LesbianMastermind
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"Nope, no way, I'm not wearing that," the Cat King declares petulantly, arms crossed and expression closed and definite.
"For fuck's sake, Thomas, get a grip. You said you'd do it, we're losing precious solving time with your tantrum, just put on the bloody ears and pompom tail," the dead boy commands. The Cat King shakes his head again, an honest to God pout on his lovely red lips, and Edwin has half a mind to shake him—the other half wants to shove him inside the nearest broom-closet to snog him senseless, but he thinks that might just be the revealing bodysuit and expenses of tanned, golden skin, the dusting of dark hair on his calves and inner thighs, and the faint smell of sweat he can almost taste on the tip of his tongue, tangy and salty and making him loose his focus and his calm.
"I changed my mind! I am not going to be a fucking bunny girl, alright? I'm not! Just because I have a banging hot body and like showing off doesn't mean I should debase myself with some stupid rabbit attire, I'm a Cat King, I don't impersonate stupid little critters!" he exclaims again, too loud for Edwin's taste.
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Something is rotting in the Parisian streets and no-one even know—yet. A Revolution is fomenting, a child has been abducted, and the Dead Boy Detectives aren't as used to hating the royals as the French are, which is why they are proposed the case. Find the child, stop the evil machinations of whoever took the child, restore order. The Cat President finds them a minder to wander the city and set wrongs to right again, in the presence of an angsty Cat King.
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Things might not be exactly as easy as they seem—not when part of the machinations could mean Edwin's doom on top of a Job not well jobbed at all. Time's a ticking in Paris.
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'Hey so are we on a « tu » basis or are we still pretty « vous » ?' by LesbianMastermind
Fandoms: Dead Boy Detectives (TV)
10 Aug 2026
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"I'm on vacation, Detectives, and I'm not going back to that shithole unless I have… incentive enough. You know how great France is? everyone is in a sour mood and hate everyone else, all the time! it's so fucking refreshing, they're not even pretending to be happy. Damn, I bet Jenny would love it here, I should send her a postcard. Wanted to send you—"he points to Edwin specifically when declaring that, all dancing eyebrows and grinning teeth, all pretension of happiness instead of real glee—"one, but I figured the radio-silence meant you wouldn't be interested… and I was pretty sure that fucking postman of yours wouldn't have told me how pearl-clutchingly you'd have clutched your pearls when you received it, so that spoilt half the fun. Ugh that ghost is annoying. Anyway, what exactly is bringing you three geniuses to the French countryside? Has Mick tattled on me?"
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The Dead Boy Detectives Agency needs help from a vacationing Cat King, and they won't get it for free; meet the Dahu, a French folk legend/piece of lore in an unexpected catwin/France mix.
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You Winnie the Pooh-ass bitch by LesbianMastermind for KissMyAsthma
Fandoms: Dead Boy Detectives (TV)
30 Jul 2026
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"Meatball, I am only trying to help," Edwin finally snaps; his patience has been growing thinner and thinner, and this is certainly not helping matters.
"Babe, there are treats in treats under the—stop screaming Edwin, it's just me—under the sink," Thomas voice calls. Edwin swears (profusely), a rare occurrence that hasn't been quite so rare ever since he stepped foot in the damned flat. He's thumped the back of his neck against the couch in his hurry to get up, terrified at the sound of a slightly buzzy voice, before scowling at himself, and the spot smarts a bit.
Obviously, Edwin's has got to turn and look around, but he already knows Thomas' voice is coming from some kind of electronic device.
"Did you stalk me through a bloody nanny cam?!" he demands, offended, searching for some random out of place plushie.
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Thomas' and Edwin's relationship is progressing, and they are facing the first obstacle in their relationship, in the form of a stupid, fat cat.
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"Sweetheart, could I steal you away for a sec? or, like… fifteen minutes up to an hour?" Thomas calls from the other side of their flat. Edwin sighs, but it's good-natured, despite his lover not being around to see him do so. He's exhausted from staring at his screen, grading papers, some of which he suspects have been made with the help of an incompetent Artificial Intelligence, and he could use the break, or even the excuse to tuck in for the day. He's not a fool, either. This is wednesday, the light is a little golden, and it's five P.M., which is Meatball Shooting Designated Hour.
This has been a ritual for a few months, now. Each Wednesday, Thomas will set up shop in one of their offices with The Pest, and gently bully him into different parts of the room he'll have spent the first part of the week setting up, ringlights, everything ready to make the best pictures he can.
This time, Edwin joins.
Series
Recent series
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The MeatballVerse (where you'd think Catwin is the main event, but Meatball was actually the MC all along) by LesbianMastermind
Fandom Dead Boy Detectives (TV)
30 Jul 2026
- Words:
- 13,029
- Works:
- 4
- Bookmarks:
- 5
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Dipshit and Fuckface aren't seeing eye to eye by LesbianMastermind
Fandom Dead Boy Detectives (TV)
15 Feb 2026
- Words:
- 26,286
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 1
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They match each other's freak in a way that is uncomfortable for the other characters to watch by LesbianMastermind
Fandom Dead Boy Detectives (TV)
07 Dec 2025
Summary
Edwin and Thomas explore the dom/sub dynamic they sometimes like to engage in. Safely. Sex words are discussed, everything is all very very consensual. It just makes the submitting to easier, more pleasurable. Letting go, losing control. It just makes the dominating easier, because they know just how much the other is enjoying everything.
We're not skipping on the aftercare either. They get the full experience.Three first works from Edwin's POV, while he's the sub.
Chapters to come from Thomas', in the sub position as well.- Words:
- 11,772
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 5
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Half of being a Cat King is... well... being a half cat. by LesbianMastermind
Fandom Dead Boy Detectives (TV)
28 Oct 2025
- Words:
- 3,929
- Works:
- 1
Recent bookmarks
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In which doors are unlocked and opened and then stepped right through.
Touch me how you want, I promise you, I want it too.
Suivant means next/following x
Bookmarked by LesbianMastermind
23 Aug 2026
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it's just in my nature by artemisadore for Arcane_Wanderlust
Fandoms: Dead Boy Detectives (TV)
21 Nov 2025
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Charles' fae lovers finally agree to bed him in Faerie, as long as he follows their rules.
Charles is more than happy to oblige.
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dbda creature week 2025, day five: fey & tricksters
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,515
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 10
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Bookmarked by LesbianMastermind
20 Aug 2026
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The Ultimate Guide to Writing Smut Fic by QuinnAnderson for kali_asleep
Fandoms: Original Work
05 Sep 2013
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A comprehensive guide to writing both queer and het erotic fiction, written by published novelist Quinn Anderson. Includes lists of sexy words, references, and some general writing tips. Please feel free to use without credit.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,878
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 5
- Comments:
- 937
- Kudos:
- 18,730
- Bookmarks:
- 9,757
- Hits:
- 821,279
Bookmarked by LesbianMastermind
17 Aug 2026
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Summary
The Cat King snorted. "Told you. I bet it's just a story made up so the young lovers had an excuse to go fool around in the woods. Good fortune and riches sound like a reason to stay up all night, right? And anyway…" Thomas gave the ghost a pointed look. "Summer solstice celebrations are usually about fun, fertility and fucking."
"Oh, really now-"
"I'm right and you know it."
***
Written for Catwin Cultural Exchange Zine- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,393
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 4
- Kudos:
- 20
- Bookmarks:
- 3
- Hits:
- 111
Bookmarked by LesbianMastermind
10 Aug 2026
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something unholy (getting hot at the body shop) by artemisadore, DontOffendTheBees
Fandoms: Dead Boy Detectives (TV)
29 Jul 2026
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Summary
“It certainly would mean a great deal to me if you were to take Charles in.”
Thomas heaves a sigh and waves his hand in the air dismissively. “Yeah, sure. Fine. Whatever. But if you two are some sort of deranged serial-killing duo, at least promise to make the crime scene photos cinematic, m’kay? I want the Netflix true crime doc about us to stay in the Top 10 for weeks.”
Edwin’s answering look is wry, but not displeased. In fact, it's unfortunately rather hot. “Is that a yes?”
“Yes,” Thomas agrees before he can think better of it.
“Good,” Edwin declares, standing abruptly. “Because he’s waiting outside.”
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Mechanic Thomas King is surprised when one of his regulars, beautiful and bitchy Edwin Payne, shows up on his doorstep asking for a favor — his best friend, Charles Rowland, is in need of a job and a place to crash after being kicked out by his old man.
Unfortunately for Thomas, he has never been very good at saying no to a pretty face, let alone two.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,951
- Chapters:
- 5/10
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 84
- Kudos:
- 85
- Bookmarks:
- 10
- Hits:
- 885
Bookmarked by LesbianMastermind
02 Jul 2026