toto, I don't think we're in canon anymore
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Listing Series
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seedling by PenAndInkPrincess
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, The Witcher (TV)
31 Mar 2022
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Summary
"His enemy approached under the disguise of friendship, beautiful enough to distract him easily, to draw him in with loveliness, with delicate allure. This treacherous, duplicitous enemy came with promises of loyalty, of faithfulness, of remaining with him for years to come, a treasure to light his darkest days, a bosom companion to bring light and color no matter the greyscale of his life.
The orchid, however, is a lying bitch."
(Jaskier is terrible at plants) (His neighbor, white-haired and muscular and absolutely stunning, happens to be great at plants) (You'll never BELIEVE what happens next)
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jump care by PenAndInkPrincess
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, The Witcher (TV)
02 Jul 2022
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Summary
In Jaskier’s defense, he would argue that he had very good reasons for not realizing he was haunted. Between gigs and side jobs, his days are far from standard working hours, the house is old so who would be alarmed by a few odd noises now and then, and after a lifetime of ADHD, who is he to say that he didn’t leave every single cabinet door open and rearrange his mugs in the cupboard without realizing it?
“The fucking writing in the mirror wasn’t a clue?” Priscilla asks with a dubious eyebrow raised.
(Jaskier has a poltergeist) (This is a problem until it gets his rent reduced) (Then the only problem is stopping the witcher his landlord hired from wrecking the good thing he's got going on)
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spider control and other forms of courtship by PenAndInkPrincess
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, The Witcher (TV)
14 Jul 2022
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Summary
Geralt tries to read the man’s face before he looks around for a hidden camera. His youngest brother is supposed to be away this weekend with his boyfriend, but this entire situation reeks of Lambert’s exact sense of humor. Geralt is suddenly quite sure there’s a whipped cream pie to the face waiting at the end of wherever his neighbor is leading him with this conversation.
“You can’t just hit it with a shoe?”
That makes the man inhale sharply and press a hand to his chest, like a church matron clutching her pearls. “The spider is an animal, but I most certainly am not! I am not trying to banish the little beast from the mortal coil. I am simply trying to evict him from the previously-spiderless sanctuary of my home.”
(Jaskier tries to recruit his neighbor Geralt to handle a spider problem) (Ciri ends up taking the lead on the assignment) (this still ends up with more Geraskier than might be expected)
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shifts by PenAndInkPrincess
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, The Witcher (TV)
25 Aug 2022
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Summary
Of the all of the things Geralt expected to find when he got home, a deeply asleep seal on his couch was not one of them.
He bends to set his workbag on the ground, not taking his eyes off of the animal as he does so. After a twelve-hour shift handling the chaos that happens every autumn as creatures migrate and prepare to hibernate for the winter, he has half a mind to simply turn around and walk away. Eskel has a comfortable couch; Geralt could simply sleep at his place and leave the seal to his own devices. It’s been a long day, does it really need to be longer?
Roach murrow-ing at him with great offense from her place at the top of the stairs tells him that yes, it does. His cat is clearly not going to deal with their intruder.
(Geralt arrives home one day to find that a selkie has broken into his house) (as you do)
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fire alarms, remedial home ec, and other forms of affection by PenAndInkPrincess
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, The Witcher (TV)
29 Sep 2022
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Summary
Jaskier first finds out the name of Sexy Neighbor With Cat at 3 am when Sexy Neighbor With Cat, along with the rest of the tenants of their building, is standing outside in the freezing cold, the smoke alarms blaring a siren into the night getting them all up and out. Jaskier slips past Mrs. Kowalski-three-doors-down and makes his way to the back of the crowd, attempting to avoid stepping on any slipper-clad toes as the crowd mills about muttering angrily. Through sheer chance, he ends up next to Sexy, who is rapidly becoming more sexy as Jaskier watches him hold his cat and talk to her softly while the creature yowls piteously and squirms, clearly displeased at the disruption to her evening.
It’s really a credit to the god who designed Sexy that he manages to still look stunningly gorgeous clad only in mismatched shoes and a pair of cartoon horse boxers.
(Jaskier is a cooking menace who regularly sets off the fire alarm system of his apartment complex) (luckily his new neighbor helps him out)
Series