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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    “We, uh, Brian and I, that is. We decided to open up the relationship.”

    “Okay?” Ilya says, voice flat. “What is that?”

    Hollander shrugs. His posture has gone stiff again. “It. It means we’re still together, but we can also like...see other people. Or not see, because we’re not dating anyone else but, uh. Fuck. Fuck other people.”

    Oh.

    “And this is why you texted me?” Ilya asks.

    In a way, it’s almost better. Hollander and his boyfriend breaking up and Ilya reaping the rewards would be enjoyable. Ilya having to work for that reward himself, getting the chance to fuck Hollander so good he forgets all about that loser who attached himself to him like a parasite before he was old enough to know better?

    Well. Ilya loves a challenge.

    Language:
    English
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    33,150
    Chapters:
    6/6
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    05 Aug 2026

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    The pain has become too much for Ilya Rozanov to carry. For years, he’s lived with grief that never really healed, loneliness that followed him from Russia to Boston to Ottawa, and the constant exhaustion of pretending he’s okay when he hasn’t been in a very long time. Hockey gave him purpose. Shane Hollander gave him love. But neither could silence the ache left behind by losing his mother or the growing belief that maybe it was time to see her again.

    So one morning, after one too many days suffering in silence, Ilya decides he’s done fighting. He leaves behind a letter for Shane, swallows a bottle of pills, and waits for the pain to end. Unfortunately for him, he is loved far too deeply for the universe to let him go that easily.

    When the Hollanders find him in time, Ilya is forced into something he never planned for: surviving. And surviving means psychiatric holds, therapy sessions, difficult conversations, and learning how to let people care for him without believing he’s a burden. Most terrifying of all, it means letting Shane see every ugly, broken piece of him he tried so desperately to hide.

    Or: Ilya Rozanov attempts suicide, but the Hollanders love him too much to let him go quietly.

    Language:
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    25,731
    Chapters:
    3/?
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    04 Aug 2026

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  3. Public Bookmark *

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    ROZANOV DOWN: Ottawa Captain Carried Off Ice on Stretcher After Third Period Hit. Rozanov unconscious on impact. Fencing response observed. Cervical collar applied. Transferred to hospital by ambulance. Shane Hollander received game misconduct following altercation and did not return to the ice.

     

    A grade-3 concussion leaves Ilya Rozanov trapped in a "slow" brain, struggling to reclaim the elite hockey instincts that once defined his identity. Within the sanctuary of their darkened apartment, Shane Hollander anchors their life, managing every medical detail while privately bracing against his own silent terror. It is a portrait of the grueling, quiet patience required to wait out a neurological fog, hoping the person on the other side eventually finds their way back.

    Series
    Language:
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    37,110
    Chapters:
    2/2
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    04 Aug 2026

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    Shane lifts one eyelid again to look at Rozanov. His eyes are red-rimmed. Like he’s been crying. “Why…why aren’t you in Boston?”

    Rozanov’s brow furrows. “Why would I be in Boston?”

    “You, you’re captain. Raiders. Boston.”

    The room is silent except for the beeping of monitors.

    In 2023, Shane takes a bad hit on the ice. When he wakes up, the last thing he remembers is a tuna melt.

    There’s a lot to get used to.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    43,230
    Chapters:
    9/9
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    04 Aug 2026

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    “Why the fuck do you care what happens to Rozanov?”

    Shane doesn’t answer.

    He’s already running for the Raiders’ locker room.

    ⎯⎯⎯

    Or, Ilya has a panic attack in the Raiders' locker room after getting a phone call from his brother telling him about his father’s death.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    64,807
    Chapters:
    21/?
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    04 Aug 2026

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