jennyjoyce



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    “We’ll just commit to the buddy system,” Nile says.

    “Buddy system?” Booker asks, eyebrows raised.

     

    OR: Nile goes clubbing, gets lost in Ireland, learns to swing dance, dies in Portugal, and falls in love. Mostly in that order.

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    22 Mar 2025

  2. Public Bookmark 88

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    10 Oct 2024

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    “We’d like one unassembled owlbear, please,” the tiefling says to Nettie, holding out a small pouch. Nettie nearly drops it; the fabric feels like burning coals. “Shit,” the tiefling says apologetically, digging in her pocket and flipping Nettie a few extra coins. “Sorry. I run hot.”

    “You don’t want to each make your own?” Nettie asks. It’s both an upselling tactic and a genuine question. How are three grown women supposed to share one stuffed animal?

    The tiefling’s jaw drops. “Abso-fucking-lutely we do,” she says, heat crackling off of her skin. “How much is it to do three? More, right? Shadowheart, give the nice lady some gold.”

    ---------------------------------

    Shadowheart, Lae'zel and Karlach go to Build-An-Owlbear.

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    13 Aug 2024

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    “Just when I thought I’d seen the depravity of your kind at its fullest. Stealing a poor dog’s ball?” Shadowheart makes a grab for the ball; Lae’zel tosses it to her other hand, grimacing at the sheen of drool it leaves behind. “For what purpose? Just to ruin the day of a being actually capable of feeling joy?”

    “By the hells, Shadowheart, she’s taking the thing for a bloody walk,” Wyll says from his tent.

    “A walk,” Shadowheart repeats, crossing her arms. “Why?”

    “I assume the animals of this world require some amount of exercise if they’re not to collapse under the weight of their own atrophying muscles,” Lae’zel says. “But you wouldn’t know, would you? Do the disciples of Shar pre-kill their pets so they can skip right to the loss?”

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    Lae'zel starts to take Scratch out for daily walks. Shadowheart's determined to figure out why.

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    02 Jan 2024

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    Post-Merrick, The Old Guard goes to college, is domestic, deals with some loose ends, and everyone gets a happy ending.

    “I know you’re all as old as dirt, but I’m only 25,” Nile says. “I want to go out.”

    “Pardon,” Joe says. “Andy is the only one who is as old as dirt.”

    “Thank you, Joe,” Andy says.

    “I, on the other hand,” Joe continues, “am as old as… a Bristlecone Pine. Or perhaps a well-preserved and striking Obelisk from the Axum empire, stolen by Mussolini's fascist soldiers in the 1930s, and finally repatriated to Ethiopia in 2002.”

    “That’s weirdly specific,” Nile says.

    “You should major in archeology this time, my love,” Nicky says.

    “Mm.” Joe presses an absent kiss to Nicky’s temple. “There’s a thought. And I’m sure you aren’t suggesting it just because you want me to dress like that Indiana Jones.”

    “Of course not. Though I would not object,” Nicky says serenely.

    Language:
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    25 Feb 2021