enigmaecstatic



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    That thought settles into his brain dangerously. Ilya’s been with everyone. Girls. Guys. Others. What's another person on the list?

    If Shane wants experience…

    If he wants to stop feeling behind…

    Why not Ilya?

    Yes, he was a complete asshole that Shane wished he could choke to death sometimes and his brother's childhood bestfriend, but it wouldn’t mean anything. It's for the experience, the education of it all.

    For hockey.

    Obviously.

    Or: Ilya Rozanov has always been Shane Hollander’s older brother’s best friend. He was never supposed to become Shane’s first everything.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    65,917
    Chapters:
    12/12
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    1,805
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    14 Sep 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya let out a quiet laugh, shaking his head. “I want to be perfect for you, Shane. To make up for all the time we lost.”

    “I don’t want perfect,” Shane said quietly, stroking Ilya’s cheek. “I want something real. Something that we fight to make work, because we want it so much. Because being together is so much fucking better than being without each other.”

    ***

    Ten years ago, Shane and Ilya loved each other in secret and let each other go anyway.

    Now Shane, captain of the Ottawa Centaurs, is a single dad to four-year-old Ollie, and good at pretending he doesn’t think about the man he lost when they were younger and terrified of the fallout of being caught. Then one chance meeting turns into drinks, lingering looks, old feelings, and suddenly Ilya Rozanov is everywhere again.

    Some things, it turns out, never really leave you.

    As Shane and Ilya fall back into each other’s lives - and into something softer, steadier, and openly theirs this time — they realise maybe they’re finally ready for the life they used to dream about.

    Or: two hockey players who were each other’s first love reconnect ten years later and slowly build the family they always wanted.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    114,785
    Chapters:
    16/16
    Comments:
    3,273
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    9,706
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    3,450
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    14 Sep 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    "Hi, solnyshko.”
    The Russian pet name set a firework off inside Shane's mind as he heard it cooed from behind him. The intonation was just as he remembered, but the voice was much deeper.

    He turned and felt himself short circuit. It took every ounce of willpower to not let his jaw drop cartoonishly to the floor. Shane would recognize his individual features anywhere, even after 5 years. But it was as if someone had snapped their fingers and the smug, silly Russian boy who had been attached to Shane's hip for 3 summers was transformed into some sort of fucking Adonis right before his eyes.

    “Ilya-” was all Shane managed before strong arms were wrapped around his waist and lifting him off the ground in a greeting all too familiar from years ago.

     

    OR
    When Shane Hollander & Ilya Rozanov spent their summers as teens in an elite hockey camp, they quickly became inseparable friends. But they lose touch when Shane moves on as a prospect for the NHL and Ilya for the KHL.

    Years later, Montreal makes a bold move to take the hottest player in the KHL. After hearing of the Russian's reputation, the Montreal Captain is tasked with keeping his old best friend and new teammate out of trouble.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    112,340
    Chapters:
    22/22
    Comments:
    4,457
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    24,932
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    9,583
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    816,314

    01 Sep 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    "He saw the corners of Ilya's lips curve up ever so slightly in that infuriating, tiny hint of a smile. “Goodbye, Shane Hollander.”

    Shane could only ogle as Ilya walked away. Fuck. His ass was fat. This was so bad.

    Shane Hollander, star athlete, D1 hockey team captain, campus heartthrob, was being completely undone by a brooding Slavic art major that he would probably crawl on his fucking knees and bark for."

    --

    Shane is ready for another boring semester where he has to pretend like he cares about anything other than hockey. Until he sits down next to a mysterious Russian art student who also happens to be the hottest guy Shane has ever seen.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    29,093
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    2,520
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    29,091
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    399,044

    25 Aug 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    As a straight man, Ilya Rozanov has never had a gay roommate before, but it’s going pretty well. Shane Hollander is kind, silly, and an even bigger hockey nut than Ilya.

    So when Shane starts bringing men over, and Ilya begins to want to bash their fucking heads in, Ilya comes to a startling conclusion: He must be homophobic.

    (He’s jealous.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    40,186
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    4,919
    Kudos:
    54,333
    Bookmarks:
    14,599
    Hits:
    728,751

    30 Jul 2026