almagentil
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Summary
eddie's not entirely sure he believes in getting help, at least not for himself. there's only so much healing to be had for a body torn apart by bullets, for a mind that's only half there, for a man who's been leaving pieces of himself behind all his life with nothing to take their place.
except, as it turns out, falling apart happens in increments, and healing does, too: it happens when you gnaw a hole in your lip trying to keep quiet only to have the words escape; when you realize that the ghost you've been seeing out of the corner of your eye is yourself; when your best friend smiles, and you allow it to take your breath away.
it happens through the smallest of things: bird feeders, and cacti, and pasta shapes.
meanwhile, the world goes on.
(or: the entity often affectionately referred to as the unrepression fic.)
Series
- Part 1 of tell me about despair
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“I'm gay.”
He's looking at his feet, because he hasn't quite come to terms with the fact that he's saying this in a room where other people, strangers, can hear it.
But this is still the first time he's said it this way: out loud, in a declarative sentence. Being nervous is fine. Frank said that being nervous is fine, and Buck just said he's proud, and the only thought Eddie has in his head is that it's embarrassing he can't raise his head and say it like a man, so clearly, he's going to need to hang on to other people's words for the time being, someone who isn't his dad trying to explain the ways Eddie's allowed to inhabit the world.
He doesn't need to ask anyone's permission to be who he is. That's also a thing Frank said.
in which eddie attends a self-empowerment group for gbtq men to supplement his therapy, and is empowered to: forgive himself, say "i'm gay" to his own reflection in the mirror, accidentally adopt an adult, make fried rice, and tell his straight best friend that he's in love with him. not necessarily in that order.
- Language:
- English
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- 56,228
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- 3/3
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Bookmarked by almagentil
27 Dec 2023
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Adriana doesn’t tell their parents that she’s going to LA. She doesn’t tell Eddie, either—or ask, for that matter.
She does ask Chris, and he thinks it’s a good idea—says as much, on the phone, and doesn’t say much else.
“Buck will probably be hovering,” is what Chris does volunteer.
It still surprises her when the man who opens the door is not Eddie. It’s—Captain America, is the thing that actually comes to mind—a man close to a foot taller than she is, if not more than that, with blond curls and broad shoulders, and he’s got a question in his very blue eyes that’s probably less friendly than the one he actually asks her.
“Uh,” he says. “Can I help you?”
—
Or: Adriana arrives in LA. Maddie has been here the whole time.
- Language:
- English
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- 47,911
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- 3/3
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Bookmarked by almagentil
11 May 2025