Chapter Text
When they pulled up to Allison’s place, her mom was out front on a folding chair. She gave Andy the same embittered look she always did, like he’d just spat at her feet. Allison was surprised to see him, but grabbed a handful of markers and went with him anyway. The five of them were a little snug in the convertible, but it was nice to be so close to Allison and Brian in the back seat. Bender sat in the passenger side and held Claire’s hand. After a little while, he snaked his free hand back between the seat and the door so he could hold Brian’s hand too. If Allison noticed, she only responded by taking Andy’s hand in hers as well.
Brian looked over at him and kind of chuckled awkwardly, like they should complete the circuit or something. Andy smiled back but kept his other hand in his lap. They picked up a pizza—half meat lover’s half banana peppers and green onion— and then Claire had driven them well and truly out of town, to a lookout point Andy had never been to. He assumed this is where she and Bender came for privacy.
By the time they got there, Allison had asked Claire about her favorite place to get sushi and Bender had flown into a blind rage. “—I am just saying,” he slammed his door shut. “Meat needs to be cooked.”
“Fish isn’t meat,” Andy said as he climbed out of the car. Allison held his door open for him like a gentleman.
Bender looked at Andrew, nostrils flaring. “Andrew Stephen Clark that is the most Catholic thing you have ever said to me, and I will thank you not to say it again.”
“There are vegetarians who eat fish,” Allison pointed out.
“Because they’re posers. Next.” Bender folded his arms.
“I can take you to a sushi place, Allison.” Claire sounded absolutely exhausted and they hadn’t even made it to the picnic table yet.
There was one not too far from the car. Brian set the pizza down and flipped the lid open, still standing, as they all gathered around.
“So,” Brian sighed, playing with the pizza box lid.
“You don’t have to say anything, kiddo.” Bender said, grabbing himself a slice of meat lovers. “Not their business.” Andy looked at him incredulously. Claire made a big show of rolling her eyes.
“It’s only Allison who doesn’t,” Brian scoffed.
“Know what?” Allison asked.
“I’m gay,” Brian shrugged. Allison nodded and looked like she was waiting for him to continue. “That’s… that’s it. I’m gay.” He shrugged again, kind of looking like he wanted to crawl into his sweater and hide.
“Oh!” Allison smiled. “Yeah, that makes sense.”
“It does?” Brian furrowed his brow.
“I mean, kind of. The way you look at Bender sometimes.” She wrinkled her nose mischievously.
“Well, Bender is pretty cute.” Brian said, his cheeks going a little pink.
“Don't flatter yourself.” Bender flicked his hair over his shoulder.
“We were literally making out like an hour ago, man.” Brian balked.
“You were?" Allison turned to Claire. "They were?"
"They were," Claire smiled. "We talked about it. John and I have an arrangement."
“Yes, I get to make out with the nerd and Claire gets to kiss whatever girls she wants.” Bender explained.
“Oh yeah?” Allison smiled, almost mischievous.
“Might want.” Claire shrugged.
“Kissing girls is great,” Andy said. “You should absolutely do it, if you want.” Claire only laughed and blushed, turning away from them a little.
“Hey, listen,” Allison picked a slice of pizza, letting the cheese stretch out absurdly. “I have a thing to say too.”
“Clark your girlfriend’s a lesbian.” Bender quipped. Andy thought about maybe pointing out how they were just talking about Claire kissing girls.
“Actually she’s transgender,” Allison said quickly and lifted her pizza above her head practically poured the slice into her mouth.
“You gonna rename yourself?” Bender asked casually. “Think you’d make a great Christopher.” Andy snorted. “What?” He glared at him.
“I already named myself Allison,” she said around a mouthful of pizza. “I liked how it sounds.” Bender made an exaggerated ohhhhh sound.
“It does sound good,” Claire said. “It’s pretty.”
“More people should name themselves.” Brian shrugged. “Like in general, I think it’d be good for people’s, like, mental health if they got to pick what they were called.”
Bender raised his hand high. “Can we talk about this breakdown that Clark had?”
“What about it?” Allison tilted her head to the side.
“Was it funny?”
“Nah, it was probably the least funny thing he's ever done.” She shook her head.
“That is... saying a lot.” Bender nodded.
“Are you okay?” Claire reached over and touched Andy’s hand.
“Yeah, I got over it.” Andy shrugged and started talking really fast. “I mean I still feel the same—it was just me sobbing about how much I love all of you. I mean, I don’t think I'm in love with all of you, but I definitely care about you all more than I do about anyone else in my life. I'm talking too much.” He ran a hand through his hair.
"No you're not." Claire squeezed his hand. "You can always tell us how you're feeling."
“If you don’t talk about it, the bad things will fester and rot inside you." Allison put her hand over Claire's. "And it'll start to feel like the good things never really happen." That's how your heart dies. She didn't say it but the four of them understood it just the same.
"And besides," Brian added his hand to the pile. "You always listen to our crap. Why wouldn't we listen to yours?"
Bender put his hand on top of Brian's but didn't say anything. He looked at Andy with this kind of weird intensity. Bender was an intense person to begin with, but this... was something else. Like he was weighing the odds.
“You okay, Bender?” Andy asked. He hummed in response.
“John?” Claire asked, though she was smiling like she recognized the look on his face. Then, Bender was moving forward slowly, putting his knee up on the picnic bench so he could reach across the table.
“Allison,” he said measuredly. “I’m going to kiss your boyfriend now.”
Andy heard Allison’s quiet okay but he didn’t really process it. He was too busy trying to make sense of the image of John Bender leaning toward him, and then the sensation of his lips on his.
Bender’s breath smelled like smoke and his lips were chapped. Andy felt himself leaning into the kiss, his hand reaching up to run his fingers through Bender’s hair. It was then that Bender decided to pull away, leaving Andy blinking at him like an idiot. Andy’s first instinct after regaining the ability to think was to look at Allison, who was pinch her lips together like she was trying not to laugh.
“Hey.” Bender grasped Andy’s chin gently and directed Andy’s gaze back at him. Then Bender held eye contact with him while he leaned over and kissed Claire, and what the fuck was Andy supposed to do with that? Claire apparently thought this was hilarious, as she laughed into Bender’s mouth even as a blush spread over her face.
Bender moved his hand to cradle Andy’s cheek like he was thinking about switching back over to him, and it was embarrassing how excited Andy was for that prospect—especially given the fact that Bender was definitely just fucking with him right now. Instead, Allison put a hand on the other side of his face kissed him feverishly. It wasn’t as if she’d gotten jealous watching him and Bender; she was just excited for her turn. Andy kissed her back, feeling a little like he was floating.
He felt dreamy and light. This wasn’t happening. It shouldn’t have been, anyway. He kissed Bender again, felt the other boy’s tongue slide into his mouth. He moaned into Bender’s mouth, reaching up to tangle his hand in his hair.
“Y’ alright, Clark?” Bender asked against his lips. He pulled away and Andy blinked at him dreamily.
He smiled. “Yeah, I’m,” he was cut off by Allison kissing him again, tilting his head toward her. He heard Claire laugh, and then Brian. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Bender tugging on Brian’s lip with his teeth, his hand cupping Claire’s face.
“This isn’t happening,” Andy murmured against Allison’s mouth. He felt her smile.
“Enjoy it,” she said. “While it lasts.”
Andy pulled away from her slowly, trying to study her face, understand how she was feeling. There was a sadness in her eyes, but also something else. He’d seen it before, when she was life drawing—this intense concentration, like she was devoting everything she could to remembering this. Claire kissed her cheek. Allison turned to her and smiled. She tilted her head to one side, waiting for Claire to come to her.
And Claire did, after a long moment of contemplation. Bender leaned forward and kissed the back of her ear. Brian couldn’t hear what he was whispering to Claire as she kissed Allison chastely, but it made her smile. Brian leaned against Bender’s side, tangling their fingers together. Andy watched the four of them for a while. Watched as Claire and Allison pulled apart, Claire looking sheepish and shy. Watched Bender kiss her shoulder, murmuring against her shoulder. Watched Allison lean across the table and kiss Bender’s cheek. He bumped their foreheads together gently, the two of them laughing. They kissed and Andy felt something tug in his chest. He felt like he might start crying again, sobbing. He felt warm and light and like nothing was ever going to be wrong again.