redwoodforest



Recent bookmarks

  1. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    Shane’s brain cycled rapidly through a half-dozen celebrities, porn actors, Grindr profiles, every attractive bartender who’d ever served him a beer, trying to find a comparison for this level of outrageously concentrated beauty in one person, but he was drawing a blank.

    The man—Ilya Rozanov, Facilities Attendant, his badge read—gestured around the supply closet. “I help you find something?”

    --
    Canon-divergent AU set during the 2017-18 MLH season. Shane Hollander doesn’t have a single Cup to his name when he meets a very hot and very annoying janitor who works at the Metros stadium.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    28,855
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    1,186
    Kudos:
    5,457
    Bookmarks:
    1,929
    Hits:
    54,091

    08 Aug 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    holy fucking lifechanging shit

  2. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    Barstool Sports Canada reports that Montreal Metros captain Shane Hollander has started learning Russian from new teammate and Russian rookie Sergei Dovonchezky.

    Ilya has some thoughts. None of them are particularly kind.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    29,008
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    3,613
    Kudos:
    57,966
    Bookmarks:
    17,398
    Hits:
    983,184

    24 Jul 2026

  3. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    “Uh,” he says, looking up from his screen and feeling his ears go hot, realizing for the first time that this habit of his hasn’t actually come up before until this exact moment.

    “What?” Rozanov asks, sounding more amused than anything else. “You are one of the people who does Instagram for food now?”

    “No,” Shane says, stalling between answering and finishing his Snap so he can send it to Melissa, “one sec.” He finishes typing out 'Tuna melt. Chips. Pickles. It smells really good. Swiss cheese, I think.' before he looks back to Rozanov, putting his phone facedown on the coffee table. “Just sending it to someone on the staff. She likes knowing what I’m eating.”

    He doesn’t know if Melissa likes knowing what he’s eating, per se, but she also seems pleased when he talks about enjoying food for things beyond how many grams of protein it has in it.

    “Ah,” Rozanov says, in a tone Shane can’t quite read. “You always send her your food then, this girl?”

    (shane has a habit of sending his team's dietitian his meals for approval) (the problem with this habit? he forgets to tell ilya exactly what it is that melissa does) (how the tuna meltdown is AVERTED through the power of miscommunication)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,481
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    662
    Kudos:
    10,912
    Bookmarks:
    2,215
    Hits:
    60,947

    20 Jul 2026

  4. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    “Ah.”

    “‘Ah’,” Ilya repeats, giving him a look before he looks back to the tidily stacked frozen mouse packages in the freezer and makes a face as a little badly-hidden shudder moves through him. “Why the fuck do you have mice in your freezer, Shane? You are doing serial killer shit now? This is why you have cottage in the middle of nowhere? For serial killer things?”

    “It’s for Spaghetti,” Shane says.

    Ilya gives him an absolutely horrified look at that and turns a little green, which makes him remember that Spaghetti isn’t just his snake's name.

    “Not food!” He rushes to explain. “Not food spaghetti! Snake Spaghetti!”

    “What the fuck are you even saying right now,” Ilya says, looking honestly a little concerned that Shane might have something going wrong in his head.

    (Distancing himself from almost twenty years of owning a snake, Shane can indeed see why this situation might be a little alarming for someone on the outside looking in.)

    (It also clues him in to the fact that maybe it’s not just Spaghetti who should have gotten a little adjustment period.)

    (in which i give shane allergies AND a snake)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,192
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    535
    Kudos:
    6,593
    Bookmarks:
    1,164
    Hits:
    23,606

    20 Jul 2026

  5. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    When he was seven years old, Shane Hollander was briefly lost at an airport. Luckily, the kindness of a stranger ensured he made it back to his parents safely, putting an end to a terrifying three hours for the Hollanders. It takes twenty years (and one heated rivalry) for Shane to learn the name of his rescuer. It takes twenty years for Ilya to learn his wish had already come true.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,296
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    23
    Comments:
    1,549
    Kudos:
    31,573
    Bookmarks:
    7,265
    Hits:
    170,300

    20 Jul 2026