed bear.
“I still don’t know what he sees in me, ‘coz even I know that I’m blunt and harsh as fuck and probably the biggest asshole he will ever come across. Though I’m not like that with him because he’s precious to me, you know? I love him with all my heart and would do anything for him. Heck, I would literally drop everything and go on an adventure with him without a second thought if he wanted to.
You see, my childhood wasn’t the best, it caused me to distrust everyone around me with the exception of my grandfather, of course. He was there with me through literally everything. He was there when my mum left me and never looked, he was there when I had nightmares haunting me for so many years, he was there when I won first place in my first ice skating competition. He’s been the pillar to my life basically. Without him, I wouldn’t have had the courage to take up ice skating and even ballet. I was never going to accept anyone else because I never felt like I needed anyone else.”
Yuri stopped talking and hugged the bear, kissing the top of its head.
Hearing those words from his lover broke Otabek’s heart. He’s never seen Yuri so vulnerable and distant before. He really wanted to kiss and cuddle his sadness away, but also wanted to know what he’s been holding back from him.
Being in a relationship for more than 5 years, he’s noted that Yuri sometimes has moments where he’s staring far off into the distance and is in deep thought, even if Otabek asks him what he’s thinking about Yuri manages to avoid the topic and changes back to his playful self, reserved only for Otabek’s eyes.
He’s startled from his thoughts when Yuri releases a loud sigh. He sees Yuri placing the bear back into his lap, resuming his stroking of its ears.
“Beka, who’s your owner by the way, I call him that as term of endearment ‘coz I’m sappy as fuck for him. Don’t judge, he’s the love of my life, so it’s my right. His name is actually Otabek Altin. That’s where your name is derived from. Anyways, when Beka saved me from those crazy ass devils which people call fans, and then later asked me on top of a hill whether I would be his friend or not, I initially thought this man was either crazy or high as fuck.”
Yuri laughed out loud when he remembered the scene and shook his head at the silliness of it. He then proceeded talking to the bear.
“I mean come on, who honestly does that? But when I gazed into his eyes, I just knew that this boy (at that time he was just 18 so yeah) was going to change my life. I’ll let you in a secret of mine, it’s not like you can talk so who gives a shit, right? Well the truth is I developed a crush for Beka just a few months into our friendship, and I guess it took around another two months for that crush to turn into love. I couldn’t help it, you have no idea just how wonderful and charming he is!
Beka thinks that I fell in love with him after he confessed to me when I turned 18 and that my feelings developed because I started to ‘think and see him as a romantic partner’. It was pure bullshit 'coz I was head over heels in love with him since I was 15 but I wouldn’t have dared to tell him that. It’s embarrassing and humiliating to tell him that a young teen had this unrequited love for someone who he just formed a friendship with and was 18 years at that time.”
Upon listening to such a confession, Otabek’s jaw literally dropped and a tint of blush formed across his cheeks. He had no idea that Yuri was the first one to fall in love with him.
“In the first year of our friendship, I just knew that I could accept him whole-heartedly and trust him in the same way I trust my grandfather. After that, I was so comfortable around him. I never had to put up my usual angry, pissed-at-the-world front. I was able to laugh, cry, worry about the shittiest of things, and be annoyed and miserable without holding back. Truth be told, there were many occasions where I felt like confessing to him but I used to get this gnawing, unpleasant feeling every time so I kept quiet, in fear of being rejected. I didn’t want to fuck up our friendship, you know?”
From the day we formed a friendship to the day he confessed I was so happy, not that I wasn’t happy after the confession, I was actually over the fucking moon when he said that he loves me. But during those first three years, the phone calls, skyping each other, the surprise visits and the time we spent in each other’s country after the competitions were over, was bliss. Nothing could EVER replace that.”
Otabek felt his heart swell and his eyes slightly water. Who knew Yuri could be so innocent and heartfelt.
“Wanna know something else Otabear? When we announced our relationship there were some people who assumed that I’m only using Otabek as arm candy. I was so pissed at that comment, I felt like throwing my skates at them but why should I waste my time and energy at irrelevant people that don’t even know me. Yeah, I get that Otabek is hot as fuck. He’s attractive and pleasing to my eyes, he has a mouth-watering sculptured body. Oh and those abs are just mighty fine, don’t even get me started on that booty of his, hella fine. Okay I’m going off topic, you don’t need to know that much detail.”
When it comes to Otabek, Yuri can go off on a tangent and talk endlessly about him without a break.
At this point, Otabek’s eyes were wide open and this time a prominent deep blush was displayed across his cheeks and at the tips of ears. He covered his face with his hands and shook his head from the embarrassment his lover just caused him to experience.
“Oh my God, Yura. You can’t just say stuff like that, even if it is to a stuffed bear,” he quietly whispered. The chances of Yuri hearing him were slim seeing as his headphones were noise-isolating.
“As I was saying Otabear, I understand Otabek is gorgeous but I fell in love with who he was as a person and not what he looks like. I was 15 and I wasn’t even the slightest bit interested in appearances, I was more focused on the personality of a person. Beka was so patient with me whenever I had breakdowns from my haunting past, his soothing voice always seemed to calm me down. I have to tell you Beka’s voice is a god-send. There’s so much that I could tell you but it would take forever but what I will talk about are the experiences that I went through with Beka when we started dating.”
Otabek took a mental note to get all the details of their friendship years out of Yuri somehow or another. He now really wanted to know everything Yuri felt during those three years, he’s not going to let it slide that easily.
Yuri shifted which made Otabek freeze, he didn’t want to be seen eavesdropping but he relaxed as soon as he saw that Yuri only moved to stretch his legs out in front of him.
“Otabear, sometimes I wish that your master would stop worrying so much every time we have sex and just fuck me without treating me like a frail doll that will break. I get that prep has to be done or else it’ll hurt like a bitch but I mean an hour? Really? I’m so overstimulated, because he causes to me orgasm so many times with his enchanted fingers during the process, that by the time he actually shoves his dick inside me I’m sensitive as fuck. I’m a whimpering mess and gosh I act so lewd and desperate. I rather be in a state of mind where I can actually say coherent words that would turn him on even more like I dunno; ‘harder, ‘faster’, ‘deeper’, ‘make a mess out of me’ or ‘you’re so big and thick, it’s filling me up’. Ahhh I would love to see the expressions he makes when I say them.
Despite that, I really don’t mind that he takes his time and makes me into a whimpering mess, it’s his way of showing his care and love plus it’s a euphoric feeling so yeah…” Yuri felt his cheeks heat up and he fanned himself with his hands to cool himself down.
Otabek decided that he’s heard enough. His entire face, neck and ears feel like they’re on fire. He couldn’t believe the wish Yuri just made, although he did ensure to try it out next time or maybe take even longer to make more of a whimpering mess out of Yuri. As he was about to crawl away he heard Yuri speak up again, deciding against moving to prevent being seen he continued to listen.
“I was so elated when we first kissed, it was so romantic, by my standards. It was a normal coffee date so we went to our usual café, ordered our coffee and sat for a couple of hours talking about the most mundane things in our lives or about our skating routines. We walked back to my house, hand-in-hand, and we sat in my room playing games on the Xbox.
Beka stayed the night that day which was kinda the norm since he used to do it all the time. Anyways, when we were going to sleep, we slept on our sides facing each other. I was so mesmerised by his brown eyes that I didn’t even notice I was moving closer and closer to his face. When he whispered ‘Yura~’ in a sultry, low voice and licked his lips I couldn’t help myself and closed the distance between us. Oh ma gawd, Otabear, his lips! His lips were so soft and plump, like damn I instantly knew that I would get hooked! But at that moment the kisses were soft and sweet. When we parted I couldn’t stop blushing and grinning like a fool. I mean can you blame me?! I just kissed the most perfect man living on this planet!”
You know what I did after that Otabear? I gathered all the courage I had and looked him straight in the eyes and said to him ‘I love you’ and then kissed his cheek, 'coz boy I wasn’t prepared to kiss him on the lips again. But obviously Otabek had different ideas, he took the initiative and kissed me on the lips over and over again. Mind you, they weren’t deep kisses, they were still PG but like damn it was like so fucking amazing. Even I couldn’t help myself, eventually we had to stop because we had to get up really early for Beka’s flight the next morning and a sleep deprived me cannot be easily pleased.” Yuri chuckled at his own confession.
With all that’s been admitted by Yuri, Otabek thought it would probably get more embarrassing, however, he did not expect their first kiss to be brought up in conversation. His heart thumped loudly whilst recalling the details of the event that took place on Yuri’s bed that day, as if it had happened yesterday. He would remember it for as long as he lived.
Once again, Yuri’s voice broke Otabek away from his thoughts.
“When we started dating, the whole long-distance thing was going well at the beginning but then there was this invisible tension growing between us. It wasn’t anyone’s fault really, the fact that we were so far from each other and could only be together for a while after the competitions kinda took a toll on our relationship. What I feared eventually did occur. A huge fight broke out between us, now that I think about it, it was sorta stupid and immature.
I remember that once we let all the frustrations out, we ended up hugging each other and bawling our eyes out for what felt like hours. Though I have to admit that was the turning point in our relationship. For starters, Otabek unexpectedly French kissed me until I was out of breath and that night we had our first time, the details of which I will spare you from hearing.”
“Thank God for that,” Otabek muttered. He wasn’t keen to hear the intimate details even though they engaged in the act so often.
“What I will tell you Otabear is the fact that the tears that we shed that day saved our relationship. After two days, I receive a call that Otabek’s moving to Russia for training with his coach and boy was I was screaming out of happiness. I did feel guilty about making him leave his home country and talked to him about me moving to Almaty though he bluntly refused to let me come over. He assured me that it would be better for him in terms of his training and our relationship.”
Yuri paused and lifted the bear to his eye level staring at it for a while before he resumed speaking to it.
“Since then, he hasn’t left my side. You genuinely don’t know how much I love him and how grateful I am to be his lover. He’s won so many medals and when he retired, he started coaching others and it’s going so well for him, his students are doing so well in state competitions and looks like there are a few who are capable to compete at an international level as well. I’ve still got 2-3 years left before I officially step down so I’m really looking forward to compete against one of his students. Otabear, I’m so proud of him and I feel ashamed that I’m unable to tell him face-to-face. I should really be honest with him, don’t you think so Otabear?”
Yuri shifted again and crossed his legs again, placing the bear on the floor this time. He stripped the bear from its costume and grabbed a small, black t-shirt from the side as well as a pair of tight, black sweatpants. He carefully made the bear wear the t-shirt and sweatpants smoothening out any visible wrinkles. Yuri lifted the bear high up in the air this time and stared up at it.
Otabek spotted that the outfit matched his own and grinned.
“So, how does it look, Beka? You like it?” Yuri asked nonchalantly with a slight smirk on his face, not that Beka could actually see it anyways.
Otabek looked like a dear caught in headlights. God, he was royally screwed, despite his efforts of staying silent as possible he was found out. He didn’t remember making any noticeable noise so how?
“Yu-Yura… Hi… I was just… I really didn’t mean to… I couldn’t find you so….” Otabek was a stuttering mess. He couldn’t find the right words to say so he just stared down towards the floor.
“I knew you were there all along, Beka. I even heard you call out my name from the time you entered our apartment.”
Yuri turned around to face Beka with a huge smile on his face. He took off his headphones and silently handed them to Otabek who took them, slightly confused as to why he was given them.
“Put them on Beka”
“Okay” as soon as Otabek slipped the headphones over his ears he noticed the lack of sound from the headphones. He looked towards Yuri for an explanation.
“What I said since the time you sat down was I had wanted to tell you for so long Beka. I’m not that good when it comes to expressing such intimate thoughts, as you’ve experienced before. So I devised a plan when I came home to make you listen to them in an indirect way.”
“So you set up this whole plan of ‘listening’ to music whilst confessing your thoughts to the teddy bear as a means of getting a message across?”
“Yes”
“Well, that was one way using the bear. Oh my bad, let me rephrase that. That was one way of using Otabear,” a sly grin made its way on Otabek’s face, though he eventually broke into a fit of laughter.
“Hey! It’s a cool name, alright! I don’t see why you’re laughing for when it contains half of your name!” Yuri pouted, puffing his cheeks out.
“I’m just messing with you Yura, it’s an adorable name” he shuffled on his knees towards Yura and arranged them so Yuri was sat between his legs. “Thank you for being honest with me Yura, though there are many other things I would love to hear from you but let’s save that for another time, yeah?”
They both leaned forward and touched their foreheads together, staying in that position for a few moments. Yuri took a hold of Otabek’s right hand and kissed each finger before intertwining their hands together.
“I love you so much Beka, you’ve captured my heart and my entire being. I’m so deeply in love with you to the point where I don’t think I’ll be able to live on without you. Thanking you for coming into my life, you’re truly a blessing and I couldn’t have asked for more. I’m so proud of you Otabek, you need to know this and I’m gonna make sure you hear it more often.”
Silent tears rolled down his pale cheeks as he gazed back into Otabek’s eyes observing that Otabek was in a similar state.
“Please, Yura. Don’t say anything else, I don’t think my heart will be able to take all this love, and don’t even think for a second that I’m not proud of you because I am. You’re at the top of your career and I am damn proud to be there with you. I will be at your side for as long as you will have me. You’re the angel that I was always seeking for to give me another chance at life. Look at me now Yura, because of you I’m so content and full of joy with everything that I have accomplished and will continue to achieve.”
Yuri started sobbing at Otabek’s confession, he lifted Yuri’s head and held it between his hands. He kissed his forehead and wiped the tear stains on Yuri’s face, caressing his cheeks with his thumbs until Yuri’s sobbing subsided and turned into occasional sniffles.
Yuri watched Otabek with a serious and determined look in his eyes and declared: “Otabek Altin, I will have you by my side till the day I die. I’m never letting you go. EVER.”
“And I’m never letting you go as well.”
“Good…… Otabear” Yuri laughed out loud as soon as he saw the surprised look on Otabek’s face when he used the bear’s name and placed his head on Otabek’s shoulder.
“Oh, so I’m a stuffed teddy bear now?” Otabek asked with a raised eyebrow and a small smile on his face
Yura lifted his head off of Otabek’s shoulder to meet his lover’s eyes again.
“No, you’re my charming lover.”
“Is that so? Well, this charming lover of yours with the, what was it you said? Oh yeah, mouth-watering body and fine abs will now proceed to make you into the most whimpering lewd mess you’ve ever been in to show you how exactly how much I love and care for you.”
Yuri gasped from the words that spewed from his lover’s mouth.
“By the way, I said mouth-watering sculptured body and mighty fine abs, and you wouldn’t dare Beka” he backed away from Otabek sensing the impending doom.
“Oh but I would Yura~” he teased and embraced Yuri to prevent him from escaping.
“Please let me go Beka, you can’t use my own thoughts against me. This is unfair” squirming in Otabek’s embrace to escape from his hold.
“But you said it yourself, you don’t mind being a whimpering mess” he blew into Yuri’s ear causing him to shiver.
“I’ll only agree if I keep on receiving your passionate kisses until our lips are swollen and red. It’s not like we have anywhere to go tomorrow.”
“As you wish, my tiger” he released Yuri from his embrace and lifted him up in a bridal style, kissing his forehead before gently placing him on the bed.
Otabek walked over to the door and closed it to surround themselves in nothing but their everlasting love.