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Where The Duck Is Minerva McGonagall? by Rogue_Roxy
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
28 Jul 2025
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Summary
Welcome to a somewhat serious inquiry into the whereabouts of a very sneaky witch.
Hermione Granger (badass Auror working for MACUSA) has been summoned back to Britain by Kingsley Shacklebolt to help with an investigation. Of course, Hermione agrees; working with Harry again is going to be so much fun… only, it turns out that Harry is unavailable, and unfortunately, she gets stuck with Draco Malfoy.
Warnings:
- Hold onto your gold; there is a Niffler in this story.
- Draco Malfoy reserves the right to cast Aguamentis at hair he deems offensive.
- Whatever is said in the Cave of Plunderous Intent, stays in the Cave of Plunderous Intent.
- Approach any wine provided by the Icelandic Legend Erla with extreme caution. -
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Summary
Facing a marriage law that includes a mandated honeymoon where couples are isolated in a beautiful place, the only thing Hermione and Draco seem to agree on is consummating their marriage to avoid going to Azkaban by the end of the week.
But who says they can’t use this as an opportunity to find out who wears the pants in the relationship? Stubborn as they both are, the only logical option is playing games with each other to see who will cave first.
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Unspeakable Draco is simply doing his job decommissioning a batch of cursed objects when he's distracted and scratched by one. His blood has the unfortunate consequence of activating the Curse of the Seven Deadly Sins, which can only be broken with the Cardinal Virtues.
With a little help from his long time colleague/friend/object of his secret affections Hermione Granger, he just might survive this curse without losing his mind.
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“What’s so funny?” A smooth baritone voice with a slight lilt called out. British, just as Steph had said. Sexy. And familiar. Too familiar.
Hermione spun around in her chair to see that the source of the voice had emerged from the back of the room. It was the tall man from earlier. Worn gray jeans, a fitted black tee, inky tattoos trailing up his arms—and a pair of piercing gray eyes and silvery white hair that she could never forget.
Draco Malfoy stepped backwards, eyes wide. “Granger?”
After bidding farewell to the Wizarding World, Hermione Granger starts afresh as a graduate student in America. What happens when she walks into a tattoo parlor and comes face-to-face with none other than a tall, tattooed, and terribly handsome Draco Malfoy?
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Summary
Hermione makes a passing comment about how she wishes she could outsource the day-to-day admin of her life. Draco Malfoy volunteers for the job.