LastPositivist
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Becalmed by LastPositivist
Fandoms: Warhammer 40.000, Warhammer 40k (Novels) - Various Authors
15 Sep 2026
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Summary
In the grim darkness of the far future there is only war. And quite right too, say the pious Khornites of the Sanguinary Utnapishtim, the small Empire in which our tales take place. In order to perpetuate this blesséd state of affairs, and see that war involves maximally - and they mean maximally - many skulls taken, they have created the Office for Ceremonial Calculation. In this series of shorts we follow their misadventures, as this vast bureaucracy of pious Khorne worshipers works hard to ensure we get effective misanthropy, and that the Sanguinary Utnapishtim truly produces the greatest rage for the greatest number.
In today's misadventure, the logisticians face the thorny issue of Abominable Intelligence alignment.
Series
- Part 31 of The Office for Ceremonial Calculations
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 495
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 4
- Hits:
- 127
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Community Disservice by LastPositivist
Fandoms: Warhammer 40.000, Warhammer 40k (Novels) - Various Authors
18 Jul 2026
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Summary
In the grim darkness of the far future there is only war. And quite right too, say the pious Khornites of the Sanguinary Utnapishtim, the small Empire in which our tales take place. In order to perpetuate this blesséd state of affairs, and see that war involves maximally - and they mean maximally - many skulls taken, they engage in various shenanigans and misadventures. Today we explore their legal system, and how it handles relationships between slaves and freemen.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,023
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 9
- Hits:
- 166
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Diplomatic Emergency by LastPositivist
Fandoms: Warhammer 40.000, Warhammer 40k (Novels) - Various Authors
17 Jun 2026
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Summary
In the grim darkness of the far future there is only war. And quite right too, say the pious Khornites of the Sanguinary Utnapishtim, the small Empire in which our tales take place. In order to perpetuate this blesséd state of affairs, and see that war involves maximally - and they mean maximally - many skulls taken, they have created the Office for Ceremonial Calculation. In this series of shorts we follow their misadventures, as this vast bureaucracy of pious Khorne worshipers works hard to ensure we get effective misanthropy, and that the Sanguinary Utnapishtim truly produces the greatest rage for the greatest number.
In today's misadventure, we explore a new part of our little setting. Alone in Imperium Nihilus, the new planetary polities of this region are having to make do without the Imperium to, if not keep the peace, then at least manage the hostilities. To that end they have established the cleared out Space Hulk, Tintirki Cinq, as a neutral ground on which the regional powers can negotiate with one another. Our story today is set on that ship, as matters of interstellar import are decided upon. We follow the Khornate diplomatic corp as it attempts to stave off disaster for the Empire...
Series
- Part 30 of The Office for Ceremonial Calculations
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Lord of War by LastPositivist
Fandoms: Warhammer 40.000, Warhammer 40k (Novels) - Various Authors
19 May 2026
Tags
Summary
In the grim darkness of the far future there is only war. And quite right too, say the pious Khornites of the Sanguinary Utnapishtim, the small Empire in which our tales take place. In order to perpetuate this blesséd state of affairs, and see that war involves maximally - and they mean maximally - many skulls taken, they engage in various shenanigans and misadventures. Today we explore that ever complex matter of Astartes-mortal relationships.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,145
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 3
- Hits:
- 63
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Peace - An Audit (Excerpts) by LastPositivist
Fandoms: Warhammer 40.000, Warhammer 40k (Novels) - Various Authors
03 May 2026
Tags
Summary
In the grim darkness of the far future there is only war. And quite right too, say the pious Khornites of the Sanguinary Utnapishtim, the small Empire in which our tales take place. In order to perpetuate this blesséd state of affairs, and see that war involves maximally - and they mean maximally - many skulls taken, they have created the Office for Ceremonial Calculation. In this series of shorts we follow their misadventures, as this vast bureaucracy of pious Khorne worshipers works hard to ensure we get effective misanthropy, and that the Sanguinary Utnapishtim truly produces the greatest rage for the greatest number.
In today's misadventure, a logistician performs an audit on a cultural intervention. How do you measure the value of a song? In the lives it ruins, the fights it starts? Or just the hate it inspires in all of us? Art is such a beautiful complex thing!
Series
- Part 29 of The Office for Ceremonial Calculations
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 494
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 3
- Hits:
- 41
Recent series
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The Office for Ceremonial Calculations by LastPositivist
Fandom Warhammer, Warhammer 40.000, Warhammer 40k (Novels) - Various Authors
15 Sep 2026
- Words:
- 15,427
- Works:
- 31
- Bookmarks:
- 5