SamExley



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  1. Public Bookmark *

    Unarmed. Unbothered. Unhinged. by

    Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling  

    13 Jul 2026

    Tags
    Summary

    Four Slytherins and a Gryffindor crammed into a Muggle apartment.
    Sure, why not?

    Hermione runs a programme: take former Death Eaters who failed their court-mandated therapy and teach them how to function in the Muggle world.

    It was meant to be educational.
    It became... something else.

    This fic is roughly 80% chaos and 20% cute. Where the smut fits into that is between you and your conscience.

    Pansy - socially lethal, beautifully dressed, a problem.
    Theo - chaotic manchild or unsettling genius. Your pick.
    Blaise - sexual deviant. No pick. You'll like him anyway.
    Draco - arrogant, impressively incompetent and permanently attached to a baseball cap. Oh, and he wants Hermione. Bad.

    Don't read this if you're a normal, sane person.
    Do read if you want to laugh and question your life choices at 3am.

    The only fic I'd recommend reading as a WIP—small doses.

    Hermione developed a kink.
    Draco developed feelings.
    Theo found Muggle tech.
    Nobody emerged from this experience unchanged.
    You probably won't, either... not convinced that's a good thing.

    I spent two months immersed in this and started thinking in nothing but double entendres.

    Good luck.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    46,124
    Chapters:
    29/29
    Comments:
    139
    Kudos:
    401
    Bookmarks:
    353
    Hits:
    21,138
    Bookmarked by SamExley

    22 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

    No Hard Feelings by , , ,

    Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling  

    21 Dec 2025

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    Summary

    Hermione’s ex is getting married. Everyone thinks she’s not over him. There’s only one way to make it clear that she is: take a date to his wedding.
    The problem? The only person available is the last person she wants to fake it with.

    —----------------------------------------------------

    She stared at him. “Why would you do that?”
    Malfoy shrugged. “I’m single. I’m available in December—”
    “—That’s an interesting way of saying ‘my family’s all in Azkaban and everyone else hates me’—”
    “—Or maybe,” he interjected again. “I just really want a front row seat to this blowing up in your face.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,021
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    4
    Comments:
    429
    Kudos:
    5,335
    Bookmarks:
    1,170
    Hits:
    62,202
    Bookmarked by SamExley

    31 May 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

    The Emerald Trio by

    Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling  

    12 Oct 2026

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    Summary

    Post-war, Hermione Granger finds herself adrift in a world determined to move on too quickly.

    Against all odds, Draco Malfoy and Theodore Nott become the two people she trusts most. What starts as close friendship and easy companionship quickly grows into something neither simple nor entirely platonic.

    When feelings surface, the three of them are forced to confront a difficult question: can they risk changing everything, and can Hermione love them both without losing either of them?

    OR: Hermione Granger accidentally acquires two possessive Slytherins, and things get complicated.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    248,233
    Chapters:
    36/46
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    1,759
    Kudos:
    1,706
    Bookmarks:
    871
    Hits:
    104,901
    Bookmarked by SamExley

    31 May 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

    Attractive, Annoying, and Other Adjectives by

    Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling  

    27 Feb 2026

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    Summary

    Hermione is 30, single, and looking for a new place. Desperate and with no promising prospects, she reluctantly moves in with three chaotic wizards… and no guide to understanding their ridiculous antics.

     

    Inspired by New Girl: features a snarky, curmudgeonly Draco, optimistic and industrious Hermione, Type A Blaise, and wildcard Theo.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    228,904
    Chapters:
    37/37
    Comments:
    384
    Kudos:
    571
    Bookmarks:
    619
    Hits:
    54,497
    Bookmarked by SamExley

    01 Apr 2025

  5. Public Bookmark *

    Illyrian Bonds by

    Fandoms: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas  

    11 Apr 2026

    Tags
    Summary

    Feyre Archeron is kidnapped by the High Lord of the Night Court. He has taken her to be his bride... but not only his. His best friends Cassian and Azriel want her too. Feyre finds herself falling for all three Illyrians, the bride of her very own reverse harem.

    *There is no plot, this is just smut hahahah*

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    76,094
    Chapters:
    28/28
    Comments:
    272
    Kudos:
    1,886
    Bookmarks:
    491
    Hits:
    234,766
    Bookmarked by SamExley

    03 Nov 2023