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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    “The specific area that was damaged in the fall is what we refer to as the GAF center of the brain.” 

    “GAF?” Ilya asks, puzzled. “Doctor Matthieu, English is not my first language. Can you please speak plainly.”  

    “GAF stands for Give A Fuck.” 

    Ilya’s eyebrows shot to the top of his hairline. “...What?” 

    “I’m afraid that Shane is no longer able to give a fuck.” 

    OR

    After Shane's collision with Cliff Marlow, Shane damages the part of his brain where all of his fucks are stored. No longer able to give a fuck, he confesses his true feelings to Ilya, and says some things to his parents that he normally never would have dared.

    Language:
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    10,543
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    4/5
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    20 Aug 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

    Words:
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    05 Aug 2026

  3. Public Bookmark 81

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    Ilya was looking for advice when he text the wrong number Shane couldnt leave a random stranger on read during an emergency and now after 6 months of texting each other they're finally meeting in person.

    pt 2 of Emergency Contact

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    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,408
    Chapters:
    3/?
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    30 Jul 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Sequel to Breathing Room

    Ilya Rozanov has spent five years holding Shane Hollander at arm’s length - not because he didn’t love him, but because he loved him too much to ask him to risk everything for something that could fall apart. He was good at that: the careful distance, the walls that looked like indifference, the way he’d learned to be close without being close. He’d had a lot of practice.

    What he didn’t have practice for was what came after he was done lying to himself. He didn’t have practice for this - for something warm and bright and absolutely terrifying. Something that fits in the spaces between games and cities and the distance between Boston and Raleigh. Something that makes Ilya think, for the first time in a long time, that maybe the risk is worth it.

    He just needs to figure out what to do with it all before their careers swallow them whole

    He doesn’t get the chance to think about it for very long.

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    English
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    137,840
    Chapters:
    10/11
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    14 Jul 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    It's Fall of 2014 and Ilya Rozanov has cut all ties with Russia. But there's no such thing as a clean break, and leaving isn't as simple as never going back.
    -
    Basically a very self-indulgent fic about how hard it would be for Ilya to actually move on from the pain of the past and to go no contact with his family in a timeline where Grigori is still alive. Also, Ilya deserves to be known and loved by more people than just Shane and Sveta. Forced/Found Family here we come.
    *Sequel to my canon-divergence fic "To only ever know the cold" (go read that first or this won't make sense!)

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    English
    Words:
    19,066
    Chapters:
    7/12
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    12 Jul 2026