grunklestanford



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    “You know how girls always say I hate men, I wish I was gay so I could just date women?" Marleau said, out of nowhere.

    “Mhm.” Ilya replied. He took a long sip of his drink.

    “I think they’re fucking on to something.” Marleau said. “It’s less drama, right? Like, cause it’s two girls.”

    “What the fuck are you talking about?” Ilya asked.

    “I’m saying that if I were gay, none of this shit would’ve happened.” He exclaimed. “Like, it wouldn’t be so… messy. I’d just fucking play video games and workout, and then we’d fuck.”

    Ilya said, bewildered. “You’d be having gay sex. Sex with a man?”

    “Yeah.” Marleau sighed. “But a guy wouldn’t do this to me.”

    ———

    Cliff and Ilya are both going through breakups, and everyone knows the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.

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    13 Jul 2026

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    Shane shuffles his feet, nervously. “So, I met your mom. She’s really nice.”

    Rozanov’s eyes cut to him and there’s something in there that Shane doesn’t understand. He hates how bad he is at reading people’s faces, especially now that Ilya is looking at him like he has said the worst possible thing he could say, instead of trying to make nice small talk like he intended to.

    “What did you say?” Ilya asks.

    Shane flinches and this time he is sure Ilya didn’t miss it. Rozanov’s cutting gaze is making his skin crawl in a way that makes him want to run and hide. He swallows hard and, with everything in him, he holds Rozanov’s gaze.

    “I said,” Shane’s voice is shaky. “I met your mom. She’s really nice. We talked for a little while, before the figure skating started.”

    “Is this a joke?” Ilya’s voice cracks on the last word. “Are you playing some kind of sick joke on me?”

    OR: Shane Hollander meets Irina Rozanova('s ghost) at the Sochi Olympics.

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    08 Jul 2026

  3. Public Bookmark 76

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    Ilya goes to the Kingfisher for Scott Hunter Night and pours his heart out as much as a closeted Russian hockey player can!

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    08 Jul 2026

  4. Public Bookmark 40

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    Yuna accidentally discovers Ilya's and Shane's collection of sex toys.
    Ilya has never been more mortified in his entire life, and is freaking out (on the inside AND on the outside)
    David is... intrigued. Curious.
    And Shane... well, Shane behaves differently than expected

    Note (before you click on it and get disappointed)
    this fic is the absolute crackiest crack shit humor unhinged fic I've ever written and I've actually just written it for myself and it has not plot and doesn't make sense

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    29 Jun 2026

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    For a while, Shane forgot how this all goes. He enjoys being with Rose, dancing with her. Finds her friends good enough company, none of them laugh at him for not wanting alcohol. It's easy to get lost in the music and the revelation that he is a hockey superhero.
    And then, across the dancefloor, lit up in cyan and lilac and magenta, looking like somebody's God, Ilya Rozanov sucks some girl's tongue down his throat as he makes eye contact with Shane.
    And Shane has seen this film before.

    Shane's day is almost as perfect as his life. Hockey star, beautiful girlfriend, loving family and team. And the endless thoughts about his super casual ex-hookup plaguing his every waking moment. When Shane finds himself stuck in a time loop with no way out, what else is there to do but a little introspection and spiralling? Oh, and calling that casual hookup.

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    09 Jun 2026