PerpendicularPotato
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Tarred Rope and Spoiled Queen Anne's Lace by PerpendicularPotato
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
03 Dec 2025
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Somebody had been lurking in the hallway.
And not just anybody—an alpha.
Edward hadn’t noticed right away. Food and water were still delivered and left with a knock, maybe a quick ‘Here you go, captain’ and no attempt to engage or linger. When Edward hurriedly retrieved them after letting the footfalls fade away, there was never a sign of anybody.
But in between…
Ironically, he hadn’t been alerted by the smell because his scent barrier was holding. But that didn’t stop the air from getting through—and having effects.
When he finally got suspicious and everything clicked into place, he got furious—mostly at himself.
— • ◇ • —
Stuck without any other options, Edward tries to ride out the worst heat of his life alone, barricaded in his cabin behind a barrier held together with vinegar rags and misdirection.
If he can keep his tactical mind and if his scent containment holds, maybe he can still walk out as Blackbeard by the end of it.
Originally intended for Kinktober 2025 Day 25: Omega Verse + Praise Kink
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Illustration for "Useful" by Bigbluebuttfeathers by PerpendicularPotato
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
30 Nov 2025
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Frenchie and Ed do a bit of Rhino Horn in the captain's cabin on Frenchie's first night as Blackbeard's First Mate.
Ed gives himself one more chance to feel something before one of his suicide-by-proxy schemes finally pans out.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 49
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 6
- Hits:
- 79
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Wee John lifted the center panel and held it up to Edward’s chest while making thoughtful humming noises. As he carefully adjusted the position and ran his hands across the fabric to flatten it against the skin, Edward felt himself break out into gooseflesh.
There was something about the combination of delicate silk and lace brushed against his skin by Wee John’s huge rough hands—calloused from shipboard labour and needlework alike—that still got to Edward every time. He had to fight the impulse to look down and keep still instead.
A raided trunk full of finery clearly not intended for a body like his sparks something in Edward.
As it turns out, sometimes it can be a lot less scary to ask for what you want if you can turn it into a bit.Written for Kinktober Day 19: Size Difference + Feminization
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Stede has been switching up storytime by reading the crew some ancient Greek myths—they might be a little risqué at times, but, if he dares to say so himself, it has been a rousing success!
There are, as it turns out, some rather unexpected consequences.
Stede used his other hand to gently but ruthlessly pull the pillow away, revealing Ed’s lovely face—so very flushed with embarrassment and arousal, brows stormy with wounded dignity and lips bitten red and pushed out in a clear pout.
Stede easily lobbed the pillow to the foot end of the bed, far out of reach.
“Hey!”
He ignored Ed’s protest and instead leaned in closer, pushing his own body flush with Ed’s, lips almost brushing his ear when he continued speaking: “They were chasing you, Edward, weren’t they?”
Combining Kinktober prompts from
- Day 3: Gangbang, Yiffing, Cock/Prostate milking (sorta)
- Day 5: Ravishment Fantasy
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There was probably something to be said about how many of Ed’s most prominent tattoos were of things he was absolutely terrified of. The giant snake on his arm, for example. Or the not one, not two, but three enormous spiders on both feet and his left hand, that instead of desensitizing him, had just led to him religiously wearing his black leather glove...
So he couldn’t even really blame the choice of a kraken on drunk stupidity alone. Though that night’s events were all a bit of a blur and he wasn’t even entirely certain that he had even been the one to make the call.For years, Edward Teach had been hiding safely in Blackbeard’s shadow. But the only thing scarier than being seen clearly might be not being seen at all.
He’d long ago written off being recognized and held unconditionally and without judgment as a childish dream—until he discovered that some dreams might be far more real than they should be.
Recent series
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Summary
The work The Marks Left On Your Skin explores themes of of internalized homophobia / toxic masculinity through 7 sexual encounters Ed has had from his first time with Jack on Hornigold's ship to months into the Innkeepers era.
Each chapter features at least two illustrations.
This series will additionally include at least a one-shot of Izzy’s POV of chapter 5, however, I think this might also escalate into something longer and cover new ground.
- Words:
- 35,095
- Works:
- 1
- Bookmarks:
- 2
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Ed crossed his arms. “What would you have me do, captain? To restore my reputation. Go.”
Stede gestured awkwardly. “Right. Why don’t you- you can-” he stumbled on his words, clearly less than used to bossing his former co-captain around. “Fit in more-“
“Got it, fit in more,” Ed parroted enthusiastically. “Yes, ok.”
“Ah- yes. Be… helpful-” Ed let out an intrigued ‘ooh’ there as Stede continued. “There’s a lot of things that need doing-“
Before he could stop himself, the thoughts he had been bottling up for the past few days spilled out of his mouth. “Do you need doing?”
Stede stopped and stared, eyes wide, face unreadable. “I’m sorry?”
“I-uh-“ Ed gulped and tugged at the bell around his neck as if it was a collar he could loosen. It gave a gentle jingle. “I- I was just…” he was scrambling frantically for something to say, somehow to back out of all of this, because holy shit did he just put himself out there for Stede to reject again? “I was wondering if you-“ he made his voice small, cowering a bit at the dismissal he was sure was coming his way. “If you wanted me to, um, help you in any way. You know. To be helpful.”
Mild OFMD S2 spoilers! Mostly Porn.
Bookmarked by PerpendicularPotato
17 Jun 2024
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He turns into the kitchen, prepared to drop to his knees right there, when he sees his husband.
Stede’s wearing tight black slacks and a white button-up shirt with the top buttons undone, just enough to show the slightest glimpse of his chest. He can hear the music playing off of Stede’s phone more clearly now, a song he vaguely recognizes from the Dirty Dancing soundtrack.
Yeah. Ed's definitely fucked.
or: stede decides to take advantage of ed's little crush on patrick swayze in dirty dancing
Series
- Part 2 of and i owe it all to you
Bookmarked by PerpendicularPotato
05 Oct 2025
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Stede is launching a new ethical porn website when his boyfriend and partner drops out. Enter Ed Teach, the most attractive person he's ever seen, offering to step in as his partner. How can he avoid wanting something more than just a screen sex partner?
Ed Teach thinks it's a great idea at first to offer to do porn with the hottest guy he's ever seen. They quickly fall into a friends with benefits sort of arrangement, but Ed realizes to his dismay that his feelings for Stede are growing. It’s too weird to ask him out now, though, right?
~~~~~
A pining while fucking AU using some of the OFMD Kinktober prompts
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 60,757
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 601
- Kudos:
- 302
- Bookmarks:
- 43
- Hits:
- 7,653
Bookmarked by PerpendicularPotato
01 Oct 2025
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"And by the Revenge you mean..?"
"The ship. What if the ship could fuck me?"
Kinktober 2025, Day 1: Sex Machine / Cockwarming / Anal Beads
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,931
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 22
- Kudos:
- 72
- Bookmarks:
- 7
- Hits:
- 624
Bookmarked by PerpendicularPotato
01 Oct 2025
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Escape From Alpha Manor by luftnarp-writing (secretsofluftnarp), secretsofluftnarp
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
13 Mar 2023
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Summary
Ed (still very much the pirate Blackbeard) gets captured during an Omega Hunt, and decides to cause problems on purpose.
Inspired by the drabble "Alpha Hunt" by Tipsy_Kitty
Bookmarked by PerpendicularPotato
27 Sep 2025