Chapter Text
Gurathin was trying to make sense of what was going on. He was aware (very much aware) of the two SecUnits having some sort of a stand off. He felt he should be concerned, even perhaps a little afraid. But he was starting to feel almost euphoric or slightly hysterical. It was hard to tell.
But this whole situation with the code, he did NOT want SecUnit to be programmed (or to think it was programmed) to feel…whatever it was it felt towards him.
“Three, is there a patch? An upgrade?” Perhaps it could be freed of any feeling of obligation to him? Maybe that had been part of their problem all along? Perhaps there was a way to eliminate the imperative of the code (whatever that was)? Would that give it a chance, to…them a chance to…
“Gurathin? We are still here?” Pin-Lee sounded acerbic, but there was a warmth there too, “Can you explain to me and Ratthi what’s going on?”
What had she heard in his voice, seen on his face?
“Um, apparently the creator of SecUnits put a secret bit of insurance into their code, so they couldn’t be turned against him. I, and this seems a complete coincidence, trigger a lot of the recognition credentials. Which probably explains why SecUnit didn’t harm me on the survey. And why it is here now trying to stop me from leaving.”
And, he thought, why it is apparently staring Three down over possession of me?
Ratthi and Pin-Lee looked disbelieving. Hey guys, don’t look too shocked! “It thinks you’re what? Its dad, or something?” Ratthi’s voice had hints of horrified fascination. No!
“No!”
SecUnit shouted, in contrast to its usual gentle tones.
“It doesn’t explain anything.” SecUnit was angry now, no doubt about it, “’So what if I have code as well as DNA. To say I’m acting the way I do, feeling how I do, because of my code is just rude. I don’t assume humans are acting the way they do because they’re—they’re evolved from chimpanzees.”It glared at Ratthi.
“This is no more a machine than Gurathin is—”, Oh, Ratthi, Gurathin thought—you were so much closer back then.
“And I am not a child.”
Had that hurt it too? It was absolutely not a child.
“And you too:” it turned on Three, “stop trying to make my behaviour make sense as a—a broken SecUnit! Maybe the way he looks does make a difference or maybe it doesn’t. Maybe I’d feel this way anyway.”
Gurathin could feel SecUnit reaching out to him in the feed, shyly? He remembered as a child growing up in the Corporation Rim how you were taught to discourage any bot intelligences from connecting like that .. Augmented children would sometimes form inappropriate bonds, which were frowned upon; it was wrong: more than that (he realised) it was taboo. He felt its presence brushing against him, against his walls (walls which had been there so long he didn’t even think of them as walls).
“And he isn’t broken either.”
Maybe I am, SecUnit? You and me both.
He didn’t want to get this wrong. If he got this wrong he might end up dead. He laughed at himself, scoffed, if he had this wrong (he imagined SecUnit’s revulsion) he would want to be dead. Death would be so much the easy option. Please let him have this right.
He replied to Ratthi, what had he said? “It thinks you’re what? Its dad, or something?”
“Definitely the ‘ or something’ option.” Definitely something else he thought: something Guarthin didn’t have a name for.
He looked at its face, seeking out its eyes. It was looking at him, questioningly. It was so much more powerful, more adept; he needed to distract it. It was always annoyed by his hair, they’d brushed against each other with the coffee. He deliberately lifted his hand and went to push his hair back from his face, catching it in the dried drink he’d transferred there earlier. It was watching him, he felt as if he should be burning from the intensity of its gaze. Carefully now, carefully…it spotted the transaction, and grabbed at it.
No . You can’t leave us, I will not allow it.
Now or never, he muttered a curse, dropped all his walls and somehow instead of pushing he pulled. This was terrifying.
It slid in, had it done this before? No, not this…He felt its surprise and curiosity. He’d never felt anything like this before, it was like seeing everything for the first time, so much delight. It was exploring his augments, his mind, feeling what he was feeling, then a feeling of longing…so strong. He was dizzy, he might lose himself entirely ( and why not? ). He managed to pull some of his reeling self back together, and very gently he put it back.
The room seemed unreal, all the edges blurry, that was something else. The other SecUnit, Three, was gazing at them, it didn’t know exactly what they had just done, but it knew they’d done something, it looked…there wasn’t a word, no wait: voyeuristic—that was the word.
With that thought he couldn’t quite bring himself to look SecUnit in the face. He was embarrassed. Was he going to get this far and then retreat, run away? Then it suddenly, shockingly took the decision out of his hands.
It moved so fast; it always moved so fast when it wasn’t aping human behaviour. His right hand was still in his hair. For a terrible moment he was afraid, but then it reached up and stroked the back of his hand, untangling it from his hair. Then it drew its fingers down his cheek, held his jaw—
“What are you doing! Gurathin, SecUnit!” Ratthi looked appalled. Pin-Lee grabbed his arm and shushed him.
Guarthin felt its grip on his jaw, then just for a moment it looked uncertain, but only for a moment. He felt so stupid, so slow and so very very human. And he couldn’t believe this was happening, that it really wanted this, wanted him; he opened up their feed connection and this time it felt smoother and more natural. He pulled it in, and reached out.
So it was hard to say who it was kissed whom first; simpler to say they kissed.
Which is actually the way it should be