cunninglanguage



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  1. Public Bookmark 66

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    In the wake of the Boxing Day fight, Shane and Ilya are on opposite schedules. They’ve barely had time to text, let alone have a call long enough to clear the air. After yet another hard loss, Shane hears one homophobic comment too many and snaps.

    In which Shane decides to blow up his life and get his man.

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    29 Aug 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    "Sometimes I really don't understand you two," Scott says. And Ilya thinks, well, of course not. No one ever does. 

    During Ilya and Shane's second season together in Ottawa, Shane stays home with a separated shoulder and Ilya goes on a road trip. There's a misunderstanding about Medusa, the stripper that Ilya put through nursing school, a lifetime contract with gay and a rookie with a secret. All that, plus Scott Hunter wants relationship advice.

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    27 Aug 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    My take on this Tumblr dot com post:

    Tuna melt au where Shane starts freaking out and so to distract him Ilya is like "I got the marble imported from Turkey, custom cut by a local contractor here in Boston" and Shane wants to have a freak out but he's always wondered about the quality of marble from Turkey, he got his counters from Italy and China but he saw options from Turkey and Brazil and wondered. He really should go, but now he's wondering if Ilya will answer his other questions like who was the architect that built this house and where did ilya find that tile that's in his guest bathroom. Basically Ilya using Shane's real estate fetish to keep him from running out during the tuna meltdown.

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    27 Aug 2026

  4. Public Bookmark 30

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    Ilya squints and leans closer. Shane leans to meet him, but is once again held back, “Are you… Are you high?”

    The suggestion is so ridiculous that Shane burst into hysterical laughter. High? Shane Hollander does not get high. Shane Hollander takes himself way too fucking seriously to even consider ruining his career through something as impulsive and reckless as recreational drug use. Shane Hollander is so tightly wound the stick up his ass has probably become a diamond. Shane Hollander… Shane Hollander hears the soft crinkle of plastic in his pants pocket.

    His laughter tapers off, “I think I might be.”

     

    OR after The Trip, Shane runs away to blow off some steam. And get some things off his chest.
    slight, minimal, babiest hand-wavey canon divergences to get things to line up the way i want (setting probably more like Ottawa than Montreal, Ilya and Shane don't talk on the ice after the game, Shane's problems are a little less resolved, etc)

    In other words:
    Let Shane Hollander Crash Out 2026

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    27 Aug 2026

  5. Public Bookmark 73

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    The article is–to be frank, it’s absolute garbage. It was written for some second-rate gossip magazine with a flashy click-bate title and blurry photos cobbled together with half-substantiated claims that definitely skirt the line of libel. It barely counts as journalism.

    Rozanov has been brought up to him so many times throughout his career the name doesn’t even flood his brain with panic like it should when the reporter asks. He had even been expecting it since they had just played Boston the previous week. In fact, he already starts, his answer formulated before the rest of the question has caught up to his processing center.

    Maybe it’s for the best because in the next few days his response will blow up and his baffled face will be one of the only things to help the public believe he’s innocent.

    “Rozanov is–” And when the rest of the sentence registers, he can almost hear the record scratch in his brain, and all of his extensive media training fails him, “Sorry, we’re what?”

    OR
    during the height of functional situationship (pre-tunameltdown 2016) a tabloid publishes an article accusing Shane and Ilya of everything under the sun. Excpet, of course, the one thing they're actually doing.

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    27 Aug 2026