Chapter Text
He laid there after begging to be let out in his every waking moment. Begging and begging. Before blood pooled down his hands from bashing to door and giving up and curling up into a small ball and shutting down. He was starving and it was cold. He couldn't tell up from down and he wanted to be touched. The only thing grounding him was the floor, but as he laid there, the more it seemed to dull. Kitten was desperate, and he was angry. Master promised to take care of him! But master seemed to be breaking more promises then anyone else he knew! He breathed out harshly. The urge to strangle the man was odd. Kitten only remembers feeling love and happiness when thinking of master. This is the first time he's felt angry. Maybe the closet was messing with his head.
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Kitten's body hurt more and some parts having gone full circle and only a tingling sensation was left. Like it was shutting down and rejecting itself part by part. He hated the way he felt. When kitten reached out his own hands and touched his arms the sensation was dulled. Like he wasn't touching his own body. He'd cry and the tears would go down his cheeks but not an inkling of wetness lingered. The only evidence was the stiffness of his face and the saltiness that resided on his lips. Laying there fading away.
H̷̛͈̰͙̭̣̝͆̑͒̒̉̾̈́͋̔̌̄͗̓̓̇͛͒̈́̀͊̆̌̀̽̓̍̊̈́͋̉̋̎͘͘͠ e̴̡̢̢̦̤̥̝̤͍̲͍͖̫͓͇̱͙̗̖͚̺͈͇̦̮̪̘̦̩̙̘̳̝͕͙̻̪͉̺̿͋͜͠ l̵̢̢͎̥̟̙̝̩̱͙̙̩͉̹̪̜̱̺̳̗̘͍̣̹̭͔͙͔͔͖̤̤̮̮̹̾͗͆̈̂̈́̑̓̔̔̂͊͛͌̽̌̽͊̃͂͊̈́̉̀̾̍̎͆͘̕͘̕͜͜͠͝͠ͅͅͅ p̷̢̧̟̻̝̤͍̼̟̘̬̙̲͔̝͈̘̯͔͔̤͓͍̟͙̖̳̥̭͍͇̺̘̤̤̰̿́̊̈́̑̈̈́̀̇̇̉̿̃͒́̔̾̾͋̈́̔̅͒͆͌̂͝͝ ̷̡̢̧̧̛̛̥̦͈̖̫̫̜̱̠̗̱̗̹͔̺̟̝̜͍̰͔̹̜͉̦̘͖̭̬͔̺̟̞̯̳̯͔̹͜ͅͅm̵͇͙̬͍̻̟̝̘̳̜̳̗̣͕̠̥̠̣̰̾̓̊͐̓͂̈̎͋̊̋͆̅̋̊͐͊͋̈̓̅́͑͋̈́̕͘͘ͅ ẻ̷͔͂̊͗̄̑͗̂̌͌͐̄̈̊̀̉̎̎̈́͌̊̃̾͂͆̎̇͠͝͠
He felt like he was floating away. Up and up. Far far f̷̧̞̞͇͈̝̲͚͉̘̱̗̩̠̪̟̞͓͖̲͋̀̄́́̀͒͊̀̆̐̽̒̕̚͘͝͠a̷̧̛͇̥͙̱̺͕̥̥̝̻̟̝̳̟͉̭͜ͅͅr̷̡̟̻̪̲̘̪̱̚ away. Who he wanted in the end was master. He wanted it to end. He didn't want to be like this anymore. The more he remembered and the more he forgets the more he feels wrong. It hurt! Someone took a knife to him and hollowed out his chest and leaving the cavity filled with carnivorous butterflies. They ate away at his dying insides fluttering about tickling him in such a way that it chipped off even more of himself. He wanted
T̶̨̡̡̢̨̛̺̥̩͇̘̳̮̼̱͈̤̪͓̹͑͗̐̽͑̈́̑͛̄̐̆̎̊̓̅͑͗̿̽͌̇̀̒̽̈͂̄̔͋̽͊̿͑͆͐͐̈́̆̇͛̊̐̉̀̌̏͌͛̇̈́̌̒̓͒̓̐̕̕̚͝͝͠͝ͅͅǫ̸̨̛̛̩̮̫͍͚̭̳̗͖̰̦̘̲͖͔͙̮̯̯͎̻̤͖̝͇̗̥̠̗̙̳̺̖͇͍̣̞͕̤̭͔͖͇̯͙̌̈́̋͊̃̒̾͗̍͗̓̉̈́̊͆̎̽͑̆͗̈̉̑̈́̈́̒͛̎͗̈̈́̊̃̽̿̌͗̓̓͂̉͒͊̆̈͛̾͆̊͊͛̈̈͊̆͗̓̈́̈͆̊͐̋͗̎̆̆͋͆̅͑̔̋̑̂̅͋̍͒͛͑̓̀͑͑̋̋̑̄̈́̈̋̌̏̃͗̋̌͗̑̔̔̅̈̄̅̐͛̆̓̓̀̚͘̚̚͘͘̚͘̕̚͘̕͘͘̚͜͜͠͠͝͝͝͝͠͝ͅ ̷̨̨̧͉̼͓̰̺͔̞̘̝̼͓͖̻͈̠̭̻̻̹̫̤̙̣͖̲̝̰̣̰͇̖̣̱̪̦͕̲̣͉̍̉̆̅̑͑̈̃̅̈́̈́̒̏͋̍̈́̿̌̆̽̊͊̓̇̉̅̃̽̄̓͆̋̓̆̆̍̏̄̀̈́͋͆͋̂͌̀͗̌̀̚͘͘͝͝͝͝ͅͅḑ̵̧̢̧̨̧̡̡̧̡̨̢̢͕͉͕̫̥̲̞̟̣̲͔̺͙͍̦̺̘̲͔̖̭̺͉̯̟̳̹̜̤͚̰̜͔̙̮͖̖̙͍̗̤͎̮̠̖̣̠̙͙̫̗̭̳̼̲̩͙̻̳̗̳̭̤̭̞͇͈̥̻̜͔̰̬̳͔̱͙͍̖̱̥̬̝̣̫̯̰̗̦͙͉͓̖̜̩̼̙͈͖̱͓̫͈̤̊̓̔͌̎͋͒͆̐̃̀̈́͂͗̉͜͜͜ͅͅͅͅͅį̵̡̢̡̧̨̧̢̨̡̨̧̧̛̠͔̭͕̤̺̼̹̟̲͓̤̯͎͔͔͕̘̱̥͇̭̯̜̻̯̼͕̩͙̰͈̥̯̟͔̲̲̺̤̬̠̥͕͎̖͇͍̘̳̩̳͓̼̰͔̬͈̦̝̘̖̲̝̖̖̜̱͉͉͎̱̰̙͈̻̝̪̻̘͎̬̳̦̰͖͚̩̤̬̫͖̤̱̗̟̬͍̐͒̀͒̐̍̒̆̅̐̿̅̄̌͗̈͆̆͆̈́̏̾͑̾̈́̿͌̈́̉͊̆̓͂̍̊͋͂̀̓̂̐̿͊͛̈́̽́͐̈́̊̎̆̆͆̑̈́̆̇̏̔̀͂̈́͐͒̿͊́̉̾̍̂̓̑̉̐̋̍̃̍̔́̈̾͂̇̋͑͂̃̀̄̐͂̓̕̚̚̕̚̚̚̕͜͝͠͝͠͠͝ͅͅͅę̵̢̡̡̡̢̡̨̢̨̨̨̧̢̢̨͎͙͖̦̺͓̹̻̟̜̱̯̘̝̙͎̭͎̻̭̱̬͇͚̦̦̞͚̯͍̲̼̪̳̩̮̱̖̪̥͚̹̞̼̞̝͉̰̣̭̜̭̳̯̠͍̭͉̗̘͙͙̰͕̰̟͕̹̣͕̙̭͔̤̲̪͚̥͉̰̪͔̗̞̮̪̮͔̮̜̭̙͇̙̙̪̖̫͕̟̬̲̥̮͖̘͕̯̹̮͓̣̻̼̩̯̰̳̰̦̼̹̞͋̓̐̒̒͆̈͗̿̀̈̇͑̅̂̅̄̾̌̎̃̈͐̾̀͋̒̾̊̓̽̈́̿̚̚̚̕̚͘͜͠͝͠͝͝͝ͅͅͅͅ
He clawed at his chest and throat no stinging pain rushed in as though he was just a piece of seaweed floating away in the deepest parts of the ocean. There was only darkness. Consuming everything he was. He doesn't even know if his memories were just dreams. Beautiful dreams that existed because Kitten was nothing but a stupid peice of seaweed. Maybe his old friends weren't real. Maybe none of this was real and that all his life was just this empty darkness infinitely existing more real then he was. Floating and unmoving. The outside of this pitch black ocean wasn't real. Master wasn't real. The red one wasn't real. None of this was real and he was just dreaming. If he even existed these dreams weren't real. Nothing about him was real.
Lance wasn't real.
Kitten wasn't real.
Nothing that happened was real, and even if mast- Lotor pulled him out of this empty place nothing would actually leave. There was nothing here. Just his subconscious trying to escape the nothingness. But there was nothing but lies and twisted truth that existed outside of this place. The happiness and love he felt were lies the only truth in his fantasies were that hisimaginings didn't love him. Somewhere along the line his brain ruined them. He ruined everything no matter what he wanted even if they were just dreams, and like dreams they would be forgotten as he awoke and went back to sleep slipping into a different new wishful thought before it was utterly ruined again. This darkness was reality.
Ţ̸̛̘̝̠̰͈̯̻͓͉͇̈͛͊̿̿̌̈̍̀́͗̈́̅̐̍̊̒̕͝ḣ̷̨͕͎͕̯̯̝͚̖͉̑̈́̽̌͋̊͐̏͛̆͒̔͊̅͐̍͌̇̈̈́̈́͝͠ė̴̻̝̲̦̖͎̋́̕ͅȑ̶̠͙̙̓̔̽̅͐͂͐̽͋͆̆̈̓͋̇͗̍̚͘͝e̷͉̪̗̱̹̘͕̥͈͠ '̴̛͚̠͈̟̙̻͔̝͇̭̻͈̱͙̻̋̒͜s̸̢̧̨̧̨͓̮̣͙̤̫̞̬͉̙̙͉̜͌͗̍͝͝ ̴̧̡̛̹̙͚͚̬̘͙͖̤̬̱̱͖̺̬̫̰̺̹̳̿͆̔̃̇̄͛̉̍̿͘̚͜͠N̵̡̧̛̰̙̙̠̳͈̗͙̦͍̼̗̲̙̺̬͕͓̱̳̰̪̼̦̼͆̃͌̆̏͐͂̏̆̉̄́̑͝͝͝ọ̵̜̣͕̖̬̠͔̩̱̝̟̮̩̦͐͑̆t̵̨͙̜̬̣͇͇͑͋͜͜ͅh̴̨̢̢̼̠̻͉̠͖̪̟͍͔̘̜̦̊̍̆̀̆̒̽̏̽̾̉͂͗̈͘͘̕͠͝i̷̢̢̨̨̱̖̣͔̬̖̟͉͙̰̬̺̜̞͈̠̳̩̞̼̙̦̓́́̄͊n̵̨̡͍̭̳̬̫̫̦̞̞̭͙̘̙̰̰̮͎̳̈́͊̋̍͛͗̒̑͂͊̊͋̇̿͒̔̄̿͂̿̎͘͜͝͝g̶̢̹̉̂̒̑̾̔̽̓̔͌͘…
Nothing then. Nothing now. To leave would be a long windy imaginary road that lead him back to where he started. Over and over a never ending cycle of rot. The sweet smell of decay lying about being anything other then dead.
And then he guessed he fell asleep again when the emptiness was opened.
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He sunk back into feeling. Touches along his body. Multiple faces he couldn't recognize that fluttered around him. The feeling of pleasure relieving him of the nothing that's been his life. Fleeting satisfaction that would leave him when he woke up but he'll enjoy it, the few passing moments he has now.
They shoved inside him and was almost too fluttery to remember that he had a voice he could voice his pleasure with and that if he didn't he would wake up again sooner then he wanted. So he whined and moaned with each pleasurable touch and stretch. Screamed when relief finally FINALLY filled him as they sucked on his nipples, crying out and begging for more. A purple blur as master took over his focus biting his ear roughly telling him what a good boy he was when he let the servants clean him so easily and how happy he made him when he made all the noises he was supposed to and how he took his punishment to heart. Before master bit into his neck a flash of pain mixing with the pleasure and then quickly falling back into the pleasurable haze as the endorphins ran rampant and the darkness lessened. Going through the motions as he was filled and the feeling of hunger slowly going away as he was filled over and over again. His still rounded tummy being rubbed and petted as they tried to make it bigger. Talking dirty about how they wished that his tummy was full of their kit. Filling him full of food before moving on again. Again and again. Softly rocked in his haze. His sensations of moving dulled like it wasn't actually happening and that all this feeling was just what he wanted to feel.