Chapter Text
The first thing Izuku remembers after coming by is letting out a pained cough. He gasps for air and ends up sputtering. He feels like he's gonna straight up choke when suddenly something, or rather someone immediately turns his body on the side, making it easier for him to try and get rid of the water in his system. He retches and vomits out the unwanted liquid from his lungs.
The feeling is so unpleasant, the amount of water seems to never end. The seconds seem to last hours as he coughs and coughs and tries to catch his breath in between even more coughs. His chest hurts, it hurts so bad, it feels like someone stepped on him and kept digging his foot deeper into it.
A hand is placed on his back through all of it. It moves up and down and then draws circles as he continues to spew out the last bits of the water. It's soothing. He wants more of it.
Someone is talking to him, too. As he coughs and pants, he hears some bits, but he can't make them all out. But he feels drawn to the voice. He wants them to keep talking.
"Hey, hey, easy there, you're okay. You're okay, it's alright." The voice tries to bring him comfort, but it sounds so small and scared.
It feels like a century, but eventually, the spasms come to an end, and he doesn't have any liquid left in his lungs to expel. He hurriedly attempts to take a proper breath. But breathing hurts now. Izuku whimpers as his body completely slumps onto the floor, devoid of any energy. Why does it hurt so much to breathe? Can whoever is there with him make it go away?
The familiar voice speaks again and grabs his shoulder, but Izuku is out cold in a second.
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Inko gets up on from her chair and pats her skirt in order to straighten the folds in some places, and once she is satisfied with her appearance, she takes a step towards the door. She reaches for the handle but feels no presence behind her, so she turns her head and gives Katsuki, who was still sitting on the chair, a questioning look.
"Are you not going...?" She asks.
"Not now. But you go ahead, Auntie. I will see him soon." Katsuki responds, looking hesitantly at the door.
The woman is rather surprised by her friend's son's response. She kind of gets the man's hostility. Even though she didn't blame him for all that had happened, he still probably did. But she is also aware that Izuku would very much prefer it if his childhood best friend was there in the room with him.
"He probably can't wait to see you." She suggests, trying to sound energetic.
Katsuki burries his face into his collar, trying to hide away. From her, from the world, from the nearby future where he's gonna have to face Izuku again. He wants to see him, he needs to finally see it with his very own two eyes that he's alright. But also, he doesn't want to talk about what went down between the two. He doesn't want to go back to it, not yet.
"It's okay, Katsuki. As much as he wants to see you, he'd probably want you to be comfortable first. Besides, who am I to decide for my son? Maybe he needs some time before talking to you as well?" Inko suggests, punishing herself mentally for not thinking of Izuku's own well-being first.
Katsuki's raises his eyebrow at that.
Now, THIS is something he didn't like. He can go around stalling for time, but the mere idea of the nerd actually wanting some distance away from HIM made him feel angry for some reason.
Inko awaits for any response from the young pro hero, but when none comes, she slightly lowers her head with resignation and enters.
And the sight of her almost twenty-five year old son instantly turning his head to face her as soon as the door creaks makes her heart flutter with relief.
He's fully sitting up, having adjusted the back of the bed so. He seemed to have a vivid conversation with All Might before she had walked in. But he did not seem annoyed with the interruption, quite the contrary, as his eyes light up at the sight of his beloved mother.
"Mom!" He calls out to her with a grin and leans a bit forward, but then he lets out a hiss of discomfort and places a hand on his chest.
He clears his throat and reluctantly rests his back against the bed. He stares at her, sure, but his gaze keeps on slipping onto the door behind her. He does so more and more to the point that it can not go unnoticed.
"Izuku, don't look so pitiful, he is still here." Inko huffs out, pretending to be offended by her son making it quite obvious he would prefer a different company.
Izuku lets out a surprised squeak and looks away in embarrassment.
"I'm sorry, mom. It's so good to see you again! It really is! It's just--Kacchan--I need to--" Izuku tries and fails to justify himself.
In the meantime, Inko makes it to the hospital bed and pulls her only son into a hug. As gently as she could, she still remembered what the doctor had told her.
"It's good to see you too, Izuku." She mutters into his hair, and he hugs her back.
"I thought I would never get to hear your voice again, mom." Izuku whispers against his mom's shirt.
Inko pulls back and reaches for her son's face. Gently cups it in between her palms, taking in the sight. She notices his eyes are already glassy. So are hers.
"Oh, Izuku..." She chokes out, feeling all of the previous effort she had put in to gather herself up outside the room melting away.
"I'm so sorry, mom. I know I promised you a hundred times already that I wouldn't make you worried." Izuku sighs, voice heartbroken by how much distress he had caused his only family left.
Inko doesn't have it in her anymore to try and deny her worries. Izuku is her only son, for god's sake. Every time she learns about how close he got to the death's door, she feels like dying herself as well. It's like having your heart ripped out and then stomped on and thrown into a river. It doesn't matter whether he's a kid, a teenager, or a grown adult. He is her baby. For the rest of her life.
So she sniffles. One time. Second time. Third. Then she's back to crying, and she hides her face underneath her son's chin. Mad at herself once again for not being strong enough for him.
She feels like she kind of deserves this one. Sure, it's one thing when your son gets beaten up, and it's another when you learn his heart stopped beating. It was only rational to be terrified. She could allow herself to be weak guilt-free just this once.
Izuku opens his mouth to say something, but he feels way too much guilt to try and cheer her up. So he closes it and peeks at All Might, who was watching the reunion awkwardly from the other side of the bed. He gives him a...rather sad look? Which, for some reason, causes Izuku to feel even more bad as he tries to run away from what he has almost done a couple of hours ago. His face scrunches up, and he slowly rocks his sobbing mom back and forth in his arms.
He feels like he has no right to apologize. He feels like he has no right to even feel bad for his mom. Because he chose to throw it all away. So easily. When his life was put on the line, he chose Kacchan's. He chose him, knowing damn well it would completely crush his mom afterward. And he didn't care.
Izuku swallows, his eyes stinging with tears.
He did not care.
He looks down at his mom, still holding him as if he were the most precious thing to her. He was. And he wants to push her away. Because he feels like a rotten son. She loves him so much, and he chose to leave her completely alone in this world just a few hours ago.
Even Kacchan knew how much it would hurt her. He tried to fucking tell him that. And yet, he still...
"I'm sorry, mom. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Izuku gasps out, his own guilt trying to suffocate him.
"My baby... Izuku..." Inko continues to cry into his hospital gown.
She is fully aware of her son's choice. She loves him despite it. She never expected him to choose anything different. If he did, he would not be her son after all.
"Young Midoriya... I know how badly you must be feeling right now. But I need you to know-- There was no right choice to be made." All Might speaks up after a moment. "No matter who would end up being freed, there would be unfathomable pain inflicted regardless."
The Midoriyas keep on holding onto each other and sobbing.
"Mom." Izuku croaks out eventually through his tight throat. "Mom, I love you. You are very dear to me." He sobs out, and she lifts her tear-streaked face up. "I don't want to hurt you. Ever. But it was Kacchan, mom. And-- And you know I couldn't live with myself if I'd let him die."
All Might lets out a heavy sigh and turns his gaze towards the door.
Inko tries to wipe her face with her hands. Then she gets a hold of Izuku's ones and brings them up to her lips and sprinkles them in tiny kisses, just like back when he was a crying toddler who had just gotten a scratch. Izuku's heart cracks at that, and he quickly snatches his hands away as if his mom's lips burnt them. He can't forgive himself for doing all of that to her, not yet.
"Oh, honey... I know. I know it's just who you are..." She says with a sad and wobbly smile.
"No, mom. I wasn't being fair to you!" Izuku retorts, a set of fresh and angry tears rolls down his cheeks.
"There was no fairness to this whole situation, Izuku." Inko shakes her head. "It wasn't okay for me to lose you. But it also wouldn't be okay for Mitsuki and Masaru to lose Katsuki."
Izuku angirly brings his hand up to his face and tries to wipe his tears off.
"That's exactly why I should've come up with a plan to try and get both of us out. So that none would have to suffer. A hero should always know how to get himself out of a tight spot--isn't it what you always used to say, All Might?" Izuku asks and turns his head to look at the retired pro hero.
All Might gives him a defeated look. He scoots a bit closer and puts his old and wrinkly hand on top of his scarred one.
"For the most part, yes. But there are certain circumstances and situations where the odds are completely stacked against you and you just... Gotta claw at anything. To save yourself or the other." All Might sadly explains, trying to sound genuine to ease off some of the young man's frustration. "This was one of such cases. Neither of you could've done anything."
"You just wanted to do the right thing, Izuku." Inko joins in. "And I could never hold it against you, baby. Ever."
Izuku continues to sniffle for a long while, not feeling like he deserves any kind of empathy. He is feeling so loved right now. It's almost cruel. All Might strokes his hand on top of his, and his mom takes back the other one and holds it close, cherishing his presence. How could he possibly inflict so much pain upon them? If it weren't for the team of pro heroes under Best Jeanist's lead coming for the rescue, then those two would be so heartbroken now.
And Kacchan?
Izuku sadly turns his head to look at the door.
He really badly wants to say sorry to him. He just wants to see him first. Even if Kacchan's gonna yell at him and calm him names, he's just gonna be happy to see him standing next to him. That's all he ever needed.
"He's not going anywhere, sweetheart. I think he just needs some more time." Inko tries to cheer up her son upon noticing him staring at the door for the hundredth time.
"Did he say anything?"
"Well, not much, really. I think he's feeling guilty as much as you." All Might chips in.
Izuku looks down at the blanket as he can't stand both of his mom and All Might's pitiful stares.
Is Katsuki feeling guilty? Izuku wasn't gonna deny it, but it's not like All Might and his mom knew about...the other thing. And Izuku is afraid he had crossed over a boundary with Kacchan from which he would be never able to turn back . It wasn't only about the key. But he couldn't tell them about the kiss.
Suddenly, Izuku grunts and flops down onto the bed once more. Talking hurt. It hurt a lot now. Sobbing did even more.
"Izuku?" Inko asks, concerned. "If you feel like you need to catch a breath, please tell us."
Izuku nods in response.
"Honey, I am so glad that you have been brought back, but you have to take it easy for now. Doctors said that you have one rib broken, and another one got slightly bent. And that you might end up catching pneumonia." Inko explains and reaches her hand out to run it through her son's sweaty forehead.
"Yeah, considering Young Bakugo's roughness, I think it's safe to say it's a miracle you only ended up with just a one rib broken." All Might tries to lighten up the mood.
He receives no faint or even forced laughs, so he fully turns to face the Midoriyas and give them a disappointed look, but instead, he's met with them looking back at him with huge eyes.
"Katsuki is the one who...?" Inko stammers.
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"Dammit! Dammit! Izuku, wake the fuck up!" Katsuki shouts, desperately trying to keep on the right tempo with the compressions.
It's been going for hours. Katsuki swears it's only been a few minutes, but then again, he breaks what it feels like Izuku's seventh rib in a row, and that's a record he definitely couldn't achieve in just five minutes. You tend to lose track of time under stressful circumstances, right?
"Dynamight...Come on. He's gone." Best Jeanist says, and Katsuki feels his blood run cold at that.
"No! The hell?!" He barks out and snaps his head to look at his mentor in disbelief.
The air gets knocked out of his lungs at what he sees, however. Best Jeanist isn't the only one in the room with him anymore. Next to him stands Edgeshot. On his other side stands... All Might?
Katsuki narrows his eyes, not trusting what he was seeing. He wasn't in his original, scrawny, and skinny form. He looked the way he always did, the way he remembered him back when him and Izuku were kids. Back when he still had One For All. He stood there, wearing his trademark grin. It was getting underneath Katsuki's skin for some reason.
He really can't bring himself to care for All Might's sudden strength gain as he still has to tend to Izuku. So he turns his attention back to his unresponsive friend and continues desperately pressing down on his chest.
"Not to be that person, but some help would be appreciated." Katsuki eventually rasps, venom dripping down from his tone, when he finishes another set and nobody in the room reacts.
He tilts Izuku's head back and blows two rescue breaths. Once he's finished, he places both of his hands on his chest and continues to press down.
One. Two. Three. Four.
He halts for a moment and turns his gaze back at the pro heroes. There's a whole bunch of them now. Mirko, Death Arms, Mt. Lady, Kamui Woods, Mr. Aizawa, Cementoss, Thirteen, Midnight...
Wait, Midnight?
Katsuki shakes his head. He really can't afford to get distracted right now. He has to continue making Izuku's heart beat.
Ten. Eleven. Twelve.
"Let him go, Young Bakugo." All Might finally decides to speak.
And it's definitely not something Katsuki ever wanted to hear. Coming from him out of all people.
"No! What is wrong with you?!" Katsuki shrieks and turns his head to face his idol with angry tears shining in his eyes. "He is your--Fuck! You're supposed to save people!"
"Can't save the dead, kid." Mirko butts in, sounding apathetic.
"He's not dead yet." Katsuki growls through his gritted teeth. "But he might wind up dead if none of you is gonna do something!"
"Look at him, Dynamight." Best Jeanist requests. "You've been doing this for hours. Even if you get his heart to beat again, his brain is just..."
"Shut up! Shut the hell up! Why are all of you just standing there?" Katsuki shouts, as his eyes keep on frantically jumping from one hero to another, begging wordlessly for someone to step in.
His gaze returns to All Might.
"All Might, dammit, don't give up on him! Please. Please, just take over for a moment." Katsuki pleads, his arms feeling sore.
"Young Bakugo, you're holding on to a corpse."
"No! NO!" Katsuki yells, heartbroken by both his idol's betrayal and Izuku still not waking up. "Just do the compressions--I will keep on doing the rescue breaths. Please, at least one set."
An ugly feeling spreads across his whole body, however. He feels like he shouldn't beg any pro hero for that. They all should be gathered close and try to aid Izuku. Instead, they just stand there and judge. It's driving him into a frenzy.
"Fine, then! I will just do this on my own." Katsuki grunts out eventually. "He's gonna be so disappointed in you when he wakes up, though."
Time flies by ruthlessly. Katsuki as much as he tries to remain solely focused on Izuku, can't help but peek at the heroes nearby. And with each quick glance, he could swear he could see more and more of them gathering there. Some of them are pros he had known for years. Some are rookies whose names he doesn't even remember, but he's heard of them debuting a couple of days back.
And yet none, not a single person in this room, believes he can bring Izuku back.
"Alright, that's it. I don't think I can watch this thing drag on for much longer." Mt. Lady complains.
"She's right." Best Jeanist nods and takes a step forward. "Dynamight, I know this is gonna be hard to accept, but..."
"Look, if you wanted Midoriya alive, then maybe you should have put up a better fight." Aizawa scolds him, and Katsuki can feel himself shrink.
"It's almost like you wanted him to use the key on you." Mirko insists.
"No." Katsuki stammers.
"Yeah. You struggled to save some dignity, but the truth is you felt glad when the villain gave Deku the key. Because you knew you had your freedom guaranteed that way." Midnight joins in the judging crowd.
"Don't. Don't you dare." Katsuki snarls, absolutely hating what they were all implying.
He turns for All Might once more, trying to appeal to him for defense.
And he just stands there. Smiling.
"As if I would ever want goddamm Deku to sacrifice himself for me. I told him not to. Dammit, I told him not to!" Katsuki shouts and shakes Izuku. "You fucking asshole, I told you to keep the key!"
There's a slight shift in the air and something feels off, but Katsuki can't quite pinpoint it. Izuku feels a bit smaller underneath his palms. He keeps on pressing down his chest, trying to ignore the stupid caption on his light blue t-shirt that only spelled 'sleeping shirt'. Izuku's obliviousness felt almost like a mockery. He realizes that if he loses him, he's gonna miss him and his atrocious fashion sense.
The boy has fresh burn marks there and there, but Katsuki can't even recall where he could've gotten them.
All Might stands a bit closer, beside Best Jeanist.
"Alright, Young Bakugo, that's enough." He says and tries to approach the blonde.
Katsuki snaps his head towards the greatest hero this world has ever known and stares at him with a scowl.
"Break it up, you two." Mr. Aizawa commends and stares down at the two men on the ground. "Bakugo, get off of Midoriya. He has enough broken bones as it is."
"You have to know when to let go. If you can't save this one, you get up and run to save the others." Best Jeanist offers a piece of advice.
"You all have lost your minds." Katsuki says with disbelief. "He wouldn't give up on any of you. Goddammit, he wouldn't give up if it were me."
All Might fully makes it to Katsuki and reaches out his hands towards him.
"You have to accept that he's gone." He says, but his voice lacks any kind of emotion, and it's making Katsuki's blood boil.
Then he unexpectedly grabs Katsuki by the shoulders and tries to pull him away from the freckled man. The blonde doesn't take kindly to this, as expected. He lets out an angry yelp and hurriedly wriggles himself out of All Might's grasp. He crawls back and hunches over Izuku, almost as if he were trying to shield him from all of the people in the room.
When All Might tries to approach him again, Katsuki raises up his hand, and a few angry sparks fly out of his palm.
"None of you fucking dare to take him away from me!" Katsuki warns, his gaze scared and furious. "Stay back. Don't touch him."
He holds out his lit up and smoking hand like a weapon.
"Just look at him, Bakugo." Best Jeanist is the first one to speak after everyone went silent at Katsuki's outburst.
"Stay where you are!"
"I'm standing still, see? But just look at him..."
Katsuki grits his teeth, but obeys. His eyes widen at the sight of Izuku's all freckles being present on his pale face. He doesn't understand. He looks so much younger, too...
And then it strikes him. For some reason, Izuku is in his sixteen year old body. Had been so for quite a while now.
Katsuki looks down at palms. His right arm, the one that got completely mauled by Shigaraki eight years prior and took months of hardships and rehabilitation to work again, is spotless. There was not a single scar on it.
The facility they were trapped at for two days fades into nothingness. They were back at Ground Beta. Izuku's limp body lies beneath him, wearing his stupid looking shirt and black boxers and those iconic red shoes that were way too big for his feet. And Katsuki is all black, black shoes, black pants and black tank top.
The blonde raises his thumb to his right cheek to feel for his scar. He feels no bumps beneath his fingertip. Clear skin. All of their past erased. Erased because it had not happened yet.
And suddenly, he doesn't remember much of anything. He blinks and looks around him. Why was Izuku unconscious? Why was there a whole crowd watching them fight?
He looks down, and Izuku's eyes are open, but devoid of any life in them. His stare blank, looking at Katsuki, but not really seeing him. He's gone. He's just gone.
Katsuki pulls at his hair, struggling to catch a breath. His vison narrows around the edges, and a huge knot forms in his stomach. An unwanted thought, the grim realization of what has happened sinks in and he feels himself begin to hyperventilate.
What did he do? What the hell did he do?
"We tried to tell you." All Might says, trying to sound sad.
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Katsuki's eyes instictively snap open upon feeling something unidentified touching his shoulder. He insantly jerks away, tenses up and shoots an angry glare at whatever was the source, ready to jump at the potential threat.
To his surprise, he's met with Inko's scared, big eyes as she takes a step back, making a tiny, startled noise.
"Oh, dear, I didn't mean to scare you." She sighs, trying to appear unbothered so that the younger man wouldn't feel bad for scaring her.
Katsuki blinks sluggishly and quickly turns his head away as he feels a yawn coming up. He covers up his mouth with the back of his hand, and once he's done, he faces the green haired woman again.
"No, no, it's fine--Sorry for almost jumping down your throat." He apologizes, feeling sorry for giving the poor woman a scare.
He takes in his surroundings, trying to fully come back from his incoherent state of mind that his dream has left him with. The noisy chair underneath him reminds him that he is still at the hospital. He rubs his face with his hand, trying to come back to reality. Dammit, he must have drifted off.
"You must be so tired, Katsuki. Look, I know you want to stay here for Izuku, but if you go see him now, me and All Might can wait for you and then give you a ride back home." Inko offers, and then holds her breath and fiddles with her fingers. "Or you can come over to my flat, if you want. I can prepare you something warm to eat."
Katsuki, as much as he would LOVE to scarf down something, especially when it was Izuku's mom cooking, is forced to refuse the offer. Firstly, because he wasn't ready to talk to Izuku yet, and secondly, when they do end up having a conversation, it definitely ain't gonna be a short one, and there was no way Katsuki was gonna make Inko and All Might wait that long for him.
"No, I think I will hang around here for a bit longer. But I do appreciate it, Auntie." Katsuki politely declines and looks around. "Where's All Might anyway?"
"Oh, he stayed behind to talk with Izuku just one-to-one... I don't wanna come off as nosy, but I do wonder what it was about." Inko trails off and puts a hand on her cheek.
Katsuki swallows. He had a weird feeling he knew why All Might had stayed behind for. He was either making things easier in there for him or harder. Which one it would be, he is gonna find out soon.
"How is he?" Katsuki asks.
Inko hums happily. Almost as if she was trying to tease the young pro hero.
"You can go in and ask Izuku that yourself, you know?" She suggests.
"Can't catch a break, can I?" Katsuki scoffs.
"As I said earlier, he really can't wait to see you, Katsuki."
The blonde doesn't have anything to say to that. He honestly aches to see him too, now. The bitterness he held on to melts away bit by bit.
"I know you feel really bad and that you're taking all of the blame, but I need you to know that I'm not just being polite out of courtesy. I don't hold anything against you." Inko crouches down next to the chair so that her eyes can meet with Katsuki's.
The man feels embarrassed when he locks his eyes with hers. He can't help but feel like a little kid. He swears Izuku's mom is just so... Kind. Understanding. Motherly. Too good, to be even standing near him, let alone crouch down for him.
How could he live with the fact that he almost got her only child killed? Her world almost collapsed, and she dares to offer him a meal. She almost got left completely alone, and she spares him a smile. Insanity.
She takes his hand into hers, which causes the blonde to shift uncomfortably on the chair. He doesn't try to pull away, however.
"Even if you choose to wallow in the guilt, remember that you were the one who brought Izuku back. If you feel like you need to repent, you already did so when you made my son's heart beat again." Inko says, her words sincere and piercing Katsuki's heart.
He sucks in a weird-sounding breath, eyes wide as his brain processes each and every word. He is at the loss of words. All Might must've told her that he was the one who resuscitated Izuku, but Katsuki in no way could ever accept any thanks for that. It was his fault in the first place that Izuku ever needed to be brought back to life. That's the least he could've done for him.
But then again, wouldn't this way of thinking just drag on forever? That is not to say that Katsuki would just get up and happily move on from the whole thing, but maybe it would be just a bit healthier to accept that what's done is done and they ended up with the best possible outcome?
Katsuki turns his gaze away for a moment, as the kindness pouring out of Inko's eyes is too much for his sore heart to handle. Then he grips his hand, which is still in Inko's hold, and gets up, gently guiding the woman up with him.
"Alright, Auntie. I will try and... You know. Not let it bring me and Izuku down, okay?" Katsuki promises, grateful for the older woman's words.
"I so badly want to tell you 'take your time, Katsuki', but Izuku really seems to have some sort of itch to see you." Inko tries to lighten up the mood and slips her hand out of the blonde's grip.
Katsuki forcibly rolls his eyes. Yeah, he could guess so.
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Izuku sits on the bed, with his hands on his face, desperately trying to hide his burning cheeks. All Might chuckles and sinks into his chair further.
"Oh, come on, Young Midoriya, the cat is out of the bag now." He grins teasingly, and Izuku wishes he could at least have a paper bag to put on his head.
"Look, All Might, when you feel like you're about to die, you get like one hundred and fifty percent bolder at doing stuff!" Izuku tries to defend himself.
"Don't I know it."
"It's just--I dunno! I forgot about the whole world when I did that! Kacchan was right there, and he said something nice to me, and water was still rising, and things seemed hopeless, and I just thought 'well what else do I have to lose?' But I completely forgot that the villain could see us!" Izuku laments. "And now YOU did too! And to have you see me like that... Oh, you must think so many unspeakable things about me right now."
All Might shakes his head, still cackling at his old student.
"To think it would come to this. Oh, you two never cease to stop surprising me."
Izuku lets out an annoyed grunt and fully turns his head away from the older man. All Might feels kind of bad after a moment and places his hand on Izuku's shoulder.
"Look, I have not mentioned it to make fun out of you. The thing is, Young Bakugo is really insecure about the true motive behind you doing what you did."
Izuku tenses up at that and turns back towards his mentor.
"Do you also think I did this out of malice?" Izuku asks.
All Might shakes his head.
"Personally? No. Then again, I have no idea what went through your head back then. I know the heat of the moment can make people act in ways they never predicted they ever could." All Might answers truthfully. "I know how determined you can get to save someone when they're in danger. Even if it was a sneaky plan to distract Bakugo, I believe you had done so with no ill intent. Still, that doesn't make it right to him, though. And you're gonna have to tell him everything."
"It wasn't, All Might. It really wasn't, I swear." Izuku retorts, gripping onto the hospital blanket. "I kissed him because I wanted to, but when I noticed how much he actually..." He stammers, and some color returns to his cheeks. "He, uh... Got invested? I couldn't help but think that this was my only shot at slipping past him and getting the key."
All Might listens to the whole confession carefully. He crosses his arms but gives Izuku a fond look.
"If that's how you say it was, then I have no reason not to believe you. Still doesn't make it right to Young Bakugo, you know that, don't you?" All Might says, his tone understanding.
Izuku lets out a heavy sigh and turns his gaze at the floor, finally accepting what he has done.
"Yeah... I know." He admits, defeated. "But I promise you, I do love him. When I was underwater and about to run out of air, I went and kissed him again."
"Oh?"
"Yes. It was a short one, but it was the only way I could've let him know that my feelings were genuine." Izuku trails off, remembering those last couple of seconds before slipping out of consciousness.
The chain rattled at his weak pulls, and his lungs burned, but all he could think of when Kacchan pulled him back into the kiss, is that dying with his best friend's mouth on his is the best death he could've ever gotten.
All Might slowly gets up, and as he walks past the freckled man's bed, he gives his hair a slight, supportive ruffle.
"I will leave you to your journey to retribution, then. Your mom is waiting for a ride back home." He chuckles softly and heads for the door.
"...How mad is Kacchan, really?" Izuku asks with concern, causing All Might to halt and ponder.
"Let's just say, if you're lucky, you will end up with only three more of your ribs broken today." The old man teases.
Izuku's eyes almost pop out of his sockets.
"IT'S THAT BAD?"
All Might shakes his head, amused.
"No, Midoriya, he won't admit it, but he's dying to see you as well. You two take it easy, okay?"
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Izuku was no fool. He knew he couldn't expect Kacchan to waltz in right after All Might had walked out of his room. So he flops back onto his bed and waits for the other man to take his time.
Twenty minutes pass. Forty. An hour. An hour and a half. Two hours.
And Izuku's patience is wearing thin. He is all for giving Katsuki all of the space he needed, but this was just getting unbearable. At this point, he started getting doubts. Was he even at the hospital with him anymore? Maybe he left together with his mom and All Might? Sure, Izuku wouldn't blame him if he wanted to change his clothes and eat, but would he leave without even saying hi?
Izuku lets out an annoyed little groan as he taps his fingernails against the small desk placed next to his bed. He figures he can wait for another hour.
He figures wrong, as the curiosity eats away at his core.
He slowly gets up, hangs his legs over the edge of the bed, and puts on a pair of slippers. He's just gonna take a look to see if Kacchan was still outside, he thinks.
He carefully makes his way to the door, trying not to make any sound. He reaches for the handle, and as slowly as he ever could, he pushes the door open. Not fully, he keeps on pushing it until the crack between the door and the doorframe is wide enough for him to stick his head out. Then, Izuku cautiously turns his head to the right first. He's met with a wide hallway and a bunch of patients and hospital staff standing at the end of it.
He lets out a small and disappointed sigh.
He, now with less hope, turns his head to the left. There, almost instantly, his eyes lock with Katsuki's, who's been watching him like a hawk ever since he heard the door handle move.
He sits on the chair, with his arms crossed and a teasing pair of eyebrows. He only waited for Izuku to finally notice he had been spotted a long time ago.
And Izuku lets out a surprised yelp and jumps back, startled, and bumps his back against the doorframe. He hisses at the harsh contact and stares at his best friend with big eyes, looking like a deer caught in the headlights. A tiny blush appears on his cheeks as he feels embarrassed about his failed reconnaissance mission. He feels like a little kid who had just been caught by its mother trying to sneak into the room with a jar of cookies in it.
He has no idea what to say. He kind of expected Kacchan to be gone, so actually seeing him still waiting at the hospital caused so many emotions to flow right through his mind. His brain short-circuts. He's so happy. He's so scared. He wants to jump right at him and wrap his arms around him. He wants to take a step back and let him be. He wants to ask if he's alright. He wants to shut his mouth and let him speak.
Instead, a weird little, choked out noise escapes his throat, and he looks away in embarrassment, unable to formulate a sensible sentence.
Katsuki taps his boot against the floor in an irritated manner.
"Damn, Izuku, ever heard of respecting someone's boundaries?" Katsuki asks, trying to sound offended.
But he was failing miserably. Truth was, he was really amused by the fact that Izuku wanted to see him so bad that he couldn't wait patiently until he would come to him first. Peeking out of that tiny space between the door and the doorframe like a scared mouse. That's a sight Katsuki would try and remember for a long time.
Izuku, however, is unable to detect any insincerity in the blonde's voice. Afraid that he had disrespected Kacchan's boundaries for the second time today, he quickly raises his hands in defense.
"No, no, I just wanted to check if you're still here. I will leave you be now! I'm sorry." Izuku hurriedly apologizes and dips his head back into his room, roughly slamming the door behind him.
He barely managed to make it back to his bed, when the door hastly swings back open. He sits down, and watches Katsuki march in.
"Alright. We might as well talk now." Katsuki announces and leans against a wall after the door closes.
Izuku swallows dry at that. He's so happy to have Kacchan talk to him, he really is, but at the same time, he was scared of what he had to say to him.
The freckled man kicks the slippers off his feet but doesn't go back to lying on the bed. He remains sitting at the edge of it.
"How are you?" He finally manages to speak.
"Been better." Katsuki nonchalantly replies.
"Yeah, I know what you mean." Izuku replies with a dry laugh.
The conversation falls short after that. The air between them gets heavy, the silence is making Izuku uncomfortable. He shifts on the bed and starts patting his knees. He missed Kacchan, he really did, but he wished he hadn't fucked things up between them, so that goddamn atmosphere could go back to normal.
Katsuki eventually inhales through his nose and then exhales through his mouth. He takes a step forward, and Izuku watches him walk towards the bed. He grabs himself a chair and scoots closer to the freckled man as he begins to fiddle with his fingers, troubled by the proximity.
"Look, I know my bedside manners are crap." Katsuki begins. "So I'm just going to say that I am really glad to see you back amongst the living."
Izuku feels himself a relax a bit. A tiny smile creeps upon his lips. He lifts up his head and faces his best friend.
"Yeah. Me too. I hate getting my mom worried." He agrees.
The small smile disappears from his lips after he finishes his sentence. He comes to realize she wasn't the only person he got worried today.
"Kacchan..." He sucks in a quick breath and tries to gather enough courage to continue. "I know you're mad about which one of us got the key. And, uh, about the certain way I got to obtain it."
Katsuki furrows his eyebrows at the mention of the previous events, as Izuku expected.
"I don't know what you rehearsed with All Might when he was here, but it ain't gonna work on me, Izuku." Katsuki scoffs, apprehensive.
Now it's Izuku's turn to furrow his eyebrows.
"I will have you know that I didn't 'rehearse' anything with All Might. I did talk about it with him, yes, but so did you! It might as well be the both of you ganging up on me."
"Alright, alright. I get how stupid that sounded." Katsuki snorts.
"I don't need All Might to make up excuses for me."
"I said I get it, Izuku."
Izuku shifts on the bed and continues.
"I'm sorry things turned out the way they did. It was a horrible situation, but if time got somehow reversed and we would be sent back to that room, I would do it all over again."
"Honestly, I didn't expect any other answer from you." Katsuki says, his voice neutral. "Same here, honestly. I'd still beat the shit out of you to keep you away, so I guess that's one thing we can both agree upon."
Izuku lets out a chuckle. He can't tell what Kacchan's expression was, for half of his face was buried inside his collar. He was hoping he started to ease into the conversation as well.
"I know you were quite angry."
"I didn't want to lose you." Katsuki says again, and it causes Izuku to shut his mouth in an instant.
He says it so boldly. So confidently. With full chest. It makes Izuku feel so weird. His feelings were the same, that's why they were so determined to save one another. And yet, hearing Katsuki outward say it...
"I didn't either. I still don't. I know you have your reasons not to believe me, but when I kissed you," Izuku's voice becomes weird. "When I did that, I didn't plan on... You know. All that followed after."
Katsuki's eyes never leave him, but the blonde doesn't have anything to say to him yet.
"You didn't believe me then, and you probably don't do now, but all of this pressure, and the possibility of us dying, all of the adrenaline and stress mixed together. And--and then you said you were scared to lose me! It activated something weird in me. To see you so open, and actually admiting that you care for me--I didn't think or plan ahead, I just kissed you." Izuku anxiously explains, feeling sweat all over his body.
Katsuki opens his mouth, but before he can use his voice, Izuku decides he's not quite finished yet.
"And you can't try to turn this against me. Because, honestly I did not expect you to kiss me back. As soon as I leaned in I thought you were gonna punch me and throw insults. Instead, you kissed me back. You kissed me back, Kacchan, and you can't deny it."
"Why do you expect me to deny it? I'm not a coward. I don't run away from my feelings."
Izuku stammers at another bold confession. As much as he wants to be offended at the way Kacchan had worded it, he really can't bring himself to do so.
But it ultimately only doubles Izuku's guilt. Since Kacchan reciprocated his feelings as well, that meant he trusted Izuku enough to open up and be this vulnerable during their kiss. And Izuku used that to...
Izuku sniffs and looks down at his scarred palms in shame. What he did was in good intentions, he did want to save Kacchan's life after all. But the way he did it, the moment he chose--It all made him seem like a heartless bastard. The end justifies the means, he told himself that on repeat like broken record. But truth is, he really should've put himself in Kacchan's shoes more often.
Just how upset and angry he would be, if it was Kacchan who would end up with the key? How betrayed he would feel if he had kissed him just to suddenly ditch him mid kiss to dive in after the key? He'd see it as a distraction, too. He can't blame Kacchan for having a hard time believing him.
He reaches for Katsuki's hand, the one without a glove. The blonde had never picked it back up after he took it off in order to try and dig the key out. After Izuku had been brought back, he was solely focused on him; nothing else could've possibly mattered. Even when they were awaiting the ambulance's arrival, his eyes never dared to leave Izuku, who was lying unconscious on his lap. He watched with caution his every breath, hoping he wouldn't have to break any more of his ribs again.
Katsuki doesn't have it in him to admit how scared he was. His cries and desperate pleas, it was always gonna remain between him and the Best Jeanist. He loves Izuku, he cares for him deeply, but he never imagined he would lose his temper this badly. He almost didn't recognize himself when he thought back to the CPR. The wails sounded like they belonged to an unstable man, not a cool-headed and capable pro hero.
And yet, it all revealed Katsuki for who he really was when he thought the love of his life was about to slip through his fingers.
Izuku brings Katsuki's hand up to his lip and gives his knuckles a small kiss.
"I understand you being angry at me. And we don't have to come back to what happened ever again. Please, don't let it all ruin our bond that we worked so hard on for years, Kacchan." Izuku mutters into his friend's hand.
"Yeah, yeah. I'm not being completely fair with you, either. There was no reasonable choice to be made back there. One of us had to end up with the key. Can't hold it against you forever, given I was trying to do the same." Katsuki replies.
"...That was a really messed up thing to make us do, Kacchan." Izuku squints and complains after a while.
"You're telling me. It was obvious we wouldn't make it easy for one another." Katsuki rolls his eyes.
Izuku chuckles lightly again. Katsuki's heart drinks up the sound of that. He pulls his hand away from Izuku's lips and brings it up to his cheek, and caresses it. The green haired man leans into his touch like a cat and closes his eyes with a dreamy sigh.
"I will make sure to kick the villain's ass." Katsuki swears, sounding pissed off.
"Isn't he in custody now, though?"
"Yeah, at Best Jeanist's agency. I can probably talk him into giving me five minutes alone with him to have a discussion one-to-one."
Izuku turns his head like a confused dog.
"...Probably not. Best Jeanist doesn't like to bend the law."
"Tch. I will find my way in, one way or another."
"Don't get into any unnecessary trouble, Kacchan. The villain is gonna face a life sentence anyway. He had killed all of those other heroes..." Izuku sadly trails off.
"Hey. There's nothing we could've done for them. I barely managed to get you out alive."
Izuku doesn't respond. He sadly looks out the window by his bed.
"...Can we at least attend their funerals when their bodies get released? I mean, Splinter did help us during that quiz." Izuku brings up one of the fallen heroes.
"Yeah. Yeah, we can, Izuku. We owe them that much."
They sit in silence for a moment, mourning the loss of so many heroes. Most of them were rookies or sidekicks that have not made a name for themselves yet, but that absolutely did not mean their lives were of less value. They just were unlucky. Deku and Dynamight are gonna have to come to terms with the fact that their deaths were the villain's fault and his fault only.
"You should get going. You must be so tired." Izuku suggests after a while, when he notices that the sun is about to completely set.
"Oh, am I getting dismissed?" Katsuki asks with a forced scowl.
Izuku shakes his head with a small grin.
"No. I want you to stay. I want you to stay with me all night, up until I get discharged. But it's not right for me to require that from you when you haven't gotten a chance to rest or eat yet. I mean, you haven't even changed out of those wet clothes." Izuku explains and eyes Kacchan from downwards to upwards.
Katsuki's lip curls. Just who did Izuku think he was? He dragged his mauled and half-dead body, with his chest torn open for hundreds of kilometers just to be there for him during his final battle with Shigaraki eight years ago. This? This was quite literally nothing compared to that. Izuku seemed to underestimate the things he was capable of doing to be close to him.
"Well, too bad, cuz I'm staying the night." Katsuki announces with a smirk.
"What? Kacchan, you don't have to force yourself. If you want to stay, then at least go back home, change, and eat and rest and then come back." Izuku whines.
"Will do that in the morning. For now, scoot over." Katsuki orders and stands up.
Izuku doesn't move, however.
"No. No, no and no. You're going back home and that's final." Izuku insists and crosses his arms.
Katsuki stares at him. Izuku stares back. They both wait for the other to finally falten. A couple of seconds pass and none's will gets broken yet. A teasing grin appears on Katsuki's face and Izuku feels his cheeks burn.
Suddenly, the blonde's hands shoot for his face and he's pulled into a kiss. That's a bargain Izuku cannot resist he's afraid. He eagerly kisses Kacchan back, the kiss now way more softer and happier than it was back at the facility. Izuku melts into it happily and Katsuki lets out a pleased groan.
Suddenly, Izuku wraps his arms around Katsuki's neck and drags him hastly downward, onto the bed. Katsuki allows himself to fall freely, up until his eyes snap open and he yelps upon remembering something important. He ends up landing on his elbows, stopping himself from crushing Izuku in the last second.
"Oi, Izuku, you idiot! You want the broken rib to puncture your lung?!" Katsuki angirly barks after breaking the kiss as he glares at the man pinned underneath him.
Izuku can't answer. He's laughing. He's laughing so hard, it actually hurts. It hurts, yet he can't bring himself to stop and throws his head back.
"What's so damn funny, nerd?" Katsuki tries to sound angry, but can't help the corner of his mouth from going a bit upwards. Izuku's genuine laughter was just so damn infectious.
_________________________________
"I told you to get a shower first. You stink like a wet dog." Izuku pouts and crawls to the other side of the bed.
Katsuki lets out an annoyed groan. He stretches out his arm until it reaches the part of the bed where Izuku was trying to get away to, wraps it around the man and forcibly pulls him back in.
"Nooooo...!" Izuku shrieks as he is being helplessly dragged across the mattress, but his voice is happier than ever.
"Weren't you the one who told me to keep quiet, so that we don't get in trouble for sharing the bed in case a nurse walks in?" The blonde murmurs, half-asleep.
"Ughhh."
Izuku struggles die down, and he rests, defeated. He hides his head underneath Katsuki's chin. The blonde can feel Izuku's displeased grimace against his neck and he snorts.
"You don't smell like roses either, you know?" He says and buries his face into Izuku's curls.
"At least I got some fresh clothes." The freckled man complains.
"And yet your hair smells like sewer."
"No it doesn't!" Izuku lets out an offended gasp and gives his childhood best friend a playful shove to the side.
"You're lucky you got yourself a broken rib because otherwise you would get elbowed off this bed now." Katsuki threatens and Izuku giggles.
As much as he complains about Kacchan lying in his hospital bed, which was clearly meant for just one person, he's happy he insisted on staying. It was both thrilling and relaxing, for some reason. At first when the blonde suggested to stay the night, Izuku assumed he actually meant to sleep on the chair beside his bed. Imagine his puzzled look when he watched Kacchan kick off his boots and casually slip underneath the covers, right next to him.
Katsuki's close presence was soothing. The way he hold him close and cuddled, made Izuku's heart flutter. He loved the closeness. He found comfort in Katsuki's arms after everything. He's happy he had forgiven him.
"...Goodnight, Kacchan." Izuku sighs, ready to finally let this tiring day end.
"Mhm. 'Night, Izuku." Katsuki mumbles, visibly needing the rest.
Izuku snuggles up close and gives Kacchan a small kiss on the neck, to which the blonde hums pleasingly in his sleep. Then he drifts off to sleep himself, hoping they both manage to wake up before any doctors walk in on them in the morning.