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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    His arms ache from the CPR before the ambulance arrived, and his temples are throbbing. The cross around his neck feels heavy, like it’s pulling him through the floor. Someone must have opened a window, he thinks, his shoulders shaking in the December air. A different paramedic tells him the police will be there any minute, that he needs to sit down and take some deep breaths. He’s pulled onto a chair and someone fits an oxygen mask over his face. His skin feels wrong and he tears the mask off, fumbling with the slick plastic.

    “Tell them no sirens,” Ilya gasps weakly. “Our daughter is asleep. She’s twelve years old.”

    A series of vignettes about fatherhood, adoption, and the grief of an otherwise-normal Tuesday night in December. Shane and Ilya don't know if they're ready for parenthood, and ten years later, Ilya knows he's not ready to be a single dad. Set post-canon, across eighteen years of their daughter's life.

    Language:
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    19 Oct 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    devastating

  2. Public Bookmark 77

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    Ilya Rozanov needs glasses. He’s cancelled his optometry appointment three times now.

    It’s not about the glasses.
    ____________________________________
    featuring avoidant Ilya, a migraine, a shower, and a rumination on fathers and sons.

    Language:
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    19 Oct 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    “We should- we should go.” Shane rose. He found himself tugging at Ilya’s arm, but he wasn’t moving. "This isn't-"

    “Shane, shut the fuck up.” Ilya said.

    “Hey-”

    Rozanov grabbed Shane’s face and forced his eyes back on the rink.

    “Holy shit.”

    It was all Shane could say. There, taking laps for an adoring crowd, was Ilya Rozanov.

    Shane Hollander would never admit this, not even under oath, but the first thing he noticed when he saw 32 year-old Ilya Rozanov, was that he looked really, really hot. He was entirely, spectacularly gorgeous.

    The second thing, the one far more pertinent, was that he was wearing black and red.

    “You get traded to Ottawa.” Shane uttered.

    “No-”

    Shane darted between the Rozanov circling the rink and the Rozanov beside him.

    “What the fuck did you do?” Shane asked.

    ----

    OR: 24 year-old Shane Hollander & Ilya Rozanov are thrust into 2023 where meet their future selves, and it is a lot for them both

    inspiried by CHEQMATE's amazing art of shane meeting future shane!

    Language:
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    10/10
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    18 Oct 2026

  4. Public Bookmark 52

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    Spring in Ottawa is pretty beautiful, if you think it might be your last. Crocuses peek out from under the frozen ground, purple dots against the thin layer of snow. The days are getting longer. Ilya’s been spending a lot of time sitting in the sun and watching the gentle canopy of leaves stretch out across the water. He tries to be positive about it. He used to only get hours with Shane. Minutes. Two weeks between seasons at the cottage used to stretch out in front of him like a sun-soaked forever. Ten years of reaching out and two weeks of grabbing and touching and having. He used to live for those hours and minutes and seconds. Six months to five years, they tell him, and in the grand scheme of things, six months really isn't that bad. 

    Spring and summer, Shane and Ilya, and a life sentence that's all too short. 

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    18 Oct 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    probably best I don't read this again unless I would like to sob

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    The thing is, David’s pretty sure the kid’s living in a car. Or a motel, or something. Things aren’t good; he’s sure of that. He’s not the most observant guy, and he’s kind of shocked Yuna and Shane seem completely oblivious. Ilya’s twelve years old and wears a sweatshirt that hugs his shoulders far too tight, jeans that ride up past his ankles. He grimaces every time he has to force his feet into his shoes, clearly also too small. He absolutely, patently refuses to be driven home, and Irina never picks him up. He says he doesn’t know his mother’s phone number when Yuna asks for it; David suspects she doesn’t have one. And Ilya completely shuts down when someone mentions joining a hockey team. 

    Ilya and Irina find themselves in Ottawa in 2003. Or more accurately, the Hollanders find them, and never seem to let go. 

    Language:
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    12 Jul 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    <3<3<3