Chapter Text
Jimin's legs have long gone numb by the time he hears splashing footsteps. Neither one of them has moved, allowing the rain to wash away their sins and the last of the blood that has finally gone cold between their conjoined hands.
Words fail him. They slip away from him the way the rainwater trickles down the drain. The heavy ache in his heart pulsates with every breath he takes and his grip on Jeongguk's hand is tight. Frightened that if he lets go, he'll really turn into plastic and he'll be gone.
Even when the cold seeps through his sopping wet clothes, forcing him to quake and tremble. His teeth chatter and click. He doesn't care. He burns hot with his fear that if he lets go for even a second...
The splashing steps turn into multiple steps and voices, pricking at Jimin's ears. He lifts his head to peek over his shoulder, noting the distorted shadows gradually getting closer.
Jeongguk's hand tightens a fraction around Jimin's. "Half-Pint?"
"It's Yoongi and Namjoon," Jimin whispers to the unasked question.
Abruptly, Jeongguk animates. He jolts and releases Jimin's hand, terror mangling his youthful features. "Taehyung. I have to- I have to get to Taehyung."
Stumbling to their feet, Jimin reaches to touch Jeongguk- a simple brush of his fingers over his cheek, a delicate caress against his tattooed bicep- but Jeongguk recoils and shakes his head adamantly.
Jimin's hand drops back to his side uselessly.
"Jimin-ah! Jeongguk!" Namjoon skids to a stop, the rain running in rivulets down his face. His dark eyes are laden with relief and fear. "Oh, thank God you're both alright."
Without wasting a second, Yoongi blows past Namjoon to throw his arms around Jeongguk and pull him into a tight embrace. The younger man startles, eyes blowing wide, but he slowly returns the hug.
"Don't you ever do that again, Jeongguk-ah! You scared the shit out of me," Yoongi snarls when he pulls away, glaring up at Jeongguk's face with a minute scowl curling within his features.
Jeongguk separates himself from Yoongi. "Where is Taehyung?"
"He's on the way to the hospital now," Namjoon reports, thumb over his shoulder. "I have men that locked down the entire area and the EMT started working with Taehyung. They're taking pictures of the crime scene now."
"Yeah, well, they're gonna need to expand on that." Jeongguk steps aside with a shockingly neutral expression to showcase Officer Han's carcass.
Namjoon's expression pinches. "Is he...?"
"Shot in the face?" Jeongguk's smile is crooked. "Yeah."
Nodding, Namjoon presses his lips together. "I'll file it under self-defense, but I'm going to need a statement."
"I'll testify," Jimin offers.
"That'll certainly help keep Jeongguk out of the proverbial doghouse. At least for now."
"I don't care about any of this shit right now," Jeongguk states sharply. "I want to get to Taehyung."
Pointing back towards the crime scene, Namjoon tosses Yoongi his keys and the man catches it easily mid-air. "Go and I'll finish up everything here. I'll take your statements at the hospital after I am done cleaning up this fucking mess." He blows out his cheeks and rubs his face. "I am so fired."
Patting Namjoon's shoulder, Yoongi says, "Yeah, but at least maybe you can avoid prison."
Namjoon's face doesn't look the least bit placated.
Jeongguk, Jimin, and Yoongi sprint through the rain in the direction of the crime scene, barely pausing even when their feet slip on the soaking cement and the rain stings their eyes. They follow the flashing red and blue lights.
"Get in." Yoongi unlocks Namjoon's police cruiser with a beep.
Throwing himself into the backseat, Jimin watches breathlessly as Jeongguk takes the passenger seat. He's barely buckled up with Yoongi peals out of the parking lot with the siren wailing.
"Are we going to talk about what the fuck happened back there?" Yoongi asks after ten minutes of strained silence. His gaze burns Jimin from the rearview mirror.
"I'd rather not." Jeongguk remains glaring out the passenger window.
"Well, considering it's my job and my ass on the line, I think we should." Yoongi's hands tighten around the steering wheel, tongue clicking against his teeth. "It seems that Officer Han wasn't working alone. Jimin and I got ambushed up in that damned haunted house."
"He was alone," Jeongguk rebukes with a shake of his head. "Hitman sent him here to die."
Jimin inhales sharply. "What?"
"He knows that Han was compromised and he knew that we'd set a trap to find the leak in the police force." Jeongguk levels Jimin with a placid look. There is no life behind his dark eyes. "So, he let us do it. He sent Han to us with the promise that he would come to finish us off."
"But he never intended that," Jimin breaths in shock. "He knew that..."
Jeongguk nods once and turns his head away. "Hitman knew that I would kill him."
Yoongi makes a strangled noise in the back of his throat. "And you did it anyway? Fully aware that it was a part of the plan?"
"Yeah, I did." Jeongguk curls his lip. "Eye for an eye. I don't fucking care if I go blind."
Swallowing thickly, Jimin stares down at his hands resting in his lap. Specks of dried blood can be seen on the pads of his fingers. "Which means that the two people sent to incapatate us were a distraction so that we wouldn't interfere with you and Han. They were just Hitman's pawns."
"Bingo."
The silence in the car is stifling. It's ripe with words that are too horrific to say aloud and tangible questions brimming that no one voices.
And Jimin's hand is cold.
By the time the hospital comes into view, Jimin is relieved. Anxiety is heavy in his gut and his hands are shaking with fear of what they'll uncover when they get in there. Taehyung has always felt like this untouchable thing- a God among rats.
There is no greater hell than when an immortal God bleeds.
It's a blur from there. A flurry of car doors slamming, the squeaking of boots on linoleum tiles, and the thick stench of disinfectant that clogs his nose. A bustle of white hallways and bustling halls of nurses.
"Mr. Kim is right in here," the nurse says gently, her eyes haunted. Her smile is tight and brittle. She doesn't look at the two police officers guarding the door. "He just got out of surgery, so he'll be out for a while."
"Thank you," Yoongi grunts, but he doesn't look at her. His hands open and close into fists.
The nurse hurries away with her clipboard clutched to her chest. "Call if you need anything."
Flashing his badge to the two officers, Yoongi shoves open the door with Jeongguk at his heels as they all but trip into the room.
Thankfully, it's a private room. Only one bed with a window, the blinds closed, and a few lounging chairs that Jimin is certain his ass is going to be intimately familiar with by the end of this.
And Taehyung. Taehyung pale and ashen, practically bloodless, with his hair fanning over the pillow like a fallen angel banished from grace. An oxygen mask covers his face, breathing shallow and slow, and eyes closed.
Seokjin is cradling his brother's limp hand, staring at it as if silently willing it to move or return the desperate hold. His hair is tousled and unkempt, mouth white, and eyes bloodshot.
"Hyung."
Seokjin raises his head slowly at the sound of Jeongguk's voice. Heartbreak crests over his face and he releases Taehyung's hand to open his arms. The younger man wastes no time in running over and tucking himself in his embrace.
"Jeongguk-ah..."
Stumbling forwards, Yoongi bites down on his lip hard enough to draw blood. His eyes are misty as he peers down at Taehyung's prone form, hand trembling. He brushes his fingers over his forehead.
Rocking Jeongguk back and forth, Seokjin squeezes his eyes closed. "What happened out there?"
"It was a trap," Jimin says quietly. He approaches the bed and gently sets his hand on Taehyung's foot hidden beneath the scratchy hospital blanket. "Hitman set us up."
"Two of Hitman's pawns went after Yoongi and Jimin, who was our sight. We never got the warning that the Mole was there, and he killed Lisa and wounded Taehyung," Jeongguk explains tightly.
Seokjin tenses and pulls Jeongguk away. "Lisa is dead?"
"Han- the Mole- shot her. She died in Taehyung's arms." Jeongguk flickers his gaze towards Yoongi who has gently picked up his hand to clutch it close to his chest.
Releasing Jeongguk, Seokjin stands and begins to pace in front of Taehyung's bed with his hands raking through his hair roughly. "Lisa's dead and Taehyung is..." he grimaces and doesn't finish. "Tell me that the fucking Mole is dead. Tell me this wasn't for nothing."
"It wasn't for nothing," Jeongguk reassures stiffly. "I killed himself."
Seokjin pauses and faces Jeongguk with a smile so sinister that Jimin feels a chill rush down his spine. "Good."
"Unfortunately, that also means that our one connection to Hitman is also in the dumps," Yoongi interjects sharply. "So, we're back to square one."
"Not quite." All eyes dart to where the husky, hoarse voice croaks with all varying expressions of shock. Jimin's heart leaps to his throat when Taehyung's dark eyes flutter open. His eyes flitted to Yoongi first and he smiled weakly. "Hey, where's your hot nurse outfit, baby? I'm a wounded man."
Laughing wetly, Yoongi tosses Taehyung's hand and shakes his head. He removes the oxygen mask to capture his lips in a searing kiss. "I hate you, Kim Taehyung."
Taehyung's smile softens when Yoongi carefully replaces the oxygen mask and cups his cheek. "I think that kiss says otherwise, but alright, baby."
Marching over, Seokjin flicks Taehyung's forehead that earns a loud whine from the injured broker. "What the hell is wrong with you, Kim Taehyung? I raised you better than that! What is the number one rule?"
Rubbing his red forehead, Taehyung pouts up at his older brother. "Don't leave dead bodies unattended?"
"No," Seokjin snaps, "that's rule three."
Jimin is suddenly extremely concerned about what is rule two.
"If it ain't cremated it ain't dead?"
"That's rule five!"
Taehyung groans, oxygen mask fogging. "Man, I'm drugged outta my mind right now. How am I supposed to remember all your rules when there are a hundred and eight of them?"
Yeah, I was right to be concerned.
"The rule is to not get shot!" Seokjin steams and flicks his forehead again. Taehyung whines and stares imploringly up at his brother. "And you broke that rule!"
"You got shot a few weeks ago!" Taehyung defends petulantly.
Seokjin taps his chest. "Bulletproof vest."
"Hakuna Matata." Taehyung waves it off. "You also broke the rule."
Throwing up his hands in defeat, Seokjin eventually leans down and gives the injured broker a clumsy hug as he attempts to avoid the wires and IV line to cause further harm to his brother. "You scared me, Tae-Tae-yah."
Softly, Taehyung returns his brother's hug and sighs into his shoulder. "Sorry, hyungie."
When Seokjin pulls away, he wipes at his damp cheeks and strides over to the closed window to shield his expression.
Craning his head, Taehyung locks eyes with Jeongguk and holds out his hand. The younger one takes it in his own. He gives it a squeeze. "Hey, Bun."
"Hey, hyung. Why didn't you tell me you were hit?"
Taehyung shrugs. "It didn't matter at the time. Rule number twenty-five, right? Always finish a job."
Seokjin scoffs. "That's rule eight, you moron."
Rolling his eyes, Taehyung points towards his IV. "I'm drugged!"
"Not enough in my book," the older brother mutters under his breath.
Gently fluffy Taehyung's pillow, Yoongi brushes his hand down his bare arm that doesn't have an IV or dozens of wires ensuring that Taehyung's big mouth remains moving. "What did you mean earlier, Tae-yah? About not quite being at square one with Hitman."
Grimacing, Taehyung shifts his weight and sags back against his bed. "We still have Sejin."
"Yeah, you're definitely drugged," Jeongguk says with a snort. "There is no way that he is going to say much else, and not to anyone else since his buddy is now dead."
"I hate to agree, but Jeongguk has a small point." Yoongi pinches the bridge of his nose. "After everything, I don't think we can expect anything from Sejin from now on. Someone, who shall remain nameless-"
"Jeongguk," Seokjin coughs and then smiles innocently when Jeongguk casts him an unamused glare.
"-broke his nose."
Heaving an elongated sigh, Taehyung flicks his gaze towards the ceiling. "So, what now? Where does that leave us?"
"It leaves us needing to heal and regroup," Jimin states evenly. All eyes turn to him and he offers a wry, tired smile. "It's the most logical thing we can do right now. Taehyung-ah, you need to recover and heal. Jin too. We just need to find a safe place to reconvene. And during that time, maybe we can shift our focus to tracking down Key with Jeongguk's Velveteen hacking abilities. We haven't lost yet.."
Taehyung grins tiredly, his eyes beginning to droop. "We'll make a fine criminal out of you yet, Jimin-ah."
Laughing, Jimin shakes his head. "Let's not push it."
Seokjin crosses his arms over his chest and cants his head. "What do you think, Jeongguk-ah? You up for the challenge of finding Key?"
"Of course, hyung."
"Then, it's settled. We'll take refuge at the safe house with Hoseok," Seokjin says with a nod. "Jeongguk-ah, you need to move the Burrow there. We're sticking together. It's clear now that Hitman wants us dead, so let's not give him the chance to take us out one by one."
Nodding, Jeongguk grabs Taehyung's hand, but the man doesn't even react. His eyes are closed and his breathing is deep. "I can do that."
"Good." Seokkjin pivots towards Jimin. "Stay with JK and Hoseokie. I'm trusting you to help watch over them both, Jimin-ah." His dark eyes burn. "Please... protect them."
Without hesitating, Jimin wraps his arms around Seokjin's waist. The man tenses, his breath hitching in his lungs, but he finally returns the gesture. "I'll protect them with my life."
"I know. That also scares me."
Pulling apart, Jimin meets Seokjin's stare. "I'll have Yoongi stay with you and Taehyung."
"Okay."
With soft-spoken promises of seeing each other soon, Jeongguk and Jimin extract themselves almost painfully from the others. They walk silently down the hall, hands parallel and never touching, but close enough to feel the heat.
Jimin turns on the car and sets his hands on the wheel. "Well, today was a shit-show."
Jeongguk snorts gruffly, a hint of a smile curling at the corner of his lips. "No, really, Jimin-ssi? Whatever gave you that crazy idea?"
Shrugging, Jimin grins. "I don't know. It just kinda came to me."
"Are you sure it wasn't that gnarly gash on your head?" Jeongguk points towards Jimin's temple, his eyes crinkling with the smallest touch of worry. "Or was it the flying bullets?"
"See, I was gonna say it was gnarly because of the sheer number of rules between the Kim brothers'."
"You don't know half of it." Jeongguk laughs heartily. "Rule number thirty-one is no socks in the kitchen sink."
Confused, Jimin scowls. "Why would there be socks in the kitchen sink?"
"I have no fucking clue."
"And why is it a rule?"
"Supposedly," Jeongguk drawls, "it happened more than once."
And Jimin laughs. And laughs. And laughs. He can hear Jeongguk laughing along with him, the horror of the day momentarily fading into the backdrop and the sound of Jeongguk's heart wrenching cries drowning.
Because this is safe. The scent of Jimin's camry that smells faintly of Jeongguk's cologne and cigarette smoke that will take years to get out of his upholstery. Their biting banter now tinged with uncertain affection and unbridled serenity.
Jeongguk's heart is wild; it's needlepoint teeth and rolling valleys cast over sunsets. It's a racing heartbeat and calloused hands over bare skin. It's wings in the sky and whiskey on his tongue.
But Jimin doesn't want to tame this wild heart. He doesn't want to tame the bite of his needlepoint teeth or cage it.
No. He wants to run with it. He wants to be set free.
"Why do I get the feeling you're partially the cause of all of those ridiculous rules?" Jimin asks between bouts of his laughter. His gut aches, but the stretch of his smile is delicious.
"Probably because I totally am. Rule number seventeen?" Jeongguk winks and leans back in his chair. "All me, Half-Pint."
"Do I dare ask what the rule is?"
"I am no longer allowed to make or eat anything with potatoes."
Jimin snickers. "What the fuck? Why?"
"Because the last potatoes I made somehow managed to stick to the plate to the point I could hold it upside down." Jeongguk's cheeks dust bright red and he rubs the back of his neck. "Jin was so horrified that he wouldn't even feed me potatoes."
"Oh my God." Jimin shoves Jeongguk's shoulder and covers his mouth with his hand to stifle the laughter. "How did you even manage that?"
Jeongguk shrugs. "I have no fucking idea."
Shaking his head, Jimin puts the car into reverse and backs out of the parking spot. "You're crazy, Bugs Bunny."
"I know." Jeongguk pulls out his phone and connects it to the aux cord, clicking on some song that begins to pour through the speakers.
By the time they manage to load all of Jeongguk's computer equipment into the car and arrive back at Taehyung's safehouse where Hoseok has been holed up, dawn is breaking.
There is no room for talking when Jimin and Jeongguk get to work unloading the equipment as quietly and quickly as possible in one of the spare bedrooms. All the lights in the place are off and Hoseok is fast asleep on the couch, arm hanging off the edge and mouth hanging open.
Wiping his sweat with the back of his hand, Jimin grimaces when he touches the tender spot on his head. He pulls hand away to see a tinge of crimson mixing with his sweat. "Shit. My head."
Standing from where he was crouched under his new desk with the wires, Jeongguk strides over and grabs Jimin's hand to pull it away from the wound. "Don't touch it. Do you want it to get infected, idiot? Why didn't you get looked at when we were at the hospital?"
Rolling his eyes, Jimin glares up at him. "In case you didn't notice, Carrots, I was a little preoccupied with Taehyung being shot. Excuse me if a bump to the head doesn't take priority."
"This is a bit more than a bump in the head, Jimin-ssi," he rebukes with an arched brow. "You're bleeding."
"And? It's blood, not nuclear waste." Jimin moves to kneel back by the desk, but Jeongguk slides his arm around his waist to haul him backwards. He squeaks. "What the hell are you doing?"
"Dragging you to the bathroom to clean you up. What the hell does it look like?"
"Manhandling, kidnapping, harassment-"
Jeongguk swallows the rest of the words by bending down and capturing Jimin's lips.
The kiss is hot and demanding. The taste of Jeongguk is feral on Jimin's tongue. He pries open Jimin's mouth, breathing into him as if making a home deep inside of him, and when he pulls apart, Jimin tries to chase his lips.
Startled, he stares up at Jeongguk in confusion. "What the hell was that for?"
"Showing you that you would have gone willingly." Jeongguk's smile is downright demented. "So, therefore, it isn't any of those things. Right, Detective?"
Narrowing his gaze, Jimin huffs. "Oh, ha, ha. Bastard."
Together, they stumble towards the bathroom. Jimin tries to not look over at the shower, knowing that his mind will inevitably recall the last time they had bathed together.
Grabbing Jimin's waist, Jeongguk hauls him onto the bathroom counter as easily as lifting him a pillow and he squeals when he almost slips into the sink if he hadn't had half the mind to catch himself.
"You know, I am a grown man. I wipe my own ass and everything." Jimin squirms to push himself out of the bowl of the sink and level Jeongguk with a squint. "I don't need you to baby me."
Snatching a clean washcloth from the linen closet, Jeongguk kneels to reach under the sink and pull out a white First-Aid kit. "And tomorrow you're going to learn how to dress yourself, Jimin-ssi. Congrats."
Banter is safe. Banter is easy, but the gentleness in Jeongguk's touch when he places the washcloth dipped in peroxide against his head isn't. His half-confession from earlier is ringing in his ears as he stares at Jeongguk's beautiful face.
The dustings of acne scars and the mole hidden under his lip. The crinkle of his eyes and his warmth breath fanning over Jimin's face. The taste of him lingering on his lips.
The sting of the peroxide is a bittersweet distraction.
"You're staring, Jimin-ssi."
Sighing, Jimin pushes Jeongguk's hand away from his head. "What are you doing, Carrots? Seriously."
"How hard did you hit your head?" Jeongguk asks and holds up the washcloth. He feigns muted horror and covers his mouth. "Quick! What year is it and who's your daddy?"
Jimin scowls. "Jeongguk-ah. I'm trying to have a serious conversation with you."
"And I'm trying to subtly avoid it," Jeongguk rebukes tersely, tossing the used washcloth into the tub. He backs away from Jimin and averts his eyes to look anywhere but at her.
"Well, don't," Jimin hisses through clenched teeth. He slides off the sink and lands on his feet. "We need to talk about this."
"No, we don't." Jeongguk backs up until his spine hits the wall. "We're good at that, aren't we? It's what we're best at, in fact. You pretend that I'm not a hardened criminal and I pretend that you're not a damn cop who arrested me. We fuck each other, we play stupid games and insult one another. Why change something that works?"
"Because it doesn't work!" Jimin grinds his teeth together and pinches the bridge of his nose. "Why are you acting like this?"
"Why do you want to talk?" Jeongguk stares at him. "Come on, Detective. Why can't we just... not? Why can't I just clean off your stupid head and make shitty ass jokes with you that drive you crazy, huh?"
"Are you fucking serious?" Jimin can feel the way his heart cracks. Feel it like a whip against his back. A sting so bitter that it leaves the taste of nightshade on his tongue. "Out there, in the rain, you said that-"
"It doesn't matter what I fucking said, Jimin." Jeongguk is suddenly in Jimin's space, pushing him so close that the edge of the counter digs into his back. "Don't ruin this. Please. Don't say something that we're both going to regret. Something there is no going back from."
Swallowing the lump in his throat, Jimin pushes Jeongguk's shoulder and glares down at the ground. "Please... get out."
Jeongguk sighs heavily. "Jimin-ssi..."
"Get. Out."
A moment of straining silence, then Jeongguk withdraws. He slips out of the bathroom like a wraith and closes the bathroom door behind him so quietly that Jimin barely heard it.
________
Jeongguk lingers outside the bathroom door. Every single inch of him is screaming to go back in there, cradle him close, and whisper apologies in his ear until the words have lost all sorts of meaning, but he can't.
For years, he has survived on the streets with a destructive sort of self-preservation. He can't break that now.
"Jeongguk-ah?"
At the sound of Hoseok's soft, welcoming voice, Jeongguk feels like that lost teenager again. Peter Pan trying to find Neverland with only the belief that he can fly from the ledge of a building.
He whips around to see Hoseok standing in the archway of the living room, a blanket draped over his shoulders and his stretched out shirt revealing his collarbones.
Whatever the prostitute sees on his face makes him quickly open his arms. "Oh, Guk-ah..."
Unable to stop himself, Jeongguk sprints for him and all but cocoons himself in Hoseok's warm embrace. He buries his face in his shoulder and soaks in the touch of his hands in his hair.
Carefully, Hoseok maneuvers them into the living room and back onto the couch. He never loosens his tight hold, rubbing his back and tangling his fingers in his ink-colored hair. "What's wrong, baby? Talk to me."
Tightening his arms around Hoseok, Jeongguk presses himself as close as he can. In his mind, he feels like he is small and gangly, the same way he was when Hoseok found him, and it's all he can do to not weep.
"Loving any one of us is a death sentence, isn't it?"
Hoseok tenses. His brow knits together. "What?"
"Hitman is never going to stop." Jeongguk tightens his arms around Hoseok's waist, his bones creaking and voice trembling. "I shouldn't have joined. I shouldn't have brought you, Taehyung, Jin... Jimin. Lisa is dead. Like it's nothing. Like she never mattered."
Grief and rage flicker over Hoseok's face like a shuddering camera lens. He bows his head over Jeongguk's shoulder, a single tear streaking down his face. "Lisa is gone?"
Jeongguk raises his head, eyes dark. "Hitman is never going to stop until we're dead and I think I just broke Jimin's heart."
"No. Just the opposite, I'm afraid. You're so easy to love that I'm not too sure I stood a chance."
The softly whispered confession is branding itself along the pieces of his glass heart. Every single piece is signed with Jimin's name and spreads throughout his entire body.
And Jeongguk is drowning in fear. Death does not discriminate. It reaches out it's boney hand like a beckoning call that none can ignore. You can run. You can hide, but at the end, the Grim Reaper will always win. It can touch Jimin; Taehyung, Hoseok, Seokjin, Namjoon, and Yoongi. It can touch them and pull them away from him.
"You did what?" Hoseok cradles Jeongguk's cheeks in his hands, searching Jeongguk's heartbroken face incredulously. "What do you mean you think you broke his heart?"
Ashamed, Jeongguk pulls his head from his hands and averts his eyes. "I can't, hyung. If I... allow myself even a moment... I'll fall apart at the seams. I'll unravel like yarn and I don't think I'll have the strength to stitch myself back together."
Brushing his inky fringe from his eye, Hoseok sniffles. "Oh, Guk-ah... my precious little bunny. I'm... I wish I could take this burden. I wish I could bear the weight of your pain."
"No, hyung." Jeongguk leans forward to press his forehead against Hoseok's and they both seep into the familiar warmth of each other's touch. "I need you to promise me something, yeah?"
"Anything."
"If things go south, no matter what happens, you'll take care of yourself. You'' chase after your dreams and-and..." Jeongguk keens weakly. "And you'll take care of Jimin for me."
Hoseok squeezes his eyes shut. "Guk-ah..."
"Promise me."
"I promise."
Pulling away from Hoseok, Jeongguk straightens. The relief is captivating. Breathtaking. "Thank you. I need to... I need to get some sleep."
"Guk-ah."
Jeongguk pauses and glances over his shoulder towards Hoseok.
"The fire that burned in your eyes... where'd it go?"
"I don't know." A lie, of course, but saying the truth aloud felt wrong. As if it would snuff out the embers and steal away the last source of his light. "I love you, hyung."
"I love you, Guk-ah."
And isn't that the most damning thing of all?
_____________
"Don't ruin this. Please. Don't say something that we're both going to regret. Something there is no going back from."
"It hurts... I don't want to hurt anymore. I don't want to be like this, but I can't- I can't. I can't stop myself anymore."
"I didn't- I didn't want to be plastic anymore."
Sighing, Jimin rolls back over and forces his eyes closed. The blissful release of sleep doesn't come. Not that he expected it to.
Every time that he closes his eyes, he can feel the cold sting of the rain against his skin. The sound of rumbling thunder reverberating throughout his entire frame. The searing hot touch of Jeongguk against his skin and the sound of calamity in Jeongguk's voice.
So, this is what happens when you reach for the stars. One day, you're going to return to earth.
The door to Jimin's guest bedroom creaks open. He forces himself to stay still, silently holding his breath at the sound of bare feet against the floor when the door clicks closed.
The other side of the bed dips, covers being tugged over a lean body, and the warm scent of Jeongguk assaults his nose.
It takes a moment of careful maneuvering for Jeongguk to finally settle and get comfortable, and the entire time Jimin feigns sleep while debating on if he should give up the ruse or not.
"I know you're awake, Jimin-ssi."
Exhaling in a whoosh at Jeongguk's whispered voice, Jimin rolls over and tucks his hands beneath his cheek. They both are facing each other, a gap between their bodies, but their eyes don't waver from each other.
"What are you doing in here, Bugs Bunny?"
Jeongguk offers a wry smile. "Some people call it sleeping. What would you call it?"
"Invading personal space."
"Tomato, ta-mah-too."
Rolling his eyes, Jimin licks his lips and sighs. "Considering we haven't slept in almost twenty-four hours, please pardon my lack of enthusiasm over your sarcasm, Carrots."
"Play Twenty-Questions with me."
Jimin scowls. "No."
"Hyung." Jeongguk's voice is desperate and his dark brown eyes wide. "Please."
Hissing through his teeth, Jimin glares at him. "Oh, so now you want to talk, huh? You think you can just barge into my bedroom and think that I... you told me to not ruin shit. The same goes for you. Isn't this what you wanted? This wall? This- this false sense that everything is fucking fine and my heart isn't breaking just looking at you?"
"Jimin hyung." Jeongguk reaches out his hand, a rabbit attempting to quell a wolf's hunger, but then thinks better of it. It drops between them. "You're right. And I want to make this right, so... play this game with me."
And Jimin is so, so weak. Like a tree in a storm, he bends. He gives in because the idea of being able to taste divinity and spill stardust along his lips is a yearning that he can never soothe.
"I'll play, but I'm going first."
Jeongguk nods once. "Okay."
"Why are you really in this room?"
Hesitating, Jeonguk lowers his eyes to his hand that remains untouched between them. "Because they don't make whiskey strong enough to wash the taste of you away."
Jimin presses his lips together, uncertain of what to say or why the answer leaves him hot and bereft. A sick satisfaction that Jeongguk craves him the same crazy way that he does bubbles in the cavern of his chest.
After a moment of weighted silence, Jeongguk whispers, "Did you mean what you said? In the rain."
"No. Just the opposite, I'm afraid. You're so easy to love that I'm not too sure I stood a chance."
Jimin doesn't want to answer. To bear his ghastly soul in fear that Jeongguk will trample it again.
"I meant every word of it." A heartbeat, then, "What did you mean that you can't stop yourself anymore?"
"I don't want to be like this, but I can't- I can't. I can't stop myself anymore."
"Because I... I like the way it makes me feel."
Confused, Jimin frowns. "What?"
"Being Velveteen Rabbit," he whispers so low that Jimin has to strain his ears in the dark of the bedroom to hear it. "I forged myself of broken shrapnel and bloody knuckles to become something that people feared in the night. This untouchable relic of power and I like the way it felt. The way people looked at me with fear and awe. The fear behind their eyes when I..."
The fear is behind their eyes when I kill them.
Swallowing roughly, Jeongguk shakes his head. "When I'm plastic, it doesn't hurt. I ride my high of being in control, of being powerful, and I love it. But now I'm scared. Scared that I can't stop myself anymore now that my plastic is turning to flesh."
Like Hoseok is addicted to sex and Taehyung craves knowledge that people damn themselves for, Jeongguk is addicted to the mask he wears at night. To a person that other people fear.
And like all addicts, he isn't certain he can stop even when his circumstances change.
"Tell me a secret, hyung."
Jimin smiles and reaches to trace Jeongguk's lips with the pad of his finger. "What kind of secret?"
"The one you hold the closest to your heart."
Hesitating, Jimin's fingers stall on the curve of Jeongguk's jaw. "Do you truly want to know this secret?"
Closing his eyes, he nods and leans into his touch. "I want to hear you say it."
Slowly, so slowly, Jimin moves so that he is straddling Jeongguk's waist. The younger man watches with hooded eyes, tracking every minuscule movement and the rippling sinew of his muscles.
The heat of Jeongguk's body is delicious, his body burning with an ache that the touch of his searing hands chases away when they settle on the top of his thighs. He stares up at Jimin with his eyes lidded and cautious reverence.
The way a mortal stares at an angel.
Resting his hands against Jeongguk's chest, Jimin exhales at the feeling of Jeongguk's heart thudding against his palm. "I fell in love with all of you."
Hissing through his teeth, Jeongguk gasps.
Leaning down, Jimin breathes hot air over the tender skin of Jeongguk's collarbone, fond at the way Jeongguk trembles and shudders beneath him. The way his nails dig into his thighs.
"Not just the way your eyes can light up the room, or that sharp tongue of yours can joust with all of me. Not just the way your laugh is full and loud, like your overflowing personality."
"Hyung..." Jeongguk groans, hands fluttering up Jimin's thighs to dip beneath his loose t-shirt and brush over the supple skin of his waist. "Hyung, please."
Smiling, Jimin replaces hot air with his lips and teeth. He gently nips at the skin of his neck, delighting in the way Jeongguk leans back his head to expose his jugular. The way his adam's apple bobs like a man begging for water.
"I fell in love with your scars." Jimin presses a small kiss to the scar on Jeongguk's cheek. "I fell in love with memories inked into your skin." He shifts to kiss the butterfly on his hip bone. "The way you play this stupid, silly game."
Groaning, Jeongguk's breathing is quick. His hands cradle Jimin's waist tight enough that he's certain bruises in the shape of his fingers are going to be left behind.
"I fell in love with your kindness towards souls who are bound for the next world," Jimin continues, running his tongue over his pectoral that keeps Jeongguk's wild heart caged. "I fell in love with this scared little boy who tears himself apart to give life to others and who flipped my world upside down."
"Hyung- Jimin."
"I fell in love with you just being Jeongguk. And you let me just be Jimin."
Leaning up, Jimin stares down at Jeongguk with so much love that it steals the very air from Jeongguk's lungs. "Silly, stupid rabbit. How can you not see that I am blind for you? You break the rules. You're charming, beautiful, and kind and I'm the fool who wants you so badly."
Jeongguk abruptly sits up, arms sliding around Jimin's waist and tugging him so that he is flush against him when he crashes his lips against his own. His kiss is a clashing of teeth, of mouths clumsily bumping into one another, and hands tangling in his hair.
"Jimin," Jeongguk breathes when he pulls apart, lathering his shoulder with hot, wet kisses. "Tell me another secret."
"You have me." Jimin tilts back his head, gasping when Jeongguk runs his nose along his sensitive skin. His hands leave a burning ache in his groin. "Until my last breath. Until the last star in the galaxy dies out. You have me."
Tilting Jeongguk's head, Jimin steals another kiss. And it's easy. Familiar and daring and all the things that he wants. "Tell me a secret, Jeongguk-ah."
Gasping, Jeongguk chases Jimin's lips and cradles his head as if frightened that he'll fly away and leave him there with his broken wings unable to take to the sky. "I'm scared, Jimin-ah."
"Scared?"
"That if I pull apart my chest and reveal the thing beating in my chest, then I'll lose you." Jeongguk takes Jimin's hand to press it against his chest. The thundering of his heart is loud. "If I tell you the truth, then I'll become flesh and bone. You'll have the power to hurt me."
Jimin's brow knits together. "Is that so bad?"
"It could be," Jeongguk whispers gravely, eyes wide. "I won't come back from you, Jimin. I won't. If Hitman... if you're hurt... if you're ripped away from me like my mother... there is no coming back. I don't think there would be anything left of me."
Gently, Jimin cups Jeongguk's cheek in his palm. He soaks in the way the younger man leans into his touch, a starving creature begging for scraps. "No matter what happens, I'm here. I won't ever leave you, even if my body is not next to you."
Jeongguk's gaze burns him. "Promise?"
Jimin smiles sweetly. "Promise. You have me."
Suddenly, Jeongguk is rolling them over. Jimin squeals in surprise when he is abruptly underneath him, heart in his throat, and moaning at the weight of Jeongguk on top of him. "You're mine?"
"Yours."
Pushing his knee between Jimin's legs, Jeongguk rolls his hips down so that Jimin can feel his want pressing against his inner thighs. A heavy promise darkening his eyes that rumble with hunger that threatens to eat him alive.
"Then," Jeongguk whispers hotly, "can I be yours too?"
Chuckling, Jimin nods. "Yeah."
"Good."
Jeongguk takes hold of the collar of Jimin's shirt and tears it straight down the middle. The strength of the action sends another throb of need straight to his aching groin when the cool air brushes over his nipples, hardening them.
"Fuck, baby..." Jimin mewls and rolls his hips. "I want you."
"Patience." Jeongguk stares down at Jimin's bare chest, fingers fluttering over the tattoo that is inked across his ribs. "You're the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, Jimin."
"Jeongguk, please..."
Pulling off his shirt, Jeongguk tosses it aside and then maneuvers out of his pants. Jimin squirms beneath him, desperately trying to tug off his own pants. "I'm not going to fuck you."
Jimin scowls. "What? You asshole."
"No, baby." Jeongguk pulls off Jimin's pants with one swift jerk. It joins the rest of his clothes on the floor. "I'm going to make love to you."
Jimin stalls and then his face blooms hot. He smacks Jeongguk's arm. "That was fucking cheesy."
"But you're mine," Jeongguk replies hotly, his smile tinged with a smirk. "And I'm yours."
Rolling his eyes, Jimin raises his hips. "Just take off my boxers and touch me like you mean it."
"So damn demanding."
Obediently, Jeongguk slowly removes Jimin's boxers and throws them aside so that the older man lays naked within the bed. His eyes drink him in, mouth parted and raw desire hot.
"Can my love make you real, Jeongguk-ah?" Jimin asks quietly, pushing himself to sit up on his forearms and reaching out to brush his fingers over his tattoos. "If I love you enough, with everything I have, can I make you real?"
Jeongguk hesitates. "Yeah."
"Then just for tonight, let's be real."
Nodding, Jeongguk pushes Jimin's legs apart and delights in the forceful shiver when the cool air brushes against his hard cock that rests against his stomach. He tugs Jimin closer, allowing him to wrap his legs around his waist and roll his hips upwards to provide friction for his weeping cock.
"I love you, Jeongguk."
Keening, Jeongguk reaches for the nightstand and pulls out a tube of lube. He works quickly to take off the cap and lather some on his fingers. He tosses it aside and lowers his hand so that his fingers brush against the fluttering entrance of Jimin's most private part.
"So perfect," Jeongguk murmurs, pushing his first finger in so that his wet heat accepts him as if coming home.
Throwing back his head, Jimin moans loudly. His nails dig into the mattress beneath him and he grinds back against his hand. "Oh, God. Missed you. Missed your touch."
The wet heat of Jimin drives Jeongguk crazy; the way he clenches around him hungrily, silently pleading for more, and his heavy cock aches with the desire to complete that silent request.
Jimin's legs tremble around Jeongguk's waist, squeezing tight to ensure that he can't move away, and it leaves him breathless.
Slowly, agonizingly, Jeongguk adds a second finger to slowly scissor open his entrance that leaves Jimin panting and moaning for more.
This isn't the fiery caress that Jeongguk used to seduce Jimin in the club. It's something else entirely. It goes beyond the depth of his flesh and down to his heart. To his soul.
The look of pleasure adorning Jeongguk's face is sublime. He hasn't even touched himself and yet the look on his face is borderline euphoria. His eyes are half-closed, and he appeared to savor the way Jimin's body reacts to his fingers carefully stretching him open.
Wanting to please him, Jimin reaches between their bodies to run his fingers along Jeongguk's weeping tip. The man sucks in a sharp breath, a gravel groan tearing through his throat. "Jimin."
The look of pleasure on Jeongguk's face delights Jimin when he cups him. His heart pounds when he runs his hand up and down his swollen shaft, gently massaging it until Jeongguk's muscles quake from the effort of keeping himself restrained.
Jeongguk adds a third finger and Jimin cries out, hips arching, and hand stuttering from where he cups Jeongguk's length. "You feel so fucking good, baby. Your hand is magic."
Giddy and giggling, Jimin wiggles his hips and moans when he can feel the tip of Jeongguk's finger brush against his prostate. "Please. I want you. All of you. Please."
Removing his fingers, Jeongguk pulls Jimin so that his entrance is flush with the tip of his cock. He slowly pushes himself in. Inch by painful inch until Jimin is practically screaming out his pleasure, head thrown back and body quaking.
Jeongguk drives himself so deep into Jimin that he feels the stroke of him all the way down to his toes.
Closing his eyes, Jimin savors the rippling muscles of Jeongguk's bare skin against his. He can feel every flutter of rich sinew and calloused hands raking over his bared flesh when he snaps his hips to press himself further into him.
Never had Jimin thought he could feel anything like this. He can only breathe and moan when Jeongguk's breathtaking love flows into him with every open-mouth kiss to his sweat-damp skin and nipping teeth to his hard nipple.
Reveling in the powerful feel of him, of his tamed wild hare, Jimin runs his hands down Jeongguk's back, over the grooves of his shoulder blades where his broken wings are splayed, and down to his hips where he silently urges him on.
Jeongguk bites his lower lip at the feeling of Jimin's nails trickling down his back. How could such little hands have such power to break him? The way his very being unravels at the slight brush of his soft hands.
"Look at me, Jimin-ah," Jeongguk grunts, sweat dripping down his brow. He snaps his hips again with a groan. "I want to see your eyes."
Jimin stares up at him with those captivating crescent eyes that are half-closed as he savors every rocking motion of Jeongguk against him. Drinking Jeongguk in without an ounce of fear.
Lifting his hips, Jimin matches Jeongguk's frenzied pace stroke for stroke. Never had he imagined anything quite so pleasurable as he feels when Jeongguk slides in and out of him, head dipping down to kiss him deeply.
Just when Jimin could stand no more, his body bursts into a thousand convulsions of pleasure. "Ah, Jeongguk-ah!"
Jeongguk drives himself to his hilt and freezes when both of their bodies quiver together, releasing himself deep into Jimin and stars blooming behind his eyes.
Sagging against Jimin, sweat-lathered chests pressed together, and hot breath mingling, Jeongguk meets Jimin's starry gaze. His smile is droopy and sated, hands resting lightly on the curve of Jeongguk's waist.
"If this is a dream, then don't wake me. I wanna stay in this dream."
Jeongguk's laugh echoes around him when he carefully slips himself out of Jimin, earning a hiss through his teeth. He doesn't move his body off Jimin at all. He remains tucked between his legs, cradled in his arms.
"It's no dream," Jeongguk whispers, pressing a light kiss against Jimin's shoulder. "I think it's my turn to ask a question now."
Laughing, Jimin smiles languidly up at him. "Oh, is it now?"
"It is," Jeongguk says sagely, his smile wicked. "Do you want to go again?"
"You really are a rabbit, oh my god." Jimin leans forward and kisses him. "What do you think?"
"I think your dick is saying yes."
"Shut up and rock my world again, you trashbag bunny boy."