Xantos
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"Here we go, two milkshakes for the two kinds of Mortys— the one who does whatever he wants and the one who sucks my grandpa's dick. You know what? I'll drink both milkshakes."
Evil Morty blows Rick in his car in this one, broh.
Bookmarked by Xantos
24 Aug 2026
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One of his cybernetic limbs fires and a yelp rings out. Mortimer’s gaze trails over to see Morty’s Rick, about fifty or so feet back, looking nervous. A laser burn has been painted in the wall next to him, as are two others nearby. Clearly not his first attempt to get closer.
Emergency protocols are still working then.
…Wait.
Mortimer double takes. His emergency protocol is one of the few untouched parts he has left. A quick diagnosis report, albeit a tad slower than normal, reveals that it hasn’t been tampered with or has any known glitches. It’s doing its job: protecting him from threats like Rick C-137 while his body is severely injured and unable to protect itself.
Which begs the question for why Morty C-137 is right next to him, completely untouched and unthreatened.
(If Evil Morty ever takes a genuinely bad hit, he has backup protocols to protect him while he’s down, keeping threats away while he recovers. For some reason, said protocols do not perceive Morty C-137 as a threat.)
Series
- Part 4 of Here There Be Ricks And Mortys
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,946
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 14
- Kudos:
- 606
- Bookmarks:
- 82
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- 3,721
Bookmarked by Xantos
22 Aug 2026
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When he takes too long to reply, Candidate Morty starts talking. “You were right before. Out of the two of us, you should be nervous. Your plan to confront a highly dangerous individual with no weapons, no bugs, no backup or anything to ensure you’d walk out of the room again, was foolish at best and suicidal at worst. You came to accuse me of my crimes and wanted to talk to me alone?”
“I— I’m not trying to threaten you.” Campaign Morty manages at last, opening his eyes again. Candidate Morty stands, circling around to lean on the edge of his desk with his arms crossed.
“Oh?” He asks. “Enlighten me, what is your plan here? Because it’s stupid enough that I can’t figure out what it is.”
(Campaign Manager Morty is handed a file with everything he needs to know about the kind of person 'Presidential Candidate Morty’ really is. He confronts him directly, intriguing Evil Morty enough to hear him out.)
Series
- Part 8 of Here There Be Ricks And Mortys
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,061
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 3
- Kudos:
- 107
- Bookmarks:
- 12
- Hits:
- 750
Bookmarked by Xantos
22 Aug 2026
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Mortal and god faced each other, one standing above the other. A mockery of the status quo. Blasphemous. Poetic.
“Call off the storm.” He did not beg. He did not demand either. He simply told the Sea to obey.
The Sea would not.
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Odysseus defeated Poseidon right before reaching home, but seeing him broken and bloody, the mortal cannot make himself simply leave the god. It felt too much like the battlefield at Troy. Hoping for a sliver of humanity still inside of him for when he finally greeted his family again, Odysseus decided to tend to Poseidon before leaving. He never expected a second encounter with the God of the Sea.
Series
- Part 1 of The Hardest Skill to Learn is Kindness
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,950
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Comments:
- 122
- Kudos:
- 1,070
- Bookmarks:
- 143
- Hits:
- 12,443
Bookmarked by Xantos
02 Aug 2026
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“Easy now, cub. You’re as sweet and untouched as a new bride. Better than your mother, I’d wager. I could just as well marry you and then we wouldn’t need her anymore, hmm?” [telemachus/antinous]
Bookmarked by Xantos
02 Aug 2026