DefinitelyNotAbby



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    Summary

    After getting expelled for “creative differences” with a smoke machine, Rodrick Heffley is shipped to the suburbs to live with his artsy cousin Janis Ian and finish out his senior year at North Shore High. His band is on life support, his report card looks like a horror movie, and the only way he’s allowed to play Battle of the Bands is if he drags his grades out of the crypt.

    Enter Regina George—former queen bee, and currently running a rebrand from “terrifying” to “tolerable.” She needs a public image refresh and a boyfriend who screams “I have layers.” While he needs tutoring, a parole officer for his homework, and someone who can bully him into passing senior year.

    A deal is struck: fake dating for optics; makeover (for his report card) in exchange for another makeover (but this time for her soul… allegedly if she does have one that is).

     

    UPDATE 11/01/25: i'm gonna crash out because of all these AI allegations against me! like what do i have to do to prove my innocence?! i already gave my explanation and evidence in chapter 14! what more do you people want from me?! 😭😭

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    65,599
    Chapters:
    18/?
    Comments:
    553
    Kudos:
    2,409
    Bookmarks:
    566
    Hits:
    67,607

    20 Oct 2025