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It's not the fact that Clarke notices even the slightest mood changes in Bellamy. It's not the fact that she's constantly keeping an eye on him and making sure it's okay. It's also not the fact that she's quite literally head over heels in love with the guy.
It's the fact that ten people in the past week have come to Clarke with broken noses, black eyes, and one even came in with a concussion due to Bellamy's anger lately.
It's also the fact that the night prior, Clarke had been awoken to a crying Octavia coming into her tent, raging about Bellamy behind clenched teeth. Clarke braided her hair and made her a new herbal tea out of something she got from Monty, calming her down.
"He's just being different. He's distant and cold. I keep trying to get him to talk to me about it, to open up to me, but he keeps shutting down. I even mentioned getting you to come talk to him and that's whenever he gave me this look, god you should've seen it Clarke. It was a look of pure hatred and betrayel." Octavia speaks through her tears, not noticing how she is affecting Clarke with her words.
Clarke promised Octavia that she'd fix it, whatever it was and it would be okay. But that proved to be difficult when twice Bellamy ignored her and the second time he shoved Clarke back so hard she nearly lost her balance, had a tree not been there. He stared at her, wild eyes full of guilt, before turning away and leaving her to try and figure out what was happening to him.
They talked to each other about everything nearly, she could call him her best friend. She did love him, she knew that. But she wasn't about to do anything about it, not only because of the fear of rejection but for the sake of everyone in the camp. So with that Clarke avoided him throughout the entire day, deciding to take a new approach to this.
That night Clarke waits until she can hear everyone's soft breathing throughout the camp, aside from a few shared whispers, and even some giggles, which seemed to make her heart feel lighter. She looks around her slightly large tent, making sure everything she needed was ready. Smiling slightly, she begins to head to Bellamy's tent to find him.
Of course he isn't sleeping whenever she enters without alerting him. Instead he's just staring at nothing, his eyes so far away from the world in that moment that Clarke wants nothing than to enter whatever world he was in with him and drag him out. His eyes follow her as she comes to stand in front of him where he is seated on his bed.
"I need your help with something. Will you follow me?" She asks gently, trying to not demand him to do anything in case he takes it the wrong way and shoves her into his desk or something. He notices the wary way she's acting around him, and Clarke sees the pain and regret in his eyes but he says nothing as he gets up from his bed.
They walk silently back into her camp, a tension settled between the two of them. Clarke keeps trying to remember that he's going through a difficult time, that he'll be okay after this. So she ignores the heaviness of his silence and continues trying to remain positive about all of this.
She notices him slow just a little once they get in front of her tent, but she pretends not to notice and walks into her tent casually, keeping it open for him as he follows. Once he's inside, she shuts the makeshift door and ties it down so people will knock first if they have the need to interupt.
"Clarke what is all of this?" His voice is rough and raspy, and tired. It's sad as she notices just how worn down he looks as he stares tiredly back at her.
"Just do me a favor okay? You owe me for this." She shows a little bit of her shoulder, allowing him to see the large bruise that formed there after being pushed by him into that tree. His eyes linger, a pained expression forming his face. But he says nothing and just stares somewhere behind her.
"What do you want me to do?" He asks, looking back at the blanket she had set down on her bed along with a towel, some oil, and a few candles she had set up.
"Well first, I want you to relax and breathe." He lets out a deeo breath, seeming like it's the first breath he's taken in a while, which it might even be. "And then I want you to take off your shirt." His eyes widen with confusion at her and he opens his mouth to protest before she shows her shoulder once again. He eyes it for a moment before taking off his shirt in the way that guys do, by the collar.
Clarke doesn't even bother to hide it as she allows her eyes to trail down his toned stomach and chest, following the form of his v lines until they end above his pants. She ignores the heat in her body and meets his eyes which have just a hint of satisfaction in them. She doesn't protest or roll her eyes, she just lets him take that one.
"Lie down face down on my bed please." Her voice is soft, so soft she can barely hear herself over her heartbeat, but somehow he hears her and follows her instructions.
She's careful as she settles on his bottom, legs on either side of his waist. His breathing is a little labored and his entire body is tense.
"Relax, Bellamy. I'm going to take care of you." Clarke speaks softly before allowing her hands to slip into the damp curls adorning his head. She uses her fingertips to scratch his scalp and slowly she can feel the rest of his body relax and his breathing calm down. She tries to ignore the pleasure she feels from touching his hair, something she has always wanted to do.
After he seems to be completely relaxed, she removes her hands smiling at his audible whine at the loss of contact.
"I'm going to touch your shoulders now okay?" She doesn't wait before adding some of the oily lotion she got from Monty after asking him to find the most relaxing lotions possible. She warns Bellamy because she knows he likes to know everything that is going on before it happens.
He doesn't respond and she takes that as a good sign before digging her fingertips into the tenses flesh of his shoulders. He groans as she already begins to work out knots that are covering his back.
"Jesus Bell, relax." He's squirming uncomfortably beneath her and she slows her movements, instead of working out the knots, she just rubs his back gently. She scratches at random spots with her clipped nails, allowing him some time to relax before starting to work out more knots.
The most knotted area is his lower back and as she tries to work on that, he groans and moves around the entire time. But once she gets them all out, he is silent. She nearly thinks he is asleep before his body begins to shake slightly. She gets off of him quickly, turning him over to see if he was okay.
Instead he's laughing slightly, to her surprise and relief.
"What?" She asks, a small smile appearing at the sound of his wonderful laugh.
"You tricked me into coming in her so you could massage me." And she laughs at herself and how gone she is for this man. But as she is laughing with him, slowly his laughing fades and she notices tears forming in his eyes.
"I'm so sorry Clarke. I've been so angry and stressed and upset, and I shouldn't have shoved you, god you're the last person I want to hurt, I am so sorry." His eyes go back to her shoulder and she pulls the shirt up a little better so he can't she it. Bellamy sits up on the bed, putting his face in his hands as he cries softly.
"I'm a monster." He whimpers, and she falls beside him nuzzling herself into his side. Clarke pulls him back onto the bed, wrapping his arm around her as they lay.
She lets him cry as long as he needs to before the remains silent.
"It's okay Bellamy. I understand how you feel and I'm always here for you. I won't let you be alone in this." Clarke sits up to get a view of his face. She wipes away stray tears and stares deep into his brown eyes. God, she loved him.
She pushes back his curls from his forehead before planting a soft kiss there. He inhales deeply, and holds onto her hand as she pulls away. Without a second thought or even a chance to think it through, she plants a soft kiss on his lips. He holds her there carefully, as if not to harm her again.
They hold their lips together for seconds longer before Clarke pulls away, and she sees pure relief in Bellamy's eyes as he stares back up at her.
And that's all it takes before Clarke makes him relax in a different way, twice. And he returns the favor, three times.