zaqplmaz
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“Is a kiss really all that you’re seeking to make you feel good about yourself?”
Both of Jungwon’s hands are on both sides of Jay’s head, planted firmly on the wall behind. “I wasn’t going to do this before but I’ve changed my mind: You’re eager to get that kiss so you won’t stress so much about it later, right? And what better way is there than to give your first kiss away to someone you know and trust?”
Jungwon’s willing to do this much for him? How could Jay not fall deeper?
(Or: The five phases Jay goes through during his senior year of trying to build himself into someone he isn’t + the one instance he finally realizes he’s perfect the way he is).
Series
- Part 1 of diary of a certified loser
Bookmarked by zaqplmaz
20 Sep 2026
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These days looking at Jay sometimes gives him the same sense as the elephant spin, Jay hyungs doubling and tripling and oscillating into each other in his vision when he stops to focus.
But we like our options, don't we?
In which Jungwon uses a One Wish Willow on Jay.
Bookmarked by zaqplmaz
19 Sep 2026
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“Is it a sin to want you?” Jungwon croaks out, tears trickling down the sides of his face once again, “Is the world going to go up in flames just because I want to love you?”
From childhood to adulthood, Jungwon always had Jongseong right by his side. Soon, their friendship takes a turn when they realize that their feelings are no longer that of “just friends” — Jungwon thinks that the more his feelings grow, the more distant Jongseong becomes. Can they successfully cross the line that mockingly stands in between?
Bookmarked by zaqplmaz
18 Sep 2026
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jungwon hates jay.
[jungwon]: i hate jay.
[jake]: u said that yesterday when he gave u his jacket.
[jungwon]: ok and? it was ugly.
[sunoo]: u were blushing.
[jungwon]: i had hypothermia??? shut up???
[riki]: are u asking us or telling usjay is the bane of jungwon’s existence. his stupid hair, his godforsaken tanned skin, his dumb smile those awful lips, even his stupid hair and those even worse, stupidly kind things he does like carrying jungwon home after parties or remembering how he takes his coffee— anyway.
jungwon hates him. so much. jay’s always prancing around like he's actively trying to make people fall in love with him.
(jungwon hates most how it seems to work on him.)
_____________________
[30.12.25 currently editing ]
Bookmarked by zaqplmaz
17 Sep 2026
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Four years after Jungwon leaves for university, Jay sees his best friend’s little brother again and immediately realizes two things:
Jungwon is very much not a kid anymore and seems determined to prove it.
And Jay wants him so fucking bad.He looked up into Jungwon’s desperate, clouded eyes. “Move for me.”
Show me how you want this. Use me to get yourself off. Let me watch you fall apart.
Bookmarked by zaqplmaz
12 Sep 2026