CheatReality
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When the zoo finds itself in the path of the hurricane, Ed and his panther find themselves sheltering in place with the strange keeper and his twenty flamingos. Ed's been fascinated since he first saw Stede, but will proximity spark something more between them?
“Arthur, where are y— Ed!”
It sends a thrill through Ed to hear Stede’s tone change from its previous exasperated tone. It shouldn’t. Stede sounds like that about everyone. Stede sounds like that about the slightly dry tuna mayonnaise sandwiches at the monthly meeting.
“Hey.”
Stede is wearing his zoo-issued polo, of course, the logo new and crisp, barely out of the plastic wrapper, and his khaki shorts are pretty standard, but his wellies are nearly the same pink as the flamboyance of flamingos trailing behind him, with added sparkle.
Ed doesn’t smile when he sees them. The corners of his mouth might turn up, but that’s different. He’s been away for a month and he’s missed anyone being so inescapably Stede, with his flamingos gathered around him loosely, and lovingly eyeing the feed bucket he’s carrying.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 58,118
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Collections:
- 1
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Bookmarked by CheatReality
29 Jul 2026
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A 3:10 to Yuma AU. 1880s Arizona. Inept "Gentleman Rancher" Stede Bonnet volunteers to escort infamous outlaw Edward Teach to justice. Along the way, he'll have to choose between the man he wants and the man he wants to be.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 45,452
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 256
- Kudos:
- 190
- Bookmarks:
- 60
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- 3,133
Bookmarked by CheatReality
04 Dec 2025
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When Stede Bonnet ventures back to his hometown of Wellfleet, Massachusetts, he's expecting to have to deal with his father, his soon-to-be-ex-wife, and the twin bullies from his childhood.
He's not expecting the shark.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 31,293
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 232
- Kudos:
- 170
- Bookmarks:
- 38
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- 2,722
Bookmarked by CheatReality
17 Nov 2025
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Somniphobia (And Other Eleven-Letter Words) by YellowMustard
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
03 Feb 2024
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“I wanna stay,” he slurs, voice just on the cusp of unintelligible. His grip on Stede’s other hand tightens, and his eyes swirl wildly. “I don’t wanna go back, don’t let me go back, Stede–”
“Go back? Ed, what do you mean?”
“Don’t wanna…I wanna stay. Please. Lemme stay. Keep me…here, keep me–jus’ keep me, ‘kay?”
(OR: After the gravy basket, Ed is terrified of falling asleep. It's a fear that stays close by in the weeks that follow. A series of missing scenes from S2, BIG TIME angst with a happy, smutty ending. Because Ed deserves to be happy)
Bookmarked by CheatReality
08 Aug 2025
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"You don't get to say that to me," Ed had said.
Well, if Stede couldn't tell Ed he loved him, he would just have to show him, every single chance he got, and in every way he could think of.
Or, five times Stede couldn't say 'I love you' and one time he could.
Bookmarked by CheatReality
28 May 2025