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He missed the bastard. He couldn’t believe he actually missed McKay. And honestly he had only himself to blame. He hadn’t realized until after the disaster that was Doranda just exactly how much time he had been spending with McKay, when he found that he needed to fill the sudden void that was left in his free time. His first thought had been to try to spend more time training with Teyla.
His bantos skills needed more work and at first Teyla had seemed to be on his side, sharing in his anger at McKay’s foolish actions. Plus it helped that Teyla and Ronon seemed to be on the outs as well, leaving her with sudden available free time. Free time that she was happy to spend beating bruises into his body with her terror sticks. Then, of course, her anger seemed to dissipate and then somehow morph into disappointment. With him. Disappointment that she shared freely with her bantos leaving him even more bruised and inclined to avoid her as well as McKay.
With two teammates he was actively avoiding he decided that maybe it was time to get to know his newest teammate, but that course of action was very quickly rejected when he discovered that Ronon was and had always been on McKay’s side regarding Doranda. A discovery he had made when he approached Ronon and got a rather blunt and strangely brief lecture. And now a month later he was avoiding all of his teammates. If in fact he still had a team. They hadn’t had a single mission together since Doranda. Which of course only added to his complete and utter boredom.
Which led to his current situation. He missed the bastard. He stomped his way through the corridors, scientists and marines both making a path for him, his mood obviously apparent. He missed listening to McKay tear every movie they watched apart, he missed the baffled look on his face every time John beat him at chess, he missed the hand waving and complaining and even McKay’s inability to fly a jumper in a straight line. He narrowed his eyes and scowled, missing the widened eyes and subsequent fleeing when Major Lorne caught sight of him.
He was completely baffled. Even the attempt to find his earlier anger at McKay’s actions didn’t work and brought him to a screeching halt in the middle of the hallway a nearby door opening in deference to his super gene. He wasn’t mad anymore and he didn’t know when that had happened, or why. He turned and marched back towards the gate room, needing answers. Towards the only person he could think of who was as mad at McKay as he had been.
Elizabeth looked up in concern as he all but threw himself into the chair in front of her desk. She made as if to open her mouth to ask him a question, but he beat her to it.
“Are you still mad at him?” As soon as the question left his mouth he looked away, not sure if he wanted to hear the answer.
“Well, I… That’s hard to say honestly.” He looked back at her and saw a frown lining her mouth, her brow delicately wrinkled. “I’m still angry that he put your lives on the line, that he let his ego get the best of him, but honestly I kinda…”
“Miss him?”
She sighed and smiled her elegant face softening. “Miss him, that’s exactly it. And if I miss him, then how can I still be that angry at him. The handful of times I’ve seen him since, he’s been so downtrodden I’d have given almost anything to have him ranting and raving.”
“Yeah,” He smirked wryly. “I’m pretty sure that I’m not even mad at him anymore and that’s driving me nuts. I’ve never, and I mean never, forgiven someone so easily or so quickly for risking my life and I don’t know why I have with McKay?”
“You don’t know why?” Her eyebrows rose until they nearly blended into the darkness of her hairline.
“Am I supposed to?”
An annoyingly smug grin spread across her face, every tooth she had showing. “I’d have thought it was obvious to anyone with eyes, but you’re clearly oblivious. And no, before you ask I’m not sharing. You need to figure it out for yourself.”
His teeth clicked as he snapped his mouth shut and glared at her. John hated all-knowing women. Teyla was just as bad, hell he’d even seen Lieutenant Cadman do it in the short time since she arrived. “And just exactly how am I supposed to figure it out?”
“Go see Rodney maybe. It might just click.”
“It might..”
“Click. That’s what I said.” She shooed him out of her office with a wave of her hand. John stood and confusedly walked out, having been clearly dismissed.
John hated to tell her, and he wouldn’t, but he thought she was right. He needed to see him and figure things out. He quickly made his way through slightly darkened corridors towards the main labs, the sky outside showing a storm moving in. It was immediately apparent as he walked into the lab that McKay wasn’t there, in fact it seemed that Zelenka and Simpson were the only ones in the lab.
“Přijďte k vašim smyslům? Rodney is in bed. I sent him away, could not work with brooding all over the lab. Like Kopl štěně. Go away, find him.” With a final dirty look Zelenka turned back towards his station and at the far right station Simpson’s shoulders were shaking.
“Thanks, I think.” John backed away from the lab door slowly and had to resist the urge to run from the lab all the way to McKay’s quarters. After a month of avoidance he just wanted to get whatever this was over with and as quickly as possible. It took no time at all before he found himself outside McKay’s quarters and instead of bothering to knock he used his special connection with Atlantis to open the door.
He stepped inside silently, letting the door close behind him, turned and stopped dead. His eyes widened and his heart thudded harshly in his chest. He couldn’t take his eyes away from the scene before him, couldn’t quite believe what he was seeing, but one thing was for certain. He fully understood what Elizabeth was talking about now.